The Greatest Generation - The Locutus Apology (VOY S3E18)

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

When Doc Holoday starts experimenting with grafting geniuses onto his personality, the results are off-putting. But when his bedside manners become more hands-on than usual, one big slip up could take Kes down with him. Why are we getting so many seafood advertisements on social media? Where’s the worst place for a docking port? Can the Hippocratic oath absolve a doctor of his sins? It’s the episode that is also Kes’s dad!Buy tickets to the Double Dumbass Tour!  Exchange scarves for goods at PodShop.bizSupport the production of The Greatest Generation.  Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is now regularly streaming on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Bringing what the U.S. is for Captain Captain Captain. Bringing what the U.S. is for Captain Captain Captain. Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast.

By a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast, I'm Ben Harris. I'm Adam Pranica. Well, late night record for us. Well, later than we usually start. Yeah, we've been messing with the times lately. And it's been making great episodes, Ben. Oh yeah, yeah.

I have a prediction. Okay. After the last episode, where you tried to play off drinking three quarters of one can of an alcoholic beverage as your quote unquote, cocoa no no make up. Uh huh.

I think that the friends of DeSoto are gonna be dissatisfied with that performance. How do you know how much was left in that can at the friends of DeSoto are gonna be dissatisfied with that performance. How do you know how much was left in that can at the end of the episode? That was an empty can. No, there was heft to that. I absolutely finished it. It was done. Now, you weren't tipping it far back enough for

it to be done. I reject your lies. What are you suggesting? I'm suggesting you're still into us for a Coco No-no. You've got to make it up, you know? Like, I can't make you do the job. This is the job though. All right. Up to me, if it is to be.

So I'm going to drop that on you at a future date. Well, what are you trying to get to goad me into doing it right now? No. You don't have to doing it right now? No. You don't have to do anything right now. Say what you mean, man, I don't know what you're getting at. I actually have prepared myself a run-based beverage for today's recording. It's got what looks like a mint sprig,

the size of a core size on top. You really go heavy with the garnish, don't you? A grapefruit-sized wad of mint that I grabbed and threw in the top of the glass. My ice machine's been on the Fritzman. It's really fucking my shit up. Yeah, you haven't gotten it fixed, have you? I called the company, told them what my name was. My first name is in my email address,

and I called the company back today. And the person I talked to last night, it's spelled it, B-E-N-J-I-M-A-N. Benjiman. So that's like getting your name misspelled on the coffee cup when your drink order is ready. Is that what happened to you?

Pretty much, but it was like, they needed warranty information. They needed me to send in a part number. They said that they were sending like procedures to try, like try this, this, and this, and this order. Uh-huh. And none of that should happen, so. I think I know the answer to this question,

but are you the type that does not throw away all the materials that comes with an expensive item? You actually hand fill out the warranty card and mail it back in. That's gotta be you, right? That sounds like you. I actually don't typically do that, and I found that it doesn't often come back to bite me in the ass. I guess I still have like the paper work that came with like my television. But I don't do anything like that. I've never needed it.

It seems like it's more trouble than it's worth. It's just in a plastic sleeve in a drawer somewhere. They like print it on paper that's like not normal printer paper. So it feels like it's like a document that you need to preserve, you know. It's just lives. It's supposed to make you feel safer than you are. We're none of us are safe at them. No, even from people that were supposed to make you feel safer than you are. None of us are safe at them. No. Even from people that were supposed to feel safe around, huh? Yeah. Yeah.

That's the really awful truth. Hey, we're out on tour as of this recording. Hey, we missed the exit to the episode that I just dropped back there. I was just thinking about how we should probably promote the tour. Okay. We can turn the pod car around and go back to that exit. No, let's promote the tour.

At this moment in time, we will have had three great live shows. Yeah. I already done in the Midwest. Hopefully, neither of us have been injured or killed in the process. Yeah, we're going to be in Canada on Friday. As of this recording in Toronto. Now they're gonna let us back into Canada, are they? Maybe.

Always a question. Usually more of a question whether the fucking American border guards are gonna let us back. They don't like the look of your questionable challenge coin currency and bring that into the country. Yeah, I always wind up with the bag full of challenge coins, the heavy bag.

I always get the posters in the challenge coins, the densest, heaviest shit. I know. And the border guards don't like the looks of me. And they're not wrong. Yeah, they don't need to know it's in your bag to spot you as a Benjamin. I bet that's one of those weird

Benjamin's that spells their name with an eye. Let's see if we can get a look at this guy's identification. Yeah. Do they have a passport on him? Yeah. We're also missing the Chicago Star Trek convention next week. I was sad to see that as a as a consequence of our third bite of the tour rooting apple. Our third bite, the most likely to get canceled due to COVID, right? Because that's probably when we start coming down with the symptoms that we pick up in the Midwest or in an airport.

Nothing good happens after the third bite. That was the bite that precipitated the fall. That was the bad Adam and Eve bite They passed the apple back and forth and then some third character took the third bite That person's never been written about yeah, and any religious text everybody was supposed to be great in the Garden of Eden and that third character Had a real dark side to him. Hey, it's Adam and Eve not Adam and Eve and Benjamin real dark side to him. Hey, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve and Benjamin. Hahaha.

Hey, we missed that exit for the episode that I dropped back there. Yeah, all right. Do you want to go back and get it? Or do you just want to keep fucking shooting the shit? All right, I'm turning the pod car around. Like, I'm going the wrong way on the pod freeway in order to take our exit toward season 3 episode 18. It's darkling Adam, it's darkling.

