The Greatest Generation - The NX-01 Is Not a T-Top (ENT S3E4)

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

When the Entrepreneur shows up at a seasteading planet, Archer goes looking for Xindi but finds a top-shelf babe who wants to escape the slave trade. But after she comes aboard and starts giving the c...rew hand jobs, two Xindi ships arrive to collect her and her data. Who is leech curious? Which spice wasn’t included in the exchange? What’s the shoestring fries of salads? It’s the episode with some surprising serialized consequences.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Here's to the finest crew in Starling. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the sun. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple guys. Just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast, I'm Ben Harrison. And I'm Adam Pranica! Adam, I was looking around my office, thinking about straightening it up, and then I was like, psh, why bother?
Starting point is 00:00:31 But then, one of the things I noticed strewn about in here... ...was the Bible. And I realized, it's been a long time since we've cracked the good book, the show Bible, for Star Trek Enterprise. I don't even remember my last confession. I confess nothing. It's good to see you all in church. He's called to the Bible. That's the way God wants it. I don't know why, dude. All these questions? Is a little blind faith too much to ask?
Starting point is 00:01:04 All these questions? Is a little blind fate too much to ask? Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Should we pick another character's bio from the show and read it? Can you remind me who we've done already? I think we've done Archer Tapau, Sub-Commander Tapau, and I think we did Spike Tucker. Oh yeah. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Um. I mean, I guess that just leaves Mayweather and Flocks, right? Yeah, we got Mayweather, Flocks, Reed. Oh and Hoshi. And Hoshi. Those are the character bios. And then we've got the Starship Enterprise herself. Uh, something about the Suleymane Cabal. Why don't you give us a flocks?
Starting point is 00:01:49 You wanna hear flocks? I think I do. Flocks plays a pretty important role in this one. Yeah, okay. Full name, Flocks Tunai-Urtan. He goes by Flocks, for our benefit. Our most exotic character. The Doctor is an eccentric alien with an oblique sense of humor that no one quite understands.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Because he speaks with an accent and isn't familiar with Earth cultures, there are many humorous misunderstandings. Flox thinks that humanity is fascinating. The complex sexual mores. Understandings flocks thinks that humanity is fascinating the complex sexual mores species reproduces asexually Social custom. Oh my what wonderful creatures These strange sentence construction here in the Bible, you know, but that's like the thing it's like ancient text You know, it wasn't written in a modern vernacular
Starting point is 00:02:43 Sure. Yeah. Is that it? No, there's another paragraph here. Okay. You know what's so interesting about the way Phlox is written in the Bible and about the many misunderstandings that are baked into this character? Yeah. Is that all of the cultural mismatch that occurs between him and other members of the crew.
Starting point is 00:03:07 It's kind of magical how always kind and funny those misunderstandings are. They're never like, God, Phlox was fucking cruel to Hoshi in that one scene, like, ouch, like, like that is totally withering. You never get that. Or at least we have him so far. I do like that there's a little paternalism in the way he enjoys human culture, like, we're a little bit quaint and backwards to him, you know? I mean his people have been around the block. Yeah. It's like, oh, you only fuck one of each other at a time? Oh man. I mean, that's really it, isn't it? It's like that poly attitude
Starting point is 00:03:45 of like, oh that's cute. You're married huh? Neat. Oh you're having a tough time communicating? He does have that energy. Yeah. To say that the doctor has made himself at home on the Enterprise is putting it mildly. He's filled Sixth Bay with all sorts of bizarre medical instruments, alien plants and spores, and stasis chambers filled with small living creatures. He practices a brand of intergalactic medicine, the likes of which we've never seen. This makes the most routine visit to Sixth Bay an unexpected adventure. Yeah, it's Star Trek within Star Trek, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:04:27 Like that's what Six Bay is on Enterprise. You never know what's gonna go inside you down there. I feel like the Six Bay this describes though is not quite visually what is represented on the show. Like I kind of wish it was a little more mad sciency in there based on the show. Like I kind of wish it was a little more mad sciency in there based on this description. Like we see the terrariums and stuff from time to time, but it's not like all terrariums and like jackoff machines,
Starting point is 00:04:54 all the maestro in Star Trek Voyager, you know. Ha ha ha, maravilloso. Do you think you'd be more apt to go to Six-Bay, manned by Dr. Flax or less given the expectation of something weird? Because on the one hand, you should fully expect the unexpected going to his Six Bay. But also I think you must presume that you're going to get great medical care that probably is a shortcut to whatever you want done in a way that Starfleet medicine
Starting point is 00:05:28 is incapable of providing. Yeah. I mean, I think that he is definitely more capable than anybody in Starfleet that could have gotten put on duty of chief medical officer on board the NX01. But I do think that like even in a immediately post-utopian human society like we're talking about here, like they just got all their shit together, I got to imagine a human thing that we all suffer from that they probably still would suffer from to some extent is like, I don't know what the fuck that is and that's weird to. And I'm a little bit nervous about it. When you go to Sixth Bay and he wants to put a,
Starting point is 00:06:09 like an alien leech on you or whatever. Most of his cures seem to involve reptiles and blood sucking, blood, blood letting, the letting of all kinds of fluids really. I was watching an episode of Bluey with my son the other day and they like go through a river or something and they get leeches on them. And I was like, I guess in Australia,
Starting point is 00:06:31 like getting leeches is no big deal because it's just a part of life as a kid. You just get some leeches sometimes and you pull them off you. Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal? Was there a classic scene where a kid gets out of the river and then like looks down their underpants and freaks out? Because I think legally, if you've been covered in leeches,
Starting point is 00:06:54 your genitals must also have a leech on them. Right. And it's not that. It's just it's like, oh yeah, like their dad is like, ah, you got some leeches on you, kiddo. You know, that happens to everyone. Have you ever had a leech on you? You've been to a lot of places around the world. I have, and I've been in some pretty sus bodies of water,
Starting point is 00:07:14 I must say, but I've never had a leech. And I feel like... God, I lost money on that bet. I would have been positive you'd had a leech on you. I would just say, like, maybe Australians would be better adapted to flying around with flocks than other members of Starfleet, you know? I'm just shocked.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Has Benjamin R. Harrison ever had a leech on him? No. What about you, random Australian? Ner. Very surprising. You know? Very surprising. Yeah, you know. Hey, are you kind of leech curious? I got to admit I'm a little bit leech curious.
Starting point is 00:07:53 I wonder what it feels like pulling it off. Like is it? You hear that they're not painful because their saliva is numbing. Yeah. But is it like ripping off a bandaid when when they come off, or is it like a little bit more intense than that? I swear, baby, it was leeches. I took a trip to Australia, right? You know that. I was in Australia working.
Starting point is 00:08:17 I have a... so I have a hickey on my pecker. You wouldn't do that normally. Must be one of those undisclosed sexual aids. What is that? It's never leeches. It's never leeches. That's what the suspicious wife thinks. Yeah, were the leeches also wearing bright red lipstick and kissing your collar?
