The Harland Highway - 559 - Harland gets a visit from his little SISTER.

Episode Date: March 3, 2014

Today my little sister Barbara is visiting California and sits down to chat. Blink von Stinky!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a family affair. It's a family affair. Yeah, it is a family affair. What a wacky, weird show it is today. By the way, Harlem Williams here. Welcome to the Harland Highway podcast. Good to have y'all, y'all-a-a-a-postrophe-L-L-L. good to have y'all here um the reason i saying it's a family affair because this is kind of a first for me

this is a little weird um i have a special guest on the show today and in all the uh episodes we've done we've done over like 550 episodes god is it that many wow um i've never had like a sibling on or a direct family member i've had my cousin uh kevin on before but he's my first cousin, but I've got four sisters and a mom and a dad, y'all, and I've never had any of them on, so my little sister, Barbara, was down to visit me, and she just came for a week to kick back and chill and hang out with her older bro. That's me. And so I thought, why not throw her on it?

We'll just talk about her week of vacationing in Hollywood and California. So here we go. So enjoy me and my little sister here on the Harland Highway. You just made a wrong turn onto the Harland Highway. I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be me out here for you. It's like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. I'm funny how. I mean funny like I'm a clown. I amuse you.

Like I took the wrong week to quit drink. I make you laugh. I'm here to fucking amuse you. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams. I'd buy that for a dollar. What was it we had for dinner tonight? Well, we had a choice. Steak, fish. Yes, yes, I remember. I had lasagna.

What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny? It's like I picked the wrong week to quit am fit of me. She's got a thought for Samantha Pintasai. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Get the wrong week, quickness and do. Oh, yes.

Yes. You are here, ladies and gentlemen, on the Harland Highway, and what a show I've got today. This is a special treat for me. I hope it's a special treat for y'all. I've never had a direct family member on my show before. I've never had a direct sibling come down from the cold howling winds of Canada and sit in studio and be interviewed on the Harlan Highway. So this is, I don't know if I've told you guys.

I have four sisters and my youngest sister. I call her my little sister, although she's not little anymore. but she always will be in my mind. She's here right here sitting here looking at me like I'm a moron, which is completely accurate. Am I a moron? Yes. Oh, thank you.

There's your confirmation. So, folks, say hello to my little sister Barbara Williams is here. How are you, Barbes? I'm good, Har. How are you? I'm great. It's great to have you here down visiting for a whole week in Sunny Cali. Yes.

What was the weather light? when you got on the plane in Toronto and got out of town? It was howling cold, I would say, Har. Yeah, lots of snow and ice? A lot of snow and ice, yep. Howling cold? What does howling cold sound like? Can you make that noise?

It sounds like, Har, have you ever felt the polar vortex? It swirls through your hair. Yeah. In your ears of your nose. down your pants Polar Vortex If you've never heard Polar Vortex

And you probably haven't Yeah But it's a polar vortex I know but how I'm asking how does it physically sound If I were to hear it in my ears What's the noise it makes? Is it like a bird call?

Is it like... It's like this Polar vortex Good Lord That's creepy That's just wrong That's why I left Toronto Park.

Polar Vortex. Correct. Does Polar Vortex have strep throat by any chance? What is that? It can give you strep throat, which is why it sounds so evil and ominous. God, it sounds like it's got mono or something. Polar vortex. Creepy.

Yep. All right, I'm never, ever going back home to Canada. No, you shouldn't. No. Well, you just scared the polar vortex out of me. Correct. Well, it's great to have you here. I don't get my family down here enough.

And Barb just called me out of the blue one day. She goes, hey, Har, it's February. And I'd like to come down and hang for a week. And I'm like, great, when? She gives me the dates. And like three weeks later, bang, she's here. Here I am. And I had a great time with you here.

This is our last night, so I thought we'd like, well, I know. It's sad, but don't blame me. You booked the ticket. You could have booked it for another three years, but a week. Well, I need to get back to the Vortex, the Polar, vortex. Correct. But we had a good time, and I thought, you know, the last night, why don't we, like, kind of give the folks who are listening,

the pavement pounders, a play-by-play of our little, deal here. All right. So what happened? I pick you up at the airport. Okay. No hassles there. No terror alerts or anything.

Nothing. You were there on the sidewalk with your bag. And as soon as you get in the truck, what do I give you? A little present. The wet willie? Oh, boy. You forgot already. Oh, the hat.

The hat. The hat with the three eyes. Three eyes. Yes. And not only that, but what about the hat? Hats, plural. Party, no, not party hats, exactly. Vacation hats.

