The Greatest Generation - The Manure is the Only Thing That’s Missing (S5E26)

Episode Date: April 5, 2017

When an overdramatic tour guide reveals a Data head at the end of some San Francisco sightseeing, the Entrepreneur crew is thrust into a tense temporal thriller. But before long, the tone shifts, and the show returns to its roots of daring viewers to come back after their summer break. Are we going to get the rest of our socks in the next episode? Why is Data a liar in this episode? It’s an episode that starts off in an Undiscovered Country, but gets lost in Back to the Future Part III.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast by a couple guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Benjamin R. Harrison.

I'm Adam Prenica. Hi Adam. Ben? Are we playing a Marin chicken? Yeah, it feels like we are. We could do cards, we could do Bible study, we could just talk shit about other Star Trek podcasts. I mean, we have lots of options.

So many other podcasts out there trying to step to this. Have you noticed? Yeah. That's what we're the people's champions, but maybe not for long, Adam. What does the Bible say about enemies of the Federation or the Enterprise? Maybe we can do a Bible study about that.

And I really have to page around in here. Are they scattered all around? It's not like there is a book of enemies within the show Bible. There's not really, they don't really get into that. Oh, I got a page on Star Trek weaponry. Maybe we can dig into that. Yeah, why don't you teach me about weaponry. It's good to see you all in church. Dig into that. Yeah, why not why don't you teach me about weaponry

It's good to see you all in church. It's called to the Bible. That's the way God wants it I don't know why dude Today's lesson is from page 69 nice Star Trek weaponry. So we've got phasers, Enterprise phasers, and Photon torpedoes. So I think that's phasers is about hand phasers, the ones that the OA team carries. I guess the hand phaser and the pistol phaser. Huh. That's interesting. I don't think we've ever seen that. What about the, uh, what about mention the the downhill favor the phaser? Yeah.

Key fob is a super popular phaser. It's like the best phaser. Yeah, you can put that in the waistband of your pants and walk right through TSA with that thing. They're never going to know it's there. Yeah. The Enterprise phasers are the ship's phasers. And they have all the power of the Enterprise's matter-antimander engines behind them. They're quite capable of disintegrating another galaxy-class vessels, or even a small moon, if necessary, DANG! Take that Star Wars.

The one ship could blow up a small moon. That's not a moon. It's too bad that the only glimpse of the weapons room that we saw was in that season one episode where Riker and Picard go to it when they think the ship's been stolen by the binars. Oh yeah, they go to the... But you never see the interior? It's like when Gene Hackman is taking back over a ship and they go to the small arms locker. Yeah, I wish we got the interior there. That's just great cheap filmmaking though,

to just show the exterior and have people head can in their way through that. Yeah, we'll just put a label on this room and let the imagination do the rest. Right. Let's see. The photon torpedoes are perhaps the single most powerful weapon available to the Enterprise. It's a tiny piece of antimatter held in a magnetic bottle.

Wow. I didn't know that. Hmm. Builds around a miniature warp engine and can be used to track and destroy an enemy vessel while either it and or the Enterprise are traveling at warp speeds. There's a single tube forward and one firing aft. Each tube contains 10 fully activated torpedoes. You don't ever see the torpedo bay in the show, do you? They say that for the movie, right? Right. Hmm. Yeah, that's too bad. They're also shooting people in those two

It's an effective mode of transport we've learned Yeah, if you got to get a spark off your ship or a half-cling-on-baby on But I'm in a torpedo. Yeah Well Adam, this has been Bible study. Peace be with you, Ben. And also with you. Why don't we do what we came here to do, Ben? Let's discuss the Season 5 cliffhanger.

Season 5 Episode 26. Time Zero. Part one. Ben, what were your expectations for this cliffhanger? Like, when you were a youth watching the show for the first time? Because I think the show quite accidentally or intentionally built up the expectation that when you get to the end of a season some crazy shit's gonna happen. Well, crazy is right, Adam.

I don't know. I'm not able to put myself in the shoes of a contemporaneous Benjamin on this one. I don't, I mean, like I really vividly remember my experience of best of both worlds. And I mean, I remember watching Times Arrow Part One, but I don't really remember having any feelings about it. And I feel like maybe that might be our friend's Dave and Graham of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

I feel like talk about this a little bit. When you're a kid, there's like shows that you love, but basically all TV is pretty good to you. Like movies and TV are great. So you're like, you're not as critical of things as a kid. I think that this is one of those ones where it seemed like perfectly acceptable trek to me as a kid, but looking at it now, I can see lots of flaws. Yeah, this really feels like a Sox for Christmas episode to me, you know? Sox for Christmas Part One. Yeah. It's all left mistitled.

No. No. No. Well, the entrepreneur is back at Earth again. And this is a mission that they've been called for specifically, but it's a little unclear why. Like Picard doesn't hint at why it's unusual that they would be called for specifically, but it's a little unclear why. Like Picard doesn't hint at why it's unusual that they would be called for this, but it should be, and it should seem unusual for him, right?

The only reason you get called back to Earth should be conspiracy with the nubbins. Speaking at a federation academy graduation, or I guess archaeology? Right, and that's because the random federation science guy is slow playing a big reveal. I bring the enterprise all the way home. As we continued our excavation, we found one other thing I haven't shown you yet. Fuck this guy a thousand times for what he does here. I hate it. I hate it so much.

