The Harland Highway - 509 - Special guest, comedian Cort McCowan

Episode Date: August 19, 2013

Our old friend CORT McCOWAN drops by for some fun filled chit chat about summer, stains, and turning invisible. Also we play a brand new game on the Harland Highway today. Scrub your nub!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I met her on a Monday and my heart stood still. Do-do run, run, run, to do run, run. I puked up my liver and... No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop it, Harland. I puked up my kidney and... Stop it. Harland.

I puked up my... Stop it. Now listen, we're here to do a podcast. This is Harland Williams. You are riding down the Holland Highway. And what a show we have today We have a very special guest He's returning, I think, for the third or fourth time

We're just going to shoot the breeze I'm going to ask the important questions That need to be asked This guy is an actor This guy is a comedian This guy is He's going to have his own podcast Coming out soon

It's my friend, Court McCowan The Whole Show Today on the Harland Highway Welcome to the Harland Highway I will look for you Does your mother know

what you're doing for a living? The Harland Highway Hey-oh And it's classic I will find you My mom always said You can't handle the truth Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Many years of therapy Many, many many Fucking years of therapy I will kill you Listen lame brain Let an expert show you how to do this. The Harland Highway. You never know what you're going to get.

It's the Harland Highway. Hey, everybody. This is Harland Williams. What a treat to have you here. Welcome to the Harland Highway. The Smelliest podcast in the world. And good smells, cinnamon, apple, crumble, Danish pastries. And speaking of deliciousness, oh my God.

My special guest here today, he's a comedian, he's an actor, he's a golfer, and he's been on the show a couple of times before. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present in royal fashion, Mr. Cort, McCowan, how are you, buddy? Whoa, what's that? That was the crowd of ants outside applauding. That sounded like a creature from, like, Lord of the Rings or something. I haven't seen that movie. What did you do? Huh?

Brough. Good God. You scare him like a cobra in here, slithering around. Well, that's disgusting. How are you, man? Summer's here, dude. You having a good summer? I'm in my shorts.

I'm up in the Harlan pad. Screen doors are open. I noticed you put the electric blinds up. Oh, yeah. So if the crowd wants to peer in, they can. The bug zappers, bug zappers up and working? Is it going? All right.

Keep your eyes open for bugs getting. fried yeah and i'm just i'm sitting here i'm enjoying your office where the creepy guy used to live you were telling me about which is cool yeah yeah it's good i love summer now what for you everyone has like certain things that symbolize summer like for me it's like it sounds dumb but it's the distant sound of lawnmores cutting grass yeah always makes me feel very summary do you have any kind of symbolism or something you see or hear or smell that that's you know makes you think summer like that kind of spans your your life i think the stench of unemployment really i think i think i think just the stench of no no work um uh i don't you know

used to be always summer for me was always the smell of chlorine like oh really pools you know you're sure yeah yeah yeah you know that kind of thing so did you have your own pool or did you Were you one of those guys like me that had to pray you had a buddy in the neighborhood who had a pool? Well, when I was a little kid, my mom, my grandfather belonged to a country club. Oh, geez. And, yeah. And so, now, we, we didn't have money. The grandfather had money.

We didn't, we had nothing. We had nothing. Okay. But my mom would take me and my brothers and would drop us off at the pool in the morning and then just abandon us for the entire day. Oh, wow. I don't know if she was out like, you know. Now, is that a good memory or a bad memory? It's a good memory.

So chlorine doesn't make you think of abandonment issues? No, my life isn't a long abandonment issue. You know, there's that. Okay. But I think of parenting, I think of abandonment. Okay, okay. But I think summer was like, summer was always good. I had a good childhood.

Yeah. We used to go to the lake and go water skiing. There was no chlorine in the lake, was there? No, there wasn't chlorine in the lake. There was a lot of scotch, you know, on the boat. My parents said, oh, yeah, they like to drink. But do you believe this whole boating and drinking thing? Should that be out like, I get drinking and driving.

