The Greatest Generation - Space Butthole Curriculum (DS9 S1E19)

Episode Date: February 19, 2018

When a fundamentalist religious leader comes on board the station, Keiko inherits more than the wind. But when one of her husband’s wrenches goes missing, his work wife starts to keep him on his toe...s too. Who ate all the M&Ms out of the trail mix at the Craft Services table? What happened to the popsicle continuity in this episode? Does Neela want the jumja? It’s the episode where we teach the controversy.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,
Starting point is 00:00:35 they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,
Starting point is 00:01:01 and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate
Starting point is 00:01:25 in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic
Starting point is 00:01:55 and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecisoto for labor.com. That's friendsofdisoto for labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the whimmy's crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation, Deep Space 9, the Star Trek podcast about Deep Space 9 by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranaka.
Starting point is 00:02:38 I'm Ben Harrison. We are really close to episode 200, Adam. Oh, I didn't know that. What episode is this? I think this is 197 of the greatest generation. We'll have to do something special for 200. Yeah. And we may have to given the board gamification
Starting point is 00:02:59 of what season two is gonna be. Yeah, oh, we're a fuck here, because we should have it ready to go for the beginning of season two, right? Oh, we really. Which is technically the end of this episode. We really should. We might have to record the app and then record the end.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Come back and record the end. Yeah, I think that's going to be what ends up happening. Adam, we were talking about the weather before we got on the horn today. Yeah. What are you looking at up there in Seattle, Washington, where you live? If you were to guess any time between November and May about what the weather was going to be like in Seattle, you'd be a winner just about every time if your guest was 45 degrees in rainy. And that's what it is today. Hey, see that's kind of like my, that's my weather
Starting point is 00:03:53 sweet spot personally. I feel like that's like what I'm wired for. I spent a semester studying abroad in Dublin, Ireland, and that's what we're kind of looking at a lot of the time, and I really liked it. I have a real hard time finding someone's weather sweet spot. A lot of guys think it's a myth. Let me tell you what I have learned, man. It's not hail. Try as I might to think that it's hail. It is not. What's it like up there for you?
Starting point is 00:04:26 I should say down there because clearly I'm above you up in Seattle. Yeah, you're above a lot of things up there in Seattle. Yeah. I'm recording this episode on an 80 degree day at DEC. Earlier this week, I guess. 80 degrees on February 1st. Yeah. Earlier this week, I posted just like a screen grab of the app on my phone
Starting point is 00:04:50 that tells me what the weather is going to be with a fuck this shit emoji. And it was met with a lot of confusion. Because I think most people who think that hot weather is good don't understand that there are also other people that know that hot weather is bad. I think I might be one of those people who who likes the hot weather. Let's swap lives at them. We're gonna find out what happens when two unpopular podcasters switch lives for a week.
Starting point is 00:05:23 It's not life swapSwap, it's LifeSwap. You guys can move down and your wife can start studying for the bar. Hmm. And uh... Move up there. My wife will start working at a major corporation. You'll just be damp all the time? Yeah, and I'll just be damp and happy.
Starting point is 00:05:49 I don't think either of us would like that. That's a, you're in the perfect situation for me because I want to come and visit all the benefits of a life in LA with none of the permanents. Mm. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's a, it's the the purpose of it is really weighing on me right now. Has it been a thing? I seriously?
Starting point is 00:06:13 Well, I went to, I've started to see a therapist and I went to like my first session the other day. And I think it's been like something I've been putting off for a lot longer than I should have, but there was like an entire year of, oh, well, I'm moving to another state soon. So I shouldn't start with somebody because it takes a long time to like get up and running with a therapist. Is it like seeing a doctor where your chart gets into a new therapist or do you just start fresh? I think that there is not much in the way of metrics that they can make out of talk therapy. So, you really do have to catch them up on who you be and what is troubling you. And I started going down the list of reasons
Starting point is 00:07:05 I had thought of for why I should probably be in therapy over the last 10 years. That's sort of a great question by a doctor, right? Like, why do you think you're here? Yeah, exactly. And by the end of the session, she was like, wow, this is a lot. Well. Yeah, nothing super major, like no one thing is totally out of control, but uh...
Starting point is 00:07:35 I think my sesories are a little too major for you. Enough that there's a lot of straws on this here camelback. I can only think of a few times when hearing those words from a doctor would be a good thing. How is this game going to work? I was looking at shoots and ladders. The rules are basically you roll a dice and then you get to go that number of spaces and if it's a ladder you climb up to the next and if it's a shoot you fall down to whatever it's connected to.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Well shoots and ladders was just the first game that came to mind that had that format, but it couldn't be just as easily monopoly or any other game based on turns and moves and dice. But the idea that really sounded appealing to me was, I think, someone responded with just a list of things that the squares could be that we could possibly land on. Yeah, because there's a hundred squares in shoots and ladders. And it's also, I believe, a game that has passed into the public domain.
Starting point is 00:08:31 So we wouldn't have a- So we could steal a board and repurpose it? Yeah, but I also think that it would be really cool if there was a board that had illustrations of things that we talk about on our show. Right, yeah, I agree. board that had like illustrations of things that we talk about on our show. Right. Yeah. I agree.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Maybe what we'll do is we'll come up with what the squares are and then make like a, we could make like a Google spreadsheet that is publicly viewable that shows the grid of squares and where you and I are respectively. But then maybe we could throw it to the community if people want to take a stab at like drawing it or organize a crowdsource where different people get different squares to draw, that would be really cool. I would argue maybe even more than half of the squares being nothing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Yeah. It should be a unique experience when one or both of us lands on on a thing. I think that seems that seems like the right way to go because it turns the show into something else and I like the show as it that. I'm the Scalia of the next fuck. You said it right the first time. I think everyone knows that, Ben. Does that make me the Clarence Thomas? Because I just sit here going, yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:09:59 I feel like I might be the Thomas and that I so rarely laugh at your jokes according to the people who write in. Oh, like these are hurt, Adam. Yeah, geez. I just happen to be a stealthy laugher, that's all. See, just then I was laughing a lot. You'd never know it?
Starting point is 00:10:19 Yeah, a hearty laugh from Adam Pranika never fails to disappoint. A hearty blank from Adam Pranika. That's just something you can use anytime. This space intentionally left blank. Yeah. Do you want to get into the episode here? This is the last episode of season one.
Starting point is 00:10:41 We've did it. It's the end of Season 1 of Deep Space 9, Ben. It's Episode 19. In the hands of the Prophet. No, of course you don't. We start with O'Brien trying to talk Kiko... BULLOPS! And to you, taking one of his popsicles. Try one, you like it. And she is not into it. Too early for me.
Starting point is 00:11:20 As is her way. I guess she's back from... There was like some... explicit talk about how she was taking the school kids to bejure for a field trip, right? At the beginning of the last episode or was that like a couple episodes ago? They're doing a lot...
