The Greatest Generation - Space Butthole Curriculum (DS9 S1E19)
Episode Date: February 19, 2018When a fundamentalist religious leader comes on board the station, Keiko inherits more than the wind. But when one of her husband’s wrenches goes missing, his work wife starts to keep him on his toe...s too. Who ate all the M&Ms out of the trail mix at the Craft Services table? What happened to the popsicle continuity in this episode? Does Neela want the jumja? It’s the episode where we teach the controversy.
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Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.
Hey friends of Disodo.
Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor
actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry.
If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join
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Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production
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they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't
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We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines
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Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show.
Here's to the whimmy's crew in Starfleet. Engage!
Welcome to the greatest generation, Deep Space 9, the Star Trek podcast about Deep Space 9 by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast.
I'm Adam Pranaka.
I'm Ben Harrison.
We are really close to episode 200, Adam.
Oh, I didn't know that.
What episode is this?
I think this is 197 of the greatest generation.
We'll have to do something special for 200.
Yeah.
And we may have to given the board gamification
of what season two is gonna be.
Yeah, oh, we're a fuck here,
because we should have it ready to go
for the beginning of season two, right?
Oh, we really.
Which is technically the end of this episode.
We really should.
We might have to record the app and then record the end.
Come back and record the end.
Yeah, I think that's going to be what ends up happening.
Adam, we were talking about the weather
before we got on the horn today.
Yeah. What are you looking at up there in Seattle, Washington, where you live?
If you were to guess any time between November and May about what the weather was going to
be like in Seattle, you'd be a winner just about every time if your guest was 45 degrees
in rainy. And that's what it is today. Hey, see that's kind of like my, that's my weather
sweet spot personally. I feel like that's like what I'm wired for. I spent a semester
studying abroad in Dublin, Ireland, and that's what we're kind of looking at a lot of the time, and I really liked it. I have a real hard time finding someone's weather sweet spot.
A lot of guys think it's a myth.
Let me tell you what I have learned, man.
It's not hail.
Try as I might to think that it's hail.
It is not.
What's it like up there for you?
I should say down there because clearly I'm above you up in Seattle.
Yeah, you're above a lot of things up there in Seattle.
Yeah.
I'm recording this episode on an 80 degree day at DEC.
Earlier this week, I guess.
80 degrees on February 1st.
Yeah.
Earlier this week, I posted just like a screen grab of the app on my phone
that tells me what the weather is going to be with a fuck this shit emoji.
And it was met with a lot of confusion.
Because I think most people who think that hot weather is good don't understand
that there are also other people that know that hot weather is bad.
I think I might be one of those people who who likes the hot weather.
Let's swap lives at them.
We're gonna find out what happens when two unpopular podcasters
switch lives for a week.
It's not life swapSwap, it's LifeSwap.
You guys can move down and your wife can start studying for the bar.
Hmm.
And uh...
Move up there.
My wife will start working at a major corporation.
You'll just be damp all the time?
Yeah, and I'll just be damp and happy.
I don't think either of us would like that. That's a, you're in the perfect situation for me
because I want to come and visit all the benefits
of a life in LA with none of the permanents.
Mm.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
It's a, it's the the purpose of it is really weighing on me right now.
Has it been a thing?
I seriously?
Well, I went to, I've started to see a therapist and I went to like my first session the other day.
And I think it's been like something I've been putting off for a lot longer than I
should have, but there was like an entire year of, oh, well, I'm moving to another state
soon. So I shouldn't start with somebody because it takes a long time to like get up and
running with a therapist.
Is it like seeing a doctor where your chart gets into a new therapist or do you just start fresh?
I think that there is not much in the way of metrics that they can make out of talk therapy. So,
you really do have to catch them up on who you be and what is troubling you. And I started going down the list of reasons
I had thought of for why I should probably be in therapy
over the last 10 years.
That's sort of a great question by a doctor, right?
Like, why do you think you're here?
Yeah, exactly.
And by the end of the session, she was like,
wow, this is a lot. Well.
Yeah, nothing super major, like no one thing is totally out of control, but uh...
I think my sesories are a little too major for you.
Enough that there's a lot of straws on this here camelback.
I can only think of a few times when hearing those words from a doctor would be a good thing.
How is this game going to work?
I was looking at shoots and ladders.
The rules are basically you roll a dice and then you get to go that number of spaces and
if it's a ladder you climb up to the next and if it's a shoot you fall down to whatever
it's connected to.
Well shoots and ladders was just the first game that came to mind that had that format,
but it couldn't be just as easily monopoly or any other game based on turns and moves
and dice.
But the idea that really sounded appealing to me was, I think, someone responded with
just a list of things that the squares could be that we could possibly land on.
Yeah, because there's a hundred squares in shoots and ladders.
And it's also, I believe, a game that has passed
into the public domain.
So we wouldn't have a-
So we could steal a board and repurpose it?
Yeah, but I also think that it would be really cool
if there was a board that had illustrations of things
that we talk about on our show.
Right, yeah, I agree. board that had like illustrations of things that we talk about on our show. Right.
Yeah.
I agree.
Maybe what we'll do is we'll come up with what the squares are and then make like a,
we could make like a Google spreadsheet that is publicly viewable that shows the
grid of squares and where you and I are respectively. But then maybe we could
throw it to the community if people want to take a stab at like drawing it or organize
a crowdsource where different people get different squares to draw, that would be really
cool.
I would argue maybe even more than half of the squares being nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It should be a unique experience when one or both of us lands on on a thing. I think that seems that seems like the right way to go because it turns the show into something else and I like the show as it that. I'm the Scalia of the next fuck.
You said it right the first time.
I think everyone knows that, Ben.
Does that make me the Clarence Thomas?
Because I just sit here going, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like I might be the Thomas
and that I so rarely laugh at your jokes
according to the people who write in.
Oh, like these are hurt, Adam.
Yeah, geez.
I just happen to be a stealthy laugher, that's all.
See, just then I was laughing a lot.
You'd never know it?
Yeah, a hearty laugh from Adam Pranika
never fails to disappoint.
A hearty blank from Adam Pranika.
That's just something you can use anytime.
This space intentionally left blank.
Yeah.
Do you want to get into the episode here?
This is the last episode of season one.
We've did it. It's the end of Season 1 of Deep Space 9, Ben.
It's Episode 19.
In the hands of the Prophet. No, of course you don't. We start with O'Brien trying to talk Kiko...
BULLOPS!
And to you, taking one of his popsicles.
Try one, you like it.
And she is not into it.
Too early for me.
As is her way.
I guess she's back from... There was like some...
explicit talk about how she was
taking the school kids to
bejure for a field trip, right?
At the beginning of the last episode
or was that like a couple episodes ago?
They're doing a lot...
Or they have done a lot of
exposition about where she be
at the beginning of a lot of episodes
that she's absent in.
They don't give the corresponding why is she here, information when she does show up.
Also, like, Sir Rock Lofton is a pre-credits name.
