The Greatest Generation - When You Do Time Crime, You Have To Do The Time Crime Time (DS9 S5E6)

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

When the time travel police show up to interrogate Captain Sisko, the story he tells them is full of callbacks. But when the crew goes back in time to save Captain Kirk’s life, their reverence for him becomes referential. Would you buy what The Traveler is selling? Can a banger cause moral outrage? What do you mean? It’s the episode that wants to meet everyone!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecisoto for labor.com. That's friends of Disoto for labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Today's greatest generation was recorded weeks ago, but comes out just a few days after the death of Aaron Eisenberg who played nog on DS9. Yeah, we are recording this on the Sunday night after he passed away, and we just felt

like it would not be right to put out an episode without acknowledging the great work that Aaron Eisenberg put into the world, the positive energy that he put into the world, and express our condolences to his family and friends because he went too soon. You hear all the time about how Star Trek is a family and that family is definitely hurting right now so we just want to send his friends and family all of our best. It's one of those moments that makes you realize

that you don't have any idea how much time you have and so make the most of it. That's definitely a feeling that's been expressed, right? Because he was 50, which is a terribly young. Yeah, and I think we've already talked quite a bit on this show about how much admiration we had for him as an actor. I mean, I think he kind of came onto the show as just kind of a, almost like an extra, but kind of really like came into his own as an actor over the course of

Deep Space and I into the point where I think the writers room really noticed what a powerful instrument he had and started giving him more and more to do. Yeah, you kind of made the case for himself and his character, didn't you? Yeah, and in a lot of ways became one of the emotional cores of a really great television show. Yeah. He will be missed. Not just the cast and crew of Star Trek, but a lot of fans around the world are really sad right now and I think we are too. Yeah, you can't mingle with the community and go to events and not have heard about just what

a lovely guy, Aaron Eisenberg was. Yeah, it's kind of strange because we've got, you know, probably two months' worth of episodes recorded that are in the can and unreleased. So it's hard to know like how any of that will play, but we didn't want to let this moment pass without acknowledging what a great dude Aaron Eisenberg was and what a tragedy is that he's gone. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation Deep Space 9.

It's a Star Trek podcast about Deep Space 9 from a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranico. What's the show about again? Embarrassment. Hmm. It is.

I think top line embarrassment and then like you go down one bullet point and indent one space, start track. Really, that's a real like slide read take on what we do. I mean, if we were going to just have like an image, an image that were to tell the story of the greatest generation. What do you think that would be? I don't know. Us scrambling to turn off the podcast when our wives walk in on us, recording it.

I'll give you a hint. It's the image I just sent you, which was my driveway and two drains into my sewer line. That feels like us, right? Two drains into a sewer. Yeah. That's you and me. It us.

And, you know, aspirationally, we want digital sunglasses to be descending on those two drains. And then the text deal with it popping up. Yeah. I mean, that's how you make it funny. Yeah, I had a bad bit moment yesterday. Oh, really?

Yeah, do you want to do our beloved segment? All I do is bits. Bits, bits, bits. You're always doing bits, seeits, bits. Oh, that dude with bits, bits, bits. No matter what, you're always doing bits, bits, bits. No matter what, you're always doing bits, bits, bits. I was doing bits. Bad bit moment. Bad bit moment.

I don't think I have one, but I sure would like to hear yours. So, I, as you know, have terrible skin. Skin is really the bane of my existence. Yeah. You know, recently my wife got us new insurance, so our insurance changed, and every time insurance changes, I try and see a dermatologist because there's always just fun, all kinds of fun shit going on with my skin. But one thing that has been bothering me since I was in college

Is a little little patch of skin like just above my knee on my thigh, but on the back Always a little bit itchy. It's the part of your leg that your dick touches, right? I wish my dick got down there That would be great. That's where I measure from. I measure from the back of my knee. Upwards. Hahaha. Hahaha. And this is not eczema or psoriasis. It's not a tag.

It's like four or five square inches of just slightly itchy skin. 13 inches of tough load, I don't treat you gently. Oh, it's not something you can sink a pin into. No, and it's not something you can even see. There's not like a rash or anything, but this dermatologist I've been going to see, she had an x-ray down of my spine to see if there was like a nerve being pinched or something.

That sounds excessive. I know. Like you get a spinal tap for a rash. What kind of doctor are you going to? Hey everybody! Hi Dr. Hitch! She sends me to a neurologist then. And I went to the neurologist and he did like a pretty lengthy battery of tests on me. Mostly to do with my balance, to see if he could detect any neuropathy that might be leading to this. When you went to the office for the first time and you were given the new patient ingestion

forms, did you ask for extra blank pages and what were like? I just got insurance, so I'll be having the everything you do. Yeah, the pent-up demands form. I don't know, I've never had an MRI, what's that like? I mean, it has been floated as a possibility in the investigation of this ailment. So I saw the neurologist, he was like a weird older gentleman and he ran a series of tests

on me and then just kind of, you know, it was like, I don't think this is neurological. I think your dermatologist is wrong and you got a bum steer. Throwing some shade. So the dermatologist then I had a follow up with because she needed to like make a determination based on whatever the neurologist decided and She's like opening up my my file and I'm looking I'm watching her just mess around on the iPad and she goes whoa It's not something you love hearing in a doctor's office. And I said, what's up?

And she said, nothing, it's just that he sent a real hell of a document here. And she turns the iPad around and shows me. And what he wrote when he was meeting with me was like every thought that he had, both things that he spoke out loud and also things that he thought in his in his mind He rode out in like extremely ornate longhand cursive. What? Had you noticed he was doing this when he was with you? I mean, I could see that he was writing, but I didn't see what it looked like. And when she turned it around it was like

super aspirational level of cursive that he writes in. And I go, boy, I got a real declaration of independent situation here. Is this John Hancock on the bottom of that? And then dermatologist goes, what do you mean? All I do is bits, bits, bits. No matter what. Wow. How do you make a reference more broad than that? I know.

I didn't know the answer to what do you mean. That's how Adelauc I was that that didn't go over. What did you do? I think I just played it off like I don't know. Just goofing around. Like one of those, don't pay any attention to me. Wow. That's the fallacy, right? Is that like you start to tell yourself that you're worth paying attention to and you're not. People tell me that all the time. I wonder if your dermatologist wasn't

doing that thing where a person is reading and you're saying something and they don't pay attention. And then clearly, like, your body language is expecting a reaction to a thing that you said and she's like, oh shit, I wasn't listening. I'll say this, if I happen to be distracted while having a conversation with somebody like my wife. And I realized like, oh shit, like I need to snap back into attention. I didn't register the last few lines that she said.

