The Harland Highway - 532 - ANNUAL Thanksgiving DAY PARADE, LIVE, and other Thanksgiving stuff!

Episode Date: November 28, 2013

Yes it is here, the 59th Annual Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade! We are going live to the streets where John Walters and John Starter, call the parade, commenting on all the glorious floats coming down the street. Also a bunch of other Thanksgiving stuff and... the Turkey Song. Giblet my nibblet!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, this is Harlem Williams. It's Thanksgiving. Yeah, that's the turkey saying Thanksgiving. Today is our special Thanksgiving Day podcast. What a treat. You can smell the stuffing in the air. You can actually see the stuffing in my hair. That's where I put it.

It gives my hair body. I put Thanksgiving stuffing in my hair. It's the only way I can connect with Thanksgiving is to put hot, warm, stuffing in my hair. Yeah, don't try to copy me. Anyways, today, all Thanksgiving. Of course, we have the Harland Highway 17th annual Thanksgiving Day parade. It's going to be unbelievable.

John and John will be out there calling the parade, looking at the wonderful floats coming down the street, talking about the crowd, and just a festive, festive parade. every year. It's just wonderful. Really good time. Gather the family around for that one. Also, we're going to be talking about actual turkeys, real turkeys that live in the wild. We kind of forget that they're out there.

I think they all live on a farm. We're also going to be talking about the etiquette of when you go to somebody's house, turkey and food and all the trimmings. It's going to be wild. Give thanks because you're here on the harlems. Highway! Welcome to the Harland Highway. I will look for you. Does your mother know what you're doing for a living?

The Harland Highway. Hey-yo. And it's classic. I will find you. My mom always said. You can't handle the truth. Many years of therapy. Many, many, many.

Fucking years of therapy. I will kill you. Well, I! Listen, lame. Let an expert show you how to do this. The Harland Highway. You never know what you're going to get. It's the Harland Highway.

Cut a bong. Hey, everybody, happy thanksgiving. Good Lord. Good to have you here. Let's give thanks right out of the gate. My thanks to you for being here, for being pavement pounders, for being part of the Harland Highway. Highway podcast experience, not to be confused with the Jimmy Hendricks experience.

Two different things. Mine's cool, his wasn't. What? Wait. So thanks, everybody, for being here. We give thanks for our health, our happiness, our jobs, our families, our bottles of Coca-Cola in the fridge that I love. We love so much. Chocolate cake.

I give thanks. Butter sauce. Lobster. You know, come on. There's the list. French fries drive-thrus. Thank you, drive-thrus. Thank you, French fries at drive-thrus.

Thank you, curly fries. Thank you. Big day. Probably spending it. with your family, your friends, having a turkey. Of course, we will be playing our regular Thanksgiving song at the end of the show like we do every year. We won't miss the turkey song.

And what is the Thanksgiving turkey? You know, you probably think of the turkey that's running around in the barnyard. But did you know that there's wild turkeys all over America? In fact, not too long ago, I was driving around in Florida, and a wild turkey flocked right out at me. Yeah, he flocked me. And they're great big birds. They strut around in the bushes.

They're like wild birds, like a seagull, or a crane, or an egret, or a blue jay. Yeah, turkeys peck around in the bushes, gang. And they're big. They're big birds. I don't know how many of you have seen them, but I think a lot of people might not know that. That's why I'm bringing it up. I think a lot of people might think that turkeys are just like these farm-raised critters.

Like, you don't see cows out in the wild. You don't see sheep roaming around in the bushes. You don't go walking through the woods and bump into a calf or, you know, a goat. So in case you're wondering, turkeys are still wild. I mean, there are farm-raised turkeys. That's where most of us get our turkey from. But the real turkey is a wild. It's big.

It's a big boy. It's like, you know how they used to say, or they still say that velociraptors and dinosaurs came from birds? If you look at a turkey strutting around with its big, like, scaly legs and its big eye and its neck going back and forth, you can see it. You can see it probably evolved into a velociraptor. Maybe that's what we're eating at Thanksgiving is like baby velociraptors.

Mmm. Yum. Would you like some white velociraptor meat or dark? Or would you like some of the stuffing out of the velociraptor? the Thanksgiving Velociraptor. Sorry. Anyways, great show today. We will be, what's that?

