The Harland Highway - 408: Harland's SHARK encounter, Senior Fuentes, American freedom

Episode Date: June 25, 2012

Animal attacks, robot joke teller, Harland encounters sharks, a visit from Senior Fuentes, the fragility of American Freedom. Flap my steak flake!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Be our guest. Be our guest. Put your manners to the test, baby. Yeah, put your manners to the test. I guess that's my job. I'm the host. What am I putting that on you for? This is my podcast. You listen to it, so I guess it makes it yours, too, but I'm the host. So welcome Harlem Williams being as polite as I can here on the Harland Highway podcast. Welcome, one and all. What a show today. I had an encounter with some sharks. How about that? Okay? Some hammerhead sharks. Yeah. We're going to be talking about that.

Also, some animal attacks just in general when animals attack. We're going to have a joke-telling robot from Japan in here. Jolly Joker Jr. is coming in. And then from Mexico, my gardener, Senor Fuentes, drops by, which I never enjoy. I don't ask them to. And then we're going to get a little serious, and we're going to talk about your freedom, your beloved American freedom. Is it in jeopardy? Is time running out on American freedom?

We're going to talk about that. And a whole bunch more, right here on the free, Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway All right, let's get this sucker going, huh? You're causing a major disturbance on my time. It's the Harland Highway. What's up, Brock? If I'm here and you're here,

doesn't that make it our time? I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you are doing? You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. This is your fucking wake-up. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harland Williams.

In 30 seconds, you'll be dead. I'll blow this place up and be home in time for cornflakes. Hey, it's Harlan Williams here on the Harlan Highway. I'm nice and safe, safe away from animals. I mean, are you hearing about this? The guy at SeaWorld got dragged underwater by the killer whale. Was I not talking about that a week or two ago? Now, some guy this weekend, some so-called snake expert,

I actually called himself the snake king. Okay? Yeah, somehow he's human, but he's king of all the snakes. Now this guy got it. He got bit by a snake, and he ate it. I love nature. I respect people that work with animals, but when are we going to get over these people that somehow think they know how to commune with animals

and they can read the animal's vibes and they know when an animal's about to strike and they're the experts and that rach-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h Suddenly half their bodies in the belly of a lion. If you're going to work with these animals, work in a shark cage, coat yourself in life. at least have one of those salad bar guards between you and the venomous creature. You got more protection at a salad bar. You got that plexiglass thing hanging over the lettuce leaves and the olives and the Thousand Island Ranch dressing. Yet you'll go walk right in with a cobra with nothing. If you want to know why nobody's ever getting killed by salad bars,

it's because there's that protective thing, that barrier between you. and all the ingredients. So take a clue, you so-called animal experts. If you can hear me up there in heaven, wise up, man. Animals just do what they want, and they're going to get you whenever they want. So don't think you're too good at it, because that's when they strike.

Ah, I think I'll go get a salad. Maybe I'll put some snake eggs and stingray ranch dressing. on that and speaking of fish uh guess what i saw okay i've been around on the planet for a while i'm not going to tell you my age i'm 18 um and you know there's fish you see at the aquarium and there's fish you see out in the wild and uh i was down in florida recently and i'm at this place and it's right on the water and uh you know a little wild before you know a little wild before you I'd been snorkeling out there, you know, by myself, I had some time on my own. I was like, I'm going to go snorkeling.

The water was pretty shallow. It was like four feet deep. And it wasn't in an area where there's a lot of waves crashing in, okay? It was in an area where the water's calm. It's in the Gulf. It's in the Gulf of Florida. and the Gulf of Mexico, but it's the Gulf where it washes in in Florida. And in a lot of the Gulf areas of Florida, the water is very shallow.

It's a very shallow area. And so the water doesn't get too deep. You can walk out like, you know, you can walk out a mile and still be like just up to your waist. So I'm like, I'm going to go snorkeling. And this is all shallow in here. There's nothing around. You know, maybe I'll see some seashells or a crab, maybe a fish. So I went in one day, then I went in another day, and, you know, I'm just snorkeling around on my own, you know, not thinking about anything.

And then, you know, a little while later, I wake up one morning, and I go out by the dock, and I look down in the water where I had been snorkeling. Okay. And what do I see? Oh, just two hammerhead sharks swimming around right where I was snorkeling. What? And then I hear from one of the neighbors in this area that there was like a nine or 12-foot hammerhead shark, and then they said they saw a bull shark. And I'm like, what the name of God's delicious gravy is that all about?

