The Harland Highway - 377 SPECIAL GUEST David Koechner, SNL, Anchorman, hilarious!

Episode Date: March 5, 2012

Very SPECIAL guest, funnyman, actor, comedian DAVID KOECHNER from SNL, Anchorman, Talledega nights, e talk about the biz, Chris Farley, and of course the Harland Highway animal quiz. Saddle up my sling blade sauce!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, come on already. People always ask me, they're like, Harlan, you're a comedian. So who makes you laugh? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I can say this with 100% accuracy, one of the funniest guys I've ever met. And this guy makes me laugh. David Keckner. And he is my special guest today on the Harlan Highway.

You know David from his roles in Anchorman, and he used to be on Saturday Night Live, and he's in Talladega Nights, and I mean, this guy's been in a million movies, a million TV shows, and we got him right here today. Uh, hilarious, improviser, actor, comedian, just all around. Great guy. All today here on the Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Relax. Get ready to have fun. Wow. What we've got here is failure to communicate.

One cheeseburger with everything coming up. You just made a wrong turn. Turn onto the Harland Highway. Look at me, Damien. It's all for you. This is Harland Williams. I'm a human being. God damn it. Hey everybody.

David Kekker is coming to your town. Wrong bar, buddy. Take it down. I want this music out of my head. Hey, everybody, this is Harland Williams, and you are on the Harlan. Highway. And what a treat today. Dare I say, what a Chinese roasted treat. Unbelievable guest. Samuel L. Jackson is here today. Is that? No. I just get his emails and I showed up. Oh, so sorry, my bad. This is David Kekner, ladies and gentlemen. Nearly the same. Nearly the same.

Incredible actor, comedian. One time I know he was a stewardess. Were you? Yes. What airline? It's defunct. It was Trans World. Oh, what happened to them? I wrote it to the ground. What you, but you were the stewardess, not the pilot.

But they had me do a lot of the accounting, too. Oh, wow. Not good with numbers. So you would serve fish and chicken and peanuts, and then when you landed, you'd get into the books? Right. I do a lot of the books up in the air, too. How did you possibly have time? I didn't.

I just guessed. Oh, wow. That's no longer in service. Did you have any interest financial? Did you have stock? No, nothing. So you could, you walked away from this debacle clean. Well, I didn't get my last check.

It was an hourly thing and they just closed shop and said, out. How much are you out, though? Oh, I was 50 bucks. And believe me, I stole that in toiletries. I actually came out ahead. You stole from the company you worked for. Of course. When I leave your place today, I will have things of yours.

Wow. But I announced it, so it's almost not like stealing. As long as it's not my virginity guy. That's been gone a long time ago. Well, welcome to this show. David Kekner, folks. You all know them. You all love them.

You've seen them in Will Ferrell movies. I mean, can we list off some of your movies? Sure. I'm Champkind from Anchorman and Todd Packer from the office. That's how people know me mostly. What do you say we go out on a date? That's some chicken, maybe some sex. you know see what happens also

Talladega Nights is a wildly popular picture that movie was great yeah yeah so that if they don't know me from that they're like I don't care about it and Saturday Night Live did a season there yeah a million things you know what the most important credit I have today what friend of Harlan Williams

is that a movie did I overstate it well I haven't seen that one it's a lifelong show oh it's like a reality show i did overstep you yeah this is odd should we stop you want to okay well thanks for coming in david keckner ladies and gentlemen i'm so sorry yeah this is uh we never really got off the ground

but then again neither did your airline i wanted it so badly uh we apologize folks thanks for tuning in train wreck can we uh try this again do trains make uh sound i think if they run over something Like a moose, and they get intestines and oil and grease in the wheel. They will make that noise. A squeaking sound. Have you ever run over anything? You look like the type of guy that might have hit a Korean kid or something? No, I'm from a small town in the Midwest.

I'm sure I've hit something. Squirrel, cat. Well, that's very ambiguous. I think you would remember if you hit a living creature with a vehicle. Now, Guy, what are you covering up? I can't tell you. Was it a Korean kid? I don't want to announce the ethnicity

But it was a kid Yes Unbelievable you're just I don't know I'm almost ready to stop the show again It may have been a humorous hit and run Oh so it was like the kid Bounced off your car

Went into a ditch Bounced up hit another kid on a bike Killed that kid Through a window Knocked an old lady off her wheelchair Killed her like a triple The first two kids did not die It was the old lady

that expired. Wow. Here's the best thing. I had taken out an insurance policy on the elderly two weeks before that. And I'm completely clean on this.

