The Greatest Generation - Rockin' Knuck (S1E8)

Episode Date: February 17, 2016

When the crew takes shore leave on a planet inhabited entirely by late night Cinemax adult movie stars, it appears to be a bouncy, floppy paradise for the away team. Too bad Wesley (the boy?) learns the hard way about how much these people care about landscaping. It's an episode that leaves almost nothing to the imagination!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation podcast hosted by two guys who were real embarrassed to be having a Star Trek podcast. I am your host Adam Pranaka. I'm Ben Harrison. We really like haven't quite committed to what level of embarrassment we're feeling.

I have. I'm at the level of embarrassment that means that I'm wearing an order-on hood while recording the podcast now. Our artworks has a bit embarrassed, but maybe we need to go back to the drawing board on that. I'm all the way embarrassed. Yeah, because I mean, we've both been watching Star Trek the Next Generation for years. We're both huge fans, but it used to be something that we sort of just did when nobody else was around. Like, this is not a show I can watch when my wife is even in the apartment.

Like, it is not on the table. Do you have to when she comes home? Like do you have to hide the evidence that you've been watching it? It's it's seriously more covert than masturbation in my life. This is episode seven, Justice. So, the Enterprise has arrived at this planet called Rubicon 2, and Picard is, which already sounds dirty, Picard comments on how beautiful it is, and he says that they've sent a small away team to check the place out, interact with the inhabitants, and Riker saunters onto the bridge with just a fucking shit-eating grin coming back from this away, I miss it. Why is this uniform wet?

In surprising places. And they kind of, like, this is all happening and it's the doctor coming on to the bridge to bark at the captain that they've, they're all exhausted from colonizing this planet, a couple of systems away. Everybody needs, everybody needs some shore leave. And-

Did she order him? Like she's that- She doesn't quite get there, but she's sort of insists she insists a little a little more Full-throatedly than then she insisted that he submit to a psychological exam in the last episode That's a good point. Yeah Yeah, maybe she just had a big cup of coffee or something This is the cold open of the episode before we go into our space,

the final frontier opening sequence. And it literally ends with the line. As Picard decides to authorize Shoreleave, let's hope it's not too good to be true. It's just hope, it's not too good to be true. Uh. Which I feel like could be the beginning of like 75% of all Star Trek episodes. Right, if it goes without saying, he says it.

Yeah. So the way team beams down, I think it's worth and y'all and Troy. Before they beam down, just a second, like they're talking about it, before going back down. And they're using all this weird in Yuendo, like they make love at the drop of a hat. Tasha Yars, like at the drop of any hat.

Right. Any and every hat. What does that mean? Like a Hamburg or a Trilby? They don't draw a lot of distinctions between some brairos and bulk apps. That's that put this on knowledge that I'm just not getting from you. Oh man, the good folks that put this on will sue me if they hear me trying to associate myself with them. Well, it's a good thing that they know or anyone else you're listening to the show.

So Wesley is also a member of this OA team and he's tasked specifically by the captain to assess the planet for whether it's good for children. How old is Wesley? Do you think? Like the character of Wesley? Yeah, I don't know. They refer to him as a child, but he's clearly like a teenager, right?

And he's definitely referred to as the boy a bunch of times in this episode again. Yeah. But he also like, But it's not like he's a toddler like reviewing the planet for safety. Right. Like it's such a weird thing.

Like he's, he says, he's a young adult. He's definitely like, like there's grass on the field to use a gross euphemism. So anyways, the scene where they beam down is really funny because the Edo, the natives of this planet that have met Ryker and Yar already run up to them and Warf is like, yo, what the fuck? And they run up to them like, yeah. Ryker's like, chill, chill, we know these guys. And then they start hugging everybody like, yo,

we're definitely gonna fuck later. It's the end of the message that's been- Well, one of the, we have already fucked before. Yeah, we fucked already and we're going to again. And I detected a little bit of jealousy and joy when the hot babe was rubbing up on Riker. Oh, all of them get a little bit of rubbing. Yeah.

Safe for Wesley who awkwardly like, isn't sure how to interact with anyone for some reason. No, yeah, he's definitely in a little bit of an awkward phase at the moment. I can. If it's not a bald man, he's just not sure how to please that person. We should talk about how these aliens look,

these, these Edo. Like, these are not fish people. No. These are not dog people. They're described as almost identical to us. I think in the beginning of the episode, so they're, and they are all blonde. So it's like kind of a Aryan master race of aliens.

