The Greatest Generation - Sub-Innocent Crushing (ENT S1E16)

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

When Tucker and Reed return from an away mission to find wreckage from the NX-01, their busted shuttlepod systems leave them stranded with just a few days of air. But when facing their mortality in different ways leads to very un-immaculate vibes, getting drunk and blowing up their engine are two of the three things they can agree on. What do power strips next to the bed indicate? Where’s the bathroom on the shuttlepod? Which of these two drunks is also a Shimoda? It’s the episode with a pink lipstick problem.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

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All of this stuff is going to sell out, so don't wait. Greatestgentour.com. Here's to the finest crew in Star Trek. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to the Greatest Generations, the Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison.

I'm Adam Pranica. It's an episode that falls into a pretty long tradition of two crew members stranded and they're super cold. Yeah. In Star Trek. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there's one that was more recent than this, but the one that I'm thinking of when you make that description is the one with Odo and Quark, right?

Yeah, and Quark has the pants and Odo has the jacket. Yeah. So you tell me, which one of us is the bigger failure? That was a fun one. Yeah, there was the one where they're in spacesuits in Voyager. I think it's Tom and Volana are stranded in spacesuits. That's right. I'm glad the last thing I'll see is you.

I've been a coward about everything. That was a new twist on an old favorite. Yeah. That was neat. There probably isn't one where they're cold in TNG. There's the one where Picard and Wesley are stranded on that planet with the guy that's secretly drinking booze. Surely you have emergency supplies?

This isn't a starship. That's a hot episode. Yeah, that one goes in the other direction. So they're all little variations, but- In which temperature do you prefer to suffer, Ben? I'm always happier to be cold than, too cold than too hot, I think. Wow.

I think I might be the opposite. Just kind of a permanently cold hands and feet. Yeah. And one of the great parts of moving to LA from Seattle was, was that part of me going away, like I don't have cold hands and feet anymore. I think living here is a big part of it. Yeah. That's uncomfortable for everyone involved.

I just run hot. So I'm always trying to get away from that. And yeah, I think everybody that that's one way is doomed to spend their life with a partner who is the opposite. So my wife is constantly too cold and we're like, you know, I'm like turning the fan on in our bedroom at nighttime. And she's like, like this sucks. I'm going to die of hypothermia.

Please turn the fan off. And I'm like, cool. Well, I guess I'll just sleep on top of the blankets. Ah, that sucks. and I'm like, cool, well, I guess I'll just sleep on top of the blankets. Ah, that sucks. I've read about those beds that circulate water through them, not water beds, but like they have

a little mattress topper with a mesh in them that cycles the water, that keeps it cool. I mean, those things are so cost prohibitive. And also it puts a little unit next to your bed that I think makes a noise. Not unlike a CPAP machine that you might be familiar with. Right. I, uh, I only want one unit anywhere near my bed. I mean, when you're breaking out power strips next to the bed for reasons, not sexual, that's not fun, right? That's aging.

No, you try to avoid that as much as you can. Although, yeah, like we're looking at putting some better air management in my office, among other parts of this building. And we were thinking about like in-floor heating. And I guess that's kind of that water cycling through your mattress would be kind of the, uh, the inverse of that. I mean, is that not what radiant flooring does? I guess it does through electricity, but is there not a version like, cause I know there's a version that. No, it's running water through the floor.

Like, yeah, those stuff that they lay down as pipes of water and it just like heats the water up and then runs it through the floor. Like, yeah, those- Oh, cool. The stuff that they lay down is pipes of water and it just like heats the water up and then runs it through the floor. That's great. I've seen that done for driveways and stuff. Like in the Midwest, you want to keep a driveway that you don't have to shovel. That's living.

I have only ever been in one house that had this, but it was so pleasant. We were in Santa Fe, New Mexico in November and it was quite cold outside. And that like walking around with your tootsies being the first part that's getting heated up, really great. I don't usually want there to be heat of any kind. And I was like, I can really appreciate this. When you're curled up on the floor of the bathroom next to the toilet,

it does feel nice to not have it be so cold. Precisely, precisely. Well, let's get super cold with our friends, Tripp and Malcolm. Yeah. And today's episode of Star Trek Enterprise Shuttle Pod One. ["Suttle Pod 1. Our cold open is in the titular shuttle. It's cruising through an asteroid field with Reed and TripTucker aboard.

And they've arrived at the pre-determined meeting spot where Enterprise is supposed to be. Yeah, but they're way early. Enterprise isn't there. It seems like Enterprise should have had like a lot to do here. Cause the idea was that they were charting this asteroid field and it's got several planetesibles, which is a word I'd never heard before, but I really like. It's a, it's a planet. The word planet merged with the word infinitesimal.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, a lot of those floating around. Yeah, it doesn't seem like it's the sort of work that you'd ever be done with, right? If that's your job? Yeah, like that's the thing about an asteroid field, like the churn seems insane whenever we see these in movies and television. There's just, like the rocks tumbling around must hit each other and break apart from time to time. Like, what's the point of even attempting to map it? It's like trying to map Boba.

It's like mapping a corn maze where the corn grows at an accelerated rate and some die at the same time. It's constantly changing. Hmm. Yeah, it's terrifying to think about Oh, yeah, and there's that guy hitting an axe through the bathroom door Here's Johnny Malcolm's a little worried about this, but a trip is not tripping and The shuttles also fucked up like a lot of stuff isn't working the mood is so interesting in this first scene, right? Because it doesn't feel like the big deal

that it becomes after this cold open. At this point, it just feels like a maintenance issue that Tripp Tucker can't wait to address. Like he's in those guts right now. He can't wait to get stuff fixed once they get back on enterprise. It doesn't feel like an emergency. No, cause they're like, they're having like light debates over how sweet it

would have been if the Vulcans had met Europeans first. And that in, in this idealized future includes British people. No, what a thing. What a thing to consider. Yeah, they're, they're kind of trying to not worry too much when they find this debris field on, I guess, do you think this was a, an asteroid or was this big enough to be a planetesimal? I always thought asteroid was bigger than planetesimal. I don't know why. Oh really?

