The Harland Highway - 413: Special guest, actress HOLLY LYNCH

Episode Date: July 12, 2012

Harland talks love, life, and nuttiness with beautiful actress Holly Lynch. Cranberry swing sets!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are we ready to do it? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, hey, hey, everybody. Sorry, I was just talking to Roger. We were just shooting the breeze, you know, smoking shoe polish and stuff. Great show today, gang. Very beautiful, wonderful, charming actress here today. A friend of mine, you've seen her in commercials,

you've seen her in TV, you've seen her in movies. We're going to talk about all of that and so much more. We'll talk about men, talk about fantasies, female fantasies. We'll talk about, you know, who knows, who knows where it's going to go with this beautiful lady. Her name, Holly Lynch, and she's right here, ladies and gentlemen, on the Harland. Highway Welcome to the Harland Highway

All right, let's get this sucker going, huh? You're causing a major disturbance on my time. It's the Harland Highway. What's up, Bra? If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it our time? I have come here to chew bubble gum

and kick ass. Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing? You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway This is your fucking wake-up call, man You're riding down the Harland Highway With Harland Williams

In 30 seconds, you'll be dead Then I'll blow this place up And be home in time for cornflakes Hey, everybody, this is Harlan Williams here on the Harland Highway And if my voice sounds a little raspy today, It's because, you know, I was out in the desert yelling and, you know, screaming

and jumping around in the sunshine and maybe there's a better reason that my voice is like this today because whenever my voice is stripped out I think it sounds kind of really like kind of sexy you know like raspy sexy and well it could have happened on a better day because here on the podcast

I have a very very very very very special guest my good friend beautiful actress talented actress we've known each other for like 12 13 years we met here in Hollywood and she's my special guest all day today we're going to talk about her work we're going to talk about stuff it's holly lynch right here in the studios at the harland highway hello holly wow what an intro thank you harland isn't that good it was amazing How do you like my voice? I think it's super sexy.

Oh, see. And today it's special sexy. Yes. Yes. I was right. You were right. Oh, see, that makes me happy. I couldn't have picked a better day to jump around in the desert because it led to this.

We've jumped around in the desert before. Surrounded by flowers. We have. Holly, if you want to see Holly in some of the work that I've directed her in, we're going to talk later about her. And we're going to talk later about her great new movie. But for now, I'll tease you. She was in a movie that I directed called Fudgy Wudgey Fudge Face. And she did an amazing job.

She plays my love interest in the movie, Mary Ellen. And she's also in a rock video I directed. That's correct. I did a little goofy song with my cousin, Kevin Hearn, from the Bare Naked Ladies, called Behind the Glass. Holly's the lead actress in the rock video and you can see that on YouTube but enough about you enough about me let's talk about us let's you look great you are like holly's got like let me describe you get the cute little flowered shorts on cute little summer top like a little black hat you look very like summary very summary you almost look suzanne's summary oh from three's

No. No, you don't. You know Suzanne Summers. I'm not blonde. You could be Suzanne Summers and I can be Don Nott. I think you kind of look like him. So I think that would work. Great. I went from sexy to Barney Fife less than a minute and a half. God bless America. Well, hey, welcome to the podcast. This is Holly's first time here. We're going to talk about all kinds of goofy stuff. and then at the end of the show, as always, whenever I have a guest, Holly will be taking her first stab at the Harland Highway Animal Quiz. Woo-hoo. Yeah, this will be fun.

Are you good with animals? Yes, I love animals. So do you know like a wide variety of animals with the Animal Kingdom? You're pretty strange, so you might throw something I've never heard out there. So can get simple, okay? There'll be no mythological creatures or anything like that. okay they have to actually exist they'll be real okay perfect they won't be like dr seuss characters all right well let's get going we got a whole bunch of topics to get to first one always important

holly lynch have you ever been hit in the face with anything a branch a bug an apple have you ever been hit in that beautiful face by anything unusual you know what unusual hmm you know what you know those beetles that are like that shining green color yeah looks scary but they're really damn cool yeah i got hit in the face with one of those and i practically peed myself what what did it did it fly right into your pee button it got no how do you get it by a beetle and you start urinating immediately it's like damn right in the piss button what happened almost try to go in my mouth whoa yeah i almost chewed it.

Imagine if you would shoot it what your body would have done. Oh, I would have puked as well as pete at the same time, I think. Wow. Welcome to German porn world. Now, wait a minute. You asked. Where were you when this, how big was this beetle? They're pretty big, right?

They're massive. Like, they're the size of like a walnut or something, right? Yes, exactly. And they sound like a helicopter. Yeah, they're like, like, and were you in a car on a motor. cycle? Yeah, that's it. I was on a motorcycle. No, I was on a bike on a hiking trip. Really? And you're pedaling along. Northern California. And you're pedaling along. Correct. And these things are like, they look

like flying jewelry. They're like shiny. They're like, they're like, they're like, they look like if you could, if you ever bumped into like an Egyptian prince at a nightclub, like Tutton Common. They can happen out here. He'd be like, kiss my hand. And he'd put his hand out, and there'd be a green ring on his finger that looked like one of these beetles. Yes, but it looks like those things in the mummy. When they would come and eat flesh, it's, yeah. They're like flesh-eaten green. They look metallic almost.

