The Greatest Generation - The Zahl Leads are for Eradicators (VOY S4E8)

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

When some Ring Pop enthusiasts start rewriting history, their device creates some serious turbulence for Voyager. But when the shockwave pushes the crew into a new reality, they'll risk everything to ...learn how the time weapon can be defended against. How many centuries would it be appropriate to put up with the job title “Lackey” before you ask for a promotion? Why don’t they use porcelain in starship construction? Why are they called the Zahl? It’s the episode where we’ve synchronized our sewer problems.Support the production of The Greatest Generation. Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is now regularly streaming on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,
Starting point is 00:00:35 they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,
Starting point is 00:01:01 and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate
Starting point is 00:01:25 in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic
Starting point is 00:01:55 and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoForLabor.com. That's FriendsOfDecotoForLabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Watch your back shot. Hello. I'm Captain Captain Bringing with the U.S.S. Boardman Captain Captain Captain Bringing with the U.S.S. border captain captain Bringing weather U.S.S. border U.S. captain
Starting point is 00:02:27 Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica. It seems like you're frustrated today Adam. I don't like seeing my friend feel bad feelings I'm having a day from hell man It's been really bad. I'm sorry dude. Your computer is really limping across the finish line. It's getting there's a replacement inbound but uh you have you've got the computer that just does random surprising shit. Yeah. It doesn't work in ways that are very hard to diagnose. It's totally unpredictable. I'll just reset it a bunch of times and things just spontaneously change. The last time I reset things spontaneously changed into the way that we needed them to, and now I can't touch anything.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Yeah, I feel like that's like a, you know, you're in a dungeon in Zelda and you're doing one of those Extremely complicated puzzles that you need to go all over the dungeon to solve and you can't like walk away from the console at that point You know like your wife may be calling you to come to dinner. You're like, no My wooden sword is feeble against all of these problems My wooden sword is feeble against all of these problems. I'm sorry bud. Oh Ben, maybe the worst part is that I broke my toilet. Oh no! I've been living in the office for the whole week and then I finally broke the toilet in there.
Starting point is 00:04:02 You had some plumbing challenges with that toilet if memory serves. Yeah, that plumber came by and fixed it. But I guess they didn't. Because I'm mad. I called up a different plumber who isn't gonna be here until Monday. When your first plumber sucks shit, it's a good idea to call another tradesman to come in and fix the damage.
Starting point is 00:04:23 My wife and I were visiting her aunt and uncle in Santa Barbara and they showed us like a wall outlet in their garage that a Electrician had come and installed and like not wired up like they asked for this outlet to be put in and he came and like made a big show of like having and he came and made a big show of having Romex and cutting out the dry wall and putting in the thing and then it just never, he left and they were at a town or something when it happened. They came back and kept trying to use it and never works. They called it different electrician who came
Starting point is 00:04:58 and he was like, yeah, this is just a wall box. There's nothing connecting this to anything. It just totally took you for a ride. Is that what happened with your plumber? And then stop picking up the phone. Yeah. I mean, not exactly, but kind of, I mean, it's not just a hole in the floor,
Starting point is 00:05:18 where my shit goes, I think it's going somewhere. It's going to a pipe. I think there's Ro-mex down there. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember eating all that Ro-mex, but I think it's going somewhere. It's going to a pipe. I think there's Romex down there. Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember eating all that Romex, but I think it's going somewhere. Hey, speaking of plumbing, I walked out of my house today. They're filling in the big hole that they dug to install my new sewer line.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I was shocked to see a cement mixer truck pouring tons and tons of cement into the street. They did not fill that hole back in with dirt, they filled it back in with cement. Wow. Doesn't that seem crazy? Like if we ever need to service the pipe, now it's encased in cement. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's going to be a problem. What were they thinking? I mean, it was like, it was too late for me to say anything
Starting point is 00:06:05 by the time I got out there. I came out as they were like finishing, they were like topping the whole off. Wow, yeah, you're gonna write your initials and that sewer pipe cement. Well, I mean, don't buy me BH. I think I might have to,
Starting point is 00:06:23 just so the city doesn't sue me when they trend, you know, like that's like the city lines and stuff that got encased. Standards have slipped, man, all across the board. Doesn't that seem like it would be more expensive than dirt also? Yeah, kind of does. Seems like you can get dirt just about anywhere, but concrete involves a mix and a special truck and so forth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:48 It boggled my mind. I mean, my inner eight-year-old was thrilled, but... Yeah. I mean, you get... You famously want things made out of a brittle material in Los Angeles. Right, right. Yeah. That's crucial.
Starting point is 00:07:03 It's the best way to build anything here. The first failure point of your home in any earthquake is gonna be the sewer pipe And that is not what you want sir. No, the first failure point in both of our homes for different reasons. Clearly. Yeah I'm sorry man. That's like we've synchronized our sewer problems. Right. Well, any two fellows that podcast together for long enough, eventually their sewers will synchronize. I know. I didn't expect it to happen after six years. Broken sewers right twice a day, huh? Yeah. Those two moments of the day when you aren't trying to poop, I guess. Yeah, very rare.
Starting point is 00:07:49 That's why I screen all my calls. Right. It's the real reason. Uh-huh. Well, do you want to get into this episode? Man, I want to cheer you up and nothing more reliably cheers both of us up than yelling at each other about Star Trek. Well, watching other people suffering is really gonna help, I think.