Starting point is 00:08:40 Yeah. Yeah. Do the leeches smell like Chanel? Maybe if you swim on the river where the Chanel factory operates and dumps other wastewater, that could be nice. Well, an alluring scent may be at play in today's episode of Star Trek Enterprise, Adam. Definitely some bright lipstick. It is season three, episode four. Ragi. Got free speech and guitars.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Our cold open is at another meeting of the Zindi of the Roundtable, where they're discussing what Enterprise has been up to now. Here's the thing, everyone's mad at Degra. Poor Degra has fallen behind on the development of his planet killing weapon. And everyone's like, you know what Degra, if you're not gonna deliver the weapon on time, maybe we're just gonna see if we can come up
Starting point is 00:09:41 with some different weapons, some more horrible weapons that you couldn't possibly develop Because you're so fucking slow It would be nice if some of these Indy had a the Emperor is coming to motivate Degra, you know, like I feel like when you're building a planet killer weapon That is a giant sphere you want the threat of emperor to really freak out whoever is in charge of building that thing.
Starting point is 00:10:11 The Death Star will be completed on schedule. There is not a bunch of like racial put down pushbacks from Degra here, because you would expect Degra to look at the tank full of the Aquatics Indie and he was like, what are you going to do? Like, like you're going to build a bomb underwater? That's fucking stupid. That will never work. Yet somehow the responsibility is on me, Degra, the dry one to build the bomb.
Starting point is 00:10:39 But also Degra, when you're explaining you're losing and when you're talking about how this is a difficult and dangerous project, nobody gives a shit. Yeah, yeah. No one cares about all of the obstacles. Hey Degra, would you say you blame your difficulties on other people? Cause you know, when you, I'm looking at your hand Degra, you don't have like either an insect claw
Starting point is 00:11:02 or an underwater flapper. Or a flipper. If you're going to point at someone and blame them, guess what? You and your species of Zindi are going to have fingers pointing back at them. Man, can you imagine the like segregationist past of the Zindi home world and how many fucking water fountains they must've had? I mean, if you're underwater Zindi, your whole world is a fountain, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Those guys were sitting pretty back there.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Ha ha ha. I bet underwater Zindi were the last ones to join the group. Like, the four Zindi species, they find each other, they know each other, they're like, cool, all right. I mean, what sucks is we're like an even number of Zindia. So that makes voting and agreeing on things difficult.
Starting point is 00:11:48 But I mean, that's just who we are. That's that's who we've got at the table. One of them goes on vacation and goes swimming. God damn it. Really? Really? There's another. Yeah. And they're talking to me like they swim out to the raft. And and everyone's like, hey, hey look Jerry made it out to the raft Good job, Jerry, and he's like he's like what is he saying? He seems distressed
Starting point is 00:12:12 He seems kind of pissed off out there One of them touched my leg And they're talking also that that's also very disturbing just swim back It looks like he doesn't want to get in the water. Is there should we get a boat? Also, that's also very disturbing. Just swim back. It looks like he doesn't want to get in the water. Is there, should we get a boat? Degra is not enjoying the dunk session that's happening at this meeting on poor Degra and they're like, look, if Degra can't hack it with the building or whatever, I mean, should we even deploy when he finally completes
Starting point is 00:12:46 the bomb making? I mean, can we trust it? I think we should consider other options at this table. And that's the cold open. As Spock put it in Star Trek 2009, it's logical to cultivate multiple opportunities. Sure is. After the theme, we're into Paul's room. She and Trip Tucker are doing another relaxation session and she is impressed at his progress. You've been practicing at home, haven't you Trip? It's another to rub and tug session. You can't help but say it, but people are starting to talk to Paul about all these late
Starting point is 00:13:27 night sessions, about me coming over in my pajamas and then leaving a couple hours later, appearing to be very relaxed. You know the implication of that, right? I see no reason to be concerned with idle gossip. It doesn't bother you. Just the chub he's got to be sporting in his off-duty sweatpants as he slinks back to his room is giving away the game, right? Everybody's like, all right, we know what's going on here. Do you get the sense that it is more than just Reed that's gossiping or is it Reed only?
Starting point is 00:14:03 I need something to do with this ship, come on. Fair enough. Because Reed is the example cited, but there is definitely an air of the ship's got gossips, people are talking about us, I'm not super comfortable with that. Yeah, I mean, does Trip have any friends outside of Reed is another question that I think we should probably
Starting point is 00:14:22 give some consideration to. I mean, if not, that is actually a pretty bad sign for Tripp Tucker. I love to Paul here. She's like, I generally do not care about gossip on board the ship. And I specifically do not care about Reed's opinion on what's going on here. So do you think we can continue? That guy that's a lieutenant is bothering you? Do you remember that he's a lieutenant, right?
Starting point is 00:14:48 That guy is not worthy to lick the massage oil off our boots. Must let's talk shit about us behind our backs. How about you tell Reed next time he's got some sort of quip about what we do in the evening with each other. Have him record a log to one of his ex-girlfriends about it. Leave us the fuck alone. Archer is also having lousy sleep and we see him tossing and turning in bed. The immediate thought I had is like,
Starting point is 00:15:18 can T'Pol help him out too? Or is that like too many people to be surrubbing and to tugging? You know, normally it's the dog keeping the human awake. In this case, it's Archer keeping porthos awake. Yeah. All scratchy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:35 And normally it would be the dog scratching themselves. This time it's Archer. It is the remainder of his Cro-Mag loaf that he goes down to Sixth Bay and is getting like unguents to put on it. He's still got little like lingering stuff and this is like days and days later. Isn't it surprising how serialized consequences feel on Star Trek in a series where we're kind of not used to those? I know. I was ready for used to those? I know.
Starting point is 00:16:05 I was ready for this to be something totally different. Like, what's going on with Archer's skin? And no, it is stuff from last episode that is bothering Archer's skin. Yeah. You were transformed into a different species. Don't expect to recover overnight. Speaking of skin, they still need to coat the skin of the ship with Trellium D. They've got a lead on this.
Starting point is 00:16:27 They met a chemist who knows how to make it. Synthesis of Trellium D is something that would put mines like the one that they visited out of business, but he claims to have a method and is willing to sell it to them. Do you recall a reason why they just don't go back to that mine and kick some ass and take it? I mean, that wet guy is there and he was kind of a pain in the butt. They killed the boss.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Did they kill him? Oh yeah, that guy got shot in the face by Omako. Oh. He's dead anyway. Yeah, but they did have like ships that were also, you know, like they're- Why not avoid the heat, I guess. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:09 So, you know, Archer is like, we got to go find that chemist guy. I mean, he's on this planet that we're going to, but man, all I can think about is that the city of Urquat and how much I would rather live there. Yeah. Underground with all the other Lokech. That is another long symptom to what's happened to him.
