The Harland Highway - 574 - KENTUCKY (fried chicken) DERBY, Social imposters.

Episode Date: May 5, 2014

It's the running of the KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN DERBY at the Harland Highway celebrity racetrack, Impostors in your social circle, and more CRYING from the Pavement Pounders. Blackboard smackboard!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a show, what a show, what a crazy, wacky, wacky, wacky, crazy show. Well, I'll let you be the judge, but welcome to the Harlem Highway. I'm Harlem, and you're listening to Holland Highway. Great to have you here. Crazy show today. Oh, my goodness. The Kentucky Derby was this past weekend, and we are out-scooping them. We are going to the Harlan Highway Celebrity Race Tract.

Forget the Kentucky Derby. We will be running the Kentucky Fried Chicken Derby here today on the Harland Highway. It's going to be epic. It's going to be an amazing race. Hope you enjoy it. We're also going to be talking about impostors and not probably the type of impostors you're thinking of. But these are impostors that might affect your social life.

And a very in-depth conversation about, impostors commandeering your social life so we're going to get into that and then we have a pavement pounder who called in with some stories about crying that's been kind of a hit theme with the show lately

men talking about crying and what makes them cry and why they cry but this guy really goes off the deep end with his crying wait till you hear it I hope it doesn't make you cry because this is a happy place where we laugh this is

The Harland Highway You just made a wrong turn onto the Harland Highway I am out here for you You don't know what it's like to be me Out here for you It's like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you

Like I took the wrong week, quit drinking I make you laugh, I'm here to fucking amuse you You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harland Williams I buy that for a dollar What was it we had for dinner tonight? Well, we had a choice. Steak, fish. Yes, yes, I remember. I had lasagna.

What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny? Like, I picked the wrong week to quit am fit of me. She's got a thought for Samantha thing to say. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Get the wrong week, quick, sniff, brew. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Let's start the show with kind of a social setting, etiquette conversation. As this happened to you, you're out at a function or you're out with a group of friends and you make arrangements with a group of friends and you're like, oh, I'm going to go meet so and so and so and so and so and so and so and so and so and maybe it's five of you, maybe it's seven of you, maybe it's 12 of you, whatever. and you're kind of a clique, you're like a group, you all know each other, you're all friends, maybe you work together, maybe your high school buddies, what have you. Okay, so you show up at a place, a mutual place, a bar, a club, or a dinner, or whatever it is,

and you're there expecting to kind of mill around and talk to the people you know and kind of jump from conversation to conversation. And then all of a sudden, one of the people from the group brings some outsiders to the function. So it's like they come to the function, but they show up with two of their childhood friends or a couple of their business associates

or whoever it may be, they're alien to the rest of the group. they're kind of like impostors and it's through no fault of their own that they're not part of the mix but they're people and they're there with other people and all of a sudden the one person who brought the

impostors the aliens walks up to you in the middle of your socializing and gallivanting and whatever you're doing maybe you're having a laugh maybe you're telling a joke Maybe you're a little tipsy.

I don't know what you're doing. And all of a sudden this one friend from the group walks up and says, oh, hey, Harland, or hey, Joe, or whoever you may be. Hey, I'd like you to meet my friends, Sarah and Bill. And you're like, oh, hey. And then your friend goes, yeah, Sarah and Bill work at the Dental Floss Museum in Mississippi. They're here visiting me for a few days. And suddenly you're there with these strangers and you don't want to be rude and you're like, oh, how are things in the dental floss business?

And then they don't want to be rude, so they're like, oh, well, we've just launched a new line of dental floss. You see, when you get up into your gum line and you start flossing, it's very important that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The next thing you know, you're absorbed into a conversation you know nothing about. You don't know these people. You'll never see them again in your whole life. You don't really give a flying f*** about dental floss. and yet there you are

with a smile on your face and the hot girl you were flirting with is now talking to some other dude or the funny story that your friends were telling is now run its course and you hear everyone laughing in the background and you missed the punchline because you're here talking about

the dental floss museum in Mississippi. So it's very frustrating. and it's not malicious. It's not like people are trying to divert your attention or pull you away, but it's like, oh, sometimes I feel like people walk up to you and kind of like dump their impostors off on you, you know? You almost, if you get in the head of your friend who brought the impostors, like, oh, God, I brought Bill and Sarah with me.

I don't know what to do with them. Oh, I'll go introduce them to Harland. they'll start talking I'll go over and flirt with girls have a drink and go listen to some funny stories hell I might even tell a few of my own funny stories because Harland will be over there

trapped sucked into the tractor beam of Sarah and Bill's life Sarah and Bill who know nothing about the little social group that we're all part of Sarah and Bill who are not involved in the little friend community sure let Harland take care of them for the next 20 minutes

please don't do that it's it's the some people bring their parents oh hey Harland yeah I know we're out partying at a bar crawling with young people but you know I just thought it might be fun for my grandparents to get out of the house they're in visiting from Poland they don't speak English that well but I thought they might really enjoy being out at 1230 at night watching us all have fun here why don't you ask them about their life in Poland will I go and hang out with that group of girls over there

oh hi Mr. Mr. Mr. Cherry Blum Blaski? What did you say? We come from the Poland. Yes, let me tell you about the farming community in the Poland. In the morning, we get up and we harvest the potatoes, and then we get the wheat, and we bale the wheat, and then we milk the goats, and where are you going?

Holy crap! Could you not please do it? that so anyways i don't know how many of you have been victimized by the impostors i mean i just don't do it i don't do that to be i don't even it's it's just awkward it's it's you invite people outside of the network and it just i don't know it's just really weird unless they're really good at just like motoring off on their own or they kind of get it like they know they're the imposters so they keep it short and sweet oh yeah hey nice to meet you yeah someone so's told us a lot of good things about you okay have a great night boom perfect that's good imposter

ediquid imposter go buy a foster's beer imposter a bartender fosters for the impostors Radio, mate