The Harland Highway - 452: YOU TUBES MOST WATCHED VIDEO, the Middle East.

Episode Date: December 3, 2012

The crisis in the Middle East is discussed, You Tube's most watched video, the Korean news, romantic letters from Samuel E. Quoke. Tingling in my ringwormling!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

E.T. Phone Dominoes. Yeah, okay, E.T. You phone Dominoes. I've got a podcast to do. Welcome, everybody. It's Harland Williams here on the Harland Highway. That's the sexy voice. Great to have you here. Hope you're doing great. I hope you're doing groovy. Welcome to the 70s. Man, that's a real mind-bender. What a show we have today. Are you kidding me? uh we're going to be talking about so many things um some silly some serious um we're going to be discussing uh the problems of the middle east the conflict between all the warring countries over there a little bit of thought on that um we're going to be talking about the most watched video on youtube over 800 million views on uh on this phenomenal nominal video, we'll be dissecting that, little dilly. Samuel E. Quoak will be dropping by to read some Christmas romantic letters.

I don't like this guy, but what am I going to do? I'm just the pony here. And then we're going to check in with the Korean news and find out what's going on in Korea. All that and so much more right here on the Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway. All right, let's get this sucker going, huh? You're causing a major disturbance on my time. It's the Harland Highway.

What's up, Bra? If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it our time? I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing? You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. This is your fucking wake-up comment.

You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harland Williams. In 30 seconds, you'll be dead. I'll blow this place up and be home in time for cornflakes. Oh yeah, here it is. Wumpum Kangam-Stuy. Step right up for some wumpum-cambom-sty. That sounds like you do when you beat the crap out of someone. You come over here, I'm going to wump you Camden star, boy.

I'm a wump you-cand-stah right upside your head. So as if you haven't heard this enough, you might be going, oh, God, please don't play this song, please. But we have to talk about it because there's a lot of cultural, significance to this song. At the time I was looking at this, it was up to about 830 million views on YouTube. Okay, now by the time you actually go listen to this,

I won't be surprised if it's at 1 billion views or more. Okay? And here's why I think it's culturally significant, because it represents a bit of a pop culture shift. All right, we've heard about cultural shifts, but not pop culture shifts. It's rare that a foreign country with a language outside of English, does the United States or the English-speaking world

adopt and absorb things they don't have. understand um and here comes this a kind of uh you know chubby korean guy spy or phi or whatever his name is the guy who sings this song and uh 90% of it's in korean and uh you know the rest of it's in i think it's just the chorus like oh yeah sexy lady wumpum come bha What's interesting to me is, you know, the United States or the UK, sometimes Australia, sometimes Canada, seem to be the leaders in, you know, creating pop culture, creating trends, creating, you know, pop art. And all of a sudden here's his little country of Korea. and this guy comes out of there singing in Korean and the whole world's turned on to this guy

and it's kind of interesting and if you watch the video for this song even though it borrows from you know all the American rock videos that were started in the 80s and onwards there's also stuff that's kind of uniquely that Korean look like the you know the flashy colors and some of the wardrobes and some of the attitude some of some of the Asian flair that you don't get over

here and there's something kind of neat and interesting and I dare say exciting about it if you want to watch the video just type into YouTube gang gangland style or whatever it is And you should get there. But it made me think, wow, you know, maybe the long-held dominance over the Hollywood pop culture, you know, phase or craze or whatever you want to call it, that, you know, the United States and English-speaking countries have kind of owned and dominated, maybe that's shifting. just like you see a lot of other things shifting in the world, especially with China as an emerging, growing market. You're seeing economies change. You're seeing superpowers change.