Collected, yes. How much? I can't say. Half a mill. Anything more to have been suspicious. Wow. Yeah.

You're, see, I didn't know like you're an actor, you're a comedian, but I didn't know the business side of you. Like, you ran an airline into the ground. Right. You collected money off

an old bag can i call it an old bag murder i wouldn't have it any other way like a bag murder i'm a perpetrator of fraud h and a petty thief oh yeah because you're going to steal from here yeah it might be something so small as a pen usually i like to grab something that's useful that you'll notice like just like a singular item like where's that where's like i see a paintbrush the big one yeah that might go you're like where's the big paintbrush i have i see a lot of golf trophies on the wall. Where's that my favorite trophy? There'd be something. Huh. What about that stack of $700 I have over there? No. I don't think you'd miss

that. Huh. Okay. Well, don't say I didn't offer. Well, right. Now that you've offered, I won't take it. But then again, if I'm Nancy Drew and I'm solving a mystery, why would you need money after you just took in a half mill for the old bag murder? Right. Do you even know her name? You killed an old lady? Do you even know her name? Do you care? Of course I know her name. I took out the insurance policy. Who was it? What was her name? Esther. Esther, what? Gland. Glant as in adrenal gland? I love how this has turned into more of an interrogation than anything else.

Well, I wanted to have a nice conversation and ask you questions about your career. But all these volatile things have emerged almost immediately. Death got introduced right away. Well, my producers are giving me the rapid up signal. And I just see. can't because I'm almost more intrigued than I am appalled. Right. You're like drawing me in. You're like a light bulb and I'm a retarded mop. And there you do the evil laugh.

As if you knew that the whole time. And it's daylight. Wow. Yeah. You set this whole thing up, this podcast. You'll never get out of here. All right, let me get to my question. I always prepare questions for my guests and I'm happier here.

Don't take this the wrong way. I love it that you're here. I love it more than you do. Can I tell you something really quick? We might be related. Okay. Wow, I didn't expect that bombshell. Yeah.

We're going to draw blood today. Talk. My grandfather was adopted. And so he was not a Kekner. I'm not actually a Kekner. He was adopted out of New York, Sisters of Mercy, went down via New Orleans. They went down and got him, brought him up,

trucked him up to Tipton, Missouri. His last name? Williams. Oh, really? Give me some of that blood. Don't run for me. Give me blood. Wow.

Give me blood, Williams. Really? That would, I think that would make sense. Yeah. You don't have a choice. We have to get along. We're family, H. Does this mean I have to buy you a Christmas present this year?

Yep. Or is that what this bullshit story was all about? You just want a present. Well, two, because actually my birthday comes before Christmas, so that's a double-dipper. What's your birthday? August 24th. One's yours. Capricorn, ladies, give them a hand.

That's actually a Virgo, but very... Very much not close. I've read your star sign. Capricorns love... They don't like butter on their popcorn at the movies. Nope. And they think rainbow smell. They do.

Oh. A lot of people don't have that sense. What do they smell like? Like bad candy. If you ever smelled candy that went bad, that's what a rainbow smells like. I've smelled candy gone bad in my neighbor's teeth. There you go. Wow.

Am I too close to my neighbor? Why are you wearing your neighbor's teeth? Gum, gum, jabby, jabby, gum, gum. When's your birthday? Oh, nosy. Yeah? Well, November. November what?

14. I will never forget it. Same as Prince Charles. Well, you should remember it now that you stated we're brothers. We are practically brothers. I hope this isn't another ploy. We're brothers, air quotes, so you can take out an insurance policy on me. Sign here.

Oh, you son of a bit. Sign here. What if I signed like this, like a deaf guy? Then where would you be? I would videotape it and say, there you go, Your Honor. That'd be like an air signature. Yes. Wow, may you wake up surrounded with Air Jordans?

I don't even know what that mean. All right, first question. Here we go. Come on. Zing it. Does getting humans to Mars make sense? And if so, would you go? No and no.

For your two-part question, makes no sense to me, and I would not go. First of all, why doesn't it make sense to get humans to Mars? Don't we have to forge forward as a human race? I think that's a misuse of funds. Now, the argument to be made there is that continual space exploration has helped all of mankind. We've gotten an enormous amount of technological advancement because of our desire. to explore space. Exactly, right.

I have no problem with a continued exploration of space, but why Mars? Just because it's the next planet out. So you're going to have an incredible... My question is this. Does the expenditure equal the advancement?

