The Harland Highway - 486: PENIS SIZE... does it matter?

Episode Date: April 22, 2013

The research is in about women's attraction to penis size, wait till you hear the results, crazy x-ray madness with Harland's doctor, and small, tender moments in life. Sourcream my dream!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Haley, highly, ho. It's the Harland Highway, and off we go. Hey, guys, it's me, Harlem Williams. How are you? How are you? You doing okay? Welcome to the show. Welcome to the podcast. I'm running a little bit of a cold, as you can hear. But still, don't let it deter you. This still will be a great phleg-free show. I hope. Because today we are talking about penis size. This is an important topic for men and women. Scientists have done some research about penis size.

And I'm going to be talking about the results. So get ready. Okay? I'm also going to be talking about going to the doctor. I had a very strange, intimate moment at my doctor's office When I went in for my physical, it was kind of weird, kind of awkward, kind of strange, but it happened. So I'm going to get into that, share that wacky moment with you. And then something I'm going to share with you, life's small pleasures, how that unexpected moments in life can pop up anywhere that can put a smile on your face.

I had a moment that happened in a mall. I'll share it with you on the always pleasurable Harland. Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway. All right, let's get this sucker going, huh? You're causing a major disturbance on my time. It's the Harland Highway. What's up, Brock?

If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it our time? I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing? You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. This is your fucking wake. A call, man.

You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harland Williams. In 30 seconds, you'll be dead. I'll blow this place up and be home in time for cornflakes. Okay, so I did it. Don't like it, but had to do it. Went in for my physical, my yearly physical, or in my case, my every seven-year-year physical. And I'm not going to talk about taking the blood. I've already talked about that.

You know, I'm a fainter. I don't do good with the blood. But I didn't faint, just so you know, I did not faint. But what they did do is they took an x-ray of my lungs inside my chest. Yeah, okay, Harlan, we get it. Your lungs are inside your chest. Yeah, makes sense. Most of us have them there, idiot.

And what was weird is the guy took the x-ray and then he's like, come on in here, man. Let me show you what I got. And now I'm in this, like, dark little room with a computer screen and an x-ray technician. And together we're sitting there in this romantic mood lighting staring inside of me. It was very peculiar. he's like look there's your stomach and there's your there's your lungs oh your lungs look really good nice and clear there's your ribs there's your neck there's your esophagus and i'm just like god i mean you don't even have people don't have sex that's as intimate as that you know

and here's here i am with a guy the dude a male nurse well not a nurse he's like an x-ray tech skilled guy and i'm standing in this dimly lit room and we're looking deep inside of me i mean isn't this stuff i should be sharing with a with a woman with with a with my love of my life

Was it wrong that me and the x-ray tech started slow dancing in the glow of my x-ray in the little room? Is that inappropriate? I can't tell you it's very weird. Look at your spine. There's your spine. Looks good. And they made me like hold my arms out to my sides when they took the x-ray. So there's my scapulas like going to work.

And I'm sitting there. I actually had this thought. This is so how bizarre it is. I'm going, man, look at my scapulas, man. Oh, I got me some fine-ass scapulas right there. I should be a scapula model. You know, there's like hand models and foot models. You know, finger models.

I should be a scapula model. I got some, oh, I can boast about my scapulose. I don't know what you got. I don't even know if you've seen your scapulas. I've seen mine. I've seen mine, and they are hot. They are 10 out of 10, baby. But I tell you, it's weird.

It's weird you're looking at it with another guy. It's weird you're looking inside your body. I mean, when God created man, or if we evolved, whatever you believe. when all the creatures were made I don't think ever there was a creature made where whoever made the grand design went and this creature will be able to look right inside itself

this creature will be able to see its organs well it's still alive I mean it's just a bizarre thing talk about ingenuity talk about technology Forget about a cell phone. I mean, and this whole process took all of like two minutes. Okay, in the old days, I think they used to like take x-rays and send them away to a lab.

