The Harland Highway - 528 - Harland does radio interview, WalMart fun, hungry bugs.

Episode Date: November 11, 2013

Hear Harland yukking it up on a morning radio interview, follow up call from Pavement Pounder, fun at the Wal-Mart, and some very hungry bugs in your house. Jiggle my piggle!! Learn more about your a...d choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 halleloo halleloo halleloo okay what am I doing why am I singing halleloo wow too soon too soon hey boys and girls
Starting point is 00:00:16 ladies and gentlemen welcome to the longest podcast in the world and it's the longest because it's on a highway it's on the harland highway and it's never ending it just goes and goes and goes Okay, what aves? What aves?
Starting point is 00:00:31 Welcome to the show. What a show today. We are going to Walmart, and you're going to hear me have some fun with the checkout lady at the Walmart. Yeah, it's pretty fun. Also, I'm going to be following up on some questions I had. One of the pavement punders called me and asked me some very important questions about life,
Starting point is 00:00:53 and I'm going to be finished responding to those. We're going to be talking about an unwanted visitor in your house that eat stuff you don't want them to eat. You may think you don't have to deal with this, but these things are in your house right now eating stuff you don't want them to eat. Trust me. I'm not going to give it away. And then lastly, I'm going to play a clip of me on a radio show. And just it's kind of an inside look at what I have to do when I'm doing the stand-up circuit, me having fun, joking around with the DJs.
Starting point is 00:01:26 It's going to be a good time. It always is. This is the Harland Highway. Welcome to the Harland Highway. I will look for you. Does your mother know what you're doing for a living? The Harland Highway. Hey, oh.
Starting point is 00:01:41 And it's classic. I will find you. My mom always said, you can't handle the truth. Many years of therapy. Many, many, many. Fucking years of therapy. I will kill you. Listen, lame brain.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Let an expert show you how to do this. The Harland Highway. You never know what you're going to get. It's the Harland Highway. Let's start the show with some Walmart action. How many podcasts do you listen to and you get Walmart action, man? Oh, Charles, oh, Nelson Riley. Here's the skinny.
Starting point is 00:02:31 I was at a buddy's place in the summer. I forgot I'd recorded this. And there's a bunch of people around, like, you know, adults, little kids, everyone. And I guess one of the little kids clogged the toilet up somehow. We still don't know how. so I volunteered to drive over to the Walmart in the town and pick up a plunger but the deal was when I got to Walmart
Starting point is 00:03:03 there was like three or four different styles of plungers there was just that regular plunger you know the one with the wooden handle and the red rubber nipple on it that it's like an odd shade of red I'm going to call it plunger red me because it's somewhere between like red and crimson and a pale brown it's it's a weird red but you know it and as soon as you see that color you go man that's that's like plunger red man look look at that guy's shirt man he'd be wearing plunger red oh man where'd you get that plunger red sweater
Starting point is 00:03:37 man oh i love that guy get me one of those that plunger stuff is the shit um so i picked up one of those and i was about to leave and i see this other one is like super plunger and it had all these it looked like an accordion it had all these like folded pieces of plastic and i thought wow you can probably suck your way to the center of the earth with this thing so i thought if there's real trouble in that toilet i'll get this and then i saw like another one and it had handles on it like a motorcycle and i'm like oh my god and they're all like you know I think they were all within, like, the $10 price range or something. And I thought, you know, to call a plumber out to this guy's cottage would probably be like $300.
Starting point is 00:04:27 I drove all the way into town. And it's like $30 for three plungers. So I was like, you know what, I'm just going to get all three in case the basic red plunger doesn't work. And that way, nobody's having to drive all the. way back into town and I bought a snake. I bought one of those plumbing snakes. I bought it all. I was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:04:52 I'd rather pay 40, 50 bucks now than have to drive back and forth an hour into town and blah, blah, blah. So I realized I've never really checked out with plungers before and you got to figure the lady at the counter's got to be like, what the hell's wrong with this guy? He's got three plungers and a plumbing snake. Holy God. What's going on in this guy's innards? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:05:22 So I thought, I'm going to record this. I'm going to record this transaction. I'm going to be checking out. I'm down south. I'm in Florida. And I got like these plungers. My sister's little girl is with me. She's like, I think she's like nine or ten years old.