What do you mean is sort of a great reply? Because it's asking for more information, but not admitting that you weren't listening. Yeah, but it also kind of had the tone of like, a pretty girl in high school, saying that to you in terms of like, I can tell that you think you're funny, but I am here to tell you that you're not funny, you know? The typing into her iPad intensifies after this moment.

Like, I now believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that Benjamin's problem is neurological. Ha, ha, ha. Did you tell the Durham that the other doc said that they were wrong? Like, did you straight up say it? Wow. No, I mean, it was in the report.

It wasn't, she didn't send me to this guy saying, you have a neurological disease and need to go see this guy. She said, your X-ray came back normal. There's nothing obviously, you know, pinching any nerves, but I'll send you to the neurologist and see if any further investigation is warranted. So he's basically saying he thinks she's barking up the wrong tree in terms of diagnosing what's going on here. So like, I've never gotten a satisfying answer and like the idea that like, there might be a specialist that can actually do something about this has been very enticing to me. Do you think it has anything to do with the piece of media, right?

You keep in the pocket of your cargo shorts. I mean, I'm just spitballing here. Yeah, it's just lightly irradiated at all times. Yeah. Wow, so the mystery continues, huh? Yeah. Just another disappointing skin thing for me. Medical stress is the most purely American stress there is, right?

It's fantastic. Yeah. I love it. I love it too. Speaking of unique, Ben, I don't think we will ever see an episode like the one we're about to discuss today. Yeah, this is a special episode. Can't wait to get into it with you. So why don't we put into the MRI machine

Deep Space 9 season 5 episode 5 trials and Tribulations No, of course you don't this is a story that they thought to do around the 30th anniversary of Star Trek, the 30th anniversary more than 20 years ago. Wow, crazy to think about. Yeah. This episode opens with the arrival of a couple of no-nonsense gentlemen from the Department of Temporal Investigations. I'm Dahmer.

Luxley. And clear if that's a Federation Department, an Earth Department, a Starfleet Department. They walk around like they are flashing mental badges. Yeah. Everyone knows who they are. Except for they have no badges. That's what I'm saying.

Like they carry themselves as if they have them. It's as though they don't need no st no badges. That's what I'm saying, like they carry themselves as if they have them. It's as though they don't need no stinking badges. They are deeply serious about their job. Yeah. The kind of serious that gets mocked by others. They keep saying like we were not big fans of jokes, but then they're kind of doing bits a little bit. Like they definitely have a stick. Right, there's no one's asking him what they mean. Right. At least people are game for their little thing.

Right. Go back to the beginning if there is such a thing. That's a little crack. That's something somebody that doesn't like jokes would say. Right. That's someone who isn't listening, would say. There's a visual language in this episode that is obvious later, but more subtle here, which is you're putting serious people who have a serious job into serious costumes. And by that I mean these guys are just wearing gray cloaks. There's nothing about them that stands out. It's all like a pinstripe wool that you would see in just kind of like a drab business suit. But it's kind of a starfleet era set

of garments. It's like a jacket over a vest over a shirt, but all in the same fabric. Right. Very serious men. Ruddy faced as well. They apparently are only hiring Ruddy faced white guys at the department of temporal investigations. The one guy looks like Clancy Brown to me, taller yeah, and I thought for sure it was him I had to look it up. He's got to get that a lot right right there definitely Clancy Brown types Do you think that these guys when they show up to auditions also see Clancy Brown at those auditions? Yeah, it's like he's gonna get it. Yeah, but yeah, they they're here to investigate a a time crime and they're not a time crime, but like an incident where

some star fleets did some time traveling and you know what they say about time crime, Ben, when you do the time crime, you have to do the time crime time. Eugene Merman did. Oh. Back in the like is YouTube gonna be a thing, days? Uh-huh. I think it was on super deluxe. It was like a talk show. And Eugene Merman was the talk show host, but it took place in space. And one of them opened with like,

hey, welcome back to the show. Today on the show, of course, we're celebrating the hundredth anniversary of the invention of time travel. Or is it we We can never know. Time jokes are the greatest. Yeah. And that's why these guys are so uninterested in such humor. They've heard it all before, or have they?

Oh, shit. But yeah, the little D went back in time and it's sort of a Cisco retelling the story of how it structure of episode. Yeah. They show the ship in orbit of Cardassia where they are picking up the orb of inconvenient time travel

that the Cardassians are like repatriating to Bejure. That's pretty nice of them, right? Yeah, it's kind of just like spontaneously, the cardacians decided to do the right thing on some subject. You can't trust unmotivated nice from the cardacians, can you? No, I wonder if this armed-durven character is somebody that the Cardassians knew... knew who he was. I think so.

Because here's the thing. There's this guy Barry. This is Mr. Waddle. Call me Barry. It comes up with the uh at the orb, he's human. Comes into the mess hall, makes a big deal about how great it is to be back among humans. You know, drags warful a little bit for being smelly, I guess. He says some kind of like offhand racist stuff. Oh, sorry.

You know? Yeah, but it turns out he can say it because he is. Right. It's one of those moments though where like everybody in this scene thinks he is a human. And Bashir and O'Brien are sitting there like hearing him say racist stuff in Worf's presence. And they instead of speaking up and scolding Barry, they like they play it off and kind of like tell Wharf, like, I don't, don't worry about him. He's kind of setting his ways, you know. He should just throw around the word Patakalat.

He's pretty uncomfortable. It's from a different time, you know. His story is super interesting to me. It's sort of like the guy who stayed on the volcano as it was about to explode. His story is he was left behind before they clinging on in Cardassian war popped off. Right. He's a dealer in gemstones, which his interesting reverberations later in the story, but he's going to be taking a ride back to deep space nine with them.

And so they set off and they're under cloak and suddenly there's a banger. It's a temporal banger. What do we know about chronotone particles? Commander Raiker can tell us. But creating a temporal vortex to time travel. And this temporal banger does a lot of things at once. It takes the antenna off of the top of the little D

and then throws it into the bushes. Because their view screen is fucked, their sensors are off, they've decloaked, and someone has activated the transporter. It's just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I was really impressed with the level of chill that Cisco maintains amidst all of this, because they know that something

like pretty messed up is going on. And he's like lean back in his chair with his fingers crossed. He might as well be like sipping some of his captain's soup. The only way you flap Cisco is to, like there's nothing unjust happening here. The way you get him loud and angry is putting him in a position to witness an unjust action. Yeah, he doesn't get morally outraged at a banger.

