The Greatest Generation - Young Liza Minnelli & Old Billy Eichner (S7E22)

Episode Date: September 20, 2017

When a mysterious probe delivers a holographic Daimon Bok to the Enterprise, it’s a revenge served lukewarm. But when Picard discovers he may have unknowingly sired a son, the ship drops everything to save the beautifully coiffed boy. Is “farmer” the most eccentric job you can have? Does Picard need to start keeping a loaded DustBuster under his pillow? Why stop work on an amazing invention five minutes before you’re done? It’s the episode where Maury Povich takes a turn as co-host.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast. By the couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast, I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pryanaka.

Hey Adam. Hey Ben. It's been a little while since we've gone to war with one another. Oh, like that, you say. We'll back. Like that. We are fighting again. I gotta go get those cards though, man.

I'm up in studio, be you right now. Give me a sec. Where more? There's been no formal declaration of war. Maybe they took your brand of some luck. That nonsense is centuries behind us. Quark! On the mark! This is always how it works.

You just spring war up on me. Well, I'm unprepared. Yeah, I use the element of surprise to get an advantage in battle, Adam. That's what you've done here. Let's see if that is actually an effective strategy Ben so my deck is still shuffled a F a i k Should we just go? Yeah, let's just go Okay, three two one flip. Oh

No, I have a sure loser, Ben. I have Tate! Instant Tate of decent, right? That's the one where Tate's idea of flying into the sun is questioned by both acting Captain Beverly Crusher and the guy with a weird eyebrows. Oh yeah, what was that guy's name? Barnaby?

Barnaby. Yeah. Who does Tate lose to, Ben? This is a character named Beejik. And I think this is one of the Klingon officers they get on the FaceTime when they like try to put a call into Gauron and they get like a Functionary. Oh, right like one of the admin guys

Yeah, so it's been a long time since I've since I've known begic Ben so thanks for the reminder you have an experienced begic recently. No You haven't experienced bejik recently? No. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, that Tate is real easy on the eyes. Yeah, but not very easy on the acting in my estimation. I think we had a difference of opinion on that. Yeah, we did. I'm not gonna look at a wind horse in the mouth. This is war, Ben. All's fair.

Should we flip over another card? Let's do it. Three, two, one. I'll spare should we flip over another card do it Three two one Oh Adam, what do you got my Card is for medical kit It is a representative of special medical equipment has been developed by many races. Oh boy. Well, you may win again, Ben, because my character card that I've drawn is named Taurus. He is a Romulan who looks like he had a fire extinguisher dropped on his head.

He's got one of those faces that is very tall for the size and shape of his head. It's not Shevulan, is it? No. No. He uh, yeah, he's just got big face. And he's got a two short forehead. He's representative of male Romulans trained in the field of science. Specialist to the extent of extra- Extra-dimensional life forms. There's no way a science Romulans loses to medical kit.

I guess it depends on whose version of medicine you believe is best. Are you a bigger believer in Romulan medicine or Federation medicine? Well, this is definitely a Federation kit, but I think it doesn't matter. Yeah. In the, you know, they could only do one extremely bad Photoshop of that for this card card so I'm gonna give I'm gonna call it for you buddy. Alright I'll take it. I know you I know you don't don't love your Romulan but it's better than medical kit trust me. Alright fair enough. Let's break the tie bit. Alright three two one. I have repair mission. This is one of 3, 2, 1

I have... Repair mission! This is one of those cards that makes it hard to play war with because it's an actual like... Thing to do versus a character? Yeah Edge of Federation Space investigate malfunction of subspace radio telescope. That's what this mission is. I have... I have... Treaty, Romulan slash Klingon. Heh.

Heh. I guess. I guess. I don't really know what that is. I feel like we need to flip another card. I feel like that's just a... That's just a... A nothing.

What would you rather do? Like, I'm fine with flipping a fourth card, but like, would you rather go on repair mission mission or diplomatic mission? I think repair mission if it's Romulan Klingon Treaty that's no good. Yeah that sounds really hard. Alright let's flip that fourth just to do it. Alright three Uh, oh man, it's gonna be hard to beat mine, Adam. Oh. I have Q-net. Q-raises an enormous force field grid in space.

It's the uh, it's the Pendleton shirt in space. Yeah, that one is the clear winner. I like the card that I drew, but it's not gonna be Pendleton net. I have Tarrick, one of the lower decks guys. He's the Trihard Falcon. The the front zip Vulcan. Yeah. One of his traits is not Triang Hard. It's just the standard integrity, cutting, and strength. I wish TriHard was one of those. It's too bad. If we ever get our hands on an addition of this game, we'll make sure to include those kinds of qualifications.

