The Harland Highway - 434: Singer/songwriter Sterling Mire is today's guest.

Episode Date: September 27, 2012

Today we discuss music, helicopters, kangaroos, periods, and oh so much more with the lovely and talented Sterling Mire. Bundle your fun-dle!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sweet Mother of Mercy Bay. Uh, hey, gang, it's Harland Williams here. Uh, you are on the, the highway, the one and only highway, the Harland Highway, where speed doesn't matter, rules don't matter, um, you know, turning lanes don't matter. Nothing matters. Just sit back, enjoy, and listen to this podcast. That's what it is. It's a podcast called The Harland Highway, and you're on it with me, your host, Harlan Williams,

and what a S-H-O-W show I have for you today. We are bringing back a guest that we've had here once before. She's spirited. She's sexy. She's playful. She's fun. She's a talented singer, songwriter who's going to tell you about her new website, and we're just going to get into it. We're going to be talking about everything, and I mean everything, here on the Harland Highway.

Welcome to the Harland Highway. All right, let's get this sucker going, huh? You're causing a major disturbance on my time. It's the Harland Highway. What's up, Bra? If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it our time? I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Am I hallucinating here?

Just what in the hell do you think you are doing? You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. This is your fucking wake-up call, man. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harland Williams. In 30 seconds, you'll be dead. I'll blow this place up and be home in time for cornflakes. Hey, everybody, this is Harland Williams.

Back with you. That's WIT, W-W-I-T, back with you for another incredible adventure down the Harland Highway. I'm not driving solo today. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have a very special guest. She's been on the podcast before. She's incredible. She's an actress.

She's a singer. She's a songwriter. I can't verify this, but I think she might be a supermodel, but she'd never say it. Ladies and gentlemen, my friend, Sterling Meyer, is here. Say hello to the gang. How are you? Hello.

Hello. See, that was sexy. Hello. I'm great. You look great. Well, so do you. I really like your Captain America shirt. It looks like it was dug up from the 1970s.

It's so faded, but you still got the bull's eye. That's all it matters. Dug up from the 1970s from a grave nonetheless. That's right. I love it. I love it. Well, welcome. Great to have you back.

It's been a little while. since you've been here. Yeah. And you've been busy. You've been like, you've been getting a bunch of your original music, your Sterling Meyer music and your band music, darlings of the day,

and a bunch of movies. Yeah. You've got your music placed in all kinds of major motion pictures, for God's sake. Look out. Who are you? You've got a new website, too. If anyone wants to go hear some of Sterling's music

or see the movies that she's got her music in. Give them the website right now. I'm ordering you. Okay. It's sterlingmiremusic.com, and there's a couple of movies coming out here. Do tell, do tell. Don't be selfish. Okay.

Okay. Oh, she's right big fat person. Oh. And one is called Hold Your Breath. and it's a really spooky story. Is that the fart movie? Yeah. I saw a movie on the internet the other day called Hold Your Breasts,

which was probably the dirty version. So Hold Your Breath, and that's a Lifetime movie. Isn't that with Lauren Hawley? No, no, that's a different movie. What's that one? I heard you did a movie with Lauren Hawley. That's a different one. Oh, what's this one?

Okay, this one comes out October 5th. It's already being advertised at all the AMC theaters. So you probably see the poster. and stuff so it's just in time for Halloween is a scary movie horror movie and basically

premises any time that you pass a graveyard the old wives tale is that you must hold your breath or the demon ghosts will enter via the mouth wow

okay and possess your soul you haven't heard about this it's true it's basically on a true story that one wow there that that sounds like a bit of a stretch but if i have to hold my breath passing what about people that go to visit their they're deceased in a graveyard can they not talk to each other they have to hold their breath don't they do like don't they do ceremonies in graveyards how does the priest go ashes two ashes dust to dust you like you got to breathe i think they use

an apparatus like a priest a secret priest box yeah a secret priest tracheotomy box? You know what? I'm glad you got your thing in a movie, but that is a real reach. Hold your breath if you pass a graveyard. I'm telling you. I've never heard of that.