Starting point is 00:05:43 She came on the drive with me over to Walmart to get. the plungers and uh it was fun so i thought i'd have a little fun with the lady at the cash uh register she was an elderly uh african-american woman sweet as apple pie really nice and i thought it like you know kind of ager on a little bit with the old uh plunger situation so here i am at the checkout line in florida with a little girl two plungers a plumbing snake and a charming, wonderful African-American checkout clerk at Walmart. Here we go. Hello.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Hi, how are you? How are you? Awesome. We had a little clog situation at the house, so we got a ball these. Uh-oh. Oh, yeah. They come in handy, I tell you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:44 Just one too? I haven't seen one look like this. That's for the big loaves. Oh. Yeah. When you got big trouble, you need the big plunger. Yeah. Every now and then, somebody eats an olive garden, and you're running the problem.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean. Oh, yeah, I mean. Everyone has an olive garden loaf now and then. All right, ready? Yes, sir. Thank you, love.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Hopefully we don't see you back here for more toilet problem. Yeah, something more pleasant next time. Right. Thanks, love. This way. Huh? Did we come in that door? Yeah, I think we do. There it is. I left a little. ending on where you can hear me talking to my niece a little bit it's like that's that's my favorite
Starting point is 00:07:50 part just the cutest kid in the world we've motored over in the truck and we were laughing all the way laughing about getting plungers and stuff like that that was cute so there you go that's my little my little interaction with the uh the walmart lady i love her expression like uh-huh oh yeah mm-hmm oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh that's right
Starting point is 00:08:18 mm-hmm oh yeah we all get a loaf baby mm-hmm oh yeah oh that's right oh yeah awesome I love it
Starting point is 00:08:33 I love it and speaking of recordings um as you know last podcast I had a gentleman call in and he asked me he started off with one question he said arlin i want to ask you one question um just quick random question just hit my head uh hit it hard really painful i need to ice now then suddenly he switched gears and went from one question to saying this um quick some rapid
Starting point is 00:09:02 fire questions did you ever skip school and get caught or where'd you go if you did skip school when you're younger. I don't think you're in school now. What was the coolest band you ever met? And who was your first crush? And did you ever get the guts to say hi? Wow. Or ask the girl out.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Okay. Love a podcast. I hope your week's going well. It's going okay. Take care, man. Bye. Thank you. Chad from Madison.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Bye. Chad. Okay. Thank you. So there it is. It started as one. question and morphed into three. It's like those guys at the White House.
Starting point is 00:09:42 You ever see the press secretary and all the press gallery are sitting there? And the press secretary takes questions. And these clever media people are like, yes, yes, one question. How does the president feel about Bosnia? But within that question, more so there, herein, does he plan to make any changes in the healthcare, Bosnia, Salt 2 Nuclear Treaty Pact, meaning can he, in fact, stabilize the economy with the, you know, that type of thing. But I don't mind, hey, that's why I have the hotline, man.
Starting point is 00:10:27 And last show I talked about skipping school, and I realized in that question, I kind of uncovered the impactfulness of skipping school for me. It actually had a benefit to it. So it was a great question, and no, I never did get caught. I don't think I answered that last session. But I never got caught. I was good at skipping school.
Starting point is 00:10:51 I didn't do it a ton, but I did it enough that, you know, I got away with it and enjoyed myself and so on. But the next question you asked is, what was the coolest band I ever met? Hmm, let me see. You know, Chad, I realize with that question, I haven't met a lot of bands. You know, I've met, I guess I've met a few musicians over the years. One of the cool people I met was a guy named Brian Setzer from the Stray Cats.
Starting point is 00:11:25 I hung out with him a little bit. He was really cool. Who else? I got to say the bare naked ladies because my cousin's in the damn band, so I've hung out with the bare naked ladies a ton. I mean, we've pretty much camped together. And those guys are a ton of fun. Who else?
