The Greatest Generation - The House of Duras Sucks (ENT S2E26)
Episode Date: May 5, 2025When a clockwork probe shows up to give Florida a Prince Albert, the Entrepreneur is called back to Earth and Captain Archer learns that the Xindi have an even more deadly attack in store. But when th...ey get permission to head back out towards the Delphic Expanse, T’Pol and the rest of the crew decide to stay aboard as Duras loses his last chance at honor. What’s in the lobby of Big Dish? How is agave spirit like processed cheese food? Which feature does the Mark II have that the Mark I doesn’t? It’s the episode with an ocean full of manatee carcasses.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social
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Here's to the finest crew in Starling.
When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me.
This is a parody.
Paramount owns the song.
Welcome to The Greatest Generation.
It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys.
They're a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast.
I'm Ben Harrison.
I'm Adam Brannica.
How you doing today, bud?
Great.
Great.
Hanging in there.
Feeling good.
You look great.
Thanks, man.
Great and hanging in there feel like we're at two different points on the number line
though.
Yeah?
So which is it?
Like, hanging in there means like managing.
I'm not thriving, but I'm surviving, you know.
I've had a lot to do today, a lot of little errands and chores, just like knocking them
down.
So in that way, I'm feeling great because I've done a lot of things.
That's a happy place for Adam Pranica, checking things off a list.
And I'm hanging in there because I still have more to do.
Yeah, I'm hanging in here.
Yeah.
Personally.
Hopefully you aren't found hanging in there
at some point in time.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not going to go out like karezine.
Your ceilings like my ceilings, very high.
Very.
It's just too hard to hang yourself in our studios.
I'm tempted, honestly, but it's too much fucking trouble, you know?
Yeah, who's gonna go through the effort?
Yeah. Also, I don't have internet back here, so I wouldn't have anything to jack off to.
Right. Yeah. When we first moved to LA into our first townhouse, we didn't do that thing that we should have when we
were looking at places to live, which was take out your phone and see how your cell
reception is. Because if we had, I think there is no way we would have ever chosen this place
to live because it is like negative bars in there. Anytime we had to do a phone call after
we moved in, we had to do a phone call after we moved in,
we had to do like Wi-Fi calling,
that setting on your phone.
Yeah. That's surprising given
geographically where that place was.
I mean, it wasn't like in between two hills or anything.
No, this is West LA.
This was like clear line of sight.
Yeah.
Don't get it.
Just a weird building.
Yeah.
Maybe there was some spatial of spatial anomaly nearby.
Did you try reversing the polarity?
I should have done something with the deflector dish clearly.
Yeah.
And I did not.
I did not do anything besides remove a preexisting dish from the roof.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My neighborhood is full of those dishes.
Do people still use those for anything?
You see them all the time.
Yeah.
I wonder if there's one on my roof.
I've never really looked.
I've used, uh, antenna television for 10 years now, and it's, it always looks like a magazine.
Like that's what the antenna looks like.
It's like a floppy piece of plastic.
Right.
I don't know why you can't get all your super expensive channels,
like the satellite channels through something similar.
You still need like big, hard dish.
I don't know. Yeah.
What's in those dishes?
Like, I don't know.
And it's like, it's focusing beams at something.
Is that what, that's why it's a little parabola, right?
At least when I look at that, I under,
like my dumb head kind of puts it together,
how it could work.
I have no idea when I plug floppy plastic sheet
to my TV, how that's supposed to work.
That seems like a fucking miracle to me.
Yeah, like I don't really know how the one that's like
the, you know, semi triangular shape thing that looks like
it's made out of straightened out coat hangers works either,
but at least it looks like something, you know?
Yeah.
Floppy plastic sheet just seems like there's no fucking way
this is interacting with the outside world in any way.
When they were doing meetings at Big Dish,
you know that was part of what they talked about, right? Like, cool, this new design is better, but it is not better looking.
Like, how it looks does not give me a lot of confidence.
Yeah.
Where's the parabola?
We need a parabola.
My brother-in-law works at Big Dish. I gotta ask him about this.
See if we can get parabola back, you know?
Big Dish.
He's in the pocket.
In the lobby, there's just like the progression of man, like from caveman to like walking upright
version for satellite dishes in the lobby, like enormous, smaller, smaller, smaller.
Yeah.
Finally, big flappy plastic sheet.
smaller, smaller, finally big flappy plastic sheet.
My dad's dentist when I was growing up became
like a family friend for a while.
And in retrospect, this guy was crazy.
Like one thing I learned about him is that he didn't pay taxes
because of the principle of the thing and was like a lifelong
tax cheat.
And another thing about him was that he had that like 80s version of satellite television
where you needed like a good 10 square foot patch of yard with a clear shot of the southern
sky.
And it looked like it looked like something that NASA is deploying to like pick up the early cosmos or whatever.
There is something about the men in your family that that seeks out and finds crazy dentists, huh?
I want to make this a rule of greatest generation. If anyone could ever describe your dentist as
crazy in the way you just did about your dad's dentist. Yeah.
Find another dentist.
Yeah. He was also, he had like a pistol in his home office and like, I was like playing with his son
and his son totally took out the pistol in one of those like-
Straight out of 90210?
Yeah, like I am so fucking lucky that I wasn't essentially in a PSA about why you need to put your gun
in a safe.
So what did it taste like?
Kind of like the type of mezcal that we prefer.
That's why I like it.
Not smoky, metal, clay.
Love it when it tastes like a gun.
I bought a tequila recently.
It's made in tequila Mexico, but it's made with espadine and not blue agave.
How about that?
So what the hell is it?
Sort of a mezcal and sort of a tequila.
Huh.
Huh.
I haven't opened it yet, but I'll report back.
I think Sammy Hagar makes a half tequila, half mezcal kind of blend.
But what you're talking about is like not a blend.
It's just a tequila made out of mezcal stuff.
Yeah, made in the style of tequila in tequila,
but not with the correct plant.
Is it good?
I haven't opened the bottle yet. I gotta give it a taste.
Is it your studio bottle?
Come on, Ben.
I can run and grab it. It's in the house. I think it needs studio bottle? Come on, Ben. I can run and grab it.
It's in the house.
I think it needs to live in the studio, man.
Okay.
I think it's gotta be there for you.
You hold me down.
I'm gonna jog and get it.
We'll do an on air tasting.
Sounds good.
I'll be right back.
One minute, 37 seconds later.
All right, I'm back.
So what I have here is Tesoro number five.
Echo and tequila agave spirit.
They're not calling it mezcal,
they're not calling it tequila.
That is like processed cheese food.
It's the taint.
Also a strike against it
is that it was named after a gas station. Mm-hmm
All right
Pouring myself a little shot here out of frame the shot was poured and what I want to say is I loved hearing that
many glugs
This looks like a mighty shot. This is a I did a greatest gen pour. Hell. Yeah, you know
All right. Oh I did a greatest Jen pour. Hell yeah. You know? Alright.
Oh wow, this is fantastic.
How about that? You love a pudding tequila.
I do.
