The Greatest Generation - They Paved Over Urquat With a Parking Lurquat (ENT S3E3)

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

When Archer finds a new species of Xindi in the database, he takes a shuttlepod down to the last Sears Garden Center they visited to see what he can learn from their ship. But when the away team starts mutating and goons with flamethrowers show up to contain the infected, Phlox uses T’Pol’s resistance to create an antidote. Which beverage requires trust? What’s more desperate than finger gruel? Who always ruins a good dream? It’s the episode with a soft descent into meeting. Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

Here's to the finest crew in Starling. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the sun. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. I'm Ben Harrison. Adam, we have an important business meeting later and we were talking about should we

not drink a coconut drink? You know, should we kick? Should we reschedule the business meeting? Should we reschedule the record? I mean, just to be clear, you were the one with these concerns. I feel fine about having a meeting with our friend and agent more than an hour after the end of this episode.

Yeah, I mean, I was shocked by that because you've canceled, I mean, not you haven't canceled, you've just not done the assignment because you had a stationary bike session planned for later. Yeah, I come up with all sorts of reasons not to do what we're supposed to do. Last episode, you rolled. I did.

And we hit a Coco Nono square. I almost forgot. Another Coco Nono? Incredible. Incredible. Coco Nono? It's a hell of a combination. Drink will be gone.

I think I've had enough already. This is gonna help me? The antidote! Another Coco Nono. Bullshit! Incredible! Coco Nono. Coco Nono.

Coco Nono. More isn't better. Which it should be known is distinct from a read alert because this is just a tiki-themed drunk-a-soad and a read alert is a pineapple drink drunk-a-soad. So similar, like here's the thing, a read alert drink could be a Coco Nono drink, but I don't think a Coco Nono drink could necessarily be a read alert drink

unless it had pineapple in it. Yeah, I think that, you know, it's like a square is a rectangle, but not all rectangles are squares kind of a thing. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think we rolled a one for the first time in the history of the hundred sided

die also, a critical fail on a dice that makes it very hard to do that. Should bring you to roll craps with me. If you can roll a couple of those in a predictable way, that could be very profitable. If you wanna win, you gotta hit. What a fun callback. Anything special in particular about the beverage you've made today?

Yeah, so my wife and I, just over the weekend, we were talking about the plan that we've had. We've got kind of a patio backyard with a couple of areas under these... They're not pergolas, right? What are they? I think pergolas is the term. I mean, some of them, your backyard is distinct among any backyard I've ever been to in terms of like it's not I I don't want to make anyone think it's like a huge backyard, but it is very Distinctively it's weird full of areas. There's so many little areas

It's not my favorite part of this house But one area in particular is basically unused It's the area between the studio building, the ADU that was turned into a studio and like the main house where we live. And this is the place where we stick our garbage cans and this is a place where we park one of our cars. This is like a wasted space. Like we don't know what to do with it. And so many months ago we thought maybe this would be a fun place to do a tiki bar. Oh.

And it's a shock that my wife would even be into this because I brought this up when we lived in our Seattle house and we had a basement. And a basement feels like a tiki bar more than an outdoor area. Right. But when I mentioned this, it actually got some traction with her and we were just talking about it over the weekend. She, a little more derisively about it, was like, you know, if you want to do a tiki bar, you better start making with the tiki drinks, you know?

Because we've, we've done Martini Fridays for the last few months. Like we're doing cocktails fairly regularly, but we're not doing tiki drinks nearly as regularly as we should if we style ourselves as a future tiki bar situation. I can understand the instinct of not thinking your wife would be into tiki bar, but she's a very festive person. She loves a fest. I think that like a fun weird Z is kind of right up her alley in a cool way. And this area is such a trash place. Like there's nothing there, nothing's going to be there. If we put something there and then we move away,

we can easily like tear it down. Which I think cuts against what we'd want to do if we were to build a tiki bar out there, which would be like, make it fun and nice. So as we go to tiki bars over the last few months, we've been like taking pickers and noting things that we liked about other decorated. Putting a Pinterest board together.

Yeah. So who knows if that will ever happen, but it is a nice thought. But what it did is kick off a more regular Tiki drink making kind of situation for us. And one of the drinks we made over the weekend that ended up being something that I really, really enjoyed. So I remade it again as a double.

This is a recipe that I got from the Smuggler's Cove Tiki Cocktail book, which is- A fantastic book. If you are Tiki cocktail curious in any way, probably the gold standard of what you wanna go off of. What sucks about this book is that it is so good, it also requires specialty ingredients for a lot of stuff that you tend to accumulate over time

if this is something that you're gonna make your deal. Anyway, we found a recipe that we could make on zero notice called the piñata. And the piñata is three ounces of pineapple juice, one ounce fresh lemon juice, a half to a quarter ounce of demerara syrup which you make yourself, an ounce of ginger liqueur, a half an ounce of all spice dram, an ounce of black blended rum, and an ounce of blended lightly aged rum. Yeah.

I happen to have all these things. We made the syrup out of the sugar we already had, but a viewer sent us ginger liqueur. I believe that was Jonathan Heffler that sent us that ginger liqueur. Jonathan Heffler coming in clutch with our ability to make the piñata. So you shake and strain all these ingredients together and then top with freshly grated nutmeg. And you will get what I have poured here into a 10 forward glass.

It kind of looks like a hazy IPA. It looks more beer-y than it does tiki. But it's delicious I love this cocktail and if you'd like to see the recipe or any of the pictures of it We'll post it to our our social media. Yeah for tastings testings and Whatever else they say on test kitchen Yeah, and then you're like fuck fuck, I have to pay for this? God damn it. And then you're like, fuck, I already do pay for it.

Why am I being run through a bunch of password hoops constantly? What are you making and drinking, Ben? Listen, I've gotten to a place in my blender cocktail journey where I'm not really measuring things. You're the bartender pouring away the profits. I am. You've become what Taffer hates the most, Ben. Shut it down. I know, but I'm not selling these.

And I feel like it's more that I can see the matrix, you know? You are far more experienced at cocktail making than I am. I need the recipe for sure. So I'm gonna give this a guess. My guess is that this is about an ounce and a half of Coco Real or similar, like a coconut cream. It's the sweetened condensed milk of coconut milk, basically. I like that. And this comes in a squeeze bottle a lot of the time but

it's also sometimes in a can so ounce and a half of that two ounces lime juice three ounces rum, fistful of frozen pineapple chunks from the like smoothie ingredient aisle in the freezer section yeah Yeah. And then like scoop of ice, blender until smooth. And then I topped with some black pot still rubs, goslings. So that's about what I did. And, you know, tweak to taste. After that, you know, if it's too tart, more sugar. And if it's too sweet, more booze.

That was a killer move that I learned from you when you were doing the Drink About It show is like, you don't just have to accept that it tastes a certain way, like you really can tweak it. Yeah. Yeah. What I don't like about my drink is that there was no suggestion or instruction to pour over ice. Yeah.

Instead it was a pour it into a hollowed out pineapple. I didn't have one of those. You didn't have a safe in the corner of your office with a hollowed out pineapple signed by the president? Ritter has like a giant gun safe just full of hollowed out pineapples. And I wanted to pour this into like an insulated cup to keep it cold, but then I was like, that's not gonna look good for the people watching the stream.

So I'm just gonna... This is what I did. I took the Yeti insulated cup that our friends at StagePilot sent me one year and kept it cold. That's a great move by you. I'm just gonna try to drink as fast as I can. How's that? Hey, you know what?