This guy literally took a shot of my torso. And two minutes later, we were in the viewing room, slow dancing, looking looking at my innards it was very weird should I be uncomfortable is this overly intimate should this guy at least take me to a ball game first or out to Olive Garden

maybe a scallop fest on and red lobster I mean should there be some kind of emotional connection before I let you look into my body sir it was very weird and as you can hear i have a little bit of a cold so the good news is my lungs looked very clear but there's a few little like spidery veins where he goes oh you must have like uh looks like some phleg in here you might it looks like you have a bit of a cold i i go yes i do yes i do and uh there i was looking at my phleg cold

Oh, nothing like waking up in the morning and looking at the phlegm inside your body. And I got to be honest, I was a little apprehensive to look at my lungs because sadly, my uncle Tom, my dad's brother, who I loved dearly, and I was a great man. He just died of lung cancer about three quarters of a year ago. and he was one of these guys that was in good health and he went in for a check-up and they did this x-ray and all of a sudden there was all these black dots on his lungs and you know his lungs looked like 101 Dalmatians it's everything there but the Disney logo

and once you got that man it's hard to come back and unfortunately my uncle Tom did not come R-I-P. So there's a whole bunch of different thoughts and emotions going on when you go in for this stuff. And I don't know, maybe they'll give me a picture of it. Maybe I'll share it with you guys. How many of you raise your hands?

Raise your scapula if you'd like to see inside of Harland. And when I say that, I mean, in my chest, okay, you dirty. So there you go. That's my little story. I should be going. I've got a date with the X-ray tech. He's going to look inside my head later. See if there's anything there.

Probably just one big black hole in there. So there you go. Modern medical, technical. And by the way, go get your physical if you haven't had it done. It's horrible. I hate doing it. I hate going to the doctor. There's nothing I dread more than having blood work done.

But you got to do it, man. It could be the difference between living and dying. And, uh, ugh. So this is my week to do all that. dentist, doctor, x-rays, blood work, all that stuff. I'm just like, this is like health week. So far, so good. I'll keep you posted.

I got to go buy a Kenny G. CD so I can finish my dance. Okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you, Kenny G. The dance is over. Kenny. Thank you.

Thank you. You can leave. But I won't leave the medical arena. I won't leave the arena of the human anatomy because hold on to your horsehogs, gentlemen. This may or may not be good news what I'm about to tell you. So, you know, get ready. science proves women like men can you figure it out with bigger penises oh boy guys how many of

you guys just like had a little twinge had a little like baby seizure um yeah that they've done They've done some research now, some conclusive research, and it's not good. A study released today in the National Academy of Sciences says that women are attracted to penises and, is this any surprise, the bigger, the better? Okay. Penis size does affect attractiveness, said the lead off author of the study. past research has seemed to indicate that women as a group are drawn to larger male members. But those results have always been disputed as sexist or scientifically flawed or both. And by the way, who came up with the word member?

Okay, I'm a member of Netflix. Okay? I'm a member of a gym. that's that's that's that's where members should start and stop I don't want anyone ever referring to my my meatloaf as a member guys have you ever had a woman say hey baby pull the member out let's have some fun no get rid of that word please member members members only

So this team of researchers at the Australian National University designed an experiment in hopes of settling all this controversy, whether it was sexist or, you know, flawed, scientifically flawed. So what they did is they created 49 unique computer-generated nude, life-size male figures. Each figure varied in three traits, height, shoulder hip ratio, and flaccid penis size. Again, another word, can we get rid of flaccid? Just together, flaccid member.