Right, right. But when they get the tracking back on the view screen, there is a ship right in front of them. They're still under cloak, so invisible to the ship, but it is none of a, then the entrepreneur, no bloody A, B, C, or D.

Looks pretty great too, right? Yeah. Is this the CG redo of the entrepreneur from the HDTOS? There are pages and pages and pages of production notes about this episode. And they made a new model of the OG entrepreneur for this episode.

Wow. And they spent so much time on it. I believe it. They kind of operated from a position of paranoia because from what I read, they were afraid of super nerds scrutinizing their model and finding a mistake and they didn't want that to happen.

So they, I mean, what a weird fear to have. Yeah, what is? As custodians of a franchise, or a sci-fi franchise, right? Right, I mean, I wouldn't know what that's like at all. But I think there's a, that right there is the reason why things look so great in this episode.

And it starts with the model work and all of these sets were built for the episode. It is pretty fucking great and pretty seamless. There's got to be a cost case to be made for making a new model also, right? Like, hey, if we make a new model, we can put it in the Aaron Space Museum, etc. etc. Yeah, you're going to get extended value out of it. But I mean, you know, this is the same studio that threw the Enterprise D bridge into a dumpster. Right.

After Star Trek generations. So, I mean, I guess in certain circumstances, they could see future value from this stuff, but not in other cases. I don't know. I don't know how they make these decisions. I mean, like, I remember going to a science museum when I was a kid and seeing like the art of Star Wars exhibit and they're just being like everything from when they made the first Star Wars was like in a glass case on display.

And like, I don't understand why like, it's so hard to predict. It will be worth saving. There's probably not an area of this exhibit that had any of the dialogue from the Star Wars movies in it. Like, that's just an empty room. I don't like sounds. There's nothing to see or appreciate there. You're saying that's not one of the artistic parts of Star Wars. Exactly.

It's a good thing I'm here to decode your jokes. What do you mean? Gold to cotton, the cup, gold to cotton. So. But yeah, so they've traveled back in time, Adam. They need to figure out what happened and so they convene a McLaughlin group. Is your want?

Borf is the presenter. What he presents to the assembled gathering there is that the orb has been stolen by their passenger, who they now believe to be Arn Darwin. His real name is Arn Darwin. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ He's a Klingon altar to Lecumen. He is the first ash- ash Tyler in Star Trek history.

Whoa. If you haven't seen Star Trek Discovery, you don't even know what that means, man. Yeah, he's a Klingon made to look like a human, which back in original series days wasn't that hard. I think you just rub the black face off of them and then that's what you can't. You rub the problematic darkening makeup. Yeah. So the story that they tell is that Arndarvan attempted to sabotage a federation colonization effort and failed, and it was then kind of excommunicated by Klingon intelligence, like they sort of, they sort of did that thing where they disavow

all knowledge, like mission impossible always threatens to. But the issue is that this new armed Darwin from their time is now, has transported himself off the little D, so they need to go find him. And... It's funny that in the future, capitalism is punishment, because this guy was sentenced to a life of being a merchant, something that rubbed him the wrong way as a Klingon.

I've got a hot take at him. Yeah? In the present, capitalism is also punishment. Well said. They're worried that he's gonna go meet up with his younger self and prevent the moment in history that caused his life to go to shit. I love this.

This is an example, I think, of real life wagging a script dog, because they got Charlie Stanford Brill to reprise his role as Aaron Darwin. And he's the same guy who played the same role in the trouble with Trouble's episode. Yeah. And when they were workshopping what to do for this 30th anniversary episode,

like the creators got together and were like, just spitballing shit. And Ira Steven Bayer was like in some fucking restaurant with a couple of guys. And he took his mouth out of the ass of a member of the Blue Man group and said, and said, is that Charlie Stanford Brill, like, dining with his wife a couple tables over? Like,

that's why his, uh, his goatee is blue. He clocked him in public. Wow. And was like, and like, and was like, maybe, maybe you'd want to do Star Trek again and totally solicited him into doing this. And that's how, I think that's the core of how this whole episode came together. Like you start with him and his availability. Was Charlie Brill like were you just eating ass and specifically eating the ass of a member of the Blue Man group?

Hence having a blue goatee. How much Pepto Bismaldi you have to chug to make your poop blue? That is a lot of poop dough. Yeah. We ever had like cool-aid turn your poop green? No. That's a phenomenon. Is it?

Do you have to drink green cool-aid or any cool-aid will do? I think I had red cool-aid turn my poop like bright green. Like a green that does not look like it should be biological in origin. You get some friends to check it out? Well, I've, so... It had to flesh it down, right? This was on a backpacking trip and we all had this coolade and then like, and then like around the campfire, we were like, hey, uh, so when I pooped today and everybody was like

exchanging notes on their turds and it was like, wow wow it happened to all of us must have been the cool aid Yeah to bury it though, right? Yeah, I'm to free it from trailer stream gotta do that six inches underground minimum Boy camping sounds fun Anyway Anyway, past Darwin fucked up by getting caught. And so what future Darwin wants to do is prevent past Darwin from getting caught. He wants to extricate himself from this timeline. You know, an ounce of prevention?

Pound a cure. And this is exactly why Cisco, like Cisco does not want to get a visit from the Department of Temporal Investigations. What you don't want is your time travel poop being so close to the timeline. Yeah, that's what's happening here. You don't want the poop to dispoil the time stream. Exactly.

Cisco really just doesn't want to deal with the paperwork. So, yeah, whether it's to ply or whatever, he orders the crew to prepare a mission whereby they will find our endarven and prevent him from changing the timeline. And so, we get a great Tim Burton Batman getting ready sequence, showing all of the little items as they as they suit up and most of the crew gets into some cool TOS era uniforms.

Looks good in you sir. I was wondering if they ever thought about including Garek in this. Oh In the garment play, you know, oh in this. Oh. In the garment play, you know? Oh, like if he was tagging along for some reason, he got to like fit them for their uniforms. Yeah, I just feel like he would have to be involved, right? Or do you just get it out of a replicator? Yeah, maybe you can just walk up to a replicator and say like circa 2306 uniform for a lieutenant and it spits it right out. Yeah. So what they find out is that Arn has beamed over to either the space station or the old entrepreneur. And so they've got to like split the away team. Some of them going to the space station K7, Cisco DAX and Bashir going to the old entrepreneur.