Yeah, but when I say plural, what do I mean? More than one. Meaning two. We had. Matching hats. Thank you. God. I got us two kooky hats, a bottom on Melrose Avenue, and some local artist, he did a great job.

I guess we should call them potato hats because he painted eyes all over them. Yes, our potato hats. Mine was pink and yours was blue. Blue. Yes. Which I wasn't going to wear the pink one and give you the manly blue one. Okay. Although the shade of blue isn't all that manly.

It's kind of like a powdery sky blue, so I can't say it's super manly. Okay, but you know I could beat the crap out of you, whether I'm wearing the blue hat or not, but okay. You know, I don't know that I need people to hear that my little sister can beat the crap out of me. That's really probably not good for my image, my tough guy image. Whatevs are? Whatevs? I've never heard you say that in your life.

Suddenly you're a valley girl. Great. I've been here for a week. Yeah, okay. You picked up the lingo. It's better than polar vortex. Good Lord. You sound like Goblin or who's that creepy bald guy with the hair plugs on Lord of the Rings?

Precious. Yeah, what's that guy's name? Golem? I think so. He sounds like Golem with herpes or something. Well, he looks like he's been through some pretty bad weather. He looks like he's been through some pretty bad sexual encounters. He looks like he's got herpes, SARS, or herpes diabetes or something.

is what how many stick guys hair's falling out his eyes are he's like it's like he's been smoking crack and his VD and his skin's green and his teeth are rotten like he's been sucking on a salt look he's just horrible that's that's exactly what you said to me when you saw me when i got off the plane from Toronto I'm a little insulted well at least he's a celebrity so I gave you I give you that you look like a celebrity um so we get in the truck we we start driving and uh and then what was it was it our first day did we go down to the beach and rollerblade or was it the second the is that the second day i think that was the second day so the first day i'm starting to forget what we did oh we went to you came to the gym and we

played racquetball yes we did i tried to play racquetball we played i met up with comedian actor Christopher Titus, Chris Titus, and, and, uh... That's tight ass. Tight, that's tight ass to you. What a perv. Oh, I like playing racquetball with him, Har. You like playing with some tight ass? God, you are, you are just a perv tonight.

But, uh, so Chris Titus, and then we kind of went back and forth. There was like, I'd play with Chris, then you'd come in, I'd play with you. Yeah. Then I sat down and then you played with Chris tight ass. Yes, I did play with Chris. Tight ass. Yes. And that was fun, right?

Yes. Did you win or lose? It depends how you define winning. Well, what was the score? Did I touch Chris tight ass or didn't I? No, I mean with me, what was the score? Oh, no. You I don't touch.

You won. You won. Yeah, I won. But you, you are good. For someone who hasn't ever played racquetball, I thought you did a pretty darn good job. You gave it a good schoolyard try. No, I looked like a flailing gallum out there. But, yeah, it was good times.

Yeah, we had a good time. And then I think it was day two. We went down. No, that night we came back and we watched the news. You'd never seen the O'Reilly Factor. That's right. And we watched the O'Reilly Factor. And there's a big thing about the,

about the Canadian Keystone Pipeline, the oil pipeline. Right. And that night we went for sushi. We went for dinner, and we got in a big talk about the oil pipeline. Yes. And we had like opposing points of view, but then we had kind of similar points of view. And then we were like kind of throwing ideas back and forth about, you know, our theories on all that stuff. And at the end, we kind of segue it into like how the world should feel.

function on alternative sources of energy. Yes. And like everyone should just have solar or stuff like that. And we were kind of dismayed at why society hadn't adopted a more green approach to obtaining, you know, natural energy. Yes. So cut to the next day. And it was a good, robust talk.

I enjoyed it. I don't know if you did, but I sure did. And that was only night one. That was night one. Yeah. So the next day we go down to Santa Monica and we're on the beach and there's this beautiful, this beautiful rollerblading trail right through the sand, right on the water, the sun was shining, people were out, bicycling, people were doing all this stuff. And we were rollerblading along, and we just had this big talk about how society can't afford solar power. and we're riding along and we notice a homeless guy with a shopping cart and bags of garbage

and all this crazy stuff and lo and behold he has a solar panel attached to the top of his his pile of belongings and I say rubbish because it looked like a big pile of dirty junk right yes but he had a friggin solar panel up he did And we just about like flew off the rollerblade trail and crashed into the sand. We're like all these hundreds of homes and people with money around the country, around the world. And they're all saying, oh, the government and industry can't afford solar panels. And there's a homeless guy with a solar panel. But I got to wonder, what do you think he was running?

What was he generating power for? That's a good question. We never really got into that. Like, maybe he had, uh, uh, I don't know. Was he, was he then a little oven to burn his garbage in terms of recycling? I don't know.