Yeah, intake. One of my favorite things we were given on tour was like loaded decks of these customizable card games. Yeah, we can't play war with those decks. No, it's just gonna be Shimoda versus Shimoda, you know, like, I think they were even the same order, but they were like very much, uh, specific things that we've talked about on the show in a deck. No one wins in a Shimoda versus Shimoda conflict, Ben. No, that would be terrible.

No one except the bartender. Well, you win again, Ben. I don't know what the score is over the long term, but I feel like you've won war pretty consistently against me. I think you've won a couple, at least one. Yeah, I mean- How many times have we played? I'm looking through the cards that I've used in war, and I like a few of them except I'm looking at Archer.

Archer definitely loses. And Vekma, our lady Klingon, whose advances were denied by one will riker. Well Adam, continuing the now three episode long theme arc of parenthood. We have another episode to talk about here today. What do you say we get into it? Yeah I'm into that Bennett season 7, episode 22, Bloodlines. bloodlines. Ben this is the part two of a cliffhanger that occurred all the way back in season one. Everyone waiting with baited breath over what would ever happen with Damon Bach. If you thought the summer in between as to if both worlds parts one and two was long. So much time had passed, they actually recast the character.

Is that a recast? Yeah. That's not the same guy. Oh, too bad. Well, he brings, he brings a lot of Vim and Vigor to the character. We're hanging out on the bridge and an unknown object comes out of nowhere. It appears to be an unmanned probe. Hales Picard by name and in opening the communications, this thing starts like emitting some energy and a hologram appears on the bridge.

And it is Damon Bach, the guy that attempted to kill Picard as Rehwenge. What did it mean? It means a map. For his dead son, who I guess this is the battle, the battle referred to in the episode entitled The battle. Yeah, this is the battle of Maxi a guy, right? The USS Stargazer took out a forangi ship when Picard was in command literally no one has thought about this battle except for Bach battle except for Bach. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha store for feminine hygiene products and you say, actually, I probably shouldn't, I'm known as the butcher of Maxia. This is really embarrassing for Picard, I feel like.

Like, his shit is being put out into the street in front of the entire crew. Like. Yeah, so what Bach has said to Picard here is that Picard is a father and Picard is, you know, admirers Picard's skill in hiding his son from him, but he's gonna kill Picard's boy. Jason Fiko is as good as dad. Picard makes no effort to sort of zup, bop into, hey, can we discuss this more in the ready room? Please? Like, everyone is watching this happen.

This is so embarrassing. It really leaves Picard looking like his pants have been pulled down. He was pretty gobsmacked with this revelation. This made me think of our time in Philadelphia. Ben, when I heard no less than two paternity conversations happening on the street, like as we walk to lunch one day, really weird to overhear something like that. Yeah, like a weird argument to have while you're walking to something with somebody. Yeah, and record. Like, hey, we're gonna leave school

and walk to a pizza place for lunch. And on the way, we'll discuss whether or not I'm the father of your child. I guess there's no good time and place to do that. So you're just gonna do it while you do other things, right? I guess so. Yeah. Feel like a, Riker's friendship is really needed here.

Like, what Riker could have and should have done if he were true to his character is like, cydle up to Picard, like, put a knowing hand on his shoulder. I got you, bud. I know this sucks, but we'll get you through it. Jordi, we've got to abort. Riker is like in the ready room. Picard is like, hey man, uh, I know it's none of your business, but you deserve to know since that kind of happened out in front of everybody.

There is a possibility that I have a son I don't know about. And what Rikers should have said is, are you kidding? I'd probably have 50 sons I don't know about. If I was obligated to tell you about all of my maybe kids the way you felt obligated to talk to me about yours, like our conversation would never end, Captain. Captain, why do you think that there are husks all over the cargo bay? Rikers bunch of husk children, like so many grapes. Yeah. bunch of husk children like like so many grapes.