Freebergh, of course. Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo toots, I'm not turning around. We have pulled up to a planet that has an outpost of Nicole Travelers, who a parapetetic lot and loosely governed at that. Whenever a group calls themselves the Travelers, I'm just looking at their potential lobster hands. I know lobster hands among this group of people. Well, one of them gets a severe burn and we don't really get to see what happened to his hand after that.

This is my lodge. I say what I want. Maybe he goes lobster when his skin fuses after that burn. I mean, maybe you just, uh, open that guy's hand to get at that delicious claw meat in there. Make sure he keeps some drawn butter in the six bay just in case. Yeah, yeah, clarified. Keeps him drawn butter in the six bay just in case. Yeah, yeah, clarified. So good. There's been a kind of video forced on me and Instagram, I know Instagram has a questionable value always has, but one of the things

that Instagram wants me to watch is crab leg videos? What is crab leg videos? It is a very brief, like, 10 to 15 second video of Crabmeat being pulled out of Crablegs in one long, broken piece. Oh, wow. I feel like this would really appeal to me in the same way that popping videos on TikTok. This is what I was going to compare it to.

There is something instinctual about how it makes me feel when I see that. The algorithm knows that you want it. Yeah. And then you want more of it. And now it's giving me nothing but that. You're a sick crab leg freak. I'm hungry for crabs. You may remember that the part of space that Voyager is traveling through is of dubious mapability as a place. So the Nicole Traveler is being well-traveled people. I'd be some folks that we could get some information from. And wouldn't it be great if they were also really fun hangs at the same time?

Yeah. That's what this episode presupposes. Yeah, we start with the owner of a tavern kicking it to Janeway. Really given her the bedroom as well, he tells her kind of a tall tale about a creature that he landed on. It was a that's no moon situation, but it wasn't a space station. Boy, you really write about how these travelers look. This guy, Nikhan, looks like he's the sort of person you want to hire when you want Jason Isaacs, but you don't want to pay Jason Isaacs money.

Yeah, and he also has the loaf of somebody that you hire when you want to be drawing, but you don't have be drawing money. And Kess' friend is like Jared leto if you don't want to pay Jared leto money and both of them have the dreamiest eyes that you just get lost in They're dreamy off brand bejure and I thought that the direction of this episode was just gonna be the women of Voyager Our defenseless against the Nicole travelers. Yeah, that sort of seemed like where this might be headed at this point. They've traveled all around the galaxy, but their final frontier is a woman's heart. The here Kess's friend does not like Nikhan's bullshit. He does not like Nikhan telling a bunch of tall tales

to the captain. Yeah. Nikhan's like this giant asteroid sized alien is my girlfriend from Canada. We're going to prom together. It's fucking bullshit. You don't have a girlfriend in Canada and Nikhan pulls out a gun.

Yeah. That's not how the Canadian girlfriend story usually ends. That's not how it works. My girlfriend goes to another school you wouldn't know her. Does not usually end in violence. Right. Yeah, you don't have to flash a piece just because this dude doesn't believe your weird giant alien story.

It seems a little over the top. So as a here and Kess Have been audience to this thing and then finally sit down in the Kans empty seat. Yeah, there's some kind of like rank pulling here. It seems like the Nicole travelers have a fairly subtle way of determining who has rights in which context, but is it here? Definitely pulls rank on the Kans and he's hanging out with the captain and Cass and they're talking about all these great opportunities to trade information and equipment that the Nicole meeting the Voyager represents. So here's like look that dude story maybe bullshit but the asteroid belt that he was talking about is actually pretty thick with some minerals you might be interested in. So it may be worth your time from that perspective.

But you're not going to meet a giant planet-sized creature. No, I would be very surprised if you met a Canadian girlfriend in that asteroid belt. So as this is happening, the doctor is running Nielix's Resort program in the holodeck, and he has created some NPCs based on historical figures that he's interested in. Aristotle, President Chester A. Arthur. Yes. He's got Gandhi and Lord Byron talking to him.

Gandhi advocating for a very chaste lifestyle, issuing all horniness, Lord Byron, kind of looking around the place, looking for things to colonize. This sucks so bad. Everyone is in the Luau Hollow Suite program to chill out. No one wants to hear Gandhi's bullshit about not fucking around on the hall of suite.

Who invited these people? The doc did. It's so disappointing. I thought it would have been much more fun if the extras in the extremely skimpy bathing suits had been walking around like cutting through the middle of the conversation while Gandhi was trying to make this point. Yeah, yeah, where's the side crank guy? Yeah, where's Dick through the side door? That's what I want to know. You should take a cold bath. So the doc explains to, like, Nielix, and I think Kess that he's created a bunch of interesting

historical figures, such as Socrates, Dovinci, Lord Byron, Tepauvulkin, Mary Curie. He's trying to step up his personality game, trying to become a more well-rounded man now that he can get out of the Six Bay. He's the real ask me about the self-help books. I'm reading at the bar kind of person. Yeah, I Kiss is also rocking a new Luke here. She has gone full cat suit in this episode Here she has gone full cat suit in this episode and a big departure from her previous looks. Do you think there's some intentionality to that based on storyline or do you think it's coincidental?

I don't know, I mean the main cast character that replaces Kess is very famous for the cat suit element of her characterization. So I sort of wondered if this was just like something that came down from the executives like more TNA for Trek Please and this was their solution at the time. Well, I mean this is an episode by and large that is very interested in how the subtle can make a person seem in terms of either threat or attractiveness Right and like the difference between this cat suit for her and her other costumeing doesn't seem that great. In the same way that other makeup and costume choices throughout the rest of the episode say the same.