Right before our meeting with our friend and agent, I'm going to just whip up one more of these and I'll take a nice picture in a good looking glass so that I can be shithouse drunk for our important business meeting and also we have something for the socials. It's going to be great. Rob's going to kill me if I don't do that. One way or another after this meeting, we're going to have something for the socials. It's gonna be great. Rob's gonna kill me if I don't do that. One way or another after this meeting, we're gonna have something for the socials. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Something for the show though, Ben, is what's next. What do you say we get into our comedic review of this episode of Star Trek Enterprise? It's Star Trek Enterprise season three, episode three, it's called Extinction. Got free speech and guitars. So we've got some spacemans, and they're chasing a red man

through a Sears Garden Center at night. I mean, the man isn't red, his clothes are red. I couldn't really tell. He was running too fast. He does that thing though. When you're running away, why does everyone trip? Pick up your feet if you're running for your life. This always happens.

It really does, yeah. Here's what I'll tell you. If I ever have to run for my life, the way I'm getting got isn't by tripping over my own feet. Tell you that much. No. I'm gonna get hit by a car by running out into the street or someone I didn't notice up ahead

is gonna thwack me in the face with a bat or something. There's an accomplice. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's not gonna be on me. I think accomplice would get me for sure. Accomplices always get me. One thing I really like about our space suited goons is they are brandishing a weapon

you don't often see space suited goons have, which is flamethrowers. Yeah, this is a big surprise because initially they just look like rifles. Yeah. But then they turn them on. These are rifles with pilot lights. Yeah. It becomes clear that they are incinerating this poor schmuck.

This guy's well done. And that's our cold open. After the theme, Enterprise is underway and Tepala is underdressed in her quarters or dressed just right for a massage session with Tripp Tucker Sure, I'm not bothering you in exchange for her mentoring in this area Tripp has brought a a gift of fresh Georgia peaches and She doesn't even have to eat him in front of him if she doesn't want to, but he kind of does want her to.

And so she does. And I think she likes it. It's hard to tell when a Vulcan tastes something if they're digging what they're tasting or not. I think surprise to a Vulcan often looks like liking a thing because I played this moment back a couple of times. Like she does kind of look surprised. She only takes that one bite though.

Yeah. You know? Like, is this just Tripp sending her a peach emoji? That's really funny. That's really fun. Yeah. The fact that there's two in that weird dish that he brought them in seems suggestive also, but she's a little bit salty with him

because he's canceled a bunch of these Vulcan acupressure sessions and he hasn't been sleeping well because of it. So she's like, you're only hurting yourself by not showing up for these. And he's like, it's always takes so long. It's mostly about time management. I love it when they get down to business and Tripp leaves his shoes on. Hold on, you never said anything about feet.

Is that a problem? She wants Tripp Tucker to post feet on Maine and he won't do it. So they get to work and there's a moment in here where it sure looks like Tripp has released his tension. And before they get to do the, you know, like, I brought this up before, Ben, I don't know if it was familiar to anyone else, but like, when you do the college back rub, there is then the moment where that is reciprocated.

Before there's a chance for that to be reciprocated, it's interrupted by a call to the wall thingy. Wall thingy interrupt us. And it's the captain calling to Paul to the command center where he has his Zindi database up on the screen. He's found evidence of another species of Zindi. This one evolved from arboreal primates. He's also figured out how their navigation logs work. And so the ship that they discovered, they can backtrace it to the planet it visited most recently.

And that is why they decided to go to the place that they go to. Do you think they styled Captain Archer as bedraggled here or is it just too dark to know? Because I feel like the show wants us to believe that Archer's like, he doesn't have any hours. He's just working around the clock. He's, he's obsessed with cracking this case. I wish he had like a little after five shadow or something in this moment. Cause it does seem like not his job to be going through the database page by page, line by line.

Yeah. Like something that maybe a team of people could be doing to greater effect. And he could be getting some sleep from time to time. Yeah. This sort of implies that he's not sleeping. No. The thing about this planet that they call up on the map

is that they're only a day away from there. So why don't they go check it out? So they do. There's some discussion about like, I mean, we found a Zendi ship. Are these the Zendi that killed Florida? Are the Zendi a monolith? You know? Right. Would you hold these Zindi responsible

for the crimes of other Zindi that they don't even know? Would you want that to happen to you with humanity? Seems like maybe no. I feel like an entire episode of TNG was like, alighted in three lines in the scene. Archers like, man, I wish when they took out the drawer with that dead Zindi in it, I took a picture because it was such a crispy critter in there. Like, am I really sure this isn't that? And that isn't this? I mean, that's sorta to Paul's side of the conversation.

She's like, cool, you found a ape Zindi. Neat. But as stated in a previous episode, there are many different sorts of Zindi and we don't know if they're affiliated in any way. I mean, from the Zindi Legion of Doom scenes that we've seen, it does seem like each race of Zindi sends one representative to speak for all of them. So maybe the Arborials are a monolith and the Aquatics are a monolith, but who knows? These indeed have chosen to be that voice. So they show up at this planet and find no signs of humanoid life, but they do

find a little island that has a landing craft on it. that has landing craft on it. And so it's time to pile into a shuttle pod and go down to the Sears Garden Center play set. Aboard the shuttle is Archer Reed, T'Pol and Hoshi. And on the surface, they're looking around the scene we saw in the cold open. It's night still, they got flashlights out, they're skulking around and they finally find this craft

and the craft has the doors open and Archer clocks it as his Indy ship and Hoshi ages it at being there for about two weeks. It's got an amount of decay that's consistent with this ship that's had its doors open on the service of a jungle planet for two weeks. That blew my mind. Yeah, yeah.

I believe this, right? If you've ever been in a snowy place and seen somebody that left their window open a crack overnight during a, and their car is totally full of fucking snow. I bet jungle does the same thing, you know? Or locally, like LA is a very dusty place. I know precisely what a car looks like if it hasn't been washed for two weeks. I drive them. Yeah. So does the computer on this thing still work?

That's a good question. I mean, there might be more intelligence together. Right. They only got 90% of the database. Could they grab the last 10% here? Will this thing still work? That's a good question. I mean, there might be more intelligence together. Right, they only got 90% of the database. Could they grab the last 10% here? Could they also grab a dead, crispy body on the ground not far away or another dead, crispy body? These aren't Zindi dead, crispy bodies.

Yeah, they do seem to keep finding bodies that have been mostly incinerated. It's like that scene in Dirty Work where Norm MacDonald keeps popping trunks during that commercial they're shooting for the car dealership and they're just awful at dead hookers. That wasn't a dead hooker! Hell, I know a dead hooker when I see one. Like everywhere they walk, it's just a totally crispy dead body. Yeah, because Hoshi finds one and Reed finds one and Reed is complaining about like the humidity. God, my tiki drink is kicking like a mule.

Are you feeling yours at all? This is what I was worried about. We got a fucking meeting. No, I'm glad it's happening soon. We're gonna, here's what's gonna happen. Rocket ship to top altitude and then, and then soft descent into meeting. That's what's happening. All right.

I'll take your word for it. I feel like I don't like the humidity is low key adjacent to character coughing into a little hanky and there being a spatter of blood. You know somebody is not gonna be great going forward in a show when they start complaining about the heat. Yeah, and that, I mean, here's the thing though, that they make Reed the person to articulate it first, also makes it seem as though like, yeah, Reed complains about everything,

maybe it's nothing. He's feeling a bit peckish, but he plays it off like the guy who's been bitten by a vampire. As much as my autocorrect, my horny autocorrect would love this to be the truth. T'Pol does not have load appearing on her face. Only once on Ryza. She has loaf appearing on her face.