Starting point is 00:11:38 Or they have done a lot of exposition about where she be at the beginning of a lot of episodes that she's absent in. They don't give the corresponding why is she here, information when she does show up. Also, like, Sir Rock Lofton is a pre-credits name. Like, he is a main cast character and he's missed several episodes and they've never been like, Jake is back on Earth visiting his grandfather
Starting point is 00:12:05 or anything like that. It's a great paycheck if you can get it for Sriracha Lofton. Yeah, he's laughing all the way to the bank. Yeah. Well, one person who's not laughing Ben is Keko at the idea of O'Brien having a work wife. Yeah. O'Brien's going on and on about Nila
Starting point is 00:12:26 and how great she is to work with, and it's pretty innocent stuff. She's even taught me a thing or two. It's the sort of excitement you have when you meet anyone new that you hit it off with. Like, it's good to work with a competent person and Keko being of varying amounts of competent in a number of areas takes great umbridge with this.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Be careful who you share your jump job with. Kiko is found a job where she's the boss and doesn't really report to anybody. So she doesn't really have any, like she doesn't really have to rise to any particular standard. At the end of this scene, she makes a wise crack that could be construed
Starting point is 00:13:10 in no other way than comparing O'Brien's dick to a jump job hop. Yeah. If that's the truth, he's got a pretty chowty-looking dick, right? Yeah, a pointy chowd at that. Yeah. Like you want itode at that. Yeah. You want it to at least be pretty blunt at the end
Starting point is 00:13:27 if you're choddy. Yeah, that's a hell of a flair on that bass. Yeah. So we cut to the classroom where Kiko's teaching space butthole to the assembled students. And it seems like what could be any other day in the classroom. The kids are participating. Nog is not there for some reason. I guess he's still homeschooling with Jake visiting his grandfather on earth. Oh, we know that. No,
Starting point is 00:14:00 I'm just saying that his grandfather's birthday party? Yeah, that's always the explanation. Grandfather on earth. Yeah, the butthole class is going pretty well. The kids are paying attention. You need to get your parents to sign a permission slip when there's the week of space butthole curriculum going on in school, think and maybe that's why that's why nog isn't there I don't think quarks gonna sign off on that yeah yeah quark is like I You can learn plenty about a butthole right here in the bar Just go up to one of the hollow suites. There's there's more butthole based material than Then Kiko could ever teach you.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Take a bar stool next to Morn. I'll tell you about all about the birds and the bees and the hammers. Jake is a bit of a teacher's pet. He's the only kid in class racing his hand and engaging with the material. Unclear if that's just because he loves butthole or if he feels pressure as the station commander's son to perform. But he's in the midst of answering a question when Nurse Ratchet walks in to the classroom. Yeah. She basically walks in holding a picket sign.
Starting point is 00:15:27 And it's like, don't mind me. I'm just here for things. The great Louise Fletcher. Yeah, one of the great actors. One of the great actors. You talk about gravitas. She's got it in spades. She's got it in spades and she plays,
Starting point is 00:15:46 she plays person you love to hate better than almost anybody. I want to ask you about some costume philosophy here with her wardrobe specifically. Her hat looks like her nose. And is that like an overarching costume philosophy of the show? Like is that why Klingon Wardrobe is pointy? And you'll see Bejorins with the scalloped hat look as often as you do? I think that she's just a big fan of Australian opera. Yeah. How could you not?
Starting point is 00:16:19 The one people that have really put their fingerprints on opera is the Australians. Right. Famous for their opera. Have you ever seen crocodile Dum D, the opera? Who wrote the libretto on that? Matthew Barry, that's who. Yeah, she takes a lot of umbridge at the way Keko is teaching butthole, because to the Bedurans, the butthole is a sanctified place that is the house of their gods.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And Nurse Ratchet is a real hardliner on this, like she doesn't see it as like, you know, we treat them as prophets and, you know, maybe they are, in fact, aliens, but they did make this wormhole and we consider it to be the temple in our belief structure. She is like, they are gods, it is a temple. Calling it anything but a temple is insulting to the butthole. Yeah, I mean, Kekko's sort of on team, non-denominational butthole, and this woman is clearly Orthodox butthole. Yeah, like Kekko is pretty polite at first, but the conversation devolves into, you're not teaching, you're not teaching these pejorian kids what what they should be taught and Kiko's like,
Starting point is 00:17:45 I'm teaching them the science on the matter. You guys can teach them your spiritual beliefs on your own time. That's not my job. And then nurse ratchet's like, it is your job. You're corrupting the minds of these children. If you would just at least teach the controversy, and cake was like, bitch, you don't even have a visitor's pass. How did you even get into this school?
Starting point is 00:18:11 Did you check in at the front office? Yes, I suppose, too. You have to fill out that half piece of paper that they made on the Ditto machine that they're still using. It says what the make and model of your car is if you parked in the school parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. And, FedExWin is the proselytizing figure of this conflict.
Starting point is 00:18:35 And this is a fairly familiar type of person. If you go to a rot concert, or if you go to a rock concert or if you go to a sporting event or if you really go to anything where a large group of people groups of people are assembled. If you go to a corner near my house on a Sunday. Yeah. Yeah. This episode is being set up as a inherit the wind. Who gives a shit edition? After the theme song we find O'Brien fiddling around with his tools and he's hanging out with Nila trying to fix a compartment and he O'Brien's a guy that, that observed strict tool hygiene, like in a modern factory environment, you're, uh, you're checking in and checking out tools.
Starting point is 00:19:30 And you'll see this a lot in these environments, like people will walk around with big key rings full of checks with their name on them. And this is a real thing, like you'll put a check in where you take the tool, that way the person with the tools knows where the tool is. And this is not a thing that happened with O'Brien's tools. I don't misplace my tools. And he is none too happy when he sees, like, he's got that pelican case with a nice shadow box cutout of the tool and there's nothing in there. Yeah, he does a little engineer explaining to Nila about how he's not the dude that is misplacing tools. And so it's really burning his toast that he doesn't know where this thing is. Nila, by the way, has definitely been in the last three or four episodes.
Starting point is 00:20:21 She's a character that they have established. She's had you know, she is a character that they have established. She's had speaking roles for at least a few of them. Yeah, a fairly unique thing for a Star Trek program, but she was originally supposed to go back several more episodes than even the Neelith that we get here. She was recast. Really? She was one actor early on, I think, in the pup episode. Oh! Which is an episode I don't remember. The Forsaken was at it. I believe it was the four skin. Right. And they had some sort of falling out with the actor is what I read. And so they recast her. And then this is who we have here, this Nila. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:21:09 You kept getting all the M&Ms out of the trail mix at the craft service table. Yeah. Can't do that. Got to save some for the gang. Yeah. This sort of establishes that our B story line is the mystery of where did the tool go. I love the pitch for this in the room, like.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Yeah. Now we've got this religious fundamentalist A story. What do you say we do its exact opposite? Hahaha. Miles O'Brien just can't find his tools. Where are my tools? Cutton Deela, where'd your tool go? Hahaha.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Rack into O'Brien. Coming this summer, a comedy that starts wacky and gets grisly. Miles O'Brien in bloody hell. Wala. Yeah, the mystery B plot definitely like gets gets a scarier and scarier as it goes on, but it really, it starts and it's just like, um, if you are, as a television show, are challenging me to keep watching, try again. Yeah, and the reason why is like, you could watch this episode on mute and know exactly who the bad guy is. who the bad guy is. And be able to tell with startling certainty, what happens at the end, even.