She's talking to the doctor about, hey, I got this boy, I'm sweet on down at the colony. He seems great. Are you familiar with my so-called life? He kinda looks like that guy. The doc is not super thrilled about this new development. Hey, he says you're not leaving the ship dress like that young lady, go put on a jacket and be,

I don't know about these people with their terminal wanderlust. I'm gonna put some a dick in. Seems bad. It's interesting the multiple directions that the docks jealousy come from. Like, it could seem as though he's got a crush on her. It could also seem as though he doesn't want to lose

an unpaid intern. Right. When he's not in the six bay, she is the only person to hold him down. Right. BLT is salad intolerant. She doesn't have an enzyme needed to break down the vegetables on this planet.

And she's got a bit of a tummy ache. Is it vegetables on this planet or any vegetables? Because the idea that a Klingon would be vegetable intolerant and just pure carnivore all the time is great trivia that I'm ready to believe. I know, but she's only half-cling on. You'd hope that you would get some ability to digest a gyrkin. I mean, that's basically all they've got. Maybe only one digestive track is affected. Oh, yeah, that's true. I had one small salad. So impetuousuous the doctor is getting real handsy with her though the way his bedside manner is working is

gross and creepy Yuck, yeah, these new behavioral inclusions have backfired pretty badly and the diagnoses are going in both directions because it's here the BLT Diagnosis the doc with being a super creep super, super creepy, super creepy, and there's sort of like a subroutine schizophrenia happening, right? Yeah. He didn't really figure on the personality interactions of the different doses that he's been taking.

Yeah. This is why, you know, every time you go to the doctor's office, they ask you to update them on any medication you might be taking just in case. He went to the personality pill party and he just took a handful of whatever was in the fish bowl. He just fucking poured milk over and it pills like breakfast cereal

with no regard what they might do to him. I don't know, Doc, maybe choose some historical figures who are a little less handsy. So she's want, right, dude in. I don't know, Doc, maybe choose some historical figures who are a little less handsy. So she's like, okay, well, we're gonna have to deal with this, knock it off for now, and get your hand off my knee. And we got down to the planet where

Kess and Zahir are on a pretty romantic looking night hike down on this planet. Through a Christmas tree farm by the looks of it. When they build an outdoor set on Star Trek, they don't really bring pine in as like the main kind of plant all that often. I like the, I like to see in the needles. This planet is rotten with moons, man. Three visible from this spot.

This Jared Leto is projecting that kind of annoying, performative, interesting guy vibe, where everything they say comes like laden with how interesting it has to be because he did it. I picked up a little cat knees when I was in the orat. So here is the guy that shows up, but a house party and is like, is anybody who knows who's guitar?

This is, this, I'm not just,'m going to play something. No one is this interesting without a downside or a dark secret. It's interesting how the episode gives us the idea of historical figures who are respected but with also like dark details about them. And also, these modern alien traveler figures who are also respected and beloved, that you sort of expect to have a dark secret, you know? I can see the attraction.

Kess can't see the dark forest for the dark trees, though, she's really taken with this guy. And they wind up smooching toward the end of this date. And the camera pulls back and there be it monitored by a cloaked figure, a peeping jawa. Tommy. How's the peeping? He's just back there working the Christmas tree farm, though.

You know, he's got a job to do. They chose to make out in his farm. Yeah, he's throwing those in the back of a van and driving him down to New York City where it will make most of the money he makes this entire season. That's right. He has a hard life. Leave him alone. All right. We're back on his side now. It appears that this is a kiss and dash because back on voyage or a kiss is beamed back up and is unusually happy enough to get some side eye from the transporter up who brings her home.

And also the attention of Tuva, who is walking around at three in the morning wondering what the hell Cass is doing the same. Cass, you have a report to at 8 a.m. and also I know that you went on a date tonight. It does not seem that you let him hit it. Is something wrong. Kess is fine with this timeline of when her report is due, like most college students, she's gonna fit it in between the three and eight o'clock hours and goes right into six pay to get to work. And she's surprised to see the doc still up working. Well, how are you, Kess?

She can't sneak back through the window of Voyager undetected. The doc doing work that she was supposed to do. She, this is an assignment that's not do imminently. This is a late assignment that he did on her behalf, because she blew it. I get to say I'm on Kes's side of this one. If the doc could have done this the whole time and the doc can't feel sleep or stress

or any of the feelings associated with a due date or an assignment or whatever, why don't you just lay it off on the doc? Is there any downside to busy work for the doc? I can't see one. Do you realize what would happen if I handed my reports in your handwriting? I'll get fired. And it frees Kess up for the make out. Yeah, and anything that would keep him out of the holodeck right now is a bonus. Yeah

The doc is disappointed that Kess has come home so late like the doc in a darkened six bay turns on the lamp Yeah, he's been sitting in the chair all night on the lamp. He's been sitting in the chair all night. Occasionally this show reminds you about how weird the cast situation is. This is one of those scenes. She's like, I'm three years old and I'll fuck whoever I want. Doc! Thanks for caring. I won't forget that, she says. And whenever you put that kind of tense to things, it suggests that she may be in a situation where she could possibly forget it and she doesn't want to. Kind of a threat. I won't forget that when I go to college, dad. I'm coming home on weekends just to do my laundry. You can lead your life anyway, you please. I guess it's not the next morning, it's just later that morning. Kess walks into the ready room,

looking like she's dressed to join the fucking Bajoran militia. It's funny how walk tired as a physical direction looks like walk like the varsity captain of the high school football team in between classes. How she's just kind of like arm swing, saunters in there. She really struts, yeah.

