The Group Chat - #61 - Yumi Got The WORST Haircut Ever

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

Come Watch the YouTube for All of us together being goofy! VISUAL PODCAST - "THE GROUP CHAT" on Youtube See You There!

Grimmish. The vodka. It's only him in a big, like, stadium. This is episode. We're doing a live performance for only the purple guy from a McDonald's commercial. Do you think that was freaking, freaking, like, marketing tactic that they, like, planted it in. No way. I saw the, I think I saw the first one in it.

It was, like, a total accident. It just spewed. It just kept progressing. I don't get it. I'm going to be honest. I don't get it at all. It's awesome. I think it's really funny.

It's really funny. It's really funny. It's really funny. You don't need to get it. It started off. That's like an old thing to say. Yeah. That's like an old thing to say.

It's like a shock humor. Like it was very just like abrupt. Yeah. They would be like laying on the parking lot with it spilled. It looks like they just got like knocked out or something. Dude, some of them are like fucking like. Yeah. Dude.

Oh my God. It's worse and worse. Bro, I saw one today. His arms were up here in chains and he had two cups on his hands. Like he literally got like. Game to bro, it was like, it is nasty. He was dripping. Like, it was not-

Would you go to that commitment, Grunk? Would you take it out of a little? That would be really funny. Like, honestly, yeah, I think so. I've had a few ideas that are pretty up there for... Dude. I'm gonna call Titor out. I remember I was watching your stream yesterday and you're like, I'm gonna do the most crazy, shocking thing, like, ever.

I'm gonna like have my guts be's feeling chilling out. And then I saw it and he just went, ah! No, that wasn't hard. I was going to make an actual separate TikTok.

I just tried it on stream. The TikToks I've seen are that, of that stupid grimace. Throwback to five hours ago when we said today we were going to go to the fucking woods. Yeah, we didn't do any of that.

We got way too busy cutting hair. Yeah, we started cutting hair. The worst hair I've ever seen, but now it's like beautiful and perfect. Dude, oh my God. I mean, you might think it looks kind of bad right now

and that's like valid. Like, you can think that's fine. But don't judge it until you saw what it looked like earlier today. from sports clips. I don't even want to get into it, man. Not yet.

Just the worst. It's the worst. Let's get into it after we talk about the sponsor of today's episode. GamerSups. Thank you. Use code group for 10% off. Oh, GamerSups. We have something crazy going on in the near future,

so make sure you guys are consistently using that code. Please use it. Oh, please. Oh, please. Please. Oh, please. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What? My fucking cameras fell. We did indeed just get done probably 15 minutes ago cutting Yomi's hair for about two and a half hours. Yeah. I think it looks great. Honestly, I think right now how it looks, looks fucking good.

What do you, if you grunk, what do you think? Unbiased, drunk, how bad? I mean, like, like. Unbiased, I did it. It looks good. Genuinely, from what it was, yeah, it's good. All thanks to me and Nick tag team in your heart. Yeah.

I'll admit that it could be worse. I don't know how many times I don't know how many terms Tanner told me. He's like, yeah, we're tag teaming this guy right now. I'm like, how many times you can put some tag team and a guy with you? The hair that I got from sports clips, I'd rate like a negative $100 million. It was so. Yeah, you rated a one of their 10 and Larry was like, dude, that's too generous still. I know.

Was it actually $30? Yes, dude. Because I left a, it was $26. It was $26 and not to $4 tip. $4 tip. You rounded it up. You just had to. Wow.

You just had to. But I should have done nothing. I should have like shit my pants in the chair and smeared it all over the place. It should have been cleaned up. It was what I should have done. It was called slugging. Dude, it's crazy. It's crazy that that's not even like Tanner or my job.

And we did a better job. You did it better. You guys have no idea. Unless you saw the pictures on Twitter or any, it was in, like, It was comically bad. It was actually, it looked like a movie bit. Like, I looked like a character's a movie whose job was to be a moron. Like, my movie.

Oh, you didn't even hear. My dad literally said, hey, Isaac, Isaac, Isaac, look up dumb and dumber. Look up dumb and dumber on images right now. Hold that phone. Hold it next to him. Hold it next to him. Yep, that's me.

That's you. I don't remember. I haven't. What did you say? What? Oh, I said he looked like. Simple Jack. It looks like...

I was trying to remember. I was trying to remember. I'm just going to hold up a picture on my hands. It'll be easier of what it looked like earlier today. I'd like the peak. Like this was me as soon as I left the sports clips in my car, pissed off, sweating, fuming. It looks like...

That is a $30 hair cut. Look how lumpy. It looks like I have a tumor in my hair. The tumor on the side. They chipped you over that thing. You have a triangle. That triangle. Tanner.

Nick fixed this. They fixed it. Turn around. I want to see the back. The back is actually like my proudest work. Look at that shit. Wow. We killed that shit.

That's just good. Believe it or not, it doesn't look like it, but that's faded. That is faded a little bit. Listen, you're laughing at him. You just said it doesn't look like it, though. You just said it doesn't look like it. Look, it doesn't look like it. What are you?

That's a fade. It's supposed to look like it. It's not supposed to be like it goes one, one in 25, one and a half, 175. Exactly. It looks good. I like it a lot, personally. It was bad, though.

All right. So you like it so much that you would switch haircuts with if it was possible. No. No. Oh my God. Which one? The one that I just showed the camera, the one that I posted from outside sports clips is at 18,000 likes right now. Holy shit.

That's hidden mainstream Twitter, dude. That is big. People that have no idea who you are or who we are. People that are prepared to get a haircut tomorrow are now scared, Yemmy said. Absolutely terrified. Yeah, like looking at people that, like, recently liked it and, like, none of them follow me. Like, a couple. So, here's the thing.

Why is my camera, man? My camera is amazing. I mean, what lens do you use? Because your lens is, like, the cleanest of everyone. You also use an 8-6400, don't you? Yeah, so I don't remember exactly. I think it's a Sigma. It's just some Sigma lens.

I think that's the name of it. Sigma male body. Popular lens. Or you don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Go ahead. Mine's good though with like the auto focus and stuff.

So like if I wanted to plug gamer subs, it does really good auto focus. Damn. I might need your lens, man. I might need your lens because- Yeah, I'll hook you up. I think it was like a $400 or $500 lens. It was really worth it. It's a static lens.

So the aperture is like really low. So that the autofocus and like the, you know, the focal range is really good for keeping everything focused. Sweet. I was going to say about your hair that honestly when it was like that, when I was like that, when I was trying to do the fade and then Tanner and I were trying to blend it and we didn't have the proper tools to blend it. I genuinely thought that you were going to have to walk into a fucking supercuts or something with that haircut.

I genuinely thought it was, I thought that it was game the fuck over. Because I genuinely didn't know what to do at that point. Like I was thinking to myself, I'm like, okay, they like take their fingers and they like hold the hair up and cut. So I'm going to show. I'm going to show. This was halfway through the haircut.

That was what I was like That's like Valjeetia right there That was pure trust The process Like my entire life was in their hands That haircut is like what Like mafia bosses

Like send out to get killed Like that's the type of haircut That's the type of haircut That's level one That's level one recruit That's not even like A little bit boss Can I want to

I want to see this one real quick I Me and Nick saw first hand Yommies like horrible with barbershops And just like General hair places Because we went to another

sports clips and the lady had a red like closed eye like she had one eye her eye was like red she was like pink and shit it was like yeah she's like you don't want me

cutting your hair yeah yeah it's I don't I don't get it I'm not gonna get her flights with Nick and I'm not gonna get a hair coat with like yummy we wanted to get her fixed her eye was swollen shut

she was like you wouldn't want me to cut your hair and got gang green all over it's so syphilis. Dude, it was so weird. I think all of us have something bad luck. I don't know what minds is. I don't know what grunx is.