It sounds like a bad canoe team or something, or a rowing team. I say, are we going rowing this morning, Stephen? Yes, of course we are. We're all members of the flaccid rowing team. So the researchers displayed all the figures to 105 Australian women with an average age of 26 years old. The women who are not told which traits were varied

were asked to rate the attractiveness of the figures as sexual partners on a scale of 1 to 7. The women were placed alone in a room, and the responses were anonymous. So wait a minute, maybe this is just, maybe just Australian women like a big summer culbasa. Maybe they should have mixed it up a bit. Put in some Asian women, some African American women,

some Eskimo women. so anyways in past the studies have shown women prefer tall men with broad shoulders and narrow hips like an Olympic swimmer like Michael Phelps you know what that guy does have broad shoulders and slim hips but he looks like a bit of a doofus um so when the research you controlled for those variables it turned out that the penis side overall length and girth was about as important as stature. As you increase the penis size, the amount of attractiveness scores get bigger. In a linear fashion, the researcher explained, until 7.6 centimeters or 3 inches. After 3 inches, attractiveness still increased but in smaller increments.

Wow. Says the women also spent more time gazing at the generously endowed. Okay, endowed. Can we get rid of that? That word sound... You ever see Beaver to Cleaver? Leave it to Beaver. The father's name, I think, was Hugh Dow.

The Beaver Cleaver's father in that old TV show. It sounds a lot like Endowed. So this was a sign that women liked looking at bigger penises as opposed to smaller penises. Women with a greater body mass index held stronger preferences for big penises. And size was most critical in tall men. They suggested maybe because a taller guy must have a disproportionately larger penis to sort of make it clear he's a down. They say some have argued that penis size

is driven by a body-obsessed culture and porn saturation. But the researchers say, these guys have conducted studies on orgasm and penis size, they say there might be some like, evolutionary motivation at work here. So I don't know. But, you know, is this any surprise? I mean, should we do a study to see

of most men like big breasts over little breasts? I mean, come on, man. Look, if I'm going to be graphic and honest here, You've got to figure a woman's private area is inverted. It's designed to be filled. And probably the more you stress it, the more you stretch it, the more friction is created, the more all the nerve endings and erogenous zones and everything is touching and causing friction and firing on all cylinders.

as opposed to something little in there that you're not even sure it's in there. So I don't know if this was just kind of a waste of time, but it sounds like they've finally figured it out. Gee, women like bigger penises as opposed to smaller ones. So, Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex?

No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. All will be packaged and sent discreet. for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adameneve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast, so be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun.

Don't throw your back out. And it's a weird thing, man. You know, I used to go to an all-boys boarding school when I was a kid, and they used to make all the boys shower together, okay? When you're a kid, you don't think much of it. okay that makes sense we're all boys we're all at a boarding school but when you when you're showering with like 40 friggin' boys at a time older ones younger ones you see a lot of whackadoodles and by the way could we not say that again too please member organ hugh dow and whackadoodle

Why did I say that? And it's true that the gamut is, you know, when you're standing in the shower, you can't help but see them. And I've seen the hundreds. And that doesn't sound good, but, you know, this is when you're an innocent kid and it doesn't mean anything.

You're like, okay, whatever. I'm at an old boys boarding school, and we all shower together. Whoopi do. and you can't help but see them i mean you're right there you're like we had these commutal showers where they were like literally uh there was like 10 shower heads and we'd all go out and do sports and so we all we everything was regimented we do sports we'd have to go in and shower we'd have to get ready for dinner go to the dining hall

and it was just part of the routine and so guys were walking in and out of the showers, new guys, black guys, white guys, tall guys, short guys. And it's true, there's all kinds of stuff out there. And sometimes it was surprising because you'd see like a guy you'd never suspect, like kind of a nerd or a short guy. And all of a sudden, you're like, holy God, look at that dinosaur tail. And then there'd be like a big, like, buff, like, you know, one of the bigger boys at the school. and you're like, wait, where is it? What, what is he, has he even got one?