You're seeing militaries change. And it kind of hits close to home when you go, wait a minute. Now they're taking pop culture, other cultures, other countries, are somehow, you know, taking over what we've always produced the best. It's a little bit scary, not in an end-of-the-world way, but it's like, you know, I always felt like that's the one thing that, you know, no one would ever be able to capitalize better than North America is pop culture and music and bands and videos

and acting and movies. but all that stuff seems to be shifting a little now. It's like America doesn't really have a stronghold on all that anymore. And this song is definite proof of the power of social media and the way that the world has more exposure to the United States and North America and English-speaking countries more than ever. Whereas before, you know, those countries always got the trickle-down effect from our movies and our singers and things like that. But when did we ever hear of a Korean singer or a Chinese pop star or an East Indian actress or, you know what I mean?

But it feels like that social media, YouTube and Facebook, it's starting to shrink everything down where now everyone seems to have a shot. And I find that interesting. So over 800 million views, I mean, right when I was listening to this, it was like at about 820, 25 million views. So I'm guessing now it's up inching up near the billion mark or more. And think about it. The guy who had the highest number of, of hits on YouTube was Justin Bieber, my homeboy from Canada.

He was at like the 800 million mark for one of his songs. I don't know what it is. But now this guy, this guy from the middle of nowhere in Korea, suddenly he's dominating. He's blown past Justin Bieber. And you got to admit, it's a fun, poppy kind of oddball video song. it definitely gets your your uh your toes tapping your heart beating and uh if you watch the video the guy doesn't take himself all that seriously which is kind of neat you know it's like nowadays

a lot of uh you know american and british and canadian bands i find they can be a little bit pretentious a little bit predictable uh a lot of them nowadays seem to have the same dance moves and the same sound and the same, you know, they almost seem like they're different variations on the same theme, and this guy comes out of nowhere with his own look and his own sound and his own attitude, and, you know, it just goes to show you. There's something be said for, you know, having your own vision and not running with the pack.

So whether you like it or not, this guy, you know, let's break it down this way. If he gets one billion views, there's just over 7 billion people on the planet. Okay? And this song's only been kicking around for a couple of months, maybe three, four months, if that. So if he gets like 1 billion people to watch this video and there's only 7 billion of us, that's quite a feat, okay? that's quite a bunch of feet moving and dancing all right so there you go a little update on the gangam sty phenomenon and uh let's go out with a little more of it uh and you know hopefully it gets your toes tapping and uh and there you go look out world look out world everything is a change in

Upon Gundam style Gundam style Oh Um Gondom star Oh Oh Oh oh

Oh Ohpang Gondam style Um Come down Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh sexy lady Oh Oh Oh Oh oh Oh sexy lady

Oh, oh, oh, oh. You're up, and then on, baby, baby, I'm a man, I'm a little a man, that's a man

baby, baby, I'm more just a lot of A man, Opaan, Gangam style. Hey, sexy lady

Oh, oh, op, op, op, O'p, O'p, stop. Hey, sexy lady. Hop, op, op, op, oh, oh. Opangangam style.

Yes, wumpum, blah, blah, blah. And speaking of sexy lady, what's this, Roger? What? Okay, Roger just handed me a note here. We want to bring in Samuel E. Quack. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. what do you mean we don't want

Samuel E. Quok in here reading his letters it's the holidays and we have to great great this show was going good I was trying to make an interesting point about cultures and art and now this idiot's coming in

okay fine oh god all right well let's get it over with Roger this guy that we have this guy He's named Samuel E. Quowke, and he's a wordsmith, he's a poet, he writes romance, and I guess because we were talking to the lyrics in this song refer to a sexy lady, now they want Samuel E. Quout to come in and read some of his romantic writings. And I've got to tell you, something's off with this guy, okay?

I'll give it to you. He's a wordsmith, but something is, His love stories seem to take odd twists and turns. He's here? Oh, God. All right. Let him get him in here. Yet send him in, the idiot. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen, Samuel E. Quowke, reading some of his romantic letters.

How are you today, Quowke? It's Samuel E. Quirk, thank you very much. All right, Samuel E. Quowke. Thank you very much. very much. Well, why are you here? They asked me to read some of my romantic letters for the holiday season. Okay, romantic letters for the holiday season.