Starting point is 00:11:47 My goodness. I don't know. I haven't. I don't think I've met a lot of bands. If I have it, it wasn't anything that really resonated with me that much. So, unfortunately, my band answer is kind of weak. And going back to the first girl I had a crush on. I mean, I had a lot of crushes.
Starting point is 00:12:07 I started crushing on girls when I was like in, I think I was in kindergarten, man, or grade two. Like as soon as I was old enough to understand what girls were, I started crushing on them, man. I was a little Cassanova even when I was in like grade one and two. I remember trying to put the moves on girls and talking to them and, you know, seeing if we could like kiss. on the cheek or something silly like that, you know? But I think the first girl I ever made or asked to be my girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:12:43 I think it was in grade six. I think it was in grade six at my high, at my grade school. There was a girl named Jennifer Woodward. My God. And back then, you used to, if you liked a girl, you had to kind of let everyone know. and then what happened is all the kids would gather around and they'd pull, the girls would pull the girl into the circle
Starting point is 00:13:14 and the guys would pull the guy into the circle and like 20, 30 people would stand around. Talk about pressure. And everyone knew you liked each other. And then the guy had to go to the girl. And I remember doing this, I was like, hey, Jennifer, will you go around with me? That's what we called it, going around.
Starting point is 00:13:33 and if she said yes then she was your girlfriend and so the first girl I ever went around with with Jennifer Woodward and I didn't know what to do it's like it's like you know we both lived in the neighborhood her house was a you know a 10 minute walk away my house was in another part of the neighborhood the school was in between
Starting point is 00:13:55 and I didn't know what you're supposed to do like okay we're going around now what I remember going to her house I think the one and only time I went to her house. I went over to her house. She goes, you want to climb the tree? And I go, yeah, let's climb the tree. And there's a great big tree in her backyard.
Starting point is 00:14:14 And we went up and climbed the tree, and we sat on a branch for like an hour. And I was so nervous. She was right beside me, and I didn't even hold her hand. I was like, I want, I'm thinking, this is my girlfriend. We're going around, man. Why can't I hold her hand?
Starting point is 00:14:29 I want to hold your hand in the tree. um so just never happened it just you know and then it just kind of dissolved like there was no breakup there was no it's just like they just kind of wore out you know so that's it man those are the answers to my questions i think your first question got the best answer out of me the second one was a bit lame because i don't hang out with bands and the third one well what do you what can i say grade six but thanks for the questions and uh keep them coming you know the number gang uh 423 or sorry what the hell am i saying i was looking at the wrong number here the number is 323 739 4 330 and uh we look forward to hearing from you here on the holland highway and
Starting point is 00:15:22 not all emails not all voicemails make it through but i try to pick uh good interesting ones and blah, blah, blah. So thanks for calling, guys. Keep them coming. And if you're too nervous to call and leave a voice message, you can always write to harlindwilliams.com, and you could leave an email. So there you go. There you go, boys and girls. Let's shift gears to something that I find kind of weird. Do you ever have moths in your house?
Starting point is 00:15:55 You know what I'm talking about? Moths. They get in your closet and they get in your drawer. And they eat your clothes? What is that? What kind of animal is that? Every other animal needs, like, protein. Every other animal needs sustenance. You know, one animal eats a bird. The bird eats the bug.
Starting point is 00:16:15 The bug eats the dead flesh. The lion eats the zebra. The zebra eats the grass. You know, it's just like a cycle of vulture eats the dead zebra. The lizard eats the eggs. It's like everything has like protein and vitamins and minerals and sustenance. Here comes the moth. Gee, what shall I have for dinner today?
Starting point is 00:16:39 Ah, yes. How about a delicious brown blazer? Oh, I don't care what you're having. I'm going to have me some socks, man. Oh, yeah, I ain't doing blazer tonight, man. I'm having me some gym socks. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm having myself a daze.