So I guess, you know, it's something that straight guys don't really have to think about, really, or navigate through, but I guess you women, you women, that's part of the equation. So hopefully you find a nice, juicy one and you're happy. And us men, we probably, you know, if you're looking to equal this survey up, it's probably the boob thing. Guys are definitely lured in by probably bigger booms versus smaller ones. Although I think most men will find smaller ones sexy and attractive and wonderful, but if you're just talking about a woman, you know, walking by,

maybe five or six women most men would probably look at the one with the big breasts so there you go another study uh i don't know that you need to study it it seems like it's primal that it's uh it's obvious but uh you know now we know at least the australian women huh oh that's not a penis this is a penis. He's got a knife. That's not a knife. That's a knife. Okay, so I like this next story. This happened to me just the other day.

And let's put a smile on my face. I hope this puts a smile on your face. Do you have a face? Do you have eyes without a face? are you Billy Idol have I guessed who it is do you have eyes without a face sir are you billy idle yeah you got me on Billy Idol all right excellent what do I win a punch in the face okay let's move on um I was at a mall um I was touring I was doing some comedy shows and I stopped into a mall to wander around and uh I came across this place uh called T-V-V-A. Yeah, T-V-A-Vana. As in the drink, tea. And what this place was, it was kind of like, I guess it's a chain. I'd never been to it before, but as you can hear, I've got this cold. I got a raspy throat. I think it's kind of sexy. All right, Billy Idol, back off. Up yours. So I thought, you know, oh, tea and honey will cure it.

You know, we always have these ridiculous anctidotes for our ailments. What, I've got rectal cancer? Well, a muffin and some carrot juice should clear that up. So anyways, I go in, and I like tea. I don't drink it very often. I maybe have tea like maybe twice a year, maybe five times a year. sometimes no times a year but i enjoy it when i have it and this time i kind of went out of my way i thought i'll have some nice tea put some honey in it it'll be good for my throat really didn't

change my throat as you can hear um but it tasted good and so this place uh is a chain and i guess it's kind of like the Starbucks for tea the idea being that they specialize in all different teas and you go in and they've got all these giant tins. They're like giant cookie tins. And they're all stacked up on the wall and there's all these flavors like Hawaiian pineapple and Earl Grey and Darjeeling breakfast tea and, you know, South Filipino water wax tea. I don't know the names. What am I? A tea, a tea pert? A tea expert? A tea pert? A tea expert? A tea pert? um so of course you know not wanting to waste time and go through all these teas i didn't know about i just went do you have a breakfast tea and the girl's like you know oh you mean like blah blah blah

and i'm like yeah yeah it was kind of like going into baskin robins and ordering the vanilla that's what i was that guy it's like all these flavors of baskin robin you know mid chocolate chip and coconut, walnut, maple praline cream. Yeah, I love the vanilla, please. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why. I'm just boring, yeah. So I just wanted to get in and out of there.

So I order the, I order the, the regular breakfast tea. And the lady pulls one of these big tins off the shelf. She goes, oh, this is. is what it have a sample i'm like what so she opens the tin and puts it like close to my face and with the lid of the round tin and and just so you know the tins are about the circumference of an average like dinner plate and she starts like wafting it she starts like we you know wafting the the lid back and forth

and pushing all the air into my face as if I could you know to smell the aroma of the tea what you didn't know is I'm like clogged up and this is me sniffling I know gross right

but that you know when you try to sniff something when you're clogged up you know you can't smell anything I know it's kind of sick but all the air to filter through like nine layers of booger and phlegm.

That would be like putting a lasagna over your mouth and someone's like, okay, breathe. But there's seven layers of cheese, pasta, and meat between me and the outside air. Yeah, breathe. You can't do it. So I couldn't smell anything, right? She's wafting away.

And I was with my friend. And she ordered like some like exotic, like Hawaiian Merry Gold splash dance or something, right? And she opened this one. I looked inside it. It looked like Pop-Pri. You ever been to somebody's house and they got Pop-Pri sitting out? It was like this blend of like, look like flower buds and wood chips and chipmunk droppings. And she takes the lid off and she's waft it.