Yeah. They do a nice long push in typical here, right? Like this is this is like maybe the one interesting shot in the whole app is they start across the ready room and they do that long slow push during something dramatic. Picard does have an idea of who this this kid's mother might be. It's a data. See if there's any mention of a Jason Vigo in Federation records you might start with

around the Vigo. And so they use her name to try and like poke around and see if they can't find this guy because I threat has been issued against his life. So the flagship of the federation has gone to 100% save this maybe person who maybe exists life mode. And so they're flying around and they're doing like genealogy and they track, they track Moran to Vigo and maybe Jason down to a planet and they're still not sure because these planets don't have good record keeping but they determine that

it's possible that the southern continent of this planet is is where to look because Moran it was always interested in farming and is where to look because Miranda was always interested in farming and that's the only part of this planet where people cultivate any plants. And I was thinking about this Adam, like is farmer the most eccentric job you can have in a post-replicator world? Yeah, I really think so. It's like a It's like a courted telephone salesperson. Like why even? It's weird because like Jason, you know, comes out later that Jason's a bit of a petty criminal and like has done a lot of b&es and stuff. And it's like why?

Why are you still stuff? There's like you have to be totally whacked out mentally to have that seem like a good idea, right? The replicator is sort of the ultimate device in the universe. Like, if you're gonna bother, like, terraforming a place or colonizing a planet

that has already been terraforming or is ready for life, like, it seems like replicator is the natural second step. Set up the replicators. The idea that you would ever steal something in a world where you can have anything you need or want is crazy. Maybe that's the juice. That's Jason's juice. That's what makes him feel alive.

The ultimate rush. Nothing that comes close to it. Not even sex. Well, you... That and climbing cliff walls inside caves. Right. Because they do the scan and they discover that he is like deep under the surface of the planet's crust doing some spelunking and they

beam him onto the transporter pad like mid rock climb. They don't do this nearly enough. The beaming of someone over who's in the middle of something else. Yeah, I felt like it was a real missed opportunity to have Picard show up in some rocket boots and say Jason, we're going to need you on the ship now and then Jason fall off and Picard rocket boot down to save him. Perhaps because it is there is not sufficient reason for climbing the mountain. I have hardly any position to disagree.

I especially like the minute later call back where Jason's like, you could just put me back on the rock face and then you like articulates his body into the position that it was before Free beam out. Yeah, that's fun. That's like a lot of trust that you remember exactly how you were, right? This Jason really good-looking guy. He's got like ultimate 90s hair He's got some real 90s star power. I feel like. Yeah. He has his haircut is sort of a version of the haircut I've had for 20 years. Except he's got like, he's got the Conan O'Brien version of it. Like it goes very high and very wide. He's got really good volume, really good thick strands.

He might be using that panting pro V for all we know. It may be the most 90s hair we've seen on a man on this show. It is just quintessentially 90s. I don't know, I feel like I would put ginger Jesus up against this guy for 90sness any day of the week. He's got like fighter pilot looks like like he should be piloting airwulf or something. Yeah, like he is he's like a third row background character in in top gun. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean that diminishes top cruises like I never want that guy to be in focus if I'm on camera.

I mean that diminishes- Tom Cruise is like, I never want that guy to be in focus if I'm on camera. I think that's all to say that like he has real and true charisma. I really liked him from the start and I thought his work as an actor in portraying this character was super strong. Yeah, he has sort of those rogue vibes of, what was that guy? The Rogish guy that came aboard and like really charmed the pants off of Wesley. The outrageous Okana episode right? Yeah. Yeah. I kind of, it's like that but less joky. He seems like he would be like if you weren't able to do a DNA test and you had to assign who his, uh assign who his dad might be on the ship. He's got like riker carriage to him.

He's got that sort of confidence. Indeed. And he also has that sort of that sort of like energy. Like Troy comes in and she's like, hey, I heard you just had a paternity test and found a Picardus your father father and also there's a Deranged for Enki trying to kill you. So I thought you might want to you know talk about that and he's like Yeah, but first what's up with you? Yeah, he is totally I fucking her from jump and

To Troy's credit she keeps it totally jump and to Troy's credit she keeps it totally professional throughout like this guy is being a fucking creepo and she's like hey well if you want to talk in a professional manner like you know how to reach me yeah didn't come here for that Bob he's like I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave. Hahaha. And she just fucking roundhouses him. HURPIC! HURPIC! HURPIC! He does not want to remain on the ship for any length of time.

He doesn't quite get the Damon Bach thing in spite of Picard telling him that his life isn't danger. He sort of wants to roll the dice and be solo about it. He's really uncomfortable with the idea of being sort of held captive for his own good. He's a fierce beard. Yeah, and like, I think that's said in a lot of ways. Like his character is not the most vocal about his feelings,

but he stays in his climbing costume way past when another character would probably switch into a vest and a long shirt. Yeah, that's a great point. Like, he stays in his clothes because he's expected to go back soon. And then he finally gives it up for that vest combo. I mean, let's be honest, that vest combo looks great on him. It really gives him some Marty McLeivypes.