And this seems to be like rippling and warping around and causing her some discomfort. It doesn't matter what TV show or movie it is. I think Cabin Fever did this maybe the most effectively, but like when stuff is under your skin moving, that's horror to me. And especially on your face. Yeah. Ugh.

I remember in The Devil's Advocate, Charlize Theron is out trying on fancy clothes in a changing room with a lady, and she's like topless, and that happens. And it, like, takes a scene where you're like, all right, naked lady to, ah! Terrifying naked lady! You've never enjoyed naked lady since.

It totally put me off naked lady. It's good faith to believe I can do parity. Reed suddenly looks like a frog man. Tin man. Yeah, like the mutation really flies off a cliff pretty fast. We are speed running something. Like we, there's the episode of TNG where Geordie turns into Invisible Guy.

There's the episode of Voyager where Tom Paris turns into a horny amphibian that fucks horny amphibian Janeway. Yeah. This happens so much faster than that. I feel like this question is closely related to the question of, like, do you want to die in a nuclear blast initially? Or do you want to survive for a long time and then die in pain?

Like, do you, if given the choice, do you want a fast mutation or do you want to like see it happening? I mean, I think that they're sort of like the American werewolf in London midpoint, where it's fast enough that it's not like excruciating pain that lasts for hours, but it's not so fast that you don't get to enjoy it. That's funny. I guess you're right. Like, if I'm gonna mutate, I at least want it to be a ride. Like, I don't want to just snap my fingers and like, all of a if I'm gonna mutate, I at least want it to be a ride. Yeah.

Like I don't wanna just snap my fingers and like all of a sudden I'm transformed. The makeup department did not have to come up with that many different intermediate phases of the loaf for these moments. And I think what you're saying is that it's that decision wagging the production dog here. Yeah.

We even get like a zoom in on Archer's guts at some point. This is so good. I love this. I love it every time I see it. The punch in inside the chest. I've never seen so many ribs. Yeah. They do this in Gremlins.

Did three, oh, they do do this in Gremlins. I was thinking Three Kings was like the thing I could cite. They did it in Magnolia too when they were introducing the old man with cancer. Sure, sure. So yeah, his guts are even warping about and Mayweather up in the big chair left in command. Why? What? I paused the episode at this point.

Well, the captain was leaving the bridge and he's like, all right, you've got the con. And he looked around the room and Mayweather just turned around and gave him that beautiful fucking smile. And he's like, Mayweather! Winning smile. Yeah. It's like being back in the womb. Who are you? Captain Travis Mayweather. Parents must be very proud.

When I was a kid, we called it the sweet spot. Who are you? I'm the captain. I'm the captain. I'm the captain. I'm the captain. I'm the captain. I'm the womb. Who are you? Captain Travis Mayweather. Parents must be very proud. When I was a kid, we called it the sweet spot. Who are you? I'm the captain. I guess growing up a boomer has its advantages. And your mom? Very proud.

That's true. It takes practice. Other than keeping us and Mayweather up at night, I'm not sure what we expect to accomplish here. to accomplish her. To Paul, like distress calls and it is a, you know, something is changing us. Something fucked up is going on down here and. Something's fucked up down here and it ain't us. And to some extent it is us.

She gets attacked by the captain on Hoshi. She shoots Archer, but then Hoshi gets her. J'Pol tries to run, but it sort of seems like she's like, she's like not breathing that well, maybe? Yeah, I mean, her changes have been stunted a little bit. There's also a bunch of like cross talk between mutant Hoshi and mutant Archer. There's like some gibberish.

They're the unintelligible X-Men. Kind of talking about what they're supposed to do. They tied to Paul up and make like a pretty elaborate makeshift carry-all for a captured body. This was so weird. This is, I think, low key an important detail to the transformation, because it's not as though you are transformed and there's any part of you left. Like, your body's transformed,

but also your mind is transformed in such a way that it has specific interests and knowledge. And one of your areas of expertise is like building an improvised stretcher out of the jungle that's around there. Bushcraft, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

Like they watch a million hours of the primitive technology YouTube channel or something. Like the next thing they make is one of those like cone shaped baskets and catch fish in a brook. Yeah, it's really great. They're ready for naked and afraid. They take her to a clearing and she's trying to convince them to untie her and Hoshi, Crow Hoshi doesn't really want to untie her, but Crow Archer is sort of displaying some, like,

dominance in the group and does it anyway. It seems like he's scent-based, he does a lot of smelling to Paul and other things throughout this episode. We've got to talk about the physical performance attributes of our actors who have been transformed here because it's one thing to say that they've been mutated and they're covered in loaf and whatever, but there is a third element to this, which is a sort of like, they're clowning a little bit.

Like so much of their performance is physical, it's the gibberish too, but like it's posture, it's the weird clicking they make, it's like the head cock of things. Right. They're a little bird-like or like velociraptor-like in the way they react to stimuli. I want to say this. I don't give a lot of flowers to Scott Bakula. Bakula disappeared in this role. His voice didn't sound like himself. Everything about him physically seemed different. The fucking goofy wigs that they have to wear. Like I tell you what, if you've got to be a mutated creature on Star Trek, a big goofy wig is really going to help you sell it. I thought the wig carried a lot of this episode. Yeah, I mean, I think that it's also just instructive of like a choice that Star Trek

makes over and over again, which is not to make aliens like this that much. Right, because if you can't sell it, if you can't commit to looking fucking dumb, which these aliens look, they look fucking dumb. Like, you gotta go all the way. You must disappear in this role, or you're gonna be reviled and made fun of. And the show would just be so much more annoying if this was like a mood that we were in a lot of the time. And it's remarkable restraint not to do it,

because it's kind of like, I feel like if, hey, they're aliens, they're going to be like really weird and different. Yeah. Like you could see them going down this path more often than they do. It feels like, like the improv class where you're made to act like an animal. And there might be someone just off screen in this episode going, no, like feel your body, like, like really be the monkey. And there's like three people, cause no, like feel your body. Like really be the monkey.

And there's like three people, cause this is like a 101 level class. There's like three people that are really doing it. These are the true believers. The other nine people in the class Can't do it. Who signed up because they like don't have a lot of friends and they're just kind of new to town are like, I can't.

There's no fucking way. Yeah, you don't have a future in improv unless you can commit to this. No! So up on Enterprise, Dr. Flax is at the big board with Tripp Tucker. And from what we saw before, acting Captain Mayweather, that part isn't confirmed in this scene, but what they got is life signs on the surface. The data is

all weird though. Where are you? I mean, if they're the dust buster club they sent down there, they should not be alien life signs, wouldn't you say? And that's kind of consistent with what T'Pol said in her last message. They're being altered. I like that Flock seems to have gotten a transcript of the distress call. He watched Star Trek on Star Trek. He is saying the thing about they're being altered. Maybe we should take that literally.

He is saying the thing about their being altered. Maybe we should take that literally. Like, and Tripp is like, you know, we don't have time to, like, worry about how. Uh, we're going down there in the other shuttle with EV suits to try and get them back. Tripp's like, I've been altered before. I know what it's like.

I'm still altered. I have a special EV suit with milkers in the sleeves. You're never gonna let that go, are you? I don't like how you treated me. We should treat them a little bit better, wouldn't you say? The golden rule of Star Trek is treat the altered the way you would want to be treated if you were altered. There's a real like energy to Tripp's performance where he's like, hey, yeah, we're going and we're bringing EV suits.