I don't know what. Mine is definitely here because they and I talked about this so many times today, but they pushed me back to spots. They delayed me an extra 45 minutes. And that's why I ended up with that lady in the first place. I wasn't supposed to at all. It was just really unfortunate.

Shame on her. Tell the podcast about the guy that was next to you. You said this multiple times today. But the guy that like rubbed it your face almost. It's just been my entire day has revolved around this shitty haircut and being like pissed off.

So like the guy next to me is having the time of his life with this lady getting his haircut. He's got like a hot towel on his face. He's getting literally, I'm not even getting a theragone across the shoulders and on his back. And she's cutting his hair

and she's getting like everything perfect. And like he's finishing up and he's like, every time I leave here, I feel so handsome. And I'm just sitting there with this lady that's like running across my forehead

and ruining my hair cut. I feel so handsome. He got the MVP. He got the full MVP and everybody around me. Four people sat down after me and left before me. My haircut took two hours and four people cut my hair. I don't know if you knew that, Grunk, but four people cut my hair. Because she kept messing it up.

You got gang banged. Yeah. You got gang banged. You got a sports guy. And then you got kebubbed by Gunk. By Tanner and me. You got a lot. I was getting my hair cut for five hours today.

Five. Five hours of my day we're getting a fucking haircut. I think your hair looks like the life of a YouTuber. It looks good right now. I'm curious. That's unemployed bullshit that I did. I wonder what it would look like if you're sweaty or something. Like your hair's a little wet.

Not good. Or if it rains. No, I think his hair would look okay. I just have to keep looking up because if I like that, you need to take a shower. I want to see what it looks like. I learned something today, Nick. You weren't confident, but that's not promising because Jesus Christ.

Confidence is great. Confidence is great. Well, execution was just like shit, man. Dude, I'm not gonna lie. You fucked him up. Dude, that photo he showed, at that point you were like, trust me, I know what I'm doing. And then Tanner has to fix it all the way.

He was Tanner and me. Tanner touched it. I touched it. It was back and forth. All right, let's go figure that out. Who did the most work? Who did the most fixing, huh? Tanner?

I'm going to get a number one. Or did Nick? I don't know. I would just like, to be honest. Sometimes we just go back and forth. He'd be like just let him have it. And then I'm like, all right, give me some of them.

And I'd start. I kept out of yupe. Yeah, we ali upped and I hit him to the back. Yeah, like the Harlem Globetrotters and he was, his head was our court.

And then I eventually got in there and I was telling you guys, dude, I was grabbing a hair. There was one point where you had the comb and the scissors like, look, and you started to do you. No, Nick, you were stressing me out,

bro. Like, you weren't, you weren't doing this and cutting. You were doing this and cutting. I think it was so, it was so fucking funny. The funniest part is that it got so bad that I started getting text

messages on my phone of people who were watching the stream. People got mad. Stop him now. Take away all of his little gadgets in terms of cosmetologist. They were like, stop cutting the hair horizontal. Quit with the

shears. Every time, or no, every time you kept pushing me up with the clippers. You just kept going, wrang and then people like stop, put the clippers away after my hair was like a mushroom on top. It was like a mushroom tip. And I was still like, like, you could still get it. He hit him with the clippers.

It's a thing, Larry. I have to say it's, you, you, you criticize my confidence, right? You want to come next. Not criticizing your confidence. I'm criticizing what you're using your confidence for. You're saying, telling you yummy, I'm about to fix you dog. And then you, and then you just fuck him. You, you fucking, you fucking, and then you fuck him.

Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry, I'll, Tim stamp. Larry. Time stamp. Time stamp. What is this time stamp? Time stamp. Because you said the effort like four times in a row.

And then you licked your fingers and did something crazy. I won't know that. I will say this. I will say this. The confidence was there. And even though the execution didn't look like I was, you know, in barber school for three years, he still looks good. And even if I had to throw the ball at the backboard and then Tanner had to do

like some LeBron James shit. I did a little dog. Dude, yeah. That's one thing with Nick. I will always admire your confidence. No matter what it is, you act like you know exactly what you're doing.

Even if you have no idea. Oh my God. My camera, dude, it is going crazy. But I will say this at the end of all the confidence. Let me just say this. Dude,

it's like this. It's like this. Sorry, little kids. I'm going to cut you. You'll be saying it today. Sorry, little kids. We're moving up.

What the confidence means? We're moving up. I would say I'm going to give him a fade. but I'm from Austin and that's all right What I'm going to do is cut his hair With the razor's sharp object But let me just say this I'm going to pull out the clippers

I'm going to fuck him up It's making too much sense man You got it And then I'm going to fix it All right listen Listen listen All I can say Yami

Is that the confidence Let me just say this We always go up Okay And we end somewhere Only up for me here. Yeah, your confidence is insane. Like, when we had to drive in Japan, you were so confident.

And you were like, you're like, we're going to be driving on the right side of the road. It's going to be okay. And I'm like, no, we're not, dude, we're on the left. We're like, oh, yeah. It's still going to be fine. We're going to drive on the left. It's going to be okay. Oh, yeah.

And if we were driving, you're like, dude, it's fine. I don't know why you're stressed. I'm like, Nick, that was like the tiniest road of all the time. Like, we are going down this alleyway in a car is to like reverse backwards and like get into like a ditch to let us buy. And he was like, it's fine, man. Like, this is normal. This is how people drive here. And I'm like, this is not okay.

And it was fine. And we had a good time. And look, we survived. Did we blow up? We didn't blow up. Larry and Tanner had the greatest time of their lives. I tapped the mirror a little bit. But that was it.

It was a little kiss. Don't let that guy see this. He's going to come after you. Oh, yeah. What knows what you look like? By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way. That's why I didn't want to drive it again. You guys know about the Austin Zero Killer?

Fuck it. There is a big serial killer here in Austin. It's real. I'm not like, it's real. But it's in, it's, it's, it's happening in the city. It's happening in the city. There's a total of three bodies right now. And the only thing they all have in common is I think they all have John in their name.

They're not, this is not a meme. This is not a joke. Oh, is it not a joke? There were attempted abductions as well all throughout Austin. Right? You're talking about it. I'm going to post some news article. John.

Why, that's kind of chilling. That is actually chilling. That's spooky. No, this is real. What? I just want to say because, let me just say this.

You know, just. Let me just say this. I'm sorry, little kids. But I'm going to kill John today. It's real. It's real. It is real.

I saw that. Yeah. So there's been, there's been four murders. Three Johns and one. Yeah, there's one Clifton. Yeah, the Clifton. I don't know.

they're all male and they're all like 30 to 40. That's crazy. Yeah. They get targeted at, I think it was like at parks, entrances. It was the Lady Bird Lake. Yeah. And then they just get dumped.

Wow. I really hate that, to be honest. That's weird. You hate that? I'm glad you don't like people like a murder. No. No.

The thought of just like going about your normal day and then all of a sudden you bump into someone and they just take you and then kill you. Like, that is. That's not cool. Yeah. Isn't that like not chill? Is that not chill?

Yeah. What's, I don't know if these are happening in daytime or these are happening like in nighttime. They don't. I don't think they know. The fact that they don't know. Are they finding the bodies like floating? Yes. They're finding them in the water.

This is like a crazy get-together spot. I've seen people hang out here like on videos. Like in kayaks and they drink and they get drunk. Can we not go outside for like at least two months? No. We don't even go. So I was watching this and they were trying, there was like people that were trying to figure out. There was like a map.

And someone was trying to find out where a. attempted abductions were, you know, like the guy targets specific people after a certain part of time, I think. It's after they get a, it's after they get a haircut at sports clubs. No. Do you think it's coincidence that three of them are named John? Yes. No. Because one of them's Jonathan, one of them's John and one of them is Jason John.