I don't know if Fever to be given the direction walked tired, what direction I would take it. But this was a decision that worked, I thought. I feel like they accomplished most of what they needed to accomplish with her hair, which is just suddenly must. As if she was laying down to write her paper. He's starting to tell telling the captain kind of a continuation of what she was talking about with the doc. Basically she is going through a third life

crisis. She's spent some great years aboard the Voyager but she's looking ahead and wondering if this is where she wants to be long-term. And she might go in a little bit of a getaway with Zahir. He's got a high warp, two-person ship, and maybe they'll go do some exploring just the two of them and then meet back up with the Voyager later and see if she likes that as an energy. Janeways like, look, I know you don't have a lot of time to make this decision.

So I will cut straight to the chase. Is he tub worthy, Kes? Do you know what I mean when I say that? Kes is like, while he's hydroponic worthy, the guy could blaze trees. Yeah. Is that similar? It seems like at least she's unwilling to tell Janeway in this moment that her decision's been made. She kind of goes, yeah, I'll take the next few days to really ruminate on it. Yeah. But it sure feels like the decision was made already.

There's coffee in that interesting young man. Something pretty wild that comes out of her face of this is that she wants more complication in her life. Cass, have you been paying attention for the last three years? Yeah. Can you live on a ship that your ex lives on with another like 140-something people? It's constantly like getting thrown into the past

or into dire straits. Kess, your life is interesting enough that they make a show about it that comes out every week. You're fucking mind was taken over by a warlord a few episodes ago and you were just freshening people up left and right. That's not complicated to you. That's simple, easy peasy. Interesting enough for you. Cass. Yeah, it would have been more credible if she said she wanted the opposite. She just wanted to go on long road trips with Jared Leto. I want to go on long road trips and smash Jared Leto.

And if the quiet life. Speaking of Jared Leto, he's given the tea to Tuvac about some different security threats that are out ahead of where the Voyager is planning to go. There's a species called the Tarcan that they're being advised to avoid at all costs. The Tarcan will steal their ship and maroon them, basically. That doesn't sound any worse than anyone else they've run into.

So you're saying they do not want our guts. Just the ship. There's sound like a pretty chill Delta Quadrant alien to be honest. I like the cylindrical star map that they're both looking at. Yeah, that would be a cool screen used prop tone. Yeah. Mashed potatoes with us whisking it, but it's pretty cool. And even Tuvac is acting like Kess's dad here. Is there anyone who isn't Kess's dad in this episode?

I would like to know specifically what your intentions are, navigationally, with my daughter. And so here's like, look, I'm a daredevil when I'm by myself. I would never jump a motorcycle over a canyon with her on it. She walks in and two vachik clears out and she's like, hey listen, so like I talked to the captain and I'm still kind of working through my decision about whether or not to go

on the adventure with you. Really want to, but I just want to kind of make sure that I make the call in the right headspace, so I'm going to take a couple days. Days I'm not going to spend with you because I kind of catch up on all the work I missed. I'm super far behind. I am stressed. This sucks. I'll try not to let you see my disappointment. Too late.

But it's also kind of a sweet moment. Like I feel like this is the moment where you feel like, oh like these two may really be in love. Right, because they're both putting a huge amount of importance on every little moment they spend together. And like, looking at it in historical terms, like, this moment right now, when I'm telling you this, could be the most important moment of our relationship. Right down the date, because three years from now, now you're gonna forget that this is our anniversary and I'm gonna be pissed and three years after that I'll be dead Hey how do you feel that fucking back sacks

and find out you see this is an opportunity to grow. Make it yourself. So, the here takes the long walk home through the Pine Forest, and kind of get the sense as he's walking that he's being hunted. Yeah. Not a good feeling. He's the most attractive game.

Ha ha ha ha. Then a cult traveler's always pulling the gun out at the first sign of smoke. And he does this, There's always pulling the gun out at the first sign of smoke. He does this, but he does not avoid the edges of high cliffs as he's walking. That cloaked figure comes out of nowhere and pushes him off the cliff. We get a great slow-mo going over the edge shot. There is something really weird about this choice in slow motion.

Yeah, it's really slow, though. Like it's probably like 500 frames a second or something. You don't get a lot of slow motion in Star Trek. Yeah, you're right. It's kind of an unusual thing. Unless they're like, oh, time is slow in this place or something. This hooded figure is seen entering the bar from the cold open after this. And when he takes off his hood, the reveal is that he's the dock.

Wow. And he is acting like a total bad guy. He's got like real batman-y voice and he goes up to Nikhan and grabs his hand and sticks it into the fireplace. And we know that you have to do burning on a computer to make Doc Hand burn. So Nikhan is the only one that suffers from this. And...

It's crazy though, like the camera tilts down to Nikhan's hand, and you see like perfectly formed crab meat come out of his fingers. Rad legs! And you're like, so this is where the travelers come from. Yeah, delicious. They get the ability to bend space with their minds by getting their hands burnt and becoming so tasty. A few minutes in a dermal regenerator and you'll be fine.

So as they are enjoying this Crab meat, the doctor groubles that he's gonna need passage off the planet. He's gonna need a ship and it is up to the can to secure it So it's a deal and the doc seems like exactly the kind of person you want to make a deal with Yes, it's a very trustworthy seabing guy. Yeah, he's like cool So we have a contract in the form of your hand now being a claw I only make deals with squirrely looking guys who burn my hands. I like the compositional consistency of going slow motion with the cliff fall and also the pulling of the crab meat out of the fingers here.