Like, he is a main cast character and he's missed several episodes and they've never been like,
Jake is back on Earth visiting his grandfather
or anything like that.
It's a great paycheck if you can get it for Sriracha Lofton.
Yeah, he's laughing all the way to the bank.
Yeah.
Well, one person who's not laughing Ben is Keko at the idea
of O'Brien having a work wife.
Yeah.
O'Brien's going on and on about Nila
and how great she is to work with,
and it's pretty innocent stuff.
She's even taught me a thing or two.
It's the sort of excitement you have
when you meet anyone new that you hit it off with.
Like, it's good to work with a competent person
and Keko being of varying amounts of competent
in a number of areas takes great umbridge with this.
Be careful who you share your jump job with.
Kiko is found a job where she's the boss
and doesn't really report to anybody.
So she doesn't really have any,
like she doesn't really have to rise
to any particular standard.
At the end of this scene,
she makes a wise crack that could be construed
in no other way than comparing O'Brien's dick
to a jump job hop.
Yeah.
If that's the truth,
he's got a pretty chowty-looking dick, right?
Yeah, a pointy chowd at that.
Yeah. Like you want itode at that. Yeah.
You want it to at least be pretty blunt at the end
if you're choddy.
Yeah, that's a hell of a flair on that bass.
Yeah.
So we cut to the classroom where Kiko's teaching
space butthole to the assembled students.
And it seems like what could be any other day in the
classroom. The kids are participating. Nog is not there for some reason. I guess he's
still homeschooling with Jake visiting his grandfather on earth. Oh, we know that. No,
I'm just saying that his grandfather's birthday party? Yeah, that's always the explanation.
Grandfather on earth. Yeah, the butthole class is going pretty well. The kids are paying attention.
You need to get your parents to sign a permission slip when there's the week of space butthole
curriculum going on in school, think and maybe that's why
that's why nog isn't there I don't think quarks gonna sign off on that yeah yeah quark is like I
You can learn plenty about a butthole right here in the bar
Just go up to one of the hollow suites. There's there's more butthole based material than
Then Kiko could ever teach you.
Take a bar stool next to Morn.
I'll tell you about all about the birds and the bees and the hammers.
Jake is a bit of a teacher's pet.
He's the only kid in class racing his hand and engaging with the material.
Unclear if that's just because he loves butthole or if he feels pressure as the station commander's
son to perform.
But he's in the midst of answering a question when Nurse Ratchet walks in to the classroom.
Yeah. She basically walks in holding a picket sign.
And it's like, don't mind me.
I'm just here for things.
The great Louise Fletcher.
Yeah, one of the great actors.
One of the great actors.
You talk about gravitas.
She's got it in spades.
She's got it in spades and she plays,
she plays person you love to hate better than almost anybody. I want to ask you about some costume
philosophy here with her wardrobe specifically. Her hat looks like her nose. And is that like an
overarching costume philosophy of the show? Like is that why Klingon Wardrobe is pointy?
And you'll see Bejorins with the scalloped hat look
as often as you do?
I think that she's just a big fan of Australian opera.
Yeah.
How could you not?
The one people that have really put their fingerprints
on opera is the Australians.
Right. Famous for their opera.
Have you ever seen crocodile Dum D, the opera?
Who wrote the libretto on that?
Matthew Barry, that's who.
Yeah, she takes a lot of umbridge at the way Keko is teaching butthole, because to the
Bedurans, the butthole is a sanctified place that is the house of their gods.
And Nurse Ratchet is a real hardliner on this, like she doesn't see it as like, you know,
we treat them as prophets and, you know, maybe they are, in fact, aliens, but they did make this
wormhole and we consider it to be the temple in our belief structure.
She is like, they are gods, it is a temple.
Calling it anything but a temple is insulting to the butthole. Yeah, I mean, Kekko's sort of on team, non-denominational butthole, and this woman is clearly Orthodox
butthole.
Yeah, like Kekko is pretty polite at first, but the conversation devolves into, you're
not teaching, you're not teaching these pejorian kids what what they should be taught and Kiko's like,
I'm teaching them the science on the matter.
You guys can teach them your spiritual beliefs on your own time.
That's not my job.
And then nurse ratchet's like, it is your job.
You're corrupting the minds of these children.
If you would just at least teach the controversy, and cake
was like, bitch, you don't even have a visitor's pass.
How did you even get into this school?
Did you check in at the front office?
Yes, I suppose, too.
You have to fill out that half piece of paper that they made on the Ditto machine that
they're still using.
It says what the make and model of your car is if you parked in the school parking lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, FedExWin is the proselytizing figure of this conflict.
And this is a fairly familiar type of person.
If you go to a rot concert, or if you go to a rock concert or if you go to a sporting event or if you really go to
anything where a large group of people groups of people are assembled. If you go to a corner near my
house on a Sunday. Yeah. Yeah. This episode is being set up as a inherit the wind. Who gives a shit edition?
After the theme song we find O'Brien fiddling around with his tools and he's hanging out with Nila trying to fix a
compartment and he
O'Brien's a guy that, that observed strict tool hygiene, like
in a modern factory environment, you're, uh, you're checking in and checking out tools.
And you'll see this a lot in these environments, like people will walk around with big key rings
full of checks with their name on them. And this is a real thing, like you'll put a check
in where you take the tool, that way the person with the tools knows where the tool is.
And this is not a thing that happened with O'Brien's tools.
I don't misplace my tools.
And he is none too happy when he sees, like, he's got that pelican case with a nice shadow box cutout of the tool and there's nothing in there.
Yeah, he does a little engineer explaining to Nila about how he's not the dude that is misplacing tools. And so it's really burning his toast that he doesn't know where this thing is.
Nila, by the way, has definitely been in the last three or four episodes.
She's a character that they have established. She's had you know, she is a character that they have
established. She's had speaking roles for at least a few of them. Yeah, a fairly
unique thing for a Star Trek program, but she was originally supposed to go back
several more episodes than even the Neelith that we get here. She was recast. Really? She was one actor early on, I think, in the pup episode.
Oh! Which is an episode I don't remember. The Forsaken was at it. I believe it was the four skin.
Right. And they had some sort of falling out with the actor is what I read. And so they recast her.
And then this is who we have here, this Nila.
That's pretty good.
You kept getting all the M&Ms out of the trail mix at the craft service
table.
Yeah.
Can't do that.
Got to save some for the gang.
Yeah.
This sort of establishes that our B story line is the mystery of where did the tool go.
I love the pitch for this in the room, like.
Yeah.
Now we've got this religious fundamentalist A story.
What do you say we do its exact opposite?
Hahaha.
Miles O'Brien just can't find his tools.
Where are my tools?
Cutton Deela, where'd your tool go?
Hahaha.
Rack into O'Brien.
Coming this summer, a comedy that starts wacky and gets grisly.
Miles O'Brien in bloody hell.
Wala.