Is boating and drinking really a thing? Well, I think that I think you should raise the level. I don't think 0.08 should be, because you don't have to stay in a line. Yeah, you can go around in circles if you want. So I think you should raise the level to maybe like 1.6. So I think you could get twice as buzzed and still manage. Twice as buzzed while you're buzzing. Yeah, with your motorboat.

Or 0.08 or 0.16, excuse me, not 1.6. That would be, that would be inoperable. But you'd be laying in the back of the boat. But I think, I think, I just, I got busted once or I got pulled over once in Newport Beach for. On the water? On the water. How do you get pulled over in the water? Is there like a siren and a boat pulls up a,

as a pull over. Woo! Yeah, and they search. But where do you pull over? Like, if you're in the middle of the lake, you have to pull over all the way to the shore? You just stop and they tie up. You just stop right there.

And they tie up to your boat and they come on your boat and they search. Do they make you try to walk in a straight line, but yet your boat's going up and down in the waves? No, no, they were actually pretty cool. What they do is they come on your boat and then they search for, like they search to see if you're like, you know, we were partying pretty hard back then. And the good news was, is someone was smart enough to dump all of the,

we were drinking a bunch of tequila and stuff. Someone was smart enough to take the tequila while they were doing this and while they were kind of tying up and ditching all the tequila in the water. No way. So some guy like 100 yards down pulled up a hammered trout. Yeah, probably. Like he pulled up a giant trout that was blitzed out of its mind. Went home and cooked it.

And it was like, this is delicious. This is like a Tennessee Jack or whatever. What's that whiskey, that Tennessee crap? Oh, Jack Daniel. This is like a Jack Daniels marinated trout, and we don't know why. No, he's just swimming along with his little fin wrapped around a tequila bottle. In circles, because he's only got one fan that works. He got a drunk school of fish banging into islands and jumping into boats.

Hey, man, let's party, dude. Yeah, it could be. well that's good but but you're you're on a lake yeah which huge open body of water right it's not like a cop can hide his canoe behind a billboard like how do you not see a cop coming at you across a lake well i think that's in it but we did we're doing this at night so it was oh so they sneak up on you well they didn't really sneak we were pretty hammering just driving really fast in a no wake zone you are a troublemaker dude that was it wasn't a smart thing to do but you know So, okay, so let's boil this down. So drunk driving a boat and chlorine are your fondest associations with summer. Again, and unemployment. And unemployment. And the stench of unemployment.

You should go into the chlorine manufacturing business just for the summer and then you can blend the unemployment and the chlorine thing together. And I could be drunk while I'm manufacturing. it so I could have it all together. I always find it's best to be inebriated when mixing powerful chemicals. Yeah, and then have somebody's mom that left their kids somewhere working the front desk. Or they could be stirring the vats, make it like a sweat shop of chlorine. Quartz chlorine sweatshop on Melrose. Exactly, and they could be selling chlorine to all the guys that you hear distantly mowing long.

Way to tie it together. I like it. Hey, what's the worst stain you've ever seen? And I'm serious. Like, the worst stain. Like, has there ever been, like, a stain somewhere? I'm going to tell you the best story ever. Oh, good.

See? I love to ask these random, bizarre question because they always lead to the most unexpected answers. So, yeah, let's hear it, man. I'm settling in. Okay. I'm at the Palm's Hotel in Las Vegas in the green room at the Playboy comedy show, which you have done many. you had done many times yeah this was a comedy theater at the casino yeah so we're in the back

in robert kelly who you'll work with in montreal this weekend robert kelly is back there and we have a playmate a playboy playmate a playboy playmate is sitting there talking and and she's talking to to robert kelly there's other people in the room and and she's being very provi she's talking very kind of provocatively or or kind of dirty to to bobby and and and he's married and he's just kind of along for the ride he's just you know he's just kind of like you know he doesn't really he's not engaging it like he's not like coming on to her but she's saying you know one thing or another and she's kind of you could tell she's kind of buzzed and and all this stuff so she's sitting on this chair and she's talking about i'm not wearing any underwear and you know

