The Harland Highway - 386: COW FARTS, COMPUTER HACKERS, HEAVEN

Episode Date: April 5, 2012

Going to heaven, cow farts, the LORAX movie, computer hackers, new ice cream flavors, eye ear nose and throat doctors. Clunkey crackle corn!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bu-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- Well, no, it's not. The Harland Highway is the words, not the bird. In fact, you might want to give me the bird by the time this is over. I certainly hope not. It's me, Harlan Williams, here on the Harlan Highway in the Bird-Free Zone. And speaking of birds, we're going to be talking about heaven today. Okay? Are you willing to grow wings and fly?

fly around in heaven like a bird. We're going to find out. Not only that, we're going to be looking at some new ice cream flavors. We're going to be stopping by an ice cream store. I have a friend there, and we're going to be trying out some new ice cream flavors. And we're going to get into the topic of hackers, computer hackers. Is there a reason for them? Are they a good thing?

Are they a bad thing? I'm not sure. Let's talk. Can we talk? Can we fought? Yeah, we're going to be talking about farts, cow farts, okay? There's actually a real practical use for cow farts. And we're going to get into that.

How's your eyes, your ears, your nose, your throat? You ever have to go to a specialist? Well, let's talk about what that's all about. And then lastly, I'm going to review the movie, The Lorax. I wasn't happy with it. You're going to hear about it right here on the Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway Relax, get ready to have fun

What we've got here is failure to communicate One cheeseburger with everything coming up You just made a wrong turn onto the Harland Highway Look at me, Damien, it's all for you This is Harland Williams I'm a human being, God damn it! Did you think you were in heaven? Ha?

Harlan Williams. Keep my eye on you like a little guardian angel. Oh, wow. I don't know. Heaven. Flying around with wings. Floating everywhere. Everything's beautiful.

What if you see a guy you never liked? What if your fat neighbor Larry? is there the guy that always borrowed your lawnmower you gotta be all nice in heaven hey larry i love you man oh keep the lawnmore dude yeah it's got wings on it too yeah hey it's a floating lawnmore yeah you can't swear in heaven man what if you stub your toe ow ow oh oh that was great oh what if you see a hot chicken heaven man there's no inappropriate behavior in heaven? Imagine flying around on your wings and having a little fun.

The Mile High Club. You're not even allowed to do it. You got your own wings. You've got to be good in heaven. Could be torture. I hope other things don't go to heaven, man. Some people think everything goes there. You hear that saying all good dogs go to heaven?

I don't want to get to heaven and see the mean ass pit bull from the end of my street. And now he's got wings. So I can't even, like, jump up on a car and get away or hide behind a fence? He'll just flap over. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Flying pit bulls in heaven. Tell you what, if I'm going to get my ass bit by a pit bull angel,

I just might as well go join that Mile High Club up there and take my chances. Can never win. Not even in the afterlife. You know who you might not see up in heaven? And I'm not sure. I'm kind of iffy about this one. Because I'm not sure how it fits into the criminal world. But hackers, computer hackers, okay?

It's a weird crime because it's kind of an invisible crime. Some guy could do it from a Starbucks. Some guy can do it from his coffee table. Some guy can do it from an underground bunker. And what they're doing is they're hacking into other people's websites, other people's private emails. They're disrupting the flow of information. Maybe they hack into the FBI or the military or some kind of sensitive corporate database.

And, you know, now that I've just kind of said it out loud, But hell yeah, it's criminal. And hell yeah, they're going to hell. But it's a weird thing, man. It's a weird phenomenon, the hacking industry. It feels like there's two levels of hackers that I can figure out. It's like you've got the one that truly is bent on criminal intent. That's the hackers that, you know, want to tap into your hack into your bank files

and into your personal information, get your credit card numbers and your bank accounts and your social security number and maybe your health records and do who knows what with it. Manipulate them, transfer funds. That's flat-out criminal activity, okay? I guess I get that. You're going to hell. They are.

I just, I'm God now. I'm I-God. If Apple creates a god, I'll be it. I'm I god. You hack into websites. You hack into the internet to steal money from other people. You're going to hell. You're going to hell.