Yeah, the mystery B plot definitely like gets gets a scarier and scarier as it goes on, but it really, it starts and it's just like, um,
if you are, as a television show, are challenging me to keep watching, try again.
Yeah, and the reason why is like, you could watch this episode on mute and know exactly who the bad guy is.
who the bad guy is. And be able to tell with startling certainty, what happens at the end, even.
It is not hiding anything.
Mostly because it sort of walks Nila in and out of scenes
throughout the episode that she really has no business being in.
Right. Yeah, she's always exchanging significant looks
with other people who are established to
be bad as though we're not going to notice.
Yeah.
Yeah, so this Vedic win situation is a problem that everyone can see coming.
Cisco, and then just color Vedic ratchet.
That really rolls off the tongue.
That would have been nice.
It helped us keep it straight.
Kira sort of comes out and rides for Vedic wind. She's like yeah you know what she's got some interesting points. There's so many Bajoran kids on the station. It's only right that a
Bajoran gets a Bajoran specific education. And Sisko is like you know, part of this whole project, W-slash-R-slash-T, deep-space-9,
is like finding common ground. And we're not going to find common ground if we're doing
Brown versus Board of Education of our classrooms. Like, let's keep the one classroom. No one's
happy with Kiko as the teacher. That is the one thing that we're both
an strict agreement on.
That's the curriculum that we are arguing about here.
But I still maintain that it should be one classroom for all.
The idea is like you teach your science
and the religious institutions will teach their version
of events, but when they're incompatible,
like creationism or whatever.
And it is sort of implied here that the bejorans don't have a big bang and evolution-based theory
of creation in their religion, which is like, man, I was like really on board for bejoran
spirituality a few episodes ago, and this episode makes me hate it.
Yeah.
So often it's the messenger for me though too, right?
Like there's nothing that's a big, that's a bigger turn off than a prostalizer to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, uh, it's like I would be into them, but they're friends are so obnoxious version of a religion.
Yeah.
Cisco says something really interesting here, which is like,
the whole idea of bejorins and federation occupying
the same station is to sort of audition them
for entry into the federation, right?
And like, if this were a Vulcan station that federation people
were occupying, like, wouldn't this be the same problem?
Like, the Vulcans are logic orthodox,
and yet they get along just fine.
And it seems to me,
like those governing philosophies are just as incompatible
as stones in a butthole,
are to the Kekoscience curriculum.
There's been a couple of times where like Vulcans that, I mean there was that episode
where that Vulcan spy lady was building the weapon that makes you die if you're not dispassionate and rational.
Yeah, I guess we've seen that before. You're right.
Yeah, but I mean, I think I honestly think like this is a thing for the show that is good
because it sets up this like really detestable villain.
But it's also like disappointing because I kind of had the
bejurines as being a little bit cooler about how the cosmos works than they turn out to
be here.
Yeah, and like I never I didn't like I didn't dislike kaiopaka at all. Like she was, yeah. Chill is fuck.
Like I would, I would totally ride for whatever she's putting forward
as a spiritual practice.
Kayo Paka really felt like a cool pope,
like the pope that drinks.
Like who would have a beer with you?
Like, right.
I'm gonna wash some feet and have a beer.
Like that's Kayo Paka.
And, uh, and Vedic wind is just not like that at all.
She really considers herself to be the defender of the faith.
And she thinks it needs defending as much from federation
as it did from Cardassia or anybody else.
Let's talk for a second about how you establish protagonist
and antagonist specifically in this episode,
because you mentioned something that caught my attention
a moment ago about like establishing Vedic win
as the bad guy, where it really doesn't make the case
that what, like there's no corresponding case
for Keko to be the good person.
Keko is only writing for the control of her classroom
and the reason that she should be teaching
whatever curriculum she chooses,
but she never comes out and says that my way is right.
And I kind of wish that they did.
Like they never make the case for her side
other than professional, you know?
Like I wanted to hear her philosophical side and
I wanted those to be more opposed than just then just making win into an extremist.
It's one and done like she says you can teach that stuff in your own in your own spaces
to your own people but like the reason Keko shouldn't be teaching
Bajorin spirituality is also that she doesn't believe it. And also like the idea that the
Bajorins have a monopoly on truth is insane. And if the Bajorins want to be in the federation,
they should be able to abandon that kind of thinking. And maybe
this episode suffers from something that we suffer from in public discourse, which is
the idea that because somebody holds something as a religious belief, you can't interrogate
that or criticize it. And therefore, it kind of brings all discussions to a halt.
Like the reason your Israel-Palestine conflict is so intractable is because there are fundamentally
incompatible religious beliefs on either side of it that really can't be reconciled because
they are religious beliefs.
Right.
Right, and much like the Israel-Palestine conflict,
the episode itself does not really go all the way in adjudicating those factors. It is just
whether you are for or against Vedic winds deal. Yeah. The prophets definitely don't weigh
in on this one, which would be helpful both in the Israel Palestine thing and also here.
Like if the Godhead could come out of the clouds and settle the score, that'd be nice.
Also, Kaya Pak is still alive.
Does she not get to be Kai anymore because she is on that other planet with the people who can't die?
You have fighting with those guys with the people who can't die?
You have fighting fighting with those guys with the bad haircuts. That's probably that's a pretty bad deal for Kaiopaka
Right, like it's not like they couldn't get her on the FaceTime and do some conference calls, right? Hey listen a couple of questions
Something came up at the space station and we just love to get your opinion on it.
Pretty raw deal.
Does the Kai have infallibility the way the Pope does?
I don't know, I would like to know more about that.
Would you like to know more?
She's pretty infallible to me.
I dig her whole deal, especially compared to Vedic win.
Yeah.
Cisco goes down to like, you know, because Kiko comes and complains to Cisco and he's like, you know, because K.H.O. Cubs in complaints to Cisco and he's like, all right, I'll go talk to her. And he goes down to the Badger and Church and Vedic win is in there,
having a, having a meditate or something. And she does the whole thing where she like
gets her hand on his ear and tells him that he's a disbeliever and
his ear and tells him that he's a disbeliever and tells him that she was initially very disappointed that the person that the prophets selected to be their emissary was not even a majoring
much less a believer.
And that Opaqa had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had rang very true here to me. Like as part of Vedic winds backstory.
Like she seems fairly transparently into the idea
of being Kai, but also like talking
out the other side of her mouth about like,
oh, it's just what the prophets want, whatever.
Like I'm at their mercy, but really in action,
indeed, she is not leaving it up to the profits.
She's great at the politics of what she is.
Yeah. What are you doing now? I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, exactly.
Well, Adam, it's interesting, as all that is.
Let's check back in with where is Chief O'Brien's socket wrench?
The socket wrench thing is not just a gag because it's actually a little bit of a dangerous
tool.
It's like if someone took a flame thrower out of a toolbox,
like this thing could do some damage
and could fuck some shit up on the station.
It could even kill someone.
Yeah, so they got to find it.