Yeah. Had you heard planetesimal before? I don't know where I'd that. Oh really? Yeah. Had you heard planetesimal before? I don't know where I'd heard it, but this was not a new word to me. Wow. That never happens. I know. Oh my God. First time. And the show feels new again.

After all these years, we have to find things like that. Amazing. A horrifying thing that Reed sees out of the view screen, there's a bunch of debris on one of these asteroids and they don't have working sensors, so they have to use the original sensors to figure out what this is. Of course, I'm talking about the eyes and scattered on the surface of this thing are a lot of parts, parts that could be from any sort of ship. But one part in particular has the number zero one on it in a font that could only be from our beloved enterprise, NX01.

Yeah. And that's a fairly convincing argument that enterprise went down with all hands. I was a little distracted in this scene because you do see the back bumper of the shuttle pod and there's a sticker that says, asteroid, gastroid or grass-teroid, no one rides for free. I love that. Yeah, and we just copy pasted it right into Podshop.biz, so go buy yourself a bumper sticker. Just a note on that, I mean, no bad ideas at this point.

Can one of them be planetasimal? Planetasimal's good. You know, both variations, you know? Okay. People can vote. Do they like Ben or do they like Adam? Let's put them both in the store and then we'll start keeping track. So after the theme, hey, there's Enterprise. Yeah.

Everything seems all good. They don't seem dead at all and this doesn't seem like a flashback at all. Now, now we're in Archer's ready room when Hoshi walks in to update him about the rescue that they had to do recently of some folks who just couldn't get it in the garage. This is a Tesnian ship that they're talking about and it was destroyed while trying to dock with Enterprise.

And one of Enterprise's garage doors is fucked up. I love that we never see these guys. I love that they all have to be decontaminated. Like, we are decontaminating dozens of dirty aliens offscreen the entire time this episode is going on. You better fucking hope that you're a smooth-skin alien when it comes time to decontaminate because that lube is getting everywhere.

Oh, imagine being in there with a Nausicaa trying to rub that into their spiky ass back. I mean, imagine getting it out if you're a Nausicaa. Going in there with a toothpick, digging it out of all the little crevices. It's a lot of work. That's probably what turned them so angry over the course of the centuries, right? Decontaminate, ass crack, human.

Hey, want to know what dry lubricant feels like over 90% of your body? No thanks. This feels momentous. It's kind of the first Uber mission for the entrepreneur. And I thought it was interesting that the Testnian's systems got all fucked up right as the, uh, as the docking procedure was taking place. Uh, sounds a little bit familiar. One aspect to what happened that is crucial.

And that happens a little earlier in the episode than I had hoped is the recognition that it is the Testnian ship that has crashed on that asteroid and not Enterprise. I kind of wanted the mystery a little bit longer. That's just me. Yeah, I dig it. They're like, let's go take a peek at what they done to our ship.

And they hop in a shuttle and T'Pol is talking about how maybe microsingularities cost this because she thinks that there were some at that asteroid field. And Archer almost laughs at her. He's like, that's a superstitious Vulcan thing. We do not believe in micro singularities here on

this human ship. He dismisses her so utterly. It's like, Archer is not a micro singular spheracy believer. Get out of here with that hogwash. Yeah. It's so condescending. Like pitching an air traffic controller on the earth being flat.

It's like, shut the fuck up. I love a drive around the Starship scene though. That part's fun. Yeah. We cut back to Malcolm and Tripp and they are trying to think through how this could have happened, how everybody on the

entrepreneur could be dead. No lifeboats detectable in the area and they would have been nearby because they don't move that fast. So they're like, shit what do we do? Like broadcast a distress signal or something? But everything's everything's fucked up. They can't just do that. It's like getting stuck in an elevator. Triptucker immediately declares one corner a toilet. You don't, we have a toilet on the shuttle pod trip. Do they?

They have to. Where? You have to. That's like the- But where? We see the hole inside. I didn't see a curtain you could pull around a latrine. It's gotta be a little bloop you hit in the wall and then something comes out. And something folds out. Yeah, that has to be it.

Is it just like a shop vac with two hoses? You better believe it. So yeah, everything is pretty much offline except for like thruster controls and life support and life support is not an infinite thing on this show. They've got 10 days of air and I thought they did a nice job with the way two characters handle both the grief of thinking all of their friends are dead and also like being completely sure that they're going to die now because of that. There's this equation that they're trying to sort out, right? 10 days of breathable air,

what's in a distance of 10 days at the speed that they're traveling, if their priority is living or if it's to their bodies in the shuttle pod being recovered primarily, all of this mixes up into a scene that causes a huge argument between them. Trip wants to just point the ship in the direction of Echo 3, which is one of their communications was. Echo 3, which way to Echo 3? I told you it's too far.

They have a, like an emergency broadcast kit for going on away missions that has limited range, but he'd like to see how close they can get to a signal repeater so that at the very least the shuttle and their birdies can be discovered after they're long dead. that at the very least the shuttle and their birdies can be discovered after their long dead. With so few of the shuttle systems being functional, it seems extremely desperate, desperate enough to put on hot pink lipstick, which is what both

of these actors look like. What? In the last moments of this scene, when they take one last look at the debris on the asteroid before setting a course, did they look like they had the brightest, glossiest pink lipstick on? I don't know, man. Maybe you need to look at the color settings on your TV.