The only thing I've ever heard is that if you sleep, a cat could come and steal your breath. A cat sits on your chest and like sucks the oxen. oxygen out of you that can happen too what if you have a cat on your chest as you walk past a graveyard are you just dead in a second yeah you're basically they're they're next you know victim to bury yeah this is our car 57 we got a siamese on a male victim in front of mount pleasant over yeah he's gone nope no breath what hell yeah so so that yeah but you know scenes believing once you see the film then then you can make up your mind whether you think it's true

or not or i could not wait for the film but just go to a graveyard when we're done and try like reciting poetry and see if i dropped dead absolutely i you've got to go with somebody obviously so you know now is it an old wives tale or an old wise tale what's what's the what's the what's the what's the saying there it's a wife it's a wife like some wife came up with it Yeah. I'm serious. I can't remember. People always go,

didn't you say it's an old wife's tale? Yeah, the wife came up with it. So some wife was at home like baking like cinnamon crumble was bored out of her ass. He goes, you know what? Screw this cooking bullshit. If you go past the graveyard and talk,

your dad, she cursed her cinnamon squares. It's got to be an old wise tale, isn't it? No, it's wives. And then she got a bunch of other wives together And they all decided That's true They all came up with it

But there's a whole But who are these wives? Like whose wives are they? The president's wives The wives of Beverly Hills Who are they? What wives? I don't know

But I think They're just very wise wives Maybe they're pilgrims Because you, when you see it, you go It's an old wives tale So they must be old wives oh yeah you know come to think of it they're always reinvent you having you know

one day vitamin C is good for you the one day it's not maybe it's one of those things like it's old and what's now like what he maybe that's just old news yeah maybe it's a new wives tale oh yeah maybe it's like maybe it's like a fiance's wife tale maybe she's not even married yet yeah what if it's just a

indiscriminate one night's stand tale where it's just like Bing Bang Boom and the Motel 6 and You know that's it You don't even have to be a wife anymore Well I don't think I believe it then What if it's a whores tale? Yeah I don't know yeah I don't think

Oh that that's an old sluts tail right there Yeah yeah That's an old dirty old bitch's tail right there That's not credible Yeah Okay Well good for you don't forget Give them that website

site one more time i want people to go and hear you her music's incredible it's sterlingmyer music dot com yeah and then there's another one remember layover with lauren holly lay over with lauren holly that's a that's a cable tv lifetime movie network type and that's coming up in the fall that's coming in within probably within the next few weeks to a month so we don't have the exact date but check your uh computers your tvos type it into your digital VCR, the digital recorder, layover with Lauren Hawley. She's an old wife. She's Jim Carrey's old wife.

Can you imagine her old wife tale? I wonder what that would be like. If you say, all righty then, three times you grow tits or something. You know what I mean? She's got to have some good ones. Yeah, I think so. In this story, she's,

she's kidnapped. She's held hostage. Finally. I hope she's not held hostage and they play your song on a loudspeaker in a concrete room over and over to torture her. That would not put your music in a good light.

I hope it's like a love scene or something. You mean like your movie? Yeah, exactly. The love scene that played out between you in the alien. Yes. By the way, Sterling's music is in one of my movies.

Fudgy Wudgey Fudge Face, which you can buy at my web store, or you can download it Amazon.com. And it's a beautiful song. It's probably, to me, it's my favorite song of yours. I love your music,

but that's always been my favorite. And I put it in the, it's in the dying scene in my movie, Fudgy Wudgey Fudge Face. It's like a flashback scene where they show all the memories of their time together. It's beautiful. It's a tear-jurking scene.

It's a tear-jurking, and I'm glad it's just tear-jurking and nothing else. Because that would really not be appropriate. Well, let's move on. We've talked enough about all that stuff, and we're going to plug your website again at the end of the show, just so people. But let's get into the nitty-gritty here. We've got topics to cover. Yeah, let's do it. Like, first of all, should women be allowed to fly helicopters?

Yeah, yeah, I think so. Whoa, you got to back that up because there's a lot of people, a lot of my listeners right now are going, no way, women can't be a no chopper. Yeah, it depends on the woman. Most women have eyes in the back of their head, so. Really? Yeah, you didn't know that? Wait, what?