I'm sure you have some dillies. I don't know what that word means. Dilly! I've never heard that word. Dilly, like a real winner, a real... I don't connect the dots. Just read your letter, Quowke. Samuel E. Quoak. Do you mind?

Samuel E. Quowke. Why are you raising your voice? Just because you're a little creepy, okay? I resent that. All right, what are you reading? I'm reading a romantic letter for the holiday season. Thank you very much. Okay, get it over with.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. read it thank you very much again thank you very much read your letter hey everybody who wants to have better sex no yes yes the answer is yes you always want to have better sex that's what you want it to be better not worse trust me and adam and eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping and more than that adam and eve wants to make your life easy they offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping on your entire order.

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Twizzlers, keep the fun going. Are you done? I'm unfolding my letter. Do you mind? Hurry up. How long is this letter? Do you mind? Hurry up. Stop it. I'm finished. Read your letter so I can get on with my podcast. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. May I continue?

you please. You haven't even started yet. May I begin? Yes, I've been asking you too. Thank you very much. Stop it! Read! Thank you. Dear Belinda, another holiday season is upon us. The gentle snowflakes drift from the sky of the head, leaving a white canopy across the farmlands, the fields, the hilltops, the moon shining, leaving a white iridescent glow all around, twinkling, twinkling lights far up above, and inside the glow of a warm fire, you and I dressing the Christmas tree,

and your long flowing gown and your beautiful hair pinned up in the back, your rosy red cheeks, the look of a child in your eyes, full of holiday cheer and anticipation. You helped me as we wandered around the Christmas tree, placing candles and Christmas bulbs in the branches. And as you stood there as I went to fetch a hot chocolate for us, a nice warm cocoa. A short circuit in the electrical cord, a spark spewing into the tree, the dry leaves and pine needles igniting instantaneously. Of course, some of the flames splashed upon your long, flowing gown, and within seconds your body was on fire.

I came back from the pantry with the warm cocoa, and you stood there like a blazing, bonfire, screams, barely getting through the wall of flames that engulfed your flesh, this searing smell of burnt hair and toner. Stop it! Do you mind? What was that? I'm reading a romantic letter, do you mind for the holidays?

Are you telling me, who was it? Belinda. Belinda's standing by the tree. You go get some hot chocolate, that's correct. And well, you're getting your hot chocolate guy, Samuel E. Quack, thank you. Well, you're getting your cocoa hit. There's a short circuit in the wire, and a spark flies onto this chick? Yes, she went up in flames. Combustible.

I know how it works. Good Lord. Do you mind if I finish my romantic letter, please? How is this romantic? Maybe if you'd sit and listen, you'd understand. Go ahead. Sway me, guy. Thank you very much.

I threw the hot cocoa on you as you burned in the living room. Forgetting how hot the cocoa was, I thought I'd douse you with the liquid chocolate, but it burned you even further. Chocolate burning your eyes. Finally, the flames some sense. and you stood there, charcoal black, like a mummy that had been dragged through the mud. I stood there, admiring your graceful poise, your posture, the curvature of your hips. But before I could compliment you, you crumbled to the floor in a pile of ashes.

What, hold on? Do you mind? What do you mean she crumbled to the floor? She crumbled to the floor in a pile of gorgeous ashes. Gorgeous ashes, huh? Do you mind, please? Yes, I mind. You got her by the Christmas tree

and she crumbles to the ground. Do you mind? Hurry up and finish, I want you out of here. Thank you very much. I grabbed the broomstick and the pail and I swept you up quickly. I had your body parts burnt and shard in the bucket, and I ran outside and threw them in the snow, hoping I could cool you down,

but it was of no avail the night sparrows flocked from the sky and started picking over your remains. I found some glue in the living room, and I tried to patch you back together, but a giant cannonball smashed through the wall and blew you to smithereens all over again. I tried to glue you together one more time and a giant B-52 bomber from World War II dropped a nuclear warhead on your cracked, crinkled face. All right! Do you mind?