Starting point is 00:16:58 dress okay there's a beautiful red dress hanging in this cupboard and it looks lip smacking delicious i mean what are they thinking moths what you eat clothes what is wrong with you there's no vitamin there's nothing in clothes why why you got to eat my clothes it's like nature has an answer for everything man there's always something in nature like if you don't spray your house or cut your weeds or nature just takes over and there's nothing worse you like you go you pull out an old dinner jacket or a blazer or a you know a suit or something and you're like oh i haven't worn this in a year oh going out to a nice dinner i'll throw on the what the hell there's like 38 holes in it hey everybody who wants to have better sex no yes yes the answer is yes
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Starting point is 00:19:03 and 100% free shipping Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. I mean, what is with these bugs flying around snacking on pants? These pants are delicious.
Starting point is 00:19:21 This is some of the finest denim I've ever had. Is this Abercrombie and Finch? Ooh, I think they might be from the gap. Wait a minute, look at those khakis over there. Come on, moths. Go eat some grass. There's enough trees and bushes and grass. There's 20 billion, jillion, zillion, gazillion leaves hanging in the tree.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Go suck on a eucalyptus leaf or bite a pine needle. Like, you're small, okay? like 500 of you could go eat a pine cone together. Why, in the name of tarnation, you have to eat my favorite shirt? Okay? Why are you eating my Iron Maiden t-shirt? It can't be that good.
Starting point is 00:20:13 So moths, go find a golden corral or something. Go find a golden corral and go, go hit the buffet, man. And if you don't like the food at the buffet, then go attack the waiter's uniforms. Eat the chef's hat. Just leave me alone. Leave my wardrobe alone. God, brats. Well, let's move on.
Starting point is 00:20:43 We had fun. You know, we had fun with the recording earlier, the Walmart lady. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's right. And I thought, how about another recording? This is a side of my career. that maybe you guys don't think about,
Starting point is 00:21:00 or people in general don't think about with comedians and musicians and things like that. But one of the things we have to do is when we come into a town or a city to play, you know, the comedy clubs or a theater or whatever we're doing there, whatever the venue is, one of the things we have to do is a lot of media. We have to do a lot of morning press, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:23 the mornings before our gigs. If we play a weekend, we usually come in Wednesday night, and we do Thursday morning and Friday morning. And, you know, we're night owls, so us comedians, we usually stay up. You know, our minds are trained, at least mine is. I can't really go to sleep until 1-2 in the morning. And all these radio stations want you on their show or their TV networks. They want to interview you on the local news at like 6, 7, 8 in the morning.
Starting point is 00:21:51 so a lot of times in order to promote our shows we have to get up early and we have to turn on the funny and it's not easy i got to tell you man it's not easy when you roll out of bed there's a guy waiting for you in the lobby your hair's tossed your eyes are puffy you're still half asleep and you're being rolled into these radio stations where these morning radio guys have a crap ton of energy most of the time. And it's always fun to see these people. It's fun to do the interviews, but it can be tough. It can be tough on you getting your mind up and running and trying to get all the juices
Starting point is 00:22:37 flowing. It's almost like, I don't know if you've ever worked out in the morning. If you're one of these people that your alarm goes off, you jump out of bed, you put your clothes on, and you run to your treadmill, or you run to the gym. And even though it feels good, it's like your body and your mind or like a step behind for a little while.
Starting point is 00:22:56 And that's what it's like, for me at least. But once they get up and running, I have a lot of fun. So I thought I'd share that with you, kind of behind the scenes look at the life of entertainers who are on the road. And here's an interview I did with a radio station with these guys that are just great. um in uh pittsburgh not too long ago and uh obviously unless you live in pittsburg you don't get to hear
Starting point is 00:23:25 this stuff so i thought you know what let's let's put it out here and uh we had a lot of laughs and there's no reason why you guys you pavement pounders out there can't share in the in the chuckles so here it is this is me early morning pittsburg turning on the goofiness for uh all the comedy fans out there. Here it is. For us to wait to bring Harlan Williams into the studio when he's here in the kitchen, hanging out. You don't keep the A's on the bench? No, that's right. That's right. We just
Starting point is 00:23:55 we call for the righty. He's here right now. Harlan Williams live in studio. It's such a pleasure to see you, my friend. Great to see you guys. What a tasty early morning cinnamon frosted treat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Yeah. Just wonderful. Wonderful. Harlan's at the improv all weekend long if you want to check them out. We figured we bring in, Val, give us a news update, and you can just comment on whatever about that's going on. I love the news. Let's do it. We've talked about these sexual deviants before. People who are physically attracted to cars.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Now, if you don't know the technical official name, they're called mechophiles. Whoa. Mechophiles. I mean, I don't know the Latin derivation, mecca. I don't know what that would stand for. Mechanic. Oh, yeah. There you go.
