The Greatest Generation - You’ll Know We’ve Reached the Bottom (S6E20)

Episode Date: June 14, 2017

When Picard’s archaeology mentor comes aboard bearing gifts, it gives him a bad case of career FOMO. And when the professor wraps his Previa around a tree, the captain feels compelled to use it as an excuse to avoid a potentially perilous conference. Is TNG the secret source of contemporary baby names? Did that Cardassian bridge go up someone’s nose? Why didn’t they ever explain why that ship asplode? Can we get through a plot about the theory of panspermia without making puerile jokes? It’s the episode where Adam really commits to his tentacle fetish.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast. And your hosts are a couple of guys who are embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast.

I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica. How you doing, Adam? I just received a text from my wife. And I've got sort of a crazy story to tell. Do you have time for a crazy story? I love a crazy story. So I was in LA last week. My wife and I were in LA last week. She being there for work, me being there for food.

And I love going to LA. I think this is a feeling I've expressed to you many times. I love eating and drinking there. I think it's super fun. I probably love it because I don't live there. My wife and I whenever we go have a great time. Stay for like three or four days and then we're out. She's mostly there for work, so we like do fun night time things there. We've done a couple's vacation there. My wife and your wife and you and me and we had a splendid time. Just gobbling up all that Korean barbecue. Really great. This trip began like so many others. Great trip. Great eating and drinking, great hotel, love it. But on the last day we were there. My wife and I ended up going separate ways. I ended up taking a meeting with good friend of ours, friend of the pod, Adam Lysigor over at

Sandwich Video. And I was over there having coffee with him while my wife was enjoying an impossible burger. The burger, the meatless burger that is made of like vegetable protein, but still bleeds. I thought only women bleed. Your burger? Yeah. It's a real cranky burger. So my wife and I... I don't think that's what that song's about, Adam. burger. So my wife and I are enjoying a great last day in L.A. I'll be it

separately. And I get a I get a text while I'm hanging with Lysigore that says, oh my God, rental car was broken into. Everything was stolen. What? And I was like, oh no. Like totally destroyed by the idea that my wife was there for work and what was stolen was her work shit. Like she had a bag in the car with workplace laptop, workplace paperwork, workplace things. Man, yeah, like me. Along with like her personal effects, her iPad and stuff like that.

The process of reporting that stuff to your job has got to just be such a miserable situation. Yeah. And so, she's in the fashion district, blocks away from Skid Row, having to write a police report for things that she knows will never be recovered. Like, this is a police officer interaction wherein the officer side of things are not going to be working in shifts to recover the credence tapes. Like, like, the stuff is as good as gone and she knows it and it's just awful. Let me ask you this, Adam, did she find social studies homework wedged into the seat cushions? There was no social studies homework to be found. Oh, so I mean, it's a total wipeout. I had

my bag on me. Otherwise, my ass shit would have been in the car just as easily. So we get to the airport and I meet my wife there and she is as sad as one can appropriately be about being the victim of thevery and not only was her work stuff stolen but a co-workers work stuff was stolen too. Because she was traveling with work people and it was her work stuff stolen, but a co-workers' work stuff was stolen too, because she was traveling with work people. And it was her idea to go get this impossible burger, and so she's feeling bad on a couple of levels, like her feeling of responsibility that put them in that circumstance, her feeling of like, well, yeah, I shouldn't have left shit in the car. That's not great.

That's not a great look. And also like the A story of the Thevery, which is valuable stuff that got stolen that she's now gonna have to deal with replacing. So that was a week ago. Today, she texted me and says, the stuff has been recovered. I need to go back down to LA to get it. What?

Yeah. The most unlikely conclusion to this story is the stuff was found. been recovered. I need to go back down to LA to get it. What? Yeah. The most unlikely conclusion to this story is the stuff was found. And the stuff was found, Ben. That's so wild. I would have bet any amount that none of the stuff would be seen again. I had a camera still in LA a few years ago, like one of the professional video cameras that I owned for work. And it felt like I felt like Lebowski asking the officers if there was any chance of recovering the car. Like they, you know, they basically told me that if they do recover it, a bum will

have used it as a toilet. It seems impossible to think that in a city, the size of Los Angeles, there is any hope for your effects to be recovered. Yeah. Perhaps the same chances of creating a meatless hamburger that tastes smells and eats like a standard-issue beef burger. We live in a time of miracles, Adam. I know.

So how do they work? So we left L.A. feeling like, ah, we finally got our bad L.A. moment. Like we've been coming to L.A. for... We've been to L.A. dozens of times, and we've loved it every time, and, we finally got our bad LA moment. Like, we've been coming to LA for... We've been to LA dozens of times, and we've loved it every time, and now we're leaving like, uh, we finally fucking got dinged. Like, there's our... there's real LA for you. And now, like, redemption. We can love LA again, Ben. Speaking of special missions, L.A. again, Ben. Speaking of special missions wherein you must chase down a special item. Today we have a very special episode, Ben. In the season 6, episode 20, the Shays. The entrepreneur is checking out a stellar nursery and Captain Picard gets

kelled to the observation lounge by Raker. It goes in there and the lights are all off, but his attention is immediately grabbed by a piece of garden pottery. It's sitting on the big curved table there. The Travelocity Commercial Nome. The lights come up and there's an old man there with Riker. This is Professor Gaelin who was the like superstar academic archaeologist that Picard got bitten by the archaeology bug under. And this guy is talking about Picard, like he was the star pupil, like Commander Daring

in the last episode, like if Captaining doesn't work out for Picard, he's got a career in archaeology. You call this archaeology? I feel like Star Trek is a world that's not unlike our contemporary world where every kid is named Galen and Daelin and Quailin and... Come on, there's some Aedans. Yeah, it feels like names on this show are beginning to form a pattern. Like names on this show are beginning to form a pattern. Hmm, this guy is old enough that it's possible that he was born in the early odds. I mean, maybe this show inspired a lot of that.