I think they came up with the sixth cent and all this stuff, you know, about women and how they are so intuitive and everything. There's no such thing. It's the eyes. That sounds like a wife's tail. I think you just made up a while women have eyes in the back of their heads while flying helicopters. Definitely an old wife's tail. Yeah. Are you kidding?

But really, you think women should be able to fly around in a hovering like helicopter with rotating blades? Well, I think they have good navigation. really provided that they've got a couple of you know a couple of good you know breasticles to guide the way the men I think have a rudders and that's really more fitting for boats wouldn't you say yes so men are good at riding boats and women what do you said they had breasticles and those are good for navigating a helicopter so their breasts point in the direction where the helicopter needs to go yeah exactly it's like a navigation thing and they just know exactly where to head so if a woman gets off course in a helicopter her breasts will actually twist under underneath her shirt point the way they'll pull her boobs will bend to the south or the west to the north and and show her where to go okay let's put it like this if you were ever in the frozen section aisle of the grocery store yeah and you go up to a woman who's not way

wearing a bra, per se. Sounds good. And you ask her where something is. Have you ever noticed that she always seems to point the way with her breasticles? That's right. They don't even have to answer. You just hear that kind of frozen creaky sound like when people walk on snow. And their breasts like turn towards the, you know, the hot dogs on a stick or the pizza pockets or whatever.

Or the turkey basters. Excellent point. See, that's why I asked you because I've been, most of my listeners, we're wondering about this, and you just cleared it up. I had no idea that women's breasts navigated high-tech helicopters. It makes me wonder if the secret of Osama bin Laden raid, which had two helicopters, Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes.

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Exactly. Well, exactly. And you know where they really showed this up was, and if you watch the James Bond movies closely, there's always a woman in the helicopter with James Bond. Whoa, you're right. That's why. And usually her breasts are eight out. Basically, yeah. If not, yeah. They're getting double 07 right in the cockpit. Yeah, right, in the cockpit. And you thought that she was there, you know, just for his flight of fantasy or something. She was actually instrumental, no pun intended.

Wow. I tend to notice two in those movies that her breasts often bend right towards James Bond's mouth, too. They seem to navigate right into his pie hole. They can do that. They can do that. And good for him, you know. He deserves it. He's on His Majesty's Secret Service.

He's earned it. Yeah, yeah, I think so. I mean, you know, it's a, you know, James Bond was a big pacifier. He loved pacifiers, I mean. What, like the things babies suck on? Yeah, he was a thumb sucker, and that's why he, that's why he likes women so much in terms of, like, being guided towards their breasts, you know, orally, yeah. Oh.

You didn't know that. If you look it up online, you can find out, you know, look at, like Google, Baby James Bond. And you'll find out all kinds of facts about the baby James Bond. Wasn't that just when he was double O? Yeah. No, I think it was just, oh, oh. Maybe he hadn't gotten the seven yet.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Double O. Oh, just the double O. Yeah, exactly. So baby James Bond was just double O. And by the way, two double O's side by side look like breasts. Interesting. See the correlation?

This is not a conspiracy. It's a fact. We just snapped a code, I think. Yeah. I think we just snapped her majesty. Secret Service Code. All right, well, good. Now, let's move on to you.

If you could come back as another soul or another being, what or who would it be? And it could be anything, but I know you're a spiritual person. You're an esoteric person. You're eclectic. What would you come back as a soul or a creature or a being or a lightsaber? I don't know. A scrambled egg sandwich. What would you come back as?

Probably something like a tree. Really? Yeah. Why? Why a tree? Well, you know, a lot of people actually come back as trees. Did you know that? So I've got a bunch of people standing in my yard?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's true. I've been trimming people. Yeah. I saw woodpecker on someone the other day then. Yeah. Pecking at him.