You stick anyone in that red vest. Hey kid, what'd you do, jump ship? So this guy is fun employed. He is an avid, extreme sports bro. And really like the idea that his father who he never knew anything about would be a like important starship captain character like Picard is pretty much a head trip. You know sort of along the lines of your comment about farming,

being sort of like a an affectation more than like a viable career choice in the 24th century. It's interesting that Jason does not show any deference at all to Picard as a space captain figure. You know, like he's not impressed or blown away by the ship or his possible dad's job or anything. It says a lot about him without specifically saying anything. Yeah, yeah. It says a lot about him without specifically saying anything. Yeah. Yeah.

I also like at the way Dr. Crusher deals with this news Yeah, like when she tells Jason and Picard the result of the paternity test it is like like nothing could be further from an episode of Mori When she delivers the news, she plays her tone really strangely. She is not psyched. Excuse me gentlemen, the test results are ready if you'd like to hear them. She plays it for drama for one thing and that's fun. Like, she basically in the room goes to an in-room commercial break. You guys are going to want to see this. Four second pause.

It's got the results. It's like in like a reality show when they're gonna pull the, you know, who's gonna be kicked off the island out of the envelope or whatever. And you can tell that they're just adding 45 seconds of unrealistic tension to the moment by just cutting to different reaction shots.

Yeah, they really could have done that here. But yeah, so there's a lot of heavy-duty feelings going around. And Picard is trying to connect with Jason. He's like, hey, man, I didn't even know you existed. And I think if your mom had told me, I had made an effort to be a part of your life for at least send you letters and Christmas presents or whatever. This performance by Patrick Stewart, I find totally real feeling. It really feels like he's trying in a sincere way, but not trying in a him and she's way,

but this feels like the character making an effort, in a way that we haven't seen before. Like, he's really trying to make a connection. He's trying to share who he is and what his interests are with him. And- Which is a really hard thing for Picard. And the character of Jason couldn't be a harder person for him to express that

to because Jason wants nothing to do with it and wants to get as far from the situation as he can. Yeah, he's sort of given him the Wesley treatment. It's a bummer, man. Yeah, Picard asks what happens to Jason's mother and the story Jason tells is pretty horrifying like not only is Not only was her decision to go do farming on some distant planet But it was to do farming in like the bad part of the planet

Where there's like roving street gangs, robbing people for their crops. This must be outside of Federation territory, right? This is why you need a replicator. Replicators save lives, Ben. It's like getting mugged and having them take you to the ATM and like making you put in your code at knife point, like going to the replicator and giving them as much T-Earl Grey Hot as they could possibly consume at knife point. Yeah. Yeah, all that goes away once you have the replicator on the planet.

Doesn't make sense. Can a replicator replicate a replicator? If so, you have as much replication as you need. It's true. You only need one. He just covered the planet and replicators and replaced everybody else. This starts Jason down a road of like anti-replicator. He lives his life in vengeance towards replicators.

Mm-hmm. He's always throwing wooden shoes at replicators. That may be head-canon-wise, why he never accepts a drink from a replicator when Picard offers him one. This happens a couple times during the ep and he's like, no, I don't want him. You see, I know that death box.

He's only a sorrient brandy man. He's just kept story in Brandy man So here's the deal Damon Bach has devised a way to get onto The entrepreneur whether or not the shields are up. And they figure out that it has something to do with a subspace transporter technology. Something that the federation attempted to invent but abandoned because it was too hard or something. The sure seems like, especially this season, the federation has attempted to devise some great pieces of technology and then for whatever reason just stopped.

This is a great idea. Subspace transporter sounds like a killer move. What range would that kind of transporte have? In theory, it could operate over several light years. You could transport a torpedo right into somebody's engineering section. That's a little snake. It's snakes.

Yeah, you've got torpedo snakes at the ready and your shields are useless against them. Yeah. Why would you give that up? You have a cloak chip, you have a fire beaming technology, you'd be unstoppable. The boards are not going to be able to adapt to this. It sounds too hard, Ben, we should probably give up the research. Let's get into farming. Just being a society with no money, what expense would be too high for them to not want to

research a technology like this? I don't know. This is so boring. So Picard keeps getting visited by Dave and Bach. Like he'll like wake up in the middle of the night and Bach will be leering over his bed and it's like it's really him. It's not a hologram. And so at one point he comes in like visits Picarred in the ready room. And Jordi and Wesley are able to use the skeleton finder to determine like how he's doing it.