this kind of weird stuff like yeah hello and yeah and so um she sits there for a while and then and then the show's over we're all backstage this is when this all after the show they're talking and so then i say um i say to with a guy we have an escort for the playmate that walks her up to her hotel room sure to keep her from yeah the stockers yeah the stockers and so the guy comes in he tells her that he's ready and so he's she stands up and leaves and walks the room and i stand outside the room and i say goodbye and then when i come back in uh bobby kelly's vomiting in the uh in the bathroom and i'm like what the what the hell yeah it's going on why why and he's got a really weak he's a really weird guy he throws up very easily at something

and i was like and he's just and he's vomiting and i was like oh my god are you okay and he's like he point he's pointing to the chair and she had left uh she had been on her period and she had left this stain in the chair from sitting there all this time talking to her and it was like did it look like Jesus? Uh-oh. Tell me it didn't know what didn't look like Jesus. It didn't look like Jesus. What did it look like?

I don't even know. It looked like what's the, what's the, um, psych, psychologist or psychiatrist? Oh, a raw shock test. Oh, wow. So you guys were there analyzing it. It just was, well, someone took a picture of it just because it was. God. Now, we got to ask what color was the upholstery on the chair.

Was it a light color or dark color? Um, I'm trying to make it. Because that would add to the, how extreme the stain popped out. It popped out. So it was probably a lighter color of holster. Yeah, it really popped out. And I want to even say it might have been a plastic chair or I, it was, it was there.

So it was coagulating. It was not nice. The worst stain I've ever seen. I mean, like literally, uh, watched, I mean, made someone vomit. Wow. That's a horrible stain. And that's a good story. That's a great story.

See, that's an amazing stain. And to think she spent the conversation talking about how she had no underwear on. Yeah. Bad choice. Bad day to be talking about it during your period. Yeah, because it looked like somebody stepped on a snail. Oh, sweet Lord. Wow.

You mean there was like crunchy bits of shell in it? No, no. Nothing like that. Because that would have been mysterious. No, no. Excuse me, ma'am. There's crunchy bits of shell in your period. It just looked like, it just looked like someone had murdered a snail and it tried to crawl away.

Wow. Someone stepped on it on the sidewalk. Now, this is weird, but is there a specific name for, I don't think there is, but maybe, you know, is there a name for period blood? Like, is there, is there, is there, is there a name? I mean, not that I know of. Like you got, you know, like for like semen, there's like semen, there's a jaculate, there's, there's all these terms. Oh, my God. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I apologize. But so do you think there's like an actual term for it? Obviously, it's bleeding. It's blood. But when it comes out in the period, I wonder if there's an actual term for that.

I don't. I don't know. I don't even know. What are you? What are you a gynecologist? Why am I asking you this? What's wrong with me? Discharge, maybe?

Discharge. Yeah, sounds like, you know. There's that noise again. You did right off the top. I think it's all. No, that was a wha. It's probably the same sound. Yeah.

It's funny. Well, blood, one of the creepiest stains I ever saw was when I was the first time I ever came to Hollywood, I was just out of college. I was like a 23-year-old, 24-year-old kid. And I decided to come down through Canada, through British Columbia, down through Oregon, down through Washington. and down to L.A. Oregon?

Oregon, the state of Oregon. Oh, Oregon. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, never mind. What did you say? Oregon. Oregon. Yeah, Oregon.

Oregon. Yeah, okay. What the? I'm just, I'm going to Toronto next week, so I'm just, you're learning the words. I want to make sure if I say we're going to be in Oregon next week. Oregon, yes. I don't want to do it wrong. So anyways, I was coming down through Portland, Oregon, right?

And, you know, I didn't have much money, so I was just, I was downtown. The Greyhound bus pulled in, and I had to get out and find a hotel. So I just wandered up to this place right downtown. It was kind of seedy. And I got a room, and I got in, and I started looking around. And there was like a blood splatter on the wall that started on the wall. Then it came out and went around the lampshade. It was on the lampshade.

and then continued on the wall. And I'm like, what the hell? It's like, obviously somebody must have severed like an artery or a vein or like this was obviously a squirt, like a blood squirt. So it started on the wall. It splattered. It was in a line, but it was on the wall and then it was like a 3D splatter because it had to come out to go around the protruding lampshade and then back onto the wall. it continued. It was pretty weird.