Oh, they're ready for us? Okay, well, I was about to announce it, but it looks like they're ahead of me. We have the Thanksgiving Day parade, the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day parade, with our commentators, John Walters and John Starter. And they are in the booth up over the highway looking down at the floats and the marching bands and all that stuff without any more

delay, let's take you now to the 23rd annual Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade with our commentators, John and John. Guys, are you there? Yes, we are here, Harland, at the 29th annual Harlan Highway, Santa Claus. Yes, Harland, we are here at the 27th annual Harlan Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade. I'm John Starders, and I'm John Walters, and I just... Let me interject here. Well, I was just about to say something, John.

Thank you, John, but before you do, I just want to say, what a wonderful sunny day and all kinds of people lining the streets here. We're going to have some incredible floats, all kinds of activity, families out there, John, balloons, people dressed in vibrant, wonderful costumes, just a wonderful, wonderful atmosphere here today. Well, thank you, John, and I don't appreciate you interrupting me right out of the gate. I'm sorry, John, I just wanted to set the stage. Well, there you are interrupting me again right now. Well, go ahead, John, here we go. Yes, I just want to say it is a wonderful day, weather-wise.

Now, using the word weather, it is still open to interpretation, weather, and I'm doing air quotes here, whether this will be a great day for a parade. As you know, last year, it was not really working, John. Well, you know, last year we did have some bumps, some glitches, but that was last year, John, and this is this year, and I think we're in for some real treats here today. Well, as they say in the pastry world, there are chefs that bake treats all day, and sometimes those treats go sour, sometimes those treats just don't have the right ingredients, sometimes the yeast just doesn't rise in the oven, John.

Well, let's see if we can cook up some wonderful treats here today. And look at that, John. Here comes our first float coming down the middle of the road here. And what a treat that is. Well, I don't know if anyone here considers stinkholes a treat. Now, what do you mean stink holes, John? Well, this is the annual group of people who scrape the streep with the creep streep. I'm not sure what that means, John.

I don't either, but I had to say it. These are the people who make the manhole covers that cover up the manholes in the middle of the street. And what a job they do. Look at the circular plates on their heads, John. It looks like they have manhole covers on top of the street. their heads. What a bunch of little darlings. Why don't we just put the turd on the

table, John? Now what does that mean, John? Little turd darlings is what they are. Let's be honest. Manhole covers cover up sewers. Okay? What goes on in a sewer? That's where all the crap goes

that you and I and everyone on these street flushes every day. Some like to call it shit river. Okay. John, I don't think we want to go there. I don't know if you've ever canoed up shit river, but that sucker stinks like a dead giraffe. Okay, John, well, let's focus on the actual float down there.

We've got the clowns with the sewer grates on their head, and then look at their float. Oh, they've got a great big floating balloon. It looks like Captain Sewer. He looks a bit like Superman, John. Yes, except he's all stinky and brown. How about Captain Super Turned? Well, I don't know.

That's what that is. This float stinks. That balloon is a loser, and it's not really working, John. Well, I think everybody's clapping and enjoying it. Yeah, that's probably because they're trying to hold in their next movement, John. All right. Well, let's move on to the very very... next float john yes let's because that one as i said is not really working john well as a matter of fact

here comes the next float right now john and i think you can hear the the bagpipe music yes unfortunately i can john it sounds like somebody ran over a bag of baby cats with a steamroller Well, let's not knock the Scots. There they come, down the street, and full regalia, John. And what a wonderful sound. This is the McIntosh Scotty McSotty's Toffee. Yes, John, Toffee. Bad for the teeth, bad for the complexion.

And dare I say, bad for this parade. Well, let's not knock him right off the bat, John. Look at these guys walking down the street. We have the bagpipers and coming in right behind them. Oh, boy, what a family treat. It's a bunch of giant sticks of toffee. I guess the gentleman inside are covered with toffee walking down the street. Not a good idea on a bright, sunny day like this, John.

As you can see, the costumes are glistening. It looks like they're melting to a degree. Yes, but that doesn't seem to bother the kids. Look at the look in the children's eyes as these giant sticks of toffee walk down the street, John. Yes, and oh my goodness, a couple of kids have bolted from the crowd, so overwhelmed with their affection for these toffee freaks.