And this is a pudding tequila, but like without, like they're not adding anything to it, you know?
Yeah.
Like it's, they're not like adding like vanilla flavor.
Yeah.
adding like vanilla flavor. Yeah.
So it's got like all of the mildness of an Espadine Mezcal,
which like most, I think most common type of Mezcal
is made with an Espadine.
Sure.
But none of the smokiness of that,
it is like, it's barely gun barrel and much more pudding.
Interesting.
Wow, it is crystal clear like water.
And it looks like it's going down real smooth, Ben.
Yeah.
Aren't you glad you have a studio bottle now?
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude.
That's great.
No one has to know.
I brought it to take to D&T tonight, but maybe I'll let somebody else pick up the booze.
Love that for you.
Yeah.
Oops.
Sorry, guys.
I thought it was someone else's turn.
Oh.
Also, a very cost-effective bottle.
A liter.
$25.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's good gas station tequila right there.
You gonna go into D&D lit tonight?
You know, I feel like I deserve it today of all days, so...
Absolutely.
Let's see how the show goes, you know?
We're about to find out, Ben.
Let's get started with the season finale of Star Trek Enterprise Season 2.
It's Episode 26 and it's called The Expanse.
["The Expanse Theme Song"]
So this gadget shows up in Earth orbit.
I really like the kind of clockwork look of this thing.
Ha ha ha, maravilloso.
Yeah, I like that too.
Like steampunk super weapon, basically is what we got going here.
You were like, accidentally click on one of those things on YouTube that's like trailer
for Wes Anderson's Star Wars movie.
And you're like, oh, this is just a bunch of AI shit that somebody put together in mid
journey.
I actually do not get that reference.
I've, I've never watched anything like that.
That's a thing.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
Like I'll just be on YouTube and like you'd think like, oh man, there's a
trailer for a new Wes Anderson thing.
And you like click it or the, oh, there's a trailer for a new like Scorsese thing.
And you click it and it's like somebody like re-imagining or
re-envisioning something using AI, you know, and it's like somebody like reimagining or re-envisioning something using AI you know and it's like you can use these
like platforms apparently to just do like fantasy casting and for some reason
it's okay for them to like use the likenesses of famous people. That's weird.
For free. Yeah. It makes me think of that thing that was so popular like 10 years ago.
You remember the movie trailers that were recut to the musical score of Brokeback Mountain?
And like you'd see Back to the Future, but it was like a very different spin on the movie
Back to the Future.
Right.
And so forth.
What's going on between Marty and Doc Brown?
Yeah, like a lot of movies without that subtext suddenly had a lot of that subtext.
Due mainly to the music.
Yeah.
Kind of amazing.
But like all those projects used existing footage in a way that you're describing like,
this is AI created footage, you're saying.
Yeah.
Not sure if I like that.
No, but I was going to say like, this is sort of like, predating that, what if the Death Star was in,
in like a steampunk context and not a, uh,
jalopy future context?
I like that the weapon system on this thing
isn't just like one orifice and one laser beam.
There seems to be like some lenses involved so
like the sphere turns over switches a lens turns another direction switches a
lens and I think they they switch lenses like two or three times before the
situation's done with but this thing absolutely carves a line into earth and
then casts off its kind of mechanical suspenders and heads for the surface afterwards.
Yeah, it kind of seems like it implodes almost, right?
Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely not shot from orbital defenses, which you might assume exists at earth in this time period, right?
Yeah, they don't seem to be ready for anything like this.
No.
You know, they never considered that someone would come give
Florida a Prince Albert.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Incredible.
I mean, this thing takes care of itself.
So I guess they didn't need the defenses to begin with.
After the theme, we're on Kronos.
And one detail I noticed from the wide shot Ben, you've
probably noticed this for years, is the rope bridge that leads to the central building.
Have we talked about the rope bridge? Like, why does everything have to be a challenge for the Klingons?
Do you have the bravery required to walk 50 meters to get your driver's license? Or are you a patak?
Every warrior has the Kalesh-given right to petition his government if he has the grumba.
These poor bastards crossing the rope bridge like,
God, I'm just trying to pay a parking ticket.
Jesus.
There's also something very funny about like,
anytime they do a wide shot like this on Enterprise,
it's clearly like, you know,
like Unreal Engine 3 character models.
There were two guys walking in like the mid foreground who were clearly really badly animated,
and what they did was layer in a couple of real people in Klingon Loaf against a green screen to
kind of obscure them. Like in the much like in the, in the much closer foreground.
Like it's, it's easier to do that than to redo it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, oh, we just spent like two months rendering this on some render farm, you
know, of like Pentium two processors.
So, uh, yeah, we're not redoing it.
Go slap some loaf on some guys and shoot it in front of a green screen.
That's the cheapest way out of this.
So inside the council chamber, they're post-gaming yet another failed apprehension of Captain
Archer and the regrets everyone feels about choosing to punish him short of execution
when they had the chance. And Dura, son of Tarral is in there and he's been given a chance
by the council to get his honor back. Like it's the classic managerial situation, like when you're
pipped. Like everyone around here in the department knows that you've been a great disappointment and
what we're gonna do is give you a task that's extremely difficult. And that way when you fail the task, we have a great reason to fire you. And so this is
Duras's chance to get his career on track by going and getting Archer.
I had a very early in life foray into the world of business and at one point I had a very bad
disagreement with my partners and their solution was to say,
okay, you now have 20% less equity in the company and you can work your way back if you get on the
program with us. And they tried to make me sign a document to that effect. And I was like, why would
I sign something that takes my equity away? Why is Duras agreeing to this is what I'm saying.
Back to that story, what would have made you sign that
just for my understanding?
You know.
I mean, would anything have convinced you at that point?
I'm a pretty accommodating guy,
but I could get stubborn in situations like that.
Yeah.
Man, what a catch 22 for a Duras type, because you can tell that he's like a fuck-all-of-y'all
kind of guy.
Yeah.
And yet the bridge of a bird of prey calls to him.
Like it must, right?
It really does.
Yeah.
You got to get back on that BOP.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Back on Enterprise in the briefing room,
Archer tells the senior staff about the Florida bifurcation
which is 4,000 kilometers long.
It goes down.
It goes all the way down.
Pretty far and a million casualties
is the body count at this point.
I'm afraid it could be 9-11 times a thousand.
It's so interesting that this has to be a McLaughlin group.
Issue one.
You think he'd get on the one MC, right?
Yeah, like Archer got told by Forrest
and like everybody's in the dark about this.
Like they didn't watch this happen on CNN that morning.
You know, like.
They're still using communications boas
to send their mail back and forth.
Like this is probably just a situation where, of course they don't know.
No one's been able to tell them.
And they've been recalled to Earth to, I guess, help with the cleanup.
This is catastrophic that everything that they had planned is canceled.
So they set a course and Archer gets called away to talk to bereaved sexual icon,
Admiral Forrest, one more time. He's kind of calling a lot, kind of needy from the sound of it.
Yeah. You hate to see someone with this much riz in a state like that, you know?