Starting point is 00:22:50 It is not hiding anything. Mostly because it sort of walks Nila in and out of scenes throughout the episode that she really has no business being in. Right. Yeah, she's always exchanging significant looks with other people who are established to be bad as though we're not going to notice. Yeah. Yeah, so this Vedic win situation is a problem that everyone can see coming.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Cisco, and then just color Vedic ratchet. That really rolls off the tongue. That would have been nice. It helped us keep it straight. Kira sort of comes out and rides for Vedic wind. She's like yeah you know what she's got some interesting points. There's so many Bajoran kids on the station. It's only right that a Bajoran gets a Bajoran specific education. And Sisko is like you know, part of this whole project, W-slash-R-slash-T, deep-space-9, is like finding common ground. And we're not going to find common ground if we're doing Brown versus Board of Education of our classrooms. Like, let's keep the one classroom. No one's
Starting point is 00:24:01 happy with Kiko as the teacher. That is the one thing that we're both an strict agreement on. That's the curriculum that we are arguing about here. But I still maintain that it should be one classroom for all. The idea is like you teach your science and the religious institutions will teach their version of events, but when they're incompatible, like creationism or whatever.
Starting point is 00:24:26 And it is sort of implied here that the bejorans don't have a big bang and evolution-based theory of creation in their religion, which is like, man, I was like really on board for bejoran spirituality a few episodes ago, and this episode makes me hate it. Yeah. So often it's the messenger for me though too, right? Like there's nothing that's a big, that's a bigger turn off than a prostalizer to me. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:53 It's like, uh, it's like I would be into them, but they're friends are so obnoxious version of a religion. Yeah. Cisco says something really interesting here, which is like, the whole idea of bejorins and federation occupying the same station is to sort of audition them for entry into the federation, right? And like, if this were a Vulcan station that federation people were occupying, like, wouldn't this be the same problem?
Starting point is 00:25:25 Like, the Vulcans are logic orthodox, and yet they get along just fine. And it seems to me, like those governing philosophies are just as incompatible as stones in a butthole, are to the Kekoscience curriculum. There's been a couple of times where like Vulcans that, I mean there was that episode where that Vulcan spy lady was building the weapon that makes you die if you're not dispassionate and rational.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Yeah, I guess we've seen that before. You're right. Yeah, but I mean, I think I honestly think like this is a thing for the show that is good because it sets up this like really detestable villain. But it's also like disappointing because I kind of had the bejurines as being a little bit cooler about how the cosmos works than they turn out to be here. Yeah, and like I never I didn't like I didn't dislike kaiopaka at all. Like she was, yeah. Chill is fuck. Like I would, I would totally ride for whatever she's putting forward
Starting point is 00:26:48 as a spiritual practice. Kayo Paka really felt like a cool pope, like the pope that drinks. Like who would have a beer with you? Like, right. I'm gonna wash some feet and have a beer. Like that's Kayo Paka. And, uh, and Vedic wind is just not like that at all.
Starting point is 00:27:05 She really considers herself to be the defender of the faith. And she thinks it needs defending as much from federation as it did from Cardassia or anybody else. Let's talk for a second about how you establish protagonist and antagonist specifically in this episode, because you mentioned something that caught my attention a moment ago about like establishing Vedic win as the bad guy, where it really doesn't make the case
Starting point is 00:27:37 that what, like there's no corresponding case for Keko to be the good person. Keko is only writing for the control of her classroom and the reason that she should be teaching whatever curriculum she chooses, but she never comes out and says that my way is right. And I kind of wish that they did. Like they never make the case for her side
Starting point is 00:28:00 other than professional, you know? Like I wanted to hear her philosophical side and I wanted those to be more opposed than just then just making win into an extremist. It's one and done like she says you can teach that stuff in your own in your own spaces to your own people but like the reason Keko shouldn't be teaching Bajorin spirituality is also that she doesn't believe it. And also like the idea that the Bajorins have a monopoly on truth is insane. And if the Bajorins want to be in the federation, they should be able to abandon that kind of thinking. And maybe
Starting point is 00:28:45 this episode suffers from something that we suffer from in public discourse, which is the idea that because somebody holds something as a religious belief, you can't interrogate that or criticize it. And therefore, it kind of brings all discussions to a halt. Like the reason your Israel-Palestine conflict is so intractable is because there are fundamentally incompatible religious beliefs on either side of it that really can't be reconciled because they are religious beliefs. Right. Right, and much like the Israel-Palestine conflict,
Starting point is 00:29:28 the episode itself does not really go all the way in adjudicating those factors. It is just whether you are for or against Vedic winds deal. Yeah. The prophets definitely don't weigh in on this one, which would be helpful both in the Israel Palestine thing and also here. Like if the Godhead could come out of the clouds and settle the score, that'd be nice. Also, Kaya Pak is still alive. Does she not get to be Kai anymore because she is on that other planet with the people who can't die? You have fighting with those guys with the people who can't die? You have fighting fighting with those guys with the bad haircuts. That's probably that's a pretty bad deal for Kaiopaka
Starting point is 00:30:12 Right, like it's not like they couldn't get her on the FaceTime and do some conference calls, right? Hey listen a couple of questions Something came up at the space station and we just love to get your opinion on it. Pretty raw deal. Does the Kai have infallibility the way the Pope does? I don't know, I would like to know more about that. Would you like to know more? She's pretty infallible to me. I dig her whole deal, especially compared to Vedic win.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Yeah. Cisco goes down to like, you know, because Kiko comes and complains to Cisco and he's like, you know, because K.H.O. Cubs in complaints to Cisco and he's like, all right, I'll go talk to her. And he goes down to the Badger and Church and Vedic win is in there, having a, having a meditate or something. And she does the whole thing where she like gets her hand on his ear and tells him that he's a disbeliever and his ear and tells him that he's a disbeliever and tells him that she was initially very disappointed that the person that the prophets selected to be their emissary was not even a majoring much less a believer. And that Opaqa had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had rang very true here to me. Like as part of Vedic winds backstory. Like she seems fairly transparently into the idea
Starting point is 00:31:49 of being Kai, but also like talking out the other side of her mouth about like, oh, it's just what the prophets want, whatever. Like I'm at their mercy, but really in action, indeed, she is not leaving it up to the profits. She's great at the politics of what she is. Yeah. What are you doing now? I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, I'm not be gone, exactly. Well, Adam, it's interesting, as all that is.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Let's check back in with where is Chief O'Brien's socket wrench? The socket wrench thing is not just a gag because it's actually a little bit of a dangerous tool. It's like if someone took a flame thrower out of a toolbox, like this thing could do some damage and could fuck some shit up on the station. It could even kill someone. Yeah, so they got to find it.