Starting point is 00:24:43 There it is. Mecophile. Yes. wow with a car i hope he doesn't have power windows that's all because that's going to hurt that's going to hurt wow you gotta use protective you don't know where that tailpipe is been that's real lord i had mike put the video on the morning show page and the guy looks like a creep i mean he's like caressing the car how old is he 63 that's horror imagine you go into walmart to buy a new sleeping bag and some lasagna and you come out and there's a
Starting point is 00:25:16 Johnny McCreepie making love to the back of your strobe. Like, dude, get off, get off. Your car's rocking up and down. He's wrecking your shock absorbers. Dude, go. Somebody get Thomas the
Starting point is 00:25:31 Choo Choo Choo Train on line for you. His life's about to change. Hey, Thomas, here comes the caboose. Wow. Lock this guy up. Holy smokes. Helicopters.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Yeah. Helipads. Wow. What? That's like a one-time experience right there. It's got to be hard to score. Wow. Edward gets around.
Starting point is 00:25:57 He claims to have had a thousand partners over the years, only one of which was human. He does have one true love. He says it's vanilla, and she's a white VW bug. Oh. I wonder if he ever goes to one of those mechanics garages, puts vanilla on a hydraulic lift, puts her up in the air, lays down underneath her and lowers her and has a 69 with vanilla.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Yeah, bring her down. Bring her down. Come on, vanilla. Here we go. What a whack job. That is really bizarre. Is that a real thing? The guy's really, like, jacked up over cars? Apparently so. I've heard of it before. I mean, the joke was always autoerotic, you know, but it's called mechophilia. No, I thought autoerotic was something different. No, that's asphyxiation. Yeah. But it was kind of a play on words, you know. I wonder what this guy, I wonder if this guy would like, his mind would blow up if he ever saw a transformer in the nude.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Can you imagine him going after Optimus Prime in the middle of the night? Wow. Wow. What must happen to him when he goes to, like, custom car shows? Yeah, that's just it. Oh, God. watches the Fast and the Furious, like that's his porn. I think there'd be turtle wax everywhere.
Starting point is 00:27:22 Yikes. Wow. Should we talk about the twerkout? Sure, yeah. At the gym, this is out of Miami. It's called the Vixen Workout, a dance class set to club music where women show up in their favorite pair of heels, all made up, ready to go out, and it's a twerk out. Like you twerk out.
Starting point is 00:27:43 To lose weight. They put on some club music. Yeah, it was developed by former Miami heat dancer Janet Jones. And she says you can burn hundreds of calories in just one class. You know what? They don't tell you, though, with every workout, they put you on a restrictive diet, right? You have a specific food. And the big flaw in this workout is baked beans is the food you're supposed to eat.
Starting point is 00:28:09 And the two just don't work well. twerking with beans twerking after a can of beans it doesn't sound nice it sounds like an orchestra warming up yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:28:22 not nice not nice yeah I don't know if you've ever seen spandex gym pans blow a bubble but that's that's what it's like yeah
Starting point is 00:28:36 well Harlan Williams is 58 and 18 days Well, Harlan Williams is a lot of this video, and you can catch him this weekend at the improv. And I'll tell you, it's always a pleasure to see you back here in the Burke. Pittsburgh loves you. So now, you're living in L.A. these days? Yeah, living in L.A. See, you travel all over the country.