Happy doctor, EV suits, I'm on my way. Get the decon chamber ready for us. Oh yeah, you better have a fucking shitload of goo for us to lube up with after we get back, all right doc? Get a vat of gel ready. So one of the big struggles in that scene where they untied T'Pol was T'Pol convincing Hoshi, who seems to be the most suspicious of the Cro-Mag crew. And also like Linda Park's physicality throughout the episode, maybe the most commitmentist.

Yeah. Yeah. Like Linda Park is what my experience of 101 at UCB was, which was Nicole Byer was in my class. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, what are any of the rest of us doing here? Yes. So yeah, they've gotten the universal translator working.

And so now we can communicate with the Chrome Mag crew and all they want is to go to Urquat. That is what matters to them most. And you know, Hoshi doesn't trust T'Pol, but T'Pol like kind of forces Hoshi's hand by saying like, yeah, Urquat, that's what we should be looking for. I think that's a capital idea. Great move by T'Pol to kind of change the temperature of the conversation. Like, yeah, our quad sounds good.

We're in alignment. We're all together on the quad thing. Yeah. I hear it's beautiful this time of year. So together they continue the search for whatever that is. And look at that. Reed can climb a tree like a denobulin. And what he brings down is a rotten coconut full of maggots. And then Archer and Reed start fighting over eating a coconut full of maggots. And when it looks like Archer's going to kill Reed, he gives up his maggot filled coconut and their skirmish is over. You know what? I never understood why that lady didn't accept a Coco No-No from Jordy all those years ago. Now that I've seen what's in a Coco No-No, I get it. Yeah. The thing about a lot of coconut drinks is that they jam the straw into a hole and then

you don't see what's inside. There's a lot of trust with hollowed out coconut beverage, isn't there? Sure is. If we change the words, then it's fair use all day long. T'Pol does not want or like their food. No, thank you. I'm not hungry.

I would say that Finger Gruel has been bested. Like this show came up with something more desperate to eat than Finger Gruel. Can you tell me if I'm right or wrong with my understanding of a Benjamin R. Harrison in a social situation? You would have eaten this. I'd give it a try. I'll try anything once. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought.

I'm gonna go cash that ticket now. Yeah. Another thing I wanna say about the scene, we've called things effectively gross before. There is something about this scene that is powerfully gross. It really works. And it's not just about how excited

and hungry they are in eating. It's not just the closeup shot of the maggot. It's not the darkness or the loaf or the wigs or whatever. It's everything working together to make this whole scene. Like, T'Pol is great because she isn't grossed out by it. She's a Vulcan. Right. But like even her being there helps sell the idea that, this isn't right. This feels bad to watch.

Yeah. Right. There's like a gestalt of repulsion that you get over the course of seeing how they open the pods to get at the stuff. What's in there, the color. These things don't want to be eaten. You know, it's like eggs that have turned. Yeah. The three finger spoon you make out of a hand. Reserve that for pasta salad when you're high on LSD in the Santa Monica mountains.

Okay. It's a very specific callback. Look at the Wiki for, just click Benjamin R. Harrison in the Wiki. Stories About is the subsection. And then you'll find LSD in the Santa Monica mountains. You'll read them. The sub subsection. Yeah.

Read a bunch of that stuff. Trip and a couple of the Makos show up and the Cro-Mag crew lose their minds and kind of scatter. And this turns into a scene where like they're being hunted, but Trip does not have Predator Cam fishing the way Archer does. And Trip is like very close to Archer, not seeing him at one point. Yeah. Oh no, Chang goes down first and then Palmer. Not Chang, not Palmer.

I love how there's like a moment of great emotion when they go down, like we even recognize who they are through the face screen of the EV suit and like we even know who they are at all outside of a brief dinner conversation at the table of Hoshi. Yeah. Like Daniel Dae Kim very recognizable now, but I think was kind of, not even yet of that guy at this point in his career. So, yeah. They do feel a little bit like red shirts the way they go down. And Reed comes after Trip and gets stunned for his trouble. And then the captain starts like clubbing Trip in his spacesuit with a big piece of wood. So,ol is able to like break up the fight.

Take Lieutenant Reed back to Six-Bay. What about you? I'm staying with them. Sup, Commander? There is a real confidence that T'Pol has that she's gonna be with it enough to do what she needs to do. Like this is kind of an inflection point of the whole episode. Like a rescue team has been dispatched. Do you accept rescue? You could go with them. T'Pol's like, no, I do not accept. I'm gonna follow mutated Archer around.

I mean, this is what Mitch from Baywatch would have done too. Ticka, ticka, to. Is it? I'm not rescued until all of us are rescued. It is. Yeah, you put it that way. Yeah, T'Pol's Mitching around.

She really is. Yeah, you put it that way. Yeah, T'Pol is mitching around. She really is. For sure. Flox gets like, he has like FaceTime into the decon chamber at Six Bay and is watching Reed just tear himself apart in there. Like they should have padded the walls of the decon chamber for this. How much smarter is T'Pol in a compromised state than Reed? Like T'Pol was taking off wall panels to escape. Cro-Magnon Reed is just totally unable to escape in a comedic way. We learned that his blood was absolutely chock-a-block with a virus that transforms any humanoid into a different species.

But to Paul has something in her blood, a K chromosome or something, her vulcan-ness keeps her from transforming completely. And Dr. Flax has the idea, well, if we just had a little bit of her DNA, maybe we could make a cure out of this. And by we, I mean me because I'm Dr. Flux and you're Tripp Tucker. We never addressed the nipples, did we Tripp? Like I probably could have cured that. That's not something you wanted to cure for. And now they're just the nipples in the room, aren't they?

There would have been like a gene therapy option, kind of gotten you back to square one, but no. I want my nipples. I need my nipples. I need my nipples. If there's a K chromosome, are there Vulcans that are, where their chromosomal pattern is KY? Yes. I like that a lot.

That's good. Are there also Vulcans that have a KKK? Mm. Chromosome? I would say that that's not logical. Okay. So two ships show up. Is now a good time for two ships?

Mm-hmm. Doesn't matter, here they come. These are your classic Star Trek guys saying, you didn't realize that this is restricted space? I'm pretty surprised by that. And Tripp is like, it wasn't well labeled. In my memory, I often get UPN and the WB confused back when they both existed. I think there was some definite charascuro between those two networks where it wasn't

entirely clear which was which. The generic WB network superhero that appears on FaceTime here made me believe this show was on either network or both at the same time. I don't know. But this guy, this guy's super something, whatever he is. And he's got a warning. You're under quarantine, Enterprise, because of this dangerous virus. Also, get ready to be boarded by folks with flamethrowers. Tripp, I think, rightfully takes great umbrage with this. He does not want to be burned to a

crisp because Reed is a part of their crew that's been infected. But this WB superhero guy on FaceTime asks some pretty incisive questions like, does he still look like Reed? Or is he still off-putting and hard to be around like Reed? Or has this person recorded any messages to their ex? If this person has not done any of these things, they might be a candidate for flamethrower. The only course of action is to neutralize the outbreak. They're told to quit their bluster and Tripp is saying like, we actually have an idea about like how to, how to save these people.

And the guy's like, yeah, we'll look into it. We'll go down there and find them for you. We're actually prepared and experienced in this area. We will lasso them with our flame lassoes. I really love Tripp in this scene. We make fun of him for being folksy or whatever, but he is really practical in the, hey, this is day one for us.