I love how every odd incident on the ship will have a phaser like on their coffee table at any given point. But Captain of the flagship doesn't have anything in a nightstand that he can draw on an intruder. That's great. Yeah, but they're really worried because this means they don't really have a way of protecting Jason. Jason could be transported off the ship at any moment. And of course, he won't be because that would be not great for a dramatic

structure, but... What is great for dramatic structure is Picard assigning a security detail to Jason that includes young Liza Mennelli. And old Billy Eichner? Yeah. I want a bottle episode just about them. Yeah, Lieutenant Young Liza Manelli and Enlistedman Old Billy Ikener are like following Jason around like they won't get off his nuts and tend forward. Do you think you could give me some room?

They're, they're tailing a car by like putting their bumper right on Jason's like they are not giving him any room at all. Like they're like following him into a bathroom stall amount of clothes. I gotta imagine that old Billy Eichner would be pretty thrilled to be hanging around with young Liza Manelli. Yeah. I don't want to be like a, I don't want to like Play into stereotypes, but I feel like I know enough about Billy Eichner to summarize that.

I feel like you do too, man. It's live in the Nellie! Oh my god. Man, did you feel like Jason had no sideburns continuity in this episode? It felt like they went from sharp to dull a couple of times. Uh, I did not pay any attention to his sideburns. I don't know. Like, I found his sideburns distracting both in terms of,

uh, how great they looked, but also in the varying lengths. Man, I'm gonna have to keep an eye on that as I scrub through the episode. Well, if you just prove that theory, I hope you edit that out because I'm almost positive. His sideburns changed lengths. Weird. Yeah. Well, they come up with the idea that they are going to get a pattern lock on him that follows him around. They're just going to program the computer to keep a transport or lock on him. Meanwhile, he is having some health issues. They find him collapsed on the floor at one point. It turns out he has a degenerative neurological disorder.

They teased this a little bit earlier with some hand tremors before he finally is flopping around in his quarters later. I thought that was going to be like he's a manchuria in candidate and was really here to kill Picard on behalf of the Ferenguys or something. Yeah, it seemed like there might have been something darker than what the truth is at play here. You ever get those weird muscle tremors in your hand, in maybe a single finger, or I got one recently that was just the corner of my lip.

I mean, only when I'm about to do a murder at the behest of a sinister foreign power. Right, yeah. I guess that's when it happens for me too. Yeah. I mean, you've got to, it's correlation, not causation, but I feel like it's a very strong correlation. Yeah.

Yeah. So, this is all building up. And there's a very long scene where Picard joins Jason and the in the holodeck, Jason's doing a little rock climbing. Picard gets his attention by doing some reasonably skilled rock climbing of his own without even changing out of his work clothes. Yeah. And they have like a pretty heavy duty rap session. Like Picard kind of finally gets through to to Jason. They talk about his mother like Picard kind of finally gets through to Jason, they talk about his mother

and Picard expresses very explicitly that like he really regrets the way things were between him and his father when his father passed away and he doesn't want to repeat that, you know, he never knew that Jason existed, but he wants to make up for last time and like be a positive influence in Jason's life. And Jason's like, nah man, you don't want to hang out with me. I'm a loner, a rebel. There's a lot of things about me. You don't know anything about Daddy.

Things you wouldn't understand. things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. I thought the magic trick here about Patrick Stewart's performance as Picard was that he makes the case that due to family history he wants to correct for a way things have been traditionally. My own father and I were estranged. But he never paints Jason as a project in a way that would feel insulting. Like, if I were Jason I wouldn't want Picard's guilt to function as a reason to have a relationship with me. And it never plays that way,

which seems really hard. I think if you're looking at this scene on paper, like don't make me your fucking family project just because you've had a hard time with your own dad. Like why doesn't it read that way? I think it's great. I really like this scene. Yeah, because Picard very genuinely just wants to have a relationship of some kind.

Right. And he's pretty much open to it being whatever it needs to be for Jason. Yeah, and Jason's pretty blown away that Picard knows his rap sheet. Picard's like, yeah, I know about all the B&E's, I know about all the beers you've stolen from convenience stores. I know that your planet deserves replicator technology, but does not have any. Like, uh, you're, you are imperfect, but you are mine, and so I love you still. It's sort of the vibe. And he seems genuinely touched by this. It's that unconditional shit.