And Obrite. Right. And so it's it's warfin' auto that goes to the space station and the argument has made that the space station is a real teeny tiny little operation. It looks big from the outside but that's all storage and there's really not that many people living aboard it. So Warfin' Odo get into like the cargo-eased of cargo jackets and they beam over to the station and in their Starfleet regalia, Dax Bessier, O'Brien and Cisco beam over to the

entrepreneur and they're kind of like working their way inward. They beam to either end of the ship and start to eliminate candidates for our endervinness. These pockets are like a decap on an auto, right? Like you can't use pockets this big. Yeah, this is like pockets big enough to put like a 15 inch laptop on your chest. You could carry four gallons of milk on the front

of Odo's Tunic. It's absurd. It's just got like a straw coming out of each breast pocket. Yeah. And this is the first scene in the episode where the magic starts to happen, right? Like the idea of them occupying the same space of characters like Aherura and Chekov.

Yeah, it beam over, we get like a crowded entrepreneur hallway, which is very like, you know, the couple of episodes of TOS that we've watched for greatest discovery. Like it is always remarkable how many, like how many people are like weaving in and out in the hallway because there's so many people that it's like, you can't like walk around looking at your phone on TOS.

You know what? Really stuck out to me in the scenes of groups. Like, there are scenes of a lot of people that are clearly comps, and then there are others that are clearly recreated sets with modern actors inhabiting them. I think you can tell the difference between how people walk in the 60s show versus the people walking around that are modern actors. I really think you can tell.

I think you can too. It's a very subtle critique because for the most part, this is totally fucking seamless. But modern people do carry themselves a little bit differently. Yeah. And that's such a weird, like why? What changed? I don't know, but you can tell. Like the way our shoes are manufactured or something? Yeah, up until a little while ago, they were making shoes that could fit on either

foot. One element of this, the DAX comments on out loud, is that the women, women were far less in this era, and perhaps a certain posture is necessary to maintain the nearest shroud of modesty. Right. Odo and Worf begin their investigation and the place that I would probably choose. They're over at the bar, the station bar. Yeah. And they see a guy named Serino Jones interact with the bartender there

and he brandishes a triple. And this is a hurrah wife reacts here to the cute furry thing in a very fun way. May I hold it? Yeah, all of these scenes are like, you kind of, it's a fun puzzle watching them, right? Like, you know, there's a close-up of Odo and somebody walks right in front of him. Yeah. And that's a body double of Che-off in a horror and then you cut to

Shot from TOS with Odo kind of in the in the background comped in they went so far as to like change what film stock They shoot the show on to make it cut easier with the old stuff. Wow. That's great. They really went hard Production-wise. It's pretty flawless. Like occasionally there are shots that have, you know, it's like a wide shot of the bridge and like Kirk is in it and Dax is in it and she's like walking around and you totally believe that she's walking around in the same room as him, you know.

Like they're not like, like down to like the motion tracking of shots where, you know, people's feet aren't floating around on the floor because they couldn't get it exact. They got it exact, every shot, pretty much. Forest Gump was 94, right? This is 96. I just feel like for a long time Forest Gump was the measuring stick for like cops of this

kind. And in only two years, it got so much better than Forrest Gump. And Forrest Gump looks like trash compared to this. Yeah, we recorded a Forrest Gump episode of a friendly fire and we're totally blown away at how badly those effects hold up. And it's amazing that these effects hold up perfectly. They really do.

Come to Forrest Gump. Come to Forrest. Come to Forrest. Come to Forrest. Come to Forrest. Come to Forrest. Come to Forrest. perfectly. They really do. So that introduces the triple to the environment. Yeah. And also I think sets the tone for fun, because from here we crosscut between the Odo and Wharf mission and the Bashir and O'Brien part of the mission, where Bashir, I mean, I don't think that we can let it,

his hair is a disaster in this episode, I think. I think. It looks like they tried to go for a Caesar and then bailed out at the last minute. It's like they didn't want to cut it, but they did want it to be more 60s. He looks like Seinfeld in that episode where they lowered the water pressure of his apartment. You know? Yeah. I mean, Brian's not looking great either, right, with all the like, bril cream in his

hair to try and force a curly-haired man's hair into a straight-haired man's style. I would say that like of everyone, these two are the weirdest looking in the transition, you know? I wonder if they paired him up for that reason, like. They're visually very funny. Yes. They have a great scene with a random crew person. And it's a fun interaction

because it demonstrates some quick improvisational thinking by Bashir especially. They've definitely taken like 201 at UCB when this guy kind of, he walks up and he's like, Scottie told me to do this. You know, like, uh, but, but, but, what? O'Brien's like, I'm a shopkeeper. How can I help you? I'm just finishing up this soup, stir, stir, stir. But she really saves the day here, he's great. The job pressure's been getting to him. Why don't you take over?

Yeah. And the way he plays it off is that he's doing some medical study of stress among people in the workforce and that O'Brien is just real, real stressed. So maybe this other ensign should take over where he left off. I think Bishir should continue his study of O'Brien, W. Slashar, Slash G. Stress. Like, henceforth, this should be a long-term project. I like it. In the bar, Odo and Wurf discussed tribbles, and it's clear that Wurf knows all about

these guys. Yeah, Wurf tells a story wherein the Klingon Empire attempted a triple genocide. It must have been the cutest war ever. Except like, could you imagine the smell on the Tribble Homeworld, like of all the singed hair? Oh yes, not a nice to smell. Do you think if you beam down to the Tribble planet, it's like falling all the singed hair. Oh yes, not a nice to smell. Do you think if you beam down to the triple planet, it's like falling into the dumpster

behind a place that cuts hair? Oh, she's so gross. I feel like a batlet is uniquely bad for a war like that. Yeah. Like you're probably, you know, it's like you're constantly getting tribbles just kind of like stuck on the tips of of the batlet and then you have to like reach out and pull them off and then keeps Keep swinging

What you need is a cling on flame thrower, you know one with two tips It's gonna make the smell even worse. Yeah, pretty bad. On the entrepreneur, a red alert sounds, and Dax and Cisco have to cease their scans, their hunt for Arn, and they're in the elevator when they get the idea, like, oh yeah, let's blow in a call to the little D and see if they can tell us what this red alert's all about. And there's a funny little moment where Cisco tries tapping the embroidered starfleet logo on his chest before realizing that he has to whip out his, his moto razor to blow in a call. If you like 11 out of 10 actors, feel like 11 out of 10 actors,

ham and cheese this moment up, but every Brooks does not, the snap of his fingers and like, oh yeah. Right. He seems uniquely able to do in a way that does not laugh at him funny. Yeah, I mean, like you give this moment to him for the same reason that you give the, we don't understand how to use the elevator joke to

a colony and Alexander Siddig like the, right, they, they can do that, that like, ho, of course, it's that simple and we didn't realize it like, take that is, that is such a great point. And I wonder to what degree, like you almost begin in an episode like this, breaking down the references and the jokes, and then you work on who you're gonna give them to. Like who is the most able to sell this visual gag that we're gonna play with?