Get out of here, dude. What the hell is wrong? A cannonball? That's right. Sometimes they miss their targets and fly through walls. Get out. A B-52. bomber, huh? That's right, a mushroom cloud on Christmas. Get out!

I'll never forget how your charred remains. I used them as war paint. I picked up the black charred stubs that were your bones and painted my face, ready to do bad. Get out! An idiot. You know what, let's, Roger, get me out of here. Let's do the Korean news. Yeah, but put on the Korean news. I'm going to clear my head. Naman drama and a movie DVDs

Bukhineh area and in the U.S. in the U.S.S. in the U.S.N.A. Khammeda U.N.N.A.,

in Hanyan-N.Amband in the U.S. television-passed see-to-see, so that the President-Termen meeting-Sik said to

back-down sent to back-sogien said. So-Henjjjjjj. Oh, so true. So true. unbelievable yeah i totally agree with that by the way i mean that that guy nailed it perfect i wish our newscasters were as insightful and on the money as these guys just i mean i if i didn't

have korean news i don't know where i'd get my news from um and speaking of news man i mean we got to talk about it, the whole Middle East, the Israel, the Palestinians, the bombings, the fightings, the killings, the death. It is so frustrating to watch that scenario unfold yet again. I mean, you know, it's just, it's horrible. It's horrible because imagine living your life in fear, always having to look over your shoulder. always wondering. And I'm not going to pull a side here. I'm not going to pull a Palestinian side or Israeli side

because, you know, it's not for me to make that decision. You know, first of all, I'm not well enough informed to understand all the intricacies of the situation. So I'm scaling away the politics and the religion And what I'm talking about is human beings, people, people that bleed the same, people that dream the same. And to live in a free country like the United States and Canada and to look over there and see the never-ending turmoil, the never-ending strife, the never-ending battling and the evil and the deception and the violence, it's just, It's horrible, man. It's hard to see.

And you think to yourself, you know, one theory might be, you know what? Enough of the back and forth. Why don't you guys just have it out? Why doesn't that whole region just have it out? You know, some days you think that it's like, have it out go all the way to the walls. Fight till the last man's standing. and whoever wins, wins, and that's it.

You know what I mean? It's like it happened here in the United States. It was called the Civil War. There were two opposing sides within the same borders. The north and the south went at it, and they had it out until someone, there was the last man standing, and the other people had to adapt.

And it sounds like, weird to say, but the will of the victors was forced upon the losers, and they had to adapt. You know, it happened in Rwanda. I've been to the country of Rwanda in Africa, and back in the, I think it was in the 80s, where the Tsutsu tribe and one of the other tribes, I can't remember who it was, but, you know, this was in the 80s. These people went at each other with machetes. They had it out. There were bodies.

There were corpses floating down the rivers. Thousands of human corpses floating down the rivers. They had it out. And I went to Rwanda, I don't know, five, six years ago. And interestingly enough, the region has totally calmed down. It's stabilized. and you are forbidden by law to mention the names of the tribes. You have to call everyone within Rwanda Rwandans

because it's the only way to maintain the peace. They equalized everybody. They took away the tribal labels. And guess what? Society's working over there. There's no more machete attacks. people have joined together, people have become one. And you have to figure as generations go on

and the violence and the tribal labels start to get older and fade away, the new generations will just adapt to the fact that they're Rwandans. And a similar situation in Germany, East Germany and West Germany, for decades there were. was the Berlin Wall. It divided the peoples. They were untrusting, and there was hatred towards each other. And it was ridiculous.

But then, in the 90s, the wall comes down, and they all assimilated, and now they're just Germans. It's Germany. You look at Korea, speaking of the news, South Korea, North Korea, the same people divided. Now, let's not confuse Palestinians with Israelis. It's two different religions, two different sects of people.