Yeah. I mean, speaking of states, Archer's really in one himself.
He's in the clarinet rental room
and Tripp finds him looking out the gazing window
and he wants to know specifically,
could you point to the part of Florida
where the bad aliens heard it?
Yeah.
Because he's got a younger sister who lives there
and he's really worried about her.
And Archer doesn't know, like, for all the phone calls that he's got a younger sister who lives there and he's really worried about her. And Archer doesn't know.
For all the phone calls that he's taken with sexual icon Admiral Forrest, they aren't talking
that granularly about the parts of Florida that are destroyed.
But what he does know, and this really doesn't help, the body count is up to three million.
So it is tripled.
Does that tell you anything, Tripp?
Like, does that help with your fact finding
that you're here to do?
Every time they talk to Archer about these conversations
he's having with Forrest,
it reminds me of conversations I have with my wife
where like I will interact with, you know,
somebody at the gas company or, you know,
one of my children's pediatricians or something.
And she'll have like a million questions, you know?
And she'll be like, so, so what did they say about this?
And I'm like, I didn't ask them about that.
I didn't ask.
She's like, what about this thing that we both agreed
was a concern going in?
And I'll be like, yeah, I kind of forgot to bring that up.
Like, Archer is not asking for us enough questions about this.
Like, it would be useful to know.
Like, panhandle?
We're not that stressed about it if it's just the panhandle of Florida.
You know?
Did they get Miami?
I can't believe I'm about to do this.
But in defense of Archer,
I can't believe I'm about to do this, but in defensive archer, like, he can't really ask about a specific person and their condition.
W slash R slash T, the trench that's been dug from orbit.
He could ask about like, like which theme parks got taken out, you know?
Yeah. Like that would be helpful.
That would give us a kind of something to go on.
You know, like Tripp is theorizing
maybe she was out of state
because architects travel so much.
But yeah, Tripp is pretty fired up.
This has some like, why do the terrorists hate us energy?
Like who knows who did this and why?
It's still a really big
question.
This is a very interesting Tripp Tucker episode because you see a gear in Connor Trenier that
I don't feel like we get very much of, like a haunted and sad Tripp Tucker is not the
good time Charlie that I like to be around on this show. A TripTucker who has a hole in his heart that he can only think to fill through violence is pretty intense.
We must stop the terror.
I can't do the parody. You know who has information?
It's not Archer.
It's actually T'Pol.
And when she walks in, she's like, hey, I talked to Vulcan Ambassador Saval.
And guess what?
Like they've recovered that crashed ship and they brought it over to Starfleet HQ, the pilot's dead, so can't
interrogate him.
Were you shocked to find that this thing had a pilot?
Like they'd been talking about it as a drone.
I was shocked by that.
Yeah.
Yeah, like somebody kamikaze'd aboard this thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was weird.
They don't know what type of alien this is.
That's still unanswered at this point.
And in case you were wondering,
I mean, I don't know why anyone would,
still don't know what parts of Florida were affected.
So I'll just save you from asking that question.
Yeah, I mean, I think that Vulcans,
if they were to avoid one part of planet Earth, it would probably be Florida.
You know?
It's like the least logical, conceivable place.
Your hatred of Florida is cartoonish.
There are plenty of good people in Florida, plenty of FODs there.
Listen, some of my best friends are Floridians.
I'm not, I'm not dogging out the people of Florida.
I'm just saying it's a silly place.
They know.
Hey, is now a good time for eight SulaBan ships to be incoming? The SulaBan seem to think so.
Yeah.
And the vibe right now is like, what the hell else is going to happen today?
Yeah.
Just what we need. Tactical alert.
This is a real reigns it pours kind of a moment. And they're just starting to like figure out tactical alert
and stuff when the power dips and sulubans are crawling
around on the ceiling.
What a great sequence this was.
Like with the lights flickering and the suluban appearing.
And there's something so wet-haired girl crawling out
of a well about the Suleybon
as they move across the ceiling.
Like something just ain't right
about them Suleybon on the ceiling.
Yeah, we kind of understand some of Tripp's
irrational hatred of.
Yeah, there's like an Agatha Christie style blackout
at the end.
And then when the lights come back on,
Captain Archer is gone.
He gets to talking with Sillick in the next scene, who comes in with a bunch of other Sula bonds and he's like, I knew you were behind this.
It's obviously you from the get go.
And Sillick's like, obviously me what?
What are you talking about?
Yeah. I mean...
If you're ever gonna lie, like playing stupid
is an effective strategy, you know?
Except he's not lying.
He literally doesn't know what Archer's talking about.
Like, I know you think it was me,
but I mean, I gotta tell you, Archer,
kind of a lot of people look like me.
Yeah.
Actually, it's a little racist that you think it was me.
Yeah.
Just because, uh, we're all covered in knockdown doesn't mean we all look the same.
So it looks like, look, bro, it wasn't me, but, uh, there is someone who might know
who it was in fact, and this person wants to have a meeting with you.
That's why we brought you over to the SulaBan ship where we are. We're actually doing you a favor. I'm surprised you didn't know that.
There seems to be a danger to all of humanity that this person wants to discuss,
and so Archer is brought in to talk to the mysterious shadowy man.
And this person tells Archer that the Zindi attacked Earth as a reaction to their home
world being destroyed by humans 400 years in the future.
And the question in the room is, how do the Zindi know this?
Evidently, there are people who can communicate through time, and those people gave the Zendaya heads up.
And Archer seems pretty uppity for someone who is the third most powerful person in a room with three people in it, right?
Your planet was attacked.
I'm aware of that.
I was kind of surprised by him.
Yeah. I think we learned from Crue and Daniels that some people in the temporal cold war can send people and things
physically through time, but other people can only send information. But I thought Column of Light
Man was on the only information team. Yeah.
So maybe it's like a multi-partite war where it's not just one side against another, there's like
multiple angles and you know, it's like one of those against another, there's like multiple angles and, you know,
it's like one of those intersections in Beverly Hills
that's impossible to know when it's your turn,
kind of a thing.
When Newman on Seinfeld talks about controlling the mail,
meaning controlling information,
is that also what Shadowy Man is talking about?
Like some folks involved in the temporal cold war
control the mail.
That's why when Archer walked into the room, he went, hello, Shadowy Man.
Maybe the worst news of all, Ben, that that thing that attacked earth, that was just a
prototype. That was just a piece of shit ship. Like the real thing, that's getting built by the Zindi right now.
And the plan is to take the Big Daddy back over to Earth to exterminate humans before
they have a chance to do the Zindi dirty in the future.
Hey Zindi, I have a pitch.
Test your super weapon, the small version of your super weapon, on not Earth. Don't
give them a heads up that you're coming with your planet killer. Such a great
strategy. You know? God, so fucking smart. Why give them all this time to react, to
respond in kind? Yeah. Potentially. Yeah. Yeah. It's why you don't run the bank
robbery plan on an actual bank before
The bank you're planning on robbing you order you order a perfect copy of the vault as though that will go unnoticed
Exactly practice in your warehouse that you have access to with your team. Yep. Yep, and your
Unlimited budget you do a kind of rehearsal, like the show The Rehearsal.