Starting point is 00:17:31 That's gonna be sticking around a while. He's got long Lokech? He does. Yeah. Yeah, so Enterprise pulls up to a very blue planet. Yeah, it's a libertarian paradise, a whole seasteading operation. They send a shuttle pod down there. And I was like thinking to myself,
Starting point is 00:17:50 flocks would love it here as the line flies out of Tripp's mouth, because they're in a wet market. It's true. We get another bizarre setup. They got everything. They got animals, they got eggs, they got produce, they got the hard sellers that you get at a bazaar who are not too keen about giving directions. They are more keen on selling their wares. Scarves, so many scarves available in this bazaar. Not even the chemist is interested in talking to Archer at first when they finally find him.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Yeah. But as soon as things feel profitable conversationally, this guy opens right up. He knows the value of the information he's got about the Zindi. I'd be happy to direct you for a small fee. Good thing Tripp Tucker has kind of an inventory of stuff that they can barter in exchange.
Starting point is 00:18:41 So that's good, right? This guy's got real stool-y in a cop show energy. Like, oh yeah, there was some Zindi here, but I can't remember where they were going after this. And they're like, would my friend Abraham jog your memory? Kind of... Everything is for sale here. And what they're doing is going around claiming
Starting point is 00:19:00 that they're on a diplomatic mission to meet some Zindi. But yeah, they're going to need to head back to the ship to get the stuff that this guy wants in exchange for the recipe. While Trip is occupied with that Archer and Reed roll up on the guy the chemist referred them to, this is a guy who had met the Zendi. And his deal for selling slaves so infectious, did this get stuck in your head? Come on baby, come on baby, hot girl slaves.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Come on baby, come on baby. Hot girl slaves, have a, have a look. Hot girl slaves, have a, have a look. Hot girl slaves, very, very good. Hot girl slaves, very, very good. Hot girl slaves. And now it's just stuck in your head. Yeah, yeah. This guy looks like he's straight out of Dragon Ball Z with his loaf.
Starting point is 00:20:05 He looks like he could get along with the old what's-her-name, the Andorian. Like, they've got some chromosomal features that, if combined, would make just a skyscraper forehead... ...as a child. You're talking about a form of selective breeding. Yes. Eugenics, some might call it, to achieve the tallest head. Eugenics, but good.
Starting point is 00:20:33 That's what I'm advocating for. Oh, yeah. For just hilarious consequences like eight heads. Why has nobody ever thought about this with eugenics? It's always said such a bad rap because it's only ever used for bad. Let's just make really tall foreheads for a while. That's fun, right? So the Zintni left two days ago
Starting point is 00:20:55 and he's not telling where they went because he has some standards as a humanoid trafficker, I guess you would call him. You know, he keeps the private business of his clients private. And he suggests to Archer like, maybe if you bought one of these, these are here slave girls, they could tell you something. Cause they're not bound by the same professional ethics code that I, a slaver, am bound by.
Starting point is 00:21:23 It kind of makes a lot of sense. And if I'm Archer, I gotta be considering this, right? And if I'm Reed, I'm definitely considering it. Like Reed's got his wallet out in this scene, I think. Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, Reed's wallet pops out because his pants suddenly get kind of tight around the waist and it just like doesn't have any space left in his pocket. There's this moment where Archer says, no,
Starting point is 00:21:47 no, I am not interested in buying a slave. And yet no one says he can't window shop. So he's having a good look at the goods. And there's one lady up on the top shelf who has a very intense stare. And it seems like she might be a problem. But Archer gets a phone call from Trip and starts walking away. Walking away from such beauty. How can he do it?
Starting point is 00:22:12 Archer looks down at his iPhone and it says, Trip and like where the business would be, like, parenthesis nipples. You're never going to let that go, are you? Because initially, it's hard to learn everyone's name on the crew. You need a description also for how you know them. Many contacts on my phone are like this. How do I know this person? I used to live on Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn, and I was Ben Bedford in my wife's phone for a decade
Starting point is 00:22:47 And I'm not that anymore and I kind of wish I still was then that name was turned into a Ben bed me And then now it's more like Ben no more bedding. Yeah. Yeah, exactly It's it's Ben sleeps in a separate bed. That's what it is now Ben get out of bed and check on the kids. So yeah, they're going to meet back at the shuttle so that they can go up and get all the stuff that they're trading for the recipe. And one of these slaves that Frieza is selling makes a run for it and I guess they don't have any like
Starting point is 00:23:30 ankle shackles or You know Restraining bolts or anything on these slave girls. I mean this is on Zajad, isn't it? You gotta chain them up. You gotta chain them up. You see this in science fiction all the time Like you think Leia is gonna stick around with Jabba if she's not chained up I mean like also that was on Jabba like don't give Leia that much slack in her chain You know like don't give her enough chain that it can go around your neck I know I know and this guy, you know similar mistake
Starting point is 00:24:01 can go around your neck. I know. I know. And this guy, you know, similar mistake, similar, but worse mistake, I would say. I mean, the longest leash is no chain at all. Isn't it? So many marmots get disturbed in the Star Trek fight because she rakes a run for it.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Take me with you, please. And now Archer has to defend her from her seller. And they're knocking over cages of these local delicacies slash delightful pets that everybody's selling. Great fight. So much fun. Lots of stuff getting knocked over. Scarf getting repurposed as a Garrett.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Yeah, big fun. Yeah. Big fun. They kick this guy's ass and they're out of there. Their next scene is in Six-Bay and even Flax is not immune to her appeal. He's hitting on her, telling her how much he likes her eyes and she introduces herself as Rajin and she will serve Archer well. Do you think it's easy for doctors to
Starting point is 00:25:06 flirt in general because you can always blame it on being clinical? Like I couldn't help but notice, uh, your pupillary dilation from across the bar. Uh, it seems like you may be inebriated or whatever, like, like a doctor can say things and has a reason to engage that you could just play off as, oh no, I'm a doctor.
Starting point is 00:25:29 That's why I was saying that. The first time I ever saw boobs in a movie was my parents rented the film, Doc Hollywood. Love Doc Hollywood. And- Not specifically for that, but I liked that movie. They did not know there were gonna be boobs in this movie. And I was probably like 10 or something when topless lady
Starting point is 00:25:48 comes out of the lake that she's been swimming in. And Michael J. Fox invokes his status as a doctor to say like, hey, don't worry about being topless around me. I've seen it all. I'm a doctor. I mean, it was Julie Warner. Yeah. And there was a time for Julie Warner.
Starting point is 00:26:08 I just want to say that. Oh, I fully believe it. I have not rewatched that movie since the incredibly awkward experience of seeing it as a 10 year old, you know, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my parents in the TV room. Like, I think that it is such a perfectly horny moment it on the floor in front of my parents in the TV room.