Starting point is 00:08:07 It's gonna make me feel a lot better as I watch Star Trek Voyager Season 4 Episode 8, Year of Hell. Part 1, Day 1! Cuckoo! Black coffee, black bacon, bacon, bacon yourself! We've got a cool, futuristic-looking city, and then some like shadows creep over it. Kind of a Independence Day shadows, right? Like this is kind of the visual language of that film,
Starting point is 00:08:36 because like for so long, like a half an hour, all you saw was the shadow. Yeah, yeah. Before the big reveal. That was good. That was a great part of that movie. Yeah. It went the big reveal. That was good. Yeah, that was a great part of that movie Yeah, it all it went downhill from there just as it goes downhill for Planet Sim City final level
Starting point is 00:08:55 As this giant ship Fires on it and there's no explosion bin not in the usual sense No, they don't seem to mount any kind of defense. Yeah, what are they doing? You got it. Like, if a ship that looks like this comes into your atmosphere, shoot something at it. It's ready to blow up your Empire State Building. You can just tell. We must launch. No, you're not gonna launch nuclear weapons. You're gonna kill them and us at the same time. This thing looks like it's kind of designed on the Ring Pop plan. It shoots this beam, it just makes the city vanish. Doesn't look like anyone's suffered.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Takes you back to like right at the beginning of Sim City. Yeah, I mean that's the level where you lay your sewer pipes up in. Yeah. I even played Sim City in forever. Is that what you do first? I seem to remember you want to build your pipes. I think that you can always like go into the underground mode and build more pipes, but it's nice to lay down a nice substrate. Yeah, to build your city atop. That way you're not creating problems down the road.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Yeah, so this city's gone and in its place, it's like a beautiful forest and a river. I think it's been greatly improved Yeah, it looks verdant lush. Yeah up on the ship We've got some some lackeys and we've got Kurtwood Smith from the continuum as our target event been achieved negative target of man Adam and he's like fuck God fucking damn it been achieved. Negative target of Man Adam and he's like, fuck! God, fucking dammit! Oh, we were working on this math for fucking months! I even typed in porn tips, Casardo! You worst game of simsidia my entire fucking life! I mean, the thing about that, Ben, is I know you love going explosive that way, but that's the thing about Kurt Wood Smith.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Kurt Wood Smith is a client's dorm. He really is. Which is why when he's given the report, the after mission report here, he's in a client rage. Yeah. Put it this way. When I go out on auditions, I never see Kurtwood Smith in the same waiting room as me. We give different energy as performers.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Everyone's wearing black gloves on this bridge. You can tell you're a genocidal space spiny act when you're on a ship with a bunch of guys wearing black gloves. I feel like even more than anything else, like there's that cartoon about like the Nazis wearing the Stormtrooper clothing and away the bodies. I feel like if you're wearing black gloves, irrespective of anything else you're wearing. Right. I feel like black gloves say bad things. It's not a promising look, you know? You know what? I kind of want to walk that back a little bit
Starting point is 00:11:45 because I feel like the the great barbecue that you and I have eaten in our lives have been prepared by cooks who use black gloves. That's the one exception. But they are committing like cow genocide. Maybe, maybe latex is off the board. Right. We're talking black leather gloves in the workplace. Yeah, and like the kingsters that are like playing evil in their black latex. Not the same thing. Not the same thing. So we'll give them a pass too. Yeah. I guess maybe more than black gloves, black leather gloves, it's the word of radication. If you're thrown around the word of radication in the office, that's maybe time to get on LinkedIn and put some feelers out about changing career paths.
Starting point is 00:12:29 There's a very upset barbecue chef who is like slowly erasing a menu item called the eradication sandwich wearing their black clothes. Single tier. Used to be a fan of the greatest generation. Yeah. Don't worry, we'll hear from them. Anybody that stops being a fan of us likes to tell us.
Starting point is 00:12:54 They're trying to do something to the continuum. These are concepts we aren't super clear about at the moment, but whatever it is they did didn't work. And the lackey in the back key is upset, but Kurt Woodsmith, he's thinking big picture. Yeah. He's gonna make it so that the Zal never happened. He just converts all that disappointment
Starting point is 00:13:16 into more resolve. That's what you do. And maybe that's a lesson for all of us. When your toilet breaks or your sewer pipes wrapped in concrete, you just need to think bigger. Right. Eradicate something bigger to make yourself feel better. When you turn on your computer and your co-host's voice is coming out, the speakers instead of the headphones.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Even though the headphones are plugged into the computer. Even though the fan is inexplicably worrying as loud as you've ever heard it. Just keep eradicating. A always B B. K keep. E eradicating. A B K E. Stupidest acronym in the whole world.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Where the Zoll leads Ben. the Zoll Leads, Ben? The Zoll Leads are for the radicators, Adam. It's not going to get any better than that, Ben. After the theme, we get like a really nice long zoom out of a galaxy. We reveal that we are in the brand spank-a-new, shiny astro-metrics lab, this thing that Harry and Seven have been working on for a few episodes now. Boy, this thing is sleek and cool looking. It is always exciting when you unveil a new technology.
Starting point is 00:14:41 I'm Mac, I book, I pod. And this day is very special for everyone involved. This new technology in these ships, salon, combines, borgs and starfleet systems into something better, allowing them to create more lift and bounce in Janeway's hair than ever before, with a shine that'll really turn some heads. It works. I mean, there's lots of new technology abounding. Uh-huh. This thing is going to, is going to shave five years off their trip. They've got ten times more accuracy in their mapping capability, and they've already put it to work.
Starting point is 00:15:17 They've plotted a new course. It's going to be great. Nothing wrong with this. This is a big, showy scene for just covering up the mistake of not having checked the avoid freeways and toll roads box on an navigation screen. Like yikes. Gotta make sure your settings are correct. My wife is a big fan of turning the avoid freeways toggle on in our car and then forgetting to turn it off whenever she's done doing whatever she's doing. Why do we do this, man?
Starting point is 00:15:55 Just sabotaged at every turn. She just leaves her wooden shoes right up on the dash for you. Right there. Hence the word, sabotage. And somehow I don't notice it when I get in and I'm like, God damn it, it's gonna take an hour to get there. Why? Well, I gotta follow the line. The line's there for.
Starting point is 00:16:17 The computer knows something I don't, you know? Yeah, that's not what's happening. Anyways, little smattering of applause for Seven and Kim. These two, I mean, what a pair, right? Yeah. Hell of a team. The new course is gonna fly them through the Zal system. And that doesn't sound like a problem.
Starting point is 00:16:35 What is a problem is the doctor's sense of importance. Ha ha ha ha. Read the room, you image. Here's the thing, like, I think a lot of people are obligated toward creating a wedding party of their best friends and their closest family members. Right. But I think it's okay. If you know one of them is the blowhardt,
Starting point is 00:16:54 you gotta put some rules in place that are like, hey, only best people can do the speeches, like two speech maximum. Right. You know? You think this is why Bill decided to have his wedding right when my wife and I are having our baby? He sees a blow hard coming.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Hahaha. Bill's a smart man. He's not gonna ruin his wedding. Yeah. By having it at a time I could go. Bill having his wedding in a city that is no less than two connections away from LAX. Hahaha.
Starting point is 00:17:27 It's like he's doing this at you, Ben. Really thinking. Yeah, so the Zahal are chill people. They're nice guys. Very human-like, technologically advanced, but non-confrontational. Oh, yeah. So everyone's expecting a smooth ass trip through their area of space. Yeah. So they head up to the bridge.
Starting point is 00:17:44 This cuts off the doctor's speech, and they're getting fired at by this real dick hole of a captain. This region is in dispute. You have no business in Crenum's space. I think that whoever directed this episode basically told this actor, it is impossible to get too big with how you play this.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Uh-huh. The Zal have no legitimate claim here. They have taken what is ours. So silly. And he's like the Chihuahua barking at a mastiff because the ship is little. It has bad weapons that don't work on the Voyager. And Janeway really just brushes him off. Reaver course. Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo tubes, I'm not turning around. I think Janeway is a captain who meets an opposition with equal and opposing force a lot of times. If this Crenham dude were even a little bit more chill, I think Janeway wouldn't be so interested in
Starting point is 00:18:41 smashing him in the dick, but she really big dogs the hell out of him. Yeah. And like in front of everyone on the bridge too, she makes a big show of it. It's a great moment for Janeway. They decide, well, I mean since these guys can't really bother us, we'll just keep going. And a few days later they're actually meeting some Zal people and as promised these dudes are chill as hell this lead doll has got real Bobby kind of al vibes right? I got money you got booze what could be simpler than that? He does kind of. Hey Bobby kind of L. Why the long face? I'll shit you out like yesterday's sausage you bug-tronk
Starting point is 00:19:21 Like the way they shoot him, he really fills the frame. They're like, so there was this guy shooting at us a few days ago, a Crenum. What's the deal with those guys? Like they seem like real dicks and he's like, oh, yeah, you're not wrong. They suck. They used to conquer us left and right,
Starting point is 00:19:38 but you know, we pushed him back. He does everything besides describe them as a nuisance species. Yeah, yeah. They're kind of alien trash of the galaxy types. And we kicked their asses. We took back all our planets, and now we're in charge around here, but they still kind of wander around making a pest of themselves.