And fortunately, the Federation makes its tools
out of a different material than the Cardassians
make their space stations.
So they were run a search for
titanium and they're they get some hits. It's a it's Nila and O'Brien and they get
they get a hit in the tool locker and then they also get another faint one in like a power conduit.
So they shut down the power conduit and like go go crawling through it
It's like a jeffery's tube and they find this tool like melted onto the floor
Yeah, like if if a tool could could bleed
This is sort of what it looks like, right? Whatever it was, it's been pretty well cooked.
And it looks like there's some biological residue in this molten pile
that O'Brien picks up on his tricorder.
Yeah, so they're going to figure out what that is.
Meanwhile, he's going to take Kiko out to a nice popsicle. They go up to the popsicle stand and offer to buy her one.
She says she's not into it and he says, okay, just one for me.
And the guy says, no popsicle for you.
The popsicles have changed on the little stand on the counter.
And did you notice the one in the middle is just a dong?
Like, it is, it could be nothing else,
but just a big old fucking cock.
Why did they have this popsicle continuity problem?
I don't know.
I mean, they're clearly being used
because like, naggy, some all the time.
Like any, any actually, like, licks him and eats him. There have to them all the time. Yeah. Like any, any actually like lixum and eat some,
there have to be a lot of these around.
They're made out of something edible,
is what you're saying.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, man, I really wanted to get the scene of O'Brien
kicking the shit out of the good humor, man.
This fucking Bedurin that sells these,
these popsicles is like the most glum person.
It wears like dark, dour clothing and has a totally dour effect.
Who sells popsicles and acts like that?
It's the book end to the scene that happens in the cold open though.
It's the same guy except he's happy and nice.
He's jolly good humor guy in the cold open
and you see the contrast you see what's happened to Kiko Kiko's become a pariah and you see her
through good humor man's eyes. Wait is he jolly in the cold open though? He's very friendly to
O'Brien and Kiko when they're talking. But he's still wearing like the black, velour, turtle neck.
Yeah, I mean, he's dressed for a funeral in both scenes.
Did you happen to notice if there were
googly eyes on that dog?
Maybe it was Odo keeping an eye on the situation.
Oh no, Odo shows up.
You can't, yeah, you do see Odo and the dog
in the same room at the same time, so.
Yeah. So there is,do and the dog in the same room at the same time. Yeah.
So there is, they've preserved dog continuity here.
Well, they keep, uh, yeah, Odo prevents O'Brien from kicking the shit out of the good human man and he and Keko continue their date by walking down the promenade and they find
And Keko continued their date by walking down the promenade and they find Vedic Ratchet crowded outside the school with a bunch of bejorns and she's explaining to the bejorns children
and their parents that she's here to do something about this problem, this Keko O'Brien
problem.
And she kind of makes a show of extending an olive branch, right? Your honor, where is this leading us? What has it got to do with a state versus Bertram Case?
And she kind of makes a show of extending it all of French, right? It's like, why don't we
just agree that you don't teach anything, W slash R slash T buttholes, and I'll back
off. Like, I'm happy to back down on that count. And Kiko is like, yeah, but what about when we get to evolution and, and, et
cetera, what then? Kiko is rightfully writing for the idea of, of her agency over, over
her job and her classroom. And she's getting upset. Yeah.
And I don't have to run my, my lesson plans by the religious leaders of a planet
that I don't even live on.
Vetic wind does that fucking thing
that makes me so angry though,
like that condescension of religious leadership,
which is like, I forgive you for being angry at me.
Like, like, oh, fuck you.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
It's so aggravating.
And then, like, at the conclusion of this argument,
she does that thing where she marches the protesters past,
Keko and Miles, like every student has to walk by them
away from the classroom in a very dramatic way.
I got an altercation at the dog park the other day
where I take the dog to the dog park a couple of times
a week usually and it's a very fun place for him to go,
but he's also not a huge fan of dogs
that are much bigger than him.
So sometimes we get there and I take a look
at the dogs that are in there and I say,
not today buddy. We went there this weekend and decided like the mix wasn't great but it was good
enough. But my wife had some treats in her purse so he kept coming over to like get some treats
and a bigger dog came up while he was like trying to get, trying to price some treats and a bigger dog came up
while he was like trying to get,
trying to pry some treats out of us
and he kinda flipped out at this other dog.
And it didn't turn into a fight, but it got close
and I got him under control and I was putting the leash on him
and we were getting ready to leave.
And the owner of the other dog was like,
it was like, get out of here.
Get your damn dog out of here.
Everybody was playing and it was fine
and your dog is too aggressive.
And it was that big.
The dog is too aggressive.
Was his dog park.
Like what if you just kept running into Vichy Prince guy?
Everywhere and all over.
Yeah, it was like, was it was totally that. Standard Poodle does not fight anyone. Yeah,
that Poodle smoke cigarettes. Who put you in charge of this movie theater Vichy
Prince guy and who put you in charge of the dog park? Right, yeah. We have not, we took our dog to the dog park last week and the one, the one thing that happened from that experience was
We realized our dog was not very great at responding to commands
Yeah, like and that's not a good that you can't have that in mixed company. And also our dog came back home and woke up very sore
because I guess our dog does not run full speed
for like 10 or 15 minutes at a time very often
and he was like limping almost
from being sore from running.
And I was like, that's my dog.
That's me.
Real fun.
Low muscle tone dog.
Yeah.
Really relate.
Yeah, I mean, this a wheat interior has most of its way
on its front legs.
It's very, very front heavy.
A top heavy boy. Yeah, yeah.
And even like when he runs down the stairs, his back legs barely touch the stairs.
He's like walking on his hands.
I used to know a three-legged dog who was missing one of his hind legs.
And two feet.
Was he in the shit?
Yeah, he was in there.
To pee this dog would do a handstand
and just walk around on his two front paws for a while.
Whoa.
And so he would just draw these like amazing snakes
of piss all over the sidewalk.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Life kind a way.
So this is like boiling over and it's become a big enough problem that it's Cisco's
problem.
And it seems like, it sounds like the Bejurent kids have basically been totally pulled
out of school.
So Jake has been attending classes with like,
handful of non-bejurian kids that are left.
And he's really confused about the whole situation.
And Cisco tells him about Galileo
and like getting burned at the stake
for advancing the Helio-centric model.
And, uh, Jake's like, do you think they're gonna burn Kiko
It just goes like well son we can only hope but anyways, I got it I got a fuck off to bejor
Yeah, and he kind of pieces out he gets a runabout and he heads to bejor
I love the idea that the commander of the station can take a runabout anytime you want
Yeah I love the idea that the commander of the station can take a run about any time you want. Yeah.
Yeah, he's got a full tank of unleaded.
He can fucking go.
What he does is he visits his old pal, Vedic Barrel, who is sort of like the cool college
professor, friend of his.
Like, that just got into gardening.