And I don't know that. I'm just asking that question. I think that now that we've hit this information age in technology's increased abilities, the exponential increase in technological advancements going on anyway that I'm not sure that it will be advanced that much more by a space, more space, continued space exploration. You ever watch The Singularity?

It's a movie about Ray Kurzweil. And he's a futurist, and he talks about the merging of humans and technology, which is inevitable. Yeah, that'll happen. That's happening now. Right. No, I used to think, we always think it's in terms of cyborgs, but he's talking about nanotechnology. He talks about the idea that your phone is much more advanced than what took us to the moon, right, that computer. True. True. He was holding... Never thought of it that way. I like that.

What you carry around in your pocket, in your hand, next to your balls, every day, had to say balls. Yeah. You've got to keep this thing R-rated. Gum, gum, joby, joby. Blow job. Anyway, you got to keep the listeners involved. Yeah, no, I hear you. He said, what you hold in the palm of your hand used to take an entire building of computers. Yeah, true. And it used to cost, you know, half a billion dollars. Now that thing is $200 and it's in your hand. So the advancement in technology gets smaller and smaller, smaller, and the price gets lower and lower and more.

Technology will eventually cure cancer, disease, all diseases will cure poverty. All these things are possible. But what good is it all if we're not on Mars? I don't want to be cancer-free on Earth. And that is the quandary exactly where I stand with you. Why do it if we can't be on the big red planet? That was my whole point in saying no twice. But would you go?

Honestly, if you got the opportunity to go, would you go? How long is it take to get there? At current time or the time in the future? I think it wasn't it like nine months to get there? Yeah. But each day, our day is 24 hours. Their day is like 42 hours. So think of the overtime you'd amass.

Oh, right. That makes no sense. Here's the thing a lot of people that know about that trip to Mars. You can't get out of your seat. Come on. At no point, because normally on a flight, it's free to roam about the cabin. on the trip to Mars you cannot get out of your seat wait a minute you used to be a stewardess right you could be up out of your seat the whole time yes so you you'd go right because i would be a

stewardess on the flight to mars that'd be the only condition of which i'd travel wow isn't it funny how fate turns you back around and things come into play that you thought you left behind sign here wow unbelievable good answer would you go i'd go in on in a second For nine months? I mean, then you're there, and here's the thing. What if you don't dig the people you're flying with? Then when you get to Mars, my guess is it's a pretty small space station. I don't know.

I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's there. Right. And think about this. The amount of blood I'm drawing from you today is just a vial, right? Just a test for paternity and a couple other things. Yeah. But they draw blood daily on Mars.

Who does? The Martians Oh, come on now What do you think you're going there for? I thought we were going there to look for micro-bacterias and enzymes and seeds. Harley, your food on Mars. Come on. Okay.

So this is, you're looking out for me, this is a warning. We're brothers. I don't want to lose my brother. No. We need more of us. We're Irish, right? Right. We should form a.

gang and moved to Boston. We already saved civilization. Because we went to Mars. Right? Hey everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to

Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Oh, the Celtic moonfarers are not as documented as they should be. And the Welsh, Williams is a Welsh name. Right. Wait, that's, you can't say, right?

That's like what the teenagers are saying, we're not, right? I threw a question mark on the end. I'm very happy. Oh, God. All right, let's move on. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. We've already gone to Mars and back, folks.

I don't know what you're doing. strap in. We've already gone to Mars and back. We've gone all the way back through several genealogy trees. We've done some spulunking. Which brings us to this question, what the hell is a parsnip? That is a herb. It is? I thought it was like a vegetable. It's a vegetable. Well, what is? I don't know what it is. Where do they come from? Parsnip, parsnip, parsnip. Sounds like a root. Sounds like a like a radish or a celery or carrot. Have you eaten a parsnep? Not to my knowledge. Oh.

And I never will. Well, what veggie do you hate? Everyone hates a veggie. I'm not a big fan of onions. Really? Yeah. How do you cry? Oh, I cry daily just because of my loss of our great friendship. And it is a loss. Wait. You don't know that? You don't read your

emails? It's not. You just announced you're my family. I know, but I broke up with you weeks ago via email that's probably in your spam folder i thought that's why you invited me over here today and by the way listeners first time i've been invited to the residence first time i've been knowing you for at least 16 17 years yeah did we meet in montreal the first time in 96 we in montreal 96 god i don't remember we may have met there first time i remember me to you was at the audition for Charlotte's Web. Do you remember we went to Charlotte's Web?