Yeah, well, yeah, they're very tolerant. Why a tree? Why do you want to be a tree? isn't that kind of like you're just kind of stationary and you can't move and well what really kind of grabbed my attention about being a tree was that I had a friend of mine tell me a story about when she was living in Oregon and she went to a grateful dead concert and she was about only 1819 and she decided and it was an outdoors concert you know everybody was camping out and she went into the woods nearby to camp she was sitting there

with her friend just you know kind of taking in the beauty and the tree all around her and suddenly the trees started laughing at both of them and they were realized that they were playing with the trees and the trees like ha ha you know making little faces at them and stuff and they looked at each other like did you see that it's like did you see that yeah and they both ran out and then they decided okay we got to face this and they went back in sat on the log and looked and the trees came to life again and this time they were he was poking his tongue out the tree tree tongue yeah tree tongue you know you as you can imagine and then the tree was swaying its head its branches and laughing kind of like a belly laugh and yeah they pulled out a drunk guy out of the concert who'd been drinking too much but nevertheless he was the only one that would go with them in the forest and he saw it too

well wait a minute don't don't we have to assume the minute you say grateful dead concert you got to assume they're on acid oh no they were totally sober they were I think I think that might have to be disputed. Let's just get this straight. Grateful dead concert plus trees coming to life sticking out their tongues and laughing equals hardcore acid. That's a common math equation. That's a no-bra. I'm not even good in math and I figured that one out. Grateful dead concert plus talking laughing trees equals acid. That's in any math book. You know, yeah, it sounds like, you know, it would be but life's not always logical and when they told me the story I hadn't had anything to drink or hadn't ingested anything

and I totally believe them so well it wasn't what you had it's what they had did you ask them if they were cranked up on horse tranquilizer oh they said totally sober so why do you want to be a tree if I can hazard a get because of the connectivity to the earth the

roots going into the earth and the leaves blowing in the air and the oxygen coming out of your leaves Yeah, I could be, yeah, you know, I'd be life providing. I'd be able to provide a house for the birds. It's a beautiful thing. Planted deeply into the earth, that's wonderful too.

What if you got cut down and got made into a wooden toilet seat? How bad would your reincarnation suck right there? I hadn't thought about that. Yeah. Now, let's ask again, what would you really like to be? Can you imagine all the sorry asses at the Grateful Dead concert sitting on your face dropping acid dumped? Oh, gosh. Okay. Yeah. Now that you put it that way. Now that I put it that way, I think I'd rather be like P. Diddy's Butler or something.

Oh, that could be taken in so many ways. I don't know how, but I just thought I'd say that. I'd take it orally if I were you. Yeah. Like a... All right. Well, that was kind of a weird, like, you know, we started off with something, but then it kind of became maybe not. So we'll leave that one hanging.

But you are a lyricist. You write songs. You write beautiful lyrics. You've got the gift of music. within you so here's what we're going to do this is called on the spot lyrics okay i'm going to give you three words okay three little phrases and let's see if you can just in in the moment put together a little verse you don't have to sing it just say it you know like like almost instant poetry right we'll see what happens and see if you can come up with even a little paragraph or even a

sentence but you have to incorporate these three little words or phrases okay let's let's see what the singer-songwriter's side of your brain does ready okay it's a challenge but i think you could do it all right here's the words first word cactus second one full moon and third one broken heart cactus full moon broken heart stitch them together and some lyrics one night I was out in the desert spoken word by the way

one night I was out in the desert amongst all the cactuses there was a full moon and there was a broken heart hopping around me and I was like what are you doing here and it was like well I live out here what are you doing here and I said I'm just visiting

how'd you like to be me for day. I said, now I wouldn't, and I just turned around and walked away because I heard that Bobby Gray was playing on the beach, and he was playing his hit song, there's going to be a party tonight on the beach. Wow. Wow. I almost started to see a talking tree in there somewhere. A talking cactus. Wow, that was pretty good. That was like spoken word. I'll be honest, I was thinking more like a, like a song lyric. Like, uh, full moon baby riding down the street my broken heart like a cactus beat beat beat you know what i mean oh yeah you want some rhyme in there i want not necessarily the rhyme but but more like what would be a line

we'd hear in a song you know what i mean and it's tough this isn't easy gang but i thought you know and i know i'm putting you on the hot seat but you know you're good at this the spoken word thing was Totally valid and cool, but I was thinking more like just a quick, encapsulated kind of lyric. Just try it again. Okay. Here's your words. Take your time. Cactus, full moon, broken heart.