Yeah. Why don't you, why don't you give us the rest of the day to figure out what we want to do instead of rushing over here and flaming everything. Right. Like we're still in orbit. Yeah. You can shoot us out of the sky if we try to leave orbit. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't just come over uninvaded. Archer discovers some Star Trek caves. You know, you hear about this all the time, like abandoned commercial real estate, like what can we do with it? And this is really clever. They've adaptively reused these Star Trek caves to make housing.

He's like discovering a nice spacious apartment that has a balcony that overlooks a beautiful underground city. There's a whole civilization here. Was this intentional or unintentional how, you know, we get a panning of the wide shot across this territory. It feels very giant model in the lobby of a city planner or architect kind of situation. Like we've seen the show do better at this territorial view, but is it not supposed to be good because this is a dream?

Something about it just fell off the entire time. I think what is wrong is that they are doing lots of like populating the public squares of these things with very janky looking 3D models of people walking. They should stop with the walking. Yeah. Yeah. And just like have it be far back enough that you see like cars and like hover vehicles going around, not close up enough to see the people

whose arms aren't close enough to their body, you know? They should do what people tell me all the time, which is stop with the walking. It's not good, you're walking. I gotta say, Adam, not to dunk on our buddies over at the Flophouse, but I listened to an episode of the Flophouse the other day where some walk-ins were being done and I was like, Adams is better. That's really kind of you to say. Yours is fine. I do not have a good walk-in. Yours is excellent. So he also sees like an unmodified version of,

you know, non-Chromag Archer. Yeah, what's he doing there? Uh-oh. And that's when he like starts awake and it turns out this was all a dream that Chromag Archer was having. I bet there are a lot of Star Trek fans out there, a lot of FODs that have a really interesting or fun dream

and then Archer shows up and they're like, ah! Ah! Nope, I'm awake now. And I'm the sort of awake that can't get back to sleep. I guess I'm gonna start my morning routine at four. You want me to go back there? No fucking way. Legally it's just a fart joke.

Hi, is this Sam? Yes it is. I'm Brenda, host of Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries on Maximum Fun, and I'm calling because you've been named Maximum Fun's Member of the Month for May. Wow, I'm really excited to hear that. I love being a member. I like all the bo-co and I just, I enjoy all the shows that I listen to. I just, I love Maximum Fun.

As our Member of the Month, you'll be getting a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fun store, a special member of the month bumper sticker, a special priority parking spot at Maximum Fun HQ in Los Angeles, California, just for you. I can't wait to see what the bumper sticker looks like. Oh yeah, I am obsessed with bumper stickers. What's your message to people thinking about joining Maximum Fun? I mean if you really like the shows, I think it's like a really good way to help support them. I'm really happy I'm able to. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for making your show.

Become a Maximum Member now at MaximumFun.org slash join. You can't really know if your own show is any good. So I asked my kids about ours. Is Jordan Jesse Goh a good show? No, definitely not. It's really bad. I would say out of 10, maybe like a 4 out of 10. It's just really boring. Yeah, zero.

Subscribe to Jordan Jesse Goh, a comedy show for grownups. You will never take the greatest chin alive. Ben would rather die. I love how when mutated Archer wakes up, he's excited. And Hoshi's excited about the possibility of Urquhart being real and being near maybe. And as their hope balloon inflates, there is T'Pol to pop it. Over and over she pops their balloon. There are no cities on this planet.

You're wrong. She doesn't take any joy in this though. She's being practical. Yeah. Like, look, look, this thing you're thinking you're going to go to, it isn't here. You should come to enterprise instead. It's too bad that T'Pol doesn't have the same uniform as them because I

understand why T'Pol doesn't- I think a generation of young men would argue that she's wearing exactly the uniform that she should wear. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying it's too bad generally. I'm saying in this specific case, because like part of the discussion among the Cro-Mags is, you know, why don't we remember anything before waking up in the jungle with this broad?

And if she could be like, look at my uniform, look at your uniforms, we're the same kind of guy, you just got, you know. This is a great point. Her uniform gives her away as maybe not one of them. Her uniform and her lack of guy. You just got, you know. This is a great point. Her uniform gives her away as maybe not one of them. Her uniform and her lack of loaf. Like, like they both work against her completely. You're right. There's no way to establish trust aside from being like, yeah, Urquat. And along with the balloon popping, it's no good. The whole package. It's bad. It totally ruins it for, for them. But yeah, they're excited to find Urquat even more

because, oh, it's below the surface. No wonder we were having a tough time finding it. When we cut back to Enterprise, I was shocked that WB Superhero was aboard already and in Six-Bay and they're checking out the mutated read in the monitor. And what we learned in this scene is that tens of millions of people on his world were infected with what reeds infected with, and then subsequently destroyed. Destroyed, like the word used when animals need to be euthanized.

Yeah. It is hardcore. This is the bird flu of people, essentially. The thing about the Loquec, which is who these aliens are, they made the virus and it killed them, but the Lokec were wet market enthusiasts who loved eating bats. And they loved eating bats as much as they couldn't fuck.

And so they tried to make a drug that turned every living thing into one of them. And oopsie doodle. Yeah. You know, like, what did it kill you to program an off switch into this thing? Yeah. Yeah. WB superhero gets a call in the scene.

Uh-oh. There's three infected on the planet. And so he relays that a flamethrower club needs to go down there to investigate and Tripp's like, hey, do you think I could go too? And W.B. superhero just kind of insists that it's a solo mission and leaves him out of it. But when he leaves, Flax is like, hey, Tripp, you got to get me to Paul's DNA and it's got to be in less than two hours or it's over.

This mission's done and we're going to lose them forever. But where will they get it? Tripp is like, remind me where DNA comes from. Oh, right. It's in your blood. The only class I passed was that one. It's because the cartoon spoke to me in my language. This is the first time I've really seen myself in media.

It's why representation counts. Ha ha ha ha ha. Here's the fucking crazy thing. Trip walks right into DePaul's apartment, because you can in Star Trek. Yeah. He grabs the container where the fruit gift was, opens it up, and there is a bitten once peach

put back into the container with the other peaches. Who does that? Does that kill your theory that she liked the peach? No, because some people, when they like a thing, just want to take one bite and save it like forever. Oh, save for it. T'Pol could be one of those. Yeah, I had a friend who did that with Redwall books.

He would read one page a night, stretch it out. Love the Redwall books. Yeah. Brian Jacques. Yeah. The best. That was a whole thing. God.

Why didn't Brian Jacques get super rich? Why did it have to be fucking J.K. Rowling? I mean, Brian Jacques crawled so J.K. Rowling could run and be problematic. Be a horrific person. They could never do Redwall though. Like, Redwall was deserving of a movie franchise and it never worked. Yeah. Did you like when Tripp got the peach out

and then he pulled a piece of T'Pol's hair and pulled it tight between his fingers? I mean, that part was a lot better than when he grabbed the peach with the bite out of it and he held it up, like, exactly to the outline of his mouth and, like, pressed it in. exactly to the outline of his mouth and like pressed it in. I love you, T'Pau. A shuttle heads down and Crow Mag Archer

finds this passage that he saw in his dream. It's been kind of boldered in, like rocks have been piled up in the aperture of the entry to the Star Trek caves, but they pull them aside and they go in there. The entrance to this area is sort of an over the entrance boulder holder. Indeed. They find another dead inside there.