And yeah, and then one of those name Clifton, I don't think there's a correlation, dude. It might not be a correlation. But here's the thing, though, Clifton, Clifton was 40. And the other ones were, like, around 30. What, so there's going to be another Clifton that's 40 that dies. I think that, I think that Clifton over here probably, did a little some different. No, dude, who has B for the name?

Like, what? Unless his dad's name was John or something? And his dad, like, abused him? Maybe. What do these people all have in common? I just saw, okay, I'm sorry, we're getting into, like, territory of like cases and all this shit. But I just...

Okay, wait, wait, wait. I've been seeing a lot of them on my feed recently, but there's another case that was kind of crazy to me of this family. The dad had the same haircut that you had, uh, yummy. I'm not going to lie, but that's totally unrelated. But it was a family. They had 12 kids

and they were all like chained up, uh, on their beds. And they had like, like, ripped up really gross clothes and then... And then, like, another sister escaped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, one of the girls escaped. weren't even supposed to be able to find out they lived in a normal neighborhood.

Yeah, they were like all behaving normal when they were outside and all that. Dude, that reminds me if you ever heard of the like horror movie called Barbarian? Yes. No. Yes. It's not that good, but it reminds me of that.

It is not that good, but it is really, it is really screwed up. What's not good about it? Like, just bad of the CGI. Yeah, it's just like a, like a easy horror movie kind of. Yeah, dude, the movie, spoiler alert, if you are going to watch a barbarian, don't listen to this part, but like basically

this guy like traps his daughter, I guess his first daughter or wife or something in the basement and then he just keeps like keeps procreating with the same person Yeah, it's like an incest farm It's really gross. It's like not even a good movie.

In lighter news, a chimp who spent entire life inside indoor lab in awe after singing open sky for the first time. Isn't that crazy? A chimp spent his entire life inside an indoor lab and he finally saw the sky. Then he was like,

it's so awesome. I like, it's so, dude, it's so, I've seen animals that are in captivity, like get released and it's like the most normal thing of all time. Just like the sky, but it always makes them like amazing.

I got to find, I got to find this one video. I was watching. So I had this like really emotional morning when I was watching these like, these like dogs like be free from their like cages and like all this shit. There's this one of a horse that got freed and it was like, it could finally walk. in like free grass without any restraint.

Ooh. The horse was like a little suspicious. It was like walking, it was creeping up. It sniffed the grass a little bit. And then he went, and it started fucking this, and it started running all over the place. It was the greatest video.

Like those videos make me so happy. My favorite horse video is, there's like multiple of them. When you're like spraying it with the hose and they're like spinning a lot, like and they like fast forward it and they speed it up and it plays that Kanye song. You know the one with the bears

where they're scratching the best. Yeah, they do the same one with the horse spinning getting his butt washed by water. This song is called On-site. There's also another thing. What? Floor is yours, man. Spotlight. There's another thing that horses do where they run and then like kick the air and then fart.

Like I've seen it on T-a-K-A-K. Oh, yeah, that video. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a dog one, farts on dog. and kicks tree and runs away. But there's that one, and then I saw another one where the horse just runs and kicks the air and then farts and runs away.

It's like, apparently that's the thing they do. What do they do? They stem. Is it like a boost? They like run faster? Or horsepower. Did you guys hear about that other billionaire that died, by the way? There's another billionaire that died in a car in a car crash.

Are they taking out? Were they chauffered? I don't know. I don't know, but some people are making some corny ass jokes online. They're like, or is there like a base person with like a real death note going on in this world? Like, oh, that's, yeah. Is there like a real person with a death note right now in the world? Is there like an ideal man with me?

Yeah. Is there a stinky? Is there a bass guy ripping away a father from his family? He was like, Professor Bill? There's no way to build him. billionaires die back to back, right? Like, there's got to be something deeper, right? I mean, that is kind of rare, though.

I was looking at a graph. There's this random graph. It just appeared on my... Isaac loves looking at the most, like, insane. Dude, no, I'm not going to get to. I'm not going to get to it. It was just, this is harmless. This graph was just how many billionaires are in each, like,

country or continent, blah, blah, blah. And there's, like, I think for every... I think there's, like, 280 billionaires in, like, let's say like Russia or something and like 450 in America and blah blah blah and dude there's like barely any

so when two die back to back is kind of like okay what's going on there's barely any that you know about but like are they correlated why were they billionaires the two then that died what made them agree

what industry were they in no I'm not saying they're correlated that all I don't think they were like whatsoever Jesus bro there's 2,640 billionaires dude it's gonna it's 19s

19 times the amount that there was in 1987. Do you know how, like, in the next, like, 20 years, there's going to be so many billionaires. So, millionaires is going to become the new millionaire. You know, when you think of millionaire back in, like, the 1980s, you're like, that guy has at all. There's going to be many YouTubers that are billionaires. Like, Markiplier, fucking Mr. Beast.

Like, they're going to be billionaires probably. Yummy, too, yummy. Oh, yeah, those guys are cool. Those two guys. I don't know, dude. That's going to be, that's a long hike. Can we talk about how... Can we talk about how...

Billionaire? Oh, my God. You're talking about Isaac, like, when you're talking about something, he denies it. Or he's existence or whatever. And then later on, he agrees that it exists. And then pretends, like, the entire time, he, like, knew that it existed. Like, when we were cutting Yumi's hair, he's, like, shear. Blending shears. She said they don't exist.

And then he walks away. And then he comes back. I thought you were trying to give him a fade with thinning shears. I thought that's what you were trying to say. I don't know what a thing is. I don't know what the fuck, like, what you were talking about. You know what I'm talking about that they have teeth

Yeah, it's like a comb, thinning shears To get rid of like Those blend They're blending shears, bruh. They're the same thing. I think they're the same fucking thing then It might be. They're the ones with the teeth, right?

It looks like two combs It looks like yeah. It feels like it blends They're like crimping. Yeah, and it's like crimping. Sometimes it hurts. You use them on these sides I'm here with this.

Use them on my hair with this. If you pull it. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I mean like if, yeah. How much it was actually? pretty expensive. My moms are like rainbow and they're like 400 bucks. Can you have a millionaires? Just the normal

shears? Can Tanner and I be the house barbers from now on? No more paying money. You guys come to us. And every single time we have a clock, we have a timer, and to see how fast we can actually get it done. So it's like, okay, be real.

Be real. If my hair was as long as it normally is, how long would it take for you to do this again? From it being that long. I don't think that long at all. 40 minutes stops. But you didn't scissor cut that much on top. Like,

that would be a lot of scissor cutting. I don't think it would be that bad, but I also think like we genuinely just fucked up the fade. No, the fade's perfect.

I think that we did it, but it was like the fade, you should be able to do a fade with the buzzer. You shouldn't have to like use scissors for it. You should just be able to do it with the buzzer.

You should have to use sisters. Dude, thinning shears at sallies where we were are only 20 bucks. We could have gone some. Man, it's okay It's Sally. Sally's the hair salon.

You know about it? Yeah, Sally's still a seashell. I mean, people are saying it's their bad quality, but like better than nothing, really. Yeah. Some of them get really expensive. Like, these are 90 bucks. My mom's are like four, oh, she bought a set, 400 bucks for the set. So with like scissors, blending shoes.

They probably get better, too. They probably get better. My stylist has a flipping golden scissor. The golds is like, it's like the golden key to the city. If it were hair. Like cuts up. Dude, do those exist? Think about that.

What? A golden key that unlocks every door in the city. Oh yeah, skeleton key? Yeah, skeleton key. The master key. The hero of the city gets it and you can do whatever he pleases. I have to say this man, barber, like, scissors and stuff like that are very expensive.

Isaac and I, when we were getting our haircuts back in New York City when we used to go there, there was just one guy who would go from different. barber's, like he would go there and like open this briefcase. There's an old Japanese man. He would open a briefcase and there were, there were like cutters, clippers worth thousands of dollars in them for the for the barbers to buy. Okay, I just posted a picture of the Cash Show Millennium Series offset scissors six and a half inch. $1,740 for one spare scissors. Yeah.

