The Greatest Generation - Slow-Motion Hulk (ENT S4E5)

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

When Dr. Soong’s augments arrive at Cold Station 12 and continue their mission to unfreeze dangerous shit, Archer meets up with a Lennie Aug and convinces him to help kick the frozen can further down the road. But after the away team beams into a hostage situation, Soong extracts the codes from Richard Riehle and the augments leave everyone on the station to die. What’s a great errand at a great time? How is Ben like Arik Soong? Which side is Persis on? It’s the episode that got unexpectedly arc’d.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Here's to the finest crew in starving. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys. Just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica.

I'm Ben Harrison. You've been in techno hell all day. Yeah, man. With my internet service provider, specifically, the kind that you can't talk to, like a person, you've got to go onto their website and then, like, do a chatbot thing. And then what is probably a second chatbot that's supposed to, like, be more emotive than the first one, to make it seem as though you're talking to a person. Right.

I can see how that would be frustrating, Mr. Pranica. Then I really think the thing that as a society we don't talk enough about W slash R slash T disasters is like when total internet outage inevitably happens When the Omega Pulse comes Ours was out for I think four hours It was like the S&L sketch when the teleprompter goes out And it immediately goes into like order of the hand shit I smell from your scent

That you are weak I challenge you I'm ready to put bloody handprints On walls Two hours into an internet outage And this is consistent with You and your wife are over there Good Morning Phoenixing

Yeah Yeah My wife would tell you this about me The thing that My biggest button is a thing That should work Not working Like the expectation of working

Is almost assured and when that thing doesn't work, oh man, that just burns my omelet. Oh, yeah. I've been at Soundcheck with you. I know. Ben, there's never any expectation of tech working at Soundcheck. So I think that's a different lesser version of this monster that came out today.

Fair enough. The other morning, we were going to record two episodes of Wholesome, our Smash Hit, Patron's Only podcast. And we'd already had to double up because the goose had had an internet problem the week before and we woke at my house and my internet was not working and I discovered that my cable modem was bricked just like, you know, no lights, no response to any overture to see if it would come back to life and give us some internet. And I had to like... And you put that modem through a lot, like probably more than

most. Oh, yeah. Oh, there were some truly regrettable torrents that stopped downloading that day. Now, before you disposed of it or give it to an electronics recycler, did you like take the drill to it and physically destroy it? No, we actually did like a Viking burial. We shot a flaming arrow at it in a little boat out on the ocean. There's a little modem in a boat out there. Yeah, a little modem in a boatum. I had to find a store that sold like a cable modem that was on the approved cable modems list of my internet service provider at 7 a.m. And, you know, like... What a great errand.

At a great time. Yeah. Just the most delightful people you see in the Walmart in Burbank. You're on your own at the Walmart and Burbank, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if they're locking up the toothpaste and the socks and whatever, like, how are they treating the modems at the Walmart and Burbank. It was a bit of an odyssey to find somebody that

was qualified to open that particular case. I bet. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, we've been we've been struggling over here, you and I with all of our internet connections, but we persevere. Yeah. And we bring the show, you know? We really do. I mean, I don't know, man. With our problem solving abilities and the Miriam issues we've had to apply that toward. I don't know, man. Are you feeling like we could be augmented kind of superior intellects over here? Ours isn't quite the superior intellect, but it's on its way there. Ours is the embarrassed intellect, isn't it? It's season four, episode five of Star Trek Enterprise, Cold Station 12. Speech and guitar

Ben, what happened 11 years ago? That's a question I had all throughout the last episode. I had been wondering that too. We find out at the beginning of this one, it's A.I. Sung doing a sort of group lesson to his students. And this is what they would look like 11 years ago, like little kids. Yeah. His lesson is about the eugenics wars.

Have their costumes been the same the entire? entire time and that's why they're all torn up now that would explain it yeah they're all they all just became the hulk slow motion Hulk wait okay so i'm trying to do some math here was 11 years ago in the timeline no is so i'm fucked up because i'm thinking both the timeline of star trek enterprise and the timeline of the release because i saw the kids in these costumes and i was like these kids look like kids from TNG because they have shiny costumes. It's true. But it's not 11 years

ago and that puts us into TNG era. That doesn't make any sense. That's personal time. Yeah. That's your own Benjamin R. Harrison timeline. Yeah. You know, there's maybe some kind of quantum entanglement thing going on making them have TNG kid outfits.

It's amazing that they don't have slick back hair. Let's just put it that way. I am too. When you get this kind of subjectivity about a major subject like the eugenics wars seems to me like this is what happens when you operate a school

outside of a Department of Education style umbrella when a school can just teach whatever it wants this is what AISung is doing here teaching his version of the eugenics wars one that makes them the victims

yeah this is much like my high school American history class being taught with a Howard Zinn book as its primary text. Sooning is teaching a very woke version of... You were watching Goodwill Hunting and you Rick Dalton the screen when the Howard Zinn book is referenced.

You're in the theater with a beer also doing the point? That's great. Yeah, just a kid at the time. Kind of amazing. How'd you know? But Soonie has big plans for these kids. They will fulfill humanity's promise, which he believes to be augmenting humanity

into a higher form of being. This is the moment, Ben, where you know he's a bad dad. You can't put that kind of pressure on a kid. Right? Yeah. And as somebody that has a college degree in the humanities, I wondered what humanity's

promise was exactly. Hmm. Yeah. Debt would be my answer to that. Setting the rest of their siblings free. is like a big concluding statement to this scene. Like, it's ultimately like a message of encouragement, right?

Like, I want to empower you to carp the DM. Like, get out there and do your best work because you're supposed to be genetically the best people. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So with that, we cut to the bird of prey back in the present where Malik is talking about his plan to invade Cold Station 12. And, like, AI-Sung is now kind of put himself in the captain's chair.