Which I'm so glad is coming back. That fucking show is crazy. I love it.
I hope they can find some people with some more weirdly specific views.
I still think about Orange Juice Man.
You're an awful, awful person. All the time.
I learned so much about numerology, you know?
Yeah.
I spent a lot of time in that bar
when I was in my twenties, by the way.
That exact bar?
Yeah.
That's incredible.
Yeah, it was fun that it was one
that I was familiar with, you know?
Lest you believe the shadowy man is doing this
because he's got a soft spot for humanity or whatever,
that's not the case.
It is not.
What his ax is to grind here is that
if the Zinnia go through with this,
they were going to pollute the timeline
in such a way that he sees as highly objectionable.
So he's like kind of a Green piece kind of, kind of person.
Like he wants to like gum up the works of the
global oil trade.
This fucking guy, he's like, you got no choice,
but to believe me, you have no information
without me.
So, so here you go.
Why don't you, why don't you take this
conversation back to enterprise and see how it
plays?
And Archer tries it out on T'Pol in the clarinet rental closet.
Is trying the conversation out on T'Pol the version of the Zindi practice weapon being used on Earth instead of on someone more friendly?
Like Archer should be doing this with Reed or something, right?
I've heard that when Chris Rock runs material and does spots around New York, he is as un-Chris
Rock as possible. He is just saying the joke in the flattest tone you can believe.
That's interesting. To know whether or not its architecture and its premise is good without his riz.
Right.
Which sells a ton of comedy.
Yeah, I get that.
Right.
So I feel like trying your material on T'Pol has got to be the same thing.
Like if you get a laugh like this, you know, like this is going to fucking kill.
Chris Rock showed up in an episode of Homicide, my wife and I watched a couple nights ago.
Whoa. Amazing. Whoa.
Amazing.
Man.
What that show was able to pull as guest actors.
I've been meaning to check that out now that it's on streaming.
It's real good.
Yeah.
So, yeah, to Paul is like not logical, no time travel, the Vulcans say so.
What do you make of her point being like, well, yeah, if time travel is real, why did
they tell you after the attack instead of before?
Like, that's kind of dumb, right?
And Archer, like, you could tell there's a split second
where Archer's like, fuck, fuck!
That makes so much sense.
I don't know how any of this works.
Nobody knows how this works.
It's time travel.
This is the angry Archer
that sort of matches the angry Tripp.
Like I feel like every time Tripp gets angry, Archer gets like cold and icy,
but he gets hot angry in front of Sipal here.
I need your support.
Let your damn skepticism.
I love Archer at the end of the scene is like, can you please just fucking humor me?
I don't care if you believe me or not,
but just like in this moment be like, okay, maybe.
It doesn't work for Chris Rock to ask the audience
to just like Jeb Bush, please clap.
We've seen Archer angry before, but I don't know why.
I like this Archer. I like it so much. I think there's a great Archer angry before, but I don't know why I like this Archer.
I like it so much.
I think there's a great Archer episode.
Cranky Archer.
Yeah.
Legally it's just a virtual
Body count is now up to seven milli, by the way.
How did we miss by seven fold on those initial estimates?
Yeah.
I mean, is it like, is it one of those things where it's like we're only reporting the confirmed
number and we're not, and we're not guessing or, you know?
Hard to know.
They've made really great time back to earth because on the bridge they have the sun on
the view screen and that nice feeling of safety that it represents is replaced with a torpedo
hit to the saucer because guess what?
Duras's bird of prey has fired on Enterprise and this is not a welcome wagon moment.
No, it is a, uh, fuck you.
You thought you were through the worst of it
when you shook the Sula bun.
No way, man.
We're going to destroy your ship unless you give up Archer.
And Duras is getting a boarding party ready,
but then he gets some bangers dropped on his ship
by some Earth vessels.
And these seem like sort of pre-NX01 Enterprise class ships.
They're not great looking, but they managed to scare away Duras.
And we meet Captain Ramirez, who welcomes Archer home after successfully preventing
the destruction of the NX01.
Archer has got to be like, what other past conflicts are going to be
visited upon me on this day?
Like, will I be chained and eating gruel at some point?
Will the ghost of my father appear to haunt me? Will Dr. Flax's wife be involved on any level?
It feels like everything's on the table.
Is Suzy Plaxton going to be wielding heavy weaponry?
Yeah.
Is Clancy Brown anywhere nearby?
I would like to know.
So with the Duras issue neutralized for the moment, the crew has an opportunity to look at all the damage that's been done to Earth through the view screen.
And you hear the single brass instrument of orbital bombardment play as they do.
I was surprised it wasn't dustier and smokier around the scar.
Like, I guess it's taken them quite a while to get back and maybe it's settled,
but it seems like this would be like an atmospheric event too.
It seems like it would be capable of killing dinosaurs.
Yeah.
This sort of destruction.
Like when you see it, the beam go from land to sea and it's like frothing the ocean off.
Like, are there any manatees left?
Did they survive or did they all boil?
The frothy mix of ocean and manatee carcasses this thing made.
Pretty gross.
Yeah.
So Archer pitches command on his temporal Cold War shit.
Or I guess Forestrest pitches them.
Like, I don't know who's above Forrest,
but Forrest doesn't seem to have a lot of pull
with whoever those people are.
It's clear that the shadowy man isn't the only man
in the shadows of this show.
Because you're right, the people above Forrest,
I don't think we have any interactions with this episode.
Yeah. Anyways, yeah, they didn't buy the temporal Cold War thing,
but Archer is really keen to rig up the Enterprise
for a long mission and take it out to find the Zindi,
the people who are being blamed for this attack.
And we learned that they are inside an area of space called the Delphic
Expanse that's three months away at High Warp and this sounds like a pretty rough part of town.
We hear some descriptions of ships that tried to go in there intentionally and some that didn't
go in there intentionally and some of the horrific event horizon-esque
things that befell these crews. Doesn't sound great.
I think it's important that it's Saval that lays this information out there. Because
for as non-emotional as Saval is, to hear these descriptions come from him,
emotional as Sival is, to hear these descriptions come from him, like the horror feels even more horribler than if Admiral Forrest were in there talking about it, you know?
Totally. The likelihood that a Vulcan is going to exaggerate what a horrific situation this
was feels really low.
I love like, he doesn't have to go into the detail that he does, but he's like, yeah,
so like, have you ever imagined what a Klingon would look like inside out?
Have you ever seen the kids show Mr. Body?
Now think about those same Klingons, those inside out Klingons.
Imagine them living through that experience.
And that's just a little bit of what you'll get if you ever try to go into the Delphic
expanse
Imagine the smell Archer just think of it in those terms
Yeah, they in this case the Klingons smell even worse on the outside
See what I did there Star Wars reference. Well, I'm a character in Star Trek
He's also like roasting Archer for this time travel stuff.
And Archer's like,
well, if you don't believe me about that,
I actually got some receipts from the shadowy man.