Starting point is 00:26:25 I think that it is such a perfectly horny moment in my memory of the film that I don't want to ruin it by actually watching it now and seeing if it holds up. Because you still use it from time to time as a memory? All the time. To maybe get yourself over the top when needed? Yeah. Imagine I was a doctor and I was saying, you should not feel the need to cover yourself in front of me, for I can be trusted with the knowledge of what them tites look like.
Starting point is 00:26:55 It's not the scene, but the moment though that you use. It is you very specifically with your parents watching this movie. Why did you just say your mom and dad are sitting behind you on a couch? Sorry, the moment just kind of got away from me. Why when you're about to bust, do you keep saying, let's rewind that part, let's rewind that part, let's rewind that part?
Starting point is 00:27:17 When Archer walks in, he also likes her eyes in a different way. And anyway, this lady's name is Rajene, and she's very thankful for being out of that hellhole. Yeah. She thinks she's been purchased and she's ready to work. Yeah, yeah. They're like, oh yeah, like you don't have to do that. We're going to take you back to Arometku, the home world of your species, and she's like... I'm told it's called Arontoku, but...
Starting point is 00:27:47 I don't know her. You remember that sketch Wong and Owen, ex-porn stars from, like, 90s SNL? Uh, not ringing a bell. The, uh... Like, the conceit of it is, like, ex-porn stars try to get square jobs to, like, work in an office.
Starting point is 00:28:04 But, like, obviously, things get unintentionally sexualized. like ex porn stars try to get square jobs or like work in an office, but like obviously things get unintentionally sexualized and as soon as they're called out on their porn star bullshit, they make you feel bad for them because they're like, it's all I know, it's all I know. And that's kind of the Regine energy here, which is like, she's ready to thank Archer
Starting point is 00:28:26 for saving her because it's all she knows. Right. She only has one lever she can pull in life to make the situation better for herself. And she is not familiar with the idea of somebody that isn't just using her for what she looks like. So there are a number of times when this creates misunderstandings between her and her captors or what they are interpreting as misunderstandings. Back on the libertarian paradise planet where everyone is seasteading.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Tripp has brought a Halliburton briefcase full of what we are going to assume is going to be bands for this chemist. And when we open it up, it's not bands. It's a bunch of like McCormick spices in jars. This is very exciting to him, especially as Tripp kind of, kind of sweetens the pot going like, we used to fight wars over these things on our home world.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Now we kicked all the asses of the people that, that cultivate them and they just kind of send them to us. We don't have to fight wars anymore. It's just part of global capitalism. Kind of kind of subsumed into an economy that extracts from the global south and enriches the global north. And the guy's like, I don't know about any of that. Anyways, really excited about
Starting point is 00:29:52 huffing pepper. This is great. And his nostrils are up near his eyes. That's just going to make an eye-watering situation, isn't it? I thought for sure this guy was going to wind up having some horrible sickness, just given how irritated his nostrils looked. You know?
Starting point is 00:30:08 There's a lot of redness and puffiness around those nostrils. Spice melange, not one of the spices, traded in exchange for the Trillium. No. This guy's never going to become a level three guilt navigator, huffing black pepper. for the trellium. No, this guy's never gonna become a level three guilt navigator, Huffin' Black Pepper. There is sort of a Gremlin style warning to the liquid trellium exchange. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:30:33 The chemist is like, look, it's a liquid now because that's how it's made. You need to take this recipe and turn it into the ship insulation that you needed for. But here's the thing, this stuff is explosive. So be careful. It's real explosive. And as they leave, it becomes clear that this guy
Starting point is 00:30:55 is kind of like a sneeze maxer. Like literally he paid for these spices with this priceless synthesis of shrelium-D recipe so that he could get the giggles because he had a sneeze. Is this a sex thing? I'm not familiar with that word or with that term. Oh, I mean, I don't know. I've definitely seen a toddler do it.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Think having sneezed is a very funny thing to do. Oh, weird. Yeah, I don't know. a toddler do it. Like think having sneezed is a very funny thing to do. Oh, weird. Yeah, I don't know. The French call it the little death, sneezing, right? He does the cinnamon challenge on himself. Basically. That's tough.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Don't love that. On Enterprise, Archer has chosen to have dinner with Rajin. And we know this isn't a date because whenever you choose to have a salad where the leaves are enormous and Then there's that big wafer of parmesan crisp in the middle That's not a date because that's not food that you can cleanly eat in front of a potential romantic partner It's like the shoestring fries of salads, you know, it's like there's only embarrassing ways to eat it, you know What's wrong with shoestring fries of salads. You know, it's like, there's only embarrassing ways to eat it. You know?
Starting point is 00:32:07 What's wrong with shoestring fries? They're just very hard to eat in a non-embarrassing way. Like I'm not going to eat one at a time, like a fucking asshole. Go on. I, I'm thinking about all the times I've had and enjoyed shoestring fries. You're just grabbing some fries and you're, you're eating them. Right. But like the bird nest that you get is hard to eat gracefully.
Starting point is 00:32:28 You got to choose a small nest. There's no way to choose a small nest. You got to be strategic. You can't just have the fully loaded shoestring fries. I would much rather have big leaf salad with parmesan wedge on a date than shoestring fries on a date. I think that's madness. I can't get on that level. Anyway, I'm surprised that they're together enjoying a meal. But I think the saladness of the moment
Starting point is 00:32:54 de-romanticizes what this is. Sure. And further de-romanticizing it is when he starts to pump her, not for his own pleasure, but for Intel on the Zindi. And she describes these reptilian ones that came to the slave girl market and how she was kind of relieved
Starting point is 00:33:17 not to be purchased by them because yee. And that's kind of like as much as she thinks she knows about these guys. She's like, you're never going to believe the little sea monsters, Indy. Like, I could describe them to you, you're just not going to, you're just going to have to see them to believe them, all right, Archer? Yeah. Trust me.
Starting point is 00:33:36 I mean, like, just thank your lucky stars that you don't see them first by swimming out to the raft, you know? I mean, I will say, as a sex slave, the one advantage to the underwaterers, Indy, is that they can hold their breath a very long time. Archer's like, you're kind of a cool sex worker. You're like, you're kind of pretty womaning me right now with this riz, aren't you? Yeah. Let me give you a tip. I'm a sure thing, okay? So, I'm on an hourly rate, could we just move along?
Starting point is 00:34:10 It's getting steamy in there with the Riz and Trip kind of dumps a bucket of ice water on that by radioing up about his synthesis project. Where do you think they are for this dinner? Are they in the captain's mess? I thought so, yeah. I thought so too, but I wasn't sure, which is what made him just leaving her alone there. Something felt off about that and it made me suspicious of her in a way we're meant to feel suspicious. Yeah, because he's described like there are a couple of parts of the ship that you can't
Starting point is 00:34:42 go, but you can basically go anywhere. Like we're going to treat you as an honored guest. How much trouble can she get into in the dining room? Yeah. With a neckline plunging like that, you know, probably not much. Yeah. So yeah, they've basically set up like a meth lab in like a part of the ship that's designed to be like a place where they can bug out for cosmic radiation or whatever because it's like, it's tough, you can handle a boom.