And he's like, he's arguing for an invasion plan that involves no killing. And Malik is like, what is this guy even talking about? Dad, what are you talking about no killing? What if they don't give us a choice? No one is to be killed. Yeah, you can just tell, by the look on his face, Malik isn't loving that idea. Where's the fun in that? Photographs?

Just photographs. Under no circumstances are you to engage the enemy. And given that he's the only one of this group of folks that we've seen kill already, I think he's got a taste for it. It does seem to enjoy it a little bit. You hit a Captain Starlog where the entrepreneur has pulled up to a desolate planet. And Archer's explaining that they don't have anything to go on. They have no idea where AI Soon might have decided to go with these mainians.

acts so the one thing that they do have is coordinates of where he claims to have raised them and that's what they're here to poke around in it's like a little mini colony that he's built on this desolate planet i mean a lot of words for a place like this compound one of them i think you might consider calling it a felicity i think so too yeah this looked like a burbank airplane hangar from the 40s, right? Like built into this mountain. Yeah, very much so. I really like the set.

They're poking around. They got your various protein recombinators and water filtration systems. They got a classroom. They also have a room full of like plugs. And they're like, what was plugged into this? Yeah. medical equipment, they think. I mean, this is an audio program,

so I just want to be clear about the room full of plugs and what that looks like. These are like cables and wires and stuff. Yeah. I mean, an FOD out there might have an idea

of what a room full of plugs may look like. Go with your third guess. And that's what we have here in this episode. When E40 says my plug met me at Denny's, this is not the kind of plug

he's talking about. No. I mean, I was going to use that reference but now I'm kind of struggling to come up with another one. You got to it first. Yeah. So they're not there alone. There is a knife-wielding maniac creeping around in the shadows at this place,

as you would want in any shadowy, unlit, spooky Star Trek cave. I completely agree with you. If a realtor were showing this commercial property and, like, walking the Dustbuster Club around, they would be like, oh yeah, obviously the room full of plugs I already showed. you pretty great. High vaulted ceilings, I think really great for making it feel spacious. Also, a lurking maniac with a knife in the shadows, that comes with the property. Yeah. And like, you know, when you're looking at a house, often they'll have like cookies baking in the oven. You know, when you're at William Sonoma, they've got that simmer pot full of like

cinnamon sticks and cloves and shit to make it smell like delicious food is on the on the stove. He's going to tell us what it smells like. You want to get the sense of a knife-wielding maniac, just, you know, in the ambiance of the place, right? Archer's like, is that piss? Reed is like, that is definitely piss. Realtors like, it is, but we do have gestures out at the shadows, a knife-wielding maniac somewhere out there. It's very stressful because you're like, this guy is fucking, he's like the, this sleeper agent augment that they left behind to kill whoever comes looking for them.

He's going to be, he's going to have like the craziest augment ninja skills. And then he just goes and steps somewhere and makes a noise and read of all people notices him. I was like, how can it be that Reed would be, would get the drop on this guy and this guy would not get the drop on Reed? Total coincidence, I think is the answer to that. Well, I think that the reveal ultimately is that he's not an augment. He doesn't have special skills. Yeah, he's the Lenny augment, and he's the trash that the other augments left behind.

Look, Archer does his best to kind of negotiate with him. Like, at no point does he ever drop the knife of his own volition. The ring encircles him. Archer's like, hey, man, we're friends from Earth. That was exactly the wrong thing to say to this guy, and they get into a tussle. right after. Yeah. And again, you're like, oh, no, this guy will destroy Archer with his fists. We've seen what augment fists do. During the tussle, I was looking for jerk cables. I was too. But none were attached. Somehow Archer knocks this guy out cold with one punch.

Unbelievable. Why did they cut away before we got the moment when you looked down at his fist like, oh, yeah. I can't believe it. I knocked out an augment? Why didn't we do the thing that they do in Con Air where we cut to the courtroom where they're like, your fists should be registered as deadly weapons? I think we know someone who could recut that into this moment.

With your military skills, you are a deadly weapon. And are not subject to the same laws as other people that are provoked because you can respond with deadly force. Cut to the bird of prey. A.I. Sung is visited by Malik in there. And AI is looking at Raken's pad, like a parent looking at a dead kid's teddy bear. Like, there is a lot of emotion projected onto this little device. AI just can't understand what happened to this guy. Last he heard he was alive and well and doing great. And what's weird is no one on the bird of prey is answering any questions about him or the circumstances of a his disappearance. Very strange. I love the idea that he's been going around, going like, huh, where is Rocking?

What's he up to nowadays? You ever, you know, go to college or anything like that? Malik explains, yeah, I did a fratricide on him. We had, you know, it wasn't me, it was him. You know, he was the one that was the aggressor and it was self-defense, but he did. Absolute in-memorium real at the Academy Awards level acting here. totally going for it with this story of regret and blood and tears. I tried to save him.

I tried. He was your brother. I'm sorry. AI is quick to extend forgiveness here. AI believes, and I think this is a notable moment, because I think we get several moments in this episode in the last, where AI tends to believe people when he's being lied to. It does.

Right? He's a little bit of a sucker. Yeah, so despite having a total fucking galaxy brain in many other respects. Yeah. You know, a bit like myself, I do kind of identify with him in this way. You know, I think I'm a fairly clever guy in a lot of ways, but a bit of a sucker. I think we all believe we have one special gift that sometimes comes at the expense of other more useful gifts. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. If we change the words, then it's fair use all day long. They hug it out. Like, you know, this is, I'm not mad. I'm disappointed, dad. But ultimately, we still have each other, and that's what's important. And we're back on the entrepreneur. This dude that Archer Keoughed is not an og, is reported by flocks.

He has no enhancements. and he introduces himself as Udar, aka Smyk. And if you're trying to imagine audio listener what this guy might look like, an augment without augments, as you put it, he's got a real Frodo face, I thought. Yeah, there is a problem with this episode where so many of the augments are, like they all have the same hair. and the same, like, ripped up goth, augment clothes. I was having a little bit of a tough time remembering which one was which from scene to scene. Yeah. But this guy, I did not confuse with any of the other augments.