It's nice. Yeah, it's nice to fall in slow motion because you don't hit the ground as hard. No, it's great news. It's just a bunch of broken bones. Yeah, his head is completely smashed up. He's alive. Yeah. What happened to his face? Tell me what happened to his face? No big deal. The doc can wave a light over it and I'll just head down to six band. Get him. So she does and when the EMH appears she explains all this to him and they're headed down to the planet and BLT catches them in the

transporter room and is like, you're not going anywhere, buddy. You are totally fucked up right now. Almost beamed out just in the nick of time. Good catch, BLT. Maybe don't go into the six bay alone with him though. Kess goes alone on the mission with the information and the equipment that the doc was going to bring. So it seems like she's equipped to fix the broken, the here problem. This scene between BLT and the doctors,

where we get the kind of explanation of what's going on with him. And what she explains is there are lots of people that we've been taught in history classes are the great men of history, important thinkers. But if you know anything about how they actually lived in our lives, most of them were absolutely horrible. You don't wanna just add those to your personality, Willie Nilly. What if I told you that Christopher Columbus

wasn't the only Christopher Columbus, and in fact, they're all Christopher Columbus. Every one of them. Christopher Columbus, if you will. And he's like, are you talking about the 21st century director who changed his name to Christopher Flavor Town? The only Flavor Town Cases concerned with are those lobster hands. So, TuVoc is updating the captain

about the attempted murder. And this is like another in just a string of the voyager showing up at a planet. And there being a mysterious crime that sort of implicates the voyager crew. And this being not exciting enough for Cass. They're going to talk to the doctor about it. And they walk into SixB and find BLT. Past out on the floor, no EMH. Yeah, that's not usually how he keeps his 6B sorted, right?

What he explains is she's had an allergic reaction to the salad she ate yesterday. You would think that if somebody was in anaphy and they stumbled into an empty 6-bay that has an EMH program, that some sensor would kick on and the EMH would appear, so that they could fucking jab an epic pen into that person. Voyager wants us to believe that it's plausible that 6-bay would be more or less empty most of the time. Do you think that's realistic? I love that. I have this new doctor,

and I don't have any understanding of how they are doing it so much better than every other doctor I've ever had. Like I had to go to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, and my wife was like, okay, so you're gonna be tied up for a few hours. And I was like, no, I'll be tied up for 20 minutes max. And she was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I've never waited longer than five minutes.

The doctor comes right into the room. Like you don't have a long weight in the waiting area. And once you're in the room, the doctor is there. Like you just meet with the doctor immediately. And by the time you're home in the neighborhood, the pharmacy already has your medicine ready, I don't know how it works. Okay, by doctor's office, do you mean

Van and a parking lot of a Best Buy? And by doctor, do you mean some guy with dreads? And by medicine, do you mean some colored liquid in a gallon milk container? Let's just say, when I get in a gun fight,

I don't have to put it through my insurance that I got the bullets pulled out of me, all right? Wow. I want to refer all to this doctor, Ben. It sounds great. I'm going to refer you. You know what? You shouldn't refer me because you're just going to have to wait longer next time.

You should keep this one to yourself. Yeah, this is like knowing a good way over the hill into the valley. You know, just give that information up. Right. Got tickets that lock them, get them. All better large, rich, rich, rich. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay,

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I hate having to stand in line. And boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this. We've got to get on the ark. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

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So they put BLT on the biopid. And they're like, OK, cool, doc. You help her. We'll clear out and off they go. And the doc goes from jackal to hide. The second they leave and gets together a whole bunch of hypospraze. Like the scene in the movie where the torturous shows up,

and unrolls the knife bag full of different crazy implements. That's a good comp. That's how many hypospraze he's got. There's always that that semi-circle with sharp blades sticking out, and you're like, how is there any medical use for that? Anywhere at any time.

Ha, ha, ha. Why do they manufacture that? You can only use it to torture or remove the inside of an avocado already pre-segmented and cute. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Those are the only two things it does. It also looks great for company. When Bill T. wakes up, this is so scary. This was the first time I noticed what they had done to the Doc's eyes. And you could see that he's wearing the contacts that make his irises smaller. Is there something wrong with that weird eye? Really freaky.

And it changes his whole deal. I'm what you call a partial-ocular albino, but I'm fine with it. She is paralyzed and he does not like the idea that she's been trying to extract the parts of the personality that have made him the man he is today. Yuck. He picked shitty historical figures. Yeah, do better.

This doctor talks about the original doctor as if they're a totally separate person, and a person that this new doctor would like to eliminate. And he doesn't know quite how to do it. He needs BLT's help. It's such a troubling combination of like imprisonment and body horror at the same time, like for BLT to be there and also be unable to move. It's a gross combo. Yeah. At one point he describes the E.M.H. as a hollow excuse for a life, which I thought was a very fun, little, lighting flourish. The other thing he's doing is like, he's really like juggling his jaw out,

like he's really doing like under bite. He's sling-blading a little bit, isn't he? I guess so. Yeah. He's saying I can turn off the thing that would make you pass out from all the pain that I can inflict, and I can really take it to the next level.

Yeah. What he wants is a way to get away and he's unstable. We know this about the doc. The level of complication in his program is really big and it was nearly too big to even be run with the amount of RAM they have installed on their motherboard, you know. There's a race against time element introduced here too, because this version of the doc wants to kill the original version. But the programs inside him are degrading at an increasing rate. He like gives BLT some stuff to think about and storms out into the hallway where it seems like he's kind of following this lady with the idea that he's gonna kill her maybe yeah, I mean to go from the scene where BLT is immobilized to out into the hall kind of lurking and leering and following people The feelings there trying to evoke that's all working here. It's really well done, like you really made the feel unsafe. Yeah.