A lot of people watched this show. Yeah. Maybe they don't even realize what they're doing. Oh, I think they know what they're doing, Ben. So, Pistu is deaking the fuck out about this pottery. It's a relic from the third dynasty of something, something... From the workshop of the Master of Dogwin Hill. It's made by a master. It's all intact. All the little parts are there.

There's something about acting excited and knowledgeable that seems as difficult to me as acting drunk for an actor. Like I think you could so easily be a real goof about this. I think Patrick Stewart threads that needle pretty nicely. Like he's blown away by the subject, he's super knowledgeable about it, he's pumped to receive it. Yeah, and what's really, I mean, like what makes Patrick Stewart just, you know, the star that he is, is that he's able to act both like an excited expert and like he's drunk in the same scene.

Well, that may tell you something, well, raker. This is pottery from the workshop of the master of Tarquin Hill. And Becky doesn't want you coming over here anymore. Your impression of drunk Picard sounds like Louis CK. Louis CK is impression of a woman. It's pretty spot on. But the professor is not here to offer Picard his equivalent of chocolate cake. This is a this is bribery taking place. Yeah and there is there is a quality about their relationship that is almost booth B S like like Picard revures this professor in a way that I think was familiar to me at least like I think a lot of people who are fortunate enough to,

a lot of very fortunate people will have the good professor or the good teacher, like the teacher that really got to them in an amazing way. And for Picard, it is this professor who has had such an effect on him that in spite of Picard's rank and career success and success on any level, he is willing to be called Mr. Picard by him.

He is willing to be less than this person. I should say Captain. Oh, please, Mr. Will do fine. He puts this dude higher on the pyramid than he is, which is super, super unusual for a non-admoral character. You know what happens when you put people on pedestals, man. Sometimes you put them up so high you can't even get to them. Anyway, I'm gonna go down to the beach.

Is this Riker hitting on Geinen? Is that what you're doing? What's going on here? Ah, that was just a little hipster Picard. That was hippie Picard again. Hippie Picard again. Oh, you know that deep character from like three seasons ago that I did.

You did that one time. Yeah. Well, yeah, Galen is here, not just to give him this thing, but to say, like, hey man, like you walked away from what could have been a an illustrious career in archaeology, like you, you could have been like the star archaeologist of your generation and you're not.

And I'm here to offer that back to you. And the way I'm offering that is like take a leave of absence from the enterprise, come on this expedition with me. You know, we might be away for three months, we might be away for a year, but it's going to be worth it. Trust me Like this is like the thing that I am on to is a big enough find that you're not gonna regret it This is another way that they establish

The reverence that Picard has for him because Galen does not betray any of his knowledge at all to him based only on his word that the discovery is significant. That's the only thing that Picard has to go on in making this decision. It's sort of a lottery ticket at this point. I wondered why, I mean, I understand narratively why Galen won't give up the goods on what the mission is, but I don't understand why this character would keep it under his hat.

Like does he not trust Picard? Like if the implications of what he's looking into are real and like spoil or alert we find out they are. It's like a way bigger deal than any trade mission that the enterprise might have to go to. You are totally correct and this is the moment where the entire episode crashes. Like the house of cards totally falls apart here because like what Galen intends to do is basically a suicide mission. He wants to take a Previa out to do his archaeology, knowing that there are competing factions

trying to find the same stuff. Why doesn't he just tell Picard what the deal is and use the resources of the Enterprise? It's a totally stupid line of thinking for what is supposed to be a really smart man. It's a strange. The secret dies with him too if he fails. And the secret does die with him. Like they like they spend the first And the secret does die with him. Like they spend the first third of this episode

having Galen really ply Captain Picard, guilt trip him, make him think about the career he could have had, and Picard ultimately is like, Doug, I cannot walk away from the enterprise. If I leave the enterprise, I leave it for good, and you haven't given me enough to go on to make that a decision I am willing to make. And so Gail and his disappointed, but he gets in his previa and goes on his way. When I'm soaring through the neighborhood on important missions in our previa, the essential

controls are all at my fingertips, so I can perform commands with ease and still keep on course." And then like the second he has left the ship he's getting attacked by this alien attack ship. They just stress call from Professor Galen Shuttle. They like drop out of warp, warp, tags him with a little phaser fire. Warp! I didn't hit it that hard, must've had a self-destruct. The ship blows up and they beam galing aboard and he has spilled a ton of prego all over the front of his shirt.