He's a real peacenick
He also is the voice of the PBS show front line
Oh That's not true, but I couldn't like once I was like this guy's voice is so familiar
It sounds like frontline narrator
Yeah, I
Was ready to believe it man. Yeah
Yeah, I was ready to believe it, man. Yeah.
Yeah, he's, Fedeg Beryl is more on the Opakka side of the spectrum in terms of where he's
coming from W slash R slash T beliefs.
And you know, like when we've had the conversation with Cisco
about how your interpretation of what the profits are
is totally a matter of perspective.
Like if you've grown up believing that there are entities
living in a palace in the sky that can see the future,
like the profits kind of fit that description.
And so it isn't totally insane to like fit them into your belief system.
But, you know, we have a different belief system and we can understand them to be aliens
that built this this wormhole and like we can use it for one thing and they can use it
for another thing and they live outside of time so they're hard to understand but that's what what we know them to be.
And it doesn't seem like Beryl is totally against that way of thinking but he also basically says like, Doug I am at the same level of my career as win and going to war with her now
Before the next guy is picked is basically career suicide, so I'm gonna have to sit this one out
I wish I could help you when he says it's it's up to the profits to decide his future
I believe him in a way that I that you just don't believe quen. Right. He's very live and let live about things. He's
very circumspect. Yeah, what he means is it's up to Marcus
Lemonus to decide his future. You are no longer the general
manager. In addition, you have to take a pay cut. Yeah.
To be quite honest about it, I've been a pair of fucking
the pay Mr. Bucket. I have to revert back to my state.
Mr. Bucket, I have to revert back to my dead state. Oh, I don't use the bucket anymore.
After this, continuing adventures of Nila and O'Brien move on, they're doing more investigation
on puddle of metal and whether or not it may contain the remains of a dead guy.
All science point to yes.
I'll say.
Yeah, their magic eight ball based investigation is starting to make it look like this is a foul
play.
And they have a big McLoughlin group here where the entire senior staff comes into the commander's
office.
And there's a really fun composition where you've got
Bashir and Dex, Odo and Keko and O'Brien all in the shot together.
I really like that shot.
I feel like you rarely get the lineup and profile like that on the show.
Yeah, definitely stuck out.
It's stuck out, and it's also kind of like a huker, like it goes from blue to yellow, stopping in the middle
at red.
It's a really great looking shot and really stuck out.
And it seems like they're starting to think that the two mysteries might be one mystery.
Like the mystery of why Vettek win is here, stirring shit up, and the mystery of why did
the Starfleet engineer disappear with the tool and get killed. And it's like, it's revealed that he died of a beam weapon. I guess they've
like been able to determine based on the residual matter on, on the tool that he was killed
first and then melted.
They clearly don't have that same sensor apparatus that they have on the ship in Star Trek 6 where they shoot
the mashed potatoes pot with a phaser and every alarm on the ship goes off.
As you know, Commander, check off.
No one can fire an authorized phaser aboard a star ship.
It feels like you could brandish and fire a beam weapon on Deep Space 9 and nothing's
going to happen.
It's going to sound like a blender going off at Quarx.
The cardacetons were running a real different kind of game.
Yeah.
It's in this scene in the next scene that it becomes clear that there's a real wedge being driven
in between Kira and Sisko, because Sisko is, as he always is,
trying to kind of tow the Starfleet line
and trying to investigate a murder
and keep civil society of Deep Space Nine going.
And she is real fired up about what win is advocating for here.
Sisko says all philosophies matter.
I'm not going to make the case,
I'm not gonna give special dispensation
to bejorin religious philosophy here,
because I think I'm welcoming everyone
under this melting pot of a station.
I can't just do that.
This station's such a melting pot.
One of our buddies is melted over there.
That's what we're going for, Kira.
It's such a melting pot that only five kids
are left at school, like that who aren't Bajorin.
Yeah.
So I guess there's that too.
I guess they have some indication
that the killer was headed for one of the runabouts
or whatever.
Yeah.
Was it like the tool?
You needed the tool to get on the runabout?
That was the idea that I had about it, yeah.
I guess somebody wanted to steal a runabout.
Yeah, I can't remember, but they like try to see if they can pick up the trail at runabout
pad A, and they don't find any evidence.
And O'Brien and Nila talk about the dude that got murdered
and whether either of them knew him very well,
and she's like, no, I don't really like,
I don't really fuck with those Starfleet people that much.
Like, you're pretty cool, because you're chill
and you're my work husband, but the rest of those guys
really like, they really act like their
shit doesn't stink and they're not fun to be around.
Not like you, Miles.
You know your shit stinks.
You don't put on any airs.
She kind of, I feel like, wants his gym jaw here.
Like she makes a pass at him.
A little bit.
Yeah.
It would have been interesting to see where this story went if that had come to fruition.
Like this is a dude in an unhappy marriage and a woman who spoiler alert has really gotten
ratcheted into an extreme way of thinking.
And I feel like if they got together right here right now, like started rolling
around on RunaboutPad A, the outcome might have been really different.
O'Brien is constantly presented with a way out. And good on him, he just never takes it.
Yeah, Nila passes up the gym jaw. Well, uh, O'Brien passes up giving her the gym jaw.
Yeah.
Miles be gym jaw, Miles be quick.
Miles go under the gym just to...
All around the gym jaw clock.
Nila wants that gym jaw cock. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha or anything, man. Basically, my only notes for the episode were the lyrics
to the Jim Joss song.
And who my Shimoda is.
O'Brien runs this by Odo.
He's like, dog, like, bad news.
We went to the run-up out and we didn't find any new evidence.
And Odo's like, that is evidence.
Because if all the signs were pointing there,
then whoever did the murder would have had to switch
which runabout they're trying to get out on.
The runabout is the escape pod for this crime
that we think may be in the works.
And they're talking it through,
talking over the details of what Odo is thinking about when
in the background a flash of light and a banger on the station bespeaks an explosion on the other side
of the problem. He goes to a lot of trouble to defeat the security net and then it doesn't go through. This is what I'm talking about.
School.
And unlike the fireball that happens in the hallway
at Bashir a couple episodes ago,
yeah.
This is a practical, like there is a big fucking explosion
and shit comes out of the hole.
It looks great.
Yeah.
It is a really scary explosion.
That is the right word because the way they frame it, the fireball fills the frame in
a really scary way.
And it's one of those explosions that no one survives.
Like they're outside of this classroom and it is breathtakingly awful.
Yeah, it is beginning of children of men level explosion.
Oh, Brian, like, takes a couple of half steps
towards the fireball and is like,
Keko, no.
My wife, my wife may be in there.
Someone's safer, someone hold me back.
I said hold me back, damn it.
It was like, all right, buddy, I'll hold you back.
Then he puts on a little show,
fighting to wanna go in, but it turns out Kiko,
Kiko got away unscathed.
Kiko is not dead, and we've got to live with that truth
the rest of the episode.
The fire has died down and the gang is there, like taking a look at the situation,
trying to see if there's anything salvageable.