Starting point is 00:35:11 It's kind of where you'd want your apartment if you were staying on Enterprise. Yeah. It kind of seems like the best spot. Yeah, if you wanted an apartment that's like a ramshackle shed on the outskirts of town that not a lot of people are gonna ask questions about. It's the cheapest cabin on the Star Trek cruise, windowless, deep in the middle. That's-
Starting point is 00:35:33 Bump your head on the ceiling. That's where the Uxbridge-Shamoda team will be if we ever get onto a Star Trek cruise. Yeah. Like the underwater's India, I'm not holding my breath. So this lab is set up between two emergency bulkheads for safety. But that night in Archer's quarters,
Starting point is 00:35:53 Regine shows up wearing a dress that makes Archer think that some emergency bulkhead might be on order. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, he's... That's what we do on this show. Mm-hmm. He's trying to remember if he packed his dome cloak or not. Right, right. I love how in order to desexualize the moment Archer starts talking, he knows that's what he has to do to make this less like that. Yeah. And she wants to sex him up. She's like, you know, like, you don't have to feel like I'm doing this for slavery reasons.
Starting point is 00:36:31 I'm doing it because I really appreciate you helping me out and taking me to my home planet or whatever. Like, I don't know anybody there. I don't necessarily want to go there, but you got me out of a bad situation. Listen, I was, I was in sex slavery for a reason. I can really do some amazing shit. You're not going to believe it. I'm the handjob queen of the galaxy.
Starting point is 00:36:54 I have certain gifts which you'd like me to show you. She starts kind of hover handing him and her hover hands make his birdie see through. Yeah. We get to see everything in this episode. This looks fairly pleasurable for Archer to be experiencing. It does. The weird part about this scene, and it's the only moment this happens, because she does this to some other people
Starting point is 00:37:26 on the crew later on. There's sort of a time jump where it feels like Archer might've been slipped to Mickey. Like he snaps out of it and he's like, did that really happen? And they're like further apart than he thought they were. And she's like, you good? And he's like, what, huh?
Starting point is 00:37:45 What? Yeah. And she's like, you good? And he's like, what? Huh? What? Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Why are you asking? Yeah, like we're having a lot of fun together, right? Legally, it's just a fart joke. You know how when you have a cold, you could grab any tissue, but reaching for the good stuff just feels different? That thin, scratchy stuff might technically do the job, but the real deal, that soft,
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Starting point is 00:40:07 on your first box. That's code scarves50off at factormeals.com slash scarves50off for 50% off plus free shipping. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a meritorious misguided medicine, right? That's true, Justin. Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician? No, Justin, that is absolutely not true.
Starting point is 00:40:32 However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past, as well as some current not so legit health care fads. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better. Sure. And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor? Well, you could say that, but. And our podcast is free? Yes, it is free.
Starting point is 00:40:52 You heard it here first folks, Sawbones, Merrell Ture, Miss Guy, The Medicine, right here on Maximum Fun, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor, but pretty good. It's up there. The Flophouse is a podcast where we watch a bad movie
Starting point is 00:41:07 and then we talk about it. Robert Shaw in Jaws, and they're trying to figure out how to get rid of the ghoulies, and he scratches his nails and goes, I'll get your ghoulie. He's just standing above the toilet with a heartburn. No, I'm just looking forward to you going through the other ways in which Wild Wild West
Starting point is 00:41:19 is historically inaccurate. Do you know how much movies cost nowadays when you add in your popcorn and your bagel bites and your cheese gritters? You can't go wrong with a Henry Cavill mustache. Here at Henry Cavill Mustache is the only supplier. The Flophouse, new episodes every Saturday. Find it at MaximumFun.org. greatest chin alive. Ben would rather die.
Starting point is 00:41:45 We cut over to the Trillium Trap House where Tripp and T'Pol are cooking things up and things are feeling dangerous because they can't get on top of this temperature spike. Stuff's getting out of control and some alarms start going off and do they need to evacuate? T'Pol asks. Tripp's like, no. T'Pol's like, really? Because we could evacuate right now. Yeah. I did like that they started the scene with a kind of shaky cam shot of a sign that said, Trillium D Synthesis Facility. And all of Tripp's ideas for how to fix it are like, grab me that, you know, elastic band from that table over there.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Big fun. And T'Pol keeps saying how much time they have left. Yeah. Yeah. The third time T'Pol suggests evacuation, Tripp finally gets the message. And like, as the door meets the jam, this thing blows big. Yeah. They're going to need to take a break
Starting point is 00:42:49 cause this was an explosion that set them back. Like they're going to have to rebuild the lab basically to try again. What isn't said is like, they need housekeeping to reset the lab in there. Like, why don't we give them some time? Trip is like, let's get right back into it. And T'Pol is like, let's take a nap. And by nap, I mean, I give you a rub down.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Yeah. I prefer you arrested before we make another attempt. Elsewhere at the transporter, Regine has been looking around as she was invited to do by Archer, where she is spotted by Hoshi, who isn't upset to see a stranger near a sensitive piece of ship equipment, but isn't upset either. There's kind of a real official, she's not a jerk about it,
Starting point is 00:43:40 but she's like, hey, what are you doing here by the transporter? And then she gets a special handshake from Regine, But she's like, Hey, what are you doing here by the transporter? And then she gets a special handshake from Regine, which changes things between them from a, what are you doing here? To a, what could we be doing here? Kind of vibe. Yeah. Hoshi is delighted to learn that Regine is a bit of a linguist herself.
Starting point is 00:44:03 And, you know, a couple of ladies adept in linguistics can have a lot of fun together, you know? I'd love to hear your language. Actually, I speak quite a few. Cod over to T'Pol's quarters where Regine has been waiting for her. Creepy moment. Kind of a horror movie blocking of Regine appearing. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:44:28 T'Pol is going to get a special hand job too. Because it's like, how much time has elapsed between those two moments is like hard to know, right? She's working fast. Yeah. And Regine is very curious about what kind of finger stuff Vulcans are capable of. And this is like sort of the stuff of legend in Star Trek. Kind of felt to me like T'Pol was going to get a nosebleed from this kind of hand job.