I wouldn't do the same ones. Okay. Yeah. Brokenhearted I was when I went out to see my friends in the old poke cow poke town. That's right. And then I came upon a cactus rose And I laid my poor body down And then I looked up to the full moon in the skies

Then I wondered by and by Where am I supposed to go? I'd love to take to the flying skies Down down down down I guess it would have to be like That's it, that's good Well, I saw, you know, actually, I was channeling. I know you were.

That's what I was hoping you do. You know who that was? Who? That was, that was Bobby Totem pole gray. Oh, Bobby Totem pole gray? Bobby Gray's granddad was part Indian. Who the hell's Bobby Gray, first of all? What the hell is that channeling?

Unbelievable. There's Bobby Totem Cole Gray. He's half cowboy, half Indian. I noticed you've got a bit of a twang in there. You were like, I went down to the cactus thing. Into the desert town. Exactly. And, yeah, Bobby Totem pole.

Great, because there's tons of totem poles out in the middle of the desert. That will. Where there's no trees. That's where the Indians used to live, man. And then the cowboys and stuff. And they got together. And some of them, like, had some children and stuff. Day and I'll fight.

Not bad, huh? I know. I thought it was like pretty sweet. You just, that just came out of nowhere. And I think I usually work so hard and I'm writing songs. Now I've learned a new concept.

Sometimes you just pick words and let your brain go to work. Yeah, thanks. It's like stimulus. It's like stimulus. You see things and you let the words trigger. It's almost like they're dramatic words, right? A broken heart, a cactus and a full moon.

So what happens in between each one? and you just have to fill it in. Right, because there's stimuli. I got it. They're stimuli and they're like trigger words. So there you go. Yeah, it triggered a hit song right there, I thought. That was great.

Well, I can't wait. I can't, you know, that was beautiful. And remember, folks, this was just on the spot. There was no planning. Kudos to you for your wonderful new work. Wow, thank you. I feel good. I feel good.

I think we should, after the podcast, head out, sing that song together, holding hands. and walk past a graveyard. I do, too. And see what happens? I think even the dead would enjoy what you just laid down there. I think they won't possess us if we sing that song. And I think all trees would stop laughing at us,

because that's a good song. You've changed the world right now, young lady. Now, here we go. This is some lady stuff. Can you tell us about your first period? What's it like? Do you remember it? All girls get them.

Not all girls, but 99%. I know. That's an awkward laugh you're hearing. But where was it? How old were you? Man, it can't be like, there's nothing like cool or funny about that. It's weird, though, but especially for the men listening. See, for you, it's like awkward, weird, but for guys, like the concept of like one day we're just out riding our bikes or wrestling with our buddy and our crotch starts bleeding.

It's like, what? So you've got to share with us. When was it? How old were you? You do remember it, right? I would think every girl would remember her first period. I think I was about 25. Really?

So you were a late dropper, a late bloomer? No, I'm just kidding. Oh, gosh. You want to know the truth? Yes. I don't know, about 14. 14? Okay, that's average, right?

Yeah. Is that a little late? No, no. That's right in the window. That's right in the bloody window. I think if you eat like more McDonald's hamburgers, you can get it as early as 10. Get it early if you have too many shakes and fries in there.

So you're 14. And I know this for a fact, a lot of girls, it happens out of the blue. Like they're wearing white jeans at the mall and all of a sudden, Blanc. Here's old Johnny McPierread. So where were you when the bomb dropped?

Well, yeah. Where were you? I was actually, you know, on a sort of like a you know like a pubescent date no way you're out on a date yeah with a dude who was it wearing like some tight white pants like you said are you serious it's all i've heard so many stories about girls wearing white jeans because when kids are like no way so it really it looked like a scene out of alien or something the new bemo v i porter mastercard is your ticket to more More perks, more points, more flights, more of all the things you want in a travel rewards card, and then some.

Get your ticket to more with the new BMO ViPorter MasterCard and get up to $2,400 in value in your first 13 months. Terms and conditions apply. Visit bemo.com slash ViPorter to learn more. Wow. Yeah, are you going to say? Where was this date? Like, where were you? Who was the kid?