It's like he does the price is right thing, where you're excited to go up and play the pricing game, and it's like a chest of drawers are possible to win. And then there's like a year your supply of rice errone. And then a brand new car. Right, it's crazy that he does it. I mean, it's like, it is, I feel like walking tour guide,

level suspense building. Yeah. And what they're doing is they're walking around an archeological dig in San Francisco. And this guy is explaining that they dug into this. Nobody's been in here for 500 years. And it's full of little artifacts. There's like, you know, pocket watches and eyeglasses and things in there.

And there's like a gun. They really don't observe firearm safety with that gun either. They're just all waving it around. That gun is definitely rusted out at. I can't imagine after sitting in a cave. I'll tell you a story. My, when I was about 15 or 16, my father decided to replace the furnace in our house. With a gun. And he was, he was, he went back and shoot some of them logs, man. He was like going through the ducting and like,

I guess our house was old enough that something had to be changed about the ducting to accommodate the new furnace. And in the air vents, in the air ducts in our house, he found two lock boxes. One was just full of cash and the other was full of old coins and a diamond ring and a gun. Wow. Yeah. The way he revealed this to me was I was sitting downstairs, probably watching Star Trek, and he just walked in with this crazy rusty revolver.

Whoa. Yeah. It looks just like the revolver in the scene, and I fucking shit myself. It's like the craziest, like my dad is not a prankster. He's not a mad cap kind of person. This was like basically a gun person quote unquote. No, this, this was one of the craziest things he's ever done.

It was in retro-spect very funny, but in the moment I was shocked and horrified. Your dad is awesome. I can totally see him doing that, but I also have a question about like, did he get on the floor with you and dump out the box and show you all the shit? Or was he like, this is for me to discuss with your mother sort of vibes about it? No, no, we get to go through it. I mean, it was great. It was a, there was like, there was basically like a source of $100 bills for me to like, find projects to earn for a while in high school. Like, I'd be like,

I'll mothalon and do, and trim all the hedges if you'll give me one of those hundas. Jesus Christ, I was underpaid for my chores. Oh my God. But they were like, but they were like so old that they didn't pass the pen test. So you had to take them to a bank to get them changed

into real money. Wow. They were like, there was nothing in these boxes that was from more recent than like 1948 or something. Were you, did you ever attempt to find out who the previous owners were for the house? Like, not that you would give the money back, because that'd be stupid, but like, to figure out, like, sort of, it's lineage? Yeah, I don't know if any of that research ever got done. I probably

didn't care enough at the time. I'd be really fascinated to find that out now, but uh, do you feel comfortable declaring how much money it was? Was it like thousands of dollars? Do you feel comfortable declaring how much money it was? Was it like thousands of dollars? I'm gonna guess it was probably like $5,000 or something like that. I mean, it wasn't like a life-changing amount of money. It was just a whole lot of money to find, you know? Was that also the ring that you proposed to your wife with? I don't know.

I don't know if that ring ever, I don't know if that ring is, I mean, my parents maybe still have it or maybe they sold it. I know that they sold all the coins. They went to one of those weird retail stores where they're like, why is this here and sold the coins to one of those guys? They didn't go on that PBS show. But all that is to say, I totally believe that this gun was not a, was not in a fizzile state when they, when they pick it up in this episode.

What did your dad do with the gun? I don't know, he might still have it for all I know. Wow. Would you mind checking in on that and like maybe we make that the cliffhanger to the podcast? Like maybe, maybe for part two, you can give us an update for the mayor and open. Okay, well, say that there's as good a chance as any

that the answer is not satisfying or interesting. And it's like our shoes. If that's the case, we'll edit this out. But if it is, you can, and if you're hearing this, chances are pretty good that there's an interesting payoff to this anecdote, or at least something that's interesting to me personally. The episode we're talking about remains to be seen whether or not there is an interesting payoff to be had here.

But a very interesting beginning, right? Right. So the big reveal here, the scientists like whips the fabric away, and the other thing that they found in this cave is Data's Head. You would think that Maddox would be down there just humping the shit out of that head, right? Like, give me that head. Gotta get that head. Anytime there's a data part, you think he's gotta be first on the scene, right? He's like, first on the organ donor list for data heads. Yeah. He's like first on the Orkin donor list for data heads.

Yeah. If any data head should become available, I think that this scene is a turkey, but it, like this moment, begins a tone that is really good. Like there's a really good, creepy, who-done-it mystery tone at the beginning of this episode. If you're not laughing at the head, I think you're in from this point.

Right. There's a lot of finding data's head, right? Like they find, they find lore's head, they find data's head. There's that terrible movie where they find another soon-type Android head. I saw that head in real life at the MoPOP in Seattle. They're Star Trek display. Mm, it was in the floor.

Cool. Yeah, didn't look any better in person. I didn't, yeah, what is that about? Like why, if you're making the program bones, is it possible to get a completely believable head? But if you're making the program start to check the next generation, the head is gonna look like a Styrofoam garbage head.

It's really just an allocation of resources, Ben. I mean, if you have budget dollars dedicated towards a hyper realistic Samuel Clemens costume, and you have a choice to make between that and one of the main characters, if you're show, I don't know. I think you probably throw it at Clemens, right? And his giant cigars. Spoiler alert. People don't care about that. So yeah, there's a lot of research to be done. And it's almost like a crime procedural

the way this episode proceeds at this point. Yeah, it's a little CSI Star Trek, isn't it? It totally is. So they've got the head down in engineering, juries like piping in with little pieces of information he's finding. I have found out a few things. Data is talking riker and the captain through the time paradox angle. At some future data, I will be transported back to 19th century Earth, where I will die. It has occurred.