Starting point is 00:44:52 We've seen it before in Star Trek. Yeah. But even T'Pol's disciplined mind is putty in Regine's hands. If you're TripTucker, how long are you waiting outside, ringing the doorbell for the agreed upon massage session? It seems like he's out there kind of a long time. Yeah. He's like, we cut to him in the hallway ringing the bell, and then we cut to Regine and to
Starting point is 00:45:19 Paul inflating a miniature inflatable pool and then like pouring some soil and getting out the hose and filling it with water and then like starting their mud wrestling match. And then we keep cutting back to the hallway where Tripp's like, I don't know what's going on in there and keeps ringing the bell. Sometimes T'Pol likes to take a pre-massage dump.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Yeah. Well, I better leave her to it. The mud wrestle finally gets interrupted when Tripp comes in and finds a KO'd T'Pol. And he's like standing over her unconscious birdie when Regine drops a, like a breakaway vase over his head. What do you make of T'Pol's body on the ground after having fought with Regine? This seems too posed.
Starting point is 00:46:15 Yeah. And it's because she's beautiful. Like we're going to set her down in kind of an angelic corpse pose kind of way, but like she should be in a heap. She's not in a heap. She's in Shavasana. Yeah. Yeah. We learned at this point that Regine is in cahoots with someone because she starts getting on a little transmitter and radioing with some guy. And it becomes clear that all of the stuff about like, oh, I want to like repay you the favor of getting me out of slavery
Starting point is 00:46:42 or whatever was entirely a put on. Regine has been working them from jump. Sex workers got game. So does the security dude who gets the magic fingers when he tries to challenge her. This guy stood no chance. The captain would like to see you. There's no need to bother the captain.
Starting point is 00:47:04 He had nothing to defend himself from what she is working with. I mean, he had a phaser, which Regine takes and that's crucial because she starts wielding this thing at any security person who comes after her. Yeah. At this point, it's gone out ship wide that she needs to be caught. So groups of Makos and security people are running around, chasing her.
Starting point is 00:47:29 This gets her into engineering where at one point she does a pretty awesome John Woo flinging herself over the railing and falling down a story while shooting action move. Yeah, Mike Vahar clearly has watched a lot of Chao Yuen fat films because this is right out of that, for sure. Pretty great moment. I mean, this is the sort of stunt that involves the mats. You break out the mats for this one.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Yeah. They've got those on the Paramount lot, you know? Mm-hmm. So she gets to the transporter when finally Archer and a couple of red shirts catch her. And Archer is like, so hurt that this was all put on. He shows up at the strip club and he's like, "'Babe, you told me you loved me." And she's like, it's not like that, man.
Starting point is 00:48:23 That's like the job. Yeah. Yeah. He is very hurt. Here's a question I had. When he tells security to drag her away to the brig, why didn't he put a pair of welding gloves on her hands or something? Because what is stopping her from giving hand jobs all the way to the brig?
Starting point is 00:48:44 what is stopping her from giving hand jobs all the way to the brig? The red shirts that took her did not look like, you know, guys who could resist her charms. And he didn't like brief them on what she's capable of or anything. No, that's bad. Like, I think you need 12 people to take this perp to the brig. I think so too. I think it's bad. You know what you need is like all of the gay dudes on the ship and all of the straight women on the ship to get together and take her to the brig.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Only people that are completely immune to her charms. I think you could argue that no one's immune, Ben. Wow. I think a great hand job overrides gender preference in this case. She is just like the skilled practitioner on the other side of the glory hole and you don't really care what her pronouns are. A hand is a hand. Hands are just hands. Somehow these guys are interested to take her to the brig.
Starting point is 00:49:47 And we learned from Flax that T'Pol would be dead if she were human or denobulant. It's only her extremely rugged Vulcan physiology that saved her from the super hand job she received. And she's not going to be back in action for a few hours. saved her from the super hand job she received. And she's not gonna be back in action for a few hours. This is a new archer. This is season three archer, which is why when he's told by a medical professional that T'Pol will be down for the count while he can administer to her injuries,
Starting point is 00:50:21 he's like, can I talk to her? Can you wake her up so I can talk to her? I gotta ask her some stuff. He would never do that in season two. Yeah, no. I won't cease or desist Cause you really think it's fair use So he goes down instead to talk to Regine in jail.
Starting point is 00:50:44 He's like, who was that on the other end of the line when you're talking on your little flip phone there and she won't tell him. Is that your boyfriend or something? Like, who was that guy? Are you guys serious or like what? Like, what does he mean to you? Cause I thought what we had was special.
Starting point is 00:51:01 What we did with your hands and my head, you know? Like, that didn't mean anything to you? How is that possible? She has no answers for him to any of his questions. I asked you a question. I can't answer it. She's just like, you are Ralph Wiggum in the back of the bus, man. You're in danger. And that's all I could say.
Starting point is 00:51:24 If I tell you anymore, you're in danger. And that's all I could say. If I tell you anymore, they'll kill me. The one thing she says, which got a laugh out of me, a real laugh, which was like, all I can tell you is you should let me go. Which is such a fucking Pee-wee's big adventure suggestion. Why would he in a million years do that? Yeah. Maybe the they she keeps talking about
Starting point is 00:51:57 is the two zindi reptilian crafts coming up behind the entrepreneur who are now shooting at the ship and bangers are getting dropped while Archer is looking through the reinforced glass into the brig. We learn that they're here for her. She says, listen, they're not going to hurt anybody if you just let me go. And he's pretty hard in this moment. He's like, there's 7 million deads back on my home world. Why the fuck do you think I would think twice about killing you? Ben, somehow magically, you've been given the command of a Federation starship. Try to imagine bangers have been dropped on your ship while you're in the brig talking to a prisoner.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Can you think of any circumstance why you would not return to the bridge immediately as those bangers dropped? They're feeling them in the brig. Archer gets a message from Mayweather about these ships. Archer chooses to stay in the brig. Archer gets a message from Mayweather about these ships. Archer chooses to stay in the brig. This blew me away. It was a good choice by him because I think she's realizing that these bangers threaten her as much as anybody else.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Yeah, and to stay near her means to solve the mystery of who these guys are because they're clearly after her. Get the information that she was guarding before. So she's like, okay, they wanted to make a bio weapon, but they don't know enough about your physiology to do it. And I can scan with my hands, baby. That's what I was doing to you guys, was getting the information that they need for this bio weapon. And like, that's really all I know. And as she is explaining this, we learned that one of the Zindi craft
Starting point is 00:53:31 is coming up alongside and is going to like forcibly dock with the entrepreneur. And this seemed a little silly to me. Like, can anyone really force you to dock with them? Like, couldn't they just roll away, like, the second they get close? I think that's why you don't see the exterior shot of this being attempted. Yeah. Because it doesn't really make a lot of sense.
Starting point is 00:53:55 They station a bunch of Makos in the corridors, you know, preparing to defend the ship from the boarding parties. But three Makos is not enough guys, you know? You need a lot of guys because the Reptilians are sending a lot of guys. Yeah, by the time we learn how many, Reed tells Archer that three boarding parties have been let in and they are just laying waste
Starting point is 00:54:16 to the few Makos that have been sent to go get them. It's not working. How many fucking Makos do we have? Like what, what are they all on break? Like send them to defend the ship. They're all sitting in the mess hall at Hoshi's table. So Reed and Archer split up and they each take a couple of Makos with them. And, uh, I don't know about you, Ben.