Yeah. Unclear whether this is them. Did you get a good look at this purple, dead alien? There was a lot of color in this crispy corpse. Yeah. Is that because it had been flamethrowered? Yeah. Was it supposed to like be red hot or something? That doesn't make sense. It's covered in cobwebs. Or like a black and blue steak, you know? Burned to a crisp on the outside, but cool and purple on the inside. Pretty nice. Yeah.

Anyways, they also go to that same balcony and the camera zooms over Archer's shoulders and we get the ruins of Urquat. It's been destroyed for a really long time. And this is a real, a real bummer. It's really takes the wind out of the sails of the Chrome Ags. Yeah. If you've ever seen an ape disappointed, that's the physical acting we get here. So Paul wants to turn this disappointment into action though. She's like, Hey, we got nothing to stay for.

Urquhart is fucked. Why don't you come back to Enterprise, get some maybe mutant reversal antibiotics, and we talk things over? Mutant Archer, if he wasn't suspicious of T'Pol before, is very suspicious now. He's like, I couldn't help but notice that your uniform is different from ours. Maybe it's your people that did this to our beautiful home world. Yeah. Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Someone's approaching though. It's the flamethrower club. And they've been spotted. It's sort of saved by the flamethrower club, but sort of another opportunity for T'Pol to win their trust because she's like, come with me. I will lead you to safety from flamethrower guys. And the team, the flamethrower team has been ordered by WB superhero to get the Vulcan woman and destroy the others because he is also kind of curious about this DNA chromosome that can resist the virus.

Flamethrowers are so fucking cool. Why aren't they the substitute for like, you know, the Washington Bullets basketball team? They're not the Bullets anymore. We can't have, we can have references to firearms. They got to be something else. Like, flamethrowers are cool, right? No one's used a flamethrower in a mass shooting. Let's make that the thing. Hey, I play basketball for the Washington flamethrowers. Awesome! Why isn't that a thing?

Dylan Firebold and Eric Charis. You're making a Columbine reference there? Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, that's a variation of the theme I'm going for. I'm struggling on this episode, Adam, because I think I could have run my blender for like 15 seconds longer. I'm getting that thing where you've got little chunks of pineapple that are getting caught

in my straw. Oh. I can't get anything through it. And so then I have to push out. Can I tell you, I'm hearing you, I'm hearing you suck on mic. You got to take that away from the mic, man. Wendy's going to kill me, isn't she? Yeah, she is.

Fuck. And you deserve it. You blew it. God damn it. You blew it. God damn it. You blew it. I'm just gonna stop trying to use straw. I think that's the solution to this. Straw is the problem. Hey, I got a question for you.

We've got a blender. We've had a blender for like 10 years, a fancy blender. It's a Breville, which is not a Vitamix, but it's like the competitor Vitamix. Sure. And it's great because it's, it's bullet and flame thrower proof, but it started leaking oil out of its differential. Like it just started and I'm kind of freaking out about it because we rely

on it for a lot of things and now I feel like it's dying and there's no way 10 years later, it's still under warranty. No. I'm scared for this thing, Ben. Can you fix it? And I'm not asking you to fix it. I'm saying, can a person fix it? I bet there's like a rubber gasket that just gave out because age, you know.

It's why I didn't make this drink with a beverage. And by that, I mean a blender today. I'm going to be great in this meeting, by the way. Like it's more than an hour away. I got this. Yeah. Have you seen on social media, the guy that repairs KitchenAid stand mixers? I have not seen this.

There's a guy who's like, he is like the most energy of anybody on planet earth. And what he does for a living is, he might be in Seattle actually. Like I think like people just bring him in their, you know, 15 year old kitchen aid and go like this isn't working anymore. And he takes it apart and shows you all the parts

and the, you know, the orbital gear. And he like, you know, take, he strips it down and like puts it all back together better than new. Those folks are miraculous because they cut against the whole made by a man can be repaired by a man and by man, I mean person, but like the quality of our small home electronics and appliances these days is like, you can't work on them yourself. Yeah. So I wonder if there's a guy like that for blender.

I need to take my vacuum into the, to like a vacuum repair person, which I think is still a thing, right? It's absolutely a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not buying a new fucking vacuum. Are you kidding me?

There was a shop that was a specialty coffee machine, espresso machine repair up in Seattle. I love that place. I've been there. In Seattle? Yeah. I know that place. I've been there. In Seattle? Yeah. I know exactly what place you're talking about because I went there with my buddy Mahad when

we were doing that film shoot in Seattle. And that guy is full of stories. He was like employee number three or four at Starbucks and remembers what it was like in the early days. If you had to choose, I would definitely choose Blender over Coffee Maker and Vacuum for once you dig through the guts and get to the core, the disgustingness of what you might find there. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be relatively fine compared to the other two. You go into the core of a vacuum, you could find anything. Yeah, there's dead bodies in there for sure.

Absolutely. It's good faith to believe I can do parity. Speaking of dead bodies, around this crispy dead body, there's a great big start of Trek fight in this cave. And T'Pol actually stops Cro-Mag Archer from killing his attacker. But it's too late for the attacker

because Cro-Mag Archer put a hole in his suit and you can hear the air escaping. And his buddies in their spacesuits come around the corner with their flamethrowers and they're like, oh, hole in your suit? Sorry, man. Nothing we can do about it. And they fucking torch him. I love how there's absolutely no suggestion of, hey, we know each other, right? Like you get none of that. These guys was to wheel around the corner and it is done.

Yeah. It's a mercy killing on high heat. It kind of reminds me of that scene in Starship Troopers where they like, sniper a guy that's been gotten by one of the flying bugs. Yeah. Yeah. You know? That's great.

Gotta take him out. Uh-huh. And if it was me, I'd trust one of you to do the same thing. Yeah. I hope when the day comes, Ben, you can summon the courage to do that to me. I don't think so. That's how it would go. Wish I could help you, buddy. Ben, you got to kill me.

I got, I got to live with myself. You know what I mean? Ben, I'm telling you, everything depends on you killing me. You just gotta do it. See this is why you don't have power of attorney over me or anyone else. I have power of attorney over some people. You'd be surprised. Let me just say, those people have made a terrible mistake. So they get outside and they're surrounded by flamethrower spacemen.

Amazing. And this is great because it's like, we got to Paul, she's our hostage. And it's like, do the flamethrower guys really care that much about bringing her back alive? Like, I don't know. Like you can't do the thing that I love in action movies where the hero is such a good shot that he can bullseye, you know, right in the forehead of the guy that's holding someone hostage. To a flamethrower, everything looks like a nail. That's how these guys are feeling.

But a team of Makos beamed down with Tripp and saved the day. T'Pol is able to talk Chromag Archer and Chromag Hoshi into leaving Urquat, even though they have like been programmed on a genetic level to want to be in Urquat. Yeah. They paved over Urquat with a parking Lurquat. It's never coming back. Mutant Archer. So they got to kind of get out of there quickly. And Tucker is like radioing up to Captain Mayweather, like go to warp the second we've

docked our shuttle pods. The bad guys chase them and Tripp returns to the bridge and they're like firefighting with the WB superhero ships, which I like the design of those ships, by the way. We didn't talk about the way those ships looked, but they were pretty cool. Yeah. I liked them a lot. They're real drill bit ships. Yeah.

And WB superhero calls on the FaceTime and Drip is like, man, I told you, dude, we just needed a little more time. What the hell is wrong with you? And WB Superhero could have been like, hey, you left orbit. That was like the main thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Kind of broke the contract that I thought we had with each other. Yeah. By running. He is sort of stopped in his tracks by a, not entirely unloafed, but somewhat less loafy, Cro-Mag, Archer, and Hoshi, who show up on the bridge with flocks and go like, Hey, we're back to normal. The thing worked.