Even when Paris steps into the turbo lift, you're fearful of what's going to happen to Paris. I guess that mobile emitter turned out to be something of a mixed blessing, huh? Am I making any sense here? I love the oblivious Paris. I thought the B-Dang's performance was really funny. He's always good for that quip on the bridge when they meet an alien that isn't nice to them right away. Like he's always the guy with that dialogue. Right. Good night, doctor. Nice chatting with you. So the doc heads down to the tropical resort and that is where he's going to spend a bit of time. And we cut down to the planet where

two Valk is talking to Nikhan, who has sort of become suspect number one in the attempted murder of Zahir. I mean, a bunch of members of the crew saw Zahir and Nikhan pulling straps out on each other. So. It's interesting how Nikhan is doing nothing to disabuse two Valk of his suspicions here.

Like, he's acting guilty as Valk. Real one-order perp interview here, where the guys like, still wrenching on the car while they're asking him like where he was on the night of April 2nd. Do you believe you, Nikhan or Nikhan, prove your innocence of this crime? This lodge was the last place Zaire was seen before he was attacked. Zaire is brought into the tavern on Chico Te's shoulder, like a soldier being brought

off the battlefield with an injury. Like, he's an over the shoulders a hearholder. Yeah. Sounds great. And I thought Kess was more capable as a medic than this. That's soholder. Yeah. That sounds great. And I thought Kess was more capable as a medic than this. That's so too. Yeah.

Speaking of people who don't want to be there, so here is like staggering in their needing chakotata stand up. And Tuvak is like, would you rather be Sahir or Sahir? Perfect. So they've left Nikhan with a lot to think about, and back up on the ship, caskos into the holodac and finds all of the simulated historical figures are like totally fucked up. Socrates has been separated from his legs. He got

bishops. Gandhi is banging his head, and Lord Byron is laid out on the Tiki bar, getting his head bulged by the doctor. I thought it was so interesting the take that Kess gives here, as if she's throwing up in the back of her mouth. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And I actually looked into why that might have been.

And this scene was supposed to depict all cusses. Oh, interesting. And I wonder whether or not Jennifer Leigh knew that during this scene. And that was the take that they kept. And maybe they changed it on cut-around to not all cusses and instead it's the people but there was a moment. It was supposed to be a like, Melchovich kind of moment.

Well, I mean, Melchovich, Melchovich, Melchovich is weird and oddball, but to see a number of cusses in states of dismemberment and stuff on the holodeck and the doctor being the one at fault, they thought about it and they thought that it would be like crossing the Rubicon with the dock. Like you could end the episode explaining away what happened, but you could never as a viewer forget that he was capable of that and they decided not to do it for that reason. There was just no fixing the character if you broke him in that way. We can't locate us the dock. Yeah. It's what they decided. Yeah. He grabs Kess and the head to the transporter room where he shoots the transporter operator. I thought that this

was an interesting moment. I didn't know that you could fire in another ice-tracer and ported a starship, but apparently you can. You can as long as the weapon you're shooting destroys the container for the thing inside. So this transporter operator's clothes completely dematerialized, leaving him naked and slumped over the controls. Nice equipment, this guy's back in. Yeah, it's fast action, though. The dock gets up on the transporter pad with Cass and they are on their way out of there. There's been some warnings, like they'll know the second the transporter goes

and the doc has explained, like, oh yeah, I can make a scattering field. They'll have no idea. And this is corroborated when Harry Kim, up on the bridge, explains to the captain that an unauthorized transport is happening. We fix the whole unauthorized phasor thing.

Still on the list is the unauthorized transport problem on Federation Starships. Like the hiding place that he has selected is not that clever. It's just the bar. Yeah. We only have one location. Well, we have the Christmas tree farm and the bar.

That's what we have here. Yeah, and like Chicote and Tuvac are checking out the Christmas tree farm with Seher. And the captain radio is down, he's like, yeah, I think Kess and the doctor seem to have been down. So I want to look in on that. But go ahead and head back to the bar. That's the only other place here.

There's a bunch of cutting around where we go from Tuvac's investigation to Kess and the doctors, interactions and Kess, like the entire time, as a hostage. It's like really breaking him down about his motivations and the evil inside him and the idea that the real doc may be in there. Yeah, and also like the danger of Mr. Hyde messing with a mobile emitter. What's wrong with this thing?

It won't work! Oh, please stop. You're gonna hoist yourself on your own mobile emitter, Petard. He takes a moment to like, like all annoying people at the bar, like share his unsolicited world view about things. Mm-hmm.

And Kess is got a really interesting take about it is that every living thing and every part of every living thing needs to cooperate in order to live. Is that real? The doc just thinks this is some real hippie bullshit. He's not trying to hear that. He's kind of an armist type, right? He got all the shitty parts of a bunch of bad people. Yeah, they need to leave him on this planet. Maroon forever. So Nikhan shows back up and he's like, Hey, so I got you a shit,

but everybody knows where you are and what's going on. So I don't really know if you're gonna be able to get out of here, but we did have a deal and I have the contract to prove it and he holds up his fucking lobster claw. What was the doc going to pay him with? That is a good question. Has he been like saving the Latinum tooth caps from every patient he's lost? The darkest version of this answer is Kess.

Yikes. But it makes you wonder like where where's the money, Doc? Show me the fucking money. And stop burning my hand. He's really getting fucked up too. Like he's starting like Blinken Flicker. He's in bad shape. Yeah, it's accelerating this deterioration in him.