It's a total loss, like the school is usblowed.
And.
It's a write-off for the station.
Yeah, yeah, they were well insured.
It took the station like weeks to like put tables up
onto their legs and put chairs underneath them.
I don't know how long it's going to take to fix this classroom.
They should probably just use a cutting torch to cut around it and send it out into space.
Yeah.
Kiko's like, when can we fix my thing up? And Cisco's like, well, most of the engineering crews
are already detailed to cleaning the comma
out of the hollow suites.
And we just don't really have the manpower for it right now.
I'm really sorry.
Are you saying that your classroom is more important
than come clean up?
Ha ha ha ha.
How dare you, Kiko. Important work is happening all around us.
Nurse Ratchet runs up and is putting on a big show of being concerned for Kiko's
safety.
The commander comes out and he's really not having any of it.
He's not brooking any fake sincerity here in these parts. Yeah, and he basically says some stuff that implies that
the kind of crusade that she's been on has inspired
if it wasn't directly connected to this act,
definitely inspired it in whatever sick fuck did it.
And she really like takes great umbridge at that.
And he's like, no, like you come on my station
with your holier than thou, like I'm better friends
from the prophets, with the prophets than you shit.
Like you haven't even met the prophets.
I'm their emissary.
Who do you speak for?
An order that's barely listened to in your assembly. He's saying you're here trying to stir up controversy to make
yourself look good and I don't appreciate it and she staples Vedic Beryl to Susco in this moment.
He's as misguided as you are. The guy wouldn't even let me grab his ear earlier.
Totally waxed off my reach in.
She gets real nasty here, man.
She says that Sisko lives in darkness with the Federation.
And that the Federation is here to drag Bajor into the darkness.
This is the flip side of Prostalistizing, though.
Like, it is very rarely only my side is right, come to my side.
It is often equal parts, your side is wrong, and you're going to hell.
And that's really what Vedic Winn rides for in this moment.
She's like, you're unfit to be the emissary.
You're choosing not to embrace my way of life
and that makes you not just a neutral party,
but a bad person.
Yeah, it's that thing,
like there's lots of people that are religious
that are able to like coexist with people of other religions.
And the second you get like too extreme about it,
it becomes like other religions are wrong and those people are a threat to the
holiness of the of the situation going on around me. Right. And so yeah, like she, it's really an
extremely weak position and a weak amount of a weak amount of faith to feel so easily challenged by
a week of amount of a week amount of faith to feel so easily challenged by another person's opinion that way.
Definitely.
And she acts in this moment like she's gotten the last word in like she's really like
she's really sucker punched Cisco and he does that great thing where he says that's the
first mistake you've made.
It's like the exact same thing as like,
when that guy was trying to get into Reikers head by saying,
I'm gonna fuck the anotroy.
What is Lloyd Braun doing here?
Reikers like, if she likes you and likes fucking you,
then that is A-OK by me.
I guess your mother was right.
You never could compete with Lloyd Braun!
That was one of the best Reikers moments, I think.
Yeah, absolutely. And this is a great Cisco riker moments, I think. Yeah, absolutely.
And this is a great Cisco moment.
He's saying like, hey, listen, we live with
bejorins here every day and we disagree with that.
What are my best friends as a bejorin?
So it's cool if I say it.
No, like we disagree with them and that's okay. We can work together
and not always come down on the exact same side of every issue. And I think that's a great
and important message. Right.
Burial comes up to the station not long after this and decides like now might be the time
to talk to Vedic when unchecked her power might be a fire that we can't put out.
So I'm going to, I'm going to put myself into the position to,
to be a cooling element to these hot tempers.
And so we rolls up to Vedic win's office and she comes in with an eagrab and he's like,
no, not a dog.
I don't have any
quarters in this ear for you to pull out. Forget about it. He sort of does with her hand
what everybody does with Michael Burnham in Discovery, which is keeps her away from
Vulcan neck pinch range. She's always reaching for somebody's neck and getting her wrist grabbed and the same thing with
beryl and win.
Keep your hands off my ears.
Beryl is like, hey, I'm glad you're here and talking as though you're not the cause of
all this craziness. Like, why don't you and I go like join hand in hand and go make a go make a statement about
our common cause, which is peace and understanding.
And it's really funny because it's like hand in hand, but the hand that he is holding
is the same hand that she used to reach for his ear.
And she's still like got the like her her fingers in your grab
mode.
He's holding on to her claw.
Yeah, he's really a key to her in multiple ways here.
And so this starts to become like this, this very tense rising action where O'Brien is
on the case of who tried to jake a shuttlecraft and has put lockdowns on all the runabout pads.
We've got shots of Nila walking through the crowd
toward Burial and Wind.
So real in the line of fire vibes going on here, I think.
Cross-cutting and the slow motion.
Yeah, and the commander joins them up on the stage that I guess has been erected outside of the destroyed school.
I don't know why there's like this raised platform that they keep winding up on outside the school.
I don't feel like it was there before.
But, yeah, Nila pulls a gun out of her engineer in case, and get a great like like O'Brien tips off Cisco
Right at the last moment O'Brien puts it together and Cisco gets a great slow motion no
I mean he hits the mini tramp or the or the air ramp and really goes flying
Yeah, he does not get in himself in between the beam and
Yeah, he does not get in himself in between the beam and barile who is the target here. Now he's not willing to die for this.
She licks off the first shot and just misses by a mile.
And really could have hit a bystander up on the second level.
Yeah, those folks are really lucky that that stanchion was where it was.
If I'm making this episode, it hits an innocent and then that person will help screams over
the railing.
It's just more fun that way.
Yeah, I got to get a will help scream in there if you can't, if you can afford it.
This turns into a panic and sisco and the security people grab Nila and take her off and She's doing that thing is she's dragged off too. She's like I
acted I
acted in the profit interest like like she she's like
Ranting yeah on her way to the cell the crowd is dispersing in fear and and
Wayne is trying to slink off and cure like grabs her by the arm. She's like, this was all a plan, wasn't it?
Like, you came up here to stir shit up
to drive a wedge between the bejurins and the federation
so that Beryl would come up here.
You did it all to kill him,
to stop him from becoming Kai.
And when does not respond?
She just looks Kira in the eye and walks away
Like the the implication being like I don't have to dignify that with a response
But also yeah it me pretty fucked up
I wish she would have responded. I wish she would have said something even just I don't have to dignify that with a response would have been
An interesting Thing for her to say.
You eat these as a shit for breakfast?
No.
Yeah, and in that way,
the clothes of the first season of Deuce Base 9
ends with that and just the button on Kira.
Kira gets the gavel for the end of the first season
by sort of expressing like in the aftermath of everything,
her feelings about her own faith and how they differ
from those around her, not just on the station,
but in the religion that she prescribes to itself.
Yeah, and that point she makes about how all of the conflict
in her life now seems to be with other bejorans
like how to run things.