A little oven to burn his garbage is what he has. Why else would he have it? He didn't have a house. He didn't have a, what if it was, um, what if it was to put, I think didn't he have an animal? Amplifier and a guitar or something?

Was it maybe to fire that thing up? I think that was the next cart along the way. Maybe his neighbors. He must have had something. Maybe under all his stuff he had like a TV or a flat screen or an electric Prius or maybe he was hiding something really good under all his rubbish. He could have been. We didn't check it out. We were just too stunned by the solar panel on the beach.

We were really stunned. We were like very taken about. back, but we applaud his effort, don't we? Yes. I mean, you've got all these people living in homes with money and jobs. No solar panels. No. Cut to the guy with the eight-foot beard and the toenails that look like Pringles,

and he's got a big solar panel. Freaky. So anyways, we did that, and then what else did we do? That was that day. Yeah. And then what did we do the other day? Oh, God. What didn't we do her?

Oh, we went out to the desert. Oh, yes, we did go to the desert. That was great. Now, let me tell you something really cool what my little sister does. I'm going to tell them about this. My little sister's an artist, and what she does is she finds old window frames and old picture frames, but mostly window frames, wooden window frames. and she takes the glass out, Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex?

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or old pieces of metal or things with shapes, things that, you know, old maybe pieces of discarded metal or a can or some wire, just things that most of us would walk over. And she likes to search around for these things and handpick these shapes and objects. And what she does is she hangs them inside the picture frame with wire and creates this incredible artwork that I have to tell.

tell you I just love. I think, and I'm not just saying it because you're my sis, I think it's amazing artwork. I love it. Thanks, Hart. Well, no. Thank you. And normally when you're up in Canada, you search around like on the shores of Lake Ontario, right? Yeah, Lake Ontario. Toronto is on the shores of Lake Ontario, one of the Great Lakes. Yeah. Is it the greatest or just no? It's not the greatest. No, it's just the best. It's, so there's four great lakes. and one bestis lake is that what you're saying that's right you heard it okay and so you find these objects and you kind of create a visual with them and uh i find them very rustic and very beautiful and and very they're full of imagination and uh i don't know i think they're great i want i want to tell

people more about them later on where they can actually go and look at them they can just look at them but if they fall in love with them they can actually purchase them and they'll be shipped out. True. So we went out into the desert in my big old truck, and we just went way out there. We were surrounded by Joshua trees, and, you know, we found dead deer carcasses

and skulls laying around. And I'm not even kidding. Didn't we find a bunch of dead animals? Oh, yeah, we did. Like we found a whole deer carcass. Yes, we did. Hose and all, yep. What was it?

There were hooves and skulls. and old ratty bodies. Yeah, it was all there. Yeah, so we're wandering around in the Joshua trees. Did you like those? Oh, yeah, they're awesome. And it was a beautiful sunny day, and one of the most striking things about going out into the desert is,

isn't it nice and quiet? It's beautiful. It's just beautiful. So we're wandering around in the desert, and Barbara's got like a little bag and some rubber gloves, and she goes in one direction, and I go in another direction. and we're literally just looking on the ground for old rusted pieces of wires.

And I think we found some old doorknobs and zippers. Yep. What else? Sardine can with the little key still in it. The metal was rolled up and this thing was completely rusted. It looks like chocolate. Yep. That's awesome.

What else? What else? Latches for doors. Yep. Those kinds of things. a little salt and pepper shaker lids. Yeah, we also found, you found a great old license plate, a California license plate just full of bullet holes.

Right. And to me, that was the Piaust of resistance. Thankfully, you donated that to me, and I'm going to hang it in my living room. I love that. Yeah, that was pretty cool. So anyways, we got a whole box full of really cool things, and that was a real fun day because we just got to be out there

in nature and poking around. And we must have stopped at about seven different spots. At least, yeah. Yeah, I mean, at one point, we're just kind of out in the open, and then other points you're in around rocks. And then we also found some old, like, buildings. We were poking around there. Yeah.

And that was really cool. So we got some really cool things. And I got to tell you, I can't wait to see the artwork you make with these pieces. Yes, thank you. It's going to be extra personal to me. me because I was there and was watching you, you know, I helped you find some pieces, but you found, you know, these great, we got a bunch of great stuff. Yep.

So we did that. We came in from the desert. Yeah. What was next? You tell them what was next. I'm doing all the talking air. Where did we, what happened next? Oh, gosh.