Yeah. What do they do? What does it do? What does it do? Yeah, actually. I just, let's see. It is born from the pursuit of purity in form and function. Using the latest,

uh, security technology. They just sound words. Powdered steel, fused under pressure, uh, gives exceptional sharpness to the system. Wait a minute.

Why haven't we done shit with nanobots? Not beef prices. What do you mean nanobots? We've been on that. Huh? Story post-file. Uh, Frick nanobots.

I remember seeing nanobots years and years ago, but I don't think we've done a single thing with them now. It got blanketed by the government, bro. Nanobots were being used to, like, cure cancer and shit. Oh, like, that they go inside of your bloodstream or something. Yeah. Bro, this is a wholesale website.

That shit is probably way more than 1700. Oh, my God. This is insane. Oh, they're Japanese. Are you saying using nanobots with hair? Yeah, that would be crazy, right? little bugs like cutting your hair. Oh my god.

Dude. It's like a horde of hair. It's like it'll give the illusion because they're, they're so small. It'll give the illusion that your hair is just like shrinking. Like slowly, it's like forming on its own. And like,

oh my goodness, that's like crazy. Would they even be capable of doing like cutting hair? Yes, bro. It's insane. They can do anything. It's actually like. What's up?

Yeah, I mean, that one really bad picture of like your hair when, you said like the world was in our hands when like you know what I mean like the rare shit yeah yeah yeah Pat God responded on Twitter and said

looking like if I jumped on his head he would poof and a coin would pop out I think that he's calling you a Gumba I think that's what that means he looks like a Guba like naturally normally like from the front too not like from the bag with the bad air cut just like his face in general

he can't even defend himself he just from the back yeah back shot You're going to talk about the packout tweet? Yeah. Dude, this is so cool. Like, hair stuff now. I'm like interested.

I can't believe that there's like a crazy-ass market. I think that should be a stylist. That'll be real. If you guys wanted to come my hair next time and I had to, maybe. All right. And the next time we get to give you a kiss. What if you guys get really good at it? You should do naked barber.

Like a naked barber. He's like, he's like mid-cutting. He goes, yay, thank you for the song. Dude, being able to cut hair is such like a good thing to have. It's such a good skill to have. Like being able to cut hair.

Oh, cutting hair? Yeah, like friends, family. We definitely should invite Brandon. We should get Brandon. Let's get Brandon over. And the barber. You know, Brandon? Oh, that guy.

I'm the barber. Get him over. I actually wanted to go. I wanted to go to the shop. I wanted to go try it out. There was this guy who ran a Instagram meme page who tried.

traveled and went and got it himself. And I think all they did was just like, like, he did it like, but naked, but he has shirt on. And then all they do is just like walk up to him and then cut in this hair and then just and then do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. And then cut his hair again.

And then pop-pup-pup-pup-pup-pup-pup-pah. So you're, you want a dude, you want a dude to flash his wiener at here? Dangy, this thingy. Yeah. It's a big giant ding-dong. Yeah, well, I'm getting a cut. Have you seen those like 70-cent shake?

in India, those YouTube videos, where they'll just like walk up to a guy on the side of the road and it'll just like a straight razor and just... Dude, shaving videos, I sleep to those. So good. Yeah, where they make the whole, where they actually make the shaving cream themselves. Oh yeah, they do.

Oh, yeah, and there's no music. And are you just... Yeah, it's like, okay, I'm making it sound worse, but... It's just like... It's just that really crunchy, it's like... Yeah. Yep. Dude.

Hell no. It sounds like wind. Hell no. Have you seen where they light the guy's head on fire and smack the shit out of it? It's like an Indian thing. And they're like, and then they're like, I don't know. What about the guy who puts like see through gel and he like molds a haircut?

Oh, yeah. He makes a mind crack for him or something. And they go zh. It's so weird. It has like all the weird emojis on there. You gotta be so bored. Why? What about fun?

Do that? It just takes so much time. I'm a proponent for Big Tee and Willys. Tea and Willys barbershop. Come on in. Dude, first time cutting hair, like, it's not bad, right? Pretty impressive.

But, to be honest, let's be real here. You guys have, you guys have cosmetology running in your family. Like, all of you, your family would be doing this shit. So it's like, it's in your jeans. I did pick up a few techniques like with the comb. Is your mom never cut your hair, dude? No. I'm going to tell you what my dad did.

I'm going to tell you what my dad has done for me for all the years that he's ever cut my hair. It was either he cut my hair like fucking curious George or he did a one on the side and I left the top completely long. There was no fading. There was no nothing like that. Yeah. That's how I want to do it too. Yeah, but you guys had a lot of good. Back in my day, buddy.

There was no fade. It was just a comb over and that's it. It was classy. It was nice and clean. Don't ever. I'm going to be the fade one trick. That's it. You come to me for anything other than a fade, you're getting a fade.

Like, that's it. I was saying earlier, or I was saying in the car, but the, uh, the worst looking places with the longest lines of people have the best fucking haircuts. Yeah. No matter how long they take, it'll always, it's like a guaranteed, like, you would come out fucking ice cold. A million bucks. A billion at that. I went to two barbershops where I grew up. And the first one had bullet holes all on the side of the building.

It was my friend's cousin Everybody knew him Everybody in the entire town knew who he was Like just knew him by name and everything It was actually kind of insane And then the second one that I went to They never turned the lights on The lights were just to be off

And they'd actually cut hair with the lights off Do you're slapping? No, there's no slapping But we walked in and they just had the lights off And some old really, really old white dude came in with like a ponytail of like beautiful white luscious hair And then they like fucked him up

And then walked out bald They ruined him I don't even know why he wanted to get it cut. It looks so good. That's why no lights does to you. You just can't see. We were just bored. Maybe they couldn't afford the bill.

I don't know. But I swear to God, like in those barbershops that I went to, no less than like two, three-hour haircuts. Like, they treated it like it was surgery. Like, they were actually just be in there. Like, wow. Yeah.

Yeah, they're insane. I mean, it was good. They didn't care about their craft, bro. They were like human-sized nanobots. Yes. Human-sized. Human-sized nanobots. Complete.

where I grew up, bro, where I'm from, we had these barbershops, but they were like so niche that if you were to ever go in there, it'd be like you were a night going into like a bar full of angry pirates and barbarians. The music would stop, everyone would look at you and it'd just be like a nightmare.

Yep. Well, was the niche with yours? Was it like fades? Like if I'm assuming if I walked in with my long hair, or like if drunk walked in with, Everyone knew each other. Everybody. Everyone knew each other.

They were all. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Isaac, you just reminded me. Holy throwback to like 2019. Isaac and I walked. So, Isaac, like, he lives,

how would you describe where we went to go get our hair cast that one time, Isaac? We basically Isaac and I walked into this one. Where were we? We were in a town. I don't even remember this. We were in a town one over from where you live. and Isaac and I walk into this barber we walk all the way down

past these dudes that are already getting their haircuts because there's no word for, there's no one to answer like where to get a haircut here and we walk in and these two dudes look at us and he's like, you guys are here for haircuts? And we're like, yeah. So Isaac walks all the way back to the front. I sit down and then he's like, get your boy, get your boy. And then I tell Isaac

I'm like, come down, come down. And then we both get haircuts together. We, I'm going to be honest, we were the only two white dudes in that entire place. We were, like, like, I remember. I found his black fold. Open your mouth.

It was either Hispanic or like anything else, but just we were the only two dudes. We just stood out like sore thumbs. And it was funny. Fucking killed the haircuts, but still like, I remember Isaac. He was just sitting at the front plane

clashed on his phone. I was on Clash of Clans and you had a new haircut. And I waved them over. We got some pretty good haircuts. And then we ate hot dogs or whatever. we ate. Ooh, don't even start talking about fucking hot dogs.