The moment that Wurf fires on the ship and it explodes and Riker wheels around and it's like, Wurf, what the fuck? This is not the first time that Wurf has accidentally destroyed a ship. They don't ever get into why the ship accidentally usblowed, right? No, they don't. Because the one that happened before was that sick ass murdered out, you know, like space catalact that was like full of explosives essentially. It blew up because it had so much volatile cargo on it that when a phaser penetrated its shields,

it just went up like a powder keg, but this ship blows up and there's never an explanation offered for why it would have been so vulnerable. I think we're starting to see a picture of how exceptionally the crew treats Wurf and also data being the only crew people of their kind and type on the ship. They can get away with so much unpunished. Wurf's going off on Rambo missions,

data stealing the ship whenever he wants. They're never punished for these things. Yeah. They play by a different set of rules. on Rambo missions, data stealing the ship whenever he wants. They're never punished for these things. Yeah. They play by a different set of rules. Rules that I hope we will one day read about in the Bible. I don't know that poor writing is canonical star trek. So much as accidental Star Trek.

Galen has a deathbed confession to Picard that he was a bit of a dick before he left. Sorry for being such a dick. That was super weak, man. And they sort of like, give each other the rock and then, and then he's dead. Yeah. And then the blanket that he was lying under slowly collapses as he fades out of existence. When 900 years old you reach, look as good you are not. Picard decides that they're going to not go do their mission because they have this, they have like a McLaughlin group.

If you want. And Jordy and Data have downloaded the computer from the Previa that was attacked by the alien ship and they're like, yeah, we got a lot of pieces here. And there's all these like crazy numbers. We don't really know what they mean, but it's clear that Galen was like trying to protect this information. And the aliens that attacked him are not really aggressive, but they are known as information dealers.

So they wanted something he had. And that's enough for Picard to say, like, well, let's figure out where he's been and where he's coming from. We'll start looking at clues. And everybody's like, well, yeah, but what about trade conference? And Picard's like, conference, are you fucking kidding?

That's the most dangerous shit in the world. I'd much rather do some archaeology for the rest of this episode. It's suicide. Ha ha. So they go to this planet that, I guess it's like the last planet that Galen had been at. And it's just kind of like a regular,

like proto-earth type of planet. And Picard's like, well, is there any archeology to be done here? Are there any ruins or anything like that? Scanners don't turn up anything. So. Nothing but urethral snakes. God dam it.

I don't do go do your hen-tie podcast by yourself Adam. Welcome to the greatest generation the foremost tentacle porn podcast. By one host who's embarrassed and another host who's not here anymore. So they don't find anything here and Picard is like, well, he went to another planet. Why don't we go there? And Riker at this point has been sort of humoring Picard's whole deal about this. And he's like, look,, this was a dead end. What's to say that the rest of these planets that Galen went to was a dead end. And Picard sort of reprioritizes the whole thing.

In the manner you suggest, he's like, you know, if this puzzle is as important as Galen says, then I think we got to put this to the top of the list. And this scene was really notable to me Ben because of its composition There's Picard and Riker arguing about this in the foreground but in the crook of Riker's arm is

Troy's face and then the deep background is warf and Riker changes positions a couple of times in this scene, and Troy always remains visible inside his arm. Even at the very end, when Troy regards wharf about the conflict that they're seeing between Riker and Picard, I just thought that was really deft, and it's a Jonathan Freak's directed episode, which-

I felt Freak's on this in the cold open. I was like, this feels so freaky already. And then it's so fun to like see that confirmed. Yeah, and like, I think with every episode he directs, we keep saying this over and over. I think he is the series's strongest director. He is really good at this point in the show. Really confident. I think he's taken the throne from Rob Bowman. Yeah. Where did Rob Bowman go? He must be off on some other series. Yeah, he stopped working this show, I think, in one of the first two seasons and he went

off to do X-Files and stuff. He went on to have a career, but stopped doing this show. All right, P. Rob Bowman. Okay. Or is my wife would say, or is V.P. Rob Bowman? Oh no. Okay. Have I ever told you about my wife's like amazing ability to put two idioms together into a way

that doesn't make sense, but you know what she means. Tell me more. You'll have to call again. I'm just leaving. I should write a few of them down. Let me, I'll plant this now and in like a couple of months, I'll have enough to make a cold open.

I'll have enough to make a marion open out of it. You're proposing a chapter in the wakey of. Okay. Yeah, my wife is quietly hilarious. That's the best kind. Yeah, I mean, she's not like me where I'm like, hey, look at me. I need your attention here.

Now I'm making jokes. La, la, la, la, la. She just lays back in the cut and says something super funny every so often. Troy comes into the ready room and is like, hey, is this just Ray Wangay? Is this just Omarita? What does it mean? And Picard is like, no, this is not about that, man. This is about like maybe this is the biggest discovery ever. And also, they killed my professor.

This is two straight episodes where counselor-troy services are needed and used in a great way. It's like the show just remembered what her utility was and has and they've just sort of woken up to the idea. Yeah, like Gif Troya scene where she confronts the captain or interacts with her nominal function on the ship at all and she'll add to the story. Yeah, yeah. She totally does here and Picard just starts screaming and waving a phaser cannon around and then he smashes it into the ships behind him. Like, like rambling on about the line! You broke your little ships. She sort of, uh, yes captains him, right?