Starting point is 00:19:59 And it's a shame, but they're bark obviously worse than they're bite. So it's a sort of species. You just kind of wrap in concrete and bury in the street. Never to cause a problem again. Yeah. Do you think that's what happened? They roll a body into that pit before I came out there. Is that why they poured concrete in there? I mean, it's the best way to hide a thing.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Yeah. Don't be just gonna dig up that concrete? No. Fuck. You'll be long gone by the time they do that. What did the street directly in front of my house? It's a murder scene. Doesn't sound like your problem, man.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Yeah, I guess not. I mean, that's city property out there. Yeah, yeah, I mean, if the inspector signs off on it, what else can you say? You're only responsible for the bodies on this side of the property line. And I have taken responsibility for those bodies. Yeah. The meeting they're having is interrupted by another crenum vessel and their conversation with it is interrupted by a big spatial distortion. It's coming from a clinging on moon called praxis.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Oh. God. Yeah, this is a very familiar looking wave, huh? It really is. You know, steering her into the wave does no good when that wave is a time wave. It doesn't. Yeah. So this shock wave comes from the Zoll home world, and as it passes, the Zoll ships disappear,
Starting point is 00:21:31 the Zoll guide disappears, and the Crenum vessel gets like twice as big. It's a bigger and scarier ship, and when it starts shooting at them, it actually does some real damage. Yeah, I mean, that's because the conditions on the Voyager have done changed. It's kind of a yesterday's enterprise effect. Yeah, except for Janeway's hair is identical. It would have been great if they turned Janeway's hair
Starting point is 00:22:00 into Tasha Yar hair from yesterday's enterprise. Yeah, just totally slipped back. Yeah. A lot of changes, Lieutenant. A lot of changes. That have been good. The Voyager is messed up. There's debris everywhere.
Starting point is 00:22:14 One thing about this change is that no one's aware of it. There's no Geinen on Voyager. We're meant to know each other at all. This completely wipes their minds and this is day four of being hounded by the Crenum. They're like begging this guy to stop bothering them instead of big-dawging him. Ladies and gentlemen, Peter Slutsker. He's back.
Starting point is 00:22:39 I feel like he's one of our faves. He's like one of the old school character actors on the show. He normally plays Farengy. Wow, man. It's multiple Farengy, Farengy, like F-E-R-I-N-G-A-E. Farengy? Yeah. Yeah, maybe it's Farengy. It's Um, yeah. Maybe it's, it's, maybe it's
Starting point is 00:23:06 Ferengos. It's like the opposite. I like that one better. Yeah. This Crenum Commodont is not taking any shit. He seems extremely hard to work with. Yeah. He wants to seize their vessel and he's like, yeah, if you don't surrender now, I will kill everybody in the process of seizing it. But if you do surrender, I'm gonna execute you. like, yeah, if you don't surrender now, I will kill everybody in the process of seizing it. But if you do surrender, I won't execute you. So that's a pretty nice option. Yeah, Janeway isn't down for any of this. She chooses battle.
Starting point is 00:23:34 She wakes up in a new reality and chooses violence. Yeah. And she describes this as the weak from hell. I mean, she doesn't even get into what happened with her plumbing. Yeah, I mean, she doesn't even get into what happened with her plumbing. Yeah, I mean, her toilets probably find at this point. Check back with her in day 32. Need some toilet passage of time. Tewac is describing why these weapons go right through their shields, and it's
Starting point is 00:23:59 because they're in a state of temporal flux, and they're talking about really serious damage that's taking place all over the Voyager. It doesn't matter what kind of torpedo it is, if it goes right through your shields, it's gonna do some damage, and they don't really have a defense for this. It's like, every time they shoot one of us,
Starting point is 00:24:17 scan it real good, is basically their only strategy right now. Yeah, and run away is what they decide to do at this moment in time. We cut back over to the Crenum Super Ship. It's a juicetual flavor, ooh, rainbow. We're Kurtwood Smith-Lives and his background bootlicker reports that destroying the Zal Homeworld
Starting point is 00:24:41 did the job that they were going for completely. Like complete temporal restoration was the goal and it looks like they did it. Yeah, I mean complete in this guy's view is 98% and that does not suffice for Kurtwood Smith who is uh he's got a lock of hair in like a lexan box. Are you familiar with horseshoes or hand grenades? Lexan box. Are you familiar with horseshoes or hand grenades? Obrist. This Lexan box that he's holding has a lock of hair in it that it feels very like Mr. Freeze. Soon, we will be together once more. His motivation is based entirely
Starting point is 00:25:21 around restoring some lady. And if there's a lock of hair in Lexan then presumably whatever they did didn't work for that. We don't know that yet. It could be a beloved pet. I am glad that you'd called attention to it being hair because I feel like the contrast in this episode was such that I really couldn't make out what it was. Oh yeah, maybe I'm wrong, but it looked like a little lock. We're a piece, some people call it a piece of hair. Yeah. I call them locks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I'm like, hey, you're my whole pig, doubting, doubting. Maybe it's a lock of his own hair. And his entire mission is to restore the hairline timeline. I'd love to see that late night television commercial. Hi, I'm Kurt Woodsmith for the Crenum Imperium. Look at my full lustrous locks. At the Crenum Imperium, we can restore any head to having a full head of hair.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Anorax wigs won't come off, even underwater. I'm not just the president, I'm also a client. Very personal mission for Anorax. There's a shot of Kurt Woodsmith coming up out of a pool and shaking his hair dry. Yeah. Kurt Woodsmith. God, just one of the great faces of all time.
Starting point is 00:26:41 Really does have good face. And more of it. He's got a big face. I got this big old face. He's very curious about one particular colony of the crenom and this guy's like yeah, no like nothing that far out got restored. We're talking about like the main bulk of the quantum of the period that got restored. And he is pretty pissed off at that. And he's like scolding his little, his little lackey for being too too dimensional in his thinking. And he says something about as long as we stay on this vessel, we have all eternity to accomplish our mission. And I just watched that wash over the lackeys face and decode it for you're not getting a vacation until the job is done.
Starting point is 00:27:34 That sucks. He made a pretty strong point. A perfect timeline is the enemy of a good timeline. That doesn't really seem to move. Kurt would smith at all. No, that's why Kurt would smith is boss and he's just a lackey. Yeah, yeah. I got to get that.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Not now, put your mind number your mouth. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre- and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it!
Starting point is 00:28:17 The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
Starting point is 00:28:40 We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Noswald, could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Be dumb instead. Whoa, rats, hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this arc. We've got to get on the arc.