Yeah, I said it twice. But here's the other level of hacker. And maybe these are the ones that I'm not sure where they should go. Maybe they should just go get a job and focus on something else. The other type of hackers are the ones. and just get in there to cause crap. They get in there to cause damage and interrupt the flow and sabotage and expose and shut down and reconfigure and confuse and cause chaos.

You know, like the WikiLeaks guys who go in and expose, you know, sensitive military secrets and, corporate secrets and, you know, things that they believe the world is entitled to see. Well, who knows if they're right? Who knows if they have the right to decide what the world needs to see? You know, and if they really believe the world needs to see it, then why don't they try some legal maneuvering and try and get the stuff exposed under the freedom of importance?

information act or something else, but to just say, oh, well, this is, we think that the world needs to know that there was a guy had a bag on his head in Guantanamo Bay. Gee, really? You think maybe some things were done wrong and inappropriately during a war where there's chaos and weaponry and killing and fighting and hatred and miscommunication between cultures and all the little things, all the little details in between that you will never know about even if you hack into something. Do you really think you know what goes down in the theater of war?

Do you really think you comprehend how black and blue it is, how white and black it is? You really don't think there's a million gray areas where lives are at stake, where weapons are at stake, where communities are at stake. I mean, come on. It's very hard in war just to go, Bing, bang, boom, this is this and this is that.

There's so many variables. And I'm not defending war. I'm not defending the bad things or the good things that happen in war. But, you know, for some guy in his basement in Switzerland with a group of granola-eaten hippies to decide, hey, we're going to expose all these wrongdoings. We want the world to see what's happening.

We've tapped into the U.S. military. We got secrets. We got secrets from a rogue soldier in the U.S. Marines. He's going to tell us all these nasty, horrible things that was happening. Gee, great. What, a couple of generals get fired. A couple of soldiers get court-martialed. Yeah, way to change the world there, Swissy.

But beyond the, you know, the politics of that stuff, what is the motivation of a hacker? I mean, there's ones that have a political agenda and stuff like that. But what about the ones that just get in there and send viruses and want to freeze up the Internet, want to shut down everybody's daily lives and, you know, go take your clothes off and want to walk across a busy highway and stop traffic if that's your rush it's like you know man i really need to disrupt society i mean everything everybody's going to the cheesecake factory man and the you know indy 500 and you know i just thought a whole bunch of people going down to the beach man and everything's so orderly and uh you know i've got i've got to disrupt the flow i mean you know what i'm taking

my clothes off and i'm walking out into traffic and i'm stopping everything but you have to inconvenience the rest of the world what's your is that a high for you at the end of it are you like uh hey guess what i did man i shut down china for a couple hours huh uh guys you want to go get a coffee uh hey guys hey guys come on let's go down to uh apple bees beers are on me beers are on you what the hell's that all about oh just the little thing i call i shut down Italy for a day and a half, huh? Huh? Guys? I don't get the point, man.

Can't you get your bragging rights doing something else? Something a little more productive? Maybe something that's a contribution to society. I mean, life is hard enough. Do we really need a pimply-faced idiot from Denmark? Screwing up our emails and, you know, mess. with our bank accounts. Yay, bravo.

Bravo, haunts. Bravo, some computer nerd in his basement in Ohio. Bravo. Way to go. You want a trophy? Can we send you a trophy to put up on your shelf next to your comic books? Huh? Right there beside your, uh, your, uh,

Dungeons. and dragons bronze characters. God, get a life, man. What's that, Roger? What? I can't hear you. Hey, everybody.

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Stop. Do you know how fast you were going? I'm going to have to write you a ticket to my new movie, The Naked Gun. Liam Nissan. Buy your tickets now. I get a free Chili Dog. Chilly Dog, not included. The Naked Gun.

Tickets on sale now. August 1st. What's going on? What do you mean? We're being interrupted? But I can't hear you. Why is there smoke filling up in this? place what's happening my control panels are going nuts roger roger what's happening somebody's doing this

stop let's pull off the road right now let's pull off the road right now let's pull off exit ramp 18 I'm in the mood for some Baskin Robbins. My friend Darius works there, and let's see if they got any new flavors. Hey, Darius, what's up, man? Hello, Harlan, so wonderful to have you here. Oh, man, we, I mean, I'm just, anything new? Yeah, we've got some wonderful flavors. I'm really excited about them.