No. His friends, friends I put in quotes, call him smike, because that is the name of a character in the hit, classic, tome, Nicholas Nickleby. Are you familiar with this book, Ben? I have not read Nicholas Nickleby. I mean, I was, I was, here's my theory. If Star Trek Enterprise had been made in a post-greatest-gen era, if it was, for example, a streaming show on Paramount Plus,

this character would be named Lenny as a subtle nod to our show. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, these friends he describes don't seem nice. Actually, I should walk that back. If your friends come up with a cutting nickname for you, that is also a literary reference like this, Does that kind of take the sting out of it? Because it's so nerdy.

It's very nerdy. Who's the bad guy in this story? The one who they call Smyke or the ones who came up with the name? You know what would have made it really clear is if Archer had been like, oh, like the guy from Nicholas Nickleby and he'd been like, oh, what? They told me no one would get that reference. That it was just between me and my friends. Why doesn't Star Trek do shit like that sometimes? That's such a Tim Robinson reaction.

Like that is a modern Tim react. Archer wants to pump this dude for information, but he isn't going to give anything up. And he's like, you know, my brothers and sisters are the world's greatest badasses and nobody can stop them. Whatever they're doing, don't even try. Yeah. I mean, I'm also not going to help you because you're from Earth. Yeah. I have very strong anti-Earth sentiments.

You should know. He's an anti-earthite. Yeah. We had a call from Tripp down on the surface who's looked through some of the databases, I guess, I discovered that the stuff that they unplugged was a bunch of artificial wombs. Hmm. So. Hmm.

Well, now if you're an audio-only listener, You might have an idea about what those look like. Just to let you know, go with your fourth or fifth idea on that one. Malik and Persis have a little conversation about how weird it is that Sue doesn't want to just go down to this planet and murder everyone when they get to Cold Station 12. A sexy conversation about this, I should say. They're rolling around in bed together. The only time you do this. of pose in bed is after you bust together.

This is post-bust pose, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Do you think augments can just go again? Oh, yeah. I think when we're going down the list of things to augment genetically, the ability to go again. Refractory period that's like five or six seconds long. I mean, we were talking moments ago about, like,

ways in which we are great, in quotes, at the expensive ways that we are not, I mean, what wouldn't you sacrifice for pushing this slider up to the max? I mean, personally, I would, my choice would be never stop coughing would be like what I would sacrifice. How about new?

I mean, that would be a good thing to augment. I'm still thinking about sexual augmentation, though, and I'm wondering if volume could be one of the things, like you just produce a lot more. Uh-huh. What is that called bust maxing? I read about that on something lately. I have not read about bust maxing, but tell me more.

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter. There is a probably astoundingly small population of the internet that is interested in maximizing what comes out. And there are all sorts of vitamins and stuff that you can take to experiment in this way. not that I was looking up any of this personally this is not a problem that I have personally I'm just saying like you know when you do your scrolling and sometimes random they hired you to come in as like a guest speaker to give them some tips right sure much like A.I. Sung does in the classroom very inspiring speech I gave these are all people that's a scary movie two at a very impressionable age and it unlocked something in them I

bust a normal amount both in terms of amount of times and amount of volume. There's nothing abnormal about either of those things with respect to me, okay? All right. Well, maybe... Can we just put that issue

to bed completely? I think there has been a special sub forum on the Discord of people discussing this, so maybe we can just delete that whole thing. All right. That's what I'm going to do right after we stop recording. Anyways, there are a little weirded out about the way dad is not a bloodthirsty maniac anymore but not so weirded out that

they don't want to have a little bit more sex i think a big problem they talk about in this moment is like malick thought he was going to be the leader after killing his brother and now fucking dad's home again yeah like is he going to have to kill him too like that seems to be the subtext here augments should be led by augments i want to listen to this he's making moves to become a leader and he's He's being thwarted at every turn. Have you seen that guy bust? It's like almost nothing. It's like a teaspoon.

I mean, it's another scene where you don't know what side purses is on, except dick. There's a McLaughlin group. Issue one. Abort the Bridge of the Entrepreneur where we learn a little bit more about Cold Station 12. It's one of these high security labs where they have. have, like, copies of this smallpox virus and shit like that. Archer has a pretty fun introduction to his presentation about the station. He's like, uh, into the file, we'll delve cold station number 12.

I like it. I think it's good. I spent a lot of time looking up words that rhyme with 12 Very few Very few to make a song out of rhyming with 12 Shelve Kind of a slant rhyme Oh, I don't get that reference, Ben

That seems like something you shouldn't say That's a slur against a type of wordplay Jesus Yeah, I don't know my My mind just didn't go there, Adam. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, there's 1,800 augment embryos there, and, you know, there's, like, there were, like, weird feelings at the end of the Eugenics Wars

when they had all these augment embryos, like, what do we do with these? And it seems like a lot of the, like, reconstruction after the Eugenics Wars involved freezing people and things that were inconvenient to deal with at the time. Yeah. How about that? Do not destroy. They just kick the can, the frozen can down the road to deal with later. Sexual icon Admiral Forrest has authorized any force they want to stop AI suing in his plan here.

So good. There's something about like in the action movie or like the movie about the danger of nuclear war where there's like something more specific than any force. Like in Crimson Tide, I think Gene Hackman says, like, the authorization for nuclear weapons is confirmed or whatever. And there's such, like, a specificity, there's, like, an official terminology there that I really admired. Yeah. Any force just doesn't mean anything to me. Yeah. Like, lethal force, I would have preferred. But they don't say that word here. I mean, that's just sexual icon, Admiral Forrest, trying to keep his hands clean, right?