The women all have curly hair and the dudes all have just kind of like 80s blonde dude haircuts, but they all are basically wearing like, like hanker chiffs that have been tied together strategically to hang off of their bodies. Just so. Like if you were, if you were gonna sit on any of the furniture, I think you'd want

to put something down first. That's, that's the level of coverage we're talking about. Yeah. This is like, this is a level of coverage where like, if this was a main cast character on any TV show at any point, if they got as naked as these people are, it would be like a very sexy moment in a television series. But these people are all just kind of running around like this, that's their normal way of life.

They have a very hedonistic lifestyle. They all look like cinematics adult film stars. Oh yeah, they definitely, like there's a lot of. Good looking enough that they're like on the line of severe looking. Yeah, there's a lot of good looking enough that they're like on the line of severe looking. Yeah, there's a lot of early 80s era boob jobs on display. Lot of Tory spelling level boob jobs. Yeah, it's like, it's sort of like any, any like CG alien in a film in the like

post Jurassic Park, but pre I don't know, like Avatar era where it's like, I can see where you're going with this boob job but it's not quite plausible. It's like a weird combination of like Hitler's final solution fantasy and like late night softcore pornography. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's real weird. But everyone seems real nice. Like that's another part of it.

It's not like they look like they're filthy porn stars, but they are like sexy Mormons. They're really nice and innocent sounding. And they, and like they, I don't know, like there isn't that undercurrent of filth that you might associate with. It's not what we're describing them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so Wesley gets introduced to some kids

and everybody is running around, having a blast in this paradise-like environment. And meanwhile, back in orbit, data has been going nuts picking up something off their starboard bow, and they send out a signal, and finally this thing reveals itself, and it's this massive object that's in orbit. It sort of looks like a space station or something. And it sends this orb out through space and it floats up into the enterprise and winds up on the bridge. And it's this kind of aggressive beach ball that has a conversation with Riker trying to determine what their intentions are. It has observed that they planted a colony a couple of systems away and it's really concerned

that they might be trying to do the same thing here. Picard assures them that that's not the plan. And then the beach ball goes and attaches itself to data's head and data falls over and is lying knocked out on the bridge while this thing kind of interfaces digitally with him. With fingers or a connection. Yeah, I guess it's like attracted to the fact that he has a Android mind. That's the kind of level that this beach ball is working on. It doesn't like the fervor communication so much.

Moving from topic to topic, so that no one has a chance to think the perfect was really quiet, not ignored, not ignored. There's a pretty funny scene where YAR and Warf are just like shooting the old breeze with a couple of the Edo and they're like, yeah, like we kill anybody that commits any crime and it doesn't really matter how small it is. No, like any small insignificant crime, we will kill them dead. And Warf and YAR, like we got to find Wesley and then like smash cut to Wesley, going long for a softball and crashing through a

butterfly net into some flowers that were growing just beyond a white barrier and just his luck, the only two cops on the entire planet happen to be very close by and they run up and they're also the only two cops on the entire planet happen to be very close by and they run up. They're also the only two angry looking people on the entire planet. Did you notice one of them was Thomas Keller? The famous chef? Yeah. You looked exactly like Thomas Keller.

Man, I feel like I should know more what Thomas Keller looks like, given all of the Thomas Keller getting only two stars for per se that's been in the news recently. But, uh, this security person is as angry as a Thomas Keller getting two stars. Yeah. Murderously angry. Yeah. Yeah. And they, uh And so they're kind of like getting ready to whip out their lethal injection when all of the rest of the OA team runs up and Riker like socks it to one of them. And Worf and Yar pull out their garage door opener, grade phasers on them.

It's really weird how these guys are getting thrown around and nothing's flopping out. Yeah. The number of moose knuckles on the dudes in this episode is so fucking upsetting. It's almost all you can focus on is just like, wow, like you can really see like the outline of the tip of his dick in this costume. Yeah, it's like so much putty. Yeah. But anyways, the Edo are convinced to not kill Wesley immediately while they sort this out.

And I guess this space station in orbit has been blocking communications between the OATM and the ship, but once the sphere departs data's body, they resume communication. And so Picard beams down to the surface and you know learns, you know, gets caught up basically. He watches the episode. Yeah, yeah, as well. And he basically says like, we're not really down with your capital punishment situation, which the Edo take great umbrage at. Which I thought was a pretty good moment. They're kind of like, you know, this is our law and you can come here and tell us how

fucking great and superior you are, but Cecil fucking broke our law. Yeah, but at the same time, like, that's not being a very good host either. You don't like, you know, tell people where the bathrooms are and where they can grab a bite to eat and like where they can park. And they're not disclosed that you will be immediately killed for trampling the flowers. Yeah. I think they've got to take a little bit of responsibility. More responsibility than they take, which is none for that oversight. Yeah, I guess maybe they are a little bit more primitive than the crew of the Enterprise. Where's that cop keep the syringe if he's wearing nothing but a towel? Didn't he take it out like out of a belt?