Oh, man, me too. What do you got? Well, I've got a new flavor called Raisin Fing. Raisin face. Yeah, you eat most of it, but then at the end you put some of it on your face because there are little raisins and then it looks like you have molds on your face. What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, it looks like you have little molds on your face like Marilyn Monroe or Cindy Crawford or someone like that is wonderful. Oh my god, that's kind of weird.

We also have new flavor clam chowder. Ew! Clam chowder ice cream? Yes, with real chunks of clams and salmon. Oh my God, that sounds horrible. Why don't you try a free scoop? Here, have a little pink spoon full of clam chowder ice cream. Uh, you know what, I'm going to pass. Okay, how about some raisin face?

You can put the molds on your face and have a raisin face. You know what, maybe I will try the clam chowder one. Yeah, try the clam chowder. It's very good. Hmm, hey, you know what? This does taste just like clam chowder. Yeah, it's wonderful. It makes you sink you at the sea. If you put your ice cream cone up to your ear, you can hit the ocean. Oh, yeah?

I tricked you Holland, Williams. You have clown chowder ice cream all in your ear. You idiot. Why are you getting mad at me? I just played a blooper. Yeah, you played a blooper and I might get an infected ear drum, dumbass. Why don't you try another flavor? Grape, Grape, Grape, Grapey, Grape. Why don't you try a flavor? Shut your face.

I'm out of here, you freak. Can't believe it. The guy gets me to put clam chowder ice cream, right? My ear, freezing. I got to pull in at the next exit. See the eye, ear, nose, and throat specialist. It's always an odd one for me, isn't it? The eye, ear, nose, and throat specialist?

I mean, you've got to admire a person that dedicates their career to a body part. You know? It's like, hey, Jim, what do you do for a living? Noose. Pardon me? Noes. What do you mean? I do nose.

You do knows? I do I. Who are you? I'm Paul. I do I. Hi, I'm Carol. Well, I do throat. Uh, I, ear, nose, and throat.

I don't remember anybody saying ear, but since they didn't, I'll take it. Yes, I do ear. I mean, it's just, uh, quite a fascinating thing that someone would, uh, you know, go to medical school and, and dedicate their career into looking up someone's nose. Well, I'm about to retire. I must have looked up 400,000 noses in my career. I'm probably in the Nose Hall of Fame. Right?

Or spending your life looking in people's ears? I don't even want to get into proctology. But you got to admire that. You got to wonder, did that person have a fascination with noses, with ears, with throats, with eyes? I don't know. I guess because I'm in such a bizarrely different world. Most of you listening are probably doing something completely, extremely different than eye, ear, nose, and throat. But we've all got dreams, right?

And I wonder if an eye, ear, nose, and throat kid, you know, when they were young, if they'd lay in bed at night with their teddy bear under their arms, staring at the roof, and in their mind just visions of, oh, I hope I look up a bunch of noses someday. Oh, I can't wait to start looking into ears when I'm all grown up. I can't wait to look down a bunch of people's throats when I get older.

And I'm not mocking it, believe me, these people are intelligent. I've had these people help me. They've helped you. I mean, they're incredibly bright, smart people, and my hat's off to them. And I'm not making fun of them. I guess I'm just kind of having fun with them.

If an eye, ear, nose, and throat special, could kind of look and laugh at themselves, like we all must in life. You've got to admit it's kind of an odd thing. It's a necessity. It's something we need. God knows. if anything goes wrong with your ear, eyes, nose, or throat.

It's scary. It's uncomfortable. It can alter your life, man. It's nice to know you can go to someone so specific and have them attack the problem. But it's just kind of a, to me, it's a weird ambition. I guess like an eye, ear, nose, and throat person goes, are you serious?

You do stand-up comedy? Let me get this straight. You used to lay in bed at night, hugging your teddy bear, thinking about doing jokes on stage? I mean, I couldn't do that. If I was on stage, I'd just be staring at everybody's ears. I love ears, you know. But it's interesting, the ambitions everybody has in life.