It will occur. I love that they put data's head on one of those plastic stands that they use for ice cream cones. Like when you got to scoop out a bunch of them and stick them in the standy while you're paying for them. Like that's what data's head is. You can't do your wallet and hold a cone at the same time. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And then, and yeah, like, like data has kind of an interesting reaction to this. He's basically saying like, this is actually kind of great for me because I've, you know, well, you can all rest assured that you're going to die. I've had to live my entire life, not really knowing.

And now I know. I'm going to die. It feels like data is playing both sides of the emotional coin a little bit. Rikers issue with data is like, how can you be so dispassionately working on your head in an ice cream cone stand and not like have any feelings about it and data is like well actually it gives me it gives me great relief to know that my life will come to an end because you know it's sort of a dreadful feeling knowing that I'm gonna outlive all of my friends and then have to make new ones and then outlive

them as well but like that's that's an emotional outcome too, right? So it feels like he's picking and choosing which emotions to feel. I mean, we've talked a lot on the show about how data's lack of emotion is maybe like the most overstated thing. Yeah. And that facade has begun to really crack in season five. I mean, we talked a couple episodes ago about data doing a bit on Geinen. But like, he is, they have given him a weird needle to thread in this episode because everybody is feeling very strong emotions

and they kind of want him to walk around acting like it's just a total shocker that they are. And he's been around long enough to know that people feel strong feelings when people die, you know? Like he's been through this before. Yeah, and not only has he been through it before, the crew has been through it before. So for Riker to be so surprised that Data's not feeling things the same way that he is, I don't know, it comes off as a little... ...as strange. It's written in a way that makes you feel like, um, did this person watch any Star Trek before they wrote this?

Yeah. Or did they just get like very general descriptions of the characters? It's either that or it's just writing to a new view or sometimes, which is like that lowest common denominator target, you know? Yeah. Which makes it so frustrating for people who've been here the whole time. Yeah. There are episodes that build off of everything we know about these characters,

and then there are episodes that reset everything about these characters to like the most basic version of them. And the ones that build off of what we know about them are always more interesting and more rewarding. Yeah, and that's a thing that television I think has gotten right since this show was made. There is far less of an expectation that a viewer has never seen a frame of this before. Yeah, and there's sort of an understanding between show creator and viewer that either you're in from the start or you're not going to get it and we're not going to write to your level, which I think is great and rewarding. And it's part of what makes TV so great right now.

So what do they find out in this head, right? They find some bacteria on it, right? Yeah. head, right? They find some bacteria on it, right? Yeah, they find some like dino DNA and they find a fossil of some weird creature that only exists on one planet, which is great. It's like, it's like when the bad guys use an explosive that's only sold in one very specific store or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, there's literally nowhere else the story can go than back to this planet. And so they do. Yeah. So they're like, they put the ship in gear and they head off. And as they're there, Jürdie and Data decide to go get hammered and 10 forward. And they're talking through this and Data's like,

no, this is awesome. I've been confronted with my mortality and I find it to be a great comfort despite what you might think. This is great. Data gets called away. What's weird about that is that, like, sure, there's comfort in it, but because no one can be sure when data will die, only that he dies in the past, like, there's sort of a sort of damacles held over him, like, from this point forward. And that's what Jordi is,

that's what Jordi and everyone else I feel like has a hard time with. It's not, it's less that data will die, but it is more that he will die at any time. And even now. It's less that data has to pay his taxes. It's that unlike everybody else, data's taxes could be you any day.

Right. At least we have the comfort of knowing that it's not until April 18th. Mark your calendars, folks. So they pull up to the planet and they scan it for life forms. Yeah, they scan it and data's gone. Life forms, you precious little life forms. I'm sorry Ben, I lost you again.

Transmission dropout. Yeah. Yeah. Plan it's totally desolate. There's nothing there except for this little spot, this little blip that's throwing off some space time signatures. Oh, well, we should talk about the little interaction with Geinen before we, before we hit that, right? Because she walks up to Jordi in 10 for it and she's like, what's going on? Why were we at Earth? And Jordi's like, oh,

we found Data's head. And she's like, oh, it's on. Full circle. Yeah, she seems to know Oh, it's on. Full circle. Yeah, she seems to know something significant about this. Yeah. For all the problems I have with the way the characters are dealing with this scenario, I think that the tone so far is cool. And I really like this push in on Gainin, like this, this like, I'm a creature that lives to some extent out of time, and this like reminds me of something in that weird out of time way.

Like that's so fun, you know? Yeah, and I think, I think your point also means that like, it's sort of setting a pretty high bar, right? The tone is cool, the setup is cool. Things are building into something that we hope is very interesting and fun. So they beam down to this spot and it's like your classic Star Trek Styrofoam cave,

which is weird because they've already had one cave in this episode and it didn't look Styrofoam, but this one does. Yeah. So they're like, scanning around this cave and they're like, well, there's like, there's nothing here. And Troy is like, not so fast. I think there in fact is something here. And I can sense it.