Starting point is 00:29:25 It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal,
Starting point is 00:29:40 stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came to by two. What do you think? Ona Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. I'm not a ticket, but not an ex-just truck.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Day 32, Adam. Yeah. Now the plumbing is really fucked up. Yeah. We get a nice, long tracking shot, past some toilets, put out into the hallway. Everyone of them busted. It's really the classic flammers lament.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Yeah, it looks like the street I used to live on in there. You got to believe that porcelain's the thing of the past in the 24th century, right? No one's putting a porcelain toilet onto a starship. I mean, you see a little later, a little porcelain teacup break. It's too fragile for bangers. You know, interesting that they get hit with that shock wave. And then the teacup breaks like totally later in an unrelated incident, which that's not how praxis explosions work in my experience. I know.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Are you kidding? Voyager is looking haggard, and like every exterior shot that we see of the ship illustrates this passage of time in a really shocking way. It's fucked up. We never saw the D this fucked up. Like we only saw the D explode. Right, the D was never be dragiled. We lack the technology to bedrackle.
Starting point is 00:31:06 I mean, they had the technology, they just didn't have the money. Yeah. They could have made a bedrackled D model. You think so? I would have loved to see that. When the big exhibit came to the Skirmall Center here, yeah, they had the D shooting model,
Starting point is 00:31:20 but they didn't have a bedrackled D. When your D's bedrackles, you'd really need to start taking it easy. Yeah. Yeah. Strap it up of your D's but dragiled, you know? Even the good news has bad news in it in this scene because they're like, cool, the Crenum ships vulnerable,
Starting point is 00:31:36 but what are we gonna do in terms of firepower? Like torpedo launchers aren't working, phasers aren't working. The plan they come up with is kind of gravity dropping the torpedoes onto this crenium ship like a bunch of pellet ships been. And it works. A type of ship that you hate to take,
Starting point is 00:31:54 but that's all the Voyager has right now. I feel like that's what destroyed my guest room toilet. You dropped pellet on it. Did you come over and use it when I wasn't paying attention? I'm sleeping in here. How would that be possible? I can safely say I've never pooped in your house, Adam. I'm shocked by that.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I have too. I poop everywhere. You do. You're very comfortable. I'm under free. I'm under free of pooping. This is all happening while the doctor is being forced to evacuate six bay because there's some kind of energy surge there and they can't spare the engineering man power to go fix it. So down on deck five, he is
Starting point is 00:32:39 shepherding people through the ship trying to get them out of deck five because deck five is soon to become uninhabitable and this is only exacerbated by the explosion of the Crenum ship which drops a massive banger on Voyager and now he's only got 30 seconds to get his people to safety. It's a pretty rough ride at this point. Yeah. We get that moment that we often appreciate in a submarine movie where you're fleeing to escape a compartment that's about to be submerged or in this case explode out into space. Now Sheila got damn baby before we all go down. How pissed would you be to watch a invulnerable hologram Steve Zanya though? That's what's so fucked up about this is like, I feel like the dot could have helped these guys and then Theron his hologram transponder into the door.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Oh yeah. In such a way that would have saved his own life and the two guys. Yeah, can he take that thing off and throw it? Or does the act of taking it off make him disappear? I think that one, but maybe one of the two people could rip it off of his shoulder in order to save his life. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Unclear, but yeah, he has to seal the bulkhead. So they get exploded. Deck five, we see from the exterior as deck five just like goes all the way to hell. And the captain marches off the bridge and disgust. Coffee alone isn't going to hold this ship together. The effects on this show, I think, have really come a long way.
Starting point is 00:34:14 I think this shot in particular was really cool to see the destruction kind of racing in a linear way through this single deck. It really helps you understand. It's one thing to hear a bridge crewman call out a deck and an area that's being damaged, but then when you cut to the exterior and see exactly where it is and what's happening to it, I don't think we see enough of that. I heard the same thing. It's really cool looking and it's like ejecting the warp core. We've
Starting point is 00:34:43 heard this mentioned so many times on Star Trek and this is the first time we're actually seeing what it looks like for an entire deck to get taken out. Yeah. Back on the bridge, Janeway's banger hair is just especially fluffy at this point. And the entire bridge looks like one of those abandoned shopping malls you see sometimes in a block that's being explored by some neighborhood kids like shit is down all over the place. Khan would be right at home lying around in here.
Starting point is 00:35:13 This used to be a seers. I shall avenge you. Jane was like, all right, well now that that's done I'm going to go take a break. Yeah. I guess you'll put my feet up. If I can just clear off some of this debris in my ready room, I'll have some place to put them along with my teacup. She has a little T set. She has a lucky teacup. And while she's setting this up, she coattails like so. How about we just ditch the ship. We split up. We go our separate ways, maybe a lot of small targets will be confusing to the crenom, and we can meet up when we get to the other side of their space. Captain,
Starting point is 00:35:51 there's a story that a tribal elder used to tell me about when my people were having a house party and the cops showed up. The best way to flee was to kind of scatter in all directions. That way, they couldn't get all of you. Janeway does not like this idea, and she can't do it. No. It's like, oh god, thank god. I hate that I get to do it. She can't do it.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Why didn't you even say it, Chico-te? I like the idea of him just being like, well, I guess my job is to like offer. This is the problem with working with clients. Like you never offer a client the choice that you personally hate because they always choose it. Sounds great. Well, but Chico-te doesn't work with clients.
Starting point is 00:36:40 He's in an organization, you know? It's true. But I suppose the same goes for like your boss, right? You don't offer your boss the project that you don't want to do. Yeah, I think now is a good time to point out that Janeway isn't the only one with passage of time here.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Chicoote also has it. Yeah. The render under Chicoote, all that is Chicoote and his Caesar haircut at this point. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, Chicoote is like combination of Caesar haircut and increasing mustache stubble in this is amazing. His stubble looks awesome. I don't know why he doesn't rock it from this point forward. He looks so good. I'm so
Starting point is 00:37:19 fucking jealous of this stubble. Do you think the Riker character kind of took Beards off the table on Star Trek for a long time because of the unfortunate comparison? Right, especially if you're a first officer, you can't be a bearded first officer and not get compared to Riker. It's too bad if he has Robert Beltrein really really has a good in the facial hair department. It does. Meanwhile, in a turbo lift, Kim and Polana are stuck, and they're doing trivia hangouts while they wait to get rescued. I thought this was a really nicely written scene because you don't realize how badly injured Polana is until they've done a few trivia questions. This was another scene where my contrast was all fucked up.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Could you tell what was happening right away? Maybe I need to turn up the brightness on things. Yeah, maybe so. There's like an exterior shot of the top of the elevator, which was the only thing that placed me in space. I would have thought that the ship would have subscribed to the don't use an elevator in a fire type of theory that large buildings have. Doesn't it have any of those angled, Jeffrey Subes like entrepreneur does in strange new worlds?
Starting point is 00:38:33 We gotta give that thing a name. We really do. Maybe it will have a name on the greatest discovery by the time this episode airs. God, I hope so. If it does, whoever edits this episode, just drop that in drop it in right here. I really love out seven of nine rescues them with a crowbar and then her bare hands. And she has the answer to the trivia question that BLT didn't. Yeah, I did too. Did you have it?