Starting point is 00:28:54 I just feel like that is not even, it doesn't encapsulate any part of what America really is. Yeah, L.A. L.A. is, you know, it's a weird kind of surreal town. It's bizarre. I live right in Hollywood. and it's weird I have I had like a herd of deer on my front lawn the other day yeah like I'm up in the Hollywood Hills and there's a deer out on my lawn I'll show you the video when we go on break well I mean it's bizarre had you not seen them before I'd you see them around but it's like you know you're wild deer and coyotes and bobcats all these animals I had I was sitting in my living room the other night I leave the door open because
Starting point is 00:29:35 it's it's nice and warm a skunk walk walked in the door, into my living room, and I went, hey, and he looked at me, and thank God he didn't shoot any ass sauce all over the room, you know, because you don't need the Gatorade butt flavor in the house. But he took off out the door. It's like, it's like a movie, we bought a zoo up at my place. It's crazy. It's really bizarre, man. Ass sauce. As sauce. The only, the only animal in the world you know most animals like get you with the fangs the claws skunks are like you know what buddy have some ass sauce yeah no you're not going to be attacking me today here have some delicious ass soft yeah right in your face by the way yeah smell it feel it
Starting point is 00:30:24 pepper straight you know it's crazy it's ridiculous it would be cool if humans possess the ability to use some animal defense mechanisms from time to time oh that'd be great if Humans could shoot ass soft. Well, not necessarily that, anything. Where you could blend, like, some of those squid do, like, in the bottom. Yeah. Or, like, the spitting cobra? Yeah, that'd be good.
Starting point is 00:30:47 And if you heard of that in India, there's a spit. Spits. It spits, it's poison. Can you imagine the last thing you hear before you die is... The guy hawks a lugy in your face. Thanks a lot, clunk. I like polar bears, though. That'd be a good way to die, because their paws are so huge.
Starting point is 00:31:10 It'd be like getting shamwowed to death, right? Just like pat, pat, smack. Yeah. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? A deer nearly got to me, yeah. What happened, man? That's crazy. Well, you know, I had two dogs, and they chased the baby deer, fawn.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Yeah, whatever. And the mama deer got really mad and was, like, you know, snorting at me and kind of doing the Toro bull thing. Whoa. I picked up a big, like, branch that had fallen, and I threw it at the deer, and it took off because it was scared of the noise. So you were almost killed by a woman deer? Wow. That would not have looked good on your gravestone.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Here I lie, killed by a chick deer. Not good. Not too macho. Wow. Would not have been good. Wow, that's crazy, man. Harland's at the Improft this week at 424625233, Inpron.com. Can you stick around a little? Oh, you got it. We've got to talk more about dears and antlers and stuff.
Starting point is 00:32:14 More with Harlan Williams coming up on the DVE morning show. What is the, we were talking about deer and antlers. Oh, yeah. You said you had something about nubs. Well, it's weird because you got all these hoofed critters. You've got the elks, the moose, the deer, you know, the antelope. Everything's got the antlers. And then you get to the biggest, the tallest of all the,
Starting point is 00:32:35 the hoofed critters, the drafts, and they got nubs on their head. They got, like, two chicken drumsticks on the top of their head. And I'm like, what's that feel like to get rammed by a draft? It'd be like getting tickled by a couple of Kentucky fried chicken drumsticks. Like, what is that? What are those tufts on their head? Is any, are they delicious? What do they taste like?
Starting point is 00:33:00 I've never seen them on a menu. They're weird, right? Right. Does anyone know what they're made of? I don't know. Are they hard? Are they soft? I know. It's weird. Antlers that never broke through, they never flew in the short. They're almost like handles.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Like you run and you jump on the back of a draft's head and like, hold on, Willie. They're like beer taps or something. You pull one back and you get some Miller light dropping out of the udders. Yeah, some draft udders. How you doing down there, Eddie? Stand underneath it. I'm pulling on the nub. If you want bud light on the right or cooers on the left. It's a bizarre thing.