And I'm in this room. Like, you can see it right from the bed. And when you turn the light on, it kind of illuminated the stuff on the lamps. It was like, someone was murdered in that room. You know, that's what I was thinking? I'm like, what happened in this room? Am I at the Overlook Hotel? Have you ever seen the CSI where they talk about the, what do they call it, the, the, the splatter when they take the, they stab someone, the knife comes out.

Yeah, and it goes, and that, that's what it is. someone was someone killed a hooker on the bed you slept on the night before the night before you're there it's funny you say that because when i was laying in bed and i looked out i saw a leg with a high-heel shoe sticking out from under the bed and i didn't want to so that's what that was exactly it's all it was there was a dead hooker under my bed not a problem not a problem in port in oregon wow but the leg was hairy do you think it was a tranny could have been a tranny but again not a Not a problem What are you? Barry White suddenly That's a Not a problem I like that

All right This is a question that You know You've probably even had it before Maybe maybe not But it's one of these ones you hear Throwing around If you had the choice

Would you rather be able to fly Or you could become invisible Hey everybody Who wants to have better sex No? Yes Yes The answer is yes You always want to have better sex.

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Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. What would be any? It's surprisingly hard because you have to think about there's so many. I'd much rather fly.

You'd rather be able to have the ability to fly. Yeah, just airfare these days. No waiting in lines, no custom checks. No, TSA. Oh, yeah. Come on. I guess Invisible would be this. You could get past all that, too, but you still have to get a seat on the plane.

Yeah. Good, good thing. You know, I mean, Toronto, I could go to Toronto and just like, leave Monday morning. Yeah, you could just fly, stop, fly down to Arby's, grab a burger, jump back up. It would be cool. But let's say you weren't a guy who traveled. Okay, let's hypothetically take traveling out of the equation. No need for a car.

Yeah, that's true. No parking. No, you don't ever have to worry about parking again. Yeah. No parking tickets. No car insurance. Oh, much rather be able to fly. No cops in the air, unlike when you're on a boat.

Not even a question. Wow, interesting, because I've struggled with it, but you just went, you went right to it. I wonder what our listeners are thinking right now. I wonder if they'd rather, if you guys want to phone in and challenge court's decision or tell us why you'd rather fly or be invisible, you can call in and leave a message at 323-739-4-330

and tell us what you think of courts. We're live? We're not live. No, this is my, I let people call into my personal answering machine and leave me messages. So it might be interesting to see if they're on board. But, you know, I didn't jump to that conclusion as quickly as you. And in fact, I'm still a little mixed because the...

Well, what good does being invisible do for you other than you just become a big snoop? Yeah, that's true. But I don't know. It'd just be interesting to be able to tune the world out and to see things unencumbered and not have to worry about barriers and fences and security. You could just, you know, if you wanted to go to a movie, you just go in. If you want to go, if you're on safari and they're like, you can't walk over. over there, or you can't go near the Statue of Liberty, it's closed, and you're like, screw you,

I'm going right up into that biotch. But see, but at the same time, though, if you can fly, like, you go on safari and it's like you just fly into the middle of where the safari is, you just hang out, and if a lion comes at you, you just fly away. Unless he jumps up, because cats are good jumpers. Well, but then you fly a little quicker. See, here's my theory. Now that you posed it, I think flying.