I did not get that. Wow. Yeah. It seemed like something was going on there in the makeup department. of it. So we get a Reads log and this is a we're gonna die so here's what happened log and they were out testing something with the targeting scanners on their shuttle. They hit a banger, they don't know what the banger was, so they decided to head back to the rendezvous and this is something he's attempting to record while Tripp tries

to pepper in little wise ass interjections and stuff. I loved the idea of editing the audio out. I don't think we've ever seen this in Star Trek, somebody making a log and being like, I guess people have gone back and corrected themselves, but editing somebody else out was very funny to me. I liked seeing the analog buttons here in close-up. That was cool. Yeah. Ben, I think you could really speak specifically

to this idea, the idea of like trying to do the work of taking something seriously and then having someone constantly interrupt you, thinking that they're funny or whatever. Like that has to be the most annoying thing, right? It can be frustrating, especially when you're trying to fix the ship while you're flying it. Right. Because Trip is not being fatalistic. Like he is wrenching on things in the back, Like he is wrenching on things in the back, trying to repair the ship in a way that

Reed just isn't helping. Like there's no attempt to fix the problem on Reed's part in a weird way. May God have mercy on our souls. Why don't you cut the crap and get back here and help me? It's the single room problem also. Like I think people of these two temperaments can coexist in a stressful situation like this

if there's some kind of barrier between them, some sort of privacy. But they shouldn't book a 22 show tour that they pack into the last half of a single year, is what you're saying. Yeah. It's evidence that they're just not on the same page. The vibes are not immaculate, let's just say.

No. Do you think maybe they're just hangry? Maybe they're just hangry. Let's break out some Starfleet MREs, which are delightfully multicultural and looked really good. Like when we got a closeup of the, uh, of the Chilean sea bass, I was like, damn, I would fuck with that. Alejandro's prepared a delightful menu for us. Chilean

sea bass, I believe. Uh, shall we? Are you a person when you pack for the shuttle pod mission that brings all the same field ration that is your favorite? Or are you bringing one of each like it seems like they've done here? I was surprised that there were no duplicates. Yeah. I mean, it's a big bench that they're digging into. Yeah. Doesn't seem like it's that full.

I would say maybe load that fucker up with MREs so that if both people want the meatloaf, both people can have the meatloaf. I would love to see that YouTube MRE guy try some Starfleet MREs. He always gets ones from the past. He's never gotten them from the future, you know? I know. What would he think of future bourbon? This is a bottle that has been produced here.

Tripp chooses the meatloaf maybe because that goes best with bourbon. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Reed goes with the sea bass. Insufficiently pineapple-y for him, but you know, an important storm. I think of these choices, he guesses the one most likely to have pineapple and-

He does, for sure. Yeah, and he just strikes out here. It's too bad. He's shooting fish ropes. I feel like there has been meatloafs with pineapple rings on top of them in history, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, it's because Tripp took the one that is actually most likely to have pineapple.

Yeah, and if you're having a Hawaiian sea bass, maybe you'd have a pineapple ring right on top. It'd be delicious. Reed will not stop writing fucking letters, and it's starting to drive Tripp Tucker a little bit crazy. I just need to get some sleep, Malcolm. Is that so hard to understand? This turns into another fight.

Eventually, Reed wakes up in Six Bay. He's being told by the captain that he did something very heroic to save Trip Tucker. The captain declines to specify what? He's like, I'll tell you more about it tomorrow, just for now, like rest up. He and Flocks leave so that T'Pol can reveal that this is not in fact reality, but a sex dream. How early into this scene were you getting the, my name is Barash vibes?

Something was off with DePaul's haircut, I thought, that gave it away. Either it was darker brown, this could just be the pink lipstick problem. Like maybe, maybe something was happening with the color on my TV, but yeah. Did somebody hold a magnet up to the screen recently? I felt like this was fake basically from jump. Hmm. Yeah. I mean, it's like, I think, um, the two of us have watched so many hundreds of episodes of Star Trek now that the story math doesn't work.

They can't be rescued now. That's too early in the story structure. Don't you feel like this is a more future imperfect scenario than the one Riker was in though? It feels like Riker should have been more sexy. And this one should have been more close your mouth and stop talking. I couldn't believe how long this went on. Because like the reveal is the reveal. And then you've got quite a bit more scene where he starts like doing embarrassing shit and calling himself stinky.

And that's like, you can see the sleep talker gag coming a mile away. And you're like, all right, like we get it. You've established this wake him up now. And it just keeps going. You know how infinity has been described as cutting something in half over and over and over again, I feel like that's the closing rate of to Paul into Reed space in this scene. Like, it's so slow.

If every first kiss was this slow, it never would have happened for me. Yeah, Zeno's meet-cute, uh, forestalled the existence of the romantic comedy. Yeah. Yeah. So he wakes up, Trip has gotten the radio receiver working and Malcolm is finding out in real time

that he's not gonna get to fuck to Paul and also he's not a hero. How great of a choice was him getting up and going straight for the one chair and facing the other way? Yeah. I mean, they're short on navigation tools, but with the sundial he's rocking in his pants, it could be pretty useful up near the window.

Yeah. He said, he did say he wanted a sextant earlier and there it sits. Banger! And air is escaping? And where is it from? It's a cause to freak out. It seems like maybe there's two holes in the shuttle pod. Yeah, I liked the trick of putting some smoke in the air

so they could figure out where it was leaving through. It would have been a great time for next to the bourbon bottle trip to find the real cigarettes down there. It's fun to do bad things. Starts ripping. Yeah, just like that MRE guy on YouTube. Pretty fun. Yeah, so two holes in the ship.