Like, her council is not exactly welcomed. She sort of rebuffed and turned away. Right, like, I mean, he kind of makes the, he kind of makes the trade conference or the peace conference or whatever sound like the kind of fish versus dog level diplomacy. Yeah. The entrepreneur sometimes gets into. He's like, obviously, that's important or whatever, but this is way more important.

And I'm not going to let a couple of joke aliens make this man's life work disappear through our fingers. The Emerald Room at the Howard Johnson's can wait. We'll be there in a week anyways because I'm going to learn how to flip real estate. Yeah. They pull up to this next planet and it's like a beautiful looking planet, but there's this brown poopy creeping through the edges of the atmosphere, and it becomes clear pretty quickly that all life everywhere is being destroyed.

It wasn't me. It was the one armed man. I can't lose my arm because I'm a creature of surpassing power. I am a doubt. You can't cut things off of me. I am eternal. Where were we? I totally blacked out.

Kevin, did Kevin steal your memory? Yeah. Yeah, so evidently, not only are they on the path of like a what's possibly like a super weapon or a super technology, there's also someone rolling around the galaxy with a planet killing weapon. Yeah, and so they're like, what would you be covering up by destroying all life on a There's also someone rolling around the galaxy with a planet killing weapon. Yeah, and so they're like, what would you be covering up by destroying all life on a planet? Maybe the DNA.

And so that puts them on to the idea that the numbers that they found in Galen's Previa computer might be a genetic code. And they look into this and they're like, yeah, there's like, there's different, there's different genes from 19 different planets around this quadrant. Like, there's something to this. Like, we were kind of like onto the scent. It looks like these samples are from your blood. Blood! Millions of years ago, mosquitoes landed on different kinds of animals, then saffred from trees, froze them in time, and Galen came along in a previa, dug them up, and extracted

the code. You think Galen was trying to create Jurassic Park? He spared no expense. Yeah. His preference for the Previa, and instead of Jeep Wrangler, or the little right along? Yeah, Jeep Wrangler is not a great space vehicle.

Yeah. The way it comes to you guys. You don't want a leather exterior on your space vehicle. Yeah, that way it is. Really is. You don't want a leather exterior on your space vehicle. Yeah, that's soft top. Not great for deflection. Yeah, I mean, the atmosphere. It obviously looks great when you're going to the beach and you want to peel off your top and show off your six back, but.

Yeah. That's not really Galen's bag, is it? I just really wanted to hear Mr. DNA again. Yeah. That's a deep cut. It's a deep cut, you know, like I wish we had more to draw from with Mr. DNA. We've mind the shit out of Kevin. We've mind the shit out of Batman, even.

The thing is, we have yet to sexualize Mr. DNA in the way that we have every other impression we've ever done on this show. You know we've reached the bottom once we sexualize Mr. DNA. I'm in your butt. And scene. Perfectly placed act break. I am the cutest of all. You are all the next planet that get to Got a couple of Cardassian warships there and

They've got the kind of like sassy Cardassian captain going like oh yeah, you should clear out because like I was like doing some counting I don't know if you guys have ever heard of it, but it seems like we have twice as many ships as you. So, fuck off. Yeah. She's additudinal in the way that we have come to expect Cardassians, you know? Mm-hmm.

But it was nice to see a lady get a Gull position. I don't think I don't think we've really seen any lady cardacians until now We saw the daughter with the pet inside the torture chamber Right where Picard was taken. I think that was the only lady Dacian that we've seen so far They still have not figured out what a Kardashian bridge looks like though. It looks like they put up a green psych planning to comp it out and then just didn't.

Yeah, it's like a black leather executive office chair and a green psych. Yeah. It's really limited. Almost like because it's that green, they could have done it for the remaster, right? It's really limited. Almost like because it's that green, they could have done it for the remaster, right? They could have done something. Yeah, this would have been,

this would have been keyable for sure. Yeah. It's also like didn't, like they had a Cardassian bridge in deep space nine, right? Yeah. Cause they've got that one bad guy that's always showing up. Gold do cop.

Yeah, the point is like the world exists. That background exists. I read something interesting in the show notes about this one. I will occasionally do research. I'll copy to that. People will get really freaked out when you admit this. this one, I will occasionally do research. I'll copy to that. And it was. People would just get really freaked out when you admit this.

What I really enjoy reading are the quotes from people like Frakes, whose quotes were in the show notes for this one. And he was like, he mentioned something like all of the money for the show was going across the street, as in Deep Space 9. Like I guess they definitely felt the budget tightening on Next Gen as they were spooling up Deep Space.

And that just seems insane to me that the legacy show would be siphoned off to start this new one that's not been established. Right. I mean, by season six, I think it's fairly well known that next generation is a great star Trek show and is deserving of resources, is it not? All I can think of is that from a sets and scope standpoint,

deep space nine is a lot more ambitious than TNG. And these last two seasons are where you would have seen TNG really start to stretch itself out and be like, okay, we're not gonna do ACE Garden Center and Psych for Jungle Planet. We're gonna go shoot in a real jungle somewhere. Cause we have $10 million to spend every episode. And let's fucking make this look good.