After that, I mean, we've been down to Melrose Avenue. We've been kicking around there. We've been down to Hollywood. Boulevard, you've been doing your thing, I've been doing mine, walking around. Yeah. Checking out the stellar impersonators down there with their costumes. The people on Hollywood Boulevard dressed up like, who'd you see? Spider-Man, Sylvester and Tweety, Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

Yeah. And they're all pretty ragged. Like, we saw Spider-Man go by, didn't he have, like, baggy jeans and, like, a skid mark on his, his spidey leotards at a skid mark, and his ass was all flabby. Yeah, and there was, like, uh, safety pins in the back of the outfit. Was there? Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, you don't see that in the spider, the, the $300 million dollar Spider-Man movies.

You don't see the safety pins in the back of the costume, do you? No, they're really good with their, with their movie magic and that. But, yeah, there was some interesting characters down there. And, of course, they're setting up for the Oscars. Oh, yeah, you saw them setting up all the bleachers for the Oscars. Yeah, and can we mention her? Can we name drop? Is this a show where you name drop?

Well, let's tease them. Let's tease them because that happened like towards the end. That happened yesterday. So since we're going in chronological order here, all right. Why don't we bait them? We not only bumped into a celebrity, but one of the top celebrities

probably in the world. Yes. And we're not even joking. So if you want to hear about a run-in with one of the tops, you're going to have to just bear with us for a few minutes, folks. Yes, bear witness.

No, bear with us, I said. Sorry, bareness. Not bareness. Okay. Bear with us. Bear this. Bear us. Bear us.

What is bear? I'm embarrassed to hear you talk at the moment. So, and then what do we do after that? You walked around, we went to a couple of the malls and stuff like that. Well, we've been out to eat a few times, sir. I've got to say, you know. In and out, of course. You got to bring your family to in and out burger.

That's just the law. Naturally. Did you love it? Loved it. Yeah. Although we don't like the fries, do we? No, they're spongy. They're spongy.

They're spongy. Yeah. Like, it's like eating SpongeBob alive, is that? A little bit, yes. Oh, wow. So, that kind of texture and flavor. So you've eaten a sponge before is what you're saying. I've licked a sponge.

I can't say I've eaten one. And why did you lick a sponge? You know, it was one of those spontaneous kind of drunken Cuba moments. Wow, you were in Cuba. Sure. And was this a sponge? Was this a sea sponge or was this like a sponge from like the 99-cent store? No, it's one of those dried ones on the side.

of a bathtub that you just, you know, you're in the bathtub, glass of wine, you know, a different location, you know, lover by the side of the tub, just watching you bathe. And you just lick a sponge. A dork. A lover by the side of the tub watching you bathe. What is that? How else do you take a tub in Cuba? Take a tub in Cuba. Correct. So you're, so you're, You're in Cuba. Yes. You're in the bathtub. Right.

And there's a guy just sitting beside the tub. Yes. Is he sitting on the toilet or is he sitting on the floor? Where is he? He's just kind of swaying beside the tub. Ew. He's swaying and just enjoying. Why is he swaying?

Because we're in Cuba. Wait, you said to sway, don't you have to stand? Yes, he's standing by the tub. You said he was sitting by the tub. All right. Okay, so he was sitting for part of it. When he got excited, he stood up, started swaying. That's about when I licked the sponge. Where was he sitting, though?

On the side of the tub. Do you have a tub? No, I don't have a tub. Well, there's your problem. And now that I've heard this creepy story, I never want a tub. I never want to take a bath, and I'm never watching SpongeBob ever again. You don't need to take a bath. You just stand by the, you stand watch, stand guard.

Engage with your lover in the tub and have a sponge ready. And instead of interacting with the lover, Right. You thought it would be much more sensual to lick a dry sponge. You just asked me if I'd ever tasted sponge before, and I'm just telling you that God honest truth, Carr. Wow. I don't know if you want to say God honest, because if he's listening right now,

you just lost some point. So we concluded that the in-and-out burger fries are spongy. They taste like licking a dry sponge in Cuba. Yes, they do. Okay. Except there's no lover with the fries. Yeah, there's just like the dashboard and the glove box. Exactly.

Well, just in defense of the in-and-out burger fries, I will say that when the fries come out nice and hot at In-N-Out burger, they're good. They're not spongy. Like, it's when they cool off. All right. They get, like, dry and spongy. I didn't experience the fresh, hot fry.

I know. You got, I felt bad because you got stuck with the spongy tuba sponge lick fries. Well, yeah. My trip was a little ruined, but I stuck it out for a couple more days here, her, despite the fry incident. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you did good. You powered through it.

I did. I did. And then we also, we bought a bunch of groceries, and we took a bunch of, bunch of like fish fillets out of the freezer. Yeah. Because we're going to do all this cooking. Right. And instead we just went out for every meal, which is the way I like it anyhow.