And they go into the, like, TWA Flight 800 reassembly hangar,
where they've got all the debris from the attack
sphere that the Vulcans recovered and Archer is like radiocarbon dating all of
the stuff in there and some of it's like, Oh, this was like made a year or two ago.
This was made four years ago.
This was made negative number of years ago.
Yeah.
What?
I love that they designed the radiocarbon dating thing with negative number setting.
Like I know this is unlikely, but if we do scan stuff from the future, we're going to
want to have the, you know, the ability to describe that on screen. One of my favorite parts of back when I had a real job was finding a crack in the armor
of an executive that we both recognized made them a real person or made them cool.
And when Archer looks at his scanner and he's like, oh, this thing was made 420 years into
the future. Like the camera whips over to Forrest
and you can see him kind of go like, nice.
And Archer, back to Archer like, oh, okay.
All right.
Sexual icon Admiral Forrest is down with a wacky tabacky.
Yeah, yeah.
What's wrong with that?
You got anything in this pile that's from 69 years in the future?
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe for also in case you've forgotten is in the room also.
saying he's gonna go back to Starfleet
Command and tell them about this new evidence.
We also see the incinerated body of the pilot, like so crisped up that it's pretty
hard to tell what kind of loaf was on this person.
If it was crisped up all the way through,
you wouldn't bother refrigerating it, right?
There has to be some of it that's probably
still a little soft.
That's why you put it in the cooler.
You think that they did like a reverse
sear situation?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's still medium rare on the inside. They think it's his Indy, but they I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. He's still medium rare on the inside.
They think it's his Indy, but they don't know.
Yeah.
They want to find out.
So in Space Dock, Archer is visited by a Vulcan named Dr. Farrott, who is going to treat him
for some weird radiation that was on that debris. My notes kept on auto correcting Dr. Farratt to Dr. Fart.
And it made me wonder if Dr. Farratt
was actually named Dr. Fart.
And then like, it became logical to change my name
due to the children in my school making fun of me
when I was young.
When my grandfather emigrated at the V'Elliske Island, he changed it.
A kindly immigration officer explained what the connotation would be.
He made my school age years bearable.
So he's there to examine Archer because he was exposed to something called
paritic radiation from the alien probe. And this is just a standard scan. Like when you're
exposed to this radiation, there can sometimes be some side effects. But like during the exam,
Dr. Fart appears more interested in Captain Archer's mind than his body.
Have you encountered people from the future before?
A number of times. Does this have anything to do with the radiation?
And I love the cutting back and forth between the two shot of Archer and Dr. Fart and Dr. Flax,
like eavesdropping and noticing and clocking what's happening here.
Because Dr. Fart tries to like establish some,
some rapport with Archer by saying like, you know,
not all Vulcans are so orthodox about this time travel stuff.
Like some of us believe in it.
That threw me off too.
Initially I was like, oh, this guy's cool.
But I really liked the way it was written
to sound a little bit like, you know, like
a mental health screening, the way he started like, he started going into like, and then
how could it make you feel to learn that shadowy man was not a time traveler?
At a sub point, like, Flockes is like, I mean, he basically snaps a pencil and turns around
and goes off on Dr. Fart.
You come to my six-day under false pretenses?
Where are your medical ethics?
Is everyone angry this episode?
Pretty much.
Like the blood is running hot on the entrepreneur.
And the way Dr. Flux figured this out
is he was like listening to the questions.
He's like, let me run a quick like LinkedIn search
of this guy.
And he's like, the only Dr. Fart anywhere near here
is a psychiatrist and not somebody that treats radiation.
The scene goes on for a few more seconds,
like past Dr. Flax's face and toward a bookshelf.
And you can see one of the books
has an exploding volcano on it.
And you're like, oh, all right, I get it.
I get it.
I get why he hates them so much.
Archer kind of implies that they're going to space this guy. He's like,
escort him to the airlock.
I like that.
I love the idea that they just blow him out. It's like, you fucked up, Dr. Fart.
Escort Dr. Fart to the airlock.
That's a executable offense here.
Yeah.
Faith of the Fart.
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Boop boop.
All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.
Let's learn everything.
So let's do a quick progress check.
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Yes, episode 59.
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Episode 64.
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Trip and Read visit the Trench and they're standing in the parking lot of a Piggly Wiggly
looking over this thing.
My sister and I used to love this fast casual chain. Hehehehe
I love a piggly wiggly.
Yeah, we learned that she has passed.
Very sadly.
Are you sure?
Oh yeah.
I just want to scrutinize this a little bit because like,
there's no body.
But still I will grieve.
Yeah, I think there wouldn't be, right?
Like if it made a trench that's like 200 feet deep,
there's probably not a lot of human remains in there.
It's just very distracting how much this looks like a Command and Conquer cutscene, you know?
I was also a little distracted from the tragedy of this moment to notice that the Comic Sans
typeface has survived this far into the future because another chain location in the shot
is Cafe Rio and they've done their sign in Comic Sans.
The Comic Sans typeface is the cockroach of Fonz.
It will live forever.
Archer's Log.
They've gotten permission to go to the Delphic expanse, Ben.
And Forrest and Archer take a shuttle pod tour of NX02, which is in Dry Dock, which
feels pretty dangerous given how the first flyby went around NX01 with Archer at the
controls, right?
A lot of the panels haven't been put in place, so you would try to maybe keep Archer...
Now's the time to do that.
... minimum safe distance kind of a thing.
The word is the Enterprise is getting refitted as we speak, like before they go out on this mission.
Yeah, some new bells and whistles are being added. They're getting like military people
aboard, which kind of reminded me of like Master and Commander, like there's like the
Marines on board the ship and they're like not really part of the Navy hierarchy. They're
kind of their own thing.
There's a moment in this scene I thought, which was so interesting, was like, Forrest
has a lot of questions without answers, but the big takeaway and the thing that gives
Archer confidence is that the shadowy man never would have told Archer about this whole
thing if shadowy man didn't think he had a chance
of winning whatever this conflict was.
And that made a ton of sense to me.
Yeah.
Like if he had no chance, Shadowy Man doesn't give a shit.
He gives this mission to someone else.
Yeah, and does that mean that Shadowy Man
has like full confidence in Archer?
Or is he like really hoping Archer comes through on this?
How does the time travel work?
I just hope Shadowy Man isn't a degenerate gambler
who's got money on Archer losing.
We get a little scene where T'Pol and flocks hang.
Because there's some question about
if all of
the crew remains or some of them leave, like the
understanding is that this might be the sort of
mission that you don't come back from.
And so there's an option to participate or not.
Right.
And as the two aliens, the two people not involved
in whatever conflict seems to be blossoming between
earth and these Zindi, shouldn't they not run the risk of being on the
warship that the enterprise is becoming?
I'm Swedish.
I don't have to go to Vietnam, right?
Is kind of the vibe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I mean like, Fox's beetle order speaks volumes.
You don't order that many beetles
if you're planning on leaving the ship.
Yeah, the volume of beetles is what's speaking volume.
So T'Pol confesses that the Vulcan High Command
has ordered her not to go on the big trip.