And she's already been through the worst thing
in having ongoing daily conflict with the Kardashians.
It's a real weird feeling for her to be here now, having to take sides in these new and
totally different kinds of fights.
I haven't watched, I mean, I don't think it'll surprise anyone who's just jumping into the show with us to know that I don't really remember much of Deep Space 9 and I did not complete watching it when it was on TV, but I wonder if Kira's deal is that she is just attracted to conflict or that conflict surrounds her forever. Like will she ever find peace?
Will she ever be a character who develops deep relationships
that give her some gratification, you know,
that make her happy?
Because the story about her in season one is that she's not.
She's deeply unhappy and she finds conflict everywhere and she's in the middle of it.
And she's very wounded by what she's been through.
Yeah.
But I think like it ends on a hopeful note, right?
Like she tells Cisco that he's not the devil and that's, you know, like...
Most episodes end with Kira apologizing this is go
That's like the big city apology the the Kira apology
Well, did you like this episode Adam?
No, I didn't I I want to answer that two ways like I
Did not like this episode because of how transparent its investigation was. That was not exciting.
The reveal was not surprising.
That was disappointing to me.
I feel like the show has done a better job in obscuring who the enemy is for longer than
this one.
Yeah.
The implications of a religious conflict
among the pejoran people interest me greatly.
And I imagine this is going to be a story arc
that goes and goes and goes for the rest of it.
But for an interesting arc to be beginning in this way
doesn't give me
a ton of hope in how something like that might be resolved. What about you?
It's an episode that I really want to like, and there's a lot that I like about it. I think Luis
Fletcher is a great villain and pretty well established here and really a complex character.
You know, she's a, she is a true believer, but also willing to go to great,
and to some extent self-compromising lengths for power.
I doubt as a true believer she thinks murder is okay,
but she was kind of a party to an attempted murder here. And I guess she was a party to a real
murder in the Starfleet officer that disappears, which is like, you know, like I guess not
a terribly unusual idea for a religious extremist character, but it's pretty interesting
about her.
I feel like the misstep is that it's about Kiko in the school, which is something that
really hasn't been established as anything. Isn't something that we are that invested in.
I wish her conflict had been more directly with Cisco,
or with DAX or somebody.
The science officer would have been interesting,
or what if she'd come to the station to advocate for locking down the wormhole
and only allowing bejurans into it or something.
Yeah, I agree.
There's an element of the conflict that feels like it's missing here.
And I would have preferred that told in a different way too.
One place that you and I are totally in agreement on is the Louise Fletcher thing. If you want someone to be, like, she's not evil. Well, I guess
she has to be evil because she ordered a terrorist attack. But like, there's, if what you're
trying to do is cast someone as someone with supreme confidence in their point of view, irrespective of whether or not that point of
view is bad or evil, like the person who plays Nurse Ratchet is that person.
Like, she had almost identical intentions in that film.
Right.
So nice casting.
Nice casting, really nice performance.
And I'm glad that character is here because she's an interesting character.
Well I'm glad priority one messages are here Ben, you want to see if we have any of those?
It's a one of my favorite segments. I almost had like a super mario. It's a one to my favorite segment.
The same thing.
Priority one message from Star fleets coming in on secured channel
Need a supplement on top of the
Top of the
Yes extra the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship
Been our first priority one message is of a personal nature. It is from Daniel of the long-last name
It is for the incoherent
... Daniel knows that we are bad at pronouncing names.
Yeah, thanks Daniel. It is for the incomparable Zoe, alias Riefka. Message goes like this.
Dear Zoe, thanks for getting me into the greatest generation and a belated happy birthday.
You know how much these things cost, so just imagine what other great gifts you could have
gotten if I hadn't ordered a P1.
Ben and Adam may never understand our love of holiday episodes, but they understand our
love of Major Kira, and that's almost enough.
Happy birthday, Zoe.
Oh, how very sweet!
Yeah, I'll never understand your love of holiday episodes, that shit is whack!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Yeah, a little rude to give a gift that the other person knows the price of, but...
I guess so...
Yeah, you gotta scratch the price tag off of your P1, there, Daniel.
Come on.
Give me a break.
Yeah.
Adam our next priority one message is
for friends of DeSoto everywhere,
and it is from Sarah Crow, Sam Tregar, and Daniel Weir.
And it goes like this.
Are you suffering from plevimitis?
Plevimitis is a serious medical condition.
If you like plevim, consult your doctor immediately.
Three out of five Facebook TGG mods recommends hashtag Rascals to tell those plevimo files
to go fuck themselves.
Ask your doctor if hashtag Rascals is right for you.
I feel like we should have gotten the huge laundry list of potential side effects of hashtag
Rascals.
Yeah, do you think that's right?
Maybe they ran out of 350 characters and they figured that they would defy the FDA regulations on that.
Wonder when we're gonna get a P1 that's just a bitly link
to an essay by or for the rascals.
Right. I feel like this is just the Facebook mods
that are rascals writing this on. Is that your interpretation?
That is. Yeah, that's what I'm getting from this. Hey, well, thank you for supporting the show,
but also thank you for moderating the Facebook.
Yeah.
That Facebook group is uniquely chill for a Facebook group.
Like, the mods and the admin do a great job of keeping it
from being a nasty, bad place.
The internet is a horror show, and I have an unhealthy of keeping it from being a nasty bad place.
The internet is a horror show
and I have an unhealthy relationship with it
and that is one of the bright and good places.
So I sure am grateful for that corner of the internet.
If you are interested in sending a priority one message
to someone you love or a priority
one message about a business interest you have, you can go to Maximumfund.org slash
gelbotron where personal messages are $100 and commercial messages are $200 and they
are one of the great and primary ways to help the ongoing production of this program. True dad.
A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss.
Why?
Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all.
FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay,
to do pre and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment.
Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it!
The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates
in a lot of great places.
Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info.
That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Sherry Reembarishment
Tour.
I'm Jordan Morris.
And I'm Jesse Thorne.
On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level.
We get stupid with Judy Greer.
My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards.
Pat Noswald.
Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries?
Thank you.
And Kumail Non-Giani.
I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use.
Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org.
Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out.
Give Jordan Jesse Goatry.
Being smart is hard.
Be dumb instead.
Oh, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line.
These clouds are really freaking me out.
I hate having to stand in line and, boy, what do I?
These giraffes do not smell good.
No, they do not, and they've such short neck.
But I'm hearing we need to get on this off.
We've got to get on the art.
It is about terrain,
about a spout to destroy humanity.
Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Are you Noah?
Yeah, I know we look like humans.
We're actually, we're podcasters.
We are podcasters, so it's different.
Have you heard of Ono, Ross and Kerry?
We investigate spirituality,
claims of the paranormal, stuff like that.
And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out.
We would love to be on the boats.
We came two by two.
What do you think?
Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. Rock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, The in the line of fire scene happens. Nila has raised her weapon.
Cisco has hit the air ramp.
Let us scroll all the way to 4135.