And like a pair of little Dutch boys, they plug their fingers into them before creatively reusing the mashed potatoes from Tripp's meal as a sealant. What these two holes are is it's like a through and through, right? Like one thing punched two holes in them. Are you telling me that the consistency of these potatoes is so gritty, I'm just gonna say anti-creamy even,

that they would stuff that hole and then stop, like a spackle? I guess. What is going on here? How did it not just suck the mashed potatoes out? What we don't really get a great sense of is how big the aperture is on this hole. Like if it's a pea,

I think you have a very legitimate concern, but if it's like sub whole hole. Like if it's a pea, I think you have a very legitimate concern, but if it's like submicro hole... It's smaller than a mashed potato molecule. And so that's... And so mashed potato molecule is bigger than hole in hole. Well known patch system for Russian submarine. We don't get the scene where Trip cleans mashed potatoes off of his boot though. Oh yeah. Face of the fart. Don't think I don't see your posts online about how great Adam's Squarespace ad reads

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Thank you. And remember, no running in the halls. ["The Greatest Gin Alive"] And you will never take the greatest in a life. Ben would rather die. This was a real fucker because it cost them eight of their remaining days of air. They're now down to two days of air and they're

trying to like figure out what did this. It doesn't really make sense that it would have been a meteor because their hull armor should be plenty strong to stop a meteor of that size. So we can do the mental math of what this was, but they, they haven't heard to Paul's weird conspiracy theories yet. I mean, they do wonder if this was the sort of thing that could have destroyed enterprise back there.

Right. Cause this seems like a pretty dangerous region of space now. It does. They start like reminiscing about a bar back on Earth and a babe named Ruby that they discover they both had a little thing for. She was the one. There's no doubt about it. Man, I didn't know that you were talking about her. Ah, Ruby.

Ruby? You don't mean the waitress Ruby. You knew Ruby? Messing with the same girl. Same girl. I need to have more times than I can remember. Ouch. You ever in a moment of, I don't know,

contemplation or whatever, you ever get haunted by a great experience you had from a service worker at a bar or restaurant from many, many, many years ago? Like sometimes those things will just come back to me. The way that this one seemed to in the shuttle, like, oh God, that place was great. Do you remember that person? Holy shit, she was great. Like it just comes flooding back Well, it sounds like they were getting more than just restaurant service from this lady. Do you think I thought it was just an innocent crush I thought these were just innocent men. Oh

I think in Tripp's case innocent crush in Reed's case sub innocent crushing. Oh He was filling her hole with mashed potatoes. Well, to keep the air in. We'll be right back. So yeah, they come up with this idea that they can buy themselves another half a day of air if they turn the heat off in the shuttle. They agree to my preferred state, which is suffering in the cold, but living longer. I feel like you probably would have come down on the other side of this argument.

I mean, it sure makes shaving a terrible idea if what you're about to be is very cold. Grow out that beard, Reed. Yeah. They did After Five Shadows with actual stubble this time, which I thought was interesting. It's pretty fun. They must have seen how bad it looked when they did it with hobo face paint earlier and they were like, we got to figure something else out for that. Yeah. Those Halloween costume photographs have hopefully been destroyed.

Back on entrepreneur, T'Pol now has evidence of this micro singularity thing that took out the Tesnian ship and she says a bunch of them hit the Entrepreneurs Hall as well but dissipated because their hull plating was on and she's pretty excited about this in her Vulcan way because she's like cool scientific discovery Archer and I thought it was funny that Archer was for once, not psyched about being, you know, on the team that discovers a thing, you know? Right. But this is also a scene where he does that thing

where he cannot wait to be on the other side of an issue with T'Pol. Like, how could you care about science at a time like this? That's reading trip out there. Yeah. They're suffering. Yeah.

One distracting thing about this scene. I wonder if you noticed this. Does it look like there is just an absolute stack of high school rental clarinet cases on Archer's shelf in this scene? I didn't notice those. Why does he have so many of those? I didn't notice those. Why does he have so many of those? That seems like space that could be taken up

by water polo balls that are nowhere to be seen. Will we ever have a second hit segment of polo, polo, or poyo? I don't know. Maybe not. I didn't know it was such a rough game. I don't know, man. Sucks. So yeah, he does not give a shit about the scientific discoveriness of this. I didn't know it was such a rough game. I don't know, man. It sucks.

So yeah, he does not give a shit about the scientific discoveriness of this. He wants his boys home and now he's worried about them. This is the first time anybody has been like, hey, maybe we should check in on the shuttle given that our plans have changed. W slash R slash T, Ubering the Tesneons around. Uh, whence the tether, you know?

Like this is the reason. Yeah. You want a tether. If you go out in a... I don't mean a literal tether. I mean any kind of tether. Leave a fucking note on the fridge when you leave the asteroid field. This is what I'm saying.

This is madness. Yeah. We cut back to that asteroid field and Shuttle pod one, where now that the temperature has been turned way down in the shuttle, Reed and Trip are wearing like, Enterprise jackets. And Reed is writing a very flowery letter to Deborah. And I was surprised.

I was like, if you want to establish that the, this scene is super cold, he should be writing that letter to Ruby from the bar. Ouch. I love that. Why not bring up Ruby again? Why not put them in competition for Ruby's affection? If Tripp had to sit there and listen to Reed

write the Ruby letter, and then Tripp was like, fuck you, I'm writing a ruby letter. All we know about Reed is that he likes pineapple. But what if in this scene it is made clear that he has done this hundreds of times to hundreds of women writing these letters? It sounds like he has. If his body count was just exceptional. Yeah. Back on Earth anyways.