And he asks her, like, what she's more
allegiance to, the Vulcans or Archer? Weird question, obvious answer, the Vulcans.
Her answer is giving us a classic turn and walk away
to end the scene. We don't know at this point because we go to the armory next where we see
replacement torpedoes being loaded in. And these look familiar.
They look a lot more like what you'd see on the D than you
did in season one of Enterprise.
Are these Mark I?
They are.
They're not Mark I've yet.
They're Mark I.
Mark I.
That is how dumb I would have been as a kid. Re-disimpressed.
Re-disimpressed mostly because these yields are tunable.
They don't just have one strength as you shoot them.
You can kind of dial them in to be as strong as you want. But unfortunately, Ben, there has been no upgrade in aiming technology. So who knows
if Reid is going to be able to hit the target with these any better than the old ones.
Yeah. The Mark IH is maybe going to have better targeting.
Hey, Reid, why don't you leave Trip alone about his sister?
Why don't everyone just give Trip a wide berth?
The number of runs Reed makes at Memorial amidst protests by Trip.
He's like, have you planned a Memorial?
No, we're not doing it.
Don't bring it up.
But what about a memorial trip?
Again.
Why are you so obsessed with memorials?
I'm not obsessed.
She's dead.
Perhaps the saddest part of the whole thing is that your sister died so quickly, she did
not have time to write to her various ex-boyfriends to tell them of her regrets during their relationships the way I would have had I had the
time. Tripp is like, you know what I'm focused on instead of memorials, revenge. And I'd like you
to focus on getting the fuck out of my way so I can feel the feelings I want to feel.
I've got a bunch of raw meat that I'm going to arrange in the Zindi's bed that says Judas.
Yeah.
What does it mean?
It means omurta.
It means rey wenge.
That's what I'm looking forward to, Reed.
I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever get the old Tripp Tucker back again.
He is a coiled spring, and he has been for most of the episode.
This might change him forever.
The Vulcan ambassador, Saval and sexual icon, Admiral Forrest, want to show Archer some grainy footage.
And Archer gets really excited because he's like, oh man, I know Forrest is a fuck machine.
I bet Saval has bagged a babe or two in his day. Let's see what this is. Now, it's just PG rated Event Horizon footage.
It's really not that scary.
Yeah. If for some reason,
Event Horizon was cut for the NBC Friday Night movie,
this would be the version of the Captain's Log that you'd get.
Like a bunch of squishy faces and agony sounds.
That's what you get.
I mean, it's like slightly more horrifying because like it's Vulcan's acting strange,
but you want a guy to hold out eyeballs on, you know, in his palms, you know. Is there an amount of film grain that you can use that permits the unedited version
of the Event Horizon Captain's Log to be shown, like layer after layer of grain?
Is there a grain enough to cover the eyeballs in such a way that it could play for network
TV?
Do you think that they thought about using it, but they were like, we already dipped into that well?
Like, Star Trek can't use Event Horizon a second time, basically.
I know. Yeah.
That was fun when they used it the first time.
It really was.
This was a Vulcan ship that was destroyed
because they went to the Delphic expanse for like one fucking second.
It drove them all mad. And Tzval is
trying to use this to persuade Archer not to go on this mission. And Archer's like, no, man,
I'm not afraid of your extremely tame version of Event Horizon. And Tzval's like, okay, well, I just want to talk to Paul alone. And he tells to Paul that, uh, after she endures a year of, uh, I guess, like
compensatory service back on Vulcan, she can maybe get her old job back on Earth
back.
It's kind of like the same pitch that Doros got at the beginning of the episode.
Like you, you do this for me.
Like you can maybe claw your way back into my good
graces. In this scene and so many others this episode, folks presume what T'Pol wants and how
she feels. Yeah. Like of course you're going to want to go back to Vulcan. of course, these smells and foods and so forth on Enterprise must disgust you, et cetera.
But maybe the biggest reason to not go on the mission
is that it is suicidal in nature.
Like, that's clearly the biggest pitch.
It's like, hey, you could also not die
and go back to Vulcan, right?
Yeah.
And T'Pol is like, how about you let me make up my mind about whether or not I want to go on a suicide mission.
So Archer is going to drop her off on Vulcan on their way out to the Delphic
expanse. Forrest basically grabs both his
shoulders and is like, Hey man, hey, hey. And they're just like, I know, I know, I know.
I'm so glad they didn't put words in Forrest's mouth for this. Like that it's just understood
between them that there's this respect and admiration and appreciation
for what's about to happen.
Instead of like a, boy, I really have a half-time speech chambered.
I don't need to do that, do I?
No, sir.
And then like they just cut it for time.
Clear eyes, full hot.
Yeah.
I don't want your l-
So the ship leaves space dock and Duras has just been waiting for them the entire time.
Why wouldn't you just wait for them?
You got a ship with a cloaking device.
Doesn't seem like the humans have any hope of finding him anywhere.
I wondered how long they were in space doc for.
Like the refit either went really fast or Duras waited kind of a long time.
Yeah. Yeah.
We get a scene where Trip and Archer are talking about
the imminent departure of T'Pol and like drinking the brown liquor
of we're gonna miss that one. She was a real one.
Hey, Trip and Archer, if you're gonna miss someone
who's about to leave, how about you drink with her?
I know.
I thought this was fucked up.
It was almost as fucked up as them talking about
how great it was that Archer brought Porthos
to the suicide mission.
No people have returned from the Delphic expanse.
I doubt any dogs have.
Cool, Archer.
Yeah.
That's great.
This is also a scene where Tripp reiterates, in case anybody hadn't noticed, that he is
out for blood and wants to extract a commitment from Archer that we are going to absolutely
fuck these people's shit up in response to what they've done.
I am so angry. I'm going to be even angrier with a hangover.
They're really getting into the brown, aren't they?
They are. They're really knocking it back when bangers start dropping on the ship,
and they get into another firefight with Duras, and they've got enhanced hull plating.
About that.
And better torpedoes.
Like Duras was not prepared for them to be both better defended and
better able to knock his ship out.
Can you explain the strategy?
Like, we cut over to Duras and he's like, whoa, these torpedoes, huh?
When we cut back to Enterprise, we learned that the yield had been
dialed down on those first couple of shots.
Why are they not shooting full yield torpedoes right away?
This would solve the Duras problem for hundreds of years.
Yeah.
That would be good.
Right?
The house of Duras sucks.
If I'm read
100% is the strength. I want these torpedoes going out with right like it would captain
Yells back like like fire like a full spread at 10% yield you go like whoops
Oh
Shit, I let him go a little hotter than you asked for cap. Sorry about that. Well, they work
A little hotter than you asked for, Cap. Sorry about that.
Well, they work.
Yeah, I mean, as they are, they work.
Enterprise leaves this bird of prey in the dust
after crippling it, and they head to Vulcan once more.
So Vulcan's two days away when T'Pol comes to talk to Archer
in the Captain's mess.
T'Pol's like, is anyone gonna talk to me on this trip?
Like, I'm unclear about if anyone's gonna miss me at all.