Let's go. Back on the Christmas tree farm, we've got both the dock and casse out there and two Vox Chico Tei and Zahir, kind of giving chase in a way. Yeah, they've got to get to the docking port where the ship is. Which is just along the cliff line there. You just go up to the cliff, cross the ridge,

and that's where we keep our ships. We've got an interesting approach to infrastructure on this planet where we put the docking port for all the starships that visit the planet pretty far away and like no roads or any way to get through the wilderness aside from just kind of bushwhacking. It discourages all but the hardiest tourists. Come on, I'm tired. So they find them and this turns into a standoff where Kess is the hostage and Chicoet de has drawn on the dock.

Could you shoot the dock? Oh, yeah. Bullets didn't hurt the dock when he got his mobile emitter the first time. That's right. Yeah, that's how we know. He couldn't be shot. The nice thing about a phaser also is that it's got a stun setting. You're never gonna accidentally stun someone to death, right? Well, I don't know.

You might have a heart condition or some sort of... Is it just a less lethal? Is it one of those fucking things? Yeah, I think so. Because I was gonna say like, pull a Keanu in speed and shoot the hostage would be a move here. You just stun Kes and then you got him dead to rights. Just grab the mobile emitter.

Yeah, but when you're on the side of a cliff, I think even a stun could be lethal because then you're going over the side. Right. Kes really crawls up the docs as about how he's acted toward her, and into thinking about how he's treated her the whole time. Like, this isn't the hostage-taker relationship.

This is like a toxic mentor, mentee relationship that's been happening here. And the docks not trying to hear this so much so that he jumps them off the cliff together. He'd rather die than face any constructive criticism about his relationship with his students. I love the take when they materialize of the transporter pad, they're like, huh, man, that we were falling. That's big fun, and the dog is just fine. Yeah, they did the program reset in the transporter. Very cool. It's convenient when you have a minute left of episode. Back in 6 Bay, the dog is scanning BLT to see if he did too much damage to her. She's

scanning him to see if she did too much damage to him. They both get a clean bill of health. And he ends the episode with a little like, thanks to BLT, a little glad you're still here to cast. Glad you didn't leave the show this episode. And then a little moment alone where he rededicates himself to not being evil by reciting the Hippocratic oath. Always good to remind yourself you're not an evil doctor. If you can remember the hypocritical. Is that like doctor communion? You do a bad thing as a doctor and then you recite the oath and then you're back to one. I don't know.

I always think about this moment in Master and Commander, where one of the officers has died and they do a Lord's Prayer. And they do the entire prayer and it's like an incredibly emotionally poignant moment in that film. Even the second and third verse of the Lord's Prayer that most people don't even know. Like I only go to church once a year during the holidays

and I'm reading parts of these Christmas songs I've never even known about before. We're not skipping the Latin verses this mask. Jesus, this is what they talk about at the end of this. Oh my god. I just think it's an amazing moment in that movie because it's like, in any other movie, if you like, took that much time to do something that's sincere,

it could fall flat. Like only a movie that has earned that moment can pull that moment off. And I think that this kind of dovetails with the question of, did you like this episode? You know, I'm really easy to get along with most of the time. But I don't like bollies, I don't like friends, and I don't like you. I'm just dumb. Did you feel like it? This episode earned that moment of the Hippocraticos

at the end. It wasn't the oath part that I had a problem with in this last scene, Ben. It was that the doc did so many terrible things. And understandably, he was not in his own mind during. But I think he's got to apologize to BLT, and he's got to apologize to Kes. Because even Chicoete apologizes in the last episode for his actions. And it is interesting that we have two episodes back to back of

characters not in control of their own actions doing horrible shit to their crewmates. And I wonder if it's because the doctor is not a person in the conventional way that he doesn't think to do that. Maybe they like a race too much out of his personality. In all of the research he's doing in how to be a better doctor, I would wonder to what extent your willingness to be generous with apologies shouldn't be a place of study for him. That's a big part of being a human.

Or I would argue probably it is. Fuck. Probably not. Eventually, maybe the doc will get there. But yeah, I thought that was missing more than anything. What did you think of the yet, Ben? Hey, doc, I want to see a notes page screenshot on your account, man. This is going to take more than 240 characters to sort out.

I think especially because Kess and BLT are so cool to the doc after, it would give him cover to be like, hey, like I know you're being great about this, but wow, yikes. Do you think just like living in a post locutist world, people are like, all right, sometimes people kill a lot of people

and it's not their fault. We all have gone through this, we know what it's like. It's not that big a deal, leave them alone. I mean, the thing about the LaQudas apology is that some bad things are so big and bad that no apology is sufficient. And that's why Picard never apologized. Is the LaQudas apology the opposite of the big city apology? Yeah, it is.

I'm sorry if your wife's ship was assimilated and destroyed at Wolf 359. Yeah, I really like this episode too. I think that it's a good episode. Maybe the thing it suffers from most is just proximity to the previous episode. Yeah. But... it suffers from most is just proximity to the previous episode. Yeah. But if all the rest of the episodes are about the Borgs, then you need this in-between, right? I guess so.

And I thought that Robert Picardo did a really great job of creating a really scary version of his character. And... He's got a very strong creep gear. Totally. Yeah. Fun, fun stuff. You wanna see if we have any fun stuff

in the priority one inbox, my friend? That we usually do. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. I need a supplement only. supplement? supplement. supplement.

Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Adam, our first priority on message here is from Yorimzadi Hanna, and it's too, my Imzadi Daniel goes like this. Happy two year anniversary! Starting our marriage with me saying about Trek, it looks boring and isn't my kind of thing. To you getting me to watch all of Next Gen DS9 and Voyager had to be your biggest victory.