So needless to say, I was like a little bit like, well, aren't I braves swimming around in shark-infested waters all alone? Little did I know. But what I thought was really cool was these hammerhead sharks. Because, you know, you can, you know, I've seen other sharks out in the wild. I went snorkeling in Australia on the Great Barrier Reef and, you know, bumped into a shark there. I think it was a white-tipped reef shark

and that was crazy but there is something about the hammerhead shark man that is a little more ominous okay they've got this weird head that God love us is shaped like a hammer it's like somebody you know it's like a shark a regular shark was like you know for some idiotic reason was cross

crossing the road, okay? And a truck backed over just the top of its head and flattened out its eyes and its forehead, and the front of its face got spread out, and its eyes got pushed to the end of its face, and it's got like this flat head and flat face, and his eyes got pushed off to the side. Kind of looks a little creepy and demented.

and so it's a very peculiar-looking shark, a very unique-looking shark, and something cool about it. But nonetheless, I was a little, you know, I had a little bit of that aftershock. You know, it's like a few days have gone by since I'd been swimming in there. I was like, la-de-da, I didn't think of anything of it.

And then all of a sudden I see these sharks cruising around. I'm like, wait a minute. I was just looking for, like, a conch shell to put on my shelf. I was looking to maybe nab a lobster for lunch. I didn't always put my life in jeopardy. You know, did anyone tell me that my little seafood buffet swim lesson could have resulted in me being the bait? So, you know, I guess you always got to remember.

man the ocean is alive and living and there is stuff in there and uh you just don't know where things are going to show up but uh very uh unique animal out of all all the critters in the uh fish world i have to say the hammerhead shark has always struck me as a real odd ball and then there's another one and you can look this one up on yahoo or uh google images or uh even better yet maybe there's a video of it on youtube i'm sure there is but look up the sunfish and i'm not talking about the little sunfish in fresh water that you catch up in minnesota or michigan in the lake with a little worm on your hook now there's another fish in the ocean it's called the it's the ocean sunfish

and this thing is the most bizarre looking fish you've ever seen first of all it's gigantic the size of an apartment building. And then it's got a giant eye, and it's got a top fin sticking out of the top, and a bottom fin sticking out of the bottom, and then it's all tail. All right? It's a giant big, you know, flat-looking fish, and it's got, you know, it's got a tail that's as thick as a whale. And that's not a new Dr. Seuss book. He's got a tail who's just thick as a whale.

I say, someone get the pale and we'll have some ale. No, it's not Dr. Seuss. This thing, I can't even describe it. It's such a goofy-looking, bizarre giant fish. I mean, honestly, these fish are huge. They dwarf a man. A full-grown sunfish in the ocean dwarfs a man. But check it out.

you know, the two odd balls of the sea, those two fish right there. So there you go. That's my sunfish story. I mean, my hammerhead shark story. And just if you're out swimming this summer, if you're in the ocean, for God's sakes, be careful. You know, last thing you want to do is, you know, you get eaten by a hammerhead shark. You know all the guys at Home Depot will be laughing at you. Fish heads, fish, heads, roly, poly fish, heads.

Went out for dinner on the weekend, for seafood. Where are my seafood players at? Flap your flippers, baby. Honk your blowhole if you're into seafood, man. The waiter comes to your table. Hi, may I take your old? order? Yeah, I'd like a nice fish. Oh, we've got all kinds. We've got cad. We've got halibut. We've got catfish. We've got grouper. What would you like? And you're like, I don't know. You got anything

that doesn't taste fishy? Something that doesn't taste fishy. Yeah, like, I don't know. I want salmon, but does it taste like fish? Well, it is fish, sir. Yeah, but I want something that doesn't taste fishy, you know? Like I can eat it and it just, it tastes light. What do you mean, like a light bulb? No, like just light, but not fishy. It's a fish, you idiot. It's going to taste fishy. I'd like to order

a steak, but yeah, I don't want it to taste too much like beef. You got anything around that doesn't quite taste like steak? Well, how about some chicken? Yeah, I'll try the chicken, but can you make sure it doesn't taste like chicken? Well, how about some

Fish. Yeah, yeah, there we go. Bring me some fish. I mean, isn't it just a stupid certain? That's why things have names and flavors, people. Hello! It's called fish. It tastes like fish. Even the other ones, like beef is a different name. They don't just call a cow. Hey, would you like some cow, man? Chicken? I guess, yeah, chicken's called chicken. Pork. They don't call that pig. It's fish. It's going to taste like fish. If you don't want fish, don't order the fish. If you don't want it to taste like fish, put a red hot poker on your tongue and send your taste buds flat before you order. And then you keep you in anything. Happy fishing here on the Harland Highway.