And data has been, has been kept off this mission because they're basically like there is no there's no precaution too small that we can take to keeping data from dying 500 years ago. And he's like scanning for them and he's like, hey, listen, I could actually, there's like a, there's a chip in my head. The deal is, there's life forms down there, but there's slightly out of phase with our time continuum. And I could use this chip in my head to phase out and see what's going on,

but you didn't send me down there, so, I guess you're SOL, sorry guys. And then that's the end of the episode. DATA's like, if I can just combine the chip in my head with this BOPPETS game, I'll be able to slowly dial in my phase in line with everything else down there. And it's a cool premise tied to a scary premise because just moments ago Troy is freaking out because she's sort of like a retriever pointing at dead bodies. She's like there are actually tons of dead people here and they're human.

These people are terrified of something. And so Picard like like classic Picard, rolls his eyes, is like, all right, data. You can go down to the goddamn Styrofoam cave. Just be really careful, okay? And he fits in with some water wings and like a Styrofoam helmet. My mom says, the tags you gave me were not. Yeah. They duct tape, but a pillow under his butt, in case he slips and falls.

Yeah. And that pillow would be better served duct tape to Marina Serdice. Give her a frequent butt-related injuries. Yeah. Yeah, they get him down there. They plug him into the bop it and he like phases out and it's kind of, it's kind of like a cloaking thing where he kind of slowly disappears. And he's, I guess, rigged it so that he can radio back to them, but they can't talk

to him. And he's like describing what he sees and he's saying, like, oh, there's some weird aliens and there's a snake and that aliens have holes in their heads. And it's a weird deal down here in this other time period. It's, I mean, they're sending a guy who wants to die into a place where they aren't sure that he isn't going to die in the process. What do they think is going to happen?

It's a fun scene because it's data describing all of this tense weird stuff. Like you get a lot out of the hearing him explain what it is and not seeing it. It is releasing what appear to be energy fragments which are then ingested by the entities through the office. I bet he'd be a great story time person at, like an elementary school. Or like an Ewok tree house. Yeah, he's really descriptive. Like I get the feeling

that he would use voices and stuff. He would do the sound effects of the ad ads. Yeah. Yeah. He would skip the part of the text that says turn to page four. Yeah. He would skip the part of the text that says turn to page four. This page intentionally left blank. Yeah. So they lose touch with them and the Bobbitt blinks back into into normal time. The Bobbitt's the only thing left. Yeah. And for all day know, he did. Yeah.

My lost is a piece of loading tape for that which long the nurse has been busy telling me you're not going to get it. It's a big time bummer, Adam. And Picard has got to feel like shit about this. Like, he lost him in a day. He finds out that he's going to die. He takes it upon himself to institute whatever life-saving measures he can to prevent data's death and all it took was like four hours.

Yeah. Before he got him killed. Bad feeling. Yeah. Well Adam, this is the point at the episode where Well, Adam, this is the point at the episode where they might as well just be playing Yacchety Sachs for the soundtrack for the rest of the rest of the time. Data wakes up in like immediate post-gold rush San Francisco, slash back lot on a movie studio. Yeah, it's real universal studios vibes. Yeah. And like the first guy he runs into is Is like the goddamn drunk drivers guy from back to the future like yeah totally hoboed out. Yeah Oh man This is this is what I would call Adam a very ambitious

tone shift because they've gotten a few things wrong so far, but a lot of it was going oh so right. They were doing Star Trek as a place, and let's do a crime procedural in space. Let's undiscovered country this bad boy. Let's do something really out there, really cool. And when data starts wandering around San Francisco, brushing the fucking straw off his pants and interacting with drunk hobos, it's just like, what? What? Wait, wait! It's real like genre whiplash, right?

Yeah. It is like... It is the stripper glitter metabolizing the ship shifting into a lachsonic crap of this episode. Yeah. Yeah, because the whiplash occurs because the senior crew has witnessed a death that they had hoped to prevent. And what we get is like some real slapstick

data playing poker and data winning a poker. And like data turning into... Oh, here's a racist character. Here's a like dapper Southern gentleman character. Data going full Doc Brown from back to the future. Like it's like every character idea and premise in the past thing is stolen from another thing and mostly back to the future.

Yeah, yeah, it really is. It's so shameless. It's just missing the manure. The manure is the only thing that's missing, Ben. It's weird. Data has decided to announce to everybody that he's French, and this is another just like conveniently like data is a It's like incapable of lying any other time it's ever come up now. He's just lying, lying, lying

You know, yeah, it comes very easy to him I wish we saw some of the poker scene though Yeah, like what the what the poker game was yeah seen though. Yeah, like what the what the poker game was? Yeah. Yeah, it really just like smash cuts from him walking up to the table to him like walking out with a crazy hat and vest. Like every other episode we get 20 minutes of poker. They got all of the retro grade social mores of the poker experience, but none of the actual poker. Right. Right. Just the flavor. Yeah. But data has made enough money off of this poker game with a bunch of bums in the back of a hotel

to be a fabulously wealthy man. And he starts whipping out out Cliff and giving it to the Bellboy at the hotel that he checks into Like get me this stuff. I'm an inventor. I'm gonna make technology There's a thing here that they don't even touch on which which back to the future does very well, which is like the danger of of Going back in time like data basically is the sports almanac incarnate. In the past, he seems to have no regard for changing the timeline that he's in at all. He appears to be constructing some sort of machine

whose intent is a mystery to us at this point. Like, what do you think his intentions are? I don't know, I mean. It's certainly not to lay low. Is it like, is he building a time travel device to get back to the 24th century? If it were that easy, wouldn't he be building time travel devices

when he was in the 24th century with actual like 24th century gear, a fairly problematic bend. Picard is bumming out and he thinks maybe I'll go, maybe I'll go get something to drink, take my mind off matters. And he wanders down to 10 forward and Geinen is in there like inventing cocktails. She's got like easily a dozen drinks

out on the desk and she's working on one that is like, it's meant to evaporate the second it hits your tongue and it's like a very delicate balance because the species of the person drinking it might be different and therefore they would have a different like every body temperature I guess. Yeah, this is a really cool scene. I mean, this is like the difference between, you know, someone who cooks and someone who is a chef. Yeah.