Let's do this for real. I'm interested in scrutinizing those first two seasons of DPSS9 for this reason, like to see where the money went. And to like feel some bad feelings about it, knowing that those should be next gen dollars, you know? I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna place a wager right now that a good percentage of that budget went right up a Burman's nose

Ooh That's a hot take hot take coming through been Get some potholders through that one and a trivet You got some tater ters for that one and a trivet. Tsssss. You got some tater tots in that hot take? Hahaha. Good old Midwestern hot take. Yeah. Hopefully the tickets to our live show, which we are on the brink of announcing as of this

recording, are selling like hot takes. Hopefully, when we get to Minnesota, there will be a number of hot takes to sample. So they get to this. They're like talking to these cardacians and they're like about to get scared off when some klingons decloak and Picard does what diplomat Picard is want to do, which is he gets them all in the conference room and is like, let's work together. I know that you, the Klingons, think that this is a hyper weapon. I know that you, the cardacians who are like a crazy militarized society, but somehow

also have like major resource deficiency problems are convinced that it's an unlimited power source. We don't know what it is ourselves, but it seems like we all have, we all have a grab bag full of jigsaw puzzle pieces and we can get a lot closer to completing the picture if we work together than if we work across purposes. So we'll do it in a way where you can all be in the room while we put them together and we'll be just as far along

as we advance this mystery. Almost this entire scene is shown in shot, reverse shot, without any of the characters being together in frame. Yeah, they don't that sort of underscored how separate everyone was in their thinking. Mm hmm. Yeah. And like once again, they've got the Cardassian lit in a super skull face where, you know, like we, like the the Klingon is very is very like, you know, braggadocio and bombastic, but he's like more a friend than the Cardassian, and so he's lit more evenly. And this Cardassian, like, she looked terrifying when they cut their...

The Klingon character, Newdak, had that fun combination of threatening and bumbling that made me think that he was like Klingon Louise Guzman Like Like every character Louise Guzman plays seems to have that type of combination that I really enjoy Yeah, he walks over to the window with the observation lounge and looks at the planet below and says, you could see the sea from here if you could see it. You gotta put me in the film Jack. I'm ready. A couple years ago I was working for a media company and we had an opportunity to interview Luis Guzman. And the reporter and I, like, put together a list of Luis Guzman quotes

to, like, test him. And he, like, he basically got every single one of them. Like, he was unstoppable. Like, he knows all of his best lines. Wow. Was he great? I wanna believe that he's a great hang. He was a fucking awesome hang.

Yes. Yeah. That's great. It was totally good. Four things up and off. You go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go puzzle pieces together. And it's like four corners. It's looking like a shape, but they're obviously missing a shape. Like they're not missing so much that a child couldn't connect the dots of what's missing,

but they're definitely missing something. And so I think that it's enough that they can kind of like get the computer working on some processes to kind of like solve for missing piece. And that gives them some time to kill at them. And so with this time to kill, the Klingon does what Klingon's going to do, which is go down to the bar, and he finds data there. And there's a great scene where this guy is like challenging data to a Klingon strength test. Commander, your reputation for physical strength is known even in the Klingon Empire.

It's so great. It's like he's challenged a semi-truck to a strength test. You are familiar with the Bahad Cool Challenge? It's hilarious how he just a semi-truck to a strength test. You are familiar with the bad cool challenge? It's hilarious how he just sort of bounces off of data. More talk! It's such a fun scene and it's like, it's one of those ones where it's like, man, this makes me once again angry at every time there's been like an intruder on board and data hasn't like grabbed their guns and beat them to death with them or whatever.

Like use his super speed and his super strength to overcome an adversary. Or like for this year to be so interested in his breathing and his beard growing, like show me some feats of strength data. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Go pick up that warp core. Yeah.

It's fun, like he like head butts him and it flies across the room because data's head is made out of titanium or whatever. Because it's made of metal. And robots are strong. The other scene we get in this killing time is Jordy wandering around the engineering section. He is walking past a computer and does a double take and is like, what the hell? And then Rady is up to the captain and says, you might want to come down here.

I found something that I think you should see. That is pregnant left unaddressed at this point. So pregnant. Hell of pregnant. Many times throughout this episode, I kept thinking about what, about how insane Galen's plan was. There is no way he gets even a tentative away

to this point. Like if his previa got into a Mexican standoff between the Kardashians and the Klingons in order to this planet, like he's so fucked. Can you imagine Captain Picard dying on that stupid mission in a previa? Like he's really lucky he didn't take him up on that deal. Well, the other side of that though is like,

how is everybody on to this? You know? Yeah. The everybody is working from Galen's notes. So like at some point his Dropbox account got hacked or something, because. That's the thing that goes on said is because everything's so synchronized with everyone else's

spycraft, there had to be a breach and it had to come from Galen. And like, why didn't the story start there? It felt to me that like even a single line of Galen telling Picard, like the urgency of his mission is as it is because he suffered a security breach and the discovery is so important that he has to rush out there to chase the rest of this puzzle down. Like that gives the story a little bit more heft and it's not a ton of work to it to do. Right, so you start it that way and then instead of challenging data to feats of strength,

the Klingon comes into 10 forward and challenges Gaelin. It kills Gaelin, and then he's out of the story, the same way that he is in this version. Easy. We hit all the same feats. So, they get everybody back together, and they're going to like wait for the ticker tape to get shit out of the computer to say what the next planet is. And the computer announces the name of the planet they're going to go to. And suddenly, Gulla set the Cardassian captain beams out. The Cardassian ships start bullseyeing the entrepreneur and it's looking pretty bad, right? It's some real fun cannonball run vibes, right?