We met before that. Yeah, but I don't remember. Where was it? You and I worked together on a little movie called Wag the Dog. Oh, yeah, that's where we met. God, what's the matter with me? Yes. Immediately was in love with Harlan Williams because you made me laugh so hard.

We made a tiny little scene together. Well, two words, then the camera just moved. And I was like, what's going on? We were originally supposed to meet and work in another movie, an indie movie called, it was like a country singer. Dill Scallion? Dill Scallion. That came after.

That came after? Wag the dog was first. Dill Scalion was next. Were you going to be Dill? I was going to be Dill. What happened? I ended up, this is bizarre. I ended up, I had a comedy festival in Ireland booked.

Yep. And where our roots are. Yeah, and I was going to miss the start date by two days, and I was going to come back for it, and one of my managers says, don't do it, it's an indie movie. And I was still naive. I didn't know anything about the industry, and I was like, oh, okay, I guess I won't do it then. Right. And I've regretted it ever since. Really? Well, mostly because I would have been able to improvise.

A lot of that movie was improvised. Right. I would have been able to improvise with you, and it was just kind of a fun movie with singing. and it was about a country star or something. Right. Did you like it? I did. I had a great, great time. Jordan Brady directed it, wrote and directed it. It was very funny script, remember?

Yeah. Very funny. I know. Here's the thing. Here's what you missed. $98 a day. I know. It was less taxes and commissions, folks.

So that's around 46. Yeah. I think that's what my managers were nervous about there. Like you just did like this, this and this. What are you doing this for? But I've learned in this industry, do what you like, do what you're going to have fun with. It's all going to work out. Don't chase the begonias.

Here's our next question, and we're with David Kekner here, unbelievable. My brother, a stewardess, and a murderer. If you had a choice, well, you know, I'm just telling, I'm recapping. Hey, you have not said anything that was not true. Yeah. Now, if you had a choice between churning butter, laying down a cobblestone road in England. How far is the road? How far?

We're talking, well, it's England, so it would be colloquial. kilometers, 42 kilometers, or spending the night in a tent with the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz, which one would you pick? I have to ask another question. Is the Tin Man alive or dead? Because is it, it's not... Alive. It's not...

Burt Larr was the lion, right? Yeah. You know the original Tin Man? The Beverly Hills Billy's guy. He was Bud Ebson. You know why he had to quit? He almost died. Yes, the makeup they used almost collapsed his lungs.

Can't remember the name of the original. original tin man i would have to say uh well spend an evening with the original tin man the original or the the guy that actually played the oh you're talking about the original guy from beverly hills billies buddy ebson he's passed right but you got look up real quick see who played the tin man well it was that guy with the big eyes and they paint but but when you say buddy ebson had a reaction to it was the paint right the silver paint they put on them but which is interesting and a lot of people don't know this he went on to play

one of the girls in Goldfinger where they painted his whole body gold and they found any he did okay with that he did okay with that scene got cut what it's in the movie that scene got cut from where he's laying dead on the bed covered in gold paint oh that one no

that didn't get cut that was still in the movie yes that was him yeah unbelievable ass he wanted to prove that he could still do it that he couldn't that you know cosmetics weren't to keep him out of the business right yeah now it doesn't matter why are you twisting my questions around it doesn't matter which incarnation of the tin man it was it's just the tin man he's made of 10 he's oily he squeaks

please answer the question without twisting it around and manipulating me can i take out an insurance policy gosh you know okay i'll i'll sleep with a tin man you'll be over putting down a cobblestone road and churning butter well i'm going to churn the tin man's butter oh lord Love a lemonade stand All right So we've both been in Will Farrell movies Yep I'm gonna say it I love Will

Do you love the Will? Of course He's easy man to love He is just great I mean He's one of the funniest guys You and him are just the funniest guys I think I've ever met

You don't have to add me Just because I'm sitting right here Next to you with a gun No no you Corky is the funniest ever But what I want to know is We didn't work on the same Will Ferrell movie together

I worked on Superstar, and you worked on Talladega Nights and Anchorman. Do you have any funny behind-the-scene Will Ferrell stories that you can share with our listeners? Something that went down in the trailer or you guys went out to dinner or goofing around. Something off the set where, or maybe it was on the set that people won't know about. Well, nothing that's outrageous enough to qualify as a very interesting story other than Will is just a quiet guy. and just a lot of fun to be around. Here's my only, sorry, we went to Ireland one year. My year on SNL was myself, Will, his first year, my first year,

Adam McKay, who wrote and directed Anchorman and Teledganites and stepbrothers. And then Tom Giannis, who was a director from Second City and a writer on Saturday Night Live, and does a lot of work directed Nick Swartson's show on Comedy Central. Oh, yeah. The four of us go to Ireland. Wow. On a trip. It's like the month.