And everything serves its perfect purpose, believe me. It's the way the world. works. I just find it fascinating that that's somebody's passion and that they can do that for 20, 30 years. And kudos, man. Good on you. The help you've brought to people, the relief you've brought to people. And I guess it can be said about anything, right? I mean, you can say that about

someone who's a lumberjack. I just love cutting down trees, man. Or an accountant or a guy who poor cement. Oh, man, nothing I like more than smoothing out cement. Oh, yeah. I guess everybody takes pride in their work, right? And I guess it's just all in the eye, ear, nose, and throat of the beholder. Is that fair to say? But bless you for being there when we need you. I'll never

understand it, but that's the beauty of it. Maybe I'll never understand it because I need to see a brain specialist. How about that? I ear, nose, and throat, and brain. If I could just get some work done on my brain, I'd be happy. And if you want to go in through my nose, in through my ear, up my throat, or even through my eye, I guess I would allow that just to make my brain all better. Because you've heard the podcast, me brain need worky. No, it doesn't. My brain's just fine, and so is yours. So enough of this, I'm going to go send a phlegm sample to my throat doctor.

And let's keep motoring down the Harlan Highway. You're driving along. It's too cold to have the windows open. You've got to kind of, you know, let one go. You know how it happened. You're driving, and you got to do a little farty fart in the car. And I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with it. Here's a little trick.

You're driving through the country, and you hit one of those zones on the country road where there's a field of cows, or there's an old barn and there's that waft that horrible waft of cow manure fills the air

rushes in your open windows comes in through your air conditioner vents reeks of that barnyard smell the old cow manure well don't despair think of it as an opportunity gentlemen think of it as an opportunity

to crank one out. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Crank it out. She'll never know. Get rid of them. Get rid of all of them. If you're on a long road trip, you don't want to be holding on to a little gas bubble all night long. You got to get rid of that sucker. So when you're driving past the cow fields, those of you that haven't thought of it yet, just a little driving tip to help you make it through your date. That's from me to you here. On the Harlan Highway.

Oh, pardon me. Was that cow over there. And speaking of stinkers, I got to do this. I got it. I got to do this. I'm going to give a little movie review, man. I know. I finally went to see that Lorax movie.

Okay, the Dr. Seuss thing. And the thing that probably drew me in was the name Dr. Seuss, right? Because Dr. Seuss is a name that's synonymous with imagination and magic. And he was one of those authors and illustrators that just had the right touch. He had that magic touch where his stuff was a little bit bizarre and a little bit twisted and a little bit poetic and had the right vision. and had the right visual touch and it was just kind of a little psychedelic and it was just, it just reeked of originality.

And it made you think on a certain level and the characters were likable and the stories were simple and likable. And just something about Dr. Zeus that we all embrace, we all find palatable, we all like. And, you know, in a world, where so many things can see the seem the same. Here's an artist and a writer that stood out

and just came up with crazy words and crazy rhymes and ridiculous illustrations that just kind of weren't that normal, and we all loved it. So along comes Hollywood, and they're like, let's make a movie about the Lorax. So I saw the trailers, and I was like, I don't know about this, man. It didn't look like a good trailer, but, you know, I'm in the animation world,

and I, you know, I write animated films, and I work in that world. And I was like, I'm going to go see it. I'm going to go see it. One, because I love Dr. Zeus, and two, because I kind of got to research it in a way. And, man, was I disappointed? And here's what happened. Okay, first of all, the sad thing is the movie came out. Opening weekend, it does $70 million.

Okay, domestically. So right away, the Hollywood crowds going, Okay, winner, Bing, Bing, Bing, we got the right recipe. This is a great movie. It made $70 million. Incredible movie. Great job. We did it.

We did it right. And that's where the tragedy begins, because I got to tell you, folks, I'm giving this movie a big lemon, a big thumbs down. And the only thing I'd probably give a thumbs up is there's a bit of a message in the movie. In fact, maybe the message is a big message. And I like the message. The message is about conservation and saving the trees and saving nature, preserving nature, respecting nature. Great message, okay?

But if you're going to do that and you're going to take Dr. Seuss and you're going to do a movie in general, And if you're going to do a CGI movie, which is, you know, animation and generally aimed at kids, why don't you take the right ingredients from the cookbook? A couple of sprinkles of magic, a couple of sprinkles of imagination, a couple of sprinkles of fantastical, a couple of sprinkles of fantasy, a couple of sprinkles of enchantment, like all the things that,

make movies, and in particular movies for children, incredible. You want a movie of that magnitude to transport you, to take you away to a magical place, to keep you in awe, to keep you believing there are other magical worlds and whatnot. I mean, just go back and look at Pinocchio. You know, the magical story about a lonely carpenter who built toys, And he always wanted a real son, but circumstances never allowed it. And he made a wish and a fairy came down.