So I thought Ben and Adam should be involved. And as a present, I will watch Star Trek Enterprise despite my feelings toward it. I love you. Wow. Holy shit. Hannah, you've done enough. you don't have to watch Enterprise you've got a Bover and beyond earth and anyone needs to yeah

Wow Daniel you really have a great person in Hannah you really made out like a bandit in the I'm Zoddy department and We're sorry we missed your actual two-year anniversary by a couple of months, but Happy anniversary you crazy kids. Wow Hannah did a lot of the heavy lifting here Daniel. I'm gonna I'm gonna need to follow up for you about what Show you aren't interested in watching. That's one of Hannah's favorites. Let us know. Ben our second priority when message is from Mikey It is to monkey Let us know. Ben our second priority when message is from Mikey. It is to monkey. The message goes like this, Chris, I know not when this message shall reach you.

Perhaps we'll be over the worst of this pandemic or perhaps we'll be fighting the mighty Megatron variant. What I do know is this. You've been a hell of a great blood brother to me for over two decades now And I look forward to seeing a live show in Toronto with you. Yeah love you and your fan, bro Oh my god, and this episode comes out the week of the Toronto live show good timing I want Mikey and monkey to come up and say what's up? Definitely do that and show us the scars where they became blood brothers. I don't need to see that, but.

I wanna just prove it to me. Prove it to me that you guys cut gashes in your hands and then tied them together with a bandana. Just bring the bandana. Yeah, that'll be fine. Well, if you'd like to say anything to anyone, the best way to do it is through a priority one message here on this show Use the URL maximum fund dot org slash jumbo tron to set it up

Hey Adam, it's that Ben. Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? This is short and sweet, it's the doc. Okay. Obviously the doc for me. Yeah? Yeah. I don't think I need to support the choice. I think it's pretty self-evident.

Just by saying that you've made the case. Yeah. My drunk Shemota is actually a behind the camera Shemota. Hmm. Whatever grip forgot to take the spikes off the transporter pad and let them shoot, the shot when the dock is like abducting casts down to the planet. The camera swings around and you see all of this grip tape

on the transporter pad floor, where people's feet are supposed to land when they get up on there. And yeah, they just missed it. I mean, you never know which shot you're gonna take for coverage, I guess. I guess not, yeah. And maybe whoever had put those down

didn't know how wide the lens was or whatever. I don't know if it was a grip or not, but whoever's responsibility it was to get those spikes off for the wide shot. And you're always blaming the grips. Yeah. Grips are hardworking crew people. They're salt of the earth.

They don't deserve your guff. Okay. Let's say it was somebody in the sets department. All right, that's better. I'm sorry to the good people of the gripping world. I respect the hell out of you. Has anyone would? Objection noted, we'll do this without you.

If you do it, if you do it, if you do it, do it. Adam, it's time to talk about the next episode. Season three episode 19, rise. Well, on an away mission. That's the title. Rise. With an exclamation point.

Oh, nice. Well, on an away mission to help a planet being bombarded with asteroids, he looks comes up with a dangerous plan to re-establish communication with Voyager. However, he is pushed to the limit when two-box negative attitude toward him becomes too much to bear. Did you just make that last part up?

Nope, that's in there. That is literally in the description. What the hell? I feel like this is a real Ben and Adam type of story here. Yeah, yeah, no kidding. Adam, I'm gonna go to gach.bizslashgame where we keep the game of buttholes, the little caretaker.

That will help me determine in what way we will be reviewing this episode. I have never wanted a three less than I do right now because three squares ahead is a naked now episode which would be our second naked now episode? This season of Voyager I think. It's so fucking crazy. Yeah, it's been a lot. It's been a lot of nudity and nowness. Well put.

You're required to learn as you play, role. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and roll this bone. It's just both luck. Which in my case means we do roll the three, and in your case means we roll something bigger than three so that it goes past that naked now. The universe wants us to be happy, Ben, which is why I'm positive you're not gonna roll the three.

Okay, rolling the bone. And I've rolled it. Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo You might have to make it a teaky naked now, my friend. A cocoa no-no now. Oh, this is so stupid. You shouldn't have given me the dice, man. It was your turn to roll. Yeah, it was my turn to roll. And I did roll a three.

Got you, mate. Oh, boy. That'll be the next episode of the greatest generation in the meantime. Head to greatestjentour.com. Maybe there's some tickets available to see one of our live shows. And if so, you can find them all there. We really appreciate everyone that comes out and says what's up to us on the road. We also appreciate everybody that supports the show,

maximumfund.org size join, and leaves a nice review on the Apple podcast or the overcast or whatever pod catcher app you use. Thank you. Thousands of reviewers. So many. We've gotten so far. Maybe too many.

I think we could use more to be honest. Yeah, not enough. You're right. The music you're hearing right now by the great Dark Materia who gave us a blanket, infinite permission to use this song forever and ever for all time. Yeah, I'm sure no regrets over there.

Dark Materia. We's hard, Monteria. We gotta thank Adam Ragusia. It makes all the original music for this show, including the Janeway song, the current theme song of the greatest generation. And, uh, current podcast host, I'm sure the Adam Ragusia hit podcast has already been subscribed to by all friends of DeSoto everywhere.

Yeah, that's your job. If you like this, you'll like that. We promise. We got to thank Bill Tilly, the card daddy who runs the social media accounts at greatest trek on Twitter and Instagram. And Wendy Pretty, the producer, this program. Bring it on home, Ben. OK, with that, we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Voyager. An episode of the greatest generation Voyager. That's in like a really scary suit for the first time

and old man in a cloak is telling us to... Riiiines! And then we get up and we're like... NOOOOO! You really sold me on this next episode from a fucking tab! Make it sound. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture Artist Oat. Audience Supported

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