This is in the aftermath of shit going down.
There's a guy like watching the scrum,
like watching Nila getting dragged away. a guy in a green turtle neck.
And he is clearly the guy who just saw something major.
And he's like, holy shit, I was there. And he points at my at himself.
He's like, I was there. Me. And he walks right behind Cisco and Kira. And he's like, I was there.
I was so close.
I saw that.
Did you see that whole frame?
Yeah, and like, anyone who is a part of a thing never pointed
themselves.
Like, the whole point of himself is the Shimoda of this moment.
It's so dumb.
This is about me.
Who has an index finger and who just witnessed an assassination?
This guy.
Sure it is Derek.
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's my Shimoda.
Who's your husband?
My Shimoda in this episode is Morn.
Morn is in a couple of funny places in this episode, but the funniest place is when
Vettich Braille shows up on Deep Space 9.
It's like a big, exciting moment for the public when he is getting off of his ship.
And Moreen is among the people that are really like, that are like, they're greeting him
at the airlock, punth to see him.
And I just love the idea that Morn is like a big,
Vedic barile fan.
Yeah.
Everyone likes a parade, you know?
And I think-
He's the first person barile shakes hands with.
I think Morn's that kind of guy, like,
Morn just wants to go where the action is.
Yeah. That's pretty great.
He wants that hammer to be made available to anybody that wants it.
Ben, what's coming up on the first episode of season two of Deep Space Nine?
The first episode of season two is season two episode one, the homecoming part one. Kira risks her
life and war with the Kardashians to rescue a mythical Bajora hero from a
distant prison colony. All right. Well, I guess this is the moment where we
stop the pod. Adam, we cut the tape and we came back and we have a board game.
Against all odds, we actually came up with a board game here.
This is actually far more difficult than...
Actually, this was as difficult as I thought it would be.
No joke.
I think this will be visible to people on the internet.
So what do you say, gach.biz slash game?
If you want to look at this thing.
That's easy to remember.
G-A-G-H.DatBiz slash game.
So what this is is it's loosely based on the ancient Indian board game of snakes and ladders and it's a it's the game of
buttholes the will of the prophets so there's a number of space buttholes on this
board that can move our move our game piece back to a different place there's
no cheating and advancing like in snakes and landers, but
several of the Several of the game tiles have different mechanics on them and the most abundant
Mechanic on this board is Quartz bar, which is you know if we land on that we record the episode while drinking to
probably will excess now
We also have several other
Mechanics available for
random chance. Do you want to go through those? Yeah, in addition to the Quarksbar
tile, we have Coco No-no, which is a special teaky thing, a special teaky
themed drunk-as-soed bin. I imagine that this is just a variation of Quark's bar. Yeah. And that
will make it easier. Quark's bar, but we make a, we have, we both have a coconut. I think
Anne Kills are sent us coconuts. Yeah. So we got to make a, we got to make a cocoa
no no. All right. And drink a bunch of those. I'd say have a picture at the ready because
you're going to drink several over the course of such an episode.
I love that picture format.
Yeah, another possibility we have is Starship Mine,
which is one that was suggested on the Reddit,
which we both thought was really funny,
which is build a spaceship model well recording.
So I guess we each have to like order a plastic model kit and be building it while
we're making an episode. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking maybe we can auction those off on eBay for charity
or something once they're done. Yeah. A thing that I'm sure zero people will want. We've caught in the nebula.
That's an episode we record where we prevent ourselves
from taking down any notes while watching the episode
and just try and do it from memory.
Yeah, that'll be great, right?
It's so bad.
It's equal end opposing force on the game board
is a tile called the NTS degree, which is an episode recorded after having done extensive research on the episode.
That will be the rare episode where it sounds like we're in the pocket of Big Rod.
Right, exactly. measure of a man where we each have to like pick a side and argue for it on the episodes
that will like flip a coin and whatever the episode was no matter what our actual opinion
was, we have to like high school debate style defend or attack the episode.
Okay, I can do that.
I can I can fraudulently give you an opinion for sport.
Yeah.
There's also, watch out for it, the naked now.
Landing on the square will mean that you and I will record our episodes
Roderick style from Inside a Bath tub.
I want to be super clear about this.
Separate bathtubs, separate states.
Really want to make sure that we're efficient
on that podcast recording bend,
because I don't wanna get those raisin fingers.
Oh yeah, yeah.
And the water can cool off,
can got a really like cruise through those ones. And the, you know, the water can cool off. Got it.
Yeah.
Got it really like, cruise through those ones.
Does it gonna be shivery shimotas at the end?
And we've got a square called,
fuck it, we'll do it live.
And we haven't quite worked this out,
but I guess our idea here is we'll do webcam
and tell people ahead of time when we're gonna do it
and we'll record the episode on a livestream
so people can watch.
Could be a disaster.
Who knows?
See how the fudge is packed.
That's a way of saying that.
And that's it, all of these.
I think we have one last one, Adam.
Oh, shoot.
The most important one in many ways.
Right.
Tile number 100, the end of the road for us is called Mornhammer 2.
The way we envision this is that the game will be in play for the rest of our run on Deep Space 9.
But anytime we get to tile 100, what happens, Adam?
That is a power hour episode, Ben.
And if you don't know what a power hour is,
that is 60 shots of beer in 60 minutes.
And that's about the time of one of our podcast episodes
that links up real nice.
It will present an interesting editing challenge as well
because usually we edit a bunch.
God, we might want to turn that into a fuck it, we'll do it live, huh?
We'll see, we'll see.
We've taken great care to spread these, these tiles around because I know you and I both
talked a lot about not fucking with the show too much. Right.
The show, we love the show pretty much as is, we want these special tiles to be special
occasions and not every week things.
So that's what we're approaching this from.
If there are a number of wormholes where we can get caught and go into a tile that has
a thing on it, but most like the vast majority of the
tiles are empty and will be regular episodes. And yeah, I'm looking forward to
this new thing, Adam. Should we roll them bones and see what we got?
Now's as good a time as any.
We're starting on tile one and I rolled a one so we are moving on to tile two which is a quirk's bar
Drink!
It was the antidote!
Fuck!
Ha ha ha ha ha
I got stuff to do today man!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Alright!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
God!
Oh!
Sorry dude.
Well, thanks Ben for mostly designing this board game on your own.
Also want to thank Dark Materia for our theme music and Adam Ragusia for all the rest
of our great music here on the show.
If you'd like to support the show, and uh...
Stuck the fridge!
Yeah, and Stuck the fridge, because this is going to, this is definitely going to affect
the bottom line.
Go to maximumfund.org slash donate.
And you can also support the show for free by recommending it to your friends and going
on your podcasting service of choice and giving us a nice review.
That is always appreciated.
So with that we'll be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek
Deep Space 9 and an episode of the greatest generation Deep Space 9 which
drunkenly goes behind enemy lions. lol The maximum fun dot or comedy and culture, artist owned.
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