There's so much about this episode that I wondered, a lot of this dog has to get wagged by the available footage. Right. Tail. Like, what scenes can we use that we can plausibly comp people into? Like, you have to watch the trouble with tribbles through and carefully mark out the scenes where, okay, like, we can build a set that looks like that.

We can get, you know, auto sitting in the background there in a set that looks like that. We can get, you know, Odo sitting in the background there, in a way that is believable. Like all of that stuff is, like, you know, there are maybe 10 or 15 shots in this episode where a contemporary DS9 character is put into 1960 Star Trek shot. Right.

And done well. Like they didn't try for ones that they couldn't quite nail at all. Like they had remarkable restraint in this. Yeah. But it makes me wonder like how the writing process were. Did they start from what clips they wanted to use? Ben, I hate to remind you of a moment in your past, but it's the raw materials, right?

Where do you get the raw materials for an episode like this? Like, without them, you don't have an episode. You just need to see what you have first. Right. It's like checking the cupboard before cooking a dinner. Back in my days in New York early after film school, I was, you know, hanging around the upright citizens brigade theater quite a bit. And I approached some sketch comics about making, like, sketch videos with them. Because I was like, I have a camera. And at the time I had a little studio in Tribeca

that I was renting out for the astonishingly low rate of $200 a month. In your defense, you had to have sex with a lot of people. And I had like a green screen stage in there. And I was like, we could shoot anything. Make your dreams come true. But we shot like a couple of sketches that required green screen.

And one of them was two pilots in a cockpit and like we shot the two pilots and then I was going to comp in the cockpit behind them and I could not find a good plate for the cockpit and it's just like I just never finished the video because I couldn't find a good enough background for it. It's like fuck like what an idiotic thing to have wasted the six hours shooting this to not be able to finish it because Like I can't Google search the right backdrop for it. Yeah, I mean that's a great comparison. That's the lesson Yeah, glad that I learned that lesson when the stakes were that low There is a through line in this entire episode like if like if you were just gonna describe what the

Motivations are for every character and you got to DAX, DAX wants to meet people. Yeah, DAX is on kind of like a tourism tip. She really is and she is totally amped at the idea that it's Colots D7. Yeah. That is approaching both the station and the ship and she wants to see him. It's not as if he would recognize me. She's on some baby boomer nostalgia. She's like so excited to be back in the 50s. Yeah and this isn't the only time she expresses feelings like this about a character in this

time frame. Like there's attention between her and Cisco and Cisco's always like raining her in. Bashir's goal in this episode is to fuck his great grandmother. You're so the way she looked at me. On the off chance that it's a time paradox. It's fucking nuts. So Brian and Bashir run into this pretty lady in the turbo lift earlier in the episode of them. They re-run into her later. And she's like, hey, you know, I'm due for a physical later. And here's exactly what time it is. Yeah, so if you want to see me with my pants off or whatever.

And Bishir, like totally unprompted after she leaves, is talking to O'Brien and he's like, I have to fuck her right. Like, if she's my great grandma, I have to do it. And O'Brien's like, why did your mind go to that? Why is that your first stop? It's insane. I mean, she clearly is hitting on him. Yeah.

But there is no reason, I mean, he understands that it may be he is great grandmother because of her last name. But there is no evidence that he must fuck her. No, I mean, I'd say that that's one of the biggest logical leaps that this episode makes. The biggest logically that this episode makes by far is that anyone would want to fuck Bashir when he has this haircut.

Gotta grow it out. Doc, I don't know, maybe knock it out so much for the next two or three weeks. Yeah. See what happens. So Brian and Bashir wind up over on Space Station K7. And they kind of walk into the bar and take some shots at Warfanoto for spending their entire mission in the bar. They're like, well, real nice assignment you guys got here.

And in the midst of this conversation, they tiptoe up to the idea that there are a lot of klingons already in the room. And you might not have realized this because the klingons of TOS do not look like klingons. This is an era in which the members of the klingon empire chose not to remain klingon. It's got no loaf, Ben. Not a bit of loaf. It's just a thin veneer of two dark foundation makeup.

Yeah. Warf has been low key embarrassed the entire time, just to be sitting at this table, sitting with Odo. Yeah. And he doesn't break this feeling at all when they clock these klingons at the bar. I thought it was pretty brave of the showrunners to leave in the take where Michael Doren makes eye contact

with the camera and just says, they're in blackface. All of the people in the scene are in blackface. It's funny. This is like, this is a Hall of Fame racism scene in Star Trek. Because on the one hand you get this, and on the other hand, you get that O'Brien is white people racist because he can't tell the difference between Kirk and any other random white guy in the bar. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, he's got about about the same haircut. What's the difference?

This also is a Hall of Fame side boob scene in Star Trek. Every waitress in this place is basically wearing ashkush bagash overall with nothing under it. Kind of deal. They cut out the scene where they pull out wide to show the name of the barn. It was dump-outs. Bar and grill. Yeah. Yeah. The amount of Hollywood tape being used in these outfits. Yeah. Pretty excessive. A Klingon starts talking shit to Scotty. The real Scotty, and he takes great umbridge with this. Oh, he sure does. And what happens is it ignites a bar fight that lasts, and I counted 90 seconds. It is bonkers. There's a lot going on in this bar fight because it was like a pretty compound

action scene. Like you can tell it's a pretty involved compound action scene in the original footage. Like there's the whole bit where Joe and Slyke is replicating drinks for himself behind the bar and walking around, knocking him back and then the bartender comes back and takes the other one. Like there's chairs flying, there's punches getting thrown, and they add another layer of that by comping in O'Brien and Bashir and Odo and

Wurf into these shots. And there's a bunch of shots where like it is like O'Brien punching a guy where clearly like they painted out somebody else punching that guy. It's really cool because it blends green, green, and real set construction. Like you can cut back and forth and pan through and foreground background a lot of this stuff.

It hangs together great. And they see, they see Arn Darwin like through a door when the bartender comes back in. It's Darwin. A great comp where he's just in the background called like, oops, gotta go. If you're Arn, you gotta stay away from the bar, right? What are you doing?

Yeah, that's not the place to be. Now, the thing that tips them off is that Odo had come into the bar and ordered a rack to genome. And the waitress has never heard of that, but it's the second time she's gotten that order today. So yeah, Odo and Worf, spot Arn, and give chase. But O'Brien and Bashir are not quite as lucky. They get the Starfleet MPs catch them.