They had like slightly more garb on then. I mean not like to the point where it didn't, they didn't have moose knuckles or anything, but they did have like a- At no point was there a lack of moose knuckle for any of the men on this planet. Yeah, they're rocking a lot of Nuck. Rocking Nuck. So anyways, Picard convinces one of the Ido to come back up to the ship after kind of saying like I'm not gonna just unilaterally

take Wesley back because the prime directive, yada yada yada, and so she comes up to the ship and they go to the observation lounge and she gets a load of the space station and sort of prostrates herself in the face of the glory of God. And we come to understand that the the Edo worship this thing as a God thing in data's words. And so then Picard goes and talks to data. And like, this is kind of like the part of the show where he's trying to kind of sort out what to do about Wesley. And every time he's got to sort of have a dispassionate conversation with somebody about what's gonna happen

with Wesley, the doctor finds a way of just kind of barging in and like draping everything with all of the emotional baggage that it's gonna have for her. Which is like. While also making clear to us the viewer that Wesley is her son. Yeah, and it's plausible enough when she bumps into him in the hallway and then plausible enough again in the sick bay when he goes to talk to data

about what he has learned about these species that they've encountered in orbit through his mind-meled or whatever. But then like... Digital stimulation. But then Picard kind of goes back to his quarters with data and they're kind of having a discussion of the kind of tricky legal situation therein. And the doctor walks into Picard's quartersters like without ringing the doorbell or like requesting permission to enter or anything she like the door opens and she just fucking walks right in Like she's there to borrow scarves. Yeah, yeah, it's the third time now that the the door

mechanisms have really failed the people on the stars of petter prize But I guess Picard makes up his mind that Wesley is not gonna buy the farm this day and he beams down to the surface and they sort of half-assedly debate the points of the case, but ultimately Picard is just like, you know what, your fucking law is kind of bullshit and there's not really anything you can do to stop us.

And I'm willing to take the chance that that thing in orbit will kill everybody on my ship in defiance of that law. And just another example of the card being super willing to sacrifice everyone's life. Yeah, real cavalier. Very cavalier. So they go to like beam up and it's like this hilariously awkward scene where it's like beam me up and nothing happens and everybody's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, which I feel like it's gotta be the most embarrassing thing if you're in the

Federation is for that to happen. It's like, hey guys, watch this. And then whatever you wanted to have happened does not fuck a gork out. So far, like after the last episode, Picard shows no weirdness about being transported anywhere, even though just moments before he was transported into a cloud. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, he doesn't seem to retain any kind of traumatic memories. He's getting right back up on the transporter horse. Yeah, so Picard just kind of looks up at this guy and makes an appeal directly to the entities entities in orbit as though he is talking angrily to God and says like, you know, like justice, justice is the ideal and laws are not absolute and you can't just ensure, you know, you have to have exceptions to allow for justice ultimately because no two situations are the same. And I guess he's sort of making the case on both sides, on the prime directive side and on the side

of the law that the Edo follow. And so the transporter beam goes ahead and engages and we never hear from the Edo again So I have no like we were never really left at any resolution about how they feel about The argument that he made but he really makes this very like it's like a three sentence argument right at the end and it like crystallizes the The conflict that he's been having the conflict that he's been having.

But for whatever reason. Yeah, almost everything is running out of time in the episode and he has to really summarize everything. Yeah, but the entity seems to be satisfied and so it lets them go on their merry way and it even lets them keep their colony a couple of systems away. Yeah, so that's a happy ending. Yeah.

On a planet full of them. Yeah, so that's a happy ending. Yeah. On a planet full of them. Yeah, oh hey! A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it!

The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards.