Yeah, like, Trip calls him out for, like, having written the same letter over and over again, and he's like, I didn't say Rochelle had a beautiful smile. It was her ass that we all appreciated. She got a great ass! I mean, her ass could have a little smile to it too, right? Depending on the shape. I guess so.

Trip is like not doing this. Like the, you know, self eulogizing is entirely something of Reed's doing. Why wouldn't you let your death be a mystery with some heroism to it instead of like everyone in your life getting a letter and removing all doubt. Like, there's nothing cool about that. Nobody less metal than Malcolm Reed.

No, definitely not. It's last meal time, Ben. They're really up against it now. And time, Ben. They're really up against it now. And instead of eating, Tripp breaks out the bottle. If anything, it feels like the drinks might help them with the cold, right? I know that's not supposed to be true, but I think for a moment, it probably feels pretty good. Have a little warmth in the chest, in the tum. Yeah. There's a reason they put that little barrel of alcohol on the, uh, Mountain Dogs collar for, uh, people lost in the, in the Alps or whatever. Yeah. So the Mountain Dog can have a little reward once it finds the person. Yeah.

A little nip for you, a little nip for me. What dog doesn't love a sniffed or a brandy? What else is in the under panel of a shuttle pod? Cause Tripp breaks out a candle? This is great. Yeah. I like that it was like a techno candle too. And what's weird about this candle is once Tripp lights it, there is a very handsome

man that appears and seduces them both in this cloud of green smoke. Yeah. All that matters is that I'm here now. The fucking jawline on this man. He doesn't have to wear a lot of clothing. He's a ghost man. A ghost man. Tin man.

You know, you could forgive him for lighting that because nobody warned him. Do not light the candle! You know what he's not? A ghost dad! So, yeah, they get into another argument about how Morose and Goth Reed is acting. What's your problem with having a little hope? What's your problem with facing the truth? You're a regular grim reaper, Malcolm. Anyone ever tell you that?

This is like his big, you know, Emmy nomination scene, I feel like. He talks about how he's like writing all these letters to all these women because he actually never really got close to any of them. And the only people he's ever truly felt like he was getting that to that place with were the crew of the enterprise and they're all dead now. So he's really fucking sad. Check out the fucking ego on this guy. Like a string of relationships that didn't go anywhere

because he wouldn't make himself available emotionally or otherwise to them. He goes and dies. They've gone off and found better people, like better companions to be with. Like they've moved on. All of a sudden getting a letter from Reed going like, hey, I mean, we could have been the one or whatever,

but now I'm dead. I guess we'll never know. Yeah. Anyway. Think of me from time to time. Gorgeously, Malcolm. They're like, who is this? Yeah.

Like way to drag them back into your fucked up shit. Yeah, they have to like go back through their old Facebook messages to find out which fuck boy died. Yeah. Oh, that guy? I haven't thought of that guy in years. He had a terrible haircut.

Great taste in ropes though. Wish I could get the new guy to get on that rope level. He won't take that special pill you have to take in order to not be allergic to pineapple. God, my greatest regret about this whole relationship isn't that he died, it's that I can't ask him how he got his ropes to taste like that. And now I feel true sadness about his death. I'd give anything for one more shot with those ropes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trip feels like shit for having been a dick to read about their fallen crew. Isn't this the thing when you get drunk with a good buddy?

It's like, maybe you'll fight. Maybe you'll hug each other like the best friends that you are, but like, there's like, maybe you'll fight, maybe you'll hug each other like the, like the best friends that you are. But like, there's always like this sequence of, of like, you go through the stages of getting a good drunk on with a buddy. Yeah, yeah. And it includes all of this. Getting blind drunk together is really the only way to say farewell. I think that a lot of people, you know,

that aren't straight men don't know that by the end of the night we are cuddling under the same blanket together talking about which girls butts we like. You ever noticed that bum? What? Reed is definitely a butt man. Yeah. A butt man.

Tin man. A bum man? Yeah. He doesn't need legs. He has legs. Reed tells Tripp, have you noticed that on Enterprise, like we always tend to see T'Pol walking out of a room at the end of scenes that we're in? Like it's uncanny.

We're in there doing Enterprise work, whatever work that is. And then like she comes in, does her bit of business, turns around and leaves. We're seeing it all the time. What's up with DePaul's butt? All conversation dies out as she leaves. A little musical leitmotif plays. She's got an awfully nice bum. Just then, a radio calm channel that they've left open for probably hours to listen to,

it starts to crackle a little bit. And what do you know? It's the sound of a ship and not just any ship. It's Hoshi. I love the run to the front of the shuttle to listen to this. And it made me realize that they actually cooled the room off that they shot this in so much that they're making steam with their breath, which is like-

Did you think that that was real steam? I think it was. Wow. Did you think it was digital? Kind of did, but I also thought that they were wearing pink lipstick, so don't listen to me. So Hoshi is on the radio and they are very excited to be hearing a familiar voice attached to a person whom they had assumed was dead. And it's a moment of real glee in a way that really made me think like they

don't have this feeling in Star Trek very often. They're like, yes, fuck yes! Or saved! Like, that's such a rare kind of feeling to experience in Star Trek. And that they dump ice water on it, like, almost immediately. It's such a gut punch. The scene is so weird to me because the headline is, enterprise was not destroyed and everybody's still alive. And that in this moment is not a thing.

I kind of wanted the cast away moment of like a different kind of emotion. Like maybe even a combination of the two emotions of like a chance of being saved, yes, but all of these people that I thought were dead are now alive. And the second part is completely absent from this moment. I missed it.