You know what? You're right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all calls are being recorded when sexual like on Admiral Forrest is concerned, right? They wipe out everybody at this complex or facility or whatever, and he's like, whoa, what did you guys do that for? I just said, like, go stop him. I didn't say kill everybody. Archer's like, I thought you said cancel Felicity. So that's what I did.

Legally, it's just a fart joke. You will never take. Take the greatest chin alive Ben would rather die Cut to the denobulant ship Barzai. It is what you imagine it looks like on board. Yeah.

Have very soft tones. A lot of beige's. Very warm looking. They get a distress call from the cargo ship Corsair and they're going to go help. Oops. The cargo ship Corsair was in fact the Clingon bird of prey.

and this was a trick for the augments to get their hands on a denobuline medical ship that would look perfectly innocent approaching Cold Station 12. What would you think of new Star Trek if Federation starships look like the interior of denobulen ship Barzai? I think it changes the whole game. Yeah, yeah. If it's just muted tones and like natural colors and warm temperature light bulbs. The cool clinical nature of Starfleet bridges in New Trek, it's not my Star Trek, you know? We grew up with a carpeted bridge with wood accents, you know?

Maybe I want a bridge where it would be a very bad thing to spill blood there. Like where you do everything you could to stop that from happening. It's just a little too easy to use a squeegee in New Star Trek, isn't it? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's why eyeballs are popping out left and right. I know, I know. Over in Six Bay on Enterprise, Archer goes to see about Smyke. And Dr. Flax gives him a clean bill of health.

Archer also has some news for the doctor about Dr. Jeremy Lucas being over on Cold Station 12. And this news does not sound great to Dr. Flax when he gets it. You see his face, he does not look happy. This is Flax's homie. What he asked for after hearing it is that he wants to go along on the Dust Buster Club when it's time. And Archer agrees. We also learned that flocks used to work at Cold Station 12. It's like how many people didn't work at Cold Station 12? Maybe that's the number that we should be looking for. Yeah, I wonder if they keep their lanyards on a lamp or something in their office. Like somewhere

in there, they got a Cold Station 12 lanyard. They could probably try using as a swiper, right? Yeah. Let's bring it down, like, just see if they haven't changed the codes, flocks. Mike gets the coveted captain's mess invite. Pretty nice. We do not see the reaction of other crew people to this being extended. You know? It would have been nice if Mayweather had been like off in the corner like, what?

What? Just like being back in the womb. Who are you? In some Travis Mayweather. Parents must be very proud. When I was a kid, we called it the sweet spot. Who are you? I'm the helmsman.

I guess growing up a boomer has its advantages. And your mom, very proud. That's true. Takes practice. Other than keeping Anthony Mayweather up at night, I'm not sure what we expect to accomplish here. Especially when we see later What's for Dinner? Is that all the beef on board? Steak was enormous.

They're not quite dare steaks. They're not like man versus food size, but they're further in that direction than you would think. It sounds like something John Candy would struggle to eat in a movie. until he gets to the gristle and fat part. So the barzai, the ship that they stole, sneaks into Cold Station 12, and Persis walks around the corner to the Federation security dude

who is standing in front of the door into the lab. And he's like, you're not denobulin? And she's like, I know. And uppercuts him in a way that causes his body to do a three, 360 backflip. Amazing, right? This guy's fucking jaw is in a billion pieces, right?

How do you set up the jerk cable to make this happen? I don't know. It's got to be on the floor, right? It's on the floor and then you tuck back to... Is he like... Or no, it's on the ceiling, but the cable goes through your, through the front of your crotch to your back so that you can... So that it pulls you up like some kind of weird wedgy.

Like it pulls the back of your pants forward so you can spend. around, right? I was thinking maybe he's in some kind of rig where he can pivot at his hips and just spin ass over tea kettle. Right. So that would be the center of gravity. Yeah, because he goes like, we see his head and then his feet and then his head again. It's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. They beat up a bunch of these guys and they are in. And soon gets on a computer and initiates Protocol 69. Nice. Which we learn about what that means over the course of the next scene. We finally get to meet Dr. Lucas. What a fun reveal.

I have people skills. I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand it? That it is Richard Real is the best. Never would have pictured it being Richard Real in a million years. I'm really, really real he excited that he is the guy. Real pain for my jam friends. Champagne for my real friends.

How much of his life do you think he went through with people, like, in an appointment context, you know, saying, Mr. Really? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You can come on back? Like, I bet his last name has been mispronounced so often over the course of his life until he got famous. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why you get famous if you're a Richard. You know, there are people in this world that don't have to put up with all this shit. Yeah, one of the greats. Really great to see him. Anyway, he's told about the security situation elsewhere on Cold Station number 12. What he should be concerned about is the gas situation as it comes pouring through these ceiling vents. What the hell? Knocking everybody in this room out.

Cold. Station 12. In the captain's mess, it's just. Giant Steak and Potato Dinner Time, totally uncommented on by a dude that you know has not had a proper meal for 11 years. He's been eating MREs. He's been alone for a really long time, too. Like, ever since Rakeen and them left, he got left behind because he was a weakling

and he wouldn't be, you know, he wouldn't be able to keep up with them. I keep calling Rakein, like a monster. It's going to be very confusing for people. I think you might be right. I don't remember how they pronounce it. Anyways, Smike is like, oh, so you're taking me to jail, right? And Archer's like, you have got Earth all wrong. Like, we're not like that. I don't know who told you that. Maybe that Tsung guy. Anyways, like, here's a picture of your dad, a geophysicist who looks like John McAfee. This is a terrible picture, right? They had to use any picture but this. it looked so photoshopped for no reason like why couldn't you just have a regular picture of a regular looking person and not a strange heavily photoshopped picture of a very strange looking person any photograph inside the frame that you get from a drugstore has a more realistic looking picture than whatever the fuck this is yeah he's like we have a lot of information in our computer about your parents. For example, here's your father, and he shows him a picture of like a black and white picture of a Dalmatian puppy. No spots. No spots at all with a hurried little white rat.