And one of the carpenter's puppets comes to life, a little wooden boy named Pinocchio. And he has his incredible magical journey where he goes out into the big cruel world on his own and he survives it. And he comes back a boy, a real living flesh and blood boy. and he's faced with a world full of decisions between bad and evil and wrong and right, and he has his conscience with him, and just, you know, it was just a magical adventure, and he ends up in the belly of a giant whale, and he ends up on an island of bad children where he turns into a donkey, and just all the ingredients I mentioned earlier all there.

Disney had it right. you know and it took place in a world where the movie within itself had its own language it was its own place it was its own environment so people walked talked breathed ate slept in a certain way in a certain way that we were being pulled into their world and we had to believe in their world and in doing so we're transported to another place another time I'm a magical, imaginative, wonderful place. And to me, that's the essence of a fantasy movie. It's not the essence of a real-life movie like the Iron Lady or Kramer versus Kramer or the descendants. Those are dramas dealing with real human issues. Okay, you can't sprinkle magic fairy dust over those. But getting back to the world of animation, which is, which is,

which was created to take us to other worlds, to pull us into the fantasy world. Okay? So here we come to the Lorax, where they've got this incredible intellectual property in the name Dr. Seuss. And they decided to create this fantastical world with crazy colors and crazy designs.

And within that world, they pull in the, the kind of the vernacular of today. They pull in the way young kids talk today and the way young kids act and kind of real stereotypical live-action comedy movie dialogue and inflection. And it just was horrible, man.

It was just horrible. It just sat there. And it was actually, annoying. It was that the lead character guy was annoying. And the way they talked and the way they behaved, it's like people don't talk and behave this way in Dr. Seuss's world. It's not even close.

What you've done is you've taken the way people talk down at the mall and in the high school hallways and injected it into the magical, fantastical world of Dr. Seuss. It doesn't fit, man. That's like, you know, putting jello on a steak. Would you like some jello on your steak, sir? Oh, what flavor? We have tapioca, lemon mint, and strawberry. Yes, smear it all over my steak, will you?

It's just a wrong fit, right? And so then we get into the story, and the stories with all these unlikable characters. Okay, it's about this young boy who's a young boy who's entrepreneur, and his parents and his family pretty much abuse him psychologically. They torment them, and they tell him to kind of F off out into the world. And this guy goes out into the world, and he seems like a sweet guy who's into music and everything, but the second he gets a chance to exploit the world, he does.

And he starts ripping down all the forests and the trees for his own personal gain to make money and gain wealth and suddenly his family's back in the picture and he starts singing these songs about lawyers and greed and corporate money and all this horrible stuff that as an adult I don't want to see it but I'm thinking what am I thinking here if I'm a kid?

If I'm an 8-year-old kid or a 5-year-old or even an 11-year-old, do I really want to be sitting through an animated movie that's dealing with corporate greed and the villain in the movie is a CEO who's all about racking up dollars and manipulating the townsfolk manipulating the system

and then along comes the Lorax who's the voice of reason and he's like, I don't think you want to do this, I don't think you want to chop down all the trees. Okay, well, go out. ahead, you'll have to live with the consequences. And that's basically the whole purpose of the Lorax in the movie. And by the way, the Lorax is barely in the movie.

The Lorax is in about 10 minutes of the whole movie, man. Meanwhile, the rest of the movies about these annoying kids who are riding around on motorcycles and these ridiculous chase scenes and, oh, dude, I could go on for hours. I've already gone on too long. What I'm saying is just such a disappointment, man. And you might disagree. You might be like, what a, Harlan, you're an idiot.

What a great movie. What a wonderful movie. We loved everything about it. Well, hey, that's what art's about. You can agree or disagree. I'm not trying to tell you what to think. I'm just trying to express to you what a letdown it was for me. I don't think Dr. Seuss would have liked that.

movie. I can't speak for them, but I don't know that Dr. Seuss and is, you know, taking children to an imaginary world where they forget about the real world would want to see his vision portrayed in a world where

suddenly his sweet and innocent little book is all about corporate greed and money and lawyers and CEOs and bully tactics and dysfunctional families and cruelty and lying and greed and, ugh.