Starting point is 00:39:01 Yeah, I couldn't believe BLT didn't know the Phoenix. I did too, did you have it? Yeah. I couldn't believe BLT didn't know the Phoenix. It's funny that BLT doesn't want to do movie trivia anymore and then the follow up question is in its own way movie trivia. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Nice little writing joke there, I guess.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah, so she's real fucked up. Up on the bridge, Paris and Chicoetay are introducing the captain to a new idea for making like bulkheads that close all over the ship to stop air from rushing out. Oh yeah, these transverse bulkheads. It seems like they should have been part of the design of the ship from the beginning, but they're just doing it now. It sure seems that way. I wonder if there is something like that, but it's just used in a different way or called
Starting point is 00:39:47 by a different name. It's inspired by the Titanic, which is ironic, but I addressed that as a scene. Harris was inspired to come up with this invention after drawing BLT, like one of his French girls. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Captain, I want my heart to go on. Yeah. Right after that,
Starting point is 00:40:09 Seven of Nine is crawling around in some Jeffries tubes when she finds an un-exploded cronoton torpedo. If that thing explodes the entire ship, we'll be destroyed. Yeah, this thing is a real throb. I feel like they addressed this
Starting point is 00:40:22 in that Cass episode where she was traveling backwards through time, right? The unexploded torpedo. But they got all their memories erased when the wave hit them. That's right. So that's why they don't know to look for it. So none of that knowledge is gonna help here.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Yeah, and Cass is no longer here. Is it the same prop? Use the same way? I don't know. Yeah, I wonder what the history of this was, whether they knew that they were going to write a year of Hell arc at some point, or if they took inspiration from that episode when they got to the writers room for season four, and they're like, Hey, this would be kind of fun. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Wait, we'd have to do research to fully grasp this. Seven is like ready to dig in them torpedo guts, but two of our tales are to leave it because he's on the way. Speaking of digging in them guts, Paris is stopping all of the internal bleeding on BLT as he helps the EMH do triage. It looks like they've maybe moved the hospital to Neelix's restaurant, which doesn't seem to be functioning these days. Right.
Starting point is 00:41:30 The EMH is really touchy about the way Paris is administering medical care. Emotional detachment is essential. Otherwise, you risk impairing your judgment. Am I making any sense here? Once the doc starts to tell his story, everyone around kind of rolls their eyes like, God, another doctor's speech. Someone please save me from this.
Starting point is 00:41:54 What Parris gets out of him is that he's sad from having had to steve on those crew members a couple of weeks ago. It's actually him that's emotionally attached. He's feeling more feelings about these two crew people than the daughter he killed in the holodeck. Not that long ago. I always wonder what's going, when the word gets up to the bridge when those two crew members die, Jade weighs not like which two. I feel like she knows everybody's name on the ship, right? There's only 150 people. word gets up to the bridge when those two crew members die. Jade Ways not like which to. I feel like she knows everybody's name on the ship, right?
Starting point is 00:42:27 There's like only 150 people. There are that many people on the ship. I think that's exactly right. Two crew members were killed in the breach. Two expendable crew members? Oh good. Hmm. Two out of seven of nine are back inspecting this torpedo
Starting point is 00:42:43 and figure out that if they do nothing it's going to explode in two minutes. And 7 of 9 is pretty adamant about scanning it with what little time that they have, but 2v3 orders her away and gets in between her and the torpedo when it finally goes off. It kind of looks like that's just going to take them out. Two crew members were killed in the breach. It sure looks like a fatal amount of fire that heads their way. But I mean, seven does get a bit of information here. Yeah, so the next scene is day 65 and it's a little bit ambiguous at first because the captain's log says like nobody died today in the attack, but that wasn't the thing we just saw blow up.
Starting point is 00:43:27 That was like days and days ago. Right. So we don't know for quite a while whether two Valkin seven survived. That was almost 20 days ago. Yeah. What do you make of the vanity of keeping the captain's log system functional while all other systems on the ship could probably really use that power? Ha, ha, ha, just writing it out longhand in a notebook at this point.
Starting point is 00:43:52 I don't know, Cap. You make some pretty tough sacrifices later. I think it's time to go ahead and switch off the captain's lock system. Yeah, because because half the ship is uninhabitable. They're on emergency rations. People are sleeping on top of each other and just totally rung out. Everybody just looks like absolute hell. Yeah, morale's pretty rough. Where's the chief morale officer? He's given out emergency rations to people.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Yeah. Also, it's Captain Janeway's birthday. Dakota remembers. He remembers Captain Janeway's birthday. Chico day remembers. He remembers when Janeway doesn't. He gives her a watch. A watch he may or may not have been keeping in his ass the whole time. Yeah, I mean, where else would you keep an uncomfortable chunk of metal like that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:37 There's damn dirty crenum. Keep them mits off of it. I was with your father and a bunch of Zon and a crenom concentration camp. You don't do your walking enough man, it's good. You got a good walking. It's not good. I'm embarrassed by how bad my walkin is. And now, because it's your birthday, I'm gonna give it to you.
Starting point is 00:45:05 It was all, not the Zon. Janeway wants none of it. She's like, you know what this watch represents? Another five minute captain's like it could've recorded. Get it out of here. I could've gone into the holiday I can use to one of the Maestro's jack-off machines for a long time. It's subtle.
Starting point is 00:45:26 With a watch and a chain that long, the best I can do is tie it around my neck while I diddle. Yeah. Chicoote seems really hurt by this. I mean, he's like trying to make excuses. He's like, I replicated this way before the year of hell started. Yeah. And she's like, year of hell, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:45:46 We're only like three months into this. What are you talking about? Is that where you expect this to go? That's so pessimistic, Jicote. Go fucking throw this watch in the replicator. Leave me alone. Elsewhere, it's the single brass instrument of straight blade shaving. And two bucks, quarters, when he gets a beep at the door.
Starting point is 00:46:06 You're gonna cut yourself if you try and shave without soap. Yeah. Soap is a crucial part of this equation. You need a lubricated face for this one. He's just like dipping a scary ass knife into water. He has a sink full of more lubricant than his on his face. Like water would really help here. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:26 He's finishing up his shave. It becomes clear that he is blind. He doesn't mind that the mirrors all smashed up. I mean, it's an interesting reveal, right? Because Seven of Nine shows up in his quarters because it's time to work. And you think it's a conversation between two people about ready to clock it in.
Starting point is 00:46:43 But it's clear by the end that Seven is kind of a nurse and a guide for him. Another scene that sort of reveals the damage that's been done in a kind of interesting way, a lot like the scene between BLT and Kim earlier. You think two back would be pissed if you were able to see how unburned Seven of Nine is? Like Seven of Nine looks great.
Starting point is 00:47:04 She's like the only person on the ship that doesn't have like dirt and crap all over her face. Yeah, she's like, her hair looks perfect. Perfectly lit. She's like walking in a spotlight at all times. Yeah, it does seem really unfair. You know what?