Well, let's not... No, look, John. Oh, my God, they're hugging the children have run out and they're hugging the toffee freaks. at it. Oh, my God. It looks like they're stuck, John. Oh, boy. That's how you think you're right there, John. Oh, my God. These kids, it looks like they're stuck to the toffee costumes like flies to fly paper, John. Oh, my goodness. You're right. There go the parents. They're trying to pull their children off these toffee costumes, and the toffee costumes just keep walking. They don't

seem to be aware, John, that there's children stuck to them. Oh, there goes some more children. Five, six, looks like a baker's dozen of these kids stuck to the toffee bastards. Well, we don't want to call them bastards, John. Well, what would you call someone who's a grown individual dresses like toffee on a hot summer day and let kids get stuck all over them? Those kids probably have a day or two to live before they expire, John. And for that reason, this segment of the parade is not really working, John.

Well, I think we'll be able to get some assistance down there and get those kids pulled off of that toffee. Yes, but for now, they're stuck like crap to toilet paper, John. And oh, my goodness, it looks like a couple of the toffee bastards have fallen over, and the kids are being squished. Oh, my goodness, I can see some little arms and legs sticking out from underneath. And now the Toffee people are stuck to the road, and those kids are suffocating to death, John. Here comes the paramedics.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, boy, oh, boy, I think the look at the little arms and legs have stopped kicking. They're trapped, and the children are trapped underneath this big, giant sun. stick of melting toffee it's like watching the blob you remember that old horror movies john when the blob came to town and crawled all over everybody and skim them alive and ate their bones well yes i do well that's what's happening here except it's happening to children they're covered with toffee from these toffee bastards a really poor choice for a float for a segment of the preyed dead children gooey sticky candy not really working john all right well we better jump through a break let them clean up the mess down

there john and uh we'll be back with more floats on the 12th annual harland highway Thanksgiving day parade oh my god look at that oh they're just they looked like did someone vomiting up a cabbage roll john oh my Wow, we'll be right back. Not really working, God. Mercy's sakes, things are not going well there at the parade today. Yikes, that's strange. Well, we will check back in with John and John as the parade continues on Thanksgiving there.

Very exciting, very festive, a lot of great energy in the air. but people get very excited about Thanksgiving and one thing they really get worked up about is their food people really have their customs when it comes to food people get ingrained they get entrenched they get they get really steadfast when it comes to their own Thanksgiving recipes and the things that they like to prepare

It's hard to move people off the needle when it comes to how they prepare the turkey, how they cook, the dishes they create. You know, it seems like once a family decides to cook a turkey a certain way or prepare the meal a certain way, that's it. That's custom. You know, you could come up with a better way to bake a turkey. You could come up with a tastier way to bake a turkey. And they're like, oh, yeah, you know, that sounds good.

But, you know, we do it this way. We put the oven on, and then we basted it 17 times, and then we turn it around sideways, and then we hang it upside down in the shower for half an hour. And then I let the kids kick it around in the yard like a soccer ball just to, you know, loosen up the flesh. and then we put, actually we put shampoo and conditioner on the skin to give it a tender, moist taste. You know, people get really locked in on how they prepare their bird.

Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your own. bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy,

or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harlan. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. The new BMO ViPorter MasterCard is your ticket to more. More perks, more points, more flights, more of all the things you want in a travel rewards card, and then some.

Get your ticket to more with the new BMO ViPorter MasterCard and get up to $2,400 in value in your first 13 months. Terms and conditions apply. Visit bemo.com slash ViPorter. to learn more. And, you know, I've had conversations with people where I'll, I'll suggest little things that I do that I think make my turkey taste better, or they'll suggest things to me, and it'll be, yeah, yeah, that sounds good, okay.

I mean, that's the way you do it. I mean, it's never going to be as good as the way I do it, of course, but no, I appreciate the suggestions. Look, hey, sounds, hey, sounds good. Sounds delicious. I mean, you know, if you like delicious. Now, if you like super fantabulous, deliciousio, super wonderful, well, then you got to do it the way I do it. But, you know, you have your methods, and I respect that.

I mean, that's probably how they do it down at the soup kitchen or over in India. Or, you know, probably there's probably some remote Amazon. and, you know, lost tribe that prepares a turkey that way. But you do what you got to do, guy, you know. Oh, yeah. And then some people are, like, stuck, like, right down to the dish. Like, they might do, like, a green bean casserole and the yams and maybe some corn or something.