Like the race to the goal, the spaceship race to the goal, especially, really fun. I really hope that they get to the end and they come out on stage and smash mouth is there. They have a long way to go in a short time to get there. We cut up to the bridge and rinkers like, alright guys, let's cut the inertial dampeners and make this look good. And it becomes clear that somehow they have hardened themselves to Cardassian beam weapons in a way that makes... I don't really understand how this works either.

Like how can they, how can knowing that the Cardassians are going to shoot at them make them invulnerable to the Cardassians weapons? I have no idea. All I know is that this plan appeals to riker sense of roleplay. Yeah. They didn't, they didn't get word to the clean-outs or no, the clean-outs like knew that this was happening also, but the clean-out crew wasn't as good at making the clean-out cruiser invulnerable, so...

Yeah, and clean-out Louise Guzmah just goes off on this poor guy over the phone, too. You incompetent topa! You were supposed to be prepared. Yeah, that's not a good look, man. No, no. He's a little bit we, isn't he? He may be the littlest cling on. Little, little shorty. Yeah. I mean, Dorn just hours over him. It's like one thing that I think I wish this show had done more of is play with the

size of different aliens. Like, I think that, you know, like it's, it's not that hard to do, you know, like they do a lot of that in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, like playing with the scale of different kind of species. And, like, what if the Klingons were just like a fucking like eight-foot tall race? Like, they were all mad big. And like, instead of worth having trouble with doors, he just has to duck every time he goes through one.

Yeah. Like, that's, that's shootable. You just have to make a plan for it. A man, a plan, a camera, giant cling-outs. My favorite pal in drums, Adam. Picard and Captain Guzman come up on the bridge and Picard's like, well, we better get to that secret other planet. The Cardassians aren't going to leave their pants pulled down for long, and they head off.

And who is it? It's like the captain, Guzmán, the doctor, and wharf beamed down to a Styrofoam planet. And they're looking at like some fossils that might have the last piece of DNA. And like what they've gotten to at this point is that hidden in DNA on planets all over the quadrant are numbers that can be put together to make a computer program. And like there's, it's the subject of some debate what this computer program does, but

this is the planet where the last piece of the puzzle is. And they're finally going to have their picture of kittens in a Romulan wicker basket. So they get up there and they're like, they're like poking around for this liken when the Cardassians beam down and it's like fuck. They are so quick. And then a moment later Romulan's beam down. And they're like, we were watching you guys the whole time. We were cloaked. And Klingon Louise Guzman has got to feel like a total idiot at this point.

Like he could have been cloaked the whole time too. Yeah, we have cloaking devices. Why weren't we this smart? We were playing checkups. You rarely get like the gang together with all the aliens. Yeah. This is it.

They got a real good group of actors for the Romulans, especially together, because they all look like they're straight out of like 1959. They have some real fucking past people faces. Yeah, good call. And so everybody's like Mexican standoffing here. What a predicament. There's ray guns out. Everybody is, you know, recriminating everybody else and for car and baskets. Yeah. And cardin' Beverly just kind of like quietly step back and scrape some like enough the wall and scan it into a tricorder.

And the tricorder turns into one of those little like mobile projectors that seems like it's going to be a great idea. But then it's like, I spent like 200 bucks on this and there's really not that many things you can use it for. Help me Obi-Wan, can I be? I spent like 200 bucks on this and there's really not that many things you can use it for. The projection ends up being sort of a gooey guy or gooey girl, I guess. There's some androgyny at play here a little bit. Sort of a big hit with recessed ears, a little bit of an odour look to this person.

Yeah, and she's like in this kind of angelic white costume. She's in like a tupa. You look good in that tupa. Some people don't, but you do. Everyone like holds their breath, they're like, holy shit, this is it. This something amazing is gonna happen and she basically is like we're we're from a long time ago and a galaxy far

far away we thought it would be fun to sprinkle our information around see if anyone put the pieces together so I could deliver to you this message we're all the same you and me. Why don't we just try to be more chill to each other or whatever? Yeah, and it's kind of like, it's kind of shaming, right? Like she says, like, if you found this message, you are working together, and that's great to hear. Like, our children have grown up and aren't being idiots trying to chop each other's heads off. Meanwhile, Klingon Louise Guzman is making the jerk-off motion while she's talking.

Not factually correct. When it goes close on her, it's clear that she's got like basketball texture on her loaf. Yeah, and the areas around her lips are starting to come apart. It's not holding up under talking. Yeah, and you can also tell that like the loaf is kind of just barely tucked into the top of her tupa. Like, you can see the edge of it under the collar of the shirt. She delivers maybe the most quintessentially Star Trek message ever, right?