Like a chef is someone who comes up with their own recipes and ways of cooking. And Geinen is like a real cocktail person. Like she's inventing stuff, if you like. And that's next level stuff. That stuff I couldn't even hope to do. Yeah, she's like inventing the sous vide equivalent of cocktails or something.

Yeah. And there's some cool special effects with this. Like she like sprinkles some stuff in and it evaporates all at once, you know. She's using the drink she's making as a metaphor for this appeal that she's making to Picard, which is that she asks him, do you remember the first time we met? Picard's like, yeah, yeah, sure and she's like I don't think you do

Actually, you don't know shit asshole. Yeah, need I remind you that I exist out of time And so she's like how much do you trust me? Do you trust me all the way? Do you trust me? enough to accept some very opaque advice about you trust me from one side of my hat to the other? Yeah. She's like, I can't she's like, I refuse to tell you more than this, but you need to go down on the next away mission because if you don't, you and I will never meet. And Picard's like, okay, and then he just turns around and leaves. There's no questioning.

Yeah, I love how much Picard trusts Skyrim. I do too. Like, I laugh about it in the moment, but Gynon's mysticism and that what she says is taken for truth every time is one of the most fun parts of this show. Yeah, I mean, I think that it is something, like I'm really glad it's a part of her character and their relationship. I, it breaks my heart that that device has fallen

into the hands of whoever wrote this and whoever wrote Star Trek Generations because it gets abused. Yeah, especially because everything was set up so nicely. Like, it wouldn't take much to just continue great storytelling with her. Right. And instead the batons taken and they just throw it into the bushes. Yeah. I am a cuter's a ball. You will assist us.

I am a cuter's a ball. You are a ball. We come back to California and data is like making up some technology and he's like about to set a sandwich down on a newspaper when he spots a picture of Guy and in the newspaper announcing some kind of literary hang and he's like, oh shit. Yeah, I mean back in old times, San Francisco, you got your literary people together for a salon. You got some finger sandwiches and a nice punch. Yeah. You just let people talk.

This is no Paris, but we're going to try our dandist. Right. This is like the the rare data squint to commercial. Yeah, his his his mouth is a little bit a gaipe. Yeah. That's about as much as you get from him in terms of riker squints. And like as silly as this episode has gotten, we come back and this silliest shit in the fucking world is happening. They've got this absurd caricature of Mark Twain hanging around at the salon, and he's having this big back and forth with Gainon, and it's like a dumb person writing about two smart people talking.

According to our best geologic estimate, the earth is approximately 100 million years of age. Perhaps it is less, perhaps more. Perhaps a great deal, man. Indeed. They bring back Jerry Hardin for Samuel Clements, which is great. I mean, this is not Jerry Hardin's fault. I don't know, man. I think that the performance is so far over the top.

Oh, no. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm not trying to ride for Jerry Hardin's Samuel Clements here, but this was not the weak part of the scene or the episode to me. I think this is equally weak. Now, if you'll permit me, I'll continue my character assassination unimpeded. Yeah, I don't want to be too cruel. I think that the text is where the problem arises from.

Yeah. But it's not really an actor inhabiting a historical figure. It's an actor doing a caricature of a historical figure. Absolutely. I've never heard a recording of Mark Twain speaking, but I refuse to believe that anybody has ever spoken like this in history. Yeah, it's a real village theater type stuff. Yeah. So I guess I guess Gainin is here as some kind of literary figure and so is Mark Twain having some some big time hangs talking science and Gainin is basically wearing football shoulder pads. Like she's looking like Legion of Doom in there. Yeah, she's the local Oakland Raiders uniform at the time.

So what degree of believability is it that someone who looks like Gainin would be invited and welcome in a activity like this at this moment in time. I don't know. I mean, I feel like the willingness of Hollywood to obscure the racism of the past, maybe it play. Yeah. I don't really know, like, I mean, Mark Twain, maybe Mark Twain wasn't like that and maybe San Francisco wasn't like that at this time like San Francisco has been out ahead on

Social issues for a long time. I don't know how far back that goes. I mean because we know like like Mark Twain's casual racism, you know like they don, they don't mention any of that in his character building. Right. Yeah, I mean, like Hollywood does this all the time. Yeah. It's convenient. They make it seem like it wasn't the worst ever

to be black in the past. Yeah. And that's a way that like white Hollywood helps contemporary white people feel okay about contemporary race relations, I feel like. Right. I mean, I guess in bringing all this up, my question is, does she have to be an eryter salon for data to find her. And like could she instead be dealing with the many challenges of being her

in this moment in time and somehow underpin the story with a little bit more, you know, conflict or challenge or something? Because for right now, Data's time in the past has been nothing but a Disneyland ride. Yeah. This is Frontier land.