I'm surprised they're still around. I'm always shocked to see one of those things. It's like a praying mantis. Wow. It's this, but you'd rarely see them, but it still scared the crap out of me. Like dinosaurs. I rarely ever see a dinosaur anymore. I'm looking at one.

Yeah, I'm, thanks. I'm only 18. I know. So let's give us the scenario. You're driving through, is it hill country? Is it a field? It's camping. It's kind of like mountain area. It's kind of like a forest, let's say.

Okay, so you're pedaling through a forest. Pedaling along, fast. And fast, like really fast? Yeah, and I hear it coming. Whoa. And you can actually see it because it's large. And I try to avoid it by. ducking my head over and it just kind of

tried to fly in my mouth. And where did it hit you? In my closed mouth. It hit you on the lips? Yes. Oh my God! That's horrible! It was hideous. And did it just like bang and fly off? It kind of fell over and

that's how I was able to know what it was because I went back to see what it was. And I was going to stomp on it because I thought it was a bumblebee or something because it was that big. But no, it was this amazing jewel-looking thing. Imagine if it was a bumblebee When it hit you

It stung your lips They'd be I don't know Maybe I would get a free Lip job out of it Oh yeah It would be like Beverly Hills Like collagen injection

I would start a new trend I think And you'd kiss as would taste like honey Exactly Now wait a minute So You get banged in the lip And did it hurt? Yes, no

Oh it didn't hurt No It flew right at you It bangs you at the lips of all the places. Did you start to pee or did? It was instant. Like an instant little squirt? Yeah.

Really? Like a green beetle droplet? Oh, my God. God. Yes. Wow. Mm-hmm. I've never heard anyone get hit by a beetle and they pee.

Imagine if you ever, if you were like you were born like 40 years ago and you went to a Beatles concert, you would have had to wear an adult diaper. Yeah, I think so. Because beetles make you pee. And so that's great. That's a good story. That's a great story. I'm glad you brought that out of me. I don't think I would have ever told that story.

But, you know, it's probably, A, if you're going to get smacked in the face by something, at least it was a beautiful beetle. That's correct. At least it wasn't like a dumpy old, like, horsefly or something. Yeah, not the dragonfly of some sort, no. And what if it was like, what if it was like, man, I've lived in this forest? for so long and you know

I see old bears I see raccoons I see skunks all of a sudden this beautiful young girl drives through the 40s like I got to kiss that and he flies right for your mouth for a kiss he almost got eaten though

I know imagine if you'd open your mouth to scream I guess that would have technically if he went in your mouth and landed on your tongue he would probably tell his friends it was a French kiss imagine passing a shiny green beetle through your digestive system I mean not to be gross but if you think corn is a problem imagine six legs and beautiful shiny green

material that would be the best turd ever would be the most beautiful poo ever laid by a human being yeah it wouldn't even look like a turd it would look like a bunch of jewels It would look like the sequel to the thing. John Carpenter's the thing. Remake of that was horrible, by the way. Yeah, it was. Yeah.

It was no poo-encrusted be on. It was no Kurt Russell, okay. Oh, Russell. You like him? Are you hot for him? I love him. Backdraft, come on. Oh, really?

Heck yeah. I'm surprised you said backtrack, because that's like a more like real movie. I loved Kurt in Escape from New York. Oh, you look badass. Remember? That movie didn't do very well, yeah. Sure it did. I liked the soundtrack.

You might be thinking of Escape from L.A., the sequel. I think so. Was Steve Bouchemey in it? I can't remember. The original Escape from New York. Great movie, cult movie. Hmm, I have to go rent it. Kurt Russell, I have to say, did look hot in the thing with the beer and everything.

Yes, he was kick ass. He was cool. Oh, cool. I like Kurt. All right. Well, speaking. as celebrities. Here's your next question. This is an

interesting one. I can't wait to see what. Look at her. She's checking her text messages as we podcast. Let's hear it. Oh my God. People are addicted to their text messages. All right. So here's your question. Let's hear it. You're trapped on an island. You have

one animal, one celebrity, and one machine. And just imagine somehow there's magically electricity. So you have one animal, one celebrity, and one machine. What's the animal? An elephant.

Wow, why? I love elephants, love them since I was a kid. I'm a huge fan. I have elephant stuff all over my house. You do? Yeah. They're like people. They're awesome.

Well, they're like people at Golden Corral, like fat people. They cry. They have feelings. They're amazing creatures. They cry? They do. So if I'm like out on safari and I go, hey, fatty, you'll be like,

I come over and stomp you. Wow. Yeah. Have you ever seen an elephant in the wild? I have not. Unfortunately, I plan on doing that, though. That's like my dream vacation gone on safari somewhere. Oh, you love it.