Yeah. I feel like the, the direction is act like T'Pol did, like affected but not compromised. Yeah. That's what Archer looks like here. Yeah, and so, hey, you know, not all heroes look like they're on the WB, but this one does and he stands down.

Great Dr. Flock's moment here. He's like, hey, I had some time, so I whipped up some super lube and I look at them now and you'll never get any if you destroy the ship. So why don't you stand down your weapons? And so they do. We get an elliptical cut to later archers log. Dr. Flock's has made enough super lube to share

with the USS WB early 2000s Friday night line up ship. And the hope is that future outbreaks and the need for flamethrowers is gone. In Six Bay, Flax shoots up Reed with some drugs to help with like long haul mutant symptoms that he's had. Yeah. Food doesn't taste right. Yeah. All they want to eat is maggots.

Fox can help with that. You're welcome to some of the moth larvae. I feed my pyrethian bat. When Reed leaves, Archer walks in and it's clear that he's feeling pretty beat up too. They have that thing, like that solidarity of like, we both really got down on those maggots and the coconut, didn't we? Yeah. We both really got down on those, uh, maggots in the coconut, didn't we? If it's the maggots in the coconut, it's a gross memory. I love Archer here.

Archer is being a great manager. He's like, look, because I have experienced what my subordinates have, I'm going to grant us some time off. So, a couple couple days off sounds like it's a good idea, right? Right. Reed agrees, he's gone. Reed leaves, Dr. Flux asks Archer, hey, I got the last little bit of the wet market virus. I'm about to throw it into the crematorium. And Archer's like, no. Dr. Flux is like, why? Archer's like, if we did that, this species that tried so hard to preserve themselves, they'd go extinct, right? And we don't want to be like this Indy. We don't want to become what we hate the most. So let's keep this one last wet market open with one last dead bat inside, and we'll keep

it next to the half-eaten peach in to Paul's room. That way it'll be safe, right? I feel like it's being set up like a, now we have a bio weapon aboard. I hope it's not that, but I understand why it would be. Archer's expressed feelings about this are so, like, sentimental and... I think he's a little close to the situation, don't you? I do, yeah. I mean, he's still got fucking loaf on his face.

Like ask me in a week, Archer. I feel like what we don't get in this scene is Dr. Flock saying, all right, Captain, sure, and then turning toward the, Captain, sure. And then turning toward the camera, like, sure. Ha ha ha. Whoops, I dropped it in the matter decombiner. Final moment in the episode, dedicated to Jerry Fleck. Do you know who Jerry Fleck is? Educate me. Jerry Fleck is the show's first AD.

Wow. And if you've ever been an AD, you know what a terribly difficult and thankless job that is being the director under the director, basically the one to tell everyone on the set to do things, freeing up the director's mind to be thinking of creative stuff and so forth. Like you're keeping the schedule and what it means is you're the taskmaster. Everybody is getting how much

time they have left to set up the shot from you and you are writing them to, you know, to stay on time. I want to say this. I was a terrible AD for obvious reasons. If you are a beloved AD, the way Jerry Fleck was, deserving of a card at the end of an episode. It means you did your job well and you were liked. And that seems like kind of a magic trick that Jerry Fleck was able to pull off. So there's a lot I don't know about him

or his relationship to the crew, but I'm just going to presume that that's a really hard job that he must have done well to earn a spot that he did at the end of the show. Indeed. This, the last show he worked on before dying. Do you think either of us are going to be lucky enough to have a last show before dying in this podcast?

God, I hope so. I feel like it could be on mic for us, you know? Honestly, if it's not on mic, I'll be disappointed. Yeah. Yeah. Weird one for Wendy to edit, but yeah, this is the one where Adam and Ben die at about the 34 minute mark. I swear to God, if we die on the same episode, I'll be so pissed.

Oh yeah. Please let me die on my own episode. Christ. Can I at least have that to myself? It's like coming at the same time. It's very rare, but it's sweet when it happens, right? Did you like this episode, Ben? A bit of a shake and bake Star Trek episode, like not ideas that we haven't encountered before in Star Trek,

but I thought it was well done in the context of this show. And I think to the extent that this new season is like a new vibe for the show, I feel like every time they are in this amount of trouble with, you know, another alien ship that's, like, doing damage, it feels like the stakes feel higher because of that. Like, oh, my God, they're, like, the only ship in the Expanse that can respond to this zindi threat, and these fucking WB superheroes are making their lives miserable. What the hell?

Yeah, yeah. So, I think that's actually really working for me right now. How about you? This episode really made me respect the legion of zombie actors that there are now in Hollywood. Like to physically act the way that the mutated act in this episode. You need to do very little to get made fun of on this show. I'm not making fun of them.

Yeah. Like they went all the way, they committed, and it wasn't funny in a way that was unintentional. It was like funny and interesting in the way that it should be. And my hat is off to Linda Park, to Scott Bacula, to Dominic Keating. I couldn't commit to that level. I couldn't.

I'd feel silly and dumb. They did it. Good job by them. That is what I liked about this episode. That is what I'll remember. Indeed. Well, Adam, do you want to see if there's anything memorable in the priority one inbox?

Let's see if this is the episode. Priority one message from Let's see if this is the episode. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income. Supplemental. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra.

By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. Ben, we've got a promotional Priority One message here. Here's how that goes. Synchronized Swatches, the Parker Lewis Can't Lose Rewatch Podcast is your twice-monthly dose of coolness. Every other week, hosts Chris and Chip watch an episode of the delightfully cartoonish 90s sitcom, then record themselves talking about it. We're halfway through season one and recently posted bonus episodes featuring our interviews with series stars Cora Nemec and Troy Slatton.

Now is a great time to join us, so subscribe to our channel at Synchronized Swatches on YouTube and then follow us over on Instagram and TikTok at swatchespod. Also Ron Canada was in episode eight of Parker Lewis Can't Lose just saying. That's pretty cool, right? Wow. Ben, this was a formative show for me when I was growing up. Really?

I fucking loved Parker Lewis Can't Lose. And I love that they name their show something that like when their rewatch portion ends like they can they can do another show after if they feel like they want to keep going. Great gets with Cora Nimick and Troy Slatton. I am a huge fan of this concept. I think it's great. I have never seen a frame of Parker Lewis Can't Lose. Wow! Wow! We got to bring that back for the the pilot program or something. I don't want to watch the pilot I want to watch the one with Ron Canada. Yeah gotta do that. That's fun. That sounds like a lot of fun. I wish

Chris and Chip best of luck with their endeavors. All right, our next P1 is from Tiny, and it's to Brygo. Happy 13th wedding anniversary from She Who Is Your Wife. Thank you for seeing Star Trek 11 with me back in the day, and double thank you for introducing me to these podcast boys. You might call me Kern Because I hardly Remember my life before you May our union remain

blessed with joy laughter and mild embarrassment Hey Ben What's that? Which movie do you think Star Trek 11 was don't look it up? Guess Star Trek 11 which movie is it insurrection no The first JJ Abrams movie was the 11th Star Trek movie How about that? Oh, I was off by quite a bit.

Yeah. Wild, huh? 11. Yeah. Back in, 2009 is back in the day now? Who talks about them in numerals? You can speak to us normally. I don't know.