Mud Squad. Yeah, a trip that was cooked up by Mark McKinney. Oh, yeah. Now, Mark had a baby, couldn't go. Norm Hizcock, another great Canadian, was supposed to come with us. His wife had just had a baby. And he was telling me that he goes, remember that trip? I kind of asked my wife, and she's like, you're not really asking me to go to Ireland.

They had a baby. Their second child was two weeks old. And they were living in New York. The first one was only two years old. And she's like, are you kidding me? You and the guys? So was myself, Will Farrell, Adam McKay, and Tom Giannis, all big guys. stepped into a Toyota Corolla.

We didn't make any plans. We flew over a two-week break at Saturday Night Live. Got to Shannon Airport and pulled out a map. We had a car on a map and no reservations anywhere. Whoa. So we just started driving. Did you have a camera? Were you filming it?

Yes. I still have like 800 pictures developed somewhere in a basement here in Los Angeles. Oh, so this was, no, what I'm saying is this wasn't like a videotape like show. This was just a vacation. Yes. should have been videotaped. But Will, even there, he's just so quietly funny.

He doesn't have this compulsion to do bits. He's just a quietly subversive. There's got to be one. Come on, I'm not stopping with you going on a trip with babies. There must have been, even if it was something he said, let me give you one and maybe it'll spark. Very good. You're right.

He's quiet and he doesn't do shtick, but when we were doing superstar, as you know, when you're shooting a movie, all the actors get their own little trailer and the trailers are usually equipped with a bathroom and a little stereo and a microwave oven and a fridge and Will one day we were in between shots and Will says to me and goes

hey man you want to come over to my trailer at lunchtime and I go oh why what's you going on and he goes well I got the microwave oven over there I got a Thanksgiving turkey cooking in there it's just like but he plays it so serious right and it's just like hilarious so funny little story so anything like that i'm really just hoping you share anything and not deprive the listeners on the harland highway well this isn't a great story but here's what happened the first week after we're filming uh it was going great which movie

anchorman anchorman it was going great and apparently each all four of us myself and will and Steve Carell and Paul Rudd had all secretly gone, not secretly, we'd gone home and told our wives about our insecurity like, oh my God, I'm not, I'm not keeping up. These guys are killing it. Oh, no. That was the only thing. It was a little bit amusing that we'd all felt like, oh, man,

everyone else is killing it. Wait, for real? For real. Oh, wow. Each one of us had an insecurity of like, these other guys are so great. I don't know what I'm doing. Isn't that funny?

You guys are all incredible in that movie. Yep. Like people were just laughing at all of you guys. Yeah. I will say that we were, we'd always hang out together between takes and then, you know, all that stuff. And there was a point about halfway through the movie, we were all kind of realizing, not kind of, we were like, this is really good. Yeah. This is uncommonly good. And we all kind of like didn't want to talk about it because in baseball, you don't talk about it if it's no hitter. Yeah.

It felt like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this is. When are they going to do another one? You know what? They had an idea, and they went and pitched it Paramount, but the purse strings there say no, because they don't feel like it's an international movie,

and that's how they make money. You know, I can't spend it someone else's money. But they have a certain budget idea. They want to make it for the same price they made the first one. Just like, come on. And Will and those guys all brought their price down to make this thing. And for whatever reason, I don't know, it's crazy to me. And that window's closing.

Yeah. It's like people say to me, when are you doing another half-baked, dude? And it's like, you know, I got a bit of gray in my hair now. It's like nobody likes the later Cheech and Chong movies. You know, it's like they should be smoking a diaper or something, you know. Yeah. But it's funny you mention the international thing because, you know,

we probably go in and pitch ideas and movies around town. And I know when I do, I get a lot of this now. The producers are like, well, can we make it international? Like, can we figure out a way that they end up in Paris? Right. Or over and, you know, it's weird. It's like they act as if there's no money in the United States of America. Right.

If it doesn't make $150 million, they're not interested. Yeah. They need to spend $20 million and make $70. Right. Rather than let's just spend $20 and make $20. Yeah. You can't. Nope, not good enough.

Their overhead is so high. They've got to pay so many other bills. It's like, you know, these corporations have to just make obscene amounts of money. That's why you see these big blockbusters and they'll gamble $200 million. knowing they're going to make $400 million. Right. It's like Ghost Protocol made like excess of $200 million here in the U.S. But because it was shot over in Dubai and other parts of the world,

it's probably going to rake in $600 million from the rest of the world. International stars. You've got Simon Pegg from London. You've got that star from the Bollywood pictures. Yeah. So they were smart in that they sprinkle an international cast in there. And isn't Peggy Lipton in it? No.