Yeah.
She has decided to come on the adventure
and has gonna resign her commission
because Archer hasn't got a science officer as good as her.
There's nobody he can promote into the position
that would really cut it. He needs her.
Ben, this is many, many years before the way to resign your job looked like taking off
your com badge. And because Berman and Braga wrote this episode, topologist takes off her
top and puts it on the table, thus signifying
that she's resigned in order to remain on Enterprise.
This is actually the first time that they showed frontal nudity on network television.
And the way they got around FCC rules is that she's not technically human.
Right.
It'd be like showing a topless chimpanzee or gazelle, you know?
This scene is interrupted because rather than answering to Paul in the room about whether
or not Archer needs her, he walks her to the bridge and orders the course change in a very
dramatic way, like with tons of panache.
He's like, we are not going to Vulcan anymore.
We are going to the Delphic expanse because she is coming with us.
So we get another captain's log. We're now seven weeks later and they're at the edge of Delphic expanse space.
And it's a cotton candy nebula that they're looking at.
It's a big nebula! It's a purple nebula! They start heading in, they launch a
communications boi. Mm-hmm. It's nice. So at least they got that going for them.
Yeah. I mean they're gonna want to see this footage, right? Like after we go in there, I mean, the footage is going to blow your mind.
Probably not appropriate for network television.
Right.
We'll let them figure that out.
Suddenly three birds of prey are on their ass,
and Duras wants them to surrender again,
and Archer basically tells them to eat shit.
They plunge into this cloud and the other
Klingons are too chicken to follow them.
But Duras powers on and suddenly the new
torpedoes don't seem to work that good.
Yeah.
I think this suggests that Reed maybe got
lucky in the first space battle.
Yeah.
Like even Reed is going to hit the
target once or twice. twice. He does not hit
this time. And with so many bangers getting dropped on Enterprise, things are getting
pretty desperate.
You don't want to like head out on your extremely long shot adventure with a ship as fucked
up as the entrepreneur is becoming in this space battle.
Yeah. I don't love it.
It'd be like if year of hell was the pilot of Voyager, you know.
There's an observation here about the condition of Duras' ship in that, oh, they've kind of
rotated all of their shields to the front and that's what makes our torpedoes not really
penetrate. We're hitting a shield and we're not getting through, but what's going on on the back?
We're hitting a shield and we're not getting through, but what's going on on the back? Did they just leave the back door open?
That's the guess.
That's the prevailing theory.
And so Archer puts a hand on Mayweather's shoulder and he's like, buddy, I'm going to
need you to perform the most dangerous space maneuver ever conceived.
Something only the best pilots could ever do. And when we see
this on screen, we learn that the craziest space maneuver ever done is a
loop-de-loop.
Captain Archer to all hands, hold on.
Yeah, but it's also, you know, hitting it from the back, you know, it's a little raunchy.
They hammered Duras's ship from behind and it's
destroyed and then the aftermath, Mayweather
was like, woo, that was crazy.
Do not ask me to do that again.
Like it took every ounce of courage and strength
and know how to do it.
Yeah.
I was amazed that they actually blew
Duras's ship to pieces. I know. I was amazed that they actually blew Duras' ship to pieces.
I know.
I was surprised that that was the end of the episode also.
Like-
Is this RSVP Duras?
Like there is that front section where the bridge is that's sort of like
floating toward the expanse.
Is this the same Duras that Worf later kills?
No, no, this is a-
Like Granddaddy Duras? Not all Duras' If later kills? No. No, this is a- Like granddaddy Duras?
Not all Duras's, I think is the idea.
Is it like a, it's a common name?
Like it's the Sean of Cronos?
He's related to that Duras.
Okay.
He's descended from Lursa, but I think they're like cousins.
They're not like direct descendants.
Yeah.
I still don't really get how the houses work in Klingon world.
How do we still not know how the houses work?
Cause fucking Aaron Waltke hasn't written that episode of like, like, this is what
Prodigy is doing is it's like solving all of these things.
Like is Gary seven and lobster hands friends?
You know, we need more Star Trek made for kids so that we can start putting things together like
this.
So that we can start understanding what we're watching.
So interesting the way this episode ends, Ben, because as a season finale, I would have
guessed that we'd get some dons, we'd get it to be continued. But instead we get, we get a moment of triumph almost in that Archer orders
the ship forward and as the ship moves into the expanse, we're going to move
on to season three for the next episode.
Yeah.
How'd you like this one?
It was bracing and really intense. And I mean, like, I think this is going to be a long episode of The Greatest Generation
because we talked about a lot of plot and recapping this one, which feels like a new
pace of play for this show, you know?
Like this kind of felt like 10 pounds a show
in a five pound bag in a way that I associate much more
with contemporary Trek, you know?
Yeah, it felt very deep space 90 in that way.
True, yeah.
Like with the political and war-like aspects to it.
Yeah. And the surprising factionalization of the people that they encounter along the way.
I thought this was a real interesting one and both resolves a number of interesting conflicts that
have led up to this point and
also complicates them and introduces new things based on them.
So I'm excited about it.
Excited to see what's next.
Yeah, I don't need all of my Star Trek to be sad and intense, but I think this is the
best episode of Enterprise I've seen up till now,
because it makes Archer so much more effective
and understandable and believable in his decisions.
Like, it's so important to have a captain with credibility
on a Star Trek show.
And I feel like Archer made the leap here for me
in that way. Like, I'm ready to ride for this
guy and so much of it has to do with his change in attitude. Like I'm ready to go and I hope this is
a way of being that he can continue because I think it really matters that he's not just a whiny
dork about and complaining about things happening to him. Like that's the transition that he's not just a whiny dork about, and complaining about things happening to him.
Like that's the transition that he's gone through.
He's not, why are people so mean to me?
And why is exploration so hard?
And why am I eating the gruel?
He's like, no, like, fuck that.
I'm not gonna feel bad about my circumstances.
I'm gonna take control in aspects that I can control
and I'm gonna fucking ram my ship into
the expanse and see what happens.
Like that's fun Star Trek and I hope that represents a kind of change in tone to this
show.
I agree.
At least in a change to the character that I think is most welcome.
Totally.
Well, do you want to see if there's anything welcome in the Priority One inbox? Nothing like the tone change that a P1 represents, right?
Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel.
Need a supplemental income.
Supplemental income?
Supplemental.
Supplemental.
Yeah, it's extra.
By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship.
The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.
Adam, this P1 is of a promotional nature and it goes like this.
B&A! I've been dreaming of this P1 ever since that Mournhammer ep, or was it a power hour? I don't know.
Where y'all did shots of bad hard seltzer and were very sad.
Want better booze? Make it yourself!
My book, Hard Seltzer, Ice Tea,
Kombucha and Cider,
is out on April 8th,
and it's about making tasty drinks
in your very own home.
What my theory presupposes is that
if you're a Star Trek nerd,
you might also be a home brewing nerd,
even if you don't know it yet.
Buy my book anywhere you buy books. Thanks, Friends of De Soto! If you're a Star Trek nerd, you might also be a home brewing nerd, even if you don't know it yet.