I like it. Do you think that they meant to say Star Trek 2? And it was like, I, I? Those look like two ones. It's two ones, clearly, but I don't know. I'm just, I'm throwing it out there, you know? Ben, our final priority one message goes like this. Today, I cut up through the backstacks

after finding TGG through an ad on the Adventure Zone about a year ago. Whoa. Your wit, humor, tech insights, rapport, and class A Wendy editing made this my number one pod. It makes me feel so good to kick Adventure Zone down a notch. That's great. You've kept me company on long drives and kept me sane during longer lonely days in the lab. Thank you.

Can Mark Twain be cross-examined by Klingon country lawyer? Jeremy, how dare you? This is the worst episode to make that kind of request. Why I do not concede to your cross examination. I am a simple gah farmer. I do not know your upscale fancy wild west ways. Me and the judge are good friends. I do not believe you have passed the bar exam in this district. Do you think Jeremy is talking about the lab in terms of doing science or the lab in terms

of like making rap songs? Like, I'm in the lab on the lab top with the with fruity loops You know you're the only host of the show that would Perceive that in that way Could be could be don't want to rule it out I don't want to rule it out Jeremy if you've got some sick beats send them in is this the Jeremy that we know I wonder like we know a couple of FOD Jeremy's I just wonder if this is a familiar. Follow up and let us know Jeremy. Yeah, I mean, we've known Jeremy for years and years. I know, I know.

There's no way this is that Jeremy, right? Couldn't be. I mean, it's extremely polite if it's that Jeremy not betraying that it is that Jeremy that we know. They've been nice to us for a long time, but actually haven't been listening to the show until a year ago. Taking a ton of great pictures of our live shows.

Yeah, that would be weird. But maybe, who knows? Oh, yeah. Didn't really connect to us, what you guys were doing at those live shows where I was taking pictures. But then I heard an ad on the adventure show. Yeah, for so many people, it takes an ad on a McElroy show to become interested in us. If you're interested in a message that we read on your behalf, you can go to maximumfun.org

slash Jumbotron and we will do exactly that the way we have on this episode. Get yourself the greatest gin bump or whatever else we can do for you. It's a great way to support the production of our show Alright Adam, I got a sober up before our meeting with our friend and agent We have exactly an hour to do that in that time Can you tell me if you found yourself a drunk Shimoda? I did I did and This one is going to go to, you remember the alien, the flamethrower alien

that had a hole, a hole in his suit, and then got flame, like Mercy flamethrowered? Yeah. That guy is Jimmy Ortega. Whoa. He's been a working actor for forever. He's been on Star Trek shows. He was also in Babylon, a new favorite

movie of mine. There's a cold open to the movie Babylon where it really sets the tone for the whole thing. An elephant and an elephant wrangler are brought to a party and shit ensues. and shit ensues. Jimmy Ortega is a big part of that scene. And what a fun couple of points to put together for me as a fan of both Star Trek and the movie Babylon. That's going to mean Jimmy Ortega is my drug Shimoda. I just love making those connections across Star Trek and time. What about you? Wasn't he in the pilot of TNG?

Didn't he get like frosted by a queue? Yeah, incredible. The tentacles of Jimmy Ortega's career across Star Trek. Wow. Was he ever in an episode of Parker Lewis Can't Lose? No. Okay. I gotta give it to Hoshi for this episode. There's, I think it's the scene where they're looking out

over the ruins of, or Quat, and Hoshi has just struck the zaniest pose possible behind like T'Pol and Archer as they're looking out over this horrific scene. It's like a moment that lasts a little bit too long for that pose to just be held. Like, I was like thinking like, God, they must have done like 25 takes

and Linda Park had to like remember that she was standing that way. -♪ HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HA Really enjoyed the physical acting of this episode. Yeah, I sure did as well. God damn, Jimmy Ortega, you will get a cramp in your hand scrolling down his IMDB, all of them stunts, except for Babylon where he's elephant wrangler. Let me just follow up with some things that I think you'll like. The Longest Yard, Man of the House, Spider-Man 2, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Friends, Collateral Damage, Ocean's Eleven, All the Pretty Horses, Martial Law, US Marshals, Out to Sea, Spawn, Mars Attacks, Major Pain, Three Ninjas, Walker Texas Ranger, Dracula, Predator 2, Naked Gun, he's done everything. Death Wish 4 colon the crackdown?

Jimmy Ortega might have the most interesting IMDB resume I've ever seen. 145 credits as a stuntman. Damn. God, he's so cool! 145 credits as a stuntman. Damn. God, he's so cool. Speed, our joint first R-rated film. So good. Faith of the fart.

We gotta talk about the next episode we're gonna watch here on the show though, Adam. Have to. It is season three, episode four. Regine, the NX01 gets closer to a showdown with the Zindi when Captain Archer takes on an enigmatic passenger, a beautiful slave named Rajeen. Hey, maybe Trip can save her. I wouldn't count on it.

Could happen though, but will a fun square save the next episode we do? In recap, Ben, for that we go to goch.biz slash game. And the game of buttholes. The will of the Riker quantum leap. It's my turn to roll. Sure is. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. I'm just rolling this hundred sided die in my hand. All right, Ben, is this a drinker or not?

What do you bet? Man, I feel like the money is on betting against, but you never know when it comes to these dice. Ben, I've rolled an 88! Tula! Did I win? Hardly. Whoa!

You know what that means. We've landed on square 29. It's a regular old episode for you and me. Okay. We could have gone anywhere. That's what makes the game so interesting. It's been argued that the game is interesting. Uh, yeah, those who believe that there's no stress

on every roll are wrong. Wrong! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Because anything could happen on any role. This time it was a Coco No No episode, which I'm feeling. And next time it's a regular old. I'm down for a regular old, you know? Looking forward to it. As I always look forward to QA-ing an episode as edited by the great Windy Pretty, who edits all this stuff and produces the show and just does a fantastic job around here. Gotta thank the Friends of

DeSoto who support all of this by going to maximumfun.org slash join and clicking our shows when they set up their support, getting access to the bonus content, you know? Yeah, The bonus episode stuff is actual stuff. Yeah. It's not just like free bullshit stuff. No. I think that should be made clear. Probably clearer than we've ever made it.

These are real episodes behind the paywall. It's way better than the prize that you get at the dentist or whatever, you know? You're getting prizes at the dentist? What kind of dentist are you going to? are you going to a van dentist Ben have you heard about my teeth lately Ben's going to a van dentist yeah using an ice skate to do extractions gotta thank Bill Tilly our Zindi wartime contigliere go slide into the DMs on the atgreatistrack social media accounts

if you'd like to send something in for a future Code 47. You'll encounter Bill. If it's a food thing, he will eat it first to make sure it's not poison. Gotta thank Rob Adler, our social media director, running those accounts, making all kinds of funny videos and posting them. I think they're worth a follow. That's the greatest trick.

Rob is so good. He's so good at that. Lucky to have him. Really classing the join up. Much thanks to our buddy Adam Ragusea who made the original parody theme music for our show and who is also the co-host of Wholesome, our secret Patreon podcast that only patrons get to listen to at patreon.com slash wholesome underscore pod. Thank you so much to everyone for listening. I think we'll be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where are all slaves beautiful generation enterprise where all slaves beautiful to a certain extent 99 beautiful slaves and one ugly one Make it so. Make it so.

Make it so. Make it so. Star Trek 11. You know what, maybe that's how we should we talk. That's how we should we t- Maybe that's how you would tell Edgier for. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network

of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.