Yeah. My love is a piece of love and chill for that, which is longer than us at the PC. It is not long after this that Picard gets called down to Six Bay and Beverly's like, listen, I have some important information that I will be telling you after the camera cuts away to something else. Picard's like, Beverly, don't you think it's time that you maybe take a break from anything

involving DNA sequencing? And Riker radios down and he's like, hey guys, that dramatic fulcrum that we've been talking about where the Frangies can beam Jason off the ship, it's happening! That's a Picard runs to the transport room because Jason got beamed out of some other part of the ship and Jordy and his little buddy are attempting to rematerialize him on the transporter pad, but they don't quite get him. And he's like mid-transport and Picard like comes in and tries to run up to the pad. And I guess grab the cloud of information.

What happens if he hugs the beam? Like if an arm goes into the beam and he beams away does he lose the arm? This Jason rematerialized with a third arm A third old arm like what is it possible that he would be impaled by pieces of Picard? This seems incredibly dangerous. Hey buddy. why do you have that third old arm? Oh, Transporter accident ten years ago. It's old man thought he was my dad stuck his hand right in the beam Now I got this weird third old arm pretty gross, right? Anyway, I'm a much better climber than I ever was

Let me buy you a drink. Don't worry, I stole my own. The arm that Picard loses in the transporter accident is the same one that ages, like by touching that fruit bowl on the runabout. He's been trying to get rid of that arm forever. Yeah, that arm is not as good as the other one. Yeah, it's got all this, it's got five coke nails. Picard thinks pretty quickly.

He says like, Hey, you guys have jury rigged some stuff with the subspace, something, something, and the transport or something, something. Can we turn it into the same type of thing? Damn, one buck has been using. You know, the technology, the federation has been researched and abandoned trying to make work. Can we do that in, say, five minutes? Do you remember the years of research that was put into this and then abandoned, like,

clearly, five minutes from a discovery, from a significant scientific achievement. Because why did they quit? They get buck on FaceDatmin, he's like, now I have your boy, I mean, he used this jagged knife to kill him. And it's all your fault, Picard. Ah, and they get a beat on where he is. And Picard lays in the course maximum work

when they're like, it's gonna take us 20 minutes to get there. And he says, not if we use this magical transportation technology. So presumably the amount of time it takes to implement it is substantially less than 20 minutes. Hahaha. And the first person they tested on is the captain of the flagship of the Federation. Cut to the flashback scene of the research being done on this technology. Like they're in the lab. They're like ready to make the breakthrough, but oh shit, it's five o'clock.

Quentin time, boys. The steam whistle goes off. Next week we're coming back and we're on to a different research project. It's a real shame we were so close. Oh man, that's great. So Picard beams onto the bridge of the Firingy ship and very quickly explains to the lackeys that Damon Bach has assembled. That Damon Bach has been stripped of his Damon Hood and this is not a ransom mission.

This is a Omerta mission. And they're like, fuck, this is another Dave's ex-prefeta. So they take back into custody and they let Jason go and Picard explains that, but, re-sequenced Jason's DNA. He's not really Picard's son. And he slipped up when he introduced

whatever neurological disorder Jason has. Beverly promises that through her sequencing she'll be able to fix him. But holy shit, like what are the chances that she turns him into a salamander or something? I would be terrified. Yeah, I've heard what you do with your genetic sequencing.

I'll pass. Why don't you drop me off at some starbase? I'll see if I can get in touch with Polasky. I'll be a little bit better of a track record. I'll roll the dice with the seizures. Thank you very much. I love what Jason does here in bargaining with Bach for his life. Like it made me think about if I were to ever to be a hostage, like how do you negotiate for your own life here? He's like, look man, just uh, just cover the knife with my blood

and Picard will believe I'm dead. That is not a great proposition, Jason. Like send him, send him back my torn clothing. That will be enough. I don't know how you talk yourself out of that situation, but it seems like Jason's as good as did He never really seems terrified though Right like he seems with it throughout in a fun way in a way that is like totally consistent with his character. He's He's super cool 100% of the time Yeah, he's a real cool teen. I wish I was a cool teen. Yeah No chance we abandoned that research Five minutes before seventh grade started

What if I don't tuck my t-shirt into my underpants? I am the cutest of all. You will assist us. I am the cutest of all. You are the fool. Did you like this episode, Ben? I kind of liked it. I mean, it's not a smart episode, but it's, uh, I think that it rises to the level of fun. I really like the intention of doing a season one callback. I'm really puzzled that this was that callback though. Yeah. Like of all the things.