Do you remember the kid? Randy McNamara. Randy Totem pole rackamara? Yeah. So you're with Randy. Where are you? Where are you guys on this pre-pubescent? The gallery.

We're actually ice skating at the gallery. You're ice skating? There's an indoor ice skating ring in the mall. On a big white surface nonetheless. So white jeans on a white surface. Mm-hmm. And you're skating around. Are you holding hands?

Yeah, at some point. Sometimes we were, sometimes we weren't, you know. And then bang. And then bang. Does a raw shock test appear in your crotch area? Yeah, it started showing up and everything. It was really embarrassing. So I had to like throw myself up in the air and then like I fell down on the ice

and I pretended like the skate did it. You pretended you got a skate in the vagina. Yeah. Wow. Brilliant. So you pretended your leg buckled backwards and a scape blade went into your Vajee, and started the blood. Yeah, that was all I could do. I mean, you know.

Wow, that is genius, man. Yeah, I thought so. And was it was, did your date note, a little Johnny T. Quest or whatever his name was? Did he, did he see it? Yeah. He was really concerned. I told him, don't worry about it.

Just to skate in my pussy. You know, come on, right? Yeah, I told him to go get some fries, and I'd be back later, you know. So I sent him up to the food court, which is on the upper level. And I just went and doctored myself up in the bathroom and came back out, met him, you know, he had a big plate of fries. And I just acted like nothing really happened, and I got him really into his fries and everything. Of course, he sort of had these, he kind of jumped back when I, you know, when I poured out the ketchup.

Catch up. Yeah, he kind of freaked out on that one. And I told him it was okay, you know. Yeah. And then I, you know, I distracted him a little bit by throwing French fries down at the skaters below and watching them kind of crash, you know, while they're skated on the French fries. You've changed since you got your period. I don't know you anymore.

You kind of went evil. So wait a minute. You go into the bathroom. When you say dock to yourself, like what do you do? Pad your undies with like Kleenex and paper towels? Yeah. I mean, look, a lot of people. people know this but for those

that don't know this blood comes out like a sense you know under some cold water no it doesn't on white jeans good as gold and if you get to it right away really cold water on it you're fine so basically I was walking around

no longer with blood on the crotch but a lot of water you looked really wet so the kid thought you're just a horny for them everyone in the ball is like look at that horny chick man she's just dripping exactly what what do we rate this show what is a rating on this show is this r or what uh it's life it's lifetime it's like loren holly's coming up after you um now let me ask

you this did it hurt do period like look i'm doing this for the guys we want to know do periods hurt when they had like did you physically you know feel like a twang or a pain or it felt like a kick in the gut does your thing hurt it's like a hum actually a hum like yeah I don't get that what do you mean

like it it's like a humming sort of vibrational feel and so it's you know you start humming and then it turns

it kind of goes into different tones but I thought it hurt I thought girls got pain when they got their periods some do some don't but you didn't no I had the hum

you were just like let's go to the food court I had the hum and the hum and the hum was like hmm hmm Let's go to the food court.

Pass the ketchup. Huh. Maybe it's because, you know, my musical background, I don't know. I guess, man. And everything comes out of me, like, in tones and stuff. Wow. Her farts sound like a 70s pop tune. Great.

Her farts sound like air supply. A butt trumpet. Oh, my God. So scary. All right. Well, thanks for sharing. I mean, you have to ask, have you ever screamed at someone and what's the loudest you've ever screamed at somebody? You know, that's a damn good question.

If I can say, damn, on the show. Yeah, thank you. It's probably right up there with the when was your first period question. That's why this is an award-winning podcast, thank you very much. Podcast. And the award actually came from me. I awarded it a really good podcast. So, but have you, have you ever screamed at someone like just like, I'm talking like a loud like rip and scream.

I haven't. You haven't? I want to, though. You've never just like, I don't know how loud I can scream. If someone was like, say, here, you know, I'll pay you to scream. I'd be, I wouldn't know what to do. You've never been in like a fight with a boyfriend or a lover or a family member and you're just like, Mom up, I ain't you.