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Stuff with Wesley and the kids like this is kind of a Wesley Center episode and He runs around with these for his soft core and he runs around with these. For his soft core pornography as it is, it actually is a very Wesley-centric episode. Yeah, and they definitely have a couple... It's a little uncomfortable with the kids because it's like kind of children that are below the age of consent

wearing the same extremely revealing clothing that the softcore porno performers are wearing. Yeah, they seem to get that they should go do their own thing away from the adults too. I don't, whatever her name is, the lead girl, the lead Edo, like says, yeah, maybe Wesley should, should go find some kids to play with while we bow down in our conference room These goes guys don't want to be ducking jizms the way the way they would be if they were stuck around here but

at some point one of the Girls in Wesley's group goes like Wesley. I want you to teach me something and He's very demure. He's like well well, there's some games that I don't know yet. And she says, no, I want you to teach me to play ball, which is like not a euphemism. I want to do something too with you. What? It's something you can teach me, will you? The Topanga character seems to be laying it on like pretty suggestively in Wesley's eyes, but unfortunately she was just talking about playing ball. That ball winds up getting him in a lot of trouble. What did you think of the bro down between Wurf and Riker when they're talking about doing it? Yeah, that team? It was, so Worf kind of tells Ryker,

like I don't bang Earth women because I would have to restrain myself too much and it wouldn't be any fun for me. But about plain old basic sex, you must have some need for that, of course. But with the females available to me, sir, Earth females, I must restrain myself too much. They are quite fragile, sir. War, if anyone else had said that, I'd suspect he was bragging.

Bragging, sir. Which is kind of in conflict with the way he greets the Ido at the beginning, because he's like, oh nice, nice planet you guys got here. Did you get any detection of like, Riker going, yeah, I hear that. Show no, like almost like a mental rocks situation between the two, like maybe Riker understands for better than he did before.

I mean, it was either that or Riker was sort of distracted planning the next gash he was planning on stabbing. How much sex do you think Riker had on this planet before beaming back up the first time? Yeah, we don't really have any sense of how much time they spent on that first, on that first away mission. But judging by the look on his face when he comes back up, I mean, we know that Riker has a lot of depth and breadth to his sexual experience. And the look on his face certainly leads me to believe that he's kind of found a new Nirvana.

It's joy like we've never seen on any character's face. Yeah. There's one other kind of random moment that I wanted to talk about in this episode, which is when they first have visual contact with the space station in orbit, there's having trouble scanning it and the guy that's over on security where YAR would have been, had she not been down on the planet, so it's sort of there and not there at the same time. And Picard yells to Jordy, like, go get a real look at it.

And Jordy, like, runs down to some other deck and just goes and looks out the window, and then radios back up to the bridge based on what his visor sees, which implies that his visor is a way better sensor than anything on the outside of a fucking starship. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Does it make any kind of sense? Why not just put a fucking visor out on the outside of the ship if it's so great? Yeah, why not make Jordy into a hood ornament and yeah, bronze him. Oh, man. There's a lot of things that don't make a lot of sense in this episode.

That seems to be a theme of season one. What did you think of like all the running? Yeah, so the people on the planet, the only way they get anywhere is by jogging. And I- It felt to me like the away team pulled up to a Les Schwab tire center with a flat tire and everyone ran out to greet them. It was really weird. Yeah, I mean, I think that that is probably adaptive for their society because you need

a lot of stamina to bone. That's how you get so jacked. A mount of times that you have to bone any given day. And yeah, like these people are super fit. Like all the dudes have like some serious peck action. Everybody's got a nice flat tummy. Everybody's got some moose knuck. I mean, there's some...

Some righteous knuck. mean there's some righteous knuck. Lot of eye candy in this episode. A serious question. Do you think this is actually the most racist episode that we've seen so far? Against white people. I don't know. Like the whole the whole final solution planet is really weird. It kind of squicks me out. They're all white and blonde. Yeah.

They evidently have formed a perfect society without any crime. Right. I don't know. The only way that's plausible is if there's no mixing of. Right. That's not getting it. It was gross in that way. Yeah, I suppose the kinds of imaginations that would come up with the race in episode

three would come up with the race that we are currently dealing with. So yeah, I mean, I think it's probably kind of a continuation of that same racism. Yeah, it made me uncomfortable in a lot of ways this episode. Also, the thing that made it the most memorable, I thought, I think of all the season one episodes, this is the one that felt the most familiar. Yeah, this one... It seemed like the outlier. Probably stuck in my memory as much as any episode from season one, for sure.

It's also one of the ones that really boil down into a single sentence, like slug line in the writer's room, much like the What If The Crew Gets drunk episode. This one's like, what if they find an orgy planet? Yeah, what could there be wrong with that orgy planet? I was thinking about that, what if the crew all got drunk premise? That was the second episode. And I feel like that is such a fun premise to explore when you've really developed a series. Like if that was in the third or fourth season, I think it would be really interesting because we would really know a lot about the characters.