Starting point is 00:47:19 Something shitty has happened to Seven of Nine. She's living with Ensign Brooks, who is a total pig. They're talking about how hard this has been for her. Seven's like, Once shitty has happened to Seven of Dines, she's living with Ensign Brooks who is a total pig. They're talking about how hard this has been for her. Seven's like, God, I wish I was blind sometimes. Living with Ensign Brooks. Leaving all her shit everywhere. You know, she'll come out of the bathroom without makeup on.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Woof. Woof. Neelix is right on cue here showing up wearing a uniform and he updates two valkons and really minor bullshit. We're just about done rebuilding the internal security sensors and we're ready to program the audio signals. This does not seem to rise to the level of a chat. He's finally gotten his wish of being on the security team and he's making it a
Starting point is 00:48:00 fucking passive himself because of it. Seven is talking about this shielding thing that she's been working on, that based on the data that they got from that unexploded warhead, she's cracked the code, so they're going to go down to the deflector array to do some more work on it, but they get split up because another attack commences and two vox got to rush his way up to the bridge, so just seven goes down to deflector control. How does he get there? Because two VAC depends on seven to walk him around the corridor.
Starting point is 00:48:30 And then we see two VAC arrive on the bridge alone. Well, he's like feeling his way along the wall the whole time. I feel. Yeah, but like on an undamaged ship, I think that's possible, but there are girders everywhere. Yeah, his hands must be shredded from just like touching. Yeah. like on an undamaged ship I think that's possible but there are girders everywhere. His hands must be shredded from just like touching raw twisted metal that's like jutting out of bulkheads everywhere. He also has like tactile controls for all the weapons and stuff. Yeah that's pretty cool. How does he aim? I wanted to see that man.
Starting point is 00:49:01 This is like Jean Roddenberry's joke about the blind man as the Helmestman in season one TNG, like two acts the blind weapons officer. He's the blindfolded shooter. Who made that man a gunner? I mean, they don't have much to shoot. So, that like he actually is like trying to bullseye these guys. It's really more about shields than it is about weapons at this point, right? Yeah, seven men is just to get the shields up and the first Crenum shot misses, but the second hits them and the shields hold. How about that? This one moment of success is sufficient for Janeway to be filled with confidence.
Starting point is 00:49:43 So she hails the Cren credit ship to announce that we figured out your entire deal. So you might as well just leave us alone now. Yeah. And that's basically what happens. They don't respond and Voyager continues on their previous course. Cool. When they don't respond, Janeway makes one of the great facial expressions in Janeway history. Yeah. They head out and as they're flying away, another shockwave comes in. And to them, this is the first shockwave, but we know it's not. Right.
Starting point is 00:50:20 The crystal ship with Kurtwood Smith on it. Oh, great fun. Has shot this planet Garenor's planet was dirty as hell when when it gets hit with this ray It goes from being brown to being green and blue Garenor were not good stewards of their planet much like humans in the 21st century Now this is time genocide been yeah, cuz it basically wipes all garen or everywhere. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Up for the map. Oh you think you're good at genocide? You're doing genocide that relies on ships not having time shields. That's laughable to me. Back when I was doing genocide I did it the old fashioned way. One who'suck at a time. I mean I snapped my fingers, but you know if you could subdivide time at a high enough resolution You'd see that it really was one who snuck at a time. I did genocide working uphill in both directions You'd never understand the struggle
Starting point is 00:51:23 It was a beautiful, poppy-colored hillside in Malibu that plunges down into the majestic Pacific Ocean. But it was still, I mean, it was a North Deal, because you know, walking uphill, very tiring, especially for a man of my advanced age. I really tend to find a favorite song and play it once, and play that song over and over and over again, and lately it'sang over and over and over again. And lately it's been that don't impress me much. And that is really the cranium theme shang if you wish me.
Starting point is 00:51:54 I wonder if I could get a clockmaker to make me a music back. This is the scene where Chico Te is rocking that stubble. Yeah. And just kind of want to live in this scene forever. Yeah, so handsome. Yeah, really doing great. And a three-instrument about the English timesher cat. Chico Te-Tex.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Chico Te-Tex. Chico Te-Tex. Chico Te-Tex. Chico Te-Tex. Chico Te-Tex. Kurtwood Smith has given the word that this did not have the result that he was looking for because the credit ship outside Voyager is now back to the Pipsqueak ship with weapons that won't hurt. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:34 But it seems like their time shields have protected them from this wave. And I was wondering like if they hadn't had those shields up, would the Voyager have been fixed? Like would the Voyager have gone back to good? Yeah,, would the Voyager have been fixed? Like, would the Voyager have gone back to good? Yeah, or would the Voyager have dissolved? Yeah. Like those ships from the beginning. I don't know. Like, the Zoll ships.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Is that why they were called Zoll? Because they dissolved? Yeah, I think so. I think we can be sure about that. I think we should de-cran themum because they seem like real assholes. Who's having the worst year? Kurtwood Smith or Captain Janeway, because this did not go as expected for him. The entire crenum and purium has been reverted back to a pre-warp state.
Starting point is 00:53:21 They were at 98%. Now they're at 0%. If you're overest right now, you just have to be seething. It sucks and it seems that Voyager is what fucked up the calculations. That time shield that they figured out totally threw off everything that Tritwood Smith was working toward. So they go ahead and set a course to intercept Voyager. It's going to be a couple of days because of how far away they are, but they're pissed.
Starting point is 00:53:46 And in the astro-metrics lab, this day 70, I believe, Janeway and 7 of 9 start to work out the collapse of the Imperium because they have a record of the size of the Imperium from before, and they can like compare the before and after the shockwave. These colors appear to have changed size. Is that giving us the information that we need here? It would appear that when it comes to the crenum flag, those colors do run. The main unanswered question here is what is the deal with that shock wave? And Janeway starts to work it out.
Starting point is 00:54:23 It's like they're rewriting time. Yeah. And when you take the garriners off the map, it changes the size of the chrenum space. It also moves the nexus ribbon a little bit. There are consequences. It's a bad look. Cossality paradox is the thing that Janeway thinks
Starting point is 00:54:43 is at play here. I love it when people in time travel stories talk about how annoying time travel stories are. We start talking about it, and we're gonna be here all day talking about it making diagrams with straws. Yeah, it's that false modesty of like, I'm not usually good at this.
Starting point is 00:54:58 I could be totally wrong about this. I've always kind of gotten the vague sense from my start track watching over the years that Brandon Braga had a lot to do with introducing lots and lots of the time travel stories to the franchise. And I think he was one of the credited writers on this episode. And I kind of feel like Janeway is like my proxy in his episode when Yeah. When she says this stuff. They don't get a lot of time to think about this because the Crenum time-weapon ship rolls up on them. Yeah. And that shot like looking straight
Starting point is 00:55:33 down on the like totally fucked up Voyager. Yeah. And then they the way bigger Crenum ship obscuring it. Very cool. I mean, you almost get a Independence Day style shadowing a voyager here. Yeah, I wonder if they thought about just using a saucer-shaped ship for the, for the Crenum time ship. Yeah, why not? I'd be four was a huge movie. Yeah, it was a big deal. She's a beauty, ain't she? Kurt would Smith wants some information. So he wants a 10 meter by 10 meter chunk of hull and a couple of members of the crew.