Starting point is 00:54:38 I was shocked that there was an insectos Indy involved because we were told that these were lizard-style indies doing the boarding. Yeah. There were lizos and insectos and some cool weapons. One of them shoots goo against a wall and then the goo has thorns or I don't know. I couldn't tell if they were an energy burst or a burst of thorns, but those knocked down a bunch of Makos.
Starting point is 00:55:07 When you see this weapon specifically deployed, you got to think that the Makos don't stand a chance, right? Yeah. This is just too good. The Zindi bust into the brig and they've got Regine. It looks like they use a hacked ThermoWorks thermometer that they place on the thing. Did you notice that?
Starting point is 00:55:29 This is not branded content, but I love myself a ThermoWorks thermometer. I have several products from the ThermoWorks company. I've spent hundreds of dollars on various ThermoWorks things over the years. I'm a total slut for that stuff. They're the best. Yeah, like there's this moment where they're like using Regine as a hostage as they move back
Starting point is 00:55:48 through the ship to get out. And Archer is like, oh, I can't shoot because Regine is in between me and the bad guy. Shut up, Archer. She's a bad guy too. I never got the feeling that he was unwilling to fire because she was around. I never ever thought that. Oh, he totally like has his gun and then like goes like, oh no, like she's right there.
Starting point is 00:56:08 That's so dumb. You gotta shoot the hostage. She's not a hostage, she's a bad guy. Babe, babe I love you. Don't go with them, what are you doing? Like the Zindi are the actual boyfriend in the cool car picking her up from the strip club. What chance does Archer have? He doesn't have Trans Am energy.
Starting point is 00:56:32 Oh, yeah. The NX01 is not a T-top. No. No, and this scene plays out over and over again. She's just out of reach from him. Doors are just closing between them. Yeah. You gotta shoot. But they get away with her and they disappear into invisibility. And this looked a lot like going into the cloaking field around that sphere. Sure did.
Starting point is 00:56:59 But it is described as a vortex and they can't track the Zindi after this. And they got like one of these guys. So they have a Zindi body on the slab in Sixth Bay and they're like, what can we find out from this guy? Like can you wake him up? Unfortunately he had like a cyanide capsule gland in his body that's described as having been surgically installed. We used to encounter this all the time on our Hitwar Movie podcast.
Starting point is 00:57:28 And I don't know if I ever said it on that show. I'm going to say it right here. I think I'd love one of these. I'd love to have one as an option. The false tooth that will take you out if you crunch on it the wrong way? Yeah, like someone shoves me off of a building. Ah! Bite, crunch. Yeah, at least it's on your own terms. This plane's going down. Oh, man, the masts have come down. Oh, there's smoke and there's fire.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Crunch. Yeah, and then you land in the Hudson, and everybody's like, we all made it. Hey, what happened to 16F? He doesn't look so good. Hey, hey 16F, time to go. Let's get out on the wing. This is the Romeo and Juliet style dramatic irony that would end an Adam Pranica.
Starting point is 00:58:19 I want to go out as a story. I think that would fit, yeah. Archer's like, okay, like we have actually had an interaction with Zindi at this point. And there is some intel to be gotten, you know, just by the fact that we have this body here and the fact that we like saw what their ships look like or whatever. So like, let's at least, you know, make some lemonade out of the lemons of this. And we cut back to the Zindi Legion of Doom, where Degra and the rest are pretty pissed off at what the Lizardmen and the Bugmen have polled here.
Starting point is 00:58:56 God, Degra's got to be so relieved to not be in the crosshairs of this roundtable meeting. He's like, see? Finally, it is not Degra's bad thing. Yeah. Hey, check it out. Not Degra's fault. Hashtag not Degra's fault.
Starting point is 00:59:11 Hashtag not all Degra's. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you guys fucked up, but not me, not Degra. No way. They bring in Rajin and they're like, you know Degra and the rest of you, you may be mad at us, but look at what Rajin got.
Starting point is 00:59:25 And she puts her hand on the table and we get like a hologram showing the internal organ structure of human anatomy. And we learned that now a bio weapon is possible to create. And the underwater guys are like, great, like, okay, let's do big planet killing sphere and bio weapon. Let's do both. You know? Por que no los dos? We'll have crunchy tacos and soft tacos tonight.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Degra's like, what? I mean, I thought it was all good with Degra now. What about Degra's plan? Is Degra's plan? Degra chop liver? Degra's good now, right? No? Oh, this is terrible, and Rajin here, to her credit, she's like, you know, actually, guys, humans are sort of complicated. And by the way, I've got stuff to tell you about them. But she's dragged away before she can finish. As though back to jail. Like she is entirely fucked herself by not working with the humans. Like the Zindi are treating her the way a slave
Starting point is 01:00:37 would be treated and not the way a free person would be treated. So maybe the Zindi are all bad. Unclear. Okay, you're gonna defend the Zindi are all bad. Unclear. Okay, you're going to defend the Zindi after this? Think I am. We're pursuing two species killing weapons at the same time, and Adam Pranik is like, hey, you know what? Some genocides are fine. Ben, you must remember they are doing this as a reaction, as revenge, as rewenge for their
Starting point is 01:01:06 own home world being destroyed. But it's like pre-revenge, right? It's like prophylactic revenge. Yeah. Pre-revenge is still genocide in this context, I guess. Did you like this episode, Ben? I can't pay. Good for late. Got no case. Tempting fate. I did like this episode, Ben? I did like this episode.
Starting point is 01:01:29 I think that Star Trek has explored the idea of Irresistible Babe many times, but this one felt different and better than your, you know, Famke Jansen episodes and your... I didn't think you were so into blondes, Ben. Go on. What was the lady from TOS that wanted to eat all the salt? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know? Because Regine, like, is much more than that would imply, you know? She's actually, like, working on her own capacity.
Starting point is 01:02:08 She seems more capable than Padma or Famke were in their characters on Star Trek. She's a spy. She's a sex slave and a spy. And that makes her interesting and dangerous in a very different way from the examples that we've seen before. Right, and it's like, I think it's interesting
Starting point is 01:02:31 that it's still a little unclear whether her cover is sex slave or if she actually like was that at some point, you know, like, and then then recruited by the Zindi. I think that the ambiguity of, did she have a real opportunity to free herself that she didn't recognize for what it was is kind of, part of what makes this episode so interesting to me. There's that moment in the cell where she tells Archer some version of,
Starting point is 01:03:07 yeah, you're a good man. You're just a dumb man. Like you did the right thing. Your, your instinct to save me from slavery was, was something that a good person does, even though I outsmarted you at every turn. Like you should at least know that as if that's a sort of gift that she's giving. That seems related to what she tries to do at the very end when she tries to warn the group
Starting point is 01:03:34 about how complicated humans are. Does that represent any sort of regret in your mind for what she's doing? Or is her warning about humans actually to help? Hey, hey, De Degra, you especially, like, watch out when you're building this bomb because humans are squirrely. I don't know what her point is there yet,
Starting point is 01:03:57 and maybe we'll learn. A pretty compelling episode. You want to see if there's anything compelling in the Priority One inbox? Oh, yeah. I would love that very much priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secure channel need a supplemental link up a little supplement up more yes extra by the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship Adam got some priority one messages here.