I mean, what point is that what children should be going to see? I mean, they're going to run into that when they get older anyways, you know, when they run into the, you know, the corporate greed of corporations and the excessive consumerism of the human race. But can't you just give them a movie like Pinocchio or Snow White or Toy Story? something with imagination, man. So there you go. Long-winded kind of diatribe on the Lorax,

but big disappointment. And it was annoying. God, the movie opens for some reason, and a lot of these animated movies do this. Now they throw in musical numbers. The movie opens with this big musical number where the whole town's dancing around and singing and the voices don't sound like they're coming from the right characters.

It's just incredibly annoying. And then they drop some songs in throughout the movie. Annoying. And then in the end, they do this a lot too. The movie ends, ungratifying, I have to say, and to kind of trick you into feeling that you weren't let down, that it wasn't a good ending, that it wasn't a gratifying ending. Once again, they pull out the musical,

and they have the whole town dancing around and singing, and there's fish singing and dancing and rolling right into the credits. And it's a ruse, man. It's a big con job. Many of these movies do this because they want you going, out of the movie feeling upbeat and good. Well, let me close with this. How about this, movie studios?

How about you write a good, magical, creative movie with an excellent story, an excellent twists and turns, an excellent adventure, and all the ingredients I talked about? And then you don't have to have the big con job at the end. People can walk out and go, what a great movie. I'm sure you folks saw Toy Story. I'm sure you saw the first Shrek movie. I'm sure you saw the movie Up by Pixar.

I mean, these are great magical movies that stood on their own. They created their own worlds and didn't have to kowow to sticking in all the modern cliches. Like, oh, little help here, and ooh, that's got to hurt. and all that kind of typical crap. And I guess the real sad thing is that the movie did well, and that's going to inspire them to think that they've found a great recipe and they're going to produce more crap like it. I think it should be mandatory that all studios and their creative teams

have to sit down and watch Pinocchio and Toy Story and up and movies that use the right ingredients, the movies like The Incredibles, The Lion King, you know, take us into your magical world. Let us disappear for a while. And don't forget, at the end of the day, more than anything,

I think these movies should be aimed at kids. And let a kid love it. Let a kid be transported. Let a kid go. go there man we all remember as kids a magical movie that we saw would you really want to go see a movie that deals with corporate greed and deforestation and forget about it so there you go big disappointment i had to get it off my chest maybe you want to go see it now and judge for yourself and maybe you think i'm completely wrong let me know maybe maybe you're

I missed something. And again, like I said, I appreciate the message about the environment. That's very important. But wrap that in a magical adventure. Don't just let it sit there and present it the way you presented it. Let me know if you disagree or agree. 323-739-4-3-0. A bit of a long talk about that one.

Maybe you've found it engaging. you've already shut me off. I don't know, but I'd love to hear your feedback on it, or you can write me at harlandwilliams.com. And you know what? That long-winded Lorax thing brings us to the end of the podcast. And, you know, what can I say? Sometimes they end with a big giggle.

Sometimes they just end with me letting it all out. So there you go. Hey, like I said, 323-739-4-3-3-0 is the number. And harloweems.com is where you can write me. You can also check out the store we have. And don't forget Stitcher Radio. You can download that as an app and get the Harland Highway on your phone. And if you want to see me live in concert doing some comedy

where I don't cut down any trees, I will be April 27th, 28th, and 29th in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at the improv. So come on out and shake it out. And that's it, folks. Until next time, chicken chow main, baby. Prove yourself brave, truthful and unselfish. And someday you will be a real boy. Awake, Pinocchio.

Awake. Father, what you're crying for? Because you're dead, Pinocchio. No, no I'm not. Yes, you are. Now lie down. But father, I'm alive, see? And I'm...

I'm... I'm real. I'm a real boy! You're alive. You're a life. You are a real boy. Hey! Whoopi!

Real life boy! Ha ha ha! This cards for a celebration! When your heart is in your dream, no request is to act true. your dream and who and I never drink of home Thank you.