You mean the ice skater, the dancer? The singer? Yes. Peggy Lee. Yes, Brenda Lee, you mean. Brenda Lee, who's that? She's the singer. What about Peggy Lee?

I don't know who that is. You know, okay. Bad reference. Was that on your sheet? No, that wasn't on my sheet. That just popped into my head, and I really wish it didn't. But I'll probably go back in and blame you later. Somehow I'll do a thing.

There's back-ins? Okay. Here's a quickie, and this is just a yes or no answer. Do people who square dance smell like squid? Yes. Excellent. That's correct. It's inexplicable.

That's correct. Thank you. Let's move on, staying on the entertainment thing. What's one of your fondest memories in the biz? Because you've done Saturday Night Live. You've done sitcoms. You're on the show The Office, which are hilarious. You've done probably, what, 30 movies by now?

Is it 30? It might be. 25, 30 movie, maybe more? More than that. Yeah. Yeah. What's one of your standout favorite moments in the biz? And I know there's a lot, but what's one that when you tell your friends about your universe, your world, where's one that you usually go?

I'll never forget this. Well, I came up in Chicago through a time when there was an amazing group of people, and you don't know that until you look back. You're like, my God. Like who? Give me some name. Chris Farley and I started together. Oh, wow, Harley. We, Mike Myers, used to come.

Mike was a Second City player in Toronto, and he was waiting to get his green card at Second City, Chicago. Wow. So he'd work out with us all the time at the Improvimic. Adam McKay, he and I came up together. While I was in Chicago, there was Steve Colbert, Steve Corell, Rachel Dratch, Tina Faye, Amy Poehler, Horatio Sands. Good Lord.

Adam McKay, I mentioned Tom Giannis, Kevin Dorff, Brian McCann, Brian Stack, all longtime Conan Riders, Tommy Block. Andy, Andy Richter. I mean, the list goes on and on and on and on. And when you're there, you're just thinking, wow, what a fabulous group of people I get to work with. You look back and go, my God. Yeah. Yeah.

Was Peggy Lee on that list? Still is. Now, again, you've kind of skirted the question, so I'm going to go back to you named a lot of great people. What was one of your biggest, like, most favorite moments? Is that what you're saying it is just coming up with all those people? Is that the answer? Because there's too many great moments. Yeah.

We've had great nights on stage. Yeah. Where you just, everything comes together. We're improvising. Yeah. And we, you know, we used to call that a herald when every cylinder fires. Yeah, yeah. And so, well, the greatest moments, I guess, where there was a series, there was a one-year period where we're on two improv teams.

Ours was called fish stick, awful. No, no, theirs was called fish stick. And ours was called Raging Denial. And myself and Farley McCann, a bunch of all these other guys. And we do both groups. would do two shows on Fridays and Saturdays and it was just magic. It was just magic. What a group.

I know. No one got paid. We just drank beer for free, but the owner wasn't quite aware of it. And we just had a party every night. And then we'd carry it on to someone else's house and get a case of bud and finish it four o'clock in the morning. It was just that was the best. Why wasn't I around? You were in Canada

working magic in the Northern Lights. God. Well, let me ask this. And if it's too sensitive, you don't have to answer. But I think our listeners would like to know. Obviously, it sounds like you were close with Farley. We had some fun, yeah. And, you know, where were you when he passed on? And what was your, what was your emotions with that? I had moved to L.A. It was 90, it was the fall of 96. Yeah. And, well, it kind of breaks your heart. Yeah. Right? You don't know how to digest that right

away. You want to reach out to other people and just kind of sit there. You're a little bit numb when you hear the news. Yeah. But I knew that Chris was struggling. When you say struggling, like, with addiction and things like that? He'd been in and out of rehab, I think, in the teens. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm teen times. And I wasn't close to him the way you were, but I bumped into him, like, at a couple of Hollywood parties, and maybe you can verify this. But he was as amped up and hyper at those parties as you see him on Saturday Night Live.

And it started me thinking, is this guy up this high in adrenaline all the time? Yeah. Now, as your father probably told you, my name is Matt Foley, and I am a motivational speaker. Now let's get started by letting me give you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about. First off, I am 35 years old. I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river. Now, you kids are probably saying to yourselves, hey, I'm going to go out and I'm going to get the world by the tail

and wrap it around and pull it down and put it in my pocket. Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably going to find out as you go out there that you're not going to amount to Jack Squat. It's interesting because here's a guy. that seemed completely in love with life. He was always happy. Yeah. He was always super humble.