There was a bang. Oh my God. Wait, Tanner. Wait, did you have one? Because I brought you back. Did we go there? I don't remember. No, you didn't give me a hot dog.

I love hot dogs. Oh, dude. We got to go back to where I'm from. Please. Crazy hot dog stand. You know what I'm talking about now, Isaac, right? Yeah, I do. I remember.

I think I patched that. The big thing that was like, like for me and like my friends, it was you had to get a brand new haircut before like every, like, decently, like, competitive basketball game. So anytime we were playing, like, a rival or it was like a home game and we knew it was going to be like a lot of people were going to be there,

barbershop right after school every single time. And I would go just to hang out, like, with my friends and everything. But they would always try to give me to go, like, actually get a haircut at the barber, but it just wouldn't work for my hair. Because they were like, they're like, you got to get lined up. You got to get a tape fade, bald fade. I was like, dude, it's not going to work with my head. It just wouldn't look right.

My other friend did it, and it looked fine, but he had his hair like up. Like, just naturally, like, with no, nothing in it, it would just naturally go, like, backing up, like, with the part and everything. It looks fine. But I got a big-ass head, so this shit wouldn't look right. Aw, Cookie. Got a big old head. I'm with you with that one on that one. What?

Big-ass round head. I got big-ass head, too. It was fun. It was fun. I miss grunk when he had really short hair. Dude, you had the shortest hair. I'm the shortest, tiniest hair. The shortest, tiny, his little hair.

You looked like such a nerd. You looked like such a weave when you had like short hair in those glasses, those dorky glasses you got on. Wait, how about you leave him alone, man? He didn't do anything. All right, stuff, Willie. All right, stuff, Willie. That's like such a twerk. Yeah, Tanner.

Yeah. All right. Pull out the sponge on head, man. Come on, man. I was thinking of some crazy thoughts today. Uh-oh. All right. All right.

How dark is it? It's not dark at all. But like one day, it'll be my 100 millionth birthday. It'll be 100 million years since I was born. What are you talking about, dude? This is the craziest thing. It is lasting that long, bro. The universe is the universe is around for like 10 times that.

Earth has at least two billion years left. At least two. Like, many. Life on Earth? No, not life on Earth. No. In like 2 billion years, isn't like our galaxy going to collapse with another galaxy?

I don't know. I don't even think anything's going to be. Dude, I so bad want to know what how the fuck was this shit made? How? How was doing? If you actually look at your hand long enough and you like really start to look at like what's making my hands? You start to do it.

Yeah. Dude, look how detail this shit is. But everybody, look at their hands right now. How do I know to make my hand open and close? close. Because it's, it's, it's I can feel my brain. I feel a little guy

in my head pulling the screen to make my heart going on. I don't want to feel anything. It's a guy, he's like, he's like, he's like asleep. He's like pulling a lever up and down. Yeah, I'm like Pinocchio.

Dude, in about a hundred trillion years, the last light will go out in the universe. A hundred trillion. Dude, I think I'm going to be 100% honest here. And we can put it on the internet for it to be out there forever. I don't even think that the world is going to be around in like 500 years. I don't think 500.

500. 500 years. I don't think anybody's going to be on Earth, bro. I don't know, man. 500? I think that we're... You know what? I'll join you with you.

I can see that. People on Earth. Yeah, 500 hell no. That's too long. Think about what was 500 years ago to date, grown. I'm pretty sure, like, the models were, like, getting... I think about when the first... I'm going to double down.

375 years we're all done. Okay, but think about... Think about how much longer we're living now than it was before. Back then it was like, all right, you step on a rusty, like, fucking nail. All right, you're dead. like next week. Can I say something? Medication for it.

And now you're like, your foot's black. Like, it's just like, that's it. All right. Can I say, all right, we have like virtual reality,

right? We got nanobots, okay? 100 years ago, the Titanic sank. They were still riding like, they were still riding their bicycles with big giant wheels

and that's so. And that's still going to communicate with their family. Like, well, here, just counter, counter argument.

Counter argument. Our technology is advancing so fast that we could reverse the effects that have been done to Earth. Thoughts. Last night I watched Wally and I was like, Get his ass out of it.

We're like in a college lexer. I watch Wally. Bro. That's just so crazy when you look at all those big dumb idiots that are like sitting floating on like those things and they have like no bone mask and stuff like that. Like that could be us in like 2000 years. That could be us.

Yeah. It would be so convenient. The Apple goggles is the first step towards. that? Oh my God. The Apple. Those are, dude, okay, those I are personally excited for. Yeah, I know.

I want to wait until they get cheaper to vibe. No, there's definitely, there's that. Actually, I watched, I forgot who's podcast on it. And they said that they're definitely, oh, it was an ex-Oculus developer.

Glogan Paul. And he said that, he said that they were going to make like a cheaper probably. Like right now, because they always do that. Wait, where they start was it expensive? and then they make a two for a share. Well, not everyone, but I heard people say,

like, this is going to be the next, like, iPhone type thing where, like, no, everyone's going to be like, what? That's too much. No one's going to get that. And then everyone, like, dude, Apple is like, I don't know why people keep on freaking out when Apple does something crazy. Because, like, Apple first removes the fucking iPhone,

the headphone jack, and everyone fucking bitched about it. Then they released the AirPods. Everyone's like, dude, those things are really fucking ugly. I'm not going to ever go there. And then they do that. And then they, they remove the fucking block. Remember the charging block? For like, remember, they made all these changes.

And everyone shit on the idea. They hated all the innovation. They hated it all that way. And then they fucking go. And now it's the norm. It's the same thing with this, bro. They had a yummy's haircut, but look at it now. Look at it.

Everyone loves it. It is crazy. And you got to remember that, like, consumers don't know what they want, bro. Well, that's true. But also, all of these companies and everybody that runs them, like, the reason they even got to where they're at in the first place was purely off of, like, an insane,

like an unreal amount of risk that you couldn't even imagine. Like they were doing the most like crazy shit to be out there and it worked and they're going to continue to do that. And so the company is either multi-billion's worth or completely under. They're not going to stop taking risks and doing like... Who? Apple. Apple is worth like a trillion dollars.

Yeah, I mean, obviously. But I mean, like in the beginning they weren't. No, no. It's true that because now they're actually looking to manufacture their own parts rather than source them out from Samsung. That's what they did, for example. with their chip. They make their own chip now instead of a lot. Those those costs

a lot. You got to make a lot and they all cost, you know. That M-I dude, the power in an M-2 chip is absurd. And isn't it like they literally cannot physically make a better one? No. I actually think that's

quite that might be the case. And that's why the fucking laptops are so expensive because the amount of like, I think it's a CPU. The amount of power in that little thing is absurd. That's what she said, bro. Okay. M2 is a drive.

The power in that little thing. I thought M2 is memory. No, it's CPU. Oh. And M2 chip. An M2 chip is a CPU. The thing about Apple, though, is that they run their image as, because they are the technology or innovator or whatever.

They're like the luxury brand of technologies, you know. And if you don't believe that, I mean, think about the fact that they sold wheels for their cases or like desktop cases that were $700 fucking dollars $700. And they do shit like that so that you can see like oh it's a high price. I mean it's more higher end shit. Because people see

I mean Apple is a higher end because it's so like they have this huge fucking ecosystem. They have like all this shit. I thought of some. You think you go with a twitching corpse of one mile underneath Apple headquarters. I'm going to go missing tomorrow. I know exactly. The fucking the Titan, the huge giant.

Yeah. Under the crowd. I'm going missing. We're all going missing. M. 2 is memory, by the way. It's an S-S-S-C. That's what I was thinking of.