But here's the thing. Remember what I said, you're trapped on an island. I mean, you got to figure that elephant's going to deplete your resources pretty quick. You got an elephant trompling around on a little island. is it the most economical creature to have? Well, I wasn't really thinking that way. Oh. I just love elephants.

But I'm not challenging your choice. That's not fair. If you want an elephant, you got it. I want an elephant. I've known you all these years, and I didn't know that your favorite was an elephant. Yes. That's beautiful.

You can actually ride them here in Los Angeles. You can? Yeah, I think the Santa Ana Zoo has an elephant ride. I went like maybe seven or eight years ago. Did you, and you did it? Heck yeah, I got up there and rode the elephant and took a picture with it and everything. Oh, they're amazing. They're amazing animals.

I went on safari. I've told this story before, but I went on safari in Nepal on elephant back. Whoa. And that was amazing. Oh, they are great creatures. And it is, they are very sensitive, right? They cry and they. Yeah, they have, you know, they mourn their, you know, when one dies, they mourn and they do the whole thing.

Can you imagine taking an elephant to like a real, like, sappy movie, you know, like a real, like tear jerker? Yeah. That thing would, imagine the Kleenex that thing would go through. Yeah. And he'd probably be reaching in front a few hours in front stealing popcorn and goobers. People are like, hey, what the? Where's my goobers? Where's my chocolate covered penis?

Oh, elephant in the back. Cry baby. Yeah, maybe. I wonder if you'd have to pay for the extra seats. Yeah, he might need like six or seven. Six or seven seats. At least. I don't think he'd be allowed in the arc light, that's for sure.

But you know what's cool? I think elephants can cross their legs too. Oh, can they now? So at least it would be sitting there all dainty. Crying, stealing snacks, but dainty. I like your choice. Okay, who's your celebrity? Well, you, of course.

Oh, it can't be me. I would love it if it was me. Believe me. Trapped, me and you on an island with an elephant. I don't know what the machine is yet. Please, this, I mean, that would be a dream come true. But who's your, outside of me, who's your celebrity? My celebrity, well, it's unfortunate that he's gay. Oh.

He just came out gay. is an actor named Matt. Matt. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex.

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No, I was hoping you would guess. It's like Matt, its name is Matt Bomber. Matt Bomber. Yeah, he is on a television series right now called White Collar. Oh. And he's in the new movie coming out called Magic Mike. Ooh. Yeah, the stripper movie with Matthew McConaughey.

It's going to be utterly ridiculous, but Matt is awesome. Now, I've never heard of this guy. Folks, if you're listening, look him up. Matt, who? Bomber. Bomber. That can't be his real name. B-O-M- Yeah, yeah.

Bomber. That's pretty cool. Although I'm a little suspicious, he might be Al-Qaeda at this point with a name like that. But what's the attraction? Is he super sexy or something? Yes. Really? He's amazing. And he's really funny. He's a really funny actor.

And I've seen a lot of interviews with him. And he's really ridiculously smart. All right. Now I'm jealous and screw bomber. It is going to be me on the island. Screw him. No. I'm kidding.

Yeah. That's wow. I always want to say Boomer, but it's Bomber. Mike Balmer. Yeah, Mike, Matt, Matt. Matt Bomber. That's correct. Wow, okay.

He's awesome. How old is this guy? I'm going to assume he's like in his early 30s. Now, I'm guessing from that answer, this is a guy if he's on the island, full privileges, like lovers, Blue Lagoon, Procreate, all that. Or is he just your eye candy? You're like, hey, bomber, go over and stand by the elephant. Get me some coconut milk, you know.

Get on top of that elephant. Go get some coconuts. Yeah. Or just boss them around. So that's all that is. Yeah. Or would you like, would you have romantic whoopty-do under the tropical moon with the palm fronds blowing

and the elephant snoring in the background? I mean, is that where this is going with bomber? No. It sounds like you just want a boy toy on your island. No. Which is a good move. you might as well have someone you want to be intimate with or maybe yeah i mean it's either him or angelina jolie i'd love to have her around really she's awesome and she's crazy now wait a minute

i don't want to you know start something here but would she be on your list could you could you get intimate with her oh heck yeah really oh yeah you'd get intimate with angelina jolly i think anybody would wow so i know you're not you're not gay you're like dudes, but you would throw, you would turn the other cheek, so to speak, if it was her. That's correct. She's so beautiful that you would abandon your heterosexuality or whatever it's called. What's it called? Heterosexual, right?