Starting point is 01:04:25 The first one is of a promotional nature. Goes like this. Frenzied-as-so-do. What our theory presupposes is, if you have one embarrassing interest, perhaps you have another. Perhaps science-themed board games like Wingspan or Terraforming Mars. Hosts Jason, Brian and expert guests sit down once a month to discuss the science behind
Starting point is 01:04:50 your favorite board games. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. So check out the Gaming with Science podcast at gamingwithscience.net or wherever fine podcasts are found. Have fun playing dice with the universe That's from the gaming with science podcast Do you really want to know what's going on in your board game the gaming with science podcast will teach you
Starting point is 01:05:15 Gaming with science net is where you go to get this podcast along with wherever most people get podcasts, which is everywhere I'm psyched about this. I love these nerdy board games. I love every time I get invited to play one with somebody that knows what they're doing. I never know what I'm doing when I sit down to one of these things, but I bet a good chunk of our audience will find this delightful
Starting point is 01:05:38 and of particular interest. Yeah, good luck getting the greatest gen bump. Bump, bump, bump. Gaming with Science podcast, go get it. Ben, we got a priority one message here from Jason. It is to rejoice in the defeat of that hard. Okay. I'm reading it verbatim, that's what it says.
Starting point is 01:05:58 To rejoice in the defeat of that hard. Here's that message. Four days before she who is my wife had Arderone, we found my kidney cancer. Her surgery was followed by mine. Hard times. And in parentheses Canadian, so not bankrupt. To rejoice in the defeat of hard times, I request a skit. Adam in the role of Kevin. Ben in the role of real doll Ben. Scenario. Kevin accidentally creates a real doll of Ben. Implication? Ben is canon? I'm in the real doll lab just having a drink talking to myself. I've made a million real dolls before. This is easy. Whoops.
Starting point is 01:06:48 I spilled some of my real doll ingredients in an ashtray. Did you say ashtray? Real doll Ben, what are you doing here? You know me. I walk into any room once. Who are you? You got a funny sibilance in your S's. Has anybody ever pointed that out to you? Why does it smell like latex? You are way too chatty. Into the fires I go. And then the sound of 200 pounds of latex and foam being melted.
Starting point is 01:07:34 And scene. Wow. Well, hey, let us all rejoice in the defeat of that hard. And I hope that cancer's in remission. And your Doron is doing great and she who is your wife is doing great. I hope that as well. And I hope if you have a priority one message,
Starting point is 01:07:54 you go to maximumfun.org slash jumbotron, write up some words, leave the rest to us and know that doing so goes a long way in supporting the production of these shows. Hey Adam. What's up Ben? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Incredible.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Drunk Shimoda. I can't decide whether Archer is just kind of a dupe and a mark or not. And it makes him kind of a good Shimoda for this purpose. Like he's projecting hardcore vibes, hardcore captain vibes, season three Archer vibes, as we've called them. And yet he was taken advantage of, his kindness twisted. She got the drop on him, no question about it.
Starting point is 01:08:41 He sure did. Yeah. I'm going to make Archer my drunk Shimoda. How about you? I think that the specific moment, which I clocked and maybe erroneously clocked since it didn't play the same way for you, but that moment where the Zindi are treating her as a hostage that they're using as a human shield. By the very name is racist.
Starting point is 01:09:04 And Archer hesitates to shoot. Like, you gotta be season three Archer about this, Archer. Yeah, that was season one and season two Archer creeping in. Yeah. So, uh, for that moment, Archer is also my drawing, Shiloka. Good call. Faith of the Fart. Well, Adam, let's talk about next week's episode
Starting point is 01:09:24 at season three, episode five. It's called Impulse. When Enterprise responds to a distress call from a Vulcan ship stranded in the Delphic expanse, Archer and his boarding team are attacked by insane zombie-like Vulcans. And you know, like, I think it's pretty toxic to use ableist terminology like insane, you know? Like they are going through something mental health-wise, but like, let's just admit that part of that is their presence here in the Delphic expanse.
Starting point is 01:09:57 It's not a permanent element of their personalities. They are not bad Vulcans just because they have this disease. It almost goes without saying. To see how we will be reviewing this episode, I'm going to go ahead and roll our 100-sided die on the game of buttholes, The Will of the Riker, Quantum Leap, which is at gach.biz slash game. We're on square 29 right now. Adam, let's see where this shuttle pod takes us. You're required to learn as you play. Roll.
Starting point is 01:10:34 I've rolled a 58. Chula! Did I win? Hardly. Jumping us way up to square 87, doorstep of a temporal cold war episode. Ooh, that would have been fun. Fuck that.
Starting point is 01:10:48 This is a regular episode for us. And that's what I'm looking forward to. Regular episodes are good. They're good now. We like them. We like them now. They don't suck actually. Also like what Windy Pretty does as the producer of our show
Starting point is 01:11:07 Making the show great and funnier even funnier than we could do on our own That's what her editorial choices do sure do we really appreciate all the folks who go to maximum fun org slash join and become members of this here production Means the world to us. Yeah, what's that mean? It means you support the show financially month to month. And that really matters.
Starting point is 01:11:31 Yeah. When doing this is your full-time job. And you get bonus content for your trouble. That's great. Go get yourself signed up. What do you do? Yeah. Maximumfund.org slash join.
Starting point is 01:11:42 We got to thank Rob Adler, our social media director. Follow the At Greatest Trek accounts and sign up for our mailing list. I think you can sign up at Podshop.biz. That's easy to find. Yeah, do it there. Get yourself some merch while you're there. We gotta thank Bill Tilley, our Zindi wartime consigliere, making hilarious trading cards, sharing those on the at greatest Trek accounts. Tasting our food before it's given to us.
Starting point is 01:12:08 Got to thank Adam Ragusea who made our original parody version of the theme song to Enterprise based on Diane Warren's original. The Goose, our co-host on the Wholesome Podcast, patreon.com slash wholesome underscore pod. Best in the biz. With that, we will be back at you next time in another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where Adam and Ben are in perfect mental health. So it makes the show so good. Yeah, people really love that about us.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Make it so, make it so. John Piccata, Piccata, Piccata. Maximum Fund. A worker owned network. Of artist owned shows. Supported directly by you.

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