gets you killed by a lion quicker than being invisible gets you killed by a lion no well i mean because a lion can't attack what he can't see but he can smell it yeah but if he can't see it what's he gonna do you he's gonna take a big but if you're but he just smells you and you're just like and let's say you're just sitting there and all of a sudden just and next thing you know the cat's all over your ass wow because you know because you're probably going to shit yourself if a lion comes up to you really close so you're saying they can't see you but if you drop a turd they can see the turd they can smell a turd but is the turd invisible absolutely not you're just invisible so the turd's no long so if you were so they would just see like

it would look like a turd dropping out of midair exactly but not midair only squat ground yeah two feet from the ground wherever you're shitting yourself that's got to be weird so all of a sudden people would just be like oh my god there's a shit forming and and what's even worse is is let's say you're wearing pants and now it's just suspended in your pants in the mid-air and now you've got a turn suspended in mid-air i think if i'm invisible i wouldn't wear clothes that's the other thing you wouldn't have to wear anything well yeah but what if it's cold that's true you know a lot of problems being invisible all right maybe you let's put it this way the invisible man not a good movie in other words it doesn't end well superman always is the yeah you're right you're right

I think you win this round. But if you guys want to call in and tell us why you'd rather fly or be invisible, we'd be interested to hear. By the way, speaking of incredible things, we're playing a new game later today. We always play a game with our guests on the Harlan Highway, and this will be a brand new game. I think you're going to be good at it. Oh, we'll see.

It's coming up towards the end of the show. Is it racquetball? No, no, this is a verbal game. Oh, verbal. No, I'm not going to. No, not racquet. Court is my nemesis on the show. the racquetball court he's an incredible player we've probably played 60 times and i think i've won

three times against him he's pretty amazing but i like the challenge and we're going to go play right after this podcast absolutely so what i'm doing with all these questions is i'm trying to get your mind so deeply entrenched in all these thinking processes that it's going to mentally throw you off your game that's what this podcast was really all about no my mind's so anyway, it won't. Let's talk about something else that kind of deals more with the matters of the heart.

Uh-oh. And this is personal stuff, and you can sidestep it if you want, but has a girl ever thrown a line at you that just crushed you or hurt you? Like she said just a line, like a girlfriend, a lover, anybody, and she said something,

and you just went, wow, That just, like, crushed me up inside. Oh, I'm sure it's happened. I just can't think of anything right off the top of my head. Because sometimes there's, like, standout stuff. I'll give you an example, something that happened to me. It was Valentine's Day. I was dating this girl.

And, you know, I like to draw and write poems. And I'm very artistic, court. And, you know, for Valentine's Day, I drew her up a little picture of this couple. like sitting in the sunset holding. I was feeling very mushy. And I wrote up home with it and everything. And I took her out to dinner and I gave it to her. And she really liked it.

You could tell it moved her. And then on the way home, she started a fight with me out of nowhere. And as we're driving home on Valentine's Day out of nowhere, she goes, she goes, fuck you. Like she said that to me. And I was like, wow. Like, it's Valentine's Day.

We just had all this romantic, mushy stuff. And I got to be honest, I don't know if a girl's ever said that to me before. Right. I don't know if people listening have had that, but I'm not used to that stuff. And I was like, you know, she probably could have said it on any other day, but the fact that we just, it was Valentine's Day, that was a bit of a crusher. That one hurt. Yeah, I think probably the worst I ever felt didn't come from my girlfriend.

but came from her, her best friend. Uh-oh. When she told me she'd been cheating on me. Oh. You know. Crusher. Yeah. It's like, it was like the pit of my, like my, my stomach was upset.

Oh, I hate that. It's like, it's like, you know, you get butterflies when you're in love. Yeah. But it's like the bad butterflies. Yeah. It was exactly, exactly what that was. And I'll never forget, like, like I was, I was driving. We were living together in Malibu.