It's not like, you know, the Palestinians and the Israelis are the same in terms of, you know, what they worship and the foundation of the religion. That's a whole different thing. But still, man, it's like somebody's got to get the common sense to knock the walls down. When I say walls, I've been to Israel, too. There are walls between Israel and its neighboring countries. There's a lot of walls. There are long, long, long walls with armed guards on them.

And you say to me and go, well, Harlan, they can't have it out. What's wrong with you? That's violent and people are going to die. And that's a schoolyard bully mentality. Well, okay, tell me what the alternative is. What are they doing right now? What have they been doing for the last hundred years? It's been nothing but schoolyard bully mentality.

They're fighting over tracks of land. They're launching bombs into each other's countries. They're committing acts of terrorism. They're blowing up buses. They're killing them. civilians. Every year. Every year they die. Children, women, men, terrorists, whoever they are, they're people, they're dying. So how long do you just keep lobbing it back and forth and people are living in terror? People are living in fear. People can't function fully. Pick the state

you're living in, and imagine that you lived in, you know, let's say you lived in, you know, Nevada. And you were bordering with Colorado or Utah or Arizona. And you were constantly worrying about bombs flying over into your state and randomly killing people or a bus blowing up or someone blowing up a disco. Is that a better way of life to have people dying throughout the year and being terrified and never knowing when they're going to get it in the back? And I'm talking about both sides here. Or is it better just to say, you know what, you guys, everybody line up on the battlefield, go at it,

clean the plate for once and for all. and let's get over this BS and leave all your issues out on the battlefield and blood will be spilled unfortunately that's the way humanity works but blood is already being spilled that's my point it's happening every day even when they're not at war

and resentment and hatred and suspicion is building every day even when there's no bombs flying or bullets flying or terror as bombs going off. There's negative energy towards other human beings just swirling around. And it just keeps going and going and going,

and it's their way of life. And it's like, good Lord, man, settle this. And yeah, a lot of people could die. But a lot of people have already died. And it's like they're dying a slow bleeding death. It's like a guy who gets a shrapnel wound. He's laying on the side of the road, and he's slowly bleeding out.

That's what these two countries are doing. They're slowly killing their citizens. Their society is dying. They're living in a world where you shouldn't have to live. And who's to blame? I don't know. Do you know? Does anyone listening know?

Who said what? He said, she said. And I'm sure there's people listening who think they have the answer. Oh, well, it was these guys. Or the Palestinians did wrong to the Jews, or the Jews stole the land of the Palestinians. You can go back and forth forever. That's what I'm saying, settle it.

It's like a high school fight. It's like these two guys keep eyeing each other in the hallway at their lockers. They keep pushing each other in the hallway. They're tripping each other. They're shooting spitballs at each other. You know what? Meet in the schoolyard and have it out. Have it out.

Settle it and move on. But this conflict in the Middle East, and it's also other areas of the Middle East. You know, Egypt and Syria and Turkey gets involved sometimes, and all of it's just such a mess. and what I'm saying here isn't maybe the answer but oh there's days when you just wish they would just have it the hell out civil war it whatever or or it's you know somehow do it diplomatically but that's what they've been trying it just it isn't working everything's

too deep feelings religions belief like it's so deep and so I'm not saying what I'm saying is right or accurate I'm just saying it's a frustration and there's days where you go God just have it out or maybe it is the answer just have it out I don't know and I'm not saying eradicate a whole country or a whole people I'm saying do battle say everything you have to say get it out and move on and it's horrible that you have to do that through war but look around look at the history of

humankind look at look at mankind look at the shape of the world most conflicts are finally resolved by an all-out war because they exhaust themselves there's nothing left the rules are laid down and people move on it's a horrific uh it's a horrific uh it's a a horrific thing to reference, but look at Japan and the United States. It's like, okay, you want to play, let's play, boom. This is the new order, guys. Welcome to it. And you know what?