Yeah, the bucket of ice water comes when they realize that the entrepreneur is two days out and so they need to buy themselves about 12 hours of oxygen. And they've kind of thought of everything for stretching the taffy on this already. There's not much they can do to extend anything. The shivers have really set in. If you want an example of act cold as an actor,

I thought this was it. I thought, I thought the shaking that was happening here was great. It felt real. It felt scary. It felt painful. The way that being very cold really is. Yeah. It was good stuff. Looked like it hurts so good. So the other idea is what can we do to get the entrepreneur to speed up because we repaired the receiver of the radio, but the transmitter still doesn't work. So they start to talk about like an explosion in space. And the idea Reed suggests is jettison the impulse engine and blow that up and we'll get their attention. And Tripp is very against this. He's like, I'm an engineer.

If we blow up our engine, I'm just an ear. That's so fucking good. I could never do that. That's so fucking good. I could never do that. Kind of sad though that Tripp does not consider himself separate from the job that he does. You're a whole person, man. You're not the job that you do. Wouldn't you like instead to make engine go boom boom?

Yeah. Who wouldn't? Yeah. Sounds really't? Yeah. Sounds really fun. So this is the plan they agreed to. And from the exterior, we see the impulse drive fly away from the shuttle pod and the massive explosion that happens when they detonate it. I thought it was interesting how they portrayed ship in motion versus ship adrift from the perspective

of inside the shuttle pod. It really felt different. Yeah, I mean, like I also wondered like a huge amount of the like energy payload of this shuttle must have been shunted toward moving it toward Echo 3. And we've learned the explosions of things near ships can propel them. Yeah. I was wondering if this would do anything for that.

It does. Like, it does like shove them a little bit, but yeah, it's not like a wave that they surf or anything. So, our next little beat is them like betting how much air they have left. And it's only 10 hours and that means Trip wins. Prize is the bottle of bourbon. What's left of it? Yeah. There's only like one or two fingers left, right?

Colonel Tai would pour that into a... A mesh wastepaper basket with crumpled up paper in it. What if he'd done that? Like, here's just a quick punch up on this episode. Reed writes that letter to Ruby after they established that they both had a thing for Ruby. Ouch. Then Tripp wins their bet over how much oxygen they have left,

wins the bourbon, pours it out on the floor while making, like, really shitty eye contact with Reed. I love it. I love that. I mean, a tag to that might be Tripp doing this as he goes up the ladder, to the airlock that he has said he will blow himself out of in order to create an amount of livable air that makes it possible for Reed to live long enough to meet up with Enterprise. This gets to be the biggest argument of all because they get so mad at each other that

Reed actually pulls a gun on Tripp and he's threatening to stun Tripp to stop him from self-spacing. And this made me wonder, like, wouldn't a body that had been stunned by a phaser. Yeah. Use less oxygen. So wouldn't, wouldn't that be a good compromise? Like actually, like, why don't you just stun me? And that'll like at least that'll buy you a quarter

of what me going out the airlock would have bought you. I would shoot Tripp and myself in that moment. T'Pol might've fucked Reed if they'd gotten home and she found out that he shot him. I know. Uh... Ha ha ha. Their faces are close enough in this moment

to share a churro during this argument. They're absolutely on top of each other. You know this makes it harder for me, right? Yeah, just make out already, you two. That, like, fight with the faces close does inevitably feel like the sensual tension is about to break whenever I see it in a show or a movie. But through decades of media watching,

it's just TV close is not real life close. It's compositional. Speaking of strange TV techniques, we get maybe the longest fade to black. Like a good old fashioned three second fade to black here. Yeah. Yeah. You drop the effect on the end of your clip and then you like drag it over.

And it's like, the default is one second. Are you sure you want to triple that? Pretty fun. Steve-Vault is one second. Are you sure you want to triple that? Pretty fun. Reed wakes up again in a bio bed in Six Bay and to somewhat less fanfare. They're not talking about like what a great hero he is, but the fact that he and Tripp had pretty bad hypothermia and it's been a long process to bring their core

temperatures up, the captain and DePaulPol and Phlox are there and they seem pretty happy to have him back, but not so happy that T'Pol is going to reward him with that ass. Yeah, there's a much longer closing distance between her face and his in this scene. You could even argue that it's getting further away, really. Yeah. Good night, really. Yeah.

Good night, Lieutenant. She seems very perplexed about what's happening just below his waist. I mean, what's got to be going on down there is the coldest erection that's ever happened. It's crazy. Yeah. Would that help? Would that help warm you up though? The blood starts really pumping? I don't know. There needs to be a study. The hypothermic dong.

Yeah. Yeah. What happens? Did you like this episode wants you to decide whether or not you are a read or a trip tucker. So I'm going to ask you, Ben, after watching shuttle pod one, do you think you are a read, which is the, uh, the, the cold letter writing person who is accepted your fate and using what time you have left to just like write a bunch of letters to waitresses you've loved over the years, or are you a TripTucker? A person who wants to grind it out until the very end, optimistically.

I think that the way I relate to TripT Tucker more in this episode is about him trying to fix shit. Yeah. Like everything he fixes is one more percentage point on the survivability of this mission for them. And to see Reed like give no effort in that respect was a little dismaying. Like I know he doesn't have like have the same skillset that Tripp Tucker does, but it seems like he could have been

like, you know, handing him tools, doing something to help, you know? I feel exactly the same way. And I think this was a horrifying read episode for that reason. I just don't understand how there can be no effort put toward life extension of any kind. The selfishness to spend your remaining hours just writing letters. Letters to people who barely know you. Yeah.