He walks into the salon and he's like, yo, I heard whoopi is in here. I'm a big fan, but I'm also a personal friend. I got to see whoopi. And the guy working the door is like, I'm sorry, we don't have you on our list. What was your name again? And door is like, I'm sorry, we don't have you on our list. What was your name again? And data's like Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago.

Data like to sort of a football spin move around him. Yeah, neon, deon, data. Yeah. And I guess just leaves him in the dust. Yeah, I mean, I think that like once data starts talking about spaceships around Gaian and she's like, I gotta talk to this guy in private. You guys all clear out. Starship.

What registry would that be? Of course. Mr. Data. We have so much to catch up on. Excuse us. Just how are you? And so she grabs him and they run out of the house and they're out in the courtyard wrapping about

what's going on. And data's like, oh, so you didn't get sent back from the 24th century. You're just super duper old in the time that I know you. I didn't get that. I'm sorry, I didn't understand how old you were. There seems to be a little bit of temporal lag with Gain and 2, because initially she does not understand what data's deal is.

And then when they're outside on the patio talking, she asks data if her dad sent him and That she alludes to not being done with her listening Like as sort of a call back to her race of listeners. Yeah vibes like there's Man in like 20 seconds you get you get just a tantalizing amount of a little bit more of her backstory here. And as she sort of snaps to, like, she suddenly understands that data is who he says he is. Yeah, she's like, what kind of thing are you? And he's like, oh, I'm an android. And she's like, dang, weird. Yeah.

But so it becomes clear that this is contemporary to 1800s, whatever, Gainin. Yeah. And data like misunderstood what he read in the paper. He thought that there were entrepreneur people hanging around San Francisco looking for him. Didn't question why the bartender would be among them. I guess. She doesn't often go on away missions,

yeah, especially the life-threatening kind. Mm. But he explains this situation and then they like, they catch some smoke-wafting over and they realize that Samuel Clemens has been dropping some eaves. Eaves dropping is by no means a proper activity for a gentleman. Nonetheless, the deed is done. Yeah, he's just smoking blunts hanging out on the Ferranda. So you'll have to take that outside. Yeah, not a good moment because this is exactly the sort of conversation that you do not want, open

for eavesdropping. Yeah, you don't want somebody that's got Yankees and King Arthur's courts running around in this mind catching wind of something like this. Yeah, yeah, this is going to make his next book. And you're not going to get anything. Yeah. This is becoming a speech. You're the captain, so very entitled. Hmm.

A little type that ramble on about something everyone knows. This is becoming a speech. They're the captains, they're very entitled. Hmm. A little type that ramble on about something everyone knows. Back in the Styro cave, the entrepreneur crew is getting ready to... They've like worked out a way to reproduce the special thing in Data's head so that they can phase into the time that he was in. And they're getting ready, they're like setting up all the jumbo crayons and Picard beams down.

And he's like, Gain and told me I've got to be here for this. So I'm taking your place, Worf, get back to the ship. Worf seems pretty pissed to be left out of this mission, but Wurf hasn't been a going concern for many episodes now. He's like, take this one off, Wurf. I mean, I guess they have to get rid of anybody with loaf before they go back to San Francisco.

Yeah, they absolutely do. 800, right? Yeah, data can pass for French, but I don't think Wurf could pass for anything. I mean, not even a baker at them. Yeah. That's more loaf than even a baker would have. Yeah. So yeah, they, uh, they get Wurf to clear out.

I guess Wurf goes back and takes command of the entrepreneur. Yeah, he's the most senior officer on board at that point. This has got to be great for him. They're really throwing a lot of bodies at this mission. Yeah. So literally like, Jordy, Riker, Picard, Councillor Troy, and the doctor, saddle up. Adjusting synchronic distortion, 0.001.

0.002. 0.003. 0.004. And they like shift into this crazy alternate dimension where everything's blue and there's a bunch of like like heroin addict aliens sitting around With with pulses of light going into their head holes. This was a legit creep show Yeah, and it's like it's back to this tone where it's like oh, I wish this was the episode

Yeah, it's back to this tone where it's like, ah, I wish this was the episode. Yeah, it's like you can't just intercut event horizon with back to the future three. Yeah. It's just been your place you couldn't possibly imagine. And now it is time to go back. Where? Back to the future. But that's what they'd attempt to go back. Where? Back to the future! But that's what they'd attempt to do here.

Yeah. Jorries on the Bapet and he's put them in the face with this thing and they're just sort of observing for themselves everything the data described earlier. We got the weird glows of light going into these foreheads. We've got sort of a center husk that contains a lot of these, these little things of light. And then from a portal, couple of people with a box full of these little glow worms comes in and refills the thing in the middle. And one of these guys has got a snake cane.

Yeah, and the snake is like a crazy little animatronic puppet. It's a little like the Remic monster. It's like some of the most inventive alien design and like weird alternate phase of reality shit that Star Trek has done. It's so nuts that it's butted up against Mr. Toad's wild ride of episodes. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. So seeing this portal appear and I guess only momentarily wondering whether or not to risk all of their lives at once to see if they can find data.

They all hop through the portal. The portal closes behind them and then it's smashed to be continued. Why'd they go in that thing? No one discusses it. Picard goes in first, everyone follows, and then that's it. Like, if I'm Jordy, I think there's a beat where you're like, maybe we should like throw a probe in there or something? Guys, we have procedures. This is not one of them.