Starting point is 00:32:54 And fortunately, the Federation makes its tools out of a different material than the Cardassians make their space stations. So they were run a search for titanium and they're they get some hits. It's a it's Nila and O'Brien and they get they get a hit in the tool locker and then they also get another faint one in like a power conduit. So they shut down the power conduit and like go go crawling through it It's like a jeffery's tube and they find this tool like melted onto the floor
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, like if if a tool could could bleed This is sort of what it looks like, right? Whatever it was, it's been pretty well cooked. And it looks like there's some biological residue in this molten pile that O'Brien picks up on his tricorder. Yeah, so they're going to figure out what that is. Meanwhile, he's going to take Kiko out to a nice popsicle. They go up to the popsicle stand and offer to buy her one. She says she's not into it and he says, okay, just one for me. And the guy says, no popsicle for you.
Starting point is 00:34:16 The popsicles have changed on the little stand on the counter. And did you notice the one in the middle is just a dong? Like, it is, it could be nothing else, but just a big old fucking cock. Why did they have this popsicle continuity problem? I don't know. I mean, they're clearly being used because like, naggy, some all the time.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Like any, any actually, like, licks him and eats him. There have to them all the time. Yeah. Like any, any actually like lixum and eat some, there have to be a lot of these around. They're made out of something edible, is what you're saying. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, man, I really wanted to get the scene of O'Brien kicking the shit out of the good humor, man. This fucking Bedurin that sells these,
Starting point is 00:35:04 these popsicles is like the most glum person. It wears like dark, dour clothing and has a totally dour effect. Who sells popsicles and acts like that? It's the book end to the scene that happens in the cold open though. It's the same guy except he's happy and nice. He's jolly good humor guy in the cold open and you see the contrast you see what's happened to Kiko Kiko's become a pariah and you see her through good humor man's eyes. Wait is he jolly in the cold open though? He's very friendly to
Starting point is 00:35:39 O'Brien and Kiko when they're talking. But he's still wearing like the black, velour, turtle neck. Yeah, I mean, he's dressed for a funeral in both scenes. Did you happen to notice if there were googly eyes on that dog? Maybe it was Odo keeping an eye on the situation. Oh no, Odo shows up. You can't, yeah, you do see Odo and the dog in the same room at the same time, so.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Yeah. So there is,do and the dog in the same room at the same time. Yeah. So there is, they've preserved dog continuity here. Well, they keep, uh, yeah, Odo prevents O'Brien from kicking the shit out of the good human man and he and Keko continue their date by walking down the promenade and they find And Keko continued their date by walking down the promenade and they find Vedic Ratchet crowded outside the school with a bunch of bejorns and she's explaining to the bejorns children and their parents that she's here to do something about this problem, this Keko O'Brien problem. And she kind of makes a show of extending an olive branch, right? Your honor, where is this leading us? What has it got to do with a state versus Bertram Case? And she kind of makes a show of extending it all of French, right? It's like, why don't we
Starting point is 00:36:52 just agree that you don't teach anything, W slash R slash T buttholes, and I'll back off. Like, I'm happy to back down on that count. And Kiko is like, yeah, but what about when we get to evolution and, and, et cetera, what then? Kiko is rightfully writing for the idea of, of her agency over, over her job and her classroom. And she's getting upset. Yeah. And I don't have to run my, my lesson plans by the religious leaders of a planet that I don't even live on. Vetic wind does that fucking thing that makes me so angry though,
Starting point is 00:37:31 like that condescension of religious leadership, which is like, I forgive you for being angry at me. Like, like, oh, fuck you. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's so aggravating. And then, like, at the conclusion of this argument, she does that thing where she marches the protesters past, Keko and Miles, like every student has to walk by them
Starting point is 00:37:58 away from the classroom in a very dramatic way. I got an altercation at the dog park the other day where I take the dog to the dog park a couple of times a week usually and it's a very fun place for him to go, but he's also not a huge fan of dogs that are much bigger than him. So sometimes we get there and I take a look at the dogs that are in there and I say,
Starting point is 00:38:24 not today buddy. We went there this weekend and decided like the mix wasn't great but it was good enough. But my wife had some treats in her purse so he kept coming over to like get some treats and a bigger dog came up while he was like trying to get, trying to price some treats and a bigger dog came up while he was like trying to get, trying to pry some treats out of us and he kinda flipped out at this other dog. And it didn't turn into a fight, but it got close and I got him under control and I was putting the leash on him
Starting point is 00:39:01 and we were getting ready to leave. And the owner of the other dog was like, it was like, get out of here. Get your damn dog out of here. Everybody was playing and it was fine and your dog is too aggressive. And it was that big. The dog is too aggressive.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Was his dog park. Like what if you just kept running into Vichy Prince guy? Everywhere and all over. Yeah, it was like, was it was totally that. Standard Poodle does not fight anyone. Yeah, that Poodle smoke cigarettes. Who put you in charge of this movie theater Vichy Prince guy and who put you in charge of the dog park? Right, yeah. We have not, we took our dog to the dog park last week and the one, the one thing that happened from that experience was We realized our dog was not very great at responding to commands Yeah, like and that's not a good that you can't have that in mixed company. And also our dog came back home and woke up very sore
Starting point is 00:40:07 because I guess our dog does not run full speed for like 10 or 15 minutes at a time very often and he was like limping almost from being sore from running. And I was like, that's my dog. That's me. Real fun. Low muscle tone dog.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Yeah. Really relate. Yeah, I mean, this a wheat interior has most of its way on its front legs. It's very, very front heavy. A top heavy boy. Yeah, yeah. And even like when he runs down the stairs, his back legs barely touch the stairs. He's like walking on his hands.
Starting point is 00:40:52 I used to know a three-legged dog who was missing one of his hind legs. And two feet. Was he in the shit? Yeah, he was in there. To pee this dog would do a handstand and just walk around on his two front paws for a while. Whoa. And so he would just draw these like amazing snakes
Starting point is 00:41:18 of piss all over the sidewalk. That's amazing. Yeah. Life kind a way. So this is like boiling over and it's become a big enough problem that it's Cisco's problem. And it seems like, it sounds like the Bejurent kids have basically been totally pulled out of school.
Starting point is 00:41:43 So Jake has been attending classes with like, handful of non-bejurian kids that are left. And he's really confused about the whole situation. And Cisco tells him about Galileo and like getting burned at the stake for advancing the Helio-centric model. And, uh, Jake's like, do you think they're gonna burn Kiko It just goes like well son we can only hope but anyways, I got it I got a fuck off to bejor
Starting point is 00:42:14 Yeah, and he kind of pieces out he gets a runabout and he heads to bejor I love the idea that the commander of the station can take a runabout anytime you want Yeah I love the idea that the commander of the station can take a run about any time you want. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a full tank of unleaded. He can fucking go. What he does is he visits his old pal, Vedic Barrel, who is sort of like the cool college professor, friend of his. Like, that just got into gardening.