Okay. When Harlan says cooking, let me just interject with our grocery list, which included two creamsicle yogurts. Which you loved. Some pirate brand, no. Pirate's gold. Cheese puffs. Cheese puffs.

Yeah. Delicious. My mouth's watering. Limeade. Limeade. And some Swiss cheese squares. That looked like a lot like SpongeBob, by the way. Pretty much.

I should have licked those. I think you did lick them. I don't see any left. Okay. They've been licked. So this is my shopping experience with my brother. I threw in the avocado. and the lemon for the fish we were going to cook

and the dill and the butter. I bought some capers. He got capers. Yeah. With the cremicle. Yeah, but you heckled me for getting the cremcical like orange dream machine yogurt. You're like, who buys this? What's wrong with you?

And then you had one this morning. You're like, this is delish. Well, yeah. But what was I saying? It's like shopping with a 12-year-old boy with his food choices, everybody. Yeah. Well, I think people who listen to this show, I think they don't think of me as a shopping 12-year-old boy. I think they think of everything I do as a 12-year-old boy.

Okay. Well, then the shopping's in line with my, yeah. It's the real deal here. I can't. I guess I can't argue that. I mean, if you listen to this podcast, it does sound like a dumb-ass 12-year-old. old boy is at the wheel. I got to give you that.

And then we got our bread, of course, and I said, how do you have anything to spread on the bread? He's like, no. So what is he? He's like, what do you want, Skippy or Jiff? Yeah. Whereas I normally buy, you know, all natural peanut butter, fresh ground peanuts, and, you know, they do that, right?

Like old Greek men throw the peanuts in a big wine barrel, and they take their shoes off and stomp the, peanuts. I've licked a sponge, Char. It doesn't matter. It's all good. You need peanut butter from between the toes of an old Greek man. That's the only way I like it, actually. You got some peculiar, you've got a peculiar palate. Let me tell you that. So, needless to say, our home cooking didn't really happen.

It didn't happen. And now we have like two giant salmon fillets rotting in the fridge. I'll eat them when you're gone. I'll put them in the pool and we're I'm a grizzly bear, and I'll swat them out with my fingers. Perfect. Take pictures. And then we went for dinner, and we're getting close to our big celebrity siting. Oh, yeah.

We went to dinner at one of these places where you'd never tried this, the Kobe beef. Right. And I don't know if you folks have tried the Kobe beef, but it's little slices of Kobe beef, and they fire up a walk at your table and it's boiling. And what did we throw in there? We threw the Kobe beef in. Toffee, shrimp, onion, onion, scallions, mushrooms, noodles. I think I might have seen you throw a sponge in there now that I'm thinking about it.

I tried. And did you like the Kobe beef? You'd never had it. Yeah, and they have dipping sauces. Yeah, it was all good. That was really, really good. It was awesome. And we had the saki, the warm hot sake.

Okay, so now we went and had dinner at the big theater down in Hollywood. It's this big, like, complex where there's shops and restaurants and attached. It's right by the Man's Chinese Theater. That's the theater with all the concrete footprints in it. And attached right in the middle of that is the Kodak Theater where they shoot American Idol. And they also, by chance, do the Oscars there. So when you go in the underground parking, it's one of these underground parking structures

where you're like a mole. You have to keep going around in spirals and drive like almost to hell. You stop probably about 300 feet from hell when you spiral into this underground garage. Yeah. And so what I always do, there's a valet section that hardly anyone ever uses.

And so I just cut, I'm like, you know what, here's $12, park my car. I have no desire to spiral around in circles until I get 100 feet from hell. Okay? So I valet, we go up, we do the Kobe beef, we're coming down, it's about 9 o'clock at night. Right.

We get in the truck, we pay the valet guy, we're just about, I step on the gas, I drive about five feet, and a big black SUV comes at us the other way, but he's not in his lane. He's hogging both lanes. Yeah. So I had to slam on the brakes, and I couldn't get past.

And I'm like, what the hell's going on? And then why don't you take it from there? All right. So we're like, what the heck? And then there's just this big guy all suited up, and he just has his hand out, like, stop. Yeah. So we're stopped, and we're just looking around.

And then Har's like, it's bottom. There's Bono. And I'm like, what? Because I'm still trying to figure out why the heck we're stuck in this parking garage. There's no one behind us. No one in front of us is totally empty. Just us in this big black SUV. And I'm stopped by this guy.

So sure enough, out of this SUV comes Bono with his trademark sunglasses. Pretty necessary in the parking garage, of course. Yeah, we're underneath the earth's crust 100 feet from hell. and Bono's got the shades gone. Yeah, there must have been a glare off the truck, I guess. What's this guy got? Like, you know, scoliosis on the retina or something? So how do he comes with his wife?