There's a fun scene where Dax and Cisco run into Kirk and Spock. Yeah. And Dax makes it clear that she's very attracted to one of them. It goes eyes. And Cisco just assumes that it's Kirk, but it's Spock that she likes. This green uniformed Kirk era is so great.

Like it's the, it's Starfleet's version of the man and the legend era when the, when the insignia is like at the belly, pointing at the belly. Yeah. It's so fun. Yeah, but indexes mind the legend is really Spock. And that's how we see Kirk for the first time.

We see him after the bar fight when he sort of dresses down, check out like all of the assembled bar fighters are lined up. And this is another great bit of production here because O'Brien is standing in the line with everyone else. It's really well done, like Kirk casting a shadow on O'Brien and stuff. Who started the fight?

I don't know, sir. That shadow was key, wasn't it? Yeah. There's a lot about this scene that I thought was really interesting. This is not the kind of reprimand that Cisco or Picard ever had to do, where they get everybody that works for them, like standing in a line at Parade Rest and like tell them that they really fucking blew it. I can't remember that ever happening.

And I just think that's so interesting like the idea of progress being baked into this kind of moment. The future is shame-free, Ben. Yeah. I mean, but also just like the professionalism of Starfleet is so much further along. That meeting is adjourned and after the group is released, Bashirin O'Brien realized that the tribbles have multiplied and they are multiplying at an alarming rate.

They get the story from Arndarven with remarkable ease, right? It's almost like off-screen, like, Odo just kind of reporting back to Cisco, like, hey, we caught him and he gave a full confession. He glots a little bit, like, oh, you'll never be able to stop me because the bomb is in a trouble. But, yeah, but we know what the plot is. So, like, we can actually work on the problem. It's weird, it's like, it's like they're not occupying

the same logical space because he's got the confidence of a bad guy who was just succeeded in his mission. Right. And Bashir and O'Brien and Cisco, like the DS9 crew are operating from the position of being time travelers. Right. Like if only we could travel in time and stop this.

I wonder if they ever thought to use the orb multiple times. Like if they did something, they fucked it up and then had to redo it using the orb. Yeah. Like, like, Bashir fucks his great grandma, decides that that was not what he should have been doing. Yeah. And then they then they back up the tape so he doesn't. There is an implication that Dax is fucked McCoy, isn't there? I think it's more than an implication. I think she confides. She confesses that she does. He had the hands of a surgeon. Dax knew McCoy was going to be a great doctor when he brought the speculum into the bedroom.

Hahaha. So this is the part of the Trouble Trouble's episode where it starts to be just triple bits. Yeah. Like, Kirk comes in and sits down in the captain's chair and it is a triple woopy cushion. Yeah, the woopy triple bit, I mean, it's a classic. My farts don't sound anything like that. It's the same problem with the triple as it was with Arndarven to begin with, which is they need to determine whether the bomb is on the entrepreneur or the station.

Yeah. And so Cisco and DAX do a scan of the entrepreneur and eliminate that, but then they need to go search the station. And the mathematics of this problem are discussed quite a bit. There's like millions of tribbles now. One million seven hundred and seventy one thousand five hundred and sixty one. And only one trible. Trib-Lom. 1,771,561. I know only one triblem. Yes, yes, Adam, but only one triblem. They can't possibly scan these tribbles fast enough

and they should know that and yet they still do it anyway. Why? Because we've got to try, you know? Yeah. We've got to try and stop the timeline from changing. And so, Cisco and DAX wind up in one of these grain silos. And this is the grain that is going to be used in this federation colonization effort, and the triples have been feeding on it, and are basically eating themselves dead.

Because they're at one point in the silo talking about how all of these triples have eaten themselves to death. Pretty gruesome. It kind of fucks up the math though, right? Like the multiplication math only works if all of the triples are alive and reproducing. Right. But anyways, there's some fun match on action stuff where Kirk is in a hallway and he opens kind of an overhead trap door and tribbles come dumping out of it and you cut to the inside and Cisco and DAX watch Tribbles fall through that door pretty nice sequence. Yeah, and

as they scan they they figure out the which of the tribbles is the explosive one the tripl is the explosive one, the triblom, if you will. Thank you. They find the needle in the universe of needles. Was Kirk's standing under the storage compartment the first instance of like overstuffed closet in an 80s movie, like visual gag.

It is a rough gag that really doesn't stand the test of time because he definitely like leans into the, you know, like, if you are as put out as your face says, why are you like angling your body to get more under this hole? Yeah, he was really told to sell it. Yeah, really. How do you think that this triblum was going to operate?

Because when Cisco finds it, he picks it up, he moves it around before finally putting it on top of his tricorder to be beamed away, but like, how did it actually work? Like, how did Darwin expect it to kill Kirk? Was it on a timer? Maybe it's a time-tribblem. Maybe it's a proximity-tribblem, but it's Kirk's proximity, that's the issue.

Yeah, I guess that would have to be it. Yeah. So, he puts it on top of the tricorder, Kira, in one of her only scenes in the episode, beams it into space, it explodes, it blows big. Here's the thing about this scene, though, Ben. So they've been using the transporter at intervals that the old entrepreneur allows, because it centers cycle in such a way that they can use the transporter or or decloak like whenever the the sensor cycle. There's no mention of this as soon as the triblom is found and beamed away. Kirid just does it. So

she breaks the rules of the episode by by saving the day. Well, maybe she decloaks beams for three seconds and then cloaks up again. Yeah, but it's very specific moments that the old entrepreneur sensors allow for this window. It's not just every three seconds. It's a three second moment that they can predict and and use. Maybe it didn't bother me. Oh, it bothered me me big time. I'm sorry, buddy. Well, the day is saved. Arn Darwin gets nailed by Kirk as history intended. And the yo-yos from the Department of Temporal investigation are like, great, well, is that the whole story in Cisco says,

well, no, I went back for one more moment in the past before we returned to the future using the orb that Kira conveniently learned how to use. Did we have any story element to explain how the orb got recovered? By the way. Nope. Did not. They're like, for the orb being the primary motivator for this story, we rarely see it.

We don't know how it works. We only know that it does, and then we don't know where it goes. Yeah. So this last moment that he went back for though is a little check-in with the cap on the bridge of the entrepreneur. And it's Cisco just kind of expressing his admiration for one of his predecessors as a starfleet captain. Before I leave, I just want to say it's been an honor serving with you, sir.