Starting point is 00:42:44 He's a real peacenick He also is the voice of the PBS show front line Oh That's not true, but I couldn't like once I was like this guy's voice is so familiar It sounds like frontline narrator Yeah, I Was ready to believe it man. Yeah Yeah, I was ready to believe it, man. Yeah. Yeah, he's, Fedeg Beryl is more on the Opakka side of the spectrum in terms of where he's
Starting point is 00:43:12 coming from W slash R slash T beliefs. And you know, like when we've had the conversation with Cisco about how your interpretation of what the profits are is totally a matter of perspective. Like if you've grown up believing that there are entities living in a palace in the sky that can see the future, like the profits kind of fit that description. And so it isn't totally insane to like fit them into your belief system.
Starting point is 00:43:51 But, you know, we have a different belief system and we can understand them to be aliens that built this this wormhole and like we can use it for one thing and they can use it for another thing and they live outside of time so they're hard to understand but that's what what we know them to be. And it doesn't seem like Beryl is totally against that way of thinking but he also basically says like, Doug I am at the same level of my career as win and going to war with her now Before the next guy is picked is basically career suicide, so I'm gonna have to sit this one out I wish I could help you when he says it's it's up to the profits to decide his future I believe him in a way that I that you just don't believe quen. Right. He's very live and let live about things. He's very circumspect. Yeah, what he means is it's up to Marcus
Starting point is 00:44:50 Lemonus to decide his future. You are no longer the general manager. In addition, you have to take a pay cut. Yeah. To be quite honest about it, I've been a pair of fucking the pay Mr. Bucket. I have to revert back to my state. Mr. Bucket, I have to revert back to my dead state. Oh, I don't use the bucket anymore. After this, continuing adventures of Nila and O'Brien move on, they're doing more investigation on puddle of metal and whether or not it may contain the remains of a dead guy. All science point to yes.
Starting point is 00:45:24 I'll say. Yeah, their magic eight ball based investigation is starting to make it look like this is a foul play. And they have a big McLoughlin group here where the entire senior staff comes into the commander's office. And there's a really fun composition where you've got Bashir and Dex, Odo and Keko and O'Brien all in the shot together. I really like that shot.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I feel like you rarely get the lineup and profile like that on the show. Yeah, definitely stuck out. It's stuck out, and it's also kind of like a huker, like it goes from blue to yellow, stopping in the middle at red. It's a really great looking shot and really stuck out. And it seems like they're starting to think that the two mysteries might be one mystery. Like the mystery of why Vettek win is here, stirring shit up, and the mystery of why did the Starfleet engineer disappear with the tool and get killed. And it's like, it's revealed that he died of a beam weapon. I guess they've
Starting point is 00:46:30 like been able to determine based on the residual matter on, on the tool that he was killed first and then melted. They clearly don't have that same sensor apparatus that they have on the ship in Star Trek 6 where they shoot the mashed potatoes pot with a phaser and every alarm on the ship goes off. As you know, Commander, check off. No one can fire an authorized phaser aboard a star ship. It feels like you could brandish and fire a beam weapon on Deep Space 9 and nothing's going to happen.
Starting point is 00:47:05 It's going to sound like a blender going off at Quarx. The cardacetons were running a real different kind of game. Yeah. It's in this scene in the next scene that it becomes clear that there's a real wedge being driven in between Kira and Sisko, because Sisko is, as he always is, trying to kind of tow the Starfleet line and trying to investigate a murder and keep civil society of Deep Space Nine going.
Starting point is 00:47:35 And she is real fired up about what win is advocating for here. Sisko says all philosophies matter. I'm not going to make the case, I'm not gonna give special dispensation to bejorin religious philosophy here, because I think I'm welcoming everyone under this melting pot of a station. I can't just do that.
Starting point is 00:48:01 This station's such a melting pot. One of our buddies is melted over there. That's what we're going for, Kira. It's such a melting pot that only five kids are left at school, like that who aren't Bajorin. Yeah. So I guess there's that too. I guess they have some indication
Starting point is 00:48:20 that the killer was headed for one of the runabouts or whatever. Yeah. Was it like the tool? You needed the tool to get on the runabout? That was the idea that I had about it, yeah. I guess somebody wanted to steal a runabout. Yeah, I can't remember, but they like try to see if they can pick up the trail at runabout
Starting point is 00:48:42 pad A, and they don't find any evidence. And O'Brien and Nila talk about the dude that got murdered and whether either of them knew him very well, and she's like, no, I don't really like, I don't really fuck with those Starfleet people that much. Like, you're pretty cool, because you're chill and you're my work husband, but the rest of those guys really like, they really act like their
Starting point is 00:49:06 shit doesn't stink and they're not fun to be around. Not like you, Miles. You know your shit stinks. You don't put on any airs. She kind of, I feel like, wants his gym jaw here. Like she makes a pass at him. A little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:23 It would have been interesting to see where this story went if that had come to fruition. Like this is a dude in an unhappy marriage and a woman who spoiler alert has really gotten ratcheted into an extreme way of thinking. And I feel like if they got together right here right now, like started rolling around on RunaboutPad A, the outcome might have been really different. O'Brien is constantly presented with a way out. And good on him, he just never takes it. Yeah, Nila passes up the gym jaw. Well, uh, O'Brien passes up giving her the gym jaw. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:09 Miles be gym jaw, Miles be quick. Miles go under the gym just to... All around the gym jaw clock. Nila wants that gym jaw cock. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha or anything, man. Basically, my only notes for the episode were the lyrics to the Jim Joss song. And who my Shimoda is. O'Brien runs this by Odo. He's like, dog, like, bad news.
Starting point is 00:50:56 We went to the run-up out and we didn't find any new evidence. And Odo's like, that is evidence. Because if all the signs were pointing there, then whoever did the murder would have had to switch which runabout they're trying to get out on. The runabout is the escape pod for this crime that we think may be in the works. And they're talking it through,
Starting point is 00:51:22 talking over the details of what Odo is thinking about when in the background a flash of light and a banger on the station bespeaks an explosion on the other side of the problem. He goes to a lot of trouble to defeat the security net and then it doesn't go through. This is what I'm talking about. School. And unlike the fireball that happens in the hallway at Bashir a couple episodes ago, yeah. This is a practical, like there is a big fucking explosion
Starting point is 00:51:58 and shit comes out of the hole. It looks great. Yeah. It is a really scary explosion. That is the right word because the way they frame it, the fireball fills the frame in a really scary way. And it's one of those explosions that no one survives. Like they're outside of this classroom and it is breathtakingly awful.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Yeah, it is beginning of children of men level explosion. Oh, Brian, like, takes a couple of half steps towards the fireball and is like, Keko, no. My wife, my wife may be in there. Someone's safer, someone hold me back. I said hold me back, damn it. It was like, all right, buddy, I'll hold you back.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Then he puts on a little show, fighting to wanna go in, but it turns out Kiko, Kiko got away unscathed. Kiko is not dead, and we've got to live with that truth the rest of the episode. The fire has died down and the gang is there, like taking a look at the situation, trying to see if there's anything salvageable. It's a total loss, like the school is usblowed.