It's some real shakari shit. Like, there's some real mysticism at play here. And I think everyone is a little disappointed to hear it. It's like mysticism and the pan-spirmya theory kind of combined, you know? It's such a good premise for a Star Trek episode and it's a shame that this is the episode that they burned it in. You know, during certain months out of the year, if you walk through New York, you can smell the pan spermia tree in bloom. That's sure if you knew that, Ben. I'm abundantly aware of that.

I've got to keep the door on my balcony closed for that very reason. She disappears and the clink on is like, this is bullshit! Where's my weapon? Yeah, I think they're all, they all just sort of shrug their shoulders. Go off on their separate ways. And the button on the episode is, before everyone leaves, Picard's in his quarters, and the commander of one of the Romulan ships is like, hey man, I think given that a lot of thought. And that weird white robe person on the planet surface may have been on to something.

Anyway, bye! Yeah, it's a bit like, man, it's a shame we never got together you and me. Oh well, too late now. We're both married. I didn't think this scene worked though. It didn't walk close enough up to the line of being significant. Yeah. Like, is the fact that this person reached out to be card at all of such significance that it's a big deal?

I didn't think it was. I mean, I guess the implication is that like maybe the Romulans are more like the federation than anybody else. They're kind of like the what-if of the Federation being authoritarian. It's interesting to see one character consider the alternative. Picard is never going to be like, man, I wish the Federation was more like the Romulan Empire or like we could be more friendly with regimes that we find

repugnant, but when that Romulan is like, hmm, I could see this like, like I could see us being pals in the future. It's at least an interesting idea, but again, like I totally agree. It's an interesting idea that's in an episode that doesn't quite rise to the level of delivering on it. If this, if whatever they thought they were going to get out of this puzzle was significant enough, I was wondering how different this episode would have felt if a ROM YARLIN were involved, you know? Like, whatever happened to her.

Why don't they give Denise Crosby a call every time something like this comes up? Like we get returns from Q all the time, but we get so few callbacks by antagonists on the show. Yeah. Yeah, it's a shame at him. Well, did you like the episode? Boy, I really liked the episode up until the last, now I'll walk that back a little bit.

I like the middle 25 of this episode quite a bit. I like the idea of Star Trek Cannon Ball Run, you know? That part was really cool. The Galen part didn't work for me and all of his reasons for keeping in a secret didn't work and the the Dino Mo at the end Did not make me feel anything in a way that That I prefer to feel at the conclusion of an episode, you know? But that middle was real nice.

There was a lot to do there. Like, hmm, I just want to click and drag that middle out to the edges. Yes, like a content-aware scale function and Photoshop. Right. Right. Like, to my knowledge, they've never done an episode like that where it is just breathless all the way through. Like if we get dropped into the middle of the chase, it would have been great.

That would have been cool. Yeah, so, I mean, likeable, enjoyable episode with some problems, but that middle was enough for me to enjoy it and give it a pass. Yeah, I feel the same way, man. I think it's, I kept, I kept thinking as I watched this, like I would love to read the well drawn science fiction novel about this idea. Yeah, I'm not even necessarily set in the Star Trek universe, but like, like,

it would be really cool to build the universe around this idea, because it is super interesting. Like, what if you found out that all of the destiny of your species and all of the species that you've become aware of in your star-faring You know empire or whatever have been predetermined for billions of years like what a crazy existential Thunder clap to visit upon billions of people that idea is awesome and that That like the idea of that gave me the chills when they were in Shimoda Corner talking about the possibility of that. Been to me, that should have been Star Trek Insurrection, right? Like, if you bolt that theory onto that movie, you can still keep that planet with the people who live forever. But if that's the end planet to this story,

and that created its own conflict among all of the rest of the people, like that is a crazy good story, I think, if the puzzle leads to the Beku planet. Yeah. And then we pick it up from there. How do you know that that's the Beku planet? I don't remember that kind of thing. Isn't that who they are? I totally believe

you. I'm just saying like who cares enough about that movie to remember that. Yeah, that was a real garbage movie. Hold on. I'm gonna I'm gonna fact check Beku planet. Gotta get that right, Ben. We're gonna get letters. We get stacks and stacks of letters the back who yeah I was right god. How did I know that? That movie had a $60 million budget and it made double wow that's that comes as a surprise Double your money double your fun at that point. They decide we can make anything. This is a licensed different money I'm gonna take a dump in this Manila envelope Give it a $60 million budget and we'll make the next one

Ben do we have any p ones? Let's let's check in the Manila envelope we have here. We have any P1s. This Manila envelope squishy. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement on top. supplement on top? supplement. supplement.

Yes, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Adam, we have a priority one message of a commercial nature here. Says this, Fish Boys, sixth official full length is the fourth in a series of rock operas. The album Art Guards explores the lives of several artists and the interconnectedness of all things. R-I-Y-L Art Complex Television shows Rock. Previous works include an elephant about Thompson's haunting of Thomas Edison, about Thompson's haunting of Thomas Edison, classic creeps, a mystery, and albatross,

bank heists by a rock band on tour. Each will impress thrill and bloom with each listen. Hundreds of one-of-a-kind paintings of artists are available, too. Touring soon! Beeman over to yofishboy.com to order the freshest masterpiece from Denton Texas Indy Rock Stars Fishboy. ArtGards hits May 19th on CD, LP, Digital, and DLX.