But, God forbid, you try to, you know, inject a new dish into their, army of traditional dishes yeah how about whipped mashed potatoes with goat cheese um hello

it's Thanksgiving it isn't Wolfgang Puck's birthday do you mind just leaving your gourmet suggestions at the door we do it this way thank you God or God forbid you

bring over a dish you think you know what they invited us for thanksgiving i'm going to make a casserole or i'm going to make a salad of some kind or i'll surprise them with the uh you know the jello uh turkey fingers or whatever you know you make something up that comes from your wheelhouse and you show up with this glass casserole tray with the tinfoil over it and you you know they answer the door they're like oh hey oh hey how you do it and then their eyes drift down to that thing you have in your hand your you're offering your food offering and you kind of see their eyes drift down to the tray look back up at you and their and their mind is going what the hell is in his hand what the hell

did he did he bring his own dish oh my god what are we going to do we don't we don't eat other people's dishes this is our house this is our thanksgiving we invited them who do they think they are bringing their own dish. Oh my God! And then, you know, inevitably they set it on the table, but it's a castaway dish. They put it off to the side. Hey, dig in, everybody. Dig in. There's lots of food for everyone. Dig in. And if you want the marshmallow bean salad, it's over there on the other table.

Yes, the other table in the other room. It's in the den. We locked it in the den. But if you want some, Thank you, Bill, for bringing that. It looks delicious wherever it is. So you got to be careful. When you go to Thanksgiving, there is tradition to deal with. Make sure you understand the protocol.

If you're going to someone's home, make sure you understand how it works. Because, boy, oh, boy, you don't want to rock the Thanksgiving dinner food boat, man. you just don't you you won't be invited back to that place i promise hey are we inviting the davidsons this year are you kidding did you see those assholes brought a coleslaw last year who the hell do they think they are bringing coleslaw into our home

we're here to give thanks not be one-uped by the davidson's what are they trying to kill us why didn't they just whip up a big batch of rat poison. How dare they? Can you imagine how our turkey felt when it saw that strange coleslaw come into our home? Oh, that poor bird. I saw it crawl back into the oven to get away. It was ridiculous. So there you go. Happy Thanksgiving. Have fun, but boy, oh boy, please know the rules. Well, we are back here. I'm John Walters and I'm John starters and we are here at the 27th annual Thanksgiving Day parade here on the Harland Highway. We are up in the booth looking down. The streets are lined with the happy,

excited people, children, the elderly and yes, John, all kinds of people. It looks like everyone's come out for this parade and sadly unfortunately so far it hasn't really been working well let's not say that john there's a lot of parade to go and coming down the street right now oh my goodness here we go this is the first time we've had these people in the parade it's the breast awareness foundation and look at that giant float coming right down the middle of the road oh my God, John. It's a giant 78-foot breast floating in the air.

It's a giant floating balloon. The ariolize are the size of somebody's backyard swimming pool. Disgusting and vile, John. Well, let's not say that, John. I mean, it is an important cause. Breast

awareness examinations are very crucial to women in this day and age to make sure they check their breasts. for any type of cancer or yes john but does it need to be in a parade i mean look at that giant meat melon floating down the middle of the street children looking up at that nipple thinking it's some kind of bald cyclops floating through the air well it is a little intimidating john i'll give you that a little intimidating that breast is so big if it floated into the back of the statue of liberty's head

It would knock her right on her ass, John. Well, it is a giant, giant breast. But as I said, John, breast self-examination is very important these days. Examination, awamination. This is a family parade. What's next? A giant set of testicles floating down the street, John. I mean, really, there's children in the crowd.

There's old people. Well, let's not forget, John. We all grew up suckling on a breast. when we were babies, it's not like it's a foreign entity. Yes, but it is a big, giant piece of meat that is not appropriate for this parade. I mean, let's keep breasts in the bra, not floating down the middle of the Thanksgiving Day parade. Well, John... Wait a minute, there's something happening here.

It looks like, oh my God, the breast has floated into the side of a building by mistake it's getting squished between oh my god it's breaking loose it looks like it's trying to squeeze its way down an alley and as the balloon as the float gets squeezed oh my god it looks like milk is squirting out of the front of the nipple oh my god there's milk being blasted all over the crowd oh my god people are floating away down the street john there's children covered in white gooey creamy breast milk Oh, my God, what a nightmare. Oh, my goodness. This is not good, John.