You know, like one of those. I would love to do one of those, like, movie screams. Oh, you're talking like a horror movie, like, ah! I would love to do that, but I've never done that. But as far as, like, screaming. I mean more like a verbal scream, like yelling at someone or, you know, screaming at someone. When's the last time I did that? Like, do you remember, like, the biggest and the baddest one you ever did?

Oh. Dang. sure you do what was it this is interesting because i got a good one i got but i want to hear yours or i can go first if you want i was screaming at this eunuch what's a eunuch it's like a you don't know sex wise is a man or is a woman we don't know oh wow yeah and let me tell you and i was screaming at it because it wouldn't get out of the street i was trying to cross the street i was Get out of the way, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it just wouldn't.

And I don't know what it wanted, where it came from, or who it was. But I was just screaming because, you know, I was afraid it's going to get hit or, you know, and I couldn't cross the street. Maybe it didn't know because you were like, sir, get out of the way or, ma'am, would you leave? But you couldn't give it a title. So you were just ambiguously going, get out of the way. And it didn't recognize its title. It didn't know. I think it didn't know who I was talking to, yeah.

I'll tell you my one, and this was kooky. I did mine on purpose, okay? As you know, years ago, a decade ago, I went through like a shitty divorce. I mean, what divorce isn't shitty, right? And I was trying to be a reasonable guy and, you know, deal with issues and, you know, try and, you know, be mellow and be rational and reasonable and try to talk my way through difficult times with my ex, right? And it was one of these situations where nothing I did,

nothing I said, no matter how gently or loving I put anything, it never computed with her. It never got through. It never registered. And I was so frustrated after, you know, months, if not years of dealing with it, that I said, you know what, I'm going to try a different tact. maybe if I scream, like at the top of my lungs, like I'm angry, and I'm not a screamer, but I said, I'm an actor, so I'll just act it.

I'll act it out. I won't really be mad. I'll have to force myself to scream. So I did it. I tried it, and I was like, I screamed at the top of my lungs for about three minutes, like going through a laundry list of all these problems that weren't getting through to her. And she was just like, like transfixed, you know, like just staring. at me like and I was just rage I was scream you didn't do this and why are we doing this

you know that type of thing and in the end she got turned on it still didn't know I wish at the end she's it still didn't register but I found out about like two days later my neighbors who live next door it was so loud they were like hey dude is everything okay like we heard you screaming the other day and we were like three seconds away from calling the police because it was outrageous and I was like oh my god like I just did it

I screamed for effectiveness I wasn't even mad I was faking the whole thing I was just but I knew

I could at least raise my voice and pretend I looked angry wow and it was just an exercise in futility

because it didn't change anything she was like kind of oh wow this guy's screaming and I thought it might

knock her off the needle you know and make her go holy shit he's upset look at this passion

look at this this frustration i've got to i've got to do something but no lost cause so that's that was my biggest screaming fit i like this story you do yeah why i think it made you horny yeah no how dare you think i'm about down my period i think it's a good story it's a good story i mean sometimes you got to do extreme things in relationships to try and find answers and make them work and I was just spinning my wheels. We're getting nowhere. I'm like, what can I do that's different that might have an element of surprise

and maybe, like, in essence, like, metaphorically slap her across the face and make her see what was happening, but nothing. I like how it involved so many people, including the earth, wind, and sky, and all the elements and the neighbors. Neighbors, yeah. And everybody, you got in on it, you know what I mean? I'm glad they didn't call the police. police is the bit of a bit, yeah, I was just acting.

Yeah, you could, yeah, yeah. But I really was, I mean, I planned it. I almost wrote a letter before I did it because I knew my wife would never believe it. And I thought, I'm going to write a letter, seal it in an envelope and give it to her afterwards and say, look, just so you know, I planned this whole screaming thing. It was, it was an exercise to try and, you know, jar something within you to, to help you see, to hear me because you're not, you're not, you're not. you're not absorbing any other approach I take. Yeah. Or if you are absorbing it, you're ignoring it.

You're not like dealing with it, at least in a way that I thought was appropriate, and who am I? You know, everyone's got their own thing. So there you go. You're HW. I'm HW, and I'm single. Thanks.