And I mean, same thing here. Like, the kind of couple of OAT members we see get to interact with this orgy planet. Like, it's like, it's used for character development and not to kind of deliver the promise of the premise of these characters, which missed opportunity in my opinion. So many missed opportunities. I have a very serious question to ask you. Who is your drunk Shimoda? Renable! Drunk Shimoda!

You know, my gut is just that it's the doctor, because I feel like she is just constantly kind of not, you know, where she's not wanted. Like, the captain keeps needing to be, you know, making a decision given to facts and not given the kind of emotional baggage of the situation situation and she just will not relent in injecting that emotional baggage wherever she can find a place to inject it. Good pick. God, I feel like we should be keeping track. Has Beverly been given the drunk Shimoda before? I don't think I have. I actually haven't written down on all my notes, so.

Oh, jeez. We could like make a power ranking on the website. Yeah, make sure. Not that we actually have a website. Put that on our show notes. Yeah. My drunk Shimoda vote is going to be for, so there's like the lead,

Edo female, and then there's sort of her, her compatriot, the real he-man looking guy. Yeah. I didn't get his name but I'm voting for him Because there are about five times during this episode where he's very clearly like speaking swingers rules to people in a In a like there's an air of confident swinger about him that is so creepy that that sounds like a drunk person like he says specifically no one does anything uncomfortable to them like that's one of their main rules and that

like if if you read any like dance average like any of his columns or whatever like that is a major like swinging rule that I just laughed out loud at. It was super funny. He just sprinkles them throughout the episode in a really matter of fact, cool guy way. One could argue a drunk Shimoda style way. And so that's why he gets my vote. You know, the swinging movement,

I think was founded by fighter pilots from Post World War II era. He really kind of fits that mold as well in a lot of ways. He's kind of like a top-gun type, jock character. The idea of they're being regulations for a sexual encounter, like kind of fits into that mindset, he may be a real life swinger. Are you saying that swinger subculture was in fact started by the greatest generation? Wow. Wow. We've, we've, we've, we've hit on something very important in this episode. I think we're through the looking glass right now. Yeah, I think we need to go deeper.

It's not as riker. Hashtag greatest yet. Denar, Dama Kringet, Angela, and Denar. Okay, so in the next episode, episode eight, The Battle, a thought-altering device controlled by a Ferengy captain seeking revenge on Picard for his son's death, threatens the life of the captain and the safety of the Enterprise. I remember this episode, they like find weird orbs and people's quarters, right? And like the captain is like beaming in to different parts of the ship, and like they can't figure out how he's doing it. So that's how I'm right.

Yeah, sort of. I don't remember much about this episode, to be honest. I can't remember what son this this Frengy captain would be revinging on though. Yeah and it's not like did they kill a Frengy in that first Frengy episode? I don't remember that happening. Yeah I don't think it did. And I think I think the character of Picard is capable of a lot of of crimes. But murder doesn't seem to be one of them. Yeah well I'm excited to see what goes down with our second encounter with the worst alien race in the Star Trek canon. Yeah, I mean, if it's called the battle, I'm pretty excited for actual space battles.

Yeah. You know, like science fiction should have. Right. Looking forward to it. Yeah, I mean maybe we'll get a little bit of that knuck in this, but probably not. Well, sometimes the Ferengi brings some... They've got head knuck, don't they? They've got nose knuck, for sure.

Alright, I think that's going to do it for this episode, I think. I think that's, we've said all that there is to be said about the episode of Justice. A favorite episode of the season so far, I think. Yeah, yeah, a lot of eye candy, a lot of crotch candy. Yeah, good times. A lot of feelings. A lot of feels. With that, we'll be back at you next week with another exciting installment of The Greatest Generation. That's right.

If you have any comments, I guess, be sure to reach out with us on Twitter using the hashtag GreatestGen. Yeah, I mean, I'm saying that just to my mom and dad, who was the only ones listening. Yeah, that, and your mom and dad, Ben.

Yeah. Both of whom actually have Twitter accounts. You know what, it's easy. You're very single enough. If they do, I'm gonna ask them about that whole summer camp story. We've got a lot to talk about. Yeah.

Oh boy. Oh, that's what that never come up again. I, I'm gonna bring it up every chance I get. Alright, see you next time. I've been Ben Harrison. I've been Adam Prandico. Byeee! Good show, young chap.

The boy! That'd be so great. I asked your mom and dad about you and that's the response. The boy? Young Wesley? Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show.