That breast is really lactating. I'll tell you what. I haven't seen water squirt that hard since Niagara Falls went on vacation to Florida. I don't know what that means, John, but they better get that under control. Holy smokes, look at that. Giant, giant 87-foot breast stuck between two buildings and squirting breastmilting breastmilk. all over the anticipating crowd. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. There's people actually letting their mouths hang open and they're drinking the milk like rainwater. This is vile. This is disgusting. And I'll say it out loud, John. This giant breast and this parade is not really working, John. All right, we better cut away.

Will they fix that up? Holy smokes. Things are getting a little crazy here. We'll be right back with more of the Harland Highway 19th annual Thanksgiving Day Parade. Good Lord. What is getting out of hand over there, man? Wow. Well, I think we're going back one more time to do the end of the parade.

Is that right, Roger? They're doing this last break, and then we're going to catch the very end, I guess the end float of the parade. All right, that sounds good. Well, I guess we're at the time in the show where we do this every year. Every Thanksgiving is a little treat. We play the turkey song here for you. And I think right about now is just the right time to let that rip.

So here we go. Without further ado, happy Thanksgiving, everybody, to you and your family. and let's all give thanks for each other. I give thanks that you're out there listening and you give thanks that I'm so handsome. What? What? Is that I can't say that?

Okay, I'll let you decide what you give thanks for, but I do give thanks for you guys being out there, the pavement pounders, everybody listening to the show. Let's celebrate Thanksgiving. Here it is. We do this every year. Let's roll the turkey song. To the pilgrim and his flag,

Roll, roared to Plymouth Rock To eat turkey, go, go, go, go, go, go, go back. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, give thanks. from at his feast. Young, young, young, young, eat a bird beast. It got to me. Gabo, go, go, go, go, go, go back.

Gaw, go, go, go, go. To me. Gov, go, go, go, go. Go, go, go, go. Get back. The killed from and then whites slice, slice, slice, slice it night They fought turkey Comeo, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, give thanks

Gova, come, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, gou, goa, goa, goa, turn me. Comea, come, come, goa, goa, goa, goa, goa, give thanks. Well, here we are, John, at the final float of the 95th annual Harlan Highway Thanksgiving Day parade. And what a wonderful day it's been. What an incredible outing today, John. Yes, what an incredible day. That is if you like sour milk and rotten lemons, John. What does that mean, John?

Let's face it. This brain has left a sour taste in everyone's mouth, and it's no better than a glass of rotten, sour lemonade, John. Dead children covered with caramel. We've had all kinds of mishaps, a giant breast jam between two buildings, squirting, lactating, aerolai milk all over children and families. There was an old lady in a wheelchair drowned from the breast milk squirting in her gaping, drooling mouth.

It's just been one fiasco after another, John, and so far this parade is not really lurking. Okay, John. Well, let's get down to our very last float. Let's kick it off with a bang. Here they come. The Solar Inc. Solar Panel Company. And look at that giant, giant solar panel floating down the street. We have people pulling it on strings.

They have solar panels on their heads like giant hats. What a cute and wonderful and timely float. What do you mean timely float? John. Well, we live in a society where everyone's trying to go green and help the environment, and these people are stepping up to the table. Forget about helping the environment, John. How about helping this sour milk lemon grease of a parade? I mean, are you kidding me? A giant solar panel on a sunny day? If that thing rotates the wrong way, we're going to have a lot of problems down here, John. It looks like they're holding the strings very tightly.

I don't think there's any chance of the giant solar panel float turning and facing into the sun, John. Well, trouble is a little sister just waiting to be born. I'm sure you know that saying. Oh, no, I don't think I've ever heard that one, John. Well, take a look right now as fate would have it. Look at that. One of the old people holding the strings

and why they have a senior citizen trying to hold up a giant preyed float is beyond me. He's just tripped on a manhole cover, twisted his ankle. He's down on the ground. Look at that, John. And now we see the mayhem start to happen. Oh, my goodness. It looks like it started a chain reaction, John. That's right.