You know, it looks like she's, you know, waving a symbol from a drum set into your face. It's like, you know, you ever see someone when they're hot and they're walking around or they're sitting in a nightclub and they start wafting the menu back and forth in front of their face? Like, that's going to cool them down. You know, that's what she was doing. She was like wafting the aroma from the tea jar at us.

And it was a little weird. I thought, oh, this is kind of pretentious. This is kind of, come on. This is kind of weird. I get it. This is your schick. This is Tvana's little thing. So what we'll do is when our customers come in,

take the lid off and waft them. I don't think any other franchise or coffee or tea chain in the world wafts their customers. I mean, isn't that awesome to walk into a place and get wafted? Hey, baby, where you want to go get something to drink? Oh, baby, I feel like getting my waft on. Let's go get wafted. I'll be feeling that waft coming.

You know I've been wanting to get wafted all day. Oh, yeah, baby. Let's go get waft. Let's go get that waft on, baby. We're going to get wafted, baby, real good. Oh, yeah, baby. Let's go get a dual double waft. Such a weird word, waft.

So me and my friend are standing there were getting waft with like, you know, regular breakfast tea and Hawaiian coconut, you know, beaver shavings or whatever the hell it was. And it was a little weird, a little awkward, but I get it. You know, I get what they're doing. It was kind of catchy. And I guess it makes sense. Maybe I was a little, you know, cynical because I couldn't smell anything. So I was like, oh boy, you know, and it felt a little effeminate. You know, you're a guy, I'm like six, one and a half.

You know, I kind of enjoy my manliness. And here I am standing in a mall in front of everybody getting wafted with Hawaiian coconut sprinkle reek. So I endured it, and I got the tea. You know, I got them to put a bunch of honey in it, and it felt good. It felt good. And as I was standing there, like, kind of adding the honey and stirring my tea, getting ready to leave. I looked beside me, and this is the part I really like. This was really cool.

I looked beside me, and I see a guy standing there. I didn't really see the guy first. I looked down, I saw a great big German shepherd. Beautiful German shepherd dog. I'm like, oh, there's a dog in the mall. And then I saw you had one of those special harnesses on, and I looked up, and I saw the guy, and his eyes were a little wonky, and I realized, oh, okay, this guy's blind. And we just happened to be standing there stirring our drinks, and he started talking to one of the attendants,

asking questions, and he seemed like a very gentle, like, kind guy. He seemed very soft-spoken and had a kind face. He seemed like a sweet, sweet human being, you know, gentle demeanor. And his dog was certainly beautiful. And I just watched his eyes stirring. I was watching his eyes move. And, you know, he had eyes, but he couldn't see, obviously. And one of his eyes was kind of crooked.

And it was interesting to see his eyes moving. But in my head, I was going, wow, his eyes are moving, but he can't see. see anything and I wondered if there was any light getting in or if everything was blurred or if it was just black and I thought how how very strange and how how kind of cruel to have physical eyes but they don't work they don't see and again this this guy seemed like so nice and gentle and I just felt oh man you know that's not that's not fair but but but it is what it is we all get assigned our lot in life and fate is fate and destiny is destiny so you know

I just watched the guy and and the lady led him over the tea counter and I kind of concluded that he must have been completely blind because he literally was just feeling he had his hands out and he couldn't tell where the counter was and the lady was helping him and he finally got to the counter and he was touching it and it occurred to me that his blindness was probably pretty severe and the fact that he had a guide dog you know um so anyways i saw him go to the counter and as i was standing there stirring i was right beside him i was about three four feet away and um he started talking to the girl very gently and asking what kind of tease they had and you know blah blah blah and the girl was very nice with him and then all of a sudden he picked one out he said

Yeah, I like this one. And the lady turned around, and she pulled open the lid of the tea jar, and she started wafting. She just started wafting. And I was like profiled to the whole event. I wasn't behind them. I wasn't in front of them. I was profile. And all of a sudden it clicked, and I thought this was such a beautiful moment.

because here was his man who was deprived of sight and here was his lady wafting the aroma of some type of exotic tea or some type of tea from other parts of the world and the look on this blind man's face and he was more of a boy he was kind of somewhere between boy and man I'd put the guy in his maybe mid-20s and the look on his face was heavenly Because he couldn't see, but his nose, his sense of smell, at that moment I could tell, were his eyes.