Like, whatever happened to Demon Buck. Of all the comic books we've come up with over the course of doing this show. This is not the one I would have gone to print with. Like, if Damon Bach was so significant, like, he could have been a constant touchstone throughout the series, like the effort every season of Bach to kill Picard or his progeny. Yeah, that would have been fun. I really feel like Ben, when you, when you storycraft the idea of Picard potentially having a son and then not being used against Picard, I think that's a great movie idea. I think we've had several great movie ideas in season seven. Isn't that like kind of what the premise of search for a spark is? Well, I'm talking about it being exactly the Plot of the last TNG movie

That's true what the Picard clone But it's a but it's Picard not a son, right? Yeah, yeah Yeah, in that way it is different But the idea of using genetics as a way to to create a weakness for a main character is sort of in play here. Yeah, I agree. I don't think it gets better than how it was done here though, is the thing. I don't know why you go back to that well for a movie.

There was a shot of Bach in this episode that exposed how the Ferengy teeth work. Oh yeah. Where the camera, like when he's in Picard's office and sitting in Picard's chair, the camera gets super close and you can actually see his people teeth behind his Ferengy teeth. He's like a shark. Yeah, like there's like two rows.

Never seen that before. Yeah, not a flattering angle to shoot that close and down at Bach. And the thing is like he has a choice. Why did he get that close to the camera? If I'm face timing, I'm holding the camera a little further away than that. Do it like my parents and being totally oblivious to where the camera is pointing. Then one thing that we are certainly never oblivious about is our growing number of priority one messages. You want to check the inbox on those?

Let's do it. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement? A supplement? A supplement? A supplement. Yes, extra. message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. I need a supplement only. supplement? supplement? supplement. yes, extra.

but the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Adam, our first priority one message is of a personal nature. it's from Tony and Christie, founding members of the Remember the Who Snock Foundation. And it is for Dylan, Mindy and Res. We boldly go with you anytime. Fuck plethora. It goes like this.

Adam and Ben, we loved the Milwaukee show and we hope you enjoyed our tradition of cheese curd lays and excessive podcast fluid. Perhaps my Horgon was showing because after the show it was game on. Tandon Bakes, Men in Top Hats, Stolen Cellphones, Beligerate Prostitudes, Drunk Shemotas, closing a local 10-forward with fellow viewers. It was great. Wow.

If we had only gotten eight tenths drunk instead of 11th 10th drunk After the show I feel like an after party would have been in the cards like yeah 10 forward hang sound great I don't remember a prostitute being a part of the post show situation we were involved in I Think the issue with the Milwaukee show was that we were drinking The issue with the Milwaukee show was that we were drinking bourbon drinks that were on tap at the venue. And so while at all of the other places when we would be mid-show and somebody would put a couple of drinks on our table for us, they would be light beers.

This place they would be like a pint of bourbon. I water-falled one of my cocktails on stage and that was when the lights began to dim Yeah, this place they would be like a pint of bourbon. I Waterfalls one of my cocktails on stage and that was when the lights began to dim for me My mind got murdered out at that point Yeah That that was a great show a lot of fun. Yeah very loose That uh, that was a great show, a lot of fun. Yeah, very loose. Yeah, super loose, rascals coming strong with a P1 message there.

Yeah, do we have another P1? We do, Ben, it is from quote, I live alone age 41 with a cat. Happy now? This message is for the greatest loaf heads, drunk chief engineers, malfunctioning androids, and incongruous thespians. Message goes like this, a Vulcan high five to all in sundry, watching two slightly embarrassed hosts on the greatest gentry, all providing insight, in jokes, incomprehensible references, and indignation.

I ran out of ends. To a sometimes great show, while all you really want is that sweet sweet knuck. P.S. Fuck whichever one of Razz and Pluffie my hate. I forget now. It's hard to remember. You know what I love about that is they used every single character. I forget now does not have ending punctuation which is

great. Excellent. Say I did that kitty for us I live alone. I live alone age 41 with a cat happy now sounds like the headline to a Tinder profile that I can really get behind. You wouldn't think it would work, but opening with hostility can actually draw some people in. You had my curiosity. Now you have my interest. Well, if you have a hundred bucks laying around that you'd like to use towards the message of your choice, you can go to maximumfund.org slash gembo-tron,

where personal messages like these are $100 and commercial messages are $200. They're a great way to get the word out about your business or cause, or about a bad thing, you want to say about a pseudo-friend of yours. They are one of the great ways to help the ongoing production of this podcast. Thanks, guys. Thank you.