Starting point is 00:33:41 It is a bizarre thing. But a giraffe would look silly and potentially be imbalanced with a huge rack of antlers. Yeah, that would be wild if they had big antlers. They're hard to hunt, too. Have you ever hunted giraffe? No. I think it's illegal, isn't it? Not where I come from.
Starting point is 00:34:01 But what happens is you got the timber effect. What happens is when you're, shoot a giraffe, a lot of guys forget to yell timber on that giant 18-foot neck lands on them and kills them. It's hard to hang them over the fireplace too. Because basically you got the neck sticking out and the face is right at your couch. But at least you can hold on to the nubs if you're watching porno. You know, yeah. Harlan Williams, he did the improv this weekend. Do not miss this show. So there you go. See, that's, that's, you know, taking it,
Starting point is 00:34:42 taking it to the media in the morning. And you just got to, you got to wing it, you got to improvise, you got a lot of times I'll make up my own topics just so it doesn't get too serious. I'll just kind of pick a random weird thing, like UFOs or draft nubs, or something twisted. I'll kind of throw it in there and kind of lead the conversation a little bit, and we end up having a lot of fun with kind of kooky topic. So that's kind of a behind-the-scenes look on how that works.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Now, just remember, okay, so a lot of cities, they'll get me up at like 5.30, 6 in the morning, and that's just one radio station, okay? So let's say I go on a Thursday morning. there are some cities where I'll do four or five of those back to back. We drive all over the city, and I've got to be on for all of those. And then throw into the mix. Sometimes we have one or two TV, local TV interviews in between the radios. And then wait, that's not all.
Starting point is 00:35:52 That's Thursday morning. Then I do a show Thursday night. I'm usually up to one or two in the morning because the show is at night. Guess what I do Friday morning at. 6, 5, 6.7 a.m. Boom. A whole other round of the same thing.
Starting point is 00:36:10 So, it's pretty grueling. It's pretty exhaustive. It takes a lot of mental energy and it can tire you out. So for those of you that think, you know, stand-up comedians are like, wow, what a job. You only work like an hour a night. You go on stage and make people laugh
Starting point is 00:36:26 and then you sleep in all day and you no, no, no. There's a lot of different layers and things. going on with that type of work. So there's a little sneak, a little peek behind the curtain. I hope you enjoyed it. If you do let me know, if you thought it was a waste of time, let me know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Trying to give you a little insight into that thing there. Like I said, you can always leave me a voicemail at 323-739-4-3-3-3-0. Or you can write me at Harlandwilliams.com. Let's do a few announcers. That brings us to the end of the show here. Went a little bit longer than normal. But why not? It was a tasty treat, boys and girls.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Charles, Oh, Nelson Riley. What is wrong with me? Oh, God. You see, all that staying up late affects me. All right, let's do some announcements. If you want to see me live in concert, the next one is going to be in Seattle, Washington,
Starting point is 00:37:37 at The Parlor Live. Go to Harlow Williams.com and get your tickets. That'll be November 21st through Saturday, the 23rd. It's going to be awesome. And then early in December, if you're up in Vancouver, Vancouver, Canada, British Columbia, I am going to be playing yuck yucks up in Vancouver, British Columbia. Wow, I haven't played, I don't know if I've played yuck yucks in Vancouver in like 20 years.
Starting point is 00:38:10 So I'm really excited. I hope everyone comes out and catches me in Vancouver at yuck yuck yucks. Don't forget to go to our store. We got T-shirts. We got DVDs, music art, all kinds of fun things. And what else? You can just subscribe to my YouTube channel at harlornwilliams.com. Lots of kooky videos to look at.
Starting point is 00:38:38 And tell your friends about the Harland Highway. Check out ATC, all thingscomedy.com, which is the network where you can find this podcast as well. But there's other funny comedians on there, too. And it's all good. It's all happening, gang. So there you go. Thanks for listening.
Starting point is 00:38:58 everybody. And just watch out for moths. You don't want to end up naked in the street because some moths ate your pants. So that's it. Until next time, the moths can eat my clothes, but I'm going to eat a great big bowl, a chicken chalemaine, baby.

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