And the fact that he could walk into a store and use his nose, use his sense of smell to, in essence, pick out a product, to guide him, to make him aware and feel the product he wanted. it was a beautiful sight it was very moving to me it was a small thing but it was very moving and the look on his face he just he smiled and even though his eyes were as i said blinded there was an expression that came into his eyes there was an expression on his face and just his voice he was just like oh that is that is wonderful that is oh you know what that smells like that is just What a beautiful... I really liked that. Like, he started talking about what he was smelling. And it was very moving. It was very beautiful. And it made me feel all these things.

It made me feel so blessed that I had sight. And it made me feel sad that he didn't have sight. But it also made me rejoice in the fact that us human beings are so complex. And we have so many senses. and so many receptacles, if you will, to filter and take in and absorb the environment and the things around us and the sounds and the smells. And it was just a beautiful moment to see this man kind of wallowing

in this moment in time where this woman was wafting this aroma into his face, and he couldn't see, but you could just tell he was feeling and experiencing so much. And I thought, man, this store couldn't be more perfect for someone without sight. What an interesting oversight that I didn't even think of that. What a fun experience. What a bonus for a blind person to be able to come in, and part of the experience of being a consumer of purchasing

is the experience of having to use your nose and your sense of smell and the employee's pushing the air and the odor towards you. And this guy just looked so happy and I wondered in my head. I was like, I wonder if this guy comes in here all the time. I wonder if this is like a stop. on his route, and this provides him a lot of happiness and, you know, personal fulfillment. And I think I know the answer because, like I said, the look on his face and the joy that seemed

to be coming from this moment was just, it was kind of beautiful to see. And so there you go. It's kind of a simple story. It's a weird story, but it was an unexpected story. It was something I didn't bank on, and I went into the place, you know, being a little bit, you know, being a comedian, I was like, this is kind of goofy, this is kind of silly. And then it reminded me of how everything in life has different meaning to different people. And the fact that this guy just had like a little slice of heaven.

And somehow this store might just be a better experience. him than to anyone else. Because he had a leg up on everyone else that he really, really, really got to use what they were doing as a way to make a decision. And so anyways, I thought I'd share that with you, a little unexpected, beautiful moment. And it just goes to show you, you never know when they're going to pop up. You never know when a wonderful little moment is going to pop up. And that's the essence of life.

That's the beauty of life. And that's why we love life. You just don't know. And sometimes it just drops in your lap. And then other times I always recommend you look for it. If you're having a bad day, if you're just kind of walking around humdrum. Don't walk around with your head down looking at the time. the cracks in the sidewalk look around look around and see if there's something that maybe

fills you up with something maybe there's a cloud maybe there's a a bug on a leaf maybe there's a kid sticking its finger in a water fountain who knows but uh kind of kind of fun stuff uh in life there so there you go oh lovely what a dog i love the the just not to go on about it but the seeing-eye dog these dogs uh there's something so special about them it was weird because i looked at the guy's eyes and then i looked down at the dog's eyes and i realized that that these dog's eyes were this guy's eyes and uh it's very fascinating to know that a creature that you know evolved from the wolf which is a wild you know, carnivore.

Here was his German Shepherd using its eyes to help this human beings see. And that's a whole another long topic, but fascinating. And speaking of the joys of life, this is like a bittersweet announcement

I'm going to make, okay? I'm happy to make this announcement, but I'm also like sad, but I'm going to do it nonetheless, okay? As you know, last year, I was shooting a brand new sitcom called Package Deal. And it's a Canadian production, but it looks, for the most part, like an American sitcom. It looks a lot like how I met your mother or a Big Bang Theory.