Wait, what's it called when you're not gay? What's it called when you're not gay? You're heterosexual. Now you got me doing it. Here comes heterosexual, down the track. It's heterosexual. Heteral. it's hecresacriate here comes hetriceacriot why not gay ways so she would make you like abandon being straight

she kind of scares me because she's so beautiful she's beautiful but i have a feeling in person she would not you know look the way i think she looks and she's super skinny and every celebrity doesn't look that way but i have seen matt in person at runyon and that guy is every good you saw him on the street. I've seen him with his mother. Yes. What did you say to him? I just looked down him. I didn't say anything. Why not? What am I going to say? Hey, dude. You want to get an abandoned island together? I've got an elephant. Yeah, and let's get out there. And by the way, you can watch me and Angelina Jolie, too.

Could she be my machine? Oh, look at you. Look at you. I have an amazing man. And, you know, if I had to choose a celebrity, he's not a celebrity, but he'd be Yes, you have a guy, Holly's got a boy from her two and a half years, but this is just all hypothetical. This is all hypothetical fun talk. This is the talk where if your boyfriend listens to this, he's probably listening now, don't worry, it's just hypothetical fun talk. Fun and games. There's no threat to your relationship. Well, he likes Kate Beckinsale, so that would be his choice, I think.

And coincidentally, you look a little bit like her. Yes. Yeah, a little bit. Interesting. Mm-hmm. And Matt also looks like my boyfriend. Uh-huh. He's also an actor, and his name's Brian Ames. Wow.

And he actually looks like him. So, oh, well, you're all set up. He's got that going for him. You're all set up. You guys can start your own underworld. All right, let's move on because, you know, I'm still having trouble dealing with you going at it with Angelina Jolie. It's very distracting. This interview might kind of start going off the rest.

I'm going in a weird area now. It is. But let's get to your machine. You're on the island. You got an elephant. You got the bomber. What's the machine? The bomber.

The bomber. The bomber. I mean, give me some examples. I don't even. Well, imagine you have electricity and you can plug anything into it. What would you want? I'm not going to help you here. I have a phone.

Oh, okay. I'll take a phone. Phone friend. so I can phone a friend and help me get off the island. You could phone your boyfriend and go, guess what I'm doing right now with Balmer? Yeah, that's right. In my elephant.

Yeah, great. All right, well, on that note, this is our next question. On that note of boyfriends and romance and relationships, and this is a serious question. Let's hear it. What is the most romantic line anyone has ever said to you. Oh, that's simple.

Oh, what is it? You're for me. And was that the bow? He has said that to me, yes. But that wasn't the current bow. That is the current one. Oh, he said that. He said that.

And where did that happen? See, what I'm trying to do is picture the setting. I hope it wasn't like at a Denny's, but somewhere romantic. Where was it said? He said it many of times. and I can't remember the first time he actually said it, but he lives on the beach in Malibu,

and so I remember him saying that on the beach once, which was really nice. Ah, see, now that's a romantic setting on the beach. You're the one for me. Yeah, you're for me, yeah. You're for me. That could be a good slogan. You know, you're for me.

You're for me. It's quick, it's easy. It's like not to diminish the romance aspect of your relationship, but if I'm like a corporate ad guy for McDonald's or Burger King right now, I'm going, oh, yeah, new campaign, new fall campaign. McDonald's, you're for me. You're for me.

Burger King, you're for me. I see it. Oh, wow. Arby's, you're for me. No, Arby's, no. Your favorite. We've had Arby's together before. We have.

We have. Somewhere on the road to Vegas One trip you took Was it on the way home I wrote our trip to Vegas Took me to Arbys We stopped at Arbys, you're right It was amazing

Yeah that was my Might have been my first time having it to be honest Oh I thought you meant the trip to Vegas Was amazing But you're talking about Arvys I enjoyed our trip to Vegas It was pretty good, yeah We'll kind of leave it right there

Yeah all of our adventures over the years we've had yeah we've had some good times man i gave him a peach tree actually for all you people out there the very first time you came up to my house you brought me as a present which which was adorable and unique and special a peach tree that's correct and it's still over here on the hill and now it's big 13 years later it's still over there it's a big tree now Ridiculous Redonculus All right

Here we go We're going on to our next question And this is a quickie This is easy This is a yes or no answer Okay Yeah Do clouds have sexual desires

For cotton candy I'm going to have to say No on that one That is the correct answer Oh yeah Good for you Uh Holly Lynch What song do you sing

the shower? Hmm. Come on. It's got to be a favorite go-to song in the shower. Oh, man. Come on. The go-to in the shower?

You know there's a song. I sing, sometimes I sing them. We are the champions. I do that one. You gave me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it. I thank you all. Ah, soap in my eyes.

Ah! No. I don't really have a good voice, so I'm not. Well, that's why I'm saying it because... I'm a hummer. What do you humming the shower? Whatever. Anything.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Oh, yeah. Was that a specific song? Was that your own composition? It kind of goes with my mood. That's why people sing in the shower, though, because I think there's that old singer, you're a shower singer, because most people are not good singers.

Right. So they do it in the shower. And what I find is, you know, usually you shower alone so nobody hears it. But I also find the acoustics in a shower are pretty good. Yeah, it makes you sound better. It makes you sound better, right? Makes you feel better, I think. It makes you feel better.