He was always funny, always ready to do a bit. The most committed actor I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah. You know, when you say who's the funniest, you have to say Farley's the funniest. There's no question. Just because of his commitment. Just what he would do, the audacity of what

Farley would just do. He didn't care. He jumped all the way in. He just do it. I'll tell you another guy like that, Jim carry to me is like that. Jim goes all the way in. He doesn't care about his pride, his ego. It's inspired. I think a lot of the clue for people in comedy listening, and I try to follow this motto, is don't be afraid of feeling or looking like a fool. Right. Because comedy is for fools. Comedians are fools to a degree. And you got to go, you got to just like throw the barn doors open and look like an idiot. Let go, yeah. Let go. Yeah. And it sounds like,

Farley. Well, that's a sad story, and it sounds like you had some great times with him, and God rest his soul. I hope he's... This will sound real cheesy, and you may walk off, but I hope he's making the angels laugh. Can you stay? You know what's

interesting? Chris had this thing carried around his wallet called a clown's prayer, and basically it was the clown's duty is like God's telling the clown what to do. I don't have it anymore. I used to carry my wallet, too. But at the end it was something like

remember that when you made other people smile, you made me smile too or God smile too. Wow. Yeah, so You know, this is a parallel story. I knew a janitor who worked at Ringling Brothers and he had it up to here with the clown's duty.

He said they clogged more. Well, you know, if you're going to talk about it, why can't I? You can. I'm looking at you with awful heat, but the listeners don't know that. Yeah, yeah. Well, let's move on. Thank you for sharing. uh unbelievable uh stories uh with us and uh that's wonderful um and uh we're not going to go out on a melancholy note we're going to go out on uh what we call uh the harland highway animal quiz

my favorite part of the show and we do this with all our guests that come to the show and what we do so anyone who hasn't heard it before is we uh give our guest our special guest David Kekner in this case, four clues to four different animals, and somewhere in those clues, you have to find the name of the bird, the mammal, the insect, the reptile, whatever. It's only one animal I have to identify, but other animals' clues will help me identify those single animals. The little paragraph I give you, the little blurb I give you,

will help you discover. And I tried to kind of make these ones a little movie themed to help you along. Is there a musical or animal sting that accompanies this? Yes, there is a theme song, and if you want to throw to it, why don't you say, here we go with the Harland Highway Animal Quiz. Ladies and gentlemen, this is David Kekner, and here we go with the Harland Highway Animal Quiz. It's time for the Harland Highway Animal Quiz.

And here we go. That was a great throw. Thanks. Were you ever a pitcher in school? Because you got a great throw. Always in the dirt. And if you'd like to throw up with that little joke I just did, please do that too. All right, here we go. Here we go.

Our first question for the Harland Highway Animal Quiz for our special guest, David Kekner. You all set, buddy? All set. Here we go. I'm just a little bird, but if I were to go into movies, I'd be a swashbuckling pirate. Okay. I'll read it again. I'm just a little.

So do I guess that bird? You have to guess the bird. It's a parrot. Ooh, no. Parakeet. Listen again. I'm just a little bird, but if I were to go. Swallow.

Sparrow, it's a sparrow. Oh, look at that. Sparrow, of course. He got it. Why? Well, little bird, I thought sparrow right away. And then when you said pirate, I thought parrot, but of course, it's a sparrow. Jack Sparrow.

See, you can do this. Yes, I can. Are you ready for the next one? Yes. I'm a bird who you can find doing this at a funeral, dot, dot, dot, and a bar of soap. Listeners are thinking to bar of soap and a funeral. I'm a bird who you could find doing this at a funeral, dot, dot, dot, dot, and a bar of soap. A dove.

No, not it? Half of it. Dove soap, dove. Crow. You've got the bar of soap. What would you find someone doing at a funeral? Dove cry. Oh, when doves cry?

Yes, Prince. Doves cry? No, no. You got to guess the name of the, it's a type of dove. Oh. Funeral dove. What would you? What?

The death dove, the funeral dove. No, no. What would you be doing at a funeral? Crying. Oh, around there. Sobbing dove? Oh, close. Bigging dove?

Close. Eating dove. It's a vulture dove. It's a flesh-eating dove. That's what it is. And it's eating the corp. Yes, of course. No, you're all around it.