Yeah. and and I kind of like she used to come she used to run around with her friend and they'd go out and I was like I'm not like one of these jealous overprotected yeah yeah yeah yeah go hang out and they would you know they'd come back really really late and her friend was married and her friend was cheating on her husband and I knew that she was cheating on her I mean I found out that she was cheating her husband and I found out once and I said and I knew her husband and I said and I go, I go, I don't, I'm going to, I'm going to take, give you the benefit of the doubt that this was, this was a mistake that you made and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I go, buddy, if I ever find out again, if I ever found out you ever do this again, yeah, I will tell your husband. Yeah. I will, I will, I will tell your husband, I will, I will flat out bust you. Yeah. And, and, and she did it again, and I told her husband, me and her brother took her husband one night, to a roof of a hotel

and sat down with him and said this chick is cheating on you and because his brother had an instance I had an instance so we sat down and said this so when he confronted her she called me the next morning and said just so you know since we're all getting this out in the open you know your girlfriend's been cheating on you

and I was like and I didn't expect that oh that's brutal you know what's you know what pisses me off about that story is that is that when the girlfriend knows and they don't say anything like you did the right thing you went and told your buddy so that he didn't have to be

victimized by it. Well he can make his own decision at that point. Right but I hate it when you're hanging out with the friend like in this case you were hanging out with your girlfriend and her friend and her friend knows the whole time. Yeah. And it's like it's like

oh look at court buying us dinner or paying for the movies if only he knew that she's screwing three other guys like you just feel like such a victim at that point yeah yeah that's and it's and it's even and it just was such a like oh i just never i'll never forget like driving down pc because i was going to the house to move out because i like i found out i was oh i was over in the valley for some for some reason and i was driving back just going i'm going back i'm packing a bag and i'm leaving leaving and I'm never coming back now what made it hurt so much is was I'm guessing that she might have been a contender like you really loved this oh yeah I mean I'd known this girl since I was

in sixth grade oh man third grade and I knew her all through high school then I went to you and I moved to California and been living here like we never dated I just knew her always had a crush on her yeah and then and then we started dating and we lived together oh geez so this was a this was serious yeah i mean i was i was 24 years old it was when you're that age you're like you when you fall in love you are in love you you don't see any yeah yeah it was everything to me oh man and then when i found out i was just like i was just rocked that sucks now now how did she react when you called her out was she just like oh she was she was so busted did she try to deny it

um not so much deny it as to say you know back then like you're 23 24 like you know we were really drunk and you know and it you know wasn't what you think excuses yeah excuses and then you know tried for i mean she used to i moved out moved to uh venice i was living in venice and she used used to come home and she used to be sitting on my doorstep for like and like crying and like and trying to get back with you oh yeah for oh man for like a year it's hard it's hard to do once that trust is broken oh yeah i would just sleep with her and kick her right out you know yeah good for you payback payback sex now last quick question was the cheating with someone you knew which makes it even worse no no okay good at least it wasn't a buddy or a friend because

that's that's the worst um here's a quickie and this is just a yes or no answer Yes or no. Does Donald Trump have pelicans living in his hair? Yes or no. Yes. Yeah, that's right. That's correct. Do you watch these Survivor shows, like on Discovery Channel or like, I shouldn't be alive and all these stories? None. Like, do people really get lost in the wilderness? Have you ever been lost? No, I don't know how they're lost with all the cameras around. Yeah. Because somebody's, somebody, those guys are eating and drinking and somebody's taking care of the crew. Oh, I see. Okay.

The crew's not out there on their own with, um, no, I don't mean reality shows. Oh, oh. I mean like these shows that go back and tell the story about a family that was lost in the wilderness or they're on safari or they're up in the mountains and they got, they got lost. So I don't know I don't know that I've ever met people That really got lost But if you ever been lost anywhere Like like where you were literally like

Oh my God This is like crazy I don't know where we are I don't know how we're gonna like Where you were starting to panic And worry about it Trying to think Like out hiking or or skiing

Or You know Mountain climbing I don't know I'm sure I have For some reason I think like I think once I know

I can't like rock top my head I can't think about it but that's the thing that's my point it's like not many people really get lost

like that where their life's in peril yet there's like it seems like there's 89 show like Survivor Man and Bear Grills and all these shows

about if you get lost eat a tree you know but it's weird is I have a friend whose dad died it was like up in like

you know like up in the mountains here in California and got lost and died Okay, well, that nullifies that whole topic. And now I look like the prick. Thanks.