Look, greatest trek and greatest Jen, both friends to the art department, always have been. But I want to say, like, we're also honest enough to call it like we see it, you fucked up on this one. This picture's bad. Very weird. Flax and Archer have a conversation about whether the ban on genetic engineering that happened on Earth after the eugenics wars was a good choice or not. Because the denobulins are like very pro-genetic engineering. They never had anything like the eugenics wars. And they talk about, you know, whether human technology outpaced human ethics, basically. Also, Dr. Flax, what's up with all the food, dude?

He's so much food on his plate. In the very same conversation when they are talking about, heavy shit. Dr. Flock seems to admit that he's in a one-person gainer relationship with himself. I'll tell you the truth. I'm not very hungry. I am the feeder and the gainer. I am the feeder and the gainer. I Obama did that again. Why do I keep doing that? I mean, why wouldn't you? Yeah, at this point. Clark syndrome. Did you know what Archer's dad died of? That was it. Oh, Clark syndrome. What if genetic engineering were allowed at the time that could have saved his life,

then we would have just a sickly sweet father figure on the show from time to time, giving us cavities once every six episodes when Archer talks to his dad. I think we're better off without him. Hi, Jonathan. It's real good to see you. Here at the Warp 7 research facility, we've just been, we've all been, been pulling real hard for you. Every time he's on screen, he's asking Jonathan if he was a good dad. I mean, I told you last week that I, yeah, you, but the more you ask, I got to say, like,

that answer may change. Makes me wonder if there's something you worry was like a majorly fucked up choice you made. And I'm trying to think of what that could have been. That is yet to be revealed to me or that I've not uncovered yet. I just want you to know that there were certain things that your mother and I tried to hide from you for your own safety, and that may or may not have been the right choice. But we just love you a whole bunch around here. It's good faith to believe

I can do parity A bit of an impasse at Cold Station 12 Because Dr. Lucas is not given up access to the embryos He claims he doesn't even have the code But Soong, he used to have Dr. Lucas' job He knows that that guy gets the codes to go into the embryo room And yet Soong believes him

through some sort of I don't know professional courtesy or Yeah we had an embryo heist It does seem like reasonable to assume that they would like Change some of the rules about how you get in at the embryos If we had an embryo heist

To borrow my friend's Term the station wasn't just going to throw its legs up in the air Like this This was going to be challenging at some point Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm guessing probably the Louvre has, like, stronger windows now that the crown jewels have been stolen from it. Like, they probably do something to prevent that kind of thing from happening again. Absolutely.

So the entrepreneur is entering the system, and we get a face-time confrontation between Archer and Sue. And Archer's like, well, this is the end of the road for you, assholes. And Soong is like, not so fast, Archer. we've got hostages! This is why you cast a Richard Reel here. Because who do you care about the most among this rabble? Richard Reel. Yeah, yeah.

So when he's brought out forward, like out of the cell. Yeah, holding up a copy of the day's newspaper, saying that they haven't been hurt or whatever. Yeah, I mean, you definitely don't want to see him shot in the face, point blank from a Klingon Disruptor. No one wants to see that. There's a lot of face and head mass to work with there, right?

Yeah, I mean, he's no Brian Denahey, but like this is going to make a big mess, and Sue is conscientious of that. If you're Richard Reel and you're hearing this dialogue, are you taking this a little bit personally? Like, God. I mean, I know I am a hit star of stage and screen Richard Reel, but like my head isn't that outer proportionate.

with the rest of my body, is it? I mean, I'm no Denahey. No, no. Archer has to turn Enterprise around at this point. I'll stop. The only face time Archer is having, after he does, is sad face time. Yeah. His.

Hmm. So, Malik discovers that Dr. Lucas does, in fact, have the code to the embryo chamber, because there's, like, records of him going in there in the system. And meanwhile, they're also figuring out that, like, the algorithm that, like, the algorithm them that one guy wrote to crack the code may take a little longer than they anticipated. So they're getting stressed out about this situation and on the entrepreneur, a huge away team gets ready to beam over. Like more people that have been crammed on this transporter pad in the history of the show

so far. We speed right past how significant this moment is because you can't tell me anyone on that pad isn't a little uncomfortable. like it's that it's like when the elevator doors open and there's already 14 people inside you've kind of want to take the next transport don't you yeah like nobody fart yeah oh also like trip has tweaked the transporters ahead of this in order to go the great distance necessary to get to the station I'm not going on this one I'm definitely taking the next one I don't like it Malick has decided to try to beat the codes out of Dr. Lucas and he's a total G he is taking this beating and not giving anything up

I mean have you seen the head on this guy yeah he's got that like Homer Simpson thing where he's like his brain is padded within an extra layer you better watch your mouth talking about real like this I'm just saying his character does

oh right okay okay yeah so they're like okay well well he's He's standing up to torture pretty good, but maybe if we throw one of his little buddies in a agonizer booth and expose them to a very painful death in the form of one of these pathogens that they also have at this facility. Was it a felicity? I believe it was a compound. No, it was a facility. Okay.

No, it was a felicity. Yeah. Maybe he'll talk then. This is the power of Richard Reel. We don't know this fucking random doctor being put in the agonizer. All we see is the expression on his face to tell us how we're supposed to feel about it. And even though his eye is swollen shut and he's covered in blood, like, I got the sense that this guy shouldn't die. Mm-hmm.