Buy my book anywhere you buy books.
Thanks friends of DeSoto.
Look at Emma Christensen going after the greatest gin bob.
So the call to action here.
Curious about home brewing?
Search Emma Christensen, Hard Seltzer, and buy my book.
That last name is spelled C-H-R-I-S-T-E-N-S-E-N.
Dang, I'm gonna go to bookshop.org and order myself a copy of this, because that sounds
like a really fun summer project.
Well good luck with that book, Emma.
Yeah, I'm excited about it.
Ben, we got a priority one message here from Tony.
It's to Ben Adam and the FODs.
Here's that message.
The cafeteria at work ran a Super Bowl guessing contest, which I won.
With Eagles win 39-24.
On Monday, I was led into the kitchen and handed my prize mug.
A line cook said, nice guess, crazy how you nailed that.
To which I replied, yeah, I really need to think of better uses for my time machine.
Dead silence in the kitchen. Whoa. Bad bits drop.
BITS! BITBICKERS!
All I do is BITS BITS BITS
No matter what You're always doing BITS BITS BITS
No matter what You're always doing BITS BITS
BITS I was doing BITS
Bad bit moment Bad bit moment
Wow!
I think that's a good bit, Tony!
I like the line!
I can't believe they fucking left you hanging out to dry like that.
Ben as a non-gambler, it doesn't surprise me at all you'd have this opinion.
You can't do bits on losing gamblers.
This is what Tony did wrong.
This line cook lost.
And so to do bits on them like this?
I get it.
I don't know, Tone. I don't know tone. I don't know tone
I didn't assume that anybody in the kitchen was playing like I thought it was like for their customers to guess so oh
Okay, maybe that was my headcanon, but maybe they were in in the game
I don't know Tony was playing that squares game you ever play theares game for the Super Bowl? Don't know what is.
It's just a luck-based game where you win
if you get the score correct.
OK.
All right.
Pretty awesome.
I'm sorry they did you dirty like that, Tony.
But we all have our moments.
Ha ha ha.
This P1 is from Bethany, AKA Mom, and it's to David,
even though I won't let him listen to your show until he's older.
David, you are eight.
We are nearing the end of season one TNG.
It makes my heart proud to hear you ask, can we watch more Star Trek?
Ben and Adam, thanks for the pod.
Listeners since DS9 and Voyager have gone back to TNG to listen along and help inform my mom vetoes
Which have been used liberally. This is my first p1. So it'll be fun to hear when I get caught up again. Wow
Tony had a bit about a time machine in the last one Bethany a time machine of her own
Totally. Thank you for listening. Thanks for going back to the beginning. Yeah, and
You know bringing a youngin into the fold. I love it
Yeah, so many FODs back in the stacks. Yeah, like Bethany
Potentially raising a future generation of FODs. I like that. Amazing. Yeah
Our goal is to die in these chairs
So like it's not gonna happen unless we get some young
blood to fill our ranks.
Well, whether you're raising youth or coming up with homebrew cocktail ideas, try to not
do bits on a person who's lost a bet.
Instead, do the sure thing by creating a priority one message. You can
do that by going to maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron, write in a couple of words and
then you'll get the kind of vamping you've heard today on this episode.
Hey Adam.
What's up Ben?
Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?
I think one of the places that Archer misses this episode is drinking with Tripp, talking
about T'Pol, like, pre-missing her.
It's hard to appreciate the things you have when you have them before they're gone.
And I can think of one way that they could do that by inviting to Paul to have a drink with them,
which I think she would have. I wonder if they messed around with this idea when they were
breaking this episode. Like in the same way that like when Picard walks the ship in Best of Both
Worlds and runs into Guinan, there's that moment that exists almost without rank
between two people who work together, who have respect and admiration. I would have really liked
that moment for Tripp and Archer and T'Pol here. And I wonder if maybe they opted not to do that
to just kick that can down the road. But we do get a version of that later with the big dramatic Archer
entrance to the bridge, but I don't know, I kind of want to see T'Pol take a shot of
Brown.
It could have been fun.
Yeah.
I feel like she would have been in the mood for that this episode, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, she's not working for the Vulcans anymore, so I'm going to split my Shimoda
between Archer and Tripp Tucker for that.
Interesting. So I'm gonna split my Shimoda between Archer and Tripp Tucker for that.
Interesting.
I'm gonna split mine between Reed and Tripp Tucker
because of the wide shot of them looking over the gash
carved in Florida.
The little CG people that they put in the frame there
to represent Tripp and Reed
did not know what to do with their arms.
They're standing there with their arms,
like one foot out to either side.
I mean, I think that's so that they can be drawn,
like so that the border can be drawn around their Bardis.
Yeah, yeah.
And it really made me laugh watching.
I went back a couple of times just to enjoy how silly they looked in the wide shot there.
And you know, there was comic sans on screen, so it was very enjoyable to me.
The dark Shimoda, which we sometimes have, is definitely Archer bringing porthos.
Dark Shimoda, crazy move. You want to see a dog turned inside out, Archer?
You sick fuck.
Ha ha ha.
Thanks for the fart.
Well, Adam, it's time to learn a little bit about what we've got coming up next week.
Of course, it's going to be season three, episode one.
The Zindi, Captain Archer and his crew set out to gain information
about the mysterious and antagonistic Zindi, Captain Archer and his crew set out to gain information about the mysterious
and antagonistic Zindi race.
To find out how we will be watching that episode,
I've gone to gach.biz slash game,
where our runabout is on square 74,
and it could go anywhere with the role
of this 100-sided die.
Exciting.
You're required to learn as you play.
Roll.
And where it went, Adam, is Square 60, regular episode next week.
Tula!
Did I win?
Hardly.
About that.
Okay.
All right.
Not too bad.
Yeah.
Looking forward to it.
I want to say thank you to some really important people, some people without whom this just
wouldn't be possible.
Of course, we've got to thank the friends of DeSoto who support the show at maximumfun.org
slash join.
Got to thank Wendy Pretty, our intrepid producer and editor.
Big thanks to our Zindi wartime,
I was gonna say correspondent, consigniary, Bill Tilly.
He's also in those trenches, he's a,
He is, yeah.
He's a war correspondent too.
He's down there wearing hip waders,
doing Richard Valeriani style hits.
Flak jacket that says press
and huge white letters on the back.
Yeah, you can see it.
He's making hilarious trading cards that you can catch on the
At Greatest Trick social media accounts all over the internet.
Those accounts run by Rob Adler who makes them a very fun follow.
Give him a follow.
You know, subscribe to the newsletter.
Give him a follow!
Guys.biz slash mail. Come on! It's great. You won't regret it. Got to thank Adam Ragusea for the original
theme parody of
Diane Warren's bop and also speaking of bops dark materia for the original Picard song
Hope dark materia is doing great wherever they are
With that we'll be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise,
an episode of the greatest generation Enterprise that's got one bug in its species.
Hmm, there's always one bug in there.
Get rid of that thing.
The Achilles Bug.