All right, on that note, are you ready for the Harland Highway game? Ooh. Yeah. It's a great game. It's a brand new game. It's called Your Little Angel or Go Fuck Yourself. Okay. Are you ready?

You're going to have four questions. You're going to be presented with four incredible scenarios. Okay. And you have to decide if you were to say to someone, you're a little angel or go fuck yourself okay uh they're not easy questions uh take your time by all means and uh here we go the first question for our guest court mccowan a girl says she's taking you to a movie and says she's paying for the movie but you can pay for the snack bar she orders more snacks than the price of the movie you're a little angel or go fuck yourself

Ah, you're a little angel. Enjoy yourself. Really? Yeah. That is correct. I can't believe you got that one. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Snacks are more expensive. Wow. Popcorn's $7, $8 now. Wow. So you're okay with that. I'm okay with that. You're a little angel. I've bought the movie tickets before and had girls go get, you know, I'll take care.

I'll get the popcorn and I order the large I see. You know, I don't get the small one. Wow. Because if I was paying for it, I'd get the large icy. that's awesome okay great um let's go to number two you're a kid it's christmas morning you wanted a toy truck you open the present and it's a collared shirt and some gray socks mom and dad say do you like it you're a little angel or go fuck yourself go fuck yourself why where's the receipt

where's the receipt I've taken this shit back and you can all go fuck yourself all right here's number three you are correct again by the way you made love to the girl of your dreams all night

best love making ever in the morning she looks at you with these dreamy eyes and say will you go make us some breakfast you're a little angel or go fuck yourself can I ask a question

Yeah. Was anal involved? Yeah. You're a little angel. You're a little anal. You're a little angel. Oh, wow. Correct.

Do you want pancakes? That's awesome. Great answer. You're right again. You're three for three. Fourth question is always the hardest by design. This is where we try to trip you up. Okay.

Are you ready? So fourth and final question in our amazing new. show here. Number four, you're in the hospital. A crippled kid in a wheelchair can't get up two stairs to get to the handicapped bathroom. With a super distressed voice, he says, I have horrible diarrhea, mister, and I'm about to explode. Could you help me get up these two steps so I can go to the handicapped bathroom? You're a little angel or go fuck yourself? Hmm, go fuck yourself. go fuck yourself shit yourself in that little chair and then i'm going to hit the nurse button

and she's going to come clean you up because there's no way i'm letting that shit get on me correct you did it you did it four for four how do you must feel good i do feel good oh we got to go get you a tablet or chlorine or something yeah well court it's great to have you here uh we're at the end of the show court please uh take a moment to let your fans know what you're up to where they can reach you. They can Facebook, you email you, come to your shows, whatever you got going on. Yeah, okay, so you can go to a court macawen.com, C-O-R-T, M-C-C-O-W-N. And same thing, at Court McCallin for Twitter.

And I got a new show. We got the new show coming out, Supreme Court. It's a podcast, right? It's a video podcast, I would. would say. Oh, great. And it's going to be, and you go to the joint studios.com, and you can look it up. It's called Supreme Court. And Harlan, you'll be on there. I'll jump on, man. I hope I'm really excited about this because it's a great place. Joint Studios great. They got good shows over there. Oh, yeah, they got some amazing talent over there. And you're going to be right in the

mix with all that. You deserve it, man. And then if you're up in Toronto, Canada, next week I'll be caddying at the Canadian Open, and the week after that, I will be caddying in the Reno Taho Open for my Swedish buddy, Esper Parnovic. Nice. I guess I'd do that on the side for fun. Shits and giggles. Oh, boy. Well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen.

Our thanks to Cort McCowan for dropping by, and he'll be back again on another day. Buddy, thanks so much for being here. Let's go skinny dipping. Am I a little angel, or should I go fuck myself? You're a little angel. Okay. Thanks, Court. Thanks, buddy. We'll catch you next time.

Thanks for being here, everybody, on the Harland Highway. Check out Court's websites and his new podcast coming up, Supreme Court, at the Joint Networks. And until next time, as always, chicken chow mean, baby.