And I said to Har, the most amazing part of it to me was not just that Bono was there, like two meters in front of us. But you can't, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't use the metric system. Most people that listen to this are not. Canadian. You've got to say feet. Eight feet, eight feet in front of us. Probably like six feet. He was like he was standing right at the hood of the truck pretty much. Hood of the truck. In fact, so anyways, there's this group of about five people that just appear. Yeah, they somehow knew he was there. In the bowels of hell and have this paraphernalia,

you two paraphernalia, ready for him to sign. So he's basically signing on the roof of the truck. and the hood He's right by the hood of the truck And I'm not Generally harm I'm not generally star-struck Because Well that's because you live in canon

You never see stars Maybe if you saw some stars You would And But this just It was just the most freaky Unpredictable thing And then to have this mob of five

who knew he was there. That's been the joke ever since then. I was just stunned. I didn't have the wherewith all to jump out of the truck and try and pull an autograph off this guy who was signing basically on the hood of the car. We just sort of sat there. It was like, Bono, he's right there.

Yeah, you were stunned. Yeah. And I said today many times, I think you're still stunned. I've still stunned. You've been like in a glaze all day long. You've been doing weird things. You're like, you're all out of sorts. I am saying things that don't make sense.

You've been doing things that are kooky. Yeah. You've been like, but you've got, you've been bonoed. I've been, or squibed. It's one of the two. I'm not sure. Oh, that's the other thing we did. We watched the Olympic hockey games.

There it is. We watched the women's hockey team win gold. Yeah. And we watch the men's hockey team win gold. And we're Canadian. So sorry you guys in the U.S. I know it hurts, but look, Canada doesn't get a lot of stuff where people get on their knees and bow and pray. Canadians rule hockey.

That's the one thing we got over everyone else in the world. So we're going to puff our chests out for that one. That's right. Congrats to Canada. But anyways, back to Bono. Yeah. So there he was. And you know what's interesting?

You're talking about all these people jumping out. Somehow they knew he was there. I don't know how. I just did a podcast, my last podcast, all the people listening will attest to this, I talked about, I spent 20 minutes talking about how that happens to me. Now, nowhere near the level of Bono, of course, but even me as like a comedian and an actor, I was telling the people on the last podcast, I'll go to radio shows at six in the morning and there'll be three, four, five people there waiting with all this paraphernalia. Yeah, it's totally weird. Like, I don't know how they could predict this guy would be in a parking garage, you know, level P5. Yeah.

And getting out to go to an elevator escorted by, like, four security guys that are there. And he went over, you know, if I didn't know any better, I'd almost say it was scripted. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's like they almost pay these people to be there so that he has something to sign to keep up his celebrity. No, no. These guys that are waiting. that they make a living out of it. They don't get the autographs to hang on their wall and go,

I got Bono's autograph, look at this. No, they get the autograph and go right to eBay and sell that crap. So it's their business to know where these guys are going to show up. I believe. And do you know what else they do? They pay people to let them know. They slip the publicist or somebody money. Hey, where's Bono going to be?

Because there's no way these people could know on their own unless they're have a crystal ball or a magic licked sponge or something. They needed to know, and that's why I was so disappointed in myself that I didn't jump out with the old. Carr had an envelope in his car from a letter he received from our 90-year-old uncle, and there's an envelope sitting empty. You had to bring that up. And I thought, why the hell did I not jump out of the truck since we were blocked off?

Yeah, we were blocked off. You know why? Because you were stunned. I was stunned. So I have pictures, like, with really crazy parking garage light glare. Yeah. I suppose it makes Bono look angelic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Certainly his eyes were protected from my flash with his yellow glasses. Yeah, that's true. He had those underground hell glasses on it. Yeah. But it wasn't the best pick. I have it. There's evidence. There's proof.

I got one, too. I never pull up, but I saw you pulling out your camera. I'm like, oh, what the hell? The guy's hanging out on the grill of my freaking pickup truck. Yeah. I can't go anywhere because he parked crooked. I smell a lawsuit. So let's take a picture of Bono 100 feet from hell in his underground mining glasses.

Yeah. And I think we both got Bonoed. But unfortunately, I wasn't stunned the way you were and I was able to drive. But you're still a bit stunned. I can't shake it off, Hart. Like how many fingers have I got up right now? You've got about 14 fingers up there. Yeah, well, really, it's four.