Starting point is 00:53:34 And. It's a write-off for the station. Yeah, yeah, they were well insured. It took the station like weeks to like put tables up onto their legs and put chairs underneath them. I don't know how long it's going to take to fix this classroom. They should probably just use a cutting torch to cut around it and send it out into space. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Kiko's like, when can we fix my thing up? And Cisco's like, well, most of the engineering crews are already detailed to cleaning the comma out of the hollow suites. And we just don't really have the manpower for it right now. I'm really sorry. Are you saying that your classroom is more important than come clean up? Ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:54:23 How dare you, Kiko. Important work is happening all around us. Nurse Ratchet runs up and is putting on a big show of being concerned for Kiko's safety. The commander comes out and he's really not having any of it. He's not brooking any fake sincerity here in these parts. Yeah, and he basically says some stuff that implies that the kind of crusade that she's been on has inspired if it wasn't directly connected to this act, definitely inspired it in whatever sick fuck did it.
Starting point is 00:55:07 And she really like takes great umbridge at that. And he's like, no, like you come on my station with your holier than thou, like I'm better friends from the prophets, with the prophets than you shit. Like you haven't even met the prophets. I'm their emissary. Who do you speak for? An order that's barely listened to in your assembly. He's saying you're here trying to stir up controversy to make
Starting point is 00:55:28 yourself look good and I don't appreciate it and she staples Vedic Beryl to Susco in this moment. He's as misguided as you are. The guy wouldn't even let me grab his ear earlier. Totally waxed off my reach in. She gets real nasty here, man. She says that Sisko lives in darkness with the Federation. And that the Federation is here to drag Bajor into the darkness. This is the flip side of Prostalistizing, though. Like, it is very rarely only my side is right, come to my side.
Starting point is 00:56:09 It is often equal parts, your side is wrong, and you're going to hell. And that's really what Vedic Winn rides for in this moment. She's like, you're unfit to be the emissary. You're choosing not to embrace my way of life and that makes you not just a neutral party, but a bad person. Yeah, it's that thing, like there's lots of people that are religious
Starting point is 00:56:35 that are able to like coexist with people of other religions. And the second you get like too extreme about it, it becomes like other religions are wrong and those people are a threat to the holiness of the of the situation going on around me. Right. And so yeah, like she, it's really an extremely weak position and a weak amount of a weak amount of faith to feel so easily challenged by a week of amount of a week amount of faith to feel so easily challenged by another person's opinion that way. Definitely. And she acts in this moment like she's gotten the last word in like she's really like
Starting point is 00:57:16 she's really sucker punched Cisco and he does that great thing where he says that's the first mistake you've made. It's like the exact same thing as like, when that guy was trying to get into Reikers head by saying, I'm gonna fuck the anotroy. What is Lloyd Braun doing here? Reikers like, if she likes you and likes fucking you, then that is A-OK by me.
Starting point is 00:57:37 I guess your mother was right. You never could compete with Lloyd Braun! That was one of the best Reikers moments, I think. Yeah, absolutely. And this is a great Cisco riker moments, I think. Yeah, absolutely. And this is a great Cisco moment. He's saying like, hey, listen, we live with bejorins here every day and we disagree with that. What are my best friends as a bejorin?
Starting point is 00:57:59 So it's cool if I say it. No, like we disagree with them and that's okay. We can work together and not always come down on the exact same side of every issue. And I think that's a great and important message. Right. Burial comes up to the station not long after this and decides like now might be the time to talk to Vedic when unchecked her power might be a fire that we can't put out. So I'm going to, I'm going to put myself into the position to, to be a cooling element to these hot tempers.
Starting point is 00:58:37 And so we rolls up to Vedic win's office and she comes in with an eagrab and he's like, no, not a dog. I don't have any quarters in this ear for you to pull out. Forget about it. He sort of does with her hand what everybody does with Michael Burnham in Discovery, which is keeps her away from Vulcan neck pinch range. She's always reaching for somebody's neck and getting her wrist grabbed and the same thing with beryl and win. Keep your hands off my ears.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Beryl is like, hey, I'm glad you're here and talking as though you're not the cause of all this craziness. Like, why don't you and I go like join hand in hand and go make a go make a statement about our common cause, which is peace and understanding. And it's really funny because it's like hand in hand, but the hand that he is holding is the same hand that she used to reach for his ear. And she's still like got the like her her fingers in your grab mode. He's holding on to her claw.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Yeah, he's really a key to her in multiple ways here. And so this starts to become like this, this very tense rising action where O'Brien is on the case of who tried to jake a shuttlecraft and has put lockdowns on all the runabout pads. We've got shots of Nila walking through the crowd toward Burial and Wind. So real in the line of fire vibes going on here, I think. Cross-cutting and the slow motion. Yeah, and the commander joins them up on the stage that I guess has been erected outside of the destroyed school.
Starting point is 01:00:30 I don't know why there's like this raised platform that they keep winding up on outside the school. I don't feel like it was there before. But, yeah, Nila pulls a gun out of her engineer in case, and get a great like like O'Brien tips off Cisco Right at the last moment O'Brien puts it together and Cisco gets a great slow motion no I mean he hits the mini tramp or the or the air ramp and really goes flying Yeah, he does not get in himself in between the beam and Yeah, he does not get in himself in between the beam and barile who is the target here. Now he's not willing to die for this. She licks off the first shot and just misses by a mile.
Starting point is 01:01:12 And really could have hit a bystander up on the second level. Yeah, those folks are really lucky that that stanchion was where it was. If I'm making this episode, it hits an innocent and then that person will help screams over the railing. It's just more fun that way. Yeah, I got to get a will help scream in there if you can't, if you can afford it. This turns into a panic and sisco and the security people grab Nila and take her off and She's doing that thing is she's dragged off too. She's like I acted I
Starting point is 01:01:50 acted in the profit interest like like she she's like Ranting yeah on her way to the cell the crowd is dispersing in fear and and Wayne is trying to slink off and cure like grabs her by the arm. She's like, this was all a plan, wasn't it? Like, you came up here to stir shit up to drive a wedge between the bejurins and the federation so that Beryl would come up here. You did it all to kill him, to stop him from becoming Kai.
Starting point is 01:02:20 And when does not respond? She just looks Kira in the eye and walks away Like the the implication being like I don't have to dignify that with a response But also yeah it me pretty fucked up I wish she would have responded. I wish she would have said something even just I don't have to dignify that with a response would have been An interesting Thing for her to say. You eat these as a shit for breakfast? No.