It looks like the giant solar panel. This thing must be about 80 feet by 80 feet across. Exactly. It's starting to rotate a little, and it looks like it's pointing closer and closer to the direction of the sun. Here it comes. Hold on to your garlic toast. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, John. It's turning into the sun, and the reflective light is beaming down onto the crowd. Oh, my God. People are evaporating and blowing up, and oh, my God, they're melting. They're disintegrating as we sit here and talk, John. Oh, there goes some children,

barbecued like Tony Roma's ribs on Thursday's All You Can Eat Rib Night. Oh, my goodness, I just saw four people in a wheelchair burst into flames. Look at the beams of light coming off that solar panel, reflecting right down onto this crowd of families and innocent people. Oh, there goes a bunch of Boy Scouts, burning up like kindling fire on an all-night barbecue at a nudist colony. Oh my God, there's just fire after fire.

John, I think we better end it here. We better end it here because that fucking thing's getting closer to our booth and we're going to be on fire any second. I'm John Walters and I'm John starters. This has been the 29th annual Harlan Highway Thanksgiving parade and it's not really working. Have a great Thanksgiving, ladies and gentlemen. Let's get the fuck out of here.

That thing's coming right at us. Not really working, John. Let's go, John. It's not really working. Um, Roger. Are they, are they done? Are they, you cut the feed? Wow.

They just ran out of the booth. Good Lord. Unbelievable. Wow, wow, wow, wow. That, sorry about that, folks. That is a scary way to end. and the Thanksgiving Day parade. Mercy.

Merciful meat mash. Wow. Okay. Well, that's the parade. I hope you enjoyed it. Some wonderful floats. It seems like one of the Johns really loved the parade, and the other one just didn't seem to get any traction with him.

So I guess one thumbs up, one thumbs down. I hope you enjoyed it, gang. and we'll be back next Thanksgiving. Hopefully John and John are still alive. Roger, you want to check in on them? Yeah. Wow. Okay.

Well, nonetheless, despite the parade going a little awry at the end, let me wish you happy Thanksgiving. Have a great one. Have fun with all your friends and family. Give thanks for everything good in your life. I know sometimes in life things can stack up on us and we think about our bills and our mortgages and our problems in our relationships and blah, blah, blah.

But, you know, with all that stuff going on, try and take a moment to just sit down somewhere as the sun setting or sit in front of a fireplace with a nice hot chocolate or an apple cider. Put your arm around someone you love. Maybe just look at yourself in the mirror and go, man, There's always little conflicts in my life, but the good news is I'm here, I'm living, I'm doing things, I'm helping other people, I'm contributing, I'm, you know, just you're in it. You're in it, you're in it, and as long as you're not, you know, six feet under, you're way ahead of the game. So you got a lot more to give thanks for than you do to worry about.

So think of all the good stuff, put the bad stuff behind, just keep moving forward because when you get two, three years down the road, when you think of the negative stuff, I bet you don't even think about it anymore, right? Think about your last girlfriend or boyfriend. Think about the last time you had muddy problems. Think about the last time you were stressed three, four years ago, and you go, boy, I was so stressed then,

now I don't even think about it. And that's what I'm saying. Just be present, be in the here and now. Give thanks for your friends, your family, the laughter, which is what I try to give. And again, most of all, I thank you guys for being part of the show and tuning in. And let's keep the laughter going. If you want to see me live for some laughs,

if you're up in British Columbia in Vancouver, Next week, I will be there at Yuck Yucs in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, Thursday, December 5th through Thursday, December the 7th. And then to kick off the new year, yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen, yours truly will be in Orlando, Florida. Oh, yeah, first gig of 2014, Orlando, Florida at the improv January 2nd to the 5th. And then the following week, I'll be in Irvine, Orange County, Irvine, California at the Improvon, Irvine, January 9th to the 12th. Check out Harlan Williams.com. You can always write me at Harlan Williams.com if you want to leave a comment, or you can call and leave a voicemail 323739-433. And please check out the store at Harlewilms.com.

Lots of good Christmas ideas to give to your friends and family. And, you know, show them you give thanks by buying them something that makes them laugh. That's it, gang. Once again, happy Thanksgiving, everybody. And until next time, I want to say enjoy your turkey, but I got to say chicken, chalmie, baby. Slice, slice it with their night. They part turkey. Come, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, giv back.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.