It makes you feel clean. I'm wondering now if some of our favorite rock performers should be taking showers on stage while they sing. Oh, wow. Like Bono walks out in a shower. Billy Idol, showering your eyes without a face. Mm-hmm. I think I'll wash my face.

You know, he's in the shower. He's got to change the lyrics up. I don't think I want to picture a lot of people in the shower. Like Mick Jagger. Yeah, that's true. He's skinny little twig legs. Yeah, he looked, he'd probably look like a zombie loofaing, right? Like, he would lufa his body and like a rib would fall off or a lamb.

or a leg he's like what the hell's that can't really get what i wanted would be hanging around it would just skin and i don't think that let's scratch that show or idea it's not very good um hey folks you're gonna love this when i when i heard about this let me tell them a little story about holly i never watched the NBA um basketball okay i'm not a basketball guy i'm Canadian i love hockey okay but i was bored uh you know, about a month back. And I thought, you know what? I love playoff sports because it's always so intense.

I'm like, I'll watch a basketball game. I watch the heat. All of a sudden, one of those wicked corona commercials comes on where people are sitting on that beautiful beach with the palm tree, their backs to the camera, and they're doing nothing. They're just sitting there. And how many of you out there are like, man, how would I love to sit on that beach?

Well, let me tell you some folks. I was sitting there watching the basketball game. Corona commercial comes on. Who's in it as the star? Holly Lynch. She's right here. She has sat on that Corona beach. Talk to me, baby.

Tell me about that beach. Wow. It was surreal being one of the many to sit on that beach. I never thought I would ever do that. Not that many have sat on the beach. Well, you'd be surprised. You would think it was. would be the same person always because you never see the face you're like that's one couple that's

one take whatever but no they actually fly every single person in those commercials and they sit on that beach it's um in tulum mexico telum mexico is that on the east coast or the west coast i am not quite sure okay you didn't ask questions you just got on it's like an hour drive outside there okay so it's in that region and it's it's a pretty uh abandoned beach there's not a lot going on not a ton where that beach is there is a resort there um but there wasn't a lot of people there good so it was this and it looks exactly like that everybody oh not disgusting you know it's the whole beach looks like that and the water's like that blue and green and green and warm and just amazing and can you is it it's it's it's one of those beaches it looks good but you can't swim

because there's rocks jellyfish and stuff no did you go right in went right in oh and And I got to, they flows out there. I stayed four days and I only shot for 20 minutes on the fourth a day. No way. That's correct. You sat on that peach for 20 minutes. Yes. And did, well, I had my whole, like, I turned it into a vacation because they were shooting three different endings to three different commercials.

So they did two, they did, you know, six people doing the cheers in different commercials. So mine happened to be shot the last. And it only took 20 minutes. It was super easy. I love it. And what I want people to know is, you know, a lot of times when you shoot something in a film or a commercial, it's like you see what the camera sees, but then off to the right and off to the left, beyond the lens of the camera, there's like a car junkyard or, you know, some kid crawling through a garbage dump or something like that. But in this case, just so people don't have their fantasy ruined, it was just as beautiful as you see it on TV. It was equally as beautiful and amazing.

I'll tell you, those commercials are effective because, you know, it's one of the few commercials where they're actually a delight to watch because you really do want to be transported to that spot. You want to be there. You want to be there and you want everything to be shut off. Like I'm not a huge booze drinker. I don't go out of my way for beer and stuff, but, you know, just to be sitting there with an ice cold,

drink and a beautiful girl or a beautiful man yeah you know the bomber yeah the only thing missing is one of an elephant strolled through and in his trunk a cell phone and he's like you'll call miss lynch it's your boyfriend he wants to know what you're doing you with balmer bomber bomber the gay guy yeah oh yeah that's right he's gay he's gay he just came out yeah you disappointed no were you crushed no But that's got to be... It doesn't surprise me. It's, you know... But that's got to be like, you know, obviously you had a fantasy element about that guy.

It's got to hurt a little bit that the guy you want to be on a desert island with. Not a desert island, a deserted island. There's no islands in the desert. But all of a sudden, you find out he doesn't even like you. He's like, he's checking out that trunk on the elephant over you and a bikini. Harland. Well, seriously. It's a phallic shape.

I mean, that's probably more in his wheelhouse. Well, yeah. And if it's, you know. How crushed would you be? I'm a little crushed, but I got to tell you my boyfriend loves that he's gay. Yeah. And well, in his crush, Kate Beckinsale is apparently a terrible diva and like a huge bitch. Oh, really?

So we both like people that aren't. That aren't really worth liking. Yes, exactly. In terms, not in terms of not. being human beings, but their lifestyle, their personality would not suit you. Yeah, but they're always fun to watch and look at. I'm still looking at him. I still like looking at Kate Beck and Seattle.