So you're just stunned. Yeah. You're Bono stunt. It's been tough. It's been tough to recover from that. You need a Cinnabano. We need to get you to the bakery and buy you a Cinebano. I think I need to extend my trip until these Oscars come and go, because I've got to revisit

this. I've got to connect. Maybe you should go to the Oscars and present an award, best stunned person, and then say your own name, and you're already on stage, so nobody has to come. them up. True. And the Oscar for Best Stunned Person who's been Bonoed, Barbara Williams in Cinnabano.

And then you can just hand yourself the award and get on your way. I think Bono should hand me the award. Bono should, but then you'll be double Cinnabonot. There'll be Baker's dozen Bono. There's nothing wrong with that. Wow. Nothing wrong with that. Okay, are you, you're a Bono fan, right?

Yeah, of course. Okay, good. Well, that was kind of exciting. Now, if you're going to see a celebrity in Hollywood, that's a good guy to see. Yes, it is. And to see him, it was almost like a private showing because outside of those three, four cooks jumping around with their pitchers, we kind of had Bono all to ourselves. You know, I think, you know, I really think Bono should have acknowledged that we were the one

car in the garage that was stocked for his easement of getting across. Oh, wow, you're right. He really should have come up to the car and said, what can I do for you? Yeah, you're right. Maybe he was stunned by us. I think he might have been thrown off by our courtesy and actually stopping when the man put his hand out. So we thought we were Bono stunned, but maybe he was William's stunt. I'm wondering because it.

Good call. Good call, Barb. He seems out of character for him not to care. Yeah, you're right. He's a caring man. You're right. And the reality is, I don't. even think he looked up and knew we existed. I don't even, I don't think I saw him look up at us once.

No, he was, he was kind of engaged. But, you know what I said, and this would have been really funny, because he was right at the hood of my car. Yeah. I said to Barb as we were pulling away, I said, I should have just blasted the horn. Yeah. And watch Bono, like, leave a Bono in his underpants, you know, just like scare, scare the living you two out of them. You know what I mean? I think you would have got headlocked by one of those guys. They can't. He's not, like, a president. He's not royalty. Well, he's kind of president of, what is he president of?

Sunglasses. Yeah, Sunglass Hut. If you're going to wear sunglasses under the earth's crust, you deserve a big horn. Yeah, I would have shaken things up. It would have been cool. He would have jumped. Like, if I leaned, because he, you know, A, you honk a horn in a garage that's under the earth's crust right next to hell. that echoes like you can fart in an underground garage and it sounds like someone banged a Chinese gong.

You know what I mean? Do you think Bono would have laughed? Bono would probably, we probably would have given him a heart murmur and he probably would have died. We might have murdered him. He could have killed Bono. But it would have been fun to see that little Irish guy. I blast the horn and he starts doing the river dance. He's so scared.

He starts like skipping around, pulls his pants up. He's got green leotards underneath his jeans. You start doing that crazy river dance. That would have been, we missed an opportunity. Yeah, we were stunned. Maybe I was stunned too. Yeah, there was a problem there. Fair enough.

We were both completely Bono stunned. Yeah. And then today we just chilled out. We really needed a day to recover from Bono. Yeah. And we went over to like Burbank and we looked around at some of the cool shops. And today was a bit low key, but we went to a really cool. restaurant. It was kind of like a hippie vibe. And so that was a nice way. We had a real nice

dinner and you've got to leave tomorrow. Yeah. And what a great trip. I loved having you here. It was so cool. Thanks, I'll be back. Okay. So now I want to tell the fan, the pavement pounders, that's what I call the people who listen to the show, the pavement pounders. Okay. And one of the listeners came up with that name. I did a contest. I was like, what should we call everyone who listens to the Harlan Highway. And a bunch of people submitted really cool names. Yeah. But do you think pavement pounders is cool?

I think it's great. Oh, good. Awesome. I like it too. So what I want to do is I'm really proud of my sister's artwork. I really think it's great. It's unique. It's one of a kind.

In this day and age, there's a lot of copycats out there. But the fact that you go out and go on this kind of treasure hunt, and hand-select these pieces. Yeah. And the thing about rust and pieces of metal and shapes and doorknobs and things like that, I feel like stuff like that that's old and has patina on it tells a story. Yeah. And so when I look at your stuff, it's not just like looking at an image,

but you start to imagine, you know, where did this come from? Where did this doorknob? What door did it open? And what is this old can? And you know what I mean? Yeah. You start thinking about stuff. And so I love your beautiful artwork.

And I want the listeners and no pressure to go by, but I'd love them to at least go and look at it. Sure. And if they see something they like, you can ship it out to them and they can purchase it online in your store, right? They can. And you know what? I even love feedback car, so they can reach me. Oh, really? I can give my email address, and even if there's comments about the work.