One thing that is never brought up in this episode is the- Sorry. I just looked at my notes and I realized that, um, somehow when I wrote down the title of the episode, it wrote as Shittlepod1. Sorry. Why isn't rank pulled here? TripTucker is a fucking commander and his lieutenant, I'm just going to say is being a fucking little bitch about it.

Like fucking work, Reed. Work on your own or work because I order you. But like this shit doesn't fly. There are other moments when Trip does pull rank and it seems strange each time because it's like, you should have pulled rank on this other thing. Yeah. Not whether you're going to space yourself like this, I'll bust you down to a buck private talk after you threatened to punch your own ticket is like such a weird late

in the game use of that flex. That's a great call. I mean, I would have walked up the ladder to the airlock as soon as I started hearing those fucking letters get written. Maybe the first letter scene, I'm going up the ladder at that point. Get me out of here. Zero tolerance for letters policy. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Type them. We don't need to hear it. Type it.

Yeah. You got a lot of buttons up there. There's so many fucking buttons on this shuttle pod. If you have to do it in dialogue, keep your fucking voice down, Reed. Someone's trying to sleep. Yeah. Is it too much trouble to get some goddamn consideration in a shuttle pod of this size? Shaking my damn head. Awful.

Awful Reed episode. You want to see if there's anything awful in the priority one inbox Adam? There has to be something better than anything involving read at this point. It does have nice ropes though. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secure channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income. Supplemental income. Supplemental. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. Adam, our first P1 is of a promotional nature,

and it goes like this. Friends of De Soto, if you're not already listening to Greatest Trek, you should. There's occasional Greatest Gen crossover that you would otherwise miss, like that time Ben had Janeway blow up Voyager to the yin-yang twins in Strange New World's Season 2 Episode 9 at the 36 minute and 19 second mark.

There's also the same comedic gold you expect on Greatest Gen, like when Adam threw down Gorn's hegemony on Strange New World Season 2 Episode 10 at the four minute and 47 second mark. Give it a view. Also, buy a Jumbotron or become a member at MaximumFun.org. I just paid them to advertise their own shit. It's pretty good for shit. Jeez, Chris is capital F F-O-D.

No kidding. For a promotional P1 like this, geez. Yeah. So the call to action is listen to greatest Trek. Little F F O D for a promotional P1 like this. Geez. Yeah. So the call to action is listen to Greatest Trek. And man, I appreciate that. I try to tell people. I really do.

But I think Chris put it better than I ever could. Greatest Gen is a hit Star Trek podcast. I would argue the most popular Star Trek podcast there is. Highest reviewed, most reviewed, et cetera. It's the best. Greatest Trek runs at like 60 or 70% of its popularity, I think. Like they are not equals. Which is weird.

In terms of audience. And it would be nice if they got a little closer. Cause we, I'll say it. I work just as hard on that show as I do on this one. It's not harder. So does Wendy. do on this one. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's not harder. So does Wendy. Don't kidder.

God damn it. If you won't do it for me, do it for her. Ben, we got a priority one message here of a personal nature. It is to Matt in Seattle from Tom in Seattle. Your message goes like this, happy birthday to my best friend slash roommate slash lover. Is that the order of how this happened, I wonder? I went to a wedding once where that was like how they did their vows, like you're my best friend

and my roommate and my husband. Well, I mean, you went from roommate to lover to best friend, didn't you? Wait, is she divorcing me? What's happening? When I look back at the last few years, it's like a series of disjointed images in mind. Please play Flash Backdrop from Voyager Raven.

Each time I see a bird. A bird? Yes, a large black bird flying toward me, shrieking. Will I keep having these flashbacks? A series of disjointed images in my mind. I was frightened. I felt fear. I must rejoin the collective. Hypnagogic regression. Flashbacks. Flashbacks? You are a saint. I am Gorg. You were Gorg. Thank you for introducing me to Star Trek and Greatest Jen and everything else you've done and continue to do to love me and support me. I love you so much. Wow.

That's the stuff right there. Hell yeah. And thanks, Matt, for putting Tom onto our show. Like, many relationships would totally fall apart from that, so it took real courage. We've had to decide not to read a lot of Priority One messages that go like, my best friend introduced me to greatest Jen, and then we became ex-best friends.

The potential to become roommates and lovers erased forever from that moment. So nice to see a success story there. No kidding. Adam, our final P1 here is from Aaron McKenna, and it's to all the dads. And it goes like this. I started listening when my first child was born. You guys were with me through a lot of 3AM feedseds she's 18 months old now and listens to a lot of baby shark This has been replaced as the on loop song in my head by faith of the farts So thank you, I guess Anyway, number two is on the way in August

So I'll be hearing you at 3 a.m. a lot more. Wow, congratulations Aaron McKenna on having a second. Faith of the Farts, do do do do do do do. Faith of the Farts, do do do do do do do. Faith of the Farts, do do do do do do do. Faith of the Farts. I did not know about Baby Shark until it came into my house via a babysitter who plays a lot of Spanish versions of nursery rhymes for my son.

And so I learned of it as Bebe Tiburron and then I heard somebody singing it in English and I was like, oh, that's cute. They translated that Spanish song. And so like I didn't get get the, this is an annoying committee approved fake nursery rhyme song for children. Oh yeah. Association from it initially, because I was like,

oh, it's just something from not my culture. So I don't mind that song, but you're totally valid if you hate that song, because yeah, kids love that fucking song for some reason. And we'll be here to debate the validity of your priority one message. All you have to do is go to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron, write a couple of words, have us say them or sing them. And doing so helps support the production of our shows. Sure does. Thanks for doing it. We appreciate it.

Hey, Adam. What's up, Ben? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda! Yeah, I mean, uh, Reed. What the fuck, man? Yeah.