They have a real closeness. Closer than friends. Closer than family. Yeah. And I will let him go. So meanwhile, the Dustbuster Club is. sneaking around, they triple stun an augmented guard, and they realize

that their phasers are kind of nerve relative to the superhuman strength of the augments. There's an amazing line where Richard Reel says, you son of a bitch to AI suing, and he says, my mom

wasn't a bitch, she was a chemist, and they dump the pathogens on Lucas's colleague, and he suffers a horrific painful death did you want because we do a lot of cutting back and forth

between the Dustbuster Club in darkness outside of this lab setting and what happens in the lab and I really kind of wanted some sort of way to bridge the two like where the urgency to the Dustbuster Club would be made so via

seeing or sensing through sensors someone dying in there or being poisoned or whatever like something to hasten the urgency but like when we because we have no idea like where they are relative to that room like they're you know they're messing with life support and stuff but it's like it's not really clear like what affects any of this is going to have in the immediate term i found this sequence like strangely numb compared to what it could and should be given the stakes and what's happening like because we keep going back and forth from great great

stakes to I'm just going to shoot out a panel here and mess with some wires. Like, see if we can't affect some change to the life support system that way. Like, I would much rather one of them is watching closed circuit television on a screen of a guy coughing blood into his mouth to, like, yeah, goose what's happening. Yeah, I think they missed an opportunity there. Lucas completely resists this tactic and this dude is on the verge of death. At soon tells Malik, like, hey, okay, give him the anti-serum so that he doesn't actually die. And Malik's like, what the hell, Dad? I want to do.

Do it! No. That's too late. Dang. Maybe if Malik didn't resist, this guy wouldn't be RSVPed, but he is. RSVP, this random doctor. Cut to the Dustbuster Club, they are completely unaware that this has happened. What they do know is that Smyke has.

one X-Man power and that is kind of like better I won't say super hearing I won't even say advanced hearing maybe hearing that is not damaged from years of concert going and wearing in ear headphones or whatever like I think maybe that's as far as I'll go yeah he's pretty good at listening to stuff and he can hear that the augments are coming and they get the drop on the away team and immediately destroy all of their communicators, which signals to the crew of the enterprise that the away team has been captured. Yeah.

We get the reunion of Flax and his buddy Dr. Lucas. They haven't seen each other in years. What are you doing here now? Nice that he's allowed to try to fix him up. Dr. Flax can't be resisted, his instinct to help. No. To deliver aid. You also get the reunion of Udhar and Soong, and Sog is really happy to see him.

Weird that he didn't ask around about him. Like, he asked about Rakhine a lot, didn't ask about Udar. It's nice that Dad doesn't call him Smyke. That was just for his bully friends. Yeah, yeah. Right? His bully friends who banished him because he wasn't strong enough. Yeah.

He's like, but my hearing. I told you about my hearing, right? And they're like, what are you talking about, dude? We got the hearing thing covered. It's like the Jerry Seinfeld joke. Like, I'm not a leg man, I'm a tit man. I have legs. Yeah.

Nobody needs Smyke's amazing sense of hearing. I won't cease or desist. Because you really think it's fair use. Alert sound. Enterprise is on screen and Archer in that split second tells them to execute their orders. What could that be? Orders in this case switching on self-destruct for ice station number 12. This is the moment, Ben, that Archer becomes a real starship captain, I thought.

Mm-hmm. It finally happened. On Enterprise, they start hitting the switches to make it happen. Yeah. 10 seconds is the countdown, Ben. That is sporty. Hoshi transmits the code, but a feedback pulse kills their comms and aborts self-destruct. And Tupol's like, all right, we'll just nuke the site from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure. Fucking A. She seems very excited to do this. Yeah. So back in the lab, Sune is gloating about how the self-destruct sequence didn't go. and Malick reveals that Lucas and Flocks know each other. And so Flock's might be even more persuasive in the agonizer booth.

So they put Flax in there and they go, what do you think now, Lucas? You're going to give us those codes? This is his limit. He will. He does know how the codes go. He types them in, gets them into the embryo chamber. Ben, I wanted just a classic Dr. Flax puff up

when he's in this chamber, right? We're told he puffs in times of danger, in times of aggression. How is this not either of those? It seems like it would be a perfect time. And it would be extra funny because his puff would like push against the glass walls of the cylinder.

He'd have to go out sideways through the cylinder door. Ah, come on. Do bits. Stupid Star Trek. I'd forgotten about the bird of prey. had you, like, that being still a thing out there? We remember when it starts firing on Enterprise.

Yeah. And then it's revealed that they left only black characters on board the Bert Frey. Yeah. Very strange detail. Yeah. Anyways, the entrepreneur is really going to have to fight for this nuking from orbit. Flax is released and they're like splitting up. They're like, okay, like the augments are going to grab the embryos and go.

Smyke, you're coming with us. And he's like, I don't know. I think I might stick with these guys. This moment I found pretty touching. And I think this is because of Brent Spiner. Like the way he can shift gears between being lore-like and being this caring father. Yeah. In this moment, I thought, was just really well done.

I believed him is what I'm saying. Like sometimes you'll get a character like AI Sung in these last few episodes. you're like at any moment like here comes the knife to stab someone in the back so far he's been like he's been a guy who doesn't want to kill or want other people to kill on his behalf he's been kind to people yeah he's he cares for for this flock that he's created he is just iconoclastically devoted to the idea that the ogs should be free yeah and is like faithful to that in every action and that like smike wanting to go with the entrepreneur doesn't threaten that at all so he's Like, go with God.

You've got my blessing as a daddy. The part that really sold Dr. Soon in this moment. And the moment that I knew that he was being sincere was when he embraces his son, tells him to like, go, be free, go, go on, go with, get out of here. I don't want you. But then when life as a highway plays afterwards and then we go to the credits. Yeah. I kind of like Goudar's chances.

He was throwing a parker roll at Udar at one point. This thing's getting hard when they're stale. They do, yeah. Tepal is not going to let this Klingon ship scare her off. She focuses all of their energy on targeting the facility. And so there's like bangers getting dropped on the Felicity while Tsung and one of the other ogs like enter the embryo storage room. And he's like, he's all wistful about it. He's like, ah, your embryo was over there and Persis' embryo was over here.