Starting point is 01:02:51 Yeah, and in that way, the clothes of the first season of Deuce Base 9 ends with that and just the button on Kira. Kira gets the gavel for the end of the first season by sort of expressing like in the aftermath of everything, her feelings about her own faith and how they differ from those around her, not just on the station, but in the religion that she prescribes to itself.
Starting point is 01:03:24 Yeah, and that point she makes about how all of the conflict in her life now seems to be with other bejorans like how to run things. And she's already been through the worst thing in having ongoing daily conflict with the Kardashians. It's a real weird feeling for her to be here now, having to take sides in these new and totally different kinds of fights. I haven't watched, I mean, I don't think it'll surprise anyone who's just jumping into the show with us to know that I don't really remember much of Deep Space 9 and I did not complete watching it when it was on TV, but I wonder if Kira's deal is that she is just attracted to conflict or that conflict surrounds her forever. Like will she ever find peace?
Starting point is 01:04:26 Will she ever be a character who develops deep relationships that give her some gratification, you know, that make her happy? Because the story about her in season one is that she's not. She's deeply unhappy and she finds conflict everywhere and she's in the middle of it. And she's very wounded by what she's been through. Yeah. But I think like it ends on a hopeful note, right?
Starting point is 01:04:55 Like she tells Cisco that he's not the devil and that's, you know, like... Most episodes end with Kira apologizing this is go That's like the big city apology the the Kira apology Well, did you like this episode Adam? No, I didn't I I want to answer that two ways like I Did not like this episode because of how transparent its investigation was. That was not exciting. The reveal was not surprising. That was disappointing to me.
Starting point is 01:05:35 I feel like the show has done a better job in obscuring who the enemy is for longer than this one. Yeah. The implications of a religious conflict among the pejoran people interest me greatly. And I imagine this is going to be a story arc that goes and goes and goes for the rest of it. But for an interesting arc to be beginning in this way
Starting point is 01:06:04 doesn't give me a ton of hope in how something like that might be resolved. What about you? It's an episode that I really want to like, and there's a lot that I like about it. I think Luis Fletcher is a great villain and pretty well established here and really a complex character. You know, she's a, she is a true believer, but also willing to go to great, and to some extent self-compromising lengths for power. I doubt as a true believer she thinks murder is okay, but she was kind of a party to an attempted murder here. And I guess she was a party to a real
Starting point is 01:06:50 murder in the Starfleet officer that disappears, which is like, you know, like I guess not a terribly unusual idea for a religious extremist character, but it's pretty interesting about her. I feel like the misstep is that it's about Kiko in the school, which is something that really hasn't been established as anything. Isn't something that we are that invested in. I wish her conflict had been more directly with Cisco, or with DAX or somebody. The science officer would have been interesting,
Starting point is 01:07:39 or what if she'd come to the station to advocate for locking down the wormhole and only allowing bejurans into it or something. Yeah, I agree. There's an element of the conflict that feels like it's missing here. And I would have preferred that told in a different way too. One place that you and I are totally in agreement on is the Louise Fletcher thing. If you want someone to be, like, she's not evil. Well, I guess she has to be evil because she ordered a terrorist attack. But like, there's, if what you're trying to do is cast someone as someone with supreme confidence in their point of view, irrespective of whether or not that point of
Starting point is 01:08:25 view is bad or evil, like the person who plays Nurse Ratchet is that person. Like, she had almost identical intentions in that film. Right. So nice casting. Nice casting, really nice performance. And I'm glad that character is here because she's an interesting character. Well I'm glad priority one messages are here Ben, you want to see if we have any of those? It's a one of my favorite segments. I almost had like a super mario. It's a one to my favorite segment.
Starting point is 01:09:00 The same thing. Priority one message from Star fleets coming in on secured channel Need a supplement on top of the Top of the Yes extra the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship Been our first priority one message is of a personal nature. It is from Daniel of the long-last name It is for the incoherent ... Daniel knows that we are bad at pronouncing names.
Starting point is 01:09:29 Yeah, thanks Daniel. It is for the incomparable Zoe, alias Riefka. Message goes like this. Dear Zoe, thanks for getting me into the greatest generation and a belated happy birthday. You know how much these things cost, so just imagine what other great gifts you could have gotten if I hadn't ordered a P1. Ben and Adam may never understand our love of holiday episodes, but they understand our love of Major Kira, and that's almost enough. Happy birthday, Zoe. Oh, how very sweet!
Starting point is 01:10:07 Yeah, I'll never understand your love of holiday episodes, that shit is whack! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yeah, a little rude to give a gift that the other person knows the price of, but... I guess so... Yeah, you gotta scratch the price tag off of your P1, there, Daniel. Come on. Give me a break. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:30 Adam our next priority one message is for friends of DeSoto everywhere, and it is from Sarah Crow, Sam Tregar, and Daniel Weir. And it goes like this. Are you suffering from plevimitis? Plevimitis is a serious medical condition. If you like plevim, consult your doctor immediately. Three out of five Facebook TGG mods recommends hashtag Rascals to tell those plevimo files
Starting point is 01:11:01 to go fuck themselves. Ask your doctor if hashtag Rascals is right for you. I feel like we should have gotten the huge laundry list of potential side effects of hashtag Rascals. Yeah, do you think that's right? Maybe they ran out of 350 characters and they figured that they would defy the FDA regulations on that. Wonder when we're gonna get a P1 that's just a bitly link to an essay by or for the rascals.
Starting point is 01:11:33 Right. I feel like this is just the Facebook mods that are rascals writing this on. Is that your interpretation? That is. Yeah, that's what I'm getting from this. Hey, well, thank you for supporting the show, but also thank you for moderating the Facebook. Yeah. That Facebook group is uniquely chill for a Facebook group. Like, the mods and the admin do a great job of keeping it from being a nasty, bad place.
Starting point is 01:12:04 The internet is a horror show, and I have an unhealthy of keeping it from being a nasty bad place. The internet is a horror show and I have an unhealthy relationship with it and that is one of the bright and good places. So I sure am grateful for that corner of the internet. If you are interested in sending a priority one message to someone you love or a priority one message about a business interest you have, you can go to Maximumfund.org slash
Starting point is 01:12:32 gelbotron where personal messages are $100 and commercial messages are $200 and they are one of the great and primary ways to help the ongoing production of this program. True dad. A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it!
Starting point is 01:13:21 The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Sherry Reembarishment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
Starting point is 01:13:44 We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Non-Giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and, boy, what do I?
Starting point is 01:14:22 These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this off. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah?
Starting point is 01:14:35 Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono, Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats.
Starting point is 01:14:51 We came two by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. Rock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, The in the line of fire scene happens. Nila has raised her weapon. Cisco has hit the air ramp. Let us scroll all the way to 4135. This is in the aftermath of shit going down. There's a guy like watching the scrum, like watching Nila getting dragged away. a guy in a green turtle neck.