I think she's pretty. Yeah. But hey, you know, going back to the Corona thing, now, I think they need to come up, like, do not be so censored. Maybe there needs to be two girls cheering and having a little moment on a beach. Sitting on the beach. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Why not? Well, I guess with a beer company, though, it's not about that. it's probably more about demographics because probably more dudes drink beer than women. Yeah. So that might not be in their best interest to have two women because then it would isolate dudes a little bit. But hey, I'd like it. Right. Do you like beer?

You know what? I drink beer to catch a buzz. I couldn't give a crap about the, to me beer tastes like crap. It's like drinking rancid soup. It's got a bad taste There's nothing good about beer to me Maybe you've been drinking the wrong beer I've drank beer all over the world

It's not like you know You eat a steak and you're like Oh my God the flavor the texture Or you have bacon And you're like oh my God bacon You drink a beer and it's like Yeah kind of bitter kind of sour What is that?

Well what's your alcohol of choice then? Well I don't drink much alcohol Oh. But what I was going to say is I've never had hard booze. All I've ever drank is beer, wine, or socky. And none of them tastes that good to me. But the only reason I ever put alcohol in my mouth is to catch a little buzz. I've seen Harlan buzzed in the last 13 years, maybe once or twice.

The night we met I was buzzed. We met at a nightclub. We met at Los Pomas. How disgusting is that we did back in the day. Weren't you with, what's his name, Tom Green? Were you with him? Not that night, not the night we met. I thought you were with somebody, but I can't remember who was.

I bumped into you at a club, like about a year ago with Tom Green. Oh, okay. Oh, that's right. But the night we met for the first time, the first night you looked at me and went, oh, my God. Well, we were both obviously sitting there. It was really funny, people. We were both sitting there thinking the same thing, like, what the hell, one, are we doing here, too? Just people watching all these L.A. douchebags.

and then I was alone he was alone I don't know we were probably ditched by our people for whatever reason so we both turn around at the same time and I've obviously seen him in films and it's always funny so I turn around and he's making this ridiculous face and I start laughing immediately and then obviously conversation came up and then I think I remember him asking me one if I did any modeling and then two if I had done modeling in some moccasins before like like indian moccasins wooden ones actually oh like talking about that clogs clogs yeah oh maybe i told you i was a clog model just to like seduce you i think so yeah because i i was under the impression girls loved male clog models so i that was my pickup line you know i'm a clog model yeah i mean it worked i did bring them a peach tree people me

friends ever since so there you go oh see lovely i love that love it well beyond the corona commercial which which is beautiful and watch for holly in that commercial the the front part of the commercial is holly in an airplane it is she's in an airplane with a dude and they start talking and then the end of the commercial they're on that beach so you can't miss it you can google it um flight corona you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna google it and uh we're gonna google it and uh we're gonna play it right here on the show. Oh, whoa. I'm going to drop it in.

All right, man. Yeah. Heck yeah. In fact, let's play it right now. Here we go. Are we doing okay here? Absolutely. And what can I get for you?

I'll have one of those. Whoa, Holly. Nice. Nice acting, right? Oh, God. Nice everything. You look great. You're so beautiful and cute.

And on that note, we got to get to, I'm so excited to talk about this. You just had your first feature film come out where you were the lead actress in the movie. I was. And this is great. To tell us about the movie, what's the name? of it first of all it's called sweetwater yeah the movie is called sweetwater um an amazing cast i got to work with john savage from deer hunter deer hunter great actor and he did another movie back in the 80s called the amateur um he's done a lot of stuff great character actor he's been in about 160

movies i think it's yeah the guy's a workaholic and he lives out here um in malibu in los angeles he's a solid solid actor he's a little bit kooky but he's he's good he's good he's good He's a little crazy, but he's the good crazy, you know. And what was your role in the movie? I actually played his daughter. Okay. Joella Cabral, I played a 23-year-old med student. Okay.

Pretty awesome. What's the log line of the movie? The log line of the movie is basically the story of two childhood friends who have grown apart over the years, not only because of their cultural background, but just because they're completely different, you know. You know, one's rich, one's poor kind of situation. And they're suddenly thrust back into each other's lives when one of their parents finds out she has terminal cancer. And they both joined forces to find the cure, but they soon realized that basically their lives are going to be in danger if they expose the truth, the cure. Wow, wow. Yes.

Wow, interesting. It's very intense movie. It sounds heavy, yeah. Very heavy, but with a great message and, you know, an amazing end. And I've also got to work with the amazing Dean Kane. Superman. Oh, Superman. Heck, yeah.

What a talented, amazing guy. Yeah, he is good. I've seen him do some bit parts and movies, and he's better than what the TV show would lead you to believe. Yeah, you know, he works a lot. He is doing something all the time, whether it be writing, directing, producing the guys like a genius. Well, you know what's interesting about him? He's come, he no longer has that young Superman look. Yeah.