The Japanese, they succumbed. They live their life. They live in their country. They do their thing, but they had to be settled down. They went on a rampage They thought they could do things their way And the U.S. Had to put an end to that schoolyard fight

And sadly a lot of people died It's horrible But think about it probably Because of all those people dying That horrible sacrifice The rest of that society got to live Had Japan stayed embattled in war for the next 50, 60, 70 years with the rest of the world, with the United States,

I'm sure the body count would have climbed even higher than the toll that was taken with the nuclear bombs being dropped. Horrible. You hate to think of that, but it shook things up, it settled things down, and now Japan is a thriving, wonderful country that we're actually great friends with. And they probably went, you know what? We were like that mental kid, that hyperactive kid that couldn't get his riddlin. We were going nuts. We were attacking

the world. We attacked the United States of America. We paid a price. What the hell were we thinking? Boom. And you know, is there resentments over there? Is there people that still cling to stuff? Probably.

But overall, you know the world kind of fell into place people are living harmoniously so it's not easy but i'm just tired of seeing kids being pulled away in body bags and you know children with their limbs blowing off and and people laying dead in the street and a pile of blood with a chunk of concrete on their neck and buses being blown up and people crying and what the hell kind of life is that man and all the diplomacy and all the all the other countries trying to step in and broker peace deals how's that going for you none of it's worked it's like you can put a band-aid on it for a few months but here we go again it's too deep

so i don't know i get frustrated i hate to see it but it's just like when When's it going to end? How's it going to end? I guess we'll have to see, man. We'll have to see. And that's it, man. We're going to end the show with those thoughts to ponder. And keep in mind, I'm not pulling aside here.

Like, people get enraged. They're like, how dare you talk about the Jews like that? Or how dare you talk about the Palestinian? Uh-uh. This is just about resolving differences. I don't care if it's blacks and whites, French and English. You know, I'm not talking about who the people are. I'm talking about the fact that they're people,

they're people in conflict and it needs to stop. And so does this podcast, because I've been rambling. You're probably going, Jesus, man, enough. Bring back the Korean news. Okay, well, I'll do you one better. I'll bring you back some Korean stuff. How about this player? Oh, that felt good to get that Korean out of my system.

Oh, yeah. Parte. Well, that's the end of the show, folks. Hope you had a good time. Hope you had a good time. And let's reconvene. Do you mind me throw on that? That's a cool word.

I'd like to reconvene, Iris. Oh, you naughty man. Ow! Let's reconven. Thursday for our next Harland Highway podcast. And I hope you had a good time. Don't forget to check out all things comedy,

the new podcast hub, where you'll find my show there, nestled in amongst a bunch of other really funny comedy podcast. The new podcast Comedy Network, All Things Comedy.com. Check there. that out. Check out Harlan Williams.com

and what else can I tell you? Join my Twitter account at Harland Williams. Check out our Facebook page where you can find me at the official Harlem Williams' Facebook page. You can

correspond with other pavement pounders. And yes, we have a new episode of the cock, the ass, and the pussy up on my YouTube page. So check that out. And it's not what you think. The cock, the ass, and the pussy

is an original animated cartoon that I do featuring a donkey, a rooster, and a cat. The cock, the ass, and the pussy. And they are in a new adventure. So check that out on my YouTube channel. And a lot of fun there. Silly, silly cartoons. And what else?

Don't forget my free app, harlandapp.com. If you want some crazy ringtones from all the characters we do on the podcast here, Cinnamon Boy and, oh, all of them, Dr. Ascott, Debbie Timer. It's a free app, Harlandapp.com. And go there and get your free. and get some ringtones and stuff like that. And don't forget my last announcement here coming out, January 15th, my brand new stand-up comedy special called Harlan Williams,

A Force of Nature, where believe it or not, I shot my special in the middle of the desert high on a hill in the scorching sun. It's pretty wild. so keep that in mind as the new year rolls in and that's it man we are done and as they say in korea until next time chicken chalman baby Thank you.