Do you know what DLX is? No idea. The only other Denton Texas band I know of is Centromatic. Denton Texas puts out a lot of good music. Yeah. I gave fish boilers and I enjoyed myself quite immensely. I'm glad they're putting out records. Like you can get their music on CD and LP.

I love that. You can tell that they're working at a certain level if LP's are part of their offerings. Fishboy. Give it a listen. Yo fishboy.com. Go check it out. Ben our second priority one message is of apersonal nature. It is from your very own drunk Mr. Data and it is for the sexy du-ra sister. I think they're talking about Beethoven, right?

That's the sexy one. Uh, I've always been a lyrsum, man. Oh, really? I don't know. I don't think I can get with that. I-I'm-I get with that. I ride for betur. Anyway, message goes like this, you are the only one that I want to go probing space buttolls with. Now that you're misdata, I can finally install my emotion chip.

I've put my Horgon in the closet. I'm canceling my huge order from Uxbridge, and I've unsubscribed from Jordy's Red Pill podcast. I can't wait to explore this strange new meatloaf with you while sipping cocoa no-nos. Love you! Ah, that's sweet. This is great. It says here in the notes that they're getting back from their wedding on the 10th. So any time after that would be a welcome message to receive. So they have just come back from what is obviously going to be a great wedding, where they and their guests will have imbibed a lot of those cocoa nonos.

That sounds like a fun party. Yeah, congratulations, guys. Congrats! If you have a celebratory or personal or commercial message, any type of message been, really, we'll take them all. You can go to Maximumfund.org slash Jumbo Tron, where personal messages are $100 commercial messages are $200 they're fun to read, fun to write, fun to pay for and they contribute to the ongoing production of our show.

A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it. The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023.

We've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to greatestgentour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests, and bring them down to our level.

We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org.

Look, your podcast apps are already open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goat try. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rats, hey, hey, oh, I've got to count you in mine. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good.

No, they do not, and they've such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this off. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, thought is about to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans.

We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boat. We came to by two.

What do you think? Ono Ross and Kerry, available on MaximumFun.org. Hey, Ben.'s that Adam? Did you find yourself a Drunk Shimoda I'm gonna have to give it to Klingon Guzman for the the feats of strength in the

In 10word with data. I just thought this actor really chewed up this little moment. You know, it's like, it's a great moment of levity in this episode. It's like a greater moment of levity than perhaps this episode deserves. And it's partly just because of how funny the performance is, like how fucking shocked he is at how quickly he loses. Like this dude doesn't look like he works out exactly. He goes into his little like, cling on arm wrestle, brimming with confidence. And he does not learn his lesson. I like the idea that the legend of data strength has reached far into the Klingon people,

like they know of him. Yeah. In a fun way. They're fascinated by this. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it could be no one else than Then new deck really like he's and what an interesting magic trick you described of like an episode with such serious Story beats and his ham and cheese being completely welcome in it like it does not spoil the broth at all no He's he and I think that's a credit to how great he plays it Like he's not a he's clownish without being a total fucking clown about it And I think that's a credit to how great he plays it. He's clownish without being a total fucking clown about it.

Right, and that's a hard cling on needle to thread. Because at this point, the kind of like the comportment of a cling on is pretty well established. That's not something that you get to mess around with much as an actor in the same way that the way that your character is going to walk if you get cast as a forangi has been predetermined. You don't get to go into cling on loaf and then come in and do anything, but I have strong feelings about this and honor and all that shit. And within that, that really strong creative constraint. This guy manages to be an interesting and fun character and a different cling on guy than we normally get.

Yeah. Really cool. I loved his portrayal quite a bit. Ben, what do we have coming up on the next episode? The next episode is season 6 episode 21. Frame of mind trapped in an alien mental hospital with little memory of the past. Riker is convinced he's going insane. Do you remember this episode, Adam? I remember this being one of the great episodes. Yeah, it's how I remember it.

A tense psychological thriller. You we get totally unhinged hair from Riker too, which is great. Like another great moment of hinge hair symbiosis. That is true. It's one of those ones where they like, you know, like they try and fail to twilight zone every so often.

And I remember this one succeeding in a really fun way. So I'm excited to watch it. Yeah, me too. I think we're gonna get a lot of yelling and screaming from breaks here, which is one of my favorite sounds. True dad. Alright, well that'll be next time, Adam. There is a next time to talk about our show, Ben.

You know where that happens? On the internet. On Twitter using the hashtag GreatestGen. There's also a group on Facebook and a couple of great pages on Reddit. One is the official maximum fun Reddit. Our slash maximum fun, the other one is our very own branded Reddit page, our slash greatest gen. Branded it is. We should think dark material for our music and Adam and Gusef for our other music. And all the people that get our merch at maxfunsturah.com and contribute to the production of the

store at maximumfun.org slash donate. And we're excited to see you all on our tour. And with that, we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek, the next generation. And an episode of the greatest generation that's shitting its pants, it's so crazy. I'm gonna be your assistant, assistant, right? Get to your movie, I'm gonna be your assistant, assistant, right? Make it sound, make it sound.

Make it sound. I'm gonna be your assistant, assistant, right? Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, artist owned. Listener supported. Thank you.