Which I think helps him because he was very, you know, Clark Kentish looking and very chiseled and handsome guy. But now he's kind of filled out a little more. He looks more like a dad almost. Yeah. And I think that kind of helps open up more windows range-wise for him to be an actor and be taken a little more seriously. And I think it's allowing his talents to shine through a bit more because he's no longer kind of stuck in the stigma of the Superman thing. Yeah, yeah.

And I wish I'd see more of him out there, you know. Yeah, I know. Well, you could always, have you ever thought about stalking at all? Yeah, he lives in Malibu as well. Well, you can probably get his address through some friends, network a little. I have his number. I'll call him up. You could stock, right?

Yeah. I'll be his agent, get him out there. Oh, really? Yeah, maybe. Look at you. Maybe I should quit acting and just... Look at you, Lucy Lou. I also worked with William Cat, the greatest American hero.

Oh, that guy. Yes. He played the bad guy. Okay, yeah, yeah. There was some movies in the 80s called The House, and he was in those. They were like horror movies. Yes, which I did talk to him about that. Yeah.

And that was awesome because my brother and I were scared, shitless of this movie. Yeah. But, I mean, I pulled up clips when we were there and we were watching it together, and it was so utterly retarded and not scary at all. I know, I know. Like, you could see strings on things and stuff like that. Oh, my God. But he laughed when I mentioned it, kind of like, you know, you can see the memory on his face about that movie. It was a big movie.

At the time, they were good movies, though. Well, Holly, best of luck with your movie. We should tell people it's not a theatrical release. It's like a DVD release. It's going to be, well, they're pitching the heck out of it right. Now, it did really well theatrically released in Arizona and Texas. Okay, so that limited release is like an indie movie. Yes, but it's going to be straight to TV out here.

Good. So it'll be on Lifetime or We or Oxygen, one of those. Well, folks, keep your eyes out, program your DVRs for Sweetwater and watch Holly Lynch. And in the meantime, you can see her on TV and the beautiful Corona commercial. And State Farm as well. State Farm. You're the girl on the couch. I'm the girl from 4E, yeah.

From 4E. She's the girl from 4E and all kinds of stuff, folks. And you're going to see much more of Holly in the days and weeks and years to come. But that's all pending. We've got to deal with the here and now, Holly Lynch. It is time for the Harland Highway Animal Quiz. Let's roll the music. It's time for...

Harlan Highway Animal Quiz. All right, Holly Lynch, are you ready? I've been preparing for this moment. Okay, let me remind our listeners how the Harland Highway Animal Quiz works. How it works is we're going to have three animals here, okay? And I give clues, I set up clues for Holly, and within those clues, she should be able to guess the name of the animal. should be they are not obscure animals they are very common animals and by the use of the clues

she should be able to and you people listening along at home or in your meth labs or wherever you are should be able to figure out these animals so you're ready for number one I'm a little scared all right here we go I'll help you through it if you if it gets tough I'm a half retard so Oh, stop. Even if it's obvious, I might not catch on. Remember, the animal has to be living. Oh, yeah. And here.

You'll know all these animals. Let's do it. Here's the first one. I am a bird. And if I don't give you all of my name, then I would give you a blank of my name. But the second half, you would guess if you were standing on this high precarious perch. yeah so let's do it let's slow it down slow it down let's do it first of all it's a bird yes i am a bird yes and if i don't give you all of my name then i would give you a blank of my name

so if i don't give you all of my name of something yeah what do i give you give me half you're around it oh what I don't give you all. I would give you some or a piece or a right around it. It sounds like peace. Sounds like peace. If I don't give you all of my name, then I would give you a half retard. No, just don't worry.

You're going to figure these out. The first one's always tough. Peace, a part of. Oh, what did you say? Peace, a part of. Part. Yeah. There's the first.

part. Okay. I am a bird. A parakeet. No, that's pair, not part. You're very close, half a retard. I am a bird and if I don't give you all of my name,

then I would give you part of my name. But the second half, you would guess, if you were standing on this high precarious perch. I don't know. What is a high precarious perch? You're going to kick yourself when I tell you. I know. It's going to be super easy.

I told you, even if it was written out, I would not get it. A ridge. A partridge. A partridge. You got the first part part part. So is some obscure bird here. A partridge isn't obscure. You ever heard of the partridge family?

Yes. You ever hear of a partridge in a pear tree? Yeah. We sing about partridges every Christmas. I don't. Remember, I'm not a good singer. Oh, damn. So apart.

Could you hum the 12 days of Christmas? A part. And I don't know the last rest in a pear tree. All right, zero for zero. Partridge. We're going to the second. Jesus. Really?