The email address is right there on the store site, right? They can leave. Yeah, yes, yes. The contact information is on the website. Yeah, so I even like that. To me, that's pretty much as valuable as any money is as well. Well, hey, we think it, I think it looks great. And why don't we tell the folks listening where they can go and view your artwork and they can judge for themselves?

You know, that's the beauty of art. You might hate it. You might love it. It might be in the middle. But I think it's great. So tell them the address for the store where all your art is displayed. Yeah, sure. You can find it at Situationart, all one word, dot.

big cartel.com. Situationartartartel.com. Right. And there's a little column there where if you want to leave a comment and, you know, say something about the artwork, you can write right there, or you can ask questions and blah, blah, blah.

Yep, you sure can. Well, and I also would like to get feedback here at the Harlan Highway. You know, if you guys have any comments, if you like my little sister's art, I'd love to hear from you, too, and see what you think. And, you know, I hope I don't sound too biased here, but I just, outside of her being my sister, I really think it's great stuff. So who knows, maybe one of you guys out there will pick one up and hang one proudly on your wall or something like that, or put it beside your bathtub next to the dry sponge. that's one of the best places in the world oh boy too soon too soon well barbs what a great trip we had thanks for coming down and visiting the old man for sure and hopefully you'll be back soon and any parting words before you you go i mean we didn't even talk about our childhood together we didn't even talk about that's a whole other how i half raised you are fishing our

fighting or laughing or I mean there's a whole lifetime to talk about. Yeah. We just talked about one week here in L.A. No, and you know all I can say in terms of parting words are is, you know, I'm really glad, you know, you have

your own place here, uh, no parents around because you know, if mom was here, I, I do fear you would tie me up in her nightgown once again. Uh, and that was a scary experience for me growing up and I'm hoping we're past that I tied you up in mom's nightgown

you tied me up in her nightgown what I thought I was going to suffocate I fell off the bed in a big bundle um it it might be why I lick sponges now I'm not sure wow it's nice to just do the one-on-one with with no other clothing yeah big enough to wrap me in so wow so it's been a good trip har there's a glimpse into our past as little kids. I used to tie my little sister up in my mother's nightgown and roll her off the bed. Yeah. And she almost suffocated. Correct.

But here I am, and I'll be back. You'll be back. Well, we hope you do come back. Thank you for doing the podcast. Like I said, the only other family member who's done it is our cousin, Kevin Hearn. Yeah. who has been down and done the podcast a number of times. But he's a cousin.

You're like my direct sibling. Yeah. So I win. You win. Thanks. And you know what your prize is? Bono. Nope.

Tied up in one of our mother's nightgowns. Congratulations. Let's go do that. We're going to get out of here. I got to go tie my sister up and roll her off the bed. She's so stunned from Bono. she won't know what hit her. Polar Vortex.

Polar Vortex. That's the only thing that can save you. All right, Barb, say goodbye to everyone. Goodbye, everyone. All right, that's my little sister, Barbara. Check out her art page. One more time with the website. Situationartite.

Dot big cartel.com. All right. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for being here, everybody. and let's do a few announcements and then we'll get out of here. See you, Barbes. See ya. Okay, so there she goes.

That's my little sis. Back to Canada, she goes. Back to the northern part of North America. She's Canadian. You know, we're all North Americans. We're just one big cluster of North America. You can say you're American or Canadian, but you can't fight. We're all.

north americans so there you go pudding pops um so that was her and uh i hope you enjoyed that talk uh hearing from my little sis i know we didn't really hit many uh big comedy topics or social political topic this was just kind of like a a friendly drop-in visit it was fun for me i don't know if you guys enjoyed it i hope so and uh i sincerely hope you'll check out her art page uh like i said not not forcing or pushing anyone to buy anything but uh i just really think she does some good stuff so i'd like you to at least look at it if you have the time and let's get to some announcements every bloody um speaking of time if you want to put in some time in dallas texas at the addison improv uh i will be there doing my live show it'll be march 13th to the 16th

and you can get your tickets at harlem williams.com or the improv.com uh well you're at harlem williams.com check out uh my store where we got some merch for sale for you wild cats um please uh subscribe to my youtube channel where we will be putting up wacky wild videos um all you have to do is click subscribe there's no charge there's no there's no gimmicks it's just if you want my silly videos that come through to you, you get to look at them before everyone else does. So it's kind of fun. What else can I tell you?

Check out all thingscom. ATC.com. That's the podcast network where you can find my show. Good stuff there. And that's it, man. Thanks for being here, as always. Always appreciate having you guys along for the ride down. the highway and uh i'm going to close it up uh we'll catch you next time here on the harland

highway and until then everybody you know what i'm going to say chicken chamein maybe Be.