Oh, good screaming. Here's a quickie. This is a yes or no answer. We do this with every guest. Yes or no. Or you can answer. Actually, here you've got to answer with a word. Do kangaroos pouches smell like bacon, pine trees, or Pittsburgh?

Bacon, pine trees, or Pittsburgh? Yeah, kangaroo's pouch. Bacon, of course. Yeah, right, correct. It's amazing how often everyone's correct with that. Good one. Why do people love love songs? You write them, you sing them.

You're the one I should ask. People love, love songs. Why? People love, love. And love songs are about... Love. So they love love. Yeah.

Wow. It's that simple. Yeah. God. I thought it would be like much deeper, but you're right. There's not much more you can say about it. People love, love. Can't help, but love, love, love.

Loving love is like lovely, you know. It's a lovely thing. Wow. All right, here we go. This is another kind of me tapping into your creative, poetic, song-filled mind, okay? This time it's not a song. You don't have to sing. This is our last bit right here, okay?

This is a scene. I'm going to start the scene. It's a little bit of a story. And when I point to you, you're going to finish it. You're going to finish it. It doesn't have to be long. It could be a sentence, it could be three minutes, it can be half a minute. You can finish it any way you want.

I'm going to read the beginning. You get to end it. You all set? Yeah. Here we go. Sarah drove through the night with a fury in her eyes. She knew there was no going back. The tears started to come, and she knew everything Jim said was true.

But now it was her turn. and tonight she was going to dot dot dot drive to the cemetery where she heard that barbara was buried there she went and then she remembered the old wives tale i better hold my breath or barbara's going to get in and if barbara gets in then uh what's his name tom tom bill bob is going to really get in up. Jim. Jim, yeah. Maybe she, I think she had a bunch of lovers is what I'm hearing now. Keep going on. So Jim, Jim's going to find out. And if he finds out that Barbara's in Sarah's body, well, then it's going to be the Monage Antois

he was always waiting for. So she started to go against that. Then she thought, wow, you know, this could be something interesting. So she goes in there and she starts breathing really heavy, trying to breathe as much and fast. as she could so that, you know, Barbara would, like, enter her spirit and everything, and she could go back to gym and see what would happen, you know, turn the tape recorder's on.

So anyways, so she was driving out there and everything. Then she got lost, and she got lost, and then she was like, well, maybe I have to take a plane or something, you know, to get to the cemetery, so she ditched the car, and she went to the airport. And then she was at the airport. What happened? there was a layover. Oh, no, not that. So she tried to lie in one of those uncomfortable bench seats,

whatever, at the airport, waiting for a plane to take off. And lo and behold, there's Lauren Hutton. I mean... You mean Lauren Hawley, obviously, yeah. Maybe Lauren Holly was with Lauren Hutton. And I think I see Timothy Hutton in the background, too, the award-winning actor. That's what I'm saying.

Wow. Right, exactly. Lauren Hawley and Lauren Hut and Timothy Hunt were both there behind her with guns. And maybe there was a pizza hut there too. There was a pizza hut. Wow. So, yeah, and then it got really gnarly. And that's the end? That's great.

I love the way it ended. And then it got really gnarly. There's a sequel. There's a sequel. Well, that sequel will have to wait until the next time because that ending, it brings us to the ending. of our show. So sad, but what a great ending. Wow. I like to leave it, you know, people hang in a little bit. Leave it hanging. Yeah. Hang loose. Unbelievable. Well, hey, give us, we've been talking with Sterling Meyer. Unbelievable lot. Revealing conversation, music, poetry, periods, huttons, everything. Let's get your website one more time for the gang. It's sterlingmiremusic.com. And also, um, If you go on there, you'll see on one of the pages there, I can't remember which one, but you also can see like a little link to the reel where I'm hosting for an HBO special,

and I'm interviewing Sammy Hagar and Blue Oyster Colt and, you know, Billy Cox from Jimmy Hendrith's experience and some of the Who members and stuff. You can check it out. It's fun. Check it out. Look around, all kinds of great stuff at the site, and listen to her music. and hey what can we say thanks for being here thank you hw unbelievable let's let's get out of here we're going to go get some brand new matching white jeans and it's been a blast and until next time

from the food court chicken chowmaine baby Thank you.