Yeah. There's three. You've got it. Come on. Here we go. Seriously, I told you it wasn't any good at this. Don't knock yourself down. I think you're going to.

get the next one. Ready? Partridge. This is a whole new one. Ready? Okay. I'm ugly because I'm part cooking pot, part the first letter of the alphabet,

and part something you have to do with a phone number in order to reach a friend. Are you listening to those people? Are you serious with all that? It's easy. It is not. It's a part of a pot. I'm ugly because,

I'm part cooking pot, part the first letter of the alphabet, and part something you have to do with a phone number in order to reach a friend. The middle one's easy. What? Say it again. Part the first letter of the alphabet. Yes, A. Okay, so you got the- Yeah, I got that.

You got A. And part something you have to do with a phone number in order to reach a friend. Get it down. Right. You okay? Okay, so you got two. You got A and you got Dial. I'm ugly.

Think of the clues. I'm ugly because I'm part... There's a lot of ugly things. I'm part cooking pot. The alligator. You've got... What an elephant. Is it an elephant?

You've got the last part. Say the last part. What, dial? What? Say the last part. Come on. Now I'm just going to play with you. You've got it.

an elephant. No, say the last. It's a beetle. It's a green turd beetle. Crocodile. Bingo. I said that before. You said an alligator.

You got one. See? I'm part cooking pot, a crock pot. I'm the first letter of the alphabet A. And I dial my friends. Where do you come up with this stuff? I make them up. Crocodile.

Crocodile. You got it. Caught it. See, you didn't think you could do it. That's what. I love about the animal quiz. People they don't think their brain will put it together and then what it does

it's magic. It's kind of like Madge. Madgab, that movie or the game Madgab. Yeah. It's like that. Now that you're in the zone. All right. We have one final question. Now that you know how it works. Crocpot. I'm going to give you the last one. You ready?

Let's hear it. She's looking at me like I'm going to kill you. Here is the last question on the Harlan Highway Animal Quiz, ladies and gentlemen. I'm delicious seafood that's part a soft throw and part something you do to make instant hot chocolate. Boil water. No. That's what you have to do to make hot chocolate. That's part of it, but that's not the thing.

There's different things. There's different things. You have to work your way through. them okay i'm delicious seafood that's part soft throw soft throw what's a soft throw hmm there's people on your driveway when you throw something softly what do you do you toss it no you do toss it but what if it's slow what like it's a term in baseball it's a when you throw it when you throw it when you throw it when you throw it soft softly and high it's called oh mm-hmm the pitch no is it an elephant oh you got it that's it no i knew it okay it's balmer seafood it's mad isn't it no okay i would have said i'm delicious gay seafood he's a soft

throw yeah and under a throw i'm delicious seafood that's part a soft throw You can eat it Yeah Sushi No You throw Do you ever hear of a lob ball No

Lob ball? I've never heard of that before Oh So he Lobster Bingo But I've never heard of that Throw before

Yeah a lob Well it doesn't have to be out of baseball It's when you lob something You just kind of throw it And then with your hot chocolate You have to stir it Lobster you got one out of three give her a hand i'm the only one here right hey it's tough your first time

are you kidding me i'm not my brain doesn't work well like that well you got one so you should be proud of yourself if i if i if you can walk down the street and a half retard can get one out of three you're on your way to being a three quarter retard all right what that didn't make sense it does You never make sense to me sometimes. That makes sense. Well, Holly, what a treat having you here. We are at, sadly, whenever we do the animal quiz, it marks the end of the podcast.

It does. But you're sad. You want to keep going. I know. I've heard your podcast before. I think they're funny. Oh, really? I'm glad to be on here.

Oh, I'm glad you're here. Are you kidding? Fun times. Well, would you come back and do another one? Oh, heck yeah. And would you still be willing to try the animal quiz? Yeah, I would brush up. You know what we could do is we could pick a topic that you like,

like movies or music or history or science. All right. And then we can make the quiz about a topic you're more... How about if I quiz you next time? Oh, okay. You'll make the questions? Oh, yes. There'll be tongue twisters.

Okay. I'm in. That'll be fun. I love it. You can feel like an idiot for a minute there. I could feel like the other half of your retard. we could press together and become a full. But your brain works differently than mine,

so you might totally understand what I'm saying. I might, but my brain rarely works, though. Like, it's rarely working. He's pretty talented, folks. He does it all. So, I don't believe that for two seconds. Well, ladies and gentlemen, Holly Lynch was our guest today.

Don't forget to check out her movie, Sweetwater. Fantastic stuff. You're going to love it. check her out on fudgy wudgey fudge face which you can download at amazon.com or you can purchase at harlorn williams.com Watch for her beautiful corona commercial. She's sitting on the beach. We all want to sit on.

We had her sitting right here in the chair today. Holly, thank you so much. Thank you, Harlan. So much. Love you, babe. Thanks for listening, everybody. And that's it, folks. We are all out of time.

you want to go get a corona I thought you don't drink beer I'm going to make an exception you're the corona girl let's just catch a buzz and then we'll stop drinking okay I don't have a beach but I have a log out front we can sit on under the peach tree yeah

let's do it ladies and gentlemen holly lynch I'm harland williams thanks for being here and until next time chicken chow maim baby Thank you.