Starting point is 00:56:12 And his ship is advanced enough that that's like a snap your fingers and it's done kind of deal. Yeah, it's easy as hell. Chicoote and periscot abducted right off the bridge. Not Chicoote. Not with that beautiful mustache. Ah, and they just start shaving him immediately.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Yeah, they disappear from the bridge and then it goes down to two-vox quarter and you see his razor beam away. No! Kerwood Smith has that calm affect of someone who knows he has the upper hand here and states pretty flatly, look, it's not you, it's us, the keranum. And we know this isn't your fault. You're giving me the, it's not you, it's me, routine.
Starting point is 00:57:00 But we got to take you off the board here. It breaks my heart to do it, but I got to do it. There's this lock of hair. It's a whole thing. I mean, if there's gonna be a choice between you and me, I'm choosing me, obviously. You gotta do it. He chooses himself.
Starting point is 00:57:16 And they light up their beam weapon and start hitting the voyage or with it. And their shields are holding initially, but they're like, this is going to push us out of space some time. And that's not good. That's not where we want to go. That's probably where like those species 42069 guys live. I mean, it's weird, right? The way this is described makes it seem as though it is not death that is imminent, like pushing them out of space and time could mean a lot of things. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't seem good. No.
Starting point is 00:57:48 No, but I mean, for a moment, I was like, they're gonna get put into the place where everything else has been put as if like the weapon is moving them out of time and then gathering them in some different space and time altogether. Yeah, in like purgatory somewhere. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:05 They realize though that the time-weapon ship is so fucking big that it maxes out at warp six. So if they make a run for it, Kurt Wood Smith won't be able to chase them. Neither the ship nor Kurt Wood Smith himself is very aerodynamic. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, two vuggers like Captain, I must remind you that if he pursues us his head is so wide,
Starting point is 00:58:30 his face so full on it. He ever put Kurtwood Smith in a wind tunnel? So they warp away and we see like just chunks of Voyager flying off into space as they do this. And like easily flying off. They're an overripe ship. It's not good. Yeah. The last scene is Janeway giving a speech to the remaining crew. Hey, so we're going to do that bad idea that Chico Tei had earlier.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Yeah. We're going to split up. That bad idea that Chico Teja had earlier. Yeah, we're gonna split up. Everyone has been ordered to board an escape pod and leave, and like you see, Nielix turn and walk away toward an escape pod, and everyone just kind of waits and watches him get on and go. And Jan was like, okay.
Starting point is 00:59:19 I know this was a crazy plan. A lot of good people died, but I think we can all agree it was worth it. Does anybody know how to cook? Kurtwood Smith gets on screen and he's like, did we do it? We did it. We did it. They'd like start popping bottles of the Tlaxian champagne. They're like, at least you left this behind. Yeah. Yeah. Did you notice that that bread durif guy was still there? Yes. What the fuck is that guy doing there?
Starting point is 00:59:54 You can't have an extra that looks that much like bread durif. You really can't. It's very confusing, no matter what your contrast settings are. You really cannot do that. But yeah, the button on the episode is a shot of a bunch of escape pods, departing the ship, and we get the 2B continued title screen. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:12 This wasn't a year of hell at all. Ban, it was 73 days. That's like not even half a year. I know. I could do time like that with my eyes closed. That day might still be coming. Tuva did do time like that with his eyes closed. Hahaha.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Did you like this episode Adam? Yes, in fact, you get the whole year. Wow. Brace. You're telling me I got a judge year of hell by 73 days? I don't have enough information to make a judgment like that, but I will say based on this episode, it is very affecting to see just a greater and greater level of damage happened to the ship. Like it surprised me how much I was feeling for the ship.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Yeah. Because the ship is a character on a Star Trek show. And when you see the exterior and then you see what the insides look like and you see your favorite characters just get hurt and grow beards and break their China. Like, it's tough to watch people you care about suffer. And so I like feeling something
Starting point is 01:01:30 when I see an episode of television and I felt things here when I watched all this play out. So I think it's a strong episode for that reason. I really agree. I think that everything you said is stuff that I would have said if I had gone first. So let's leave it at that and go check the P1 inbox. Wow. I got it exactly right.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Yeah, you nailed it, buddy. Wow. I will say it's not the year of hell that I remember. I must have been thinking of some other episode. Yeah? Were you remembering year of hell part two, maybe? Maybe. I was remembering all this stuff to do
Starting point is 01:02:02 with the holodack being part of year of hell. But that must have been something else Yeah, so we'll figure it out. Yeah, you know what not all years of hell been Hashtag Yes all Voyagers Adam. Let's go check the P1 in box and see what is going on in there Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel Our first P1 is of a personal nature. It's from tiny teeth and it's to juicy butt. It goes like this. Since I forgot to get you a wedding gift last year, I figured I should get you something now that we're finally having our celebration.
Starting point is 01:02:52 You're more honorable than Worf, more supportive than Chico Te, and 1,000% a better husband than O'Brien. Oh, how dare you. I love you. Also, I know you don't watch the pod regularly, but what my theory presupposes is, maybe you will. Yeah, it sounds like juicy but is pretty great up to a point.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Yeah, juicy but could be doing better. Yeah, I mean a thousand percent better husband than O'Brien. I don't know about that. And also, some percentage less than 100% great based on their not having watched any greatest yet. I mean, O'Brien sets a high bar. I think O'Brien's great. What did he ever do in the husband department? I don't know. He's got a... I feel like he kind of has a juicy butt too. So... Yeah. A couple of thick hagas back there. I mean, you can interpret this comment in more than one way.
Starting point is 01:03:48 You can interpret it as a huge slam on O'Brien, or you can interpret it as O'Brien setting a high bar, and different observers will have different experiences of the O'Brien character. Yeah, Miriam interpretations, Ben, you're right. Yeah. Well, congratulations, juicy butt, on being married to Tiny T through a year. They sound awesome Ben our second priority when message is from Greg It is to Ben and Adam the message goes like this
Starting point is 01:04:11 I discovered the drunk Shimoda podcasts right before my deployment to Afghanistan Wow Loved every minute of my journey to get caught up Promised I would support the shows when I caught up during the max fun drive So I bought the message and a membership thanks for the great show guys and for helping me Pass time on deployment. Thank you, Greg. That's a really great thing to hear. I can't believe you caught all the way up Yeah, I mean I hope you weren't going on patrol with your earbuds in that's dangerous as hell Yeah, I'm not sure we're doing any favors over there Keep your head on a swivel and you know maybe play it off the speaker on your phone and
Starting point is 01:04:50 your breast pocket or something. The enemy combatants are like, what the hell is that crap? Let's get out of here so we don't have to listen to any more of it. Yeah, our show is being used as a form of torture. Hahaha. Our show is being used as a form of torture. Well, if you'd like to get a priority on message, you can go to MaximumFun.org slash jumbo-tron to get it, and we really appreciate it. Hey Ben. What's that Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?