M-2 is the patented Apple. Yeah. I'm looking at it now, and it is still super impressive, but there are obviously way better chips out there. It's just like a thread ripper. Bro, it's like...

Oh, my God. Apple has been working on this Vision Pro for so long, and that's what I was talking about mainly with, like, the risk. Like, they were releasing a... $3,500 product. That is fucking insane. Like, right now it's insane.

I just have to say, do we have to really look at the way that we've headed, bro. Like, you have to look. Remember the game, Boneworks? The VR game, Boneworks. That was, like, seen as, like, the innovative game for, like, VR. It was, like, 40 years ago, too. He was, like, yeah, it was, like, two years ago that they released this thing.

And it was, like, innovative as hell. Like, this whole, like, holy shit. And then Half-Life Alex. Remember? Alex was actually, like, Do you think you'd be able... What's the one with a gun and you, like, dodge the bullets and you shoot back? Super hot.

Super hot. Super hot. Super hot is how you break every controller you ever buy. I will say this now. Girl attack. I say it, Willie. If you guys want to see some crazy, some crazy, like, advancements in game engines, just look at Gary's Mod 2, whatever it's called. It's called Sandbox.

That's what it's called. As sandbox. Look at the way. Dude, it's insane. Like, do you think you could go on new egg.com and, like, build a quantum computer? You have a $9 million budget? I used to do that. I used to go on, like, New Egg.

And I used to, like, build, like, the craziest PCs. And I would, like, I would, like, save it. And I'm like, like, future PC. You're $9 million budget on New Egg. It's like a $60 case. And then, like, a tiny little scientist who's, like, the smartest guy on the planet. He's just in your fucking computer. this insane quantum

bullshit machine. It's like a vortex into the next realm. Dude, quantum computers are crazy. No, that shit is...

I want to sound like a fucking nerd, but they are... They're scary even. That's what we... I don't know much about quantum computers, but what are they used for? Are they even function right now?

It's like predicting when the end of the world is going to come. Dude, they can go down to the molecular simulation. Like, how to like make prescription drug development.

That's what they can do. Yeah, they go, they are used by government. right now as well as like corporations probably like Google and stuff. When do I get one? Yeah, I want to play.

Imagine as a background. There's like a Tesla and like Greg's a roof. Don't they. Don't they learn things like they're not coded to learn whatsoever. Yeah, they do. They just pull shit out of thin air and like it's a ritterer correct. Imagine you get a quantum computer and like you play Roblox and just makes games for you and you can continuously play Oh my God.

It's like the levels are just... Dude, no, no, no, no. Imagine playing GTA and it's the longest heist ever. You live a life You live a life as quantum computers Dude, I'm looking at quantum computers And they are so, so big And I can't help get flashbacks of when the first They're like this big

Oh my God, wait, I just thought about it. Okay, okay, okay, quantum You were there I can't let me wait Wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm saying I went to the moon and like Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! I think you said something You said something funny the other day. You've literally never driven in San Antonio in your entire life. And Nick and Larry and Dana were going there and you're like, yeah, just be careful driving over there because the drivers were really bad. Was I wrong? Was I wrong? Was I wrong? Was I wrong? Was I wrong?

Because you guys came home. And you had a different words to say. You said, man, that was shit, man. No, no, I'm scared of being in the city. We were talking about the submarine also. And we were talking about the pressure levels. And Isaac was like, yeah, bro, at those pressure levels, your head just gets like,

your head gets crazy. You guys won't get it. You guys won't get it. I was like, I wonder how bad the pressure really, because it was before anybody did a breakdown or explained anything. I was like,

I wonder how bad it really is down there. And then I was like, oh, dude, it's bad. And he was like, trust me, you don't want to get in that. You know, that was bad. I did a pencil dive and I went so deep. I went all the way down the bottom

and my head got fuzzy. That's what it seemed light. The max, like, free dive without any scuba gear. That was in something. No, it was like 200 meters or something insane. Down, like underwater 200 meters down. Oh, shit, yes. I was thinking, I was, yeah, sorry, something else.

He held his breath for like eight minutes or some shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, he held his breath, yeah. Like just kept going down like, oh. No, I fucking hate those videos because I, I didn't see it. There was a video I saw a long time ago of this guy who, who scuba gear fucked up. And it was just, I hate

Oh, when they go in the caves and they're just gone. I hate drowning. No, I hate every time. I hate like, um, you know when people go in the holes in the ground? What do they call? Fuck you. Yeah, yeah. It's like, caverning.

Yeah. It's like, all right, getting a little tight. Yeah. They're like 30 feet underwall. They're always like, they're always like this. People say, why do I love this job? You wouldn't get it, but being down.

here feels great. It's so funny. It's like home. They're like in cross. Like, you know what? It's spunking or spunkling or something weird. It's like, what is it? No, it's like,

spulking. There you go. Is this spulunking? Yeah, it's like, okay, I can't breathe. Throw some underwater? No, it's just in caves. There's one job I would want that I think it's so cool and so awesome. The people who work like,

like 10 days out of the year and they climb like mile high towers and just like fix a bolt. And they're like and they get paid like 80 grand a year just like doing like one thing. Because it's so dangerous. Yeah.

I'd do it. What's so funny? Bro. Yeah, what is so funny? I was still all the, I was thinking, this is the most freaking who.

If I had it's like, I'm dead. And their like, and their ribs are like, they can't breathe. And they're going to move and I'm never getting out. What is this whole?

Dude, I can see so many like skids being made like that. And they had one. I saw one video where it's like, if you look right above me, yeah, that's not a cave formation. That is like a family of daddy long necks or spiders. And it's just like, like, and then they start falling on them. And it's like, yeah. I'm looking at pictures.

Like, how can you get in there? It's making me freak out. Have you guys ever been in a real cave? No, I never want to be. I have no interest. I went into this one cave. Like Batman. It was actually like a very scary entrance and the exit was even worse.

So like literally what you got to do, it was a hole in the fucking earth. Like just straight like a small hole in the earth. Just like randomly in the field. It was so, it was so, I've never seen anything like it. You climb on one diagonal rock down to another diagonal rock down to another one. What? It sounds like you're getting mad. But no, it's so bad because it's so slippery that like I was on some.

some, like, church thing. And, like, these grown-ass men were, like, literally, like, bolted in. And they were like, come on now! And they were, like, grabbing you by the hand. And they were, like, slowly, like, let you down. And it's, like, a whole chain, like, a whole ladder. And then, uh, we were in there. And then we turned out of the lights and they were like,

the flashlight off and we were stranded in here for three days, you'd go blind forever. And we were like, what the fuck are you saying? So then they turned the flashlight back on. We were walking through, like, oh, dude was insane. Where were you? And why were you doing this? What do you? North Georgia.

Yeah, but for what reason? Youth retreat? That's going all kids and all the church kids. How old are you? I was like 14. Why were you there? So there was like this family who had this non-profit like camp site where they would like offer food and stuff. So it was like a cave?

No. No. It was near the cave. They also had like a spring on the property and like all kinds of stuff. Larry. Hot dog. Larry, look at the picture. I'll ask me why to do this sport.

Look at the picture. I'll just have to put that on the screen I love this shit so much You may be wondering What the hell are you doing down in the crevice You wouldn't get it One One place

One place that I would hate to die or get lost in Is a fucking maze Like a cornfield maze or something like that Oh my God Dude you watched too many horror movies Just go through the corn Just someone's like looking stunged out. What do you do?

What do you do? What's a cord? Dude. Dude, I don't fuck with not knowing how I'm going. Oh boy. Well, like, what about if the other persons in the maze and then they turn the corner of just your skeleton and they're like, dude. Okay, here's what happened.

I learned something the other day that I didn't even think about. All right. So one of my biggest fears. Actually, I think, like, really my only fear, well, kind of is, like, open ocean, like being stranded open ocean. Yes, yes. Like, lar... Wait, Thesslophobia, big... Fasmaphobia, shut out, stupid ass.

Man, you mean waterophobia? Shut up. Shut up, bitch. All right, listen. Where's that big? Bro, I didn't even think about it. So, like, my biggest fear, because, like, sharks and shit like that, right? Like, out in the open water, no, no, no.

No sharks are out in the middle of the ocean. Like, they're just, they're just staying near the shore. Like, they stay within, like, a couple hundred miles of the shore or whatever, because that makes sense. I was almost right. Yummy, I have a fear of large objects in the ocean or like large drop-offs. Megalophobia. Like, the thought of being underneath a ship

freaks me out, or the thought of being, like, seeing a chain go down until I can't see the chain anymore in water. No, that's pussy shit. Yeah. I don't know, man. I just would want to be the large swelling waves, so I'm like, what are you scared of?

It would be like, Mm-hmm. Death. Yeah. Like, maybe a girl, the lip piercing. God's fighting us all down. What am I scared of? What are you actually scared of?

What are you scared of? I'm curious. Home invasion. Clown. Dude, that's why you need a gun. What? If I had a shotgun and somebody turned around my house and blow their fucking skull off. Girl, if somebody came in your house and you killed him.

We're talking about like, the most terrifying, the most terrifying situation in my head. I'm not scared of real people. This is like a horror movie, horror movie level terrifying situation. Imagine you're just laying in bed, right? And like,

Like, your door is open already still. And, like, you're just chilling in bed, but in the hallway light is on. So there's, like, barely light in your room, like, just enough to see what's on the walls and stuff. And you see a guy just standing there, right? And he's just standing there looking at you. And then you, like, look at him. And then he, like, screams and it just starts stabbing. Like, to death.

I hate, oh, I hate stabbing. Like, stabbing is, like, the worst way to go. I hate, I hate, and I hear how quick sometimes some of the, the, Dude, there's three things I'm scared of. Nuclear missiles, my parents getting old, and claustrophobic. That's real. That's, hold on. Dude, I don't know. Nuclear missile is kind of like, it's kind of like fallout.

It's a little cozy. I don't care. I hate getting stabbed and I hate watching my parents grow old. That's like, dude, the real things ever. If I saw a new guy, imagine seeing a big fucking bomb. You're like, all right, well, I know what's going to happen. If I saw a nuclear missile, I would put on Dream Suite and C major, and I would just be like, alone

I want to get an apocalypse bottle of wine Can we all have an apocalypse Apocalypse bottle of wine What does that mean? Like if you drink and you die It's certainly going to end right there We just crack open the apocalypse one Drink it all and we just perish altogether

It's been alone That's awesome Honestly if there was like a meteor That hit Earth that I I don't know Wait wait wait wait wait we watched the movie Remember there's a movie about that Isaac the fucking...

Oh, yeah, yeah. There is an indie film of like, it was basically just like a news broadcast of this fake news about, I don't know, aliens or this missile that was surely going to hit Earth.

What was it called? Like, you gotta watch it. My greatest fear is losing myself. What's the Tuesday clock air right now? Okay, MGK over here. Only up. Shut up. It's only like something drunk would say,

doesn't it? What? No, I wouldn't. You said home invasion. Like, you didn't have to, Like the most normal fear to ever have anything. I want to go back to that because we were talking about like really scary shit. We're like, you know, the inevitable.

Do you not think home invasion or not have a gun, grong? Get a gun, bro. I don't know. Get a big shotgun. That's scary. Get a shotgun. Dude, this. You know what else is scary is a fucking.

You also scary? The doomsday clog is at 90s. Home invasion could be the end of your life as well. It's been at that for the entire. It's been in that forever. What Tanner said? Well, it says 20, 23. He says 90 seconds to midnight.

It's over. That means nothing. That means nothing, bro. It's the doomsday clock. It's just when the fucking world's going to be. So like, you know how we have that space above our front door, like, where there's nothing? I would camp there with a shotgun if I saw somebody was going to break into our house. Dude, I've thought about that before.

I thought about it. Like spider hide. Make a booby trap. Like it's a song. Like it saw. Yeah. You trip wire chucking. Yeah.

We'll just, there's going to be a comically large battle ag seconds. You know what you're. though, here's what's insane. You can go to prison if somebody breaks in your house and they don't have a gun and you shoot them. No, you kill them and they don't have a gun. Especially if you shoot them when they're running away. Or yeah, if you shoot them and they're not looking at you.

I personally think that's bullshit, bro. Like, if you're robbing my shit. What fucking state? Surely not Texas. There's a stand-your-ground rule in some states like Texas. I think Florida has a similar one. Yeah. But like, bro, if you are robbing me, I have every right to kill you. I don't even care because I don't know if you have a gun or not.

Like, I'm protecting my house. Like, you just walked in. Like, honestly, I wouldn't have a gun. I'd have a rocket. Okay. Oh, really? That's funny. Is your head heavy?

Why do you keep doing that? Oh, really? That's hilarious. Well, shout out to the sponsor. Talking about it. Thanks, guys. All right, all right, all right. Before continuing on with the podcast, I did have to give a quick shout out here.

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Thank you. Thank you. Why are you guys making fun of my, my home invasion fear? Like, because I'm going to break into the house right now and see how scared you get. Because like any other thing. No, I think it's real.

I think it's free. I play it. Okay. There's this game I played. That's about Home Invasion. It was pretty scary. That's my only glimpse. You watch Mr. Nightmare videos?

There's a lot of like home invasion stories that are like bone chilling. Yeah, it's like some stranger coming to your house unknown. Like to you having to like, you're like, listen, you having to like control your breath because you're like, and then like somebody's like outside your door and you're like, see, see, but here's a thing. It's making me paranoid, bro. Maybe maybe this is my confidence speaking. for me, but I rather... Who the hell is that in Grunks Kitchen?

Stop, stop. I would rather be in that situation than a situation where I have no control over, like, a brain-eating amoeba. Or like... Really? Dude, that shit is not scary. Quantum Computed is fucking robot

and home burglar in your house. You go fucking swimming one day and you find out your penis a little thing went up your penis and eat your brain out. Dude, you can get a brain-eating amoeba just from swallowing bad water. That's what I'm saying. If it didn't hurt upon entry and you're going to

die anyways, and who cares? You shouldn't be afraid of that. If it's inevitable, I don't care about it. Yeah, exactly. You accept it. But if it's something that you can actually escape from, you guys don't want to live if that's real. I'm scared to pee in rivers.

I don't want things to go up there. See, what you guys need to do is to walk through life. You guys don't want to live. Listen, there's a saying. There's a saying. There's a saying. There's a saying. And I'm going to butcher the saying,

but I'm going to try my best. It is always better. It is better to be a soldier in a garden than a gardener in a gardener in a war or something like that. Okay. Damn. What the fuck? No, like that.

You gotta be able to control yourself, but you gotta be a warrior, bro. We gotta, we gotta talk about this real quick. You can't be no soft person. You would have to, all. All right, hold up, hold up. Here's what you have to do. No, listen, because I've thought about this a million times. First of all, you have to act like you're stupid.

If somebody comes up to you with the gun, you just, don't respond. Just like, don't do anything. And then out of nowhere, like, start doing what they want, like really slow. Like, you have no idea, like, hit him in your wall? like like this and then out of nowhere

just go rah! And they like grab their gun and just go boom, boom, then you shoot them. Dude,

they will not expect it. I would, by the point that you slowly reach for your wallet I would just shoot you four times in the head. No, it wouldn't work.

Most burglars don't want to kill anybody. That's why they're trying to rob. They want money for a future. They're not just trying to kill people. They want to have a future. That's why they're trying to steal shit because they want money. You got to look out for which ones

are not insane like that they're actually like, if you're more insane, you just have to be crazy. You just have to be crazy. out and sprint at them, like nuts, like crazy mode. And if I'm in my own house, they have no idea, this is my home turf, my territory.

I know where the square footage ends and outs, I'll hide in like a corner and then I'll like throw a scorpion at them. Dude, dude. Okay, I'm couch their eyes out with my thumbs. Do you have a fear and I walk through the house? No. Quick peek.

You'll know what's in there. Probably a home invader. Rainbow 16. Listen, listen. I have, I have the deepest, I have the deepest, like, fear for like, like, schizophrenia. like actually start

Because I hear things And everyone else around I heard That's actually fucked up I listened to this one 911 call Of this guy who was in his car Saying that there was like He's like

These like people falling him Or something like that Someone's trying to like swirming off the road The gang gang stalkers or No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no He was happening And then while the cops like came eventually And then he was like

I don't feel safe because I feel like They're gonna do something in above all this shit happening And he just started, he just started, like, cutting himself. And he started, like, doing, like, all the shit to himself. And because he thought that there was, like, he was, like, holding on to his, like, crystals because he thought he was going to give him, like, good energy. Like, it was. Here.

That's, that terrifies me. Like, what the, like, I don't know what the UBC. I actually have a real story or two stories about that. My grandfather had schizophrenia. And he, my mom actually did not want me to kind of, like, be around him for that reason. He was, like, a danger kind of to, like, my sister and me. but there was a time that he used to think that people would go to his truck

and replace his tires with different tires. So he'd have a camera set up, putting it at his car, and he would tell my dad one day, he's like, look, look, look, there they are, they're doing it right now. There's nothing happening on the camera, but he sees people going and replacing his tires.

So he would sit in the bed of his truck with a shotgun waiting for people. Was he on medication? No. And then he would, and then another time he would, be, he would tell my dad, he'd be like, there are people that are opening my truck and cutting open the cushion of the seats and replacing the stuffing with different stuffing

and sewing it back up. What? No, dude. That's how it gets pretty fucking scary. Yeah. So my mom works with like, she works in the, you know, what's it called? Mental health, whatever. Like, she's like a therapist, basically.

Yeah. And she would always tell me. like when I was growing up that there's people like first of all if you're schizophrenic she like highly recommended that you be like you're on medication because it's needed for most people like if you can go without it it's fine but she would say that there's people where there just one day

of a missed dose from being like a danger to like themselves or you know other people yeah it's kind of scary to think about you ever you ever seen a beautiful mind that movie that movie's good I had to watch that in school yeah I watched it in school studios about this guy he's like so well

he's portrayed as like a genius code breaker guy and that he's like working for the government to break codes and that entire thing is like a schizophrenic episode. Like like he imagined. Like he said out the window he thought he was like a genius or something. Yeah like like he thought he had a roommate that was like helping him

through college. That roommate didn't exist. And like like he thought he got hired by the government. The government agents never existed like that shit. Yeah that's what I want that. Like that mental shit. That's that's yeah. How is a brain so powerful that he can actually just want to just start seeing people? This is. This Kind of a funny, funny,ish example, but it was like... What?

As Nick was talking, I looked over in my audacity, and I, like, there was just this weird thing going across my screen. There's a little fucking spider on my computer screen. I watched it call. Now it's hidden. Just to say a spider was scarier than schizophrenia? No, I just, it was scary. No, you said, do you know what's scarier? Yeah.

said. Hold on. I need to say some. I need to say some. It's super easy for us to stay on the negative. Let's talk about what makes us happy now. Let's talk about a cozy moment. Gondy worms, Adventure Time, Lollipas, ice cream, grass on. Yesterday, I was watching Adventure Time with my friend.

And oh, my goodness. It was after a storm. It was after a storm. And we were just dealing. Amazing. Yeah, I like hot chocolate. Kisses from him. I like lifesavers, gummies, and I like...

Oh, you know what this makes me happy? Tanner fixed my fan. Now it's like not the slowest speed in the world. The handyman. They're out! You know what makes me happy? The thought of like being with someone close and like you're at like a snow, like a ski resort or something or a lodge

and you got like hot cocoa, it's snowing out nice. You get to go skateboard the next day. Maybe you go in the fucking hot tub and it's snowing on you while. you're in the hot tub. I've never had that. That's fun. Are you horny? I've never had that before, but I'm sure it feels great.

You're just horny, dude. I like, I like, I liked watching the news. You can hump. Listen, I like watching the news and so like, are there might be a chance of snow. And then I look at the window because I want school to be closed and I see a snowflake. And I fall asleep and I'm like, look at aside. It's like all snowy. Or the morning, the morning in an on the news little bar at the bottom that plays on

schools that are closed for the day. Yeah, but you see your school and you're like, where is it? That means that Yumbies never had a snow day. Insect bastard. No. Yommies never had a snow day once.

I technically had one, but it didn't even snow. They canceled school and then nothing happened. So I want to tell you guys something that makes me happy, but I can't think about anything. Dr. Pepper cream soda. Like a puppy.

Like I like puppies. I like puppies and dogs, cats. How about a scenario, buddy? A scenario? Yeah, not just. Dogs, okay. All right?

What about Mr. Bees? Oh, okay. It's a warm, it's a warm summer night. There's lights all around a lake and you have a hammock. No bugs. No bugs, though. You got bugs all over you. What?

No bug. Oh, wait, no, you're kayaking. Oh. Motherfucker! Oh, right. Here we go, here you go. All right. It's a Tuesday. It's October 14th.

You come home from school. You had like a bunch of tests. Yeah. You got a bunch of tests. done. He's thinking you're pretty good, but you're pretty satisfied. You walk in the door, it's kind of warm. Why is it yelling to himself? It's kind of warm. You smell your favorite dish. Your mom's cooking

up some shrimp Alfredo and it's like fall. And it's like fall. You watch like Harry Potter because they're doing the marathon. Wait, I got a new one. Freaking the show, the fall show. Yeah, the fall shows. Over the garden wall.

I just did a big bowl. I just did a big bowl of white chicken chili. And now it's getting later in the night. And then I got some hot cocoa. And it's cold. Baby, it's cold outside. It's Christmas time, and I'm watching, I'm watching Home Alone.

I'm watching Home Alone in the living room. All the lights are off. That's Home Alone. Look how fast I can go. No, Home Alone's more like, come on. Marve? And he's like,

come on. T, do that again. T, do that again. Go as fast as you can. T. Go as fast as you can. Oh, my God. You all see that?

Yep. So bad. Yep. Harry! I'm coming up. Can we get pasta right now? What time is it? 142.

Yeah, dude. I got a good of my god. Ladies and gentlemen. We've been a great podcast. This podcast flew by. Not for me. Well, it was pretty chill. It was chill.

I forgot that you guys were streaming like over in there. And I never got to eat my food. I'm a hungry guy. Yeah. You know what? I saw six flies on your salad, by the way. Oh, yeah. There was like, I did.

I choose them away, but there were, I don't know how long they were on there. I'm still going to eat it. You know why I want to like throw myself into a wall right now? Why? Because we have to be up in six hours to go record. Yeah, I have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of work to do. I have so much work today.

It's not even funny. No. We got a lot of stuff today. Today was a good entertaining day. Today was funny and productive. I got to finish my vlog. Yummy did his thing. I got a haircut.

Nice. That's where it ends. Video. Nice, productive day. We all did it really productive day. Yeah. Oh, there's still a roommate that we need to tend to soon. Oh, yeah. He's sleeping in his bed.

He's asleep. Don't talk about it yet. Don't let's stop. For sponsoring today's episode. Thank you. Thanks for rocking on. Peace. We'll see you guys next week.

We'll do something cool. I don't know. Yeah, let's have a guest for next week. How about a guess? Look forward to that. I'm going to bring in time. I will not be here next week. Boom.

All right, we'll see you guys later. Thank you for coming. Bye, bye.