It's like they all observed Data's Death wish and were like, they found his death wish so compelling. They were like, his name was Robert Paulson. Yeah, give me some of that. Yeah. So, Warf is back up on the ship. Like, can you imagine, like all of the life signs are gone. Warf is now captain of the Enterprise Field Commission. What do you think he does? Oh man, the warfies on that Field Commission would be so amazing to see. That is what the smash to,

that's what the smash cut to to be continued should have been. Back up in the command chair, Warf is sitting in it, Warf is to smash cut. That's an issue to have been. That would have been so good. Ha, ha, ha, good. We were deprived. It wouldn't have cost him a thing to shoot that. You know what? Someone out there could

re-edit that, taking the scene of Wurf and the command chair from the the Trojan Man episode from earlier in the season. We could perfect this episode, Cliffhanger. It'd be a lot better. Did you like his episode at him? No. No. Flatly. No, he said flatly.

I mean, like all Cliffhangers, I think you, I think it's really hard to like the first half without seeing the second, especially when so much has yet to be revealed. But, I mean, this is a first half of cliffhanger that is made up of some fun scenes and some real dogs. Yeah, it's like they had a writing team of like Shakespeare and a drunk baby. Like half of it is amazing and half of it is so crazy. I think we could probably discuss this when we do part two, but like could this have been one episode if you just cut out all the fat?

I think that's probably true. Yeah. I mean, and I think that like there are lots of examples in season six and seven of ideas like this being collapsed into one episode. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hopefully part two redeems in some way, part one. Fingers crossed. Do you want to see if there are any P1s ready for our forehead hole? Yeah, I got to see what that husk has for my forehead hole at them.

Yeah. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement on that. supplement on that? supplement. supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship Adam We have a commercial message coming in on priority one subspace

Shope speech You can't even help slipping into Kevin can you I've had a lot of podcast for you to get me through this episode Adam. Here is the message. Anxiously awaiting greatest GenCon 2017. Need another bucket list con to attend? Love D20s? Starfleet officers, get down with all sorts of extracurriculars on the holodeck. Take some shoreleaf and come roleplay in Matamata New Zealand.

Who knows if I'm pronouncing that right? This October 13th through 15th at the Green Dragon Inn. Yes, the actual Hobbiton from Lord of the Ring movies. Shut up! This includes a tour of the movie set, a gaming convention designed with families in mind. No hortorgons needed. Find us on Facebook at Pizokanaz 2017. That's P-A-I-Z-O-K-A-Z-O-Z 2017.

See you in the Shire. That is from Geek Cross Poly Nation. Pizokanaz 2017, Pizokanaz 2017 at gmail.com. Holy shit, Ben. I have probably pronounced most of that incorrectly at him, but that is the message, and that sounds like a lot of fun.

That sounds amazing, actually. Ben, I gotta tell you, Pizokan is making me forget all about Greatest Gen Con. Mmm. This sounds amazing. I want to live in the Shire. It sounds better. There's no way Greatest Gen Con is going to be as good as Pizokon. Look, I'm just going to throw this out there Ben. I'm going to throw it out there for the both of us. If Pizok Khan wants us to be at their con,

I'll go, I'll go to this. I've never been to New Zealand. It sounds great. It does sound really good. I might not be able to make it because I have to move 3,000 miles from where I currently live around that time. Oh no.

Anticipating that being expensive, but we can talk for sure. Well, I'm not, I would never say that we would pay our own way to go to Pizokon. I'm saying, if you're a Pizokon and you're in the shire and you're looking to maybe book a couple of great guests, guests with a great Star Trek podcast, maybe us. Maybe us. Maybe us. Yeah, give us a call. Look, we're taking every meeting at this point. Every meeting. Even the ones that haven't actually been offered to us.

All right. If you're interested in piezocon.com, look them up. Yeah, why don't we get on to the next priority one message, Adam? Yeah, this one is a personal message to the next priority one message, Adam? Yeah, this one is a personal message. Ben, it is from Jim, and it is too Ben and Adam. Oh, I know those guys. It goes like this. I've nearly caught up with your frenetic release pace, and wanted to both support you and express how much I love your pod.

Also, I share Adam's interpretation of violations. Mmm. The dark interpretation, I believe, is what we're calling that. Yes. He continues... I was pretty content to never be reminded of violations ever again. Yeah, me neither, and I was totally okay with being walked off of my weird interpretation. So, here we are, back again.

Uh, Jim continues, you can count on my continued viewership. PS, nothing makes me laugh harder than each season's veto and inevitable immediate counter veto. Wait, that's not inevitable. Jim is a big fan of how we do vetoes, and I think that puts him in the minority. We hear a lot of people complaining about it and I mean it's been a coincidence up till now. I think Jim's really lucky. I really like this is a season where we, well I very badly misused my veto because I

was expecting there to be more of a bad pun to warn me about the LaWox on a episode. Your veto was a one-car accident. The thing is Adam, like aside from the next episode, I don't know that there are a lot of episodes that I would veto going forward. Yeah, I can't think of any, but I know there's another bomb out there. I know, I know that there's one that people say is the worst episode, even worse than the one that we saw with the, uh, Laxamuchoi Mudbath. Well, thank you for the support, Jim, and thanks for writing in.