And it's really well done. It's a touching moment. Like a touching moment to be able to construct from old footage of Shatner against new footage of Avery Brooks. There's some pretty neat photographs of how they did this and the actor that Avery Brooks replaces in the scene. It's really well done. Is it, I wondered if this was footage from the trouble with Tribbles or if they pulled it from a different episode? It's from mirror, mirror. Oh, interesting.

So they harvested footage from not just the trouble with tribbles, but from multiple episodes in order to make this one work. It's really cool and well done. Yeah. So the time police have that moment where they're like, yeah, I would have done the same thing. Curric's pretty cool. Yeah, after an earlier jag about how he's like basically

public enemy number one from their perspective, the rules never apply to Kirk in any way or in any time. Yeah, that's really true. Yeah, and it seems like these guys are basically paragons of that phenomenon. Like they considered him to be a menace, but also totally dropped that the second, the idea of admiration comes up.

Right. The time police leave through ops publicly, which gives, like, they sort of time police perp walk themselves away. Everyone lets out a big sigh of relief, and then we cut to our button, our button on the promenade. Yeah. It's just go walks down to talk to Odo. Odo is relieved that the time place did not ask about K. Not going to be set out loud. It's going to be revealed in a cut away to quark. The camera pulls out from quark at the bar and reveals that the bar is

piled high with tribbles. There are tribbles on the walls. There are tribbles on his head. There are tribbles all over the floor of the promenade. Everybody's holding a triple. Station is lousy with tribbles at him. Up to and including quark who is sort of wearing one in a Carmen Miranda fashion. Wordlessly, I think a Carmen Miranda fashion would be he has a hat and there are lots of tribbles on the hat. Yeah. Instead, he's just wearing a triple.

I would be so upset if I had to get an amaker and I had zero lines. I would be so upset if I had to get an am makeup and I had zero lines. Yeah, you really hope that they built this clip into a shoot day on a different episode where he's actually doing something. Yeah, just for his sake. Yeah. Did you like the episode Adam? Phew. There's two ways to answer it. Like, did I like the episode?

Yes, did I think it was a good episode? No. Wow. I did not. And here's why. The biggest deal in the entire episode is Department of Temporal Investigations. That there is a department,

and that these two work for it, and we know nothing about them or their work or anything. Not the first time time travel has been has come up in this series and this is the first we hear about it. It's Bakers. Cisco does not ask them anything about their jobs or how they do them, which I mean, Cisco's a curious person. I think he should have and could have asked questions to have a little a little banter or back and forth with them. I mean, I think it makes the case that he's dealt with them before or other people from their organization. What's weird is that this is the first time and the last time. We don't run into the department of temporal investigations again in Star Trek.

This is it. And that's insane to me. Yeah. Maybe they're like an artifact of a time travel loop that got closed. Here's the bigger issue though. While the episode was super enjoyable and I liked it, there's no story here. This is nostalgia instead of story. Yeah.

It's an excuse to take a museum tour, and that's fun. It makes her a fun episode, but it doesn't make for an episode per se. Like, I feel like this is what people wanted discovery to be, but there was no way it could be. Like, you know that by watching an episode like this. Right. You can't go back and live in this for eight or 16 episodes and make a series out of it. It's not sustainable.

There is an absurdity in the idea that a show from the 60s is in continuity with a show from the 90s that is exposed by this episode. Like the idea that these crappy sets from TOS are like a real spaceship Is such a hard thing to make believe in the context of the far far better sets of deep space nine I am fully willing to suspend the visual disbelief of that. I really am. I really am But there's just not enough story here. They really have to kind of write themselves into a pretzel to make it make sense. Yeah, I understand they're doing the best they could

with what they had story wise. To a certain extent, like, this is the best they could have done with one of the best TOS episodes, and most memorable that they had. Like, what else could they do? I guess the stakes just never felt dangerous in any way, ever. And maybe in that way, this episode is a success. If what you're trying to do is just make a fun,

broad episode that most people who have ever watched Star Trek could enjoy. Successful in that way. I think that's what they set out to do. It's just a, it wouldn't be weird if, like it's like a sideline comic series of what if the X-Men meant the crew of the Enterprise D or whatever.

Yeah. It's not meant to push the canon forward or anything. It's just for funsies, it's a little 30th anniversary tribute. Yeah, it's an anniversary bottle, huh? Yeah, I like it. Yeah. I do too. I'm not, I'm not saying that I didn't. I had to rewind several times to like wrap my mind around the story, for sure. Right. That's because the

story is entirely exposition. There's no like emotional stakes. There's no character change of any kind. It is just characters from one show walking through scenes of another show and remarking on it and explaining how they got there and how they're getting out of there. I wonder how much of this has to do with Darwin because you know out of one side of my mouth I was praising the idea of getting the actor back to do this. So you remember in a matter of time in TNG the actor back to do this. So you remember in a matter of time in TNG, when Matt Fruer's character was in, like, his plan had failed, you reached an emotional climax with him.

This is the con man from the future episode of TNG. But Darwin is so flat throughout this episode that I think that was the thing maybe that primarily prevented me from feeling like there were any stakes. Yeah, they didn't give them a lot to do. Yeah, they really didn't. He didn't have a lot to do in the original episode, I think. No, and maybe by increasing the stakes you make it less fun, there's like a potion pole

to these elements. It's interesting to talk all the stuff out. It's making more sense the more we do. Yeah. I think we'll talk about it a little bit more on the next episode of our other podcast, the greatest discovery, because we're going to be revisiting the trouble with troubles on that, right? That's right. So go listen to that after you listen to this. And let's go check out priority one messages. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement, okay. Let's go check out priority one messages.

Add a couple of priority one messages here. The first one is from the JS Guild trademark. It's for Andrew, WHO. Goes like this. Congratulations, dad. My year child turned out to be more like Lall than Wesley, the boy. Kids grow up fast, though not as fast as Troy's son.

Enjoy your time at home together. We'll see you back on the bridge. Ah, that's very sweet, except for Lall dies early. Enjoy your time at home together. We'll see you back on the bridge. Oh! It's very sweet, except for Lyle dies early. Oh! It's terrible! Yeah. At least, at least Wesley turns into like a being of pure light or something.

Hey, we don't know that. I mean, he turned into that being, but what happened after? Who knows? He's like a traveler type now. Yeah. I guess if your son turns into a traveler, that probably means you're not really in touch with them any further, and that would be sad. If you were offered the chance to become a traveler person, but the cost was lobster hands.

Hahaha. Would you take the traveler up on that deal? Yeah, I mean, what am I using my hands for? I don't know, man. I do all my typing with my thumbs, Adam. I'm on that smartphone. All I'm saying is that it wouldn't be an immediate yes. I'd rather have lobster hands than be loud.