It's also a time of day. It's something you do at a funeral. Is a morning dove? Oh. There he goes. He leads you right down the plath. Just go with it. Trust Harlan.

You got the morning dove. You're two for two, kid. Not really. No, you are. Yeah, you've got it. I didn't say morning. You did. There's a lot of bandage.

Why do you have to be? beat yourself up. All right. Let's go to question three. Here we go. If you know the last name of a famous actor named Dennis and figure out what he was smoking in one of his movies, you will know my name.

And this isn't a bird. Now we've jumped to the insect world. Grasshopper. Oh, look at that. You're on fire, kid. Is that right? Yeah. If you know the last name of a factor name,

famous actor named Dennis, Dennis Hopper, and figure out what he was smoking in one of his movies. Grass. You got yourself? Grass quade. No, you had it right the first time. Again, my producer's telling me to wrap this up, but I'm not going to. Why is your producer have a crossbow pointed at me? That's made me uncomfortable the entire time. Well, did you ever see the movie Deliverance? Yes, I did. He is Bert Reynolds' ex-lover. Incredible. Yeah. Well, the people we meet here at this podcast. That's worth the trip right there. Yeah. There is a petting zoo

too. Yes, there is. And it's porcupines only. That's it. We supply the gloves. All right. Amazing variety. Yes. You ready for your last animal quiz? Yes. Here we go, buddy. This is it. I am the type of expensive seafood that

Ozzy, Zeppelin, and Guns and Roses might eat. No. No, you have to answer, not me. Oh. It's like your eyes threw it back to me. Like caviar. No, it's not the answer.

Okay. But think of the clues. I am the type of expensive seafood that Ozzy, Zeppelin, and Guns and Roses might eat. Rock shrimp? Ooh, you're all around it. No. Rock lobster.

There it is. Gentlemen and ladies. That's a bird. A lobster's a bird. What are you talking about? You said it wasn't a bird. No, it's a seafood. lobster's not a bird no lobsters live underwater buddy pretty sure it is wait wait a minute you know what this morning when i woke up i saw some lobsters sitting on the the uh telephone wire

clicking their claw right what do do do do do do do do do do do do do you doda rock lobster oh god okay well see i learned something new here today myself well you know what buddy you went out on a very high note four out of four for your first quiz. Well, they were great clues. Has anybody else gotten four out of four? Is everybody? No, no. Not everybody gets four out of four.

Andy Dick, uh, Andy Dick was incredibly good. Yeah. He got four out of four, which I was surprised. He's a bright guy. He's very funny. He's hilarious. Wouldn't you say Andy's one of the most naturally funny guys? Yes.

Because without even trying, that guy's just hysterical. As are you. Well, yes. But, uh, but Andy was not a stewardess. No. No, but you were. Ironically, he was a steward. Oh, ironically, his, no, his, um,

I don't like the way you're looking at it. I was going to make a Stewart little joke, but I couldn't put it together. Oh, well, that'll be for the, that'll be someone else's question, animal question. All right. Dave, David Kekner, can you please tell the folks where they can see you next, where they can reach out to you and become fans. I'm sure you have a Twitter. I'm sure you have a Facebook.

We want to get you as much exposure as we can. Thanks, H. To help you through life. Talk to the folks. All right. On Facebook, it's just David Kekner public page, a fan page on Twitter. It's at David Kekner. And I do have a website, David Kekner.com.

I am going to be at the Paris Casino in Las Vegas. In Las Vegas. Yes. And then Minervas in Idaho in April. Minervas. Yeah. Is that like a soup restaurant? What is?

I think it is a chain of restaurants. It's going to be very interesting. I'm not sure exactly what it is. Delicious soup, Minerva. Yeah. Very good. Onions. But you don't like onions. I don't like onions.

I'll have them take it out. All right. Well, we're going to take you out right out of the show because we're at the end of the line, buddy. This has been a blast. Thank you for being here. Thanks, brother. Ladies and gentlemen, David Kekner, watch his movies, go to his shows. look them up on the internet uh one of the funniest uh stewardess is alive thank you buddy

thanks harland thank you're welcome and until next time would you mind putting that stuff back please you saw that yeah i brought this in oh looks a well it's got my initials on it that's my middle name and my grandfather's original last name oh age all right folks well we are done Thank you, and until next time. A rock lobster! Chicken chowmaine, baby. You know, you can beat a breathalyzer by sucking on activated charcoal tablets. Don't the police wonder why you're sucking on charcoal?

There's no longer it's charcoal. Yeah. Thank you.