Very weird shot because they created this entire room digitally. Yeah. But, like, I don't know, like the dolly move isn't quite smooth enough to sell that they're actually standing in it. And the render is just not that great. Like, very strange Star Trek moment. Especially because the lab is so realized as a place and with so many different. areas and I don't know it seems like maybe it should have been dressed like that like just make this a part of that somehow yeah like lock behind some sort of a vault style door you're telling me

you can't get your hands on the embryo chilling towers from Jurassic Park and like repaint them and put some some Federation looking computer logos on them yeah that's what you should do yeah Telling me you can't get like 200 bank teller containers. Hit them with a bunch of silver spray paint. There you go. Load them up into some holes in a wall. You're good. Good to go.

Malik decides that he wants some insurance. So he downloads a bunch of smallpox samples and things on their way out. There's so many infectious diseases he downloads. And then Persis is like, what's this container? I don't recognize it. Malik looks at her and then looks at the camera and is like extra strength Tylenol. You know, because like a lot of things got revealed in the future, like, for example, that being bad. Oh, so that's how Udar got to be the way he was? Okay. I get it.

Well, you know, like his mom had some during, his artificial womb was administered some extra strength Tylenol. his gestation. Yeah. Yeah. So they're going to put all the prisoners in that one room that they were, that the hostages were locked up in so that when the site gets nuked from orbit, they all die. Which is a little bit against Soong's whole thing. But that's what they're going to do.

And there's another banger and Archer uses this as an opportunity to like knock a gun out of a guy's hand. And they're like struggling to try and take over. And I thought it was interesting that Smyke tried to help in this moment. Yeah, yeah, me too. Unlike the punches that worked before in the Felicity, these punches don't seem to faze Malik at all that Archer reigns on him. Archer really gets his ass kicked and eventually Malik gets the gun and shoots Smyke of all people.

Yeah. RSVP Smyke. Ben, I think the answer to. of this is evident, is Archer the captain who gets his ass kick the most in Star Trek? Of all the Star Trek captains. Yeah, I think he gets his ass kick the most.

I don't think it's even close. Yeah. He's always getting his ass kicked. Yeah. Yeah. The augments escape in their medical shuttle. Yeah. Lucas says they can stop the containment breach if only somebody can get to the primary junction,

which is somewhere else in the Felicity? I don't know. Anytime on Star Trek a main character does something having to do with going up a long ladder, I'm just kind of prepared to be disappointed and maybe a little

offended at what happens during. I just like the idea that, okay, well, there's a bunch of us here and we need to do something at the primary junction. Let's send one of us. Yeah. Also, make sure

that one is the one who just got his ass kicked. Probably having a hard time closing a fist at this point. Something you'd want to be able to do. Around a ladder rung, you know. Yeah. To be continued. What? What?

Ben, did you know we're in an arc right now? Until this moment, we're in an arc. We're in an arc. A nine-episode arc, of which this is its second episode. Oh, really? is this is, because I saw 1, 2, and 3 next to the names of the episodes

but, uh, wow, that's shocking. Arc 1 is Sungs Augments, where in 2 of 3 there's a maybe arc over-arcing both of these, which is just called the Augments, and this is episode 2 of 9 of that.

Wow. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. You got arked, Adam, but did you like this episode? I can't pay. for late Got no case I think this episode has to Make you get to know the augments as people

But I think it's unfortunate that they are so uninteresting Compared to Soong and Dr. Richard Real And anyone else involved Like I wish I cared a little bit more about Malik And Persis But there's just kind of nothing there Except a struggle for power where I think there is an attempt to make this issue more complex,

but the ways we do that is to give those opinions to Archer and Flocks in the lunchroom. Right. Like, we don't have the augments speak for their own circumstances ever or that much. And I wonder if, like, at the conclusion of this arc or the larger arc, someone's going to say something more profound about that. But, like, it's weird in an arc that's about augments. I feel like we know so very little about them or what they want besides to fly around in a bird of prey doing gangster shit with their friends. Yeah, I mean, we understood what Rock Hayden wanted to do, but less what Malik wants to do.

Like, is he a genocidal maniac? Does he want to eventually get back to Earth and conquer it? Yeah. Like, what's his goal? him being so unpredictable I think is the thing that makes him interesting because he's so willing to kill and he clearly doesn't like his dad as much as everyone else you talking about the scene where Dr. Lucas

is resisting giving up the code while his colleague is killed and that having been a missed opportunity because the away team isn't aware of it while they're doing their parallel action somewhere else in the complex I think laid something bare about this episode to me

like this episode is directed by Mike Vihar who directed a million billion episodes of Star Trek like starting with TNG and good ones and I think in TNG they would have been more focused

on the like ethical perils of that moment and how you grapple with making a decision like that do I give these maniacs the thing that they want or do I, you know, it's a trolley problem, but like, a very interestingly Star Trek-y one and the element of pain being something that's discussed.

Like, oh, like, let's pick a, let's pick a pathogen that really fucking sucks the way it kills you. Yeah, yeah. It's a choice that they make. Yeah. And I wish that hadn't been kind of an afterthought of this episode. I wish the episode has sort of been about that in a way because it's, you're right. It's like the centerpiece, like, exciting dynamic. two things are happening at once seen in the middle of the episode and it feels like yeah can't two

things be dangerous like in an existential way yeah i like where you're going with this like this could have been outbreak on top of this story yeah yeah so and i guess it is to a lesser degree because malick is going to take a few of these but yeah like if if you'd had quentin tarentino do punch up on this script somebody would have said something about how like cold base 12 is uh the bull that protects the federation from the, like, microbiological genocide that something, something, something. And, you know, like the import of their work and the risk of their work getting out into the, you know, a lab leak situation happening. Richard Reel, like, rolls his head up into consciousness and he's like, Dr. Flux, do you prefer the Kirby Silver Surfer or the Mobius Silver Surfer? Yeah, exactly.

Dr. Flex is like, I am familiar with both. I thought it was a little bit strange that they made her a girl in the new movie. I haven't seen the new movie. Yeah, I think it's like it's an episode that felt like it had a lot more potential than it realized. There you go. Yeah. Always realizing the potential of any episode. Ben, a priority one message, maybe even two of them.