Yeah, I'm glad our Gmail rule auto-deleting any message that contains the word veto didn't didn't catch this one Well if you would like to email us for $100 like Jim did or send a commercial message like Pizokan did commercial message, like Pizokan did. You can go to maximumfund.org slash jumbo-tron. It's $100 for a personal message or $200 for a commercial message. It really helps us make this show. Thank you.

Yomok Angeland. And Denaga. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour.

Let's do it! The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Sherry Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne.

On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests, and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you.

And Kumail Non-Giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get Stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse go try. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, Raff's hit. Yeah, I've got to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not and they've such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this all. Gotta get on the art. Yeah. It is about

terrain. Gotta spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. Oh, we're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters. So it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boat. We came two by two. What do you think?

Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. Hey Ben. What's that Adam? Whether it's hundreds of years into the past or even just a moment ago, did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? I did Adam. Mark Twain is supposed to be one of the like the great geniuses of history. And he's depicted in this episode standing five feet away from two people. He's trying to eavesdrop on smoking a ridiculously big cigar. Yeah. What an idiot. That is one massive cigar.

It's like a cartoon bad guy cigar. It really is. And it's like, did you think that the people five feet away from you that you're trying to not tip off that you're listening in on their conversation wouldn't notice all the smoke from that huge fucking cigar? Yeah. That's a Shimoda move, Adam. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Samuel Clements portrayal and his very character is Sumo to Worthy.

That's for sure. Yeah. How about yourself? Do you have a Shimoda? Yeah, I did. I'm going to give mine to Data who chooses some interesting times to either conceal or betray his true identity throughout this episode. Like, he's gotten rich. He's in the corner suite at the hotel, which is very nicely pointed. He's on one of the Starwood preferred guest floors. Yeah, it's great. He's befriended a Belman, and he's

sending the Belman to go run errands for him. So he's given him stacks of cash. Belman keeps showing him a piece of paper with a circle on it for kids. Yeah. And so he's running these errands, and he's bringing him stuff. And one of the things he brings data is an anvil. And data being the smartest thing

in the universe, forget to keep up the burlesque that he is a Frenchman, conveniently enough to do it for laughs. So he picks up the anvil one handed and walks it across the room before dropping it and complaining about his shoulder injury from the attempt. And then he brings the Bellman over to his table workshop where he's constructed this device, this futuristic, like, static cling device with a bunch of, like, neon and switches and stuff. He does a thing at this table that is so weird, like he doesn't drape a blanket over what he's built. Instead, he invites the bellman over and they have a conversation over it. And then he looks down at the thing and he hits like a single switch as if

that's the switch that's going to give away what this thing is true intention is? It's the fucking weirdest thing like Why is he messing around with this device and what does that switch do? Why does he hit it when the bellman's there? I Know I like head can in the hell out of that moment, but like to me it seemed like Another example of data with something to hide and being woefully unable to hide it when he chooses to. Yeah. Like, what the fuck, data? Yeah, all of the rules about what data is truth, serum,

personality is like, I have gone out the window in this episode. It's that problem where we know people are smart and they're written stupid. Yeah. That's the problem here. Yeah, we know that Data's on sodium pentathol and he's written as though he's not. Yeah, yeah. What do we have coming up on the next episode, Ben?

Are we going to have a part two? The next episode on the series, Adam, is season six, episode one, times arrow, part two. It's just warf is captain of the Enterprise for a whole season. Yeah. The entrepreneur crew travels between the 19th and 24th centuries in an attempt to prevent data's death in 19th century San Francisco. Do you remember this episode Adam? Yeah, I mean, in as much as I remember this one,

like what I'm hoping for is I'm preparing for disappointment and that it ends up surprising me and I end up liking it. Like that's why I'm tempering my attitude against it down so far. Like I wanna be pleasantly surprised. I hope we get that. Mm.

So, vetoes are newly available to us. We have vetoes, season six vetoes. Do you, are you optimistic? Are you cautiously optimistic enough not to use your veto? I just sort of have a standing personal rule that I don't want to use a veto on a two-part episode. Okay. Well, didn't you try to use a veto on a two-part episode at some point? Did I? I feel like you might have. Oh no. Well, I can change, man. I can change and you can change.

I've learned a lot while doing this show, Ben. Yeah, well, that's interesting. Oh, I'm not gonna veto you there. So, time's zero. Part two. We so watch next. Deal. Adam, our viewers support us in many ways.

Big and small. They leave iTunes reviews that recommend our show and help us rise in the ranks on iTunes. They tell their friends, they go to Maximumfund.org and click on Donate and donate to our show. They buy the merch, the glassware and the shirts. Oh yeah, they go to that Maximum Fun Store. That's good stuff, Adam. They enrobed themselves in our jokes. Yeah. And shrink out of them, even. So thanks to everybody that does that, and everybody that doesn't do that,

consider not being such a Freddie Freelowder. Our thanks as always to the great dark material for our theme and interstitial music as well as Adam Ragusia for all the rest of our music, which has sort of turned into a lot. Yeah, and we should put people onto the hashtag GreatestGen, which is the way people talk about the show on Twitter. There are also Facebook and Reddit groups that you can get in follow with. They're both real fun places to hang, crack wise, and talk with other people that follow the program. We're on Instagram and Tinder.

Yeah. We are uncut and 420 friendly. No drama. No drama no drama And with that we will be back at you next time another great episode of Star Trek the next generation and episode of the greatest generation that is Warfies into commercials every single time from here on out. Yo, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do the car of the youth and fit, do and are supported.