A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates, in a lot of great places.

Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds.

Pat Noswald. Can I get a ball-rock burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps already open.

Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Whoa, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line. And boy, what do I?

These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this off. We get on the art. Yeah, it's about terrain. Got us about to destroy humanity Hey, oh, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. Oh, we're actually we're podcasters We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality claims of the paranormal stuff like that and you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boat. We came two by two.

What do you think? Ona Ross & Kerry, available on MaximumFun or dot org. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, See you then. What's that Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? I'm gonna give it to the crew of the Ferengy Ship who... Fane complete shock when they discover that Diamond Bach is not rightfully a diamond. Like, the guy was a jail. Like, these guys did zero background. You know when you go in for a job interview, you're supposed to like look over the org chart of the company and like get a sense of what they do.

And you know, like you impress them if you come in with questions of your own. These guys did not do that. They gave him a ship and a crew. This guy's all cattle and no hat. Like we don't get that five minutes of exposition where like, he's out of jail. He's doing that post jail perp walk.

Yeah. Like the cuffs are getting taken off. He gets his bag of personal items at the kids. Yeah, and that's the cold open I want, where he's doing like chin ups on the top bunk in jail. Like yelling Picard at the rain out in the yard. Totally ripped, Farenki. So that one is the, I want to see the Farenki that just wears a vest.

Just a vest in prison task. Like tatted up ears, like, he could be the Danny Treo of Farenki. That would have been fun. Hell yeah. That's what it, like, like Bach has held it together so well, what if he had totally fallen apart? That would have been great, like that's how you make a Ferengy threatening. Like is you, is you give him that kind of edge, that post jail edge? Unhinged Feren.

Yeah. Who was your drunken mo to Adam? I'm giving it to a person slash a body part Ben. I wish I wrote down the time code here. I think you'll be able to include it in the show. But when Jason falls to the ground and goes through his seizure, you can see very pronounced floppy dick flopping around inside his pants as he does that Really? He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he- in some briefs. Yeah, right? Liza Manelli had her hand very close to that part of his thigh, too. You know what I'm saying? He's got total dick flop. I think- I do like a nice dick flop.

I do, too, but is that the time to go commando? When you know you're gonna be flopping around on the ground? Maybe it is. Maybe that guy is trying to send a message. If so, message received. And for that reason, I'm giving my Shimoda to Jason's dick. Clearly the thing having the most fun. What do we have coming up in the next episode, Ben? The next episode of season 7, episode 23, Emergence. The lives of the Enterprise crew are endangered. When the ship suddenly develops its own intelligence, do you remember this episode, Adam? Ben were playing all the hits in season 7.

We gotta have one last episode where the ship becomes extremely dangerous and or we have Holodeck fun times. This is both. Yeah. Two great tastes that taste great together. Gotta go to Verdeform City, Adam. Yeah. Yeah, next step. I don't remember many things and I remember Verdeform City for some reason. I remember Verdeform City being so great, though not as great as New Vertiform City. Oh, is it New Vertiform City? Well, no, I mean, there's two different stops on the train. Oh, jeez. Well, you really remember this one.

Look, I remember that in the Elder Lebowski being in it. That's all I know. Oh, yeah. Man said to take any rug in the place. Well, that's coming up next, Ben. Can't wait. Coming up next for us is the part of the show where we do our end credits, Ben. The part no one listens to, Adam.

The part where we think dark material for our theme, music, and interstitial music as well as Adam regusea for all our extra music. Both of the stuff do you encourage people to go to maximumfund.org slash donate to support the production of the show and also to maxfunstore.com to get all of our terrific merch items. Yeah, I mean supporting the show isn't about just supporting greatest gen in its form right now. It's about making sure that the show continues on. Series after series after series in perpetuity.

So if you are interested in the stupid thing that we do continuing, that is a way to make sure that we keep doing it. Indeed. If you've got thoughts on the episode that are the good kind you can share those on Twitter using the hashtag Greatest Janum on there is at cut for time Ben as there is at Benjamin R a HR We also have reddit groups and Facebook groups for sharing all of the memes that are good enough to print And with that we will be back at you next time in another great episode of Star Trek the Next Generation and an episode of the greatest generation that is hidden behind a brick in a wall. What's the over under on I think they can just... I think it's up. You'll be got to got to got to got to got to got to... What's the over-under on Lebowski drops for the next dip?

I just might play the audio of the film, the big Lebowski, instead of having an episode. I'm going to set the over-under at 9.5 and I think we're gonna go over on that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha