The Harland Highway - 1002 - 2nd last podcast with CINNAMON BOY, Crazy SEX festival. ROGER says goodbye. Listener MAIL BAG.

Episode Date: July 29, 2019

2nd last podcast with CINNAMON BOY, Crazy SEX festival. ROGER says goodbye. Listener MAIL BAG. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, my God, Becky. Oh, my God, can you believe it? This is the second last Harland Highway podcast. Oh, my God. Let's not dwell on it. Let's not get down. Let's talk about what we're doing in today's epic show. We're going to open up the listener mailbag towards the end of the show.

We're going to read some letters, some final goodbye letters from some of you pavement pounders. That'll be emotional. and sweet um also uh a crazy new story have you ever been to camp have you ever been to camp well how about sex camp yeah what way do you hear this damn story man it is it is uh frightening and fun at the same time also a very special episode roger my producer roger says his uh his his wonderful goodbyes today. He's going to, I don't know what it is, but I know he said he's prepared a wonderful sweet goodbye

to sum up the podcast and his experience here. Oh my God. I'm so excited to hear this. I'm probably going to be crying. Also, Cinnamon Boy drops by the studio today. Unbelievable. That little brat. Don't love that guy.

Cinnamon Boy. And so much more. So let's go. It's the second last podcast. This is the Harland Highway. Do you know my name? It's on the marriage certificate. I've never seen you before in all my life.

Hold on to your airbag. You're heartless, heartless monsters. All of you, threw it through. You're riding down the Harland Highway. Oh, yeah! When you see a fallen star, That means a witch has just died. You clumsy idiot?

The Harland Highway. Oh, I want is to hear people say something again and to see people moving again. I'm Floyd Bernie, the rockabilly boy. Don't you understand? You're listening to Harlan Williams. I can't be your daughter. I'm a machine.

Man, you've been dead a thousand years. My George, I think he's got it. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams. What's up, Doc? Mr. If you're going to lose, you're going to lose right now. Don't leave me here! Oh, gosh, don't leave me here. I might have to leave you here.

This is the second last Harland Highway podcast. I'm right on the verge of leaving you here. I know it's sad. It's sad. But one positive note is, you know, my producer, Roger, who's worked with me through the whole, the whole length of the Harland Highway. I'm excited at least we'll have one positive note today

is he said at some point he wants to do a little thank you. He wants to say a few words before the final show next week. And that makes me happy because, you know, I'm not good with goodbyes and I'm not good with adulation and, you know, people heaping on the praise

and all that. But, you know, me and me and Roger were a team. and you know it'll be cool it'll be it'll be nice to kind of it's like it's like a wedding whenever you all your friends stand up and tell you all these great things and they tell you how they feel and how much they love you and they reminisce about the good times and like it's that that stuff's that stuff's nice so i don't know when uh hey roj i'm waving to roj to the window i don't know when he's got it planned but at some point during the show He said he wants to, you know, say a few words.

And so we'll make time for that. That'll be super cool, man. So, yeah, feeling a little melancholy, a little sad that we're coming up near the end here. But, you know, everything runs its course. And like I said, I might pop in from time to time and do a surprise podcast. Most of you will probably have moved on And this will become stale And you're like, oh yeah, that thing

I remember when I used to listen to that thing But who knows? You never know But I just want to say thank you to all of you Who have been along from the beginning You've been along for five episodes, been along for 50 episodes I hope you've had some good laughs and some good times But it ain't over yet

This is only the second last So let's not get too down. Let's have a little fun. Let's get to a nutty, crazy news story and kick the show off with some of the humor that can only be found in what we call the human condition. Raj hit it. The Harland Highway.

Crazy news story. That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff. Okay. I think this could actually be kind of a cool, crazy headline. I don't know. Let's see how you feel.

But here it is. Europe's biggest sex festival hits England aerial photos show. Are you kidding me? A sex festival? Now, for all you moral people going, oh, that's appalling. Oh, my goodness. How, oh, my, how animalistic. Oh, please.

How many of you, if you could get away with just going, to a sex festival would go. Yeah, a festival just overloaded with sex. Yeah, right. Oh, not me. I'm not, no, I would never do that. That's immoral. I might go to a festival where there were balloons and clowns and carnival animals,

but I would never go to a sex festival. I hate sex. Everybody should hate sex. Yeah, right. Here's the story. Hundreds of adventurers. I love that they call them adventure. Can you just say perverts?

Hundreds of pervert. But then again, that's not fair. Why should we just always assume that sex is perverted? Right? Can we just acknowledge that sex is healthy and we won't exist? It's probably the most important thing on planet Earth. And I don't mean that in a psychological way, in a biological way. If we all didn't crave sex, we all wouldn't be here, okay?

So to say sexes for purves is not fair, but there are people who take sex to a perverted level. Let's see how perverted or non-poverted this feels. Hundreds of, quote, adventurers are evidently pitching their tents in a showground as this year's Swingfields Festival promises to go off with a bang. Oh, there's those old media punsters again. Europe's biggest swingers party has come to the United Kingdom again for three days as raunchy revelers get into the swing of things. Wow, okay, there's a picture here, and it just looks like a farmer's field

in the rolling, you know, English countryside where normally you'd see sheep and goats and geese. Now there's like a bunch of tents set up and cars parked and, I don't know. It looks like it could be a Boy Scout Festival or a blueberry festival or a swap meat. Well, there's a lot of meat, all right. Swingfield's location for this year's Aurora event is now being revealed using handwritten S.F. This Way signs around Melvin Wusschia, England. S.F. This Way. I like that. Sex Festival. This Way.

The site is a closely guarded secret, and ticket holders who pay over 200 for couples are only told 48 hours before the festival gets underway. $200 for a sex festival? It's like $200 a person to get into Disneyland. Wait a minute. Are you telling me I could get into a sex festival for 200 lousy, box. And Disneyland cost me like a hundred and twenty bucks a person. If you take your family to Disneyland, you're looking at like 800 to a thousand bucks or more. To go around on Mr. Toad and, you know, it's a small world pirate to the Caribbean. What for a fraction of the cost,

you could be going on rides made out of human flesh. You could be going to be going to on the doggy style ride. You could be going on the missionary ride. You could be going on that wonderful ride, the 69. Oh, the back door ride, the deep throat ride. I mean, good Lord, 200 bucks. Up yours, Mickey. Oh, boy, I'm taking a day off from Disneyland.

I'm taking a sick day. I've got to go over to the United Kingdom, And, oh, don't tell Minnie. Oh, boy. Oh, come on, Pluto. Come on, Donald. Wow. That's cheap.

I mean, I've never one to go to prostitutes, but doesn't a prostitute cost like 500 or a thousand bucks? I don't know. What do they go for? That's just one man or woman coming to. your door for uh quite a bit of money and here you got a whole festival of sex for 200 somebody's not doing the economics on this uh here we go drone pictures of the field near the three country showground show a red double-decker party bus and gazebo covering several double

bans wow double-decker bus double beds Double babes, I hope Other pictures detail four poster bans dotted around the site As well as mysterious tents and marquise In the corners of the field Paddling pools have also been erected around the festival With a line of chairs set up nearby

I don't know what a paddling pool is Is that like a little like a place for people to swim around? That sounds like It's creepy. That's hilarious. Like they're not even like, they're not even setting up tables and chairs. It's like right to the bands.

Yeah, come on in. We got a bed laying in a field for you. We don't want you making love right on the hay. You know, we don't want a cricket to wander up some slippery hole. We got a four-poster bed there over by the bales of wheat. And if the licking feels too good, it's probably a cow. Oh, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, oh, God, your tongue's so long. The official swing-sealed web fight, listen to me, I'm tongue-time, Jesus.

The official swingfield's website states, and that is a tongue twister. This three-day event will be working alongside all lifestyles groups, including LGBT communities, to ensure we deliver a fun and entertaining event for all. So I don't know. What do you think about that? Okay? Is that a place where you want to be all-inclusive?

Let's say you're totally straight. You're not into the gay thing. You don't want to see lesbians. You don't want to see two men going at it. You're just there for good old traditional lovemaking and sex with the opposite gender. And you don't really want to look over and see gay people making love. And what if you're gay people and you don't want to look over and see straight people making love? Because isn't that the reason you're straight or you're gay is because you're not really interested in the other one?

Straight people aren't interested in gay sex And gay people probably aren't interested in straight sex So I don't know if you looked over at one of the other Would it be a turnoff? Would it spoil the soup? Do you think you can just have like a straight sex festival And a LGBT festival? Do you really need to mix them?

I don't know. Just a question. So here we go. Here's people talking about the festival. It says organizers are also offering glamping pods, complete with bedding included to allow revelers to just jump, turn, to just turn up and relax. I do not know what that.

even means a glamping pod that's gotta be some kind of British sex act hey good evening love you up for a little glamping pod then hey oh we did that last night oh no but was really nice you want to do again oh I would like to which like I'd love another glamping pod love if you wouldn't mind laying down let's do one right on the living room floor what tell you what why don't we go out in the backyard do it on the grass. Oh, a little glamping pot out in the grass? I don't know.

What is a glamping pod? And residents in the area say they're happy for the sex festival to go ahead as long as the revelers don't leave the compound. Yeah, I guess that's fair. You know, there's probably families living nearby. Mommy, what are those two people doing in the backyard? Oh, my goodness. Oh, they're just looking. Looking for dewworms, love.

That may be one of them dropped their contact lens. Well, it looks like they're doing a glamping pod, Mommy. Oh, my God. Um, quote, one of the, uh, the locals. I'm not bothered by what they do inside the festival, as long as they don't leave it. But I suppose, why would they? Said Sylvia Harley 40 and I just did a minute.

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Harland so you get your discount and a 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Ends boys. Quote, the festival was here last year and no one seemed to have any problems. It's just people having sex in the open air. Oh my God. Don't you see they're not just having sex. They're glamping. It just sounds funny to hear they're having sex in the open air. Isn't it funny that such a natural, a natural act is so hidden and concealed and confined? It really is weird how we've stigmatized and made sex so taboo. You know, you walk around, you'll see birds humping, you'll see dogs humping, you'll see cats humping, you'll see lions and rhinos, Humping. You'll see Draft. You watch Discovery Channel. There's drafts

Humping and Zebras Humping and whales. But us humans, oh, close the door. We can't say. No one must see us humping. I remember I was at a music festival once and I wanted to get away from the crowd and I climbed this big grassy hill and I got to the top of the hill and I looked over and there was a woman on her back and some guy and they were just going at it. fully naked, like, plowing. And my first reaction was like, oh, my God, and I turned away, and I sat there, and I was like, oh, my God, what are they doing?

And then I went, you're just kind of having fun. And I kind of snuck up and took another peek. But it was really weird. It's not like one of these things where I was turned on by it. That's the thing. It wasn't like, I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to watch this through right to the end. It's kind of like when you go to a nude beach. I don't know if any of you've been to a nude beach

or a lot of countries you go to and they're not so hung up on nudity and they don't wear clothes or the women go topless. I've been to many of those. And after about a minute, you don't care. You see a pair of open breasts or a man walking down the beach with his balls swinging in the seaweed.

You really don't care. You kind of go numb and your brain goes, oh yeah, we're all human. We all have the same body parts. Duh. And you don't care. And that's what happened when I see. saw these two going at it in the field.

I was like, okay, they're having sexual intercourse. And I just kind of moved on. It didn't stimulate me. It was kind of more shocking to see, but I was like, okay, good for them. It's natural. They're out in the open. So I don't know if any of you have ever done it out in the open. I'm not going to tell if I have.

You can maybe figure it out for yourself. Maybe I have in the desert on a sand dune in a forest and a ravine. I don't know, have I? Maybe. Anyways, let's not. Let's not, I get, I digress. I digress. So there you go, gang.

Big sex festival happening out in the United Kingdom. If you want to get your tea and crumpet wet. It's on. So, you know, crazy news story. Kind of a fun one, maybe. And if you can't afford the $200, spend like $80 and buy a drone and watch from the sky, you parvart. Oh, boy. Okay.

Okay, that's enough for that. Holy jumping. That got hot and heavy. So there's your crazy news story. Let's move on to another topic here. I wanted to talk about what's going on in the streets with the rules with homeless people starting to really change a lot. I don't know how it is where you live, but here in Los Angeles, man, I've noticed a radical change just in about the last two years.

You know, you'd see homeless people here and there and, you know, they'd be walking or sitting in a bus stop. Now it's tents. I mean, the streets where I drive and walk are lined with not one or two tents. I'm talking like 5, 6, 10, 15, 20, like 10 cities, man. It is really... Hey, Harlan.

Oh, yeah. Can I talk to you about something? Oh, yeah. Here we go. Yes, Raj. Go for it. Remember that time you invited me to your movie premiere and I got to walk on the red carpet with you? Um, the movie... Remember that time we went to a Dodgers game and we had awesome seats right behind the third base dugout?

The Dodgers? How about the time you got me tickets to see you do stand-up at the comedy store? Okay, I think I remember. How about the time when you said I was doing a great job producing the Harlan Highway and to show your appreciation, you bought me a big steak dinner at the Palm Restaurant? I did that? Yeah, that sounds like something. How about the time when you said, hey, Roch, come on over.

I'm cooking burgers on the grill, hanging out with a bunch of movies. stars and comedians. Oh, yeah, man. I have some great pool parties in the summer. Remember when you gave me a raise? Roger, listen. No? What?

Wait, why is it? None of it ever happened, Harland. What? What do you? Over 10 years and a thousand podcasts and not one thank you? Hold on, bro. What do you wait a second? Instead, it's, hey, Raj, can you pick up the poop from the elephant in the studio?

No. Hey, Raj. Talk to the ghost of Michael Jackson Because he wants you to sit on his lap And play with his monkey Roger, what are you doing? Hey, Roger, could you trim Aunt Ruthie's toenails for me? Roger!

Hey, Roger, take Cinnamon Boy shopping at the candy store. I thought you were going to do a thank you... Oh, Roger, can you clean up after George fucking Michael Puked and peed all over himself in the studio? Roger, pick up my dry cleaning, get my car wash. Write out my Christmas cards. Steam clean the carpet where the puppy dog pals left me some puppy dog poops. All right.

Are you done, bro? I thought we were going to have a nice... Oh, guess what? I'm done. I'm done with you and your whole studio and answering your phones and setting up interviews and posting your podcasts. In fact, Harland, I got a better offer right now where I still get to talk into a microphone. That's right. You're looking at the new order taker at the drive-up window at McDonald's.

Dude. The pay is better, and the customers I'll be dealing with are at least respectful. Okay, slow down, man. You are... So thanks for nothing, Harlan. Roger, stop. Oh, and speaking of Cinnamon Boy, he's here now. I'm opening the door and you can deal with him.

What? No. Later. No, no, no. Do not let Roger, don't let him in. Oh, my God. Hi, I'm cinnamon boy, and I love cinnamon! Roger, I am gonna... Oh my God, what the hell was that?

I thought Roger was doing a thank you, and he's just ran... And now I got you? I'm not you, I'm cinnamon boy! What are you doing here? I'm having a bit of a meltdown here, and now I got some idiot that's in love with cinnamon? What's wrong with cinnamon? Because it's a spice or something, kid, okay? What's so great about it that that's all you ever talk about?

Because it's cinnamony? It's cinnamony. Yeah, that's right. Gee, I wonder why, dummy, because guess what? It's cinnamon. Did you say cinnamon? Yes, I did. Good, because I love cinnamon.

Because I'm cinnamon, boy, and I love cinnamon. Stop it. what the hell is what do you want i don't know i just thought i'd come by and say hello well as you can hear from my producer roger your hello's probably a bit too late because this is our second last show and uh there ain't gonna be no more what yeah you heard me cinnamon boy oh my what who am i gonna be be able to tell about cinnamon well i hope you don't tell anyone about cinnamon because you know what? You were one of my earliest guests I ever had. You've been annoying since day one. You're a freaking moron. And I'm going to be glad when you're gone out of my life at least. Well, look at

you, Mr. High and Mighty. Well, I'll tell you what you can do. Oh, and what's that, kid? You can climb up a 20-foot cinnamon stick? Yeah. And slide all the way down till you have Cinnamon ring. What the hell is cinnamon ring? That's when you've got cinnamon powder burnt around your asshole. Fuck you, I'm cinnamon boy, and I love cinnamon. Get the hell a cinnamon ring. Are you retarded?

Maybe, and maybe I'm not. But if I am, I'm retarded for one thing. And what's that? Cinnamon, I'm cinnamon boy, and I'm retarded for cinnamon. Get out! God! Roger, you son of a, you had to leave. He leaves me, we do this show all these years,

and he leaves me with that idiot. He let him in, he left the door unlocked, and now I got a visualized cinnamon ring for the rest of my life. Disgusting. Oh, my God, Roger. Okay, let's be honest here, all right? Let's pull down the facade. It's the second last show.

So Roger wasn't really here. Roger, I asked Roger, you know, Roger's been a part of this podcast since day one. Here's the story with Roger. I've told you this before. The Harland Highway originally was a drive-home radio show in Denver, Colorado. I did it for a year from 3 o'clock till 7 o'clock in the evening. People would drive home and listen to me doing all my skits and my characters and all this stuff. And what I would do is I'd record it in Los Angeles and then I'd email all the material to Roger.

And then Roger would put all the production on it, the music and the sound effects and the noises and all the amazing stuff. And I learned a lot from Roger. And I was so used to like talking to Roger on the original Harland Highway that when my show in Denmer, Colorado ended, we only did it for a year. Well, it ended just around the time when podcasting was starting. And I thought, well, I have all these great bits I did with Roger. Why don't I use them as the foundation for a podcast, a comedy podcast. And Roger was no longer involved, but at the same time, I wanted to keep the vibe going.

and Roger became a buddy and a friend and a mentor and and I just always felt comfort knowing Roger was there. He was like my second half. So even though Roger was never here one single day of the 1,000 podcasts we did, Roger was not physically here ever, but I always talked to him as if I could visualize him through the window in the sound booth. and just so you know and just so Roger knows I hope he's listening to this episode it gave me great comfort

and in a way it made me feel like I wasn't alone and it also made me feel like I had a friend and I can visualize Roger and I can feel Roger and I can sense Roger and in a way he was like my silent podcast partner and so Roger knows this I've thanked him profusely for all

all the amazing and talented work he did when we did the radio show together. And in a way, he was an inspiration. Not in a way, he was an inspiration. And the great work he did with all the noises and the music and all the effects he did, it inspired me to want to keep it going. It inspired me to want to do my own version of the Harland Highway, but as a podcast. And so Roger kind of helped pave the way, and he did such a great job.

And so I always had the spirit of Roger with me. And I think I dare say that you folks listening, the pavement pounders, I think in a way you always thought he was there too. You know, a lot of times you included Roger in your emails and in your phone calls and your comments. So I think we all felt Roger's presence. So thank you, Roger. And there were a few exceptions when I used to go and do stand-up comedy in Denver. Roger would always make time on his Saturday to have me over to his studio,

and we would do prank phone calls. And those we did actually together sitting in the same room. And I was able to feature those throughout the years on the Harlan Highway. So, Roger, a great big, huge thank you, buddy. You're the best producer I've ever had who never came to work once. You know, I love you, buddy. You're an inspiration. You're a great guy.

And I want to thank you for being along for the ride when you were here, when you weren't here, when you're here in spirit, when you were here for real. And here's the great news, gang. me and Roger have stayed friends since the beginning of our association together when I did the radio show all those years ago. It's almost over, I think it's over 10 years. I can't even believe it. But Roger and I stay in touch.

We email, we Christmas card, we talk, we visit. I mean, I just saw Roger, I think, about a month ago. I was out in Denver and I was doing stand-up comedy there. And Roger and his beautiful wife came out to the show and we hung out. we laughed and hugged and told stories and just the same stuff we always did. So there you go, guys. As much as you enjoy the Harland Highway, I just want y'all to know that Roger was a big part of it. Roger King.

I guess I never ever told you his last name. It's Roger King, and he is definitely a king. So thank you, Roger. We all love you. And it's been a great ride on the Harland Highway. not really going to thank you for setting me up for that final cinnamon boy, although I'm glad we got him in because Cinnamon Boy was one of the original, probably I think one of the first characters I ever did on the Harland Highway. And so maybe you kind of did that by design.

And so look at that. We got one last episode with our old friend Cinnamon Boy in there. Oh my gosh. So even though you know Roger's not here and he never was, I'm going to keep it gone. You know, that was supposed to be his walkout, but I'm going to keep it going for the rest of this podcast and for the final podcast. Even though he walked out, he just stormed out. Raj, let's play a commercial and then go to the next bit. Okay, as much. For my feminine itching, I depend on vagusil cream to stop it instantly. And for a painful burning itch, I get maximum strength vagusil for even stronger relief.

There's vagusil cream. and maximum strength. No, you put your helmet on. Letters, oh, we get letters, we get your letters every day. Mailman, mailman, mail today. Reach right in and pull one out. Those letters, I love those letters. Let's find out what you've got to say.

Oh, boy! Mailman. today Okay, here we go. You know, I thought it would be important to get a few last, like, fan mail letters in, the Harland Highway mailbag, right? Before we shut it down completely, right? I think that's important, and we're the only place in the world

that actually get, you know, emails that are made out of paper. I don't know why. I don't know how. We're just weird that way. We've always been different that way. So here we go. Let's read a few of these like going away emails. Mike Zola.

Hey, Mr. Williams. Thank you for the many years of laughs and entertainment. I was a regular listener for quite some time. But due to a life's change of schedule, I stopped listening. What? I have now come back to find out you're ending your podcast. It sucks. but I know you will go on to create and keep doing great things for people's happiness.

Take care of yourself, brother Jebediah. P.S., if you made a movie of you playing all your wacky characters from the podcast, it would be great. Bye for now, Harland, and chicken chowmaine, you burgle, blurgle, dirgle, McFleurgel blargan. Well, Mike, thank you so much. And, you know, the biggest thing that I liked about your letter is, A, that you're a fan, but that line you said where keep doing great things

for people's happiness because at the end of the day that's what this was all about it was just to kind of put a smile on your face bring people some happiness in their lives life can be dreary sometimes or we can get down and boy oh boy I know I've got

some go-to things in my life where I'll listen to or watch and they'll just cheer me right up so I hope I hope that this was part of it for you guys and for those of you that it was I couldn't be more happy and honored and thank you so much

and as far as making a movie playing all my wacky characters man that's actually a really good idea I might have to look into that one day but as I said before my upcoming project that I've been working on that's been taking up a lot of my time

you're going to see shades of all my wacky characters in this upcoming project and and it's not just audio it's a visual product that you're going to be able to see soon probably in the new year and for those of you that are fans of the harland highway i think you'll recognize some of the uh the characters and the mannerisms and things like that so stay tuned all right thank you for your letter mike i appreciate the kind words Rod, let's have another letter here. All right, here we go. Here is the next letter from Matthew Ashley.

Okay, subject, absolute fan. Oh, boy, I like Absolute Fans' message. Hi, Harland. Unfortunately, I'm very far back on the highway. I only found your podcast a few months ago. I just wanted to reach out and tell you that you have such a beautiful mind. Oh, my gosh. I couldn't imagine how bad my stomach would hurt

if I was ever able to come to one of your shows. I'm excited to see what your big project is and follow your success closer as time goes on. The podcast about life slash depression was so uplifting and encouraging. I am not huge on politics, but you have a really good point about Donnie, that's Donald Trump, reaching out to Kimi.

Kim Jong-un. if more people have the same mindset the world could be an amazing place i am one that will now watch endgame after your your review even though it has my mind twisted like a pretzel knowing that i will invest three hours of my time to do it after hearing about how your friends were attacking you from all directions and left you in the trenches taking grenades i can now confirm my thoughts of you as my thoughts of you as a person everybody knows needs a friend like you harland most people don't take the time to understand to listen engage deep eye contact with a flower but you do and that's what makes you so incredible man man this is

this is a good one i pray that all your wishes in life are granted because you are somebody that is deserving of them i am so appreciative of your comedy and the intricate vision that you have the best of luck in the future and god bless wow that is just Matthew, thank you so much, man. That makes me feel emotional. You know, like I said in the last letter, the whole idea of this is to reach out to people and affect them and make them feel and laugh and a moat.

And Matthew, I'm glad that we were able to do that for you here. A beautiful letter. I mean, what a rewarding letter to get right at the end of my run here and it's just stuff like this that makes it all worth it so thank you it's been my absolute pleasure and uh let's see if we got another letter here gang oh my gosh all right here's one from david gershs gershenson subject puppy dog pals oh my animated show it says dude i like that word dude dude my kid is obsessed with this show, which he calls dog pals, even though it's puppy dog pals.

I've known your stand-up another work for a while, but great that you're hopefully doing well with this show, too. My little fella, Bo, is grateful. Best wish is David and Bo. Well, oh, thank you, David. Yes, the Puppy Dog Pals show is going amazingly well. We're working on the third season. Hopeful that there's a fourth season, even.

We'll have to wait and see. But right now we're into season three. There was a, someone put a fake blog out. It was sent to me by my producers. Somebody put a fake blog out that said, I had tweeted that puppy dog pals had been canceled, and there would be, you know, season three was the end of the road. And no, we don't know that.

And I would never say that. Why would I tell the world that my own show was canceled? Are you kidding? And it's not canceled, by the way. So we are moving along strong. We're in the middle of writing and animating season three. We're waiting to find out about a season four. And it is full steam ahead.

So I'm glad you and your little fella bow are digging it, man. And thank you so much for checking it out. And if you're on Twitter, check out at Puppie Pall's Bob. that's a Twitter page I set up just for puppy dog pal fans because I play Bob I do the voice of Bob the puppy dog pal's owner and you can check it out okay thank you let Roger let's do one more letter

I guess I should say fake Raj now right fake Raj who isn't even here let's do one more letter as if you know I'm pretending that see this is how attached I am to Roger I'm pretending that Roger is like sending me these emails, but I'm just doing it myself. I'm letting you in.

Here's the final letter from E.R. Tweedy. Harland, I've been struggling with my own sanity as it relates to the podcast ending, and I'm finally starting to come to grips with it. All of this introspective thought has made me think about your mental state. you don't want to think about my mental state. One, are you making this decision for the right reasons? Well, answer, no and yes.

I don't think there are any right reasons. My reasons are just practicality, and I feel like I've put in so much time to this, and in life you only get one shot at things, and I could do this until the day I died, but I want to offer people other things. I want to explore other avenues. I want to explore different sensibilities and levels of humor and everything else.

So I'm not doing it for the right reasons, but I'm not doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm just doing it because it's time. And I hope you understand that and aren't mad about it. Two, are you capable of making this decision? Yes, I'm in charge of the podcast. I own it. I run it. I do all of it.

And yes, I am capable of making this decision. It wasn't easy. You know, it wasn't easy to stop something that I love and that I get so much fulfillment out of and I know it brings fulfillment to others. But it's one of those things where you just have to come to that fork in the road and say, you know what?

Time to put my energy into something else. And then the third question, are you a fucking retarded fucknard? There's the frustration coming out. Yes, yes. I say, you know, I hear you, bro. I can tell you're a fan, and you're saying that sarcastically and in jest. It's like, if I could read your mind, it's like, and three, are you a fucking retarded fucknard?

I mean, seriously, dude, you're canceling the podcast? Are you fucking retarded? I think that's where that's going. And yeah, look, there's days when I'm, I get it. You know, like I said, there's things in life that I enjoy. And when they end, I'm like, are you serious? What are you doing? Why?

I like that. That made me laugh. why you, but alas, the time is here. And then finally, E.R. tweet, he says, I think we should get Dr. Ascot's take on this and make sure this isn't some sort of midlife crisis. I care about you so much. I'll lock you in a padded cell myself

if that's what Ascot recommends. I copied Ascot on this email, so he's aware of your situation, and I hope you get help soon. Try to keep your straight jacket clean while you're using your hands, since forks are dangerous, to eat your big bowl of chicken chalmain, baby.

Well, that's a cool letter. That's a guy that I can tell loves the podcast, doesn't want it to end, and is being funny and creative, trying to think of ways for me to pump the brakes. And I appreciate that ER Tweety. But, yeah, it's time. It's time, baby.

And even Dr. Ascot can't stop me. Oh, God. thank god roger didn't let him in the room um all right rog close up the uh the mailbag fake rog and uh thank you over the years for all your letters you guys amazing letters always great to hear your point of you some of you slammed me some of you praised me some of you are somewhere in between some of you asked me for help some of you thought i was a moron but that that's why i did the mailbag i wanted to hear at all. So there we go. We're closing it up for the last time. Thank you one and all. And there it goes.

Another letter from our last birthday. Oh, boy, I'm going to miss hearing from you guys. Thank you again for all your wonderful lattice. Your wonderful ladish. Let's see here. Let's see. What can I tell you as we wrap out the second last show. Oh my God. This just feels so weird

to say it. But let's see. Well, if you want to see me live, if you want to see me doing some live stand-up comedy, man. Some live stand-up comedy, please. This weekend, come to see me in Miami, Florida, bros. Miami, Florida. Are you kidding me? What a cool city.

I'll be at the Miami Impro. August 2nd, 3rd, and 4th, 3 nights, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, the Miami Improv. It is going to be off the Finchiznil, so I look forward to seeing you there. And then what else do I have coming up? I think that might be it for the summer. I want to get over to Burning Man. I'm trying to get to Burning Man again this summer. so unfortunately I won't be able to tell you about it

because I'm not going to be doing the podcast. That just felt so weird to say that because I've been sharing all this stuff with you guys and now I'm not going to be able to. Well, I still can. Like I said, I might drop the odd surprise podcast here and there, okay? So let's see what happens. Let's just see what happens.

But that's it for today. I hope you had a good time. Hey, maybe I'll see you at the sex festival. I'm heading up there right after the show. Me and Cinnamon Boy are jumping in an SUV. Maybe we'll pick up fake Roger. And we are going to hit that sex camp and do one of those doglins or whatever that term was,

that weird term. But that's it for today. Thank you all for your letters, phone calls, for your patronage. And until next time, chicken, show me. Baby. You can climb up a 20-foot cinnamon stick. Yeah.

And slide all the way down till you have cinnamon ring.