Starting point is 01:05:26 Drunk Shimoda! I gotta give it to Janeway for that moment of Hutzba when they radio up the other ship and she's just like so full of fucking confidence because their time she'll worked once. Yeah, I'm just... Think about it. The look on her face, the rye smile, just, chef's kiss. Great stuff by Kate Wonkru, all through this. I mean, we just watched an episode
Starting point is 01:05:52 where she's playing a different kind of Haggard. This is, like, that was like inauthentic, drug-induced Haggard. This is the real deal, the Holy Field Haggard. And she's great. She's so much fun to watch in this episode. How about you? I mean, Janeways might pick but for a different moment.
Starting point is 01:06:09 There is a moment of banger hair that is crazy good. I know the moment you're talking about. She, Janeway hits the ground and then has to get up and she gets up. Here's the thing, like when you, when you part your hair asymmetrically, if you get up on the's the thing, like when you, when you part your hair asymmetrically, if you get up on the part side down, the, you have so much float coming over the top. I'm demonstrating for you and the viewers at home, that it just gets big. And when she gets up off of the
Starting point is 01:06:37 ground in this way, because of her part, her hair is enormous here. Yeah, yeah, it's like a picked out afro for a second. And so her big hair dust off moment in the middle of this episode was great. And that earns my Shimoto like unintentionally funny. I feel like this is one of the key advantages of her new look is like, if your hair's not tied back, it can do way more fun shit with it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:04 And it looks great. It rules. Well, that's Drunk Shemout as Adam. We got to talk about our next episode. It's season four episode nine, Year of Hell. Part two. Working with only a skeleton crew, Captain Janeway desperately attempts to repair Voyager
Starting point is 01:07:20 in order to stop anorax. Kind of a pre-Skeleton crew. Mm. In a way, huh? Mm. But then again, aren't we all? Wow, deep. Anorax is the plural of a type of raincoat, right? Do you think I would be the worst philosophy professor?
Starting point is 01:07:41 Because I would just say shit like that. Like I couldn't help but like, smirk through saying stuff and like none of my students would respect me or like me for it. I think so. I have a classroom full of ban Harrison's just going, hmm. Great. Cool.
Starting point is 01:07:57 So glad I'm paying $50,000 a semester for this crap. This is the worst decision I've ever made in my life. Going into fucking massive lifelong debt for this shit. Yeah, give me a break. Adam, I'm over at gach.bizslashgame, where we keep the game of buttholes. The will of the caretaker, and our runabout is currently on square six a regular square. There's a caretaker square a few spaces ahead of us and I think I could also hit a cocoa no-no which would be very interesting given the fact that you still are in debt one cocoa no-no. Wow I'd
Starting point is 01:08:41 forgotten about that. A previous episode. No I'm not going to let you forget. Thanks for the reminder. Hey don't worry about it. A previous episode. No, I'm not going to let you forget. Thanks for the reminder. Hey, don't worry about it. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. I'm going to go and roll this bone. I don't even know what happens if we hit the cocoa no-no. That might cause us to move outside of the time space continuum or something.
Starting point is 01:09:00 Yeah. See what happens. He hit ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know what to do about this. I feel like maybe what we should do is have you do a cocoa no-no on the next episode. And then just like, I mean, we probably have to record two episodes next week, right? Yeah. So maybe you have to... I make this the first one. I have to stay drunk into the second ep. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Something like that. But then you will too. No, but then you keep drinking in the second. Oh Yeah, yeah, something like that. But then you will too. No, but then you keep drinking in the second app. Oh, that's what you're saying. Yeah, or you could be drinking in that first app that we record. You know what, I have a pretty great idea
Starting point is 01:09:55 for what I'm gonna do to square up. The cocoa no no debt. You ready for the big idea? This is gonna even us up, Ben. Okay? Okay. Get this. You're gonna pour a glass of wine and a coconut and call that square? Get up, Ben. Okay? Okay. Get this. You're gonna pour a glass of wine and a coconut
Starting point is 01:10:07 and call that square? Get this, Ben. Two coconuts. No. I think that works. I would do two coconuts just on a regular coconut. Two coconuts, Ben. I think that's the lunch.
Starting point is 01:10:21 That's the lunch. It's bullshit. It will not stay This is what you get we don't we don't have a a game of but holes Constitution so it's up to my interpretation, Ben Mm-hmm. Well, we'll see when Bill Tilly makes a poll when this episode comes out if your idea is good or if your idea is bullshit. Yeah, I just happen to be someone who does not care about the will of the people in a situation like this. Yeah. Where were you on January 6th? Drinking out of two coconuts.
Starting point is 01:10:58 Coconut helmet. Yeah. And we got to thank a lot of people who help us get the show to the folks every week. Got to thank Wendy Pretty, our producer. Got to thank Bill Tilly, our social media director. He's running the at-greatest trek accounts on Instagram and Twitter. Both distinct and fun follows. Right. It's not like the, it's not duplicative, right? If you follow in the Twitter, you're not going to see the same shit as you see on the Insta and vice versa.
Starting point is 01:11:24 Precisely. You might see some of the same shit as you see on the Insta and vice versa. Precisely. You might see some of the same shit, but there's a lot of different shit. Yeah. That's what's good about it. Those are people who are obligated to support us because they're employees. But you, the viewer out there, you're not obligated to support us, but we'd appreciate it if you did. Yeah, if you enjoy getting this show for free every week and
Starting point is 01:11:52 Add something to your week if you look forward to your Monday morning commute because you get to pop a greatest gen on Hey, what's five bucks a month? That's seems worth it, right? Five bucks makes it right maximum fun. Org slash join for that Also if you're in the market for a food podcast. How about listening to Adam Ragusia's new food podcast? Ragusia podcast. Yeah. Where we are frequent guests. Frequently, where guests all the time. And we really appreciate his hard work on the original theme music for this show. He's cooking up something in the lab for us right now.
Starting point is 01:12:23 And we can't reveal just yet, but I'm really excited about it. My favorite segment on his show, The Stake of the Week, where we are frequent guests. We gotta thank Nick Dittmore for making the show art for the greatest generation. Sure do. If you wanna join a community of friends of DeSoto,
Starting point is 01:12:42 you can probably find one on any social network. We're on truth. We're on gab. We're on parlor. I mean Adam is, Adam is on those three, but uh, if you want to be friends with me, that's where you find me. If you don't care about the will of the people, try to join a group of friends of DeSoto on there. Uh, them on DrunkShirmotor.com or Reddit or Facebook. Yeah, check out the greatest gen wikia. All of that stuff is a ton of fun. We hear it all the time. People are making really great friends with other friends
Starting point is 01:13:17 of Deso do on the internet. And with that, we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Voyager and an episode of the greatest generation Voyager where you find out what happened with our plumbing. That's the real cliffhanger. Yeah. Couple of plumbing cliff kids here. Tune back in for Pipes of Hell.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Part 2. Make it sound. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Audience supported. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture. Artist-owned.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Audience-supported.

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