Starting point is 01:15:48 And he is clearly the guy who just saw something major. And he's like, holy shit, I was there. And he points at my at himself. He's like, I was there. Me. And he walks right behind Cisco and Kira. And he's like, I was there. I was so close. I saw that. Did you see that whole frame? Yeah, and like, anyone who is a part of a thing never pointed themselves.
Starting point is 01:16:15 Like, the whole point of himself is the Shimoda of this moment. It's so dumb. This is about me. Who has an index finger and who just witnessed an assassination? This guy. Sure it is Derek. Yeah. Yeah, so that's my Shimoda.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Who's your husband? My Shimoda in this episode is Morn. Morn is in a couple of funny places in this episode, but the funniest place is when Vettich Braille shows up on Deep Space 9. It's like a big, exciting moment for the public when he is getting off of his ship. And Moreen is among the people that are really like, that are like, they're greeting him at the airlock, punth to see him. And I just love the idea that Morn is like a big,
Starting point is 01:17:11 Vedic barile fan. Yeah. Everyone likes a parade, you know? And I think- He's the first person barile shakes hands with. I think Morn's that kind of guy, like, Morn just wants to go where the action is. Yeah. That's pretty great.
Starting point is 01:17:27 He wants that hammer to be made available to anybody that wants it. Ben, what's coming up on the first episode of season two of Deep Space Nine? The first episode of season two is season two episode one, the homecoming part one. Kira risks her life and war with the Kardashians to rescue a mythical Bajora hero from a distant prison colony. All right. Well, I guess this is the moment where we stop the pod. Adam, we cut the tape and we came back and we have a board game. Against all odds, we actually came up with a board game here. This is actually far more difficult than...
Starting point is 01:18:16 Actually, this was as difficult as I thought it would be. No joke. I think this will be visible to people on the internet. So what do you say, gach.biz slash game? If you want to look at this thing. That's easy to remember. G-A-G-H.DatBiz slash game. So what this is is it's loosely based on the ancient Indian board game of snakes and ladders and it's a it's the game of
Starting point is 01:18:46 buttholes the will of the prophets so there's a number of space buttholes on this board that can move our move our game piece back to a different place there's no cheating and advancing like in snakes and landers, but several of the Several of the game tiles have different mechanics on them and the most abundant Mechanic on this board is Quartz bar, which is you know if we land on that we record the episode while drinking to probably will excess now We also have several other Mechanics available for
Starting point is 01:19:26 random chance. Do you want to go through those? Yeah, in addition to the Quarksbar tile, we have Coco No-no, which is a special teaky thing, a special teaky themed drunk-as-soed bin. I imagine that this is just a variation of Quark's bar. Yeah. And that will make it easier. Quark's bar, but we make a, we have, we both have a coconut. I think Anne Kills are sent us coconuts. Yeah. So we got to make a, we got to make a cocoa no no. All right. And drink a bunch of those. I'd say have a picture at the ready because you're going to drink several over the course of such an episode. I love that picture format.
Starting point is 01:20:08 Yeah, another possibility we have is Starship Mine, which is one that was suggested on the Reddit, which we both thought was really funny, which is build a spaceship model well recording. So I guess we each have to like order a plastic model kit and be building it while we're making an episode. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking maybe we can auction those off on eBay for charity or something once they're done. Yeah. A thing that I'm sure zero people will want. We've caught in the nebula. That's an episode we record where we prevent ourselves
Starting point is 01:20:50 from taking down any notes while watching the episode and just try and do it from memory. Yeah, that'll be great, right? It's so bad. It's equal end opposing force on the game board is a tile called the NTS degree, which is an episode recorded after having done extensive research on the episode. That will be the rare episode where it sounds like we're in the pocket of Big Rod. Right, exactly. measure of a man where we each have to like pick a side and argue for it on the episodes
Starting point is 01:21:27 that will like flip a coin and whatever the episode was no matter what our actual opinion was, we have to like high school debate style defend or attack the episode. Okay, I can do that. I can I can fraudulently give you an opinion for sport. Yeah. There's also, watch out for it, the naked now. Landing on the square will mean that you and I will record our episodes Roderick style from Inside a Bath tub.
Starting point is 01:22:04 I want to be super clear about this. Separate bathtubs, separate states. Really want to make sure that we're efficient on that podcast recording bend, because I don't wanna get those raisin fingers. Oh yeah, yeah. And the water can cool off, can got a really like cruise through those ones. And the, you know, the water can cool off. Got it.
Starting point is 01:22:25 Yeah. Got it really like, cruise through those ones. Does it gonna be shivery shimotas at the end? And we've got a square called, fuck it, we'll do it live. And we haven't quite worked this out, but I guess our idea here is we'll do webcam and tell people ahead of time when we're gonna do it
Starting point is 01:22:47 and we'll record the episode on a livestream so people can watch. Could be a disaster. Who knows? See how the fudge is packed. That's a way of saying that. And that's it, all of these. I think we have one last one, Adam.
Starting point is 01:23:03 Oh, shoot. The most important one in many ways. Right. Tile number 100, the end of the road for us is called Mornhammer 2. The way we envision this is that the game will be in play for the rest of our run on Deep Space 9. But anytime we get to tile 100, what happens, Adam? That is a power hour episode, Ben. And if you don't know what a power hour is,
Starting point is 01:23:30 that is 60 shots of beer in 60 minutes. And that's about the time of one of our podcast episodes that links up real nice. It will present an interesting editing challenge as well because usually we edit a bunch. God, we might want to turn that into a fuck it, we'll do it live, huh? We'll see, we'll see. We've taken great care to spread these, these tiles around because I know you and I both
Starting point is 01:24:00 talked a lot about not fucking with the show too much. Right. The show, we love the show pretty much as is, we want these special tiles to be special occasions and not every week things. So that's what we're approaching this from. If there are a number of wormholes where we can get caught and go into a tile that has a thing on it, but most like the vast majority of the tiles are empty and will be regular episodes. And yeah, I'm looking forward to this new thing, Adam. Should we roll them bones and see what we got?
Starting point is 01:24:36 Now's as good a time as any. We're starting on tile one and I rolled a one so we are moving on to tile two which is a quirk's bar Drink! It was the antidote! Fuck! Ha ha ha ha ha I got stuff to do today man! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Starting point is 01:24:58 Alright! Ha ha ha ha ha ha God! Oh! Sorry dude. Well, thanks Ben for mostly designing this board game on your own. Also want to thank Dark Materia for our theme music and Adam Ragusia for all the rest of our great music here on the show.
Starting point is 01:25:19 If you'd like to support the show, and uh... Stuck the fridge! Yeah, and Stuck the fridge, because this is going to, this is definitely going to affect the bottom line. Go to maximumfund.org slash donate. And you can also support the show for free by recommending it to your friends and going on your podcasting service of choice and giving us a nice review. That is always appreciated.
Starting point is 01:25:46 So with that we'll be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek Deep Space 9 and an episode of the greatest generation Deep Space 9 which drunkenly goes behind enemy lions. lol The maximum fun dot or comedy and culture, artist owned. Listener supported.

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