And it's really funny, and it's brand new, and it's called Package Deal. And it's premiering. Yes, I'm very happy to say. announce that it is premiering. It will be premiering on May 6 at 8.30 p.m. Okay? May 6, 8.30 p.m. My brand new sitcom package deal,

it's about three overly close brothers and kind of if you get involved with one brother, the other two get involved with you. And I play the oldest brother Sheldon and it's a real fun character. I'm really loving doing it. The show's looking really good.

I think it's funny, but I'll let you be the judge. So here's the deal. It was shot in Canada for a Canadian network, CDTV, and it's going to play in Canada Monday, May 6, at 8.30. It's sandwiched between how I met your mother and two broke girls.

So it'll be how I met your mother at 8 o'clock, package deal at 8.30, and then two broke girls at 9 o'clock. Great time slot. I hope all my Canadian friends listening right now, my fellow countrymen and women, I hope you watch the show, support it. And, you know, I can't tell you whether to like it or not, but I hope you like it. And that's the big announcement. the sad part because now I'm an American citizen too and I live in the U.S.

And unfortunately guys and girls it won't play in the United States because it's a Canadian show but what they are doing is I know that they're going to start playing it in Canada and then they're going to try and sell

it down here. So hopefully you see it on the air down here in the U.S. very soon. But for the beginning run, I'm sad to say you can't see it. And that really bothers me because I'm proud of it and I think you'd really like it and it's quality and it's funny. Oh, so sorry USA.

Hopefully it gets here soon. I will let you know. But Canada, my Canadian friends, my Canadian brothers and sisters, please watch the show. please tell your friends this is the first Canadian sitcom filmed in front of a live audience Canada has not pursued the sitcom for as long as there's been television in Canada which is beyond me which is kind of bizarre and mystifying I think they might have made a few short-lived attempts but no one's done an adult sitcom American-style sitcom with a live studio audience.

This is the first one. So this is kind of historic. And I hope all you Canadians listening get way behind this and watch it and tell your friends so that we get great ratings and that we can keep going. Because as Canadians

who export a lot of hilarious comedic talent and a lot of great actors and writers and directors and producers, To me, it is disgraceful that we don't have all this stuff happening in our own country. We're obviously talented enough, and we know how to do it. And so I'm very excited that I'm part of this new beginning. And I really want this thing to be successful, so not just for me, but so it opened up a whole industry in Canada and leads to many more.

amazing sitcoms and so on. So there you go, guys. Again, sorry to the USA. Notice I said a Canadian style, sorry to the USA. Hopefully it'll get here. I'll let you know. But to my Canadian brethren, please tune in. I think you'll dig it, man.

Package deal. Monday, April 6, 8.30 on City TV. and I can't wait to hear what you think. You can always call me 323-739-4-3-3-3-0 with your thoughts. And you can always write me at harlornowwiliams.com. So let's see what else do we have coming up here, gang. Let's not forget that, gee, I guess I'm going to be in Pittsburgh later this week. Pittsburgh Improv.

Come and check it out. Great club, great time. That's going to be Friday, April 26th to Sunday, April 28th. And we are going to be doing stand-up and improv. We're going to do stand-up show, and then me and my opening act are going to come back out on stage and take suggestions from the crowd and do improv. So it's like a double show, man.

It's going to be a ton of fun. fun um and uh and then uh later on in may may 9th to may 12th i will be in uh san oz california at the improv and then may 17th to the 19th i will be in denver colorado at the comedy work so some great tours coming up, guys. Hope you dig it. And that's it, man. I'm done. This is today's show.

Check out Harlowwilliams.com. Go to our store. Order my new special. Order a book. Order a shirt, a CD, whatever you want. As for me, I'm out of here. I'm going to go get wafted. I'm going to get wafted real good.

And until next time, you know what I'm about to say. Chicken. Chal mean, baby.