Let's see what we got over in our inbox. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel. You need a supplemental income. Supplement. Supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Howdy fellas, I'm here for the TGG bump.

I write queer cowboy books set in a fantastical world. The player, Tales of Zeppish by Tiernan Patrick McCantowy, is available now on Amazon.com where cowgirls wield golden ray guns. We follow Rush Grimshaw, The Player, a complex bisexual black man haunted by ghosts that won't leave them alone. I hand drew a map of the landscape in the front and hid a glossary of secret details in the back. I'm very proud of this, and I hope you enjoy.

Ben Cisco drop Wow you gotta buy this book Unbelievable This fantastical world We only got a small piece of here in the description I'm fascinated by this book I gotta check it out It's called the player

Tales of Zepish I feel like that's like searchable right If you just type in Tales of Zepish Zepish is the word you should search for Yeah Z-E-P-I-S-H Ben, we got a priority one message here of a personal nature. It's from Afton.

It is to Hannah. Here's that message. Happy birthday to the best little sister ever. The birthday message from Ben and Adam that you got me this spring was a true delight. So I had to return the favor. Thank you for sticking with our Star Trek Sundays, even though you just hate Archer so much. I love living in the spinster sisters' bam with you and Wesley. a cat drop? I hate cats.

Go to West me. You're telling me the kitty cat? Chris Brinner drop. I'm Chris Brinner. Brinner information systems. You know, interface, operations, net access, channel 90. That Chris Brunner. Wow. We have been asked to send this message as close to the 10th of November as we could.

The 8th of November being Hannah. actual birthday. Okay. Little late on that one, but hope it was a great one for everyone involved. Sure do. Happy birthday. Sorry about Archer sucking. But he became a captain today, you know? You can think Archer sucks and still enjoy the show, right? I think so. You just recognize that he's bad and you make fun of him.

I think that the show kind of thinks Archer sucks, so... Yeah, yeah, I agree. We're definitely picking up what the show is putting down. Really appreciate all the folks that got a P1 today, and I hope folks in the future will get them. It is Maximumfund.org slash jumbotron to book yours today, and it really helps. Thanks. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk shmota?

Incredible. Drunk Shimoda! Gotta give it to my boy, Dr. Lucas. I love that they gave him a funny, real reveal. the way he turns away from the thing he's scanning at the beginning of his scene. Real reveal you saved until

the drunk Shimoda segment? That's amazing. What the hell is wrong with you people? I think everything he's in should have a real reveal because I'm always like, yay! Richard Real! You know? Like, have fun with it. Yeah. Yeah. Ben, there wasn't any chance my drunk Shimoda wouldn't be

Richard Real. Yeah. For the same reason. Just love scene him on screen. Can do no wrong. I forgive him for giving up how the codes go. Yeah, he had to break at some point. Everybody breaks eventually. Did you want to see Dr. Flock suffer a little bit? Would that have helped the anxiety of the episode? Because they stick flocks in there and we love Flax. Flox may be our favorite character, but like they don't even have him cough into his hand. Here's my theory. If they're making a room full of embryos, digitally

they might have been low on budget for this episode and if they're making flocks suffer they're making flocks's head blow up and that's probably

a very expensive special effect to accomplish in this era so I'm guessing that that's why it was not thus that's a great point faith of the fart

Ben what is thus is our next episode of this hit program we've got to find out what we're watching and how we're watching it yeah we sure do Adam one of those

is your job, but the other one is my job? Yes. The next episode is the sixth episode of season four. It's called The Augments. The summary is as follows. In defiance of their father, Eric Soong's augments, devise a heinous

plot against the Klingons, which will surely lead to intercellar war. Wow, so maybe we are going to get a little bit more about what makes Malik tick. I hope so. Maybe that'll help. Yeah.

in episode three of this arc. Ben, we're on kind of an arc of our own, aren't we, over at the game of buttholes, Rule of the Riker, Quantum Leap. Indeed. An arc that is hundreds and hundreds of episodes long. For now, our runabout is safely on square 67. By the time I roll this hunter-sided die,

we could be anywhere, though. Sure could. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Ben, I've rolled an 89 that puts us on Square 56. Tula! Did I win? Hardly.

On the doorstep of a mourn-hammered episode, but not quite on it. That means a regular old episode for you and me. Okay. Regular app. Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Not an augmented app for us. Always augmented is this show by the generous support of MaximumFun.org slash join members.

everybody that supports is the reason this thing can happen. Doesn't matter how much. It matters that you do it. I feel like we're the fathers of all the supporters, you know? Like I have that same sort of affection for a supporter of our show. You sure do. We've got to thank Wendy Pretty, who is the producer and editor of this program. It's kind of like the cool aunt of the supporters of our show, you know?

Yeah. God, how cool would Wendy be? As an aunt. Oh, my God. Cool as hell. Unimaginably cool. Yeah. You know, you're growing up.

Wendy's for sure giving you like a sip of Mai Tai with the like big family trip to Waikiki. Absolutely. She's teaching you about big dirty ring. She's teaching you about roller derby. Yeah. Giving you your first big dirty ring, which is like a smaller size big dirty ring for littles. Yeah. Yeah.

Great. Got to thank Rob Adler, our social media director and the editor of the greatest newsletter. Sign up for the greatest newsletter. It's really good. Grace Trek.com is where you can go to get that and find links to all of the stuff there. Also got to thank our peacetime consigliary, Phil Tilley, who is making hilarious trading cards

on the At Greatest Trek social media accounts. Adam Ragusea, with whom we collaborate on the wholesome podcast at patreon.com underscore wholesome. He made the parody theme music of this show, and Dark Materia made the original Picard song. With that, we will be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise, an episode of the greatest generation of Enterprise that, ooh, I hope it has another that guy in addition to Richard Reel. It does.

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