Not great. And I'm just going to keep it as that. I think, uh, for reasons stated, many times this episode, Reed's going to be my drunk Shimoda. What about you? He does get very drunk in this episode. Yeah, but Trip does too. Yeah. Yeah, I'll give it to Reed. I think you're right about that. I think Reed is the... They're both drunk, but only one is a Shimoda.

If Trip had gone out the airlock... Shimoda. If Trip had gone out the airlock in episode 16 of season one, I think that is an amazing choice. That's about when Tasha Yar left the show, right? Like kind of midway through season one. You could argue we know more about Trip Tucker than we do even about Archer. Like he is a main character on this show. Yeah, and after this episode, kind of feels like the last one

of the Humans, anyways, that you could say has the right stuff. You know? Like, because Archer doesn't. Hoshi doesn't really want to be there. No. Reads a fucking mess. Why don't you put DePaul in charge? I guess Mayweather has the right stuff.

Yeah. So cheerful. He's got the positive stuff. Yeah. Faith of the fart. Well, let's wrap up, Adam, by talking a little bit about next week. The next episode is season one episode 17, Fusion, a group of atypical Vulcans visiting the entrepreneurs subject to Paul to uncomfortable new ideas. Hmm.

I'm ready to experience some uncomfortable new ideas. Hmm. Yeah. Uh, are you interested in experiencing them in an uncomfortable way though, Adam? No. The only way we can find out if that will be a situation is by rolling the 100-sided day on the game of buttholes, the will of the Riker, quantum leap. I got caught, Adam, by the way.

I was over on the greatest gen subreddit and somebody was like, why when they roll a number, is that not the number they just land on? Because I thought that's how they described it. And I totally did describe it that way when we unveiled this edit of the game. And that's not how it works. It works by adding the number we roll to the number that we're at on the board.

I had really hoped that nobody would notice that I'm a total fucking idiot, but they caught me. So, um, that's, that's why it didn't make sense. A Reddit criticizer was right that one time. Yeah. I mean, it was, uh, it wasn't said in a, uh, fuck Ben, he's trying to trick us away, though that is a tone that a Reddit person would take about a thing as inconsequential as a board game

that two people play to trick themselves into getting drunk every so often. Imagine an FOD that's a hardline Game of Buttholes person. Ha ha ha! I'm sure they're out there. Taking great umbrage with how unclear that was. Oh yeah. You know, like eventually there will be a schizom and we'll have an orthodox FOD community and a reform FOD community and the reformers will be much more chill about the game of

butt holes. But you know, right now our cult of personality is still in its infancy. So that hasn't all worked itself out yet. Right now we are on square 71 of the game of butt holes, and I am going to roll this bone to determine where we go. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. I have rolled a 15.

Tula! Did I win? a 15. Tula! Did I win? Hardly. Jumping us onto another Nothing Square. It's a 86 regular episode next time. How about that? You got your wish.

Love it. It's the best way to do it. It's what we're best at. I don't know if I'm good at eating breadsticks. It's a huge mystery to me. I can't wait to find out. I hope I only understand that feeling once in my life. Once or zero times.

Weirdly curious about that one. I think there's a greater chance of dying eating that amount of breadsticks than there is with the amount of drinking we do during a Mournhammered episode. But isn't it like roughly equivalent, like isn't beer just like liquified bread technically? I guess, but 60 breadsticks in 60 minutes? I guess you also need something to drink when you're eating breadsticks because your mouth is going to just get dusty if you're only eating breadsticks.

We need to adjudicate the type of breadstick that qualifies for such a power hour because like a regulation size breadstick, it's not possible. You can't do it. I think we need to go back and look at what T'Pol was eating at the captain's table and get as close to that as we can. Is it bites of breadstick, do you think? Or you gotta take- I think it's gotta be bites of breadstick. It has. You can't take all 12 inches to the dome.

It's too time consuming to get a long boy down. Gotta get yourself ready to take down one of those long boys. Jesus Christ. It's gonna be a nightmare. Really appreciate all the friends of DeSoto that make whatever this is possible by supporting at MaximumFun.org slash join. Get yourself signed up there and get a bonus episode every month. Get yourself signed up at gach.biz slash mail for our mailing list. We're doing a monthly newsletter now. I think this is like one of

the best things we've done. Like honestly, we should fucking charge for it. It should be, it should be, uh, you can only get it if you're a supporter, but no, we're giving it away for free. Uh, I think it's fine. And subscribe for no other reason than the discount code at Podshop.biz. I would manage your expectations and maybe begin there, instead of best thing we've ever done. I think it's spectacular. Fabulous, Adam.

I want to express my gratitude for Wendy Pretty, who produces this show and edits it, and the great Adam Ragusea, who made our Diane Warren parody theme song coached us through singing so we didn't sound like alley cats on it and performed all the all the instrumentation and wrote his own arrangement of the song for us. God that guy kicks ass. We also appreciate Dark Materia who wrote the original Picard song. Gotta thank Rob Adler and Bill Tilly, who run our social medias. And also, Rob Adler works on that newsletter.

But maybe best of all, follow us on Instagram or TikTok if you're using one of those two social networks, because Rob Adler is making hilarious video snippets of this show every week that are not hilarious because of us, but because of like the amazing editing job he does on them. We get to like sign off on them when he makes them and whenever they show up in the company Slack, that is the highlight of my day, man. Yeah, we're funny, but he's funny in his own right,

for sure, and those are definitely worth watching. With that we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of the greatest generation Enterprise that's also starting to notice hair showing up in places that it never grew before. Exciting and a little late in my mind. Make it show. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S.S. Enterprise. Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S.S. Enterprise. Make it show.

Make it show. Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S. it. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.