I'm not trying to drag the JS Guild TM for what they're saying here. I think it's a well-intentioned, nice message. I'm not trying to drag anyone either. I'm trying to drag the traveler. Yeah. I can see that you have a strong anti-traveler bias. Yeah. Very ugly. Ben, our second priority one message is from, I'm Gauron Burgundy. And the message is for J.L. Pipes and Crew.

Hey, we know these guys. Yeah. Message goes like this. You know, I'm not trying to drag anyone either. I'm trying to drag the traveler. Yeah. I can seeail, Pipes, and Crew, hey we know these guys. Yeah. Message goes like this. You guys are the best FOD fleet in timelines.

Can you believe? Captain to the Uxbridge is telling the other fleets that our admiral hip hop and flops are his five drop bear stacked on top of each other in a trench coat. They are without honor, and their star-based smells of cabbage. Wow, I Did that line read in that way where I just turned off my brain And I was like I'm reading these words in the order that they're there. I don't know what they mean

It's a warm-hunted bosom level of impenetrable. It is. It is. Star Trek timelines. Have yet to play that. Maybe there's a twitch stream in your future. Could be. What there is in our future every week, our priority one message has been. Yeah, so if you would like to leave one, head to maxwimfun.org slash jembo-tron. It's a hundred bucks for a personal message and two hundred for a commercial message. We really appreciate it because it's helping us to afford to make this show. Hey Adam. It's that Ben. Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?

Drunk Shimoda! I'm going to be brief. If you unsolicited, just put out into the world that you think it would be a good idea to fuck your great grandma. That makes you a drunk Shemota. And so my drunk Shemota is Dr. Bashir. Adam, I'm going to be brief. Many episodes end on a slide whistle, but very few characters are a slide whistle.

But in this episode, one character is... that is quirk. Hmm. Indeed, he's wearing that triple hat A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay to to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it!

The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatisGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatisGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.

We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Naswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which

is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps already open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goat try. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, Russ. Hey, baby. Oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out.

I hate having to stand in line. And boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they have such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this argument. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain. It's about to destroy humanity.

Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah about terrain, it's about to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality,

claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? O'Neil Ross and Kerry, available on MaximumFun and Outdoor. Go to Go To Go To That Gold Press Lab.

Go To That Gold Press Lab. The Black Love, the Black Love, the Black Love, the Black Love. Go To That Gold Press Lab. Go To That Yamaxes. Ben, what are we watching on the next episode? Next episode is, well, in addition to the episode of the greatest discovery we already mentioned, next episode of this show, season five episode seven, let he is, let he who is without sin. is without sin. Well, vacationing on the planet Rysa, uh-oh, or falls under the influence of a traditionalist

group bent on destroying the pleasure paradise. Oh, boo! Yeah, get these fucking puritons out of my fuck fantasy. It's now where they belong. Yeah, get them out of here. Fuck fantasy. It's not where they belong. Yeah, get him out of here. I mean unless your thing is fucking Puritans, it could be I guess. Only with enthusiastic consent at him.

Right. Wow, well, uh, what do you say we see how we're going to watch that episode? Adam, I, uh, suddenly have a hankering to play some games, specifically the Game of Buttholes, the Will of the Profits. So I'm heading over to gach.bizslashgame. Alright. Where we keep the wheel of fate that determines how our next episode will be performed.

You're required to learn as you play, Role. And I'm going to go ahead and say this. Whatever we land on is going to be true, not just for the next episode of the greatest generation, but also for the next episode of the greatest discovery. What? Because we're going to be reviewing, I think they're both the next episode after this episode. Alright.

So the stakes aren't that high, but we could land on the naked now, so we would have to record two episodes from the bathtub. Stube in. Danger ahead. Danger behind. Yeah. I'm stuck in this podcast with you. We can also land on that banger. So I'm going to go ahead and danger behind. I'm stuck in this podcast with you. We can also land on that banger.

So I'm gonna go ahead and roll it. Oh my goodness, I think we hit the banger because we are now back on Squared 19. Shula! Did I win? Harvey. Shoot. We're going backwards, Ben, on this board.

Yeah. We have not made a ton of progress on this board lately. No. But I played an old episode, a good old episode, right? on this board. Yeah. We have not made a ton of progress on this board lately. No. But a plain old episode, a good old episode, right? The best kind. Yeah. We're gonna have fun.

Did you know that you are currently viewing the Best Star Trek Podcast? Wow. It's true, fuck. There's only one way a show like this is possible. Let's do the support of our many viewers. That's true Adam, people who would like to support the show may do so, monetarily by going to MaximumFun.org slash donate and setting up a recurring monthly donation. But think it also do so, by just leaving a nice review on Apple Podcast or whatever podcast software they use.

I think is it Stitcher that I saw that we only have one review on? What? Yeah, there's like a couple of podcasts, podcatcher apps out there that we have very few reviews on. So if you use Stitcher or Spotify or any of those, go ahead and get a review in there. I think we could really use it on some of the non-Apple Podcast platforms. Wow. Really under-achieving in a couple of areas. Yeah. Why are you letting the Apple users rack up 2700 reviews or whatever when you're

on some other platform leaving zero reviews. The people who hate Apple products and software have got a ton of energy. They're incredibly vocal whenever the concept of Apple podcast is mentioned on the internet they're in that comment section going, fuck Apple or whatever. Like turn your crankiness into something positive. Exactly. Geez. Yeah. Jeez. Yeah, it's perfectly fine as far as I can tell.

You seem to be very angry at it. Maybe let that anger blossom into something beautiful. Something positive. That sounds nice. It would be great. Great weekend and week out are the collectible joke trading cards made by Bill Tilly. You'll find those on Twitter. Bill Twyly, 1973.

Bill Twyly is of course the Twitter account that makes garments. Out of every episode we do yeah Nice nice wicking jokes Adam is on Twitter at cut for time. I'm on their at Benjamin a. H. R Everybody uses the hashtag greatest Jen to talk about the show There's also a wakia. There's a reddit sub, there are Facebook groups, all kinds of places to meet up with the friends of DeSoto online and joke around and have a blast. Music's by Adam Ragusia and Dark Materia.

Thanks to our buddy Nick Dittvarr for making the great new artwork on the show. Yeah, pretty slick stuff. I look forward to seeing that airbrushed on the side of a van. And with that, we'll be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek Deep Space 9 in an episode of the greatest generation Deep Space 9, which has its Horgon displayed prominently. You'll get to, you'll be caught up in you. You'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll get to, you'll, you'll get to, you'll get to, you