Okay, enough all this talk about animal attacks. Let's talk about something pleasant. Let's talk about, I don't know Let's talk about fluffy white clouds Let's talk about ice cream Let's talk about angels We've got to get off the topic of animals Ripping people

What? No Roger What's he doing here? Come on, guy I would, ah, come on Roger Why'd you let him in?

I was just about to do a thing about the fluffy thing. Hello, senor. The fluffy clouds. The clouds, signor. What are you doing here, Fuentes? My name is Senor Fuentes. I know your name. Wow, you seem up tight, senor.

Well, I was just about to do a bit about clouds, and then you come walking in here. You're my gardener. Why do you come here? Well, I'm your gardener, Signor, you just said it. I must come here. Oh, for God's saying, what's going on this time?

I'm afraid you have bad gas, signor. What? Your gas is horrible. It smells and it's leaking all over the place. I do not have bad gas. It is not horrible and it's not leaking all over the place. Well, that's not what your neighbors say, Signor. That's not what my workers are saying.

They have to put their hands over their mouths. Your gas is horrible. Would you stop talking about my horrible gas? But what do you want me to talk about, Signor, the white fluffy clouds like you? Stop. Mocking me. What is mocking, signor?

Just, what are you talking about? Well, I was working in the yard, signor? Yes. And I guess we were digging in the garden? Yes. And I guess we broke into your gas, signor. What do you mean you broke into my gas? The shovel hit your gas line,

and your gas started fuming out of the ground. Just horrible rents and reek that just made most of us throw up. We couldn't believe how wretched your gas is. It's not my gas! Well, the gas line was on your property, wasn't it, signor? Yes. And it was buried under the ground, right? Yes!

And when we broke your gas line, that's your gas that came out. Yes, it was. It's natural gas. I'll say it is, signor. Holy God. Smells like somebody knocked over a shithouse. Stop! You don't...

Do you not know you're on the air? You can't say that. What, Signor, that you knocked over a shit house? Stop... What are you doing? You can't come in here and use the S word. Shit? Stop saying that.

I can't help it if your gas smells like a dirty rotten shit house, signor. Stop saying shoo. shit house, it's not my gas. Well, it's not my gas, signor. What if, what are you doing? I need to plug up your gas hole. My what? Your gas hole, signor. We put a hole right through your gas pipe. Okay, don't say it like that. What, your dirty, holy gas pipe? Stop saying it like that. Really, senor, we need to put a cork in your gas hole. It smells like a dirty, rotten German Octoberfest shit house.

Stop saying shithouse. You just said it, senor. What? Shit house. Oh, get out of here. I've had enough of this. All right, signor, but do I have permission to clog up your gas hole? What are you going to use to clog up my gas hole?

Oh, I don't know, senor. Maybe we could stuff a log up there. Get out of here! Or maybe jam a rock in your gas hole. Get out! Were you eating broccoli, signor? Stop it? Or cauliflower or worse yet, duck patte?

Get out of here! You can at least say, excuse me, signor. Get out! God! Come on, Roger. Don't let him in anymore. Just crazy. You know, I guess it's a cultural thing.

Maybe, maybe, because he's a... an immigrant he just used to walking in on things. Maybe there's a different protocol where he's from down in Mexico. Maybe there's different customs. I don't know. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, I will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast.

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Don't throw your back out And how much do we know How much do you know About other people's customs Other people's lives Other people's backgrounds Heritagees Here's an interesting story

I was in a cab Coming home from the Los Angeles airport LAX as they call it man LAX And you know It was late I was tired And you know

I had a long flight And a lot of these times I get in the cabs And I just want to be left alone I don't want to be bothered And you know I walk up to the cab And here's this guy

And you know He's a foreigner It's obvious from his accent And his look He looks like he's you know Probably You know, probably Turkish or from the Mediterranean or European or something. You know, you can tell there's a certain way of dressing, a certain accent, a certain look.

And there was no doubt in my mind. This guy was from the other across the pond, as they say. And I was just like, whatever, I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to know anything about them. I don't care. and as I was riding along in the back of his cab, it occurred to me, I thought, what a jackass I am. What a stupid attitude to have.

What a closed-off, short-sighted, ignorant attitude, you know? And I thought, you know what, what am I doing? Here's another human being here who's got just as much life experience and stories and things that have happened to him as I have. You know, he's no better, he's no worse than me, and vice versa. I'm no better, I'm no worse than him. We're just two human beings.

I thought, what the hell? I'm just going to, you know, talk to the guy and find out about him. And so I opened up. I was like, so, hey, man, I noticed your accent. I said, where are you from? And he goes, oh, I'm from Russia. And, you know, I can do it. the Russian accent so good. So, well, maybe I can. Maybe I can do a little bit, huh?

So I said, okay, how you doing? How long you've been here? Oh, I've been here. You know, I've been here for, you know, 16 years now. And, you know, I have kids. I have wife. I come here because my wife's parents come here and then we follow. We come. We come. We make life here and it's not easy and i was like oh here we go okay now he's going to get into the life is tough in america and all that and um you know i just i thought you know what i'm going to listen i'm going to i'm going to hear the guy's story here his hardships here's his ups here's his downs let him talk away so i talked i asked him about his kids and he goes i make money i put kids through college and uh and then i you know we just did the small talk and i kind of learned about his background

and he's been driving a cab for a long time and and uh and so i finally got around to it you know because i'm a canadian boy and sometimes i miss canada i miss being home and uh i said so do you miss russia and you know i was expected to say you kidding and communist i don't like i got away never go back to Russia. No good. Stinky pooh. And to my surprise, the guy goes, yeah, yeah, I miss Russia. And I'm like, wait a minute, here's a guy who kind of got out of a communist country at a time when it was still communist and it wasn't easy to do. And he's telling me he misses it.

Here he is in America, the land of the free. a good old US of A and this guy from communist Russia tells me he misses it and so now I'm I'm intrigued and so I say to him I go well what do you what do you miss about Russia the most and he goes the freedom

and I almost stop cold in my tracks and I'm like what he goes I miss the freedom and I go but it was a communist country country. What do you mean the freedom? He goes, at least there you can do things. You can sit out on your front lawn. You can stand on the sidewalk with your comrades. You can have a drink. You're not afraid to just be yourself and do your things. And I said, what are you talking about? And he goes, America, too many rules, too many, every rule for everything here in America.

For example, you know, a couple of months ago, I still have relative in Russia and USSR, and a wife is sleeping and kids are going to bed. So I want to talk to my friends, my family back in Russia. I go down to parking lot, and I sit in my cab, and I go to cell phone, and I want to reminisce. I want to talk about the old times. I want to have friendly, fun time with my comrades. I take a glass of beer. I take a bottle of beer, and I go and I sit in my cab, and I drink, and I talk to my friends. And I'm like, okay, I get it, that's cool.

And in the middle of talk to a friend, police offer to walk up, he bang on my window. I said, what a cop. walks up to you and bangs on your window, he goes, yes, I'm sitting there, no key in the ignition, no nothing, I'm not driving, I just sit, and I drink, and I talk on friends, and have a laughy-poo. And sure enough, a cop walks up and knocks on the window, and long story short, because I'm sure you're getting annoyed with my Russian accent, this guy ended up getting like a like a $900 ticket and he had to go to these driving school classes and because he was a cab driver and his profession was a driving thing,

he had to go to all these classes and he had to go through these assessments and the insurance and the guy said it ended up costing him like $5,000. and all this because he wanted to sit in his car where he wasn't moving, it was like sitting on a couch so he could chat to his friends and have a beer. And I realized that, you know, this guy was kind of, you know, creating a microcosm of, even though his problem was small, it made me realize that, you know, Sometimes the land of the free isn't such the land of the free. You know, I'm not knock in America.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm putting out a warning here that we got to watch it. Because everything is becoming a rule here. You know, we live in this country where we stand up at the ball games and we stand up at the hockey games. and we stand up at the football games and we sing the national anthem with some big celebrity and we put our hand over our heart

and, you know, we got this big illusion that everything's just, it's a free-for-all here in America and you can do anything. And yeah, you can. It's a great country, but there's so much micromanaging.

There's so many little details now. There's so many laws, so many amendments, so many little rules that I got to be honest. There's days when I wonder how free we really are. I mean, just take what I just said about the National Anthem. Okay, I was at a hockey game recently, and the guy said, will you please all stand and remove your hats for the National Anthem? and I thought, yeah, that's the respectful thing to do. But yet, if this is really the land of the free,

land of the free, should it be up to us if we want to stand up and take our hat off? A, it should be up as if we want to stand, you know? And B, it should be up does if we want to take our hat off. I get it's respectful. I totally get that. And I respect that sentiment. but let me tell you this, if I decided to sit and leave my hat on and sing the national anthem,

it would be no less respectful, it would be no less coming from the right place than if I stood and took my hat off. Now, that being said, I'm a guy that does stand and take his hat off because I believe that's the right thing to do. But if there's some guy that doesn't want to stand and take his hat off, well, that's America. It's free. It doesn't diminish his patriotism. It doesn't diminish his commitment to the national anthem. But the fact that you're kind of ordered to stand up and take your hat off while you're singing about this great free country,

it's a little bit of a contradiction almost. So going back to this guy, you know, here's a guy that came from. a communist country, and I was shocked when his comment, his complaint about the United States, is that he didn't like the freedom. There wasn't enough freedom. And I think I got what he was saying, and I don't know if you're with me or against me. You might be going, oh, screw you, Harlan.

Up yours, man. But I'm saying, no, don't get your hairs up about it. I'm saying be open-minded and listen to the conversation. And before you shut down on this, think to yourself, has there been a moment in your life? And I bet there is if you just stop and think about it where you've been micromanaged by the American system where you've had moments where you felt like, what the hell is this? I mean, you ever bought property and the government said, Oh, you can't put a fence there? Or you can't cut a tree limb off of that tree?

Or your porch has to be, can be no more than four feet from the distance of your house. Or your driveway cannot be paved with stones. It can only be paved with the asphalt. Or you can't play your music past 10 at night. or your dog can't park this or you can't water your lawn because it hasn't rained in so many days or you can't have a glass of wine out on your front porch

you can't smoke a cigarette on the sidewalk you can't even smoke a cigarette in the parking lot at a mall. God forbid your smoke drifts through the parking lot and kills a child. So what I'm saying is a lot of these little micromanagement rules are stacking up and stacking up and stacking up to the point where, I'll be honest,

I sympathize with that guy. There's days when I feel like I'm looking around going, excuse me, where's the freedom? Freedom, are you hiding behind that tree? Well, you can't be hiding behind that tree because that tree's four feet from the sidewalk and you're not allowed to have a tree four feet from the sidewalk. So get out of there, Freedom. That tree's coming down. And remember, this stem from a guy who came out of communist Russia

and don't sit there and be going to go, well, why doesn't he just go back home? If he doesn't like it here, he can F off. Yeah, that's the goofy short answer. But the real answer is you got to flip over what a guy like that says and go, wow, why would a guy who came from a suppressed society make a comment like that? where the thing he hated most about America is that there he didn't there wasn't enough freedom and that's kind of that's kind of sobering that remark it certainly it certainly got to me and it made me think and it also made me want to share this conversation with you guys

because it's important and it's uh it's a little bit scary and uh you know there's a lot of, a lot of rules upon rules, upon rules, that, you know, start to take a little bit of the luster, a little bit of the shine off the whole American dream. And again, I'm not knocking America. I'm saying, you know, in order for this country to be great, you got to ask questions, and you've got to be careful, you've got to protect this thing that we're, we have. You've got to be very careful with something that's so precious like freedom,

and you got to understand it, you got to know the boundaries of it, you've got to know the perimeters of it, and you've got to be careful not to step all over it and taint it and spoil it and like fresh milk make it go sour. Because you don't want people to start resenting something as valuable as freedom. You don't want people to start doubting. And that's what this guy had in his voice. There was doubt.

He was suspicious of all the freedoms that America had to offer. And I can see why. I can see his side. And it wasn't just him drinking in his cab. He listed a bunch of other things. I can't remember them all, but he went off. He went on, and he pointed to a few other examples. And I went, wow, I scratched my head.

I went, this guy's, you know, got a real interesting point of view here. So there you go. Great country. And I got to say it because people don't hear it enough. They'll hear me do a bit like this and go, Ah, Harlan doesn't like the United States. Screw him. Go back to Canada.

Up yours. Uh-uh. If you take that point of view, you're missing, you're missing what I'm saying. And you're just being a chump. What I'm saying here is about you is I'm looking out for you. I'm looking out for all of us. Not like I, you know, I'm the guy up on the hill leading the charge, but it's a delicate thing.

And when you have people from a communist country questioning this delicate thing, you got to stop and go, uh-oh, is the milk starting to spoil? and it's incumbent on all of us. It's a priority we should all have to not let the milk sour, not let the proud stars and stripes be tarnished with a bunch of people's agendas to micromanage us and create so many rules that we feel constricted and boxed in in a society that was built

on praising and built on championing freedom. So there you go, man. Something to think about. You might disagree. That's cool. It's America. You can disagree. Or you might agree or you might be somewhere in the middle.

If you want to lay some thoughts on me, 323-739-4-3-3-0. Or you can always write me at harloweems.com. And I'd like to hear if maybe you've had some instances of being micromanaged. If you've had some situations where you felt like, hey, man, this is America. Step off, man. You're cramping my space. Step off.

Screw you. I'm allowed to water my lawn. Okay, screw you. I'm moving to communist Russia, even though it's not communist anymore. I'm moving to North Korea, man. Yeah, smart move. So there you go. We're ending the show on a, uh, what?

What's that, rot? You don't want to end on something so heavy? All right. Well, what? Jolly Joker Jr.? No, not the Japanese joke robot. Roger. No, no, Roger, I don't, I don't want them.

I don't want... He's not funny. I don't want him in here. I only want funny people in here. I don't care that they spend... What was it? 96 grand on this Japanese robot, this comedy robot.

Jolly Joker Jr. Oh, boy. Okay, folks, here it is. The station bought... I guess they don't think we're giving you enough comedy for your dollar. They went out and they purchased this high-tech Japanese robot, Jolly Joker Jr. I don't even know where a senior is. And I guess he's got to do some comedy for you because apparently us humans aren't funny enough.

Do we really have to do this? What? They made a big investment with Jolly Joker Jr. And I gotta, here he is. Do your first joke. Jolly Joker, Jr. Just, let's get it over with. What movie do you get if you cross a galaxy with a toad?

Star Warts. Come on. Are you kidding me? Did he just say Star Wars? What? Do another one? I'm not doing another one. Okay, okay, I'm doing another one. I'm doing another.

Here we go. Jolly Joker Jr. What weighs 5,000 pounds and rides around in a giant pumpkin? Cinder Elephant. Okay, does he have to laugh at his own jokes? They're really not funny. I don't want any more. What did the police officer say to her belly button?

You're under a vest. Get him out. He's creepy. I don't care, fire me. I'm not, the no more, no more Jolly Joker Jr. That's it, he's cut off. Kind of shoes should mountain climbers never wear. Get them out.

Oh, get, stop laughing. Get them out of here. Someone ordered me a sledgehammer off eBay. I got something to club. I apologize. Stop, stop laughing. Creep. Picture that, get it out of here.

Get it out. Picture waking up in the middle of the night, and that guy standing over me with his robotic eyes and a knife in his hand laughing like that. Ugh. So I tried to end the show on some funny, and it was horrible. And not only that, now you're all going to have nightmares

of Jolly Joker Jr. Ew. So let's just get out of here, man. uh thanks for being here uh great to have you along as always um don't forget you can catch me this weekend coming up in cleveland where i'll be doing some real comedy thank you jolly joker junior uh in cleveland ohio uh at hilarities comedy club the pickwick and frolic that'll be uh that'll be june 28 through july first uh get your tickets it's a great facility a great theater and uh we're going to be doing some uh stand up and some sketch comedy improv it's

like a double show so uh make sure you are there or be square um and don't forget visit the harlowe williams dot com website you can go to our store you can check my comedy schedule you can uh you can order some merch uh don't forget i'm on twitter at at Harlan Williams. I also have the Harlan Williams Facebook page. That's Facebook backslash official Harlan Williams.

We have the YouTube page. Now you can subscribe to to watch funny videos. That's YouTube backslash Harlan Williams. And it just keeps going and going and going. So that's it, folks. Hope you had a great time. Thanks for listening, and we'll catch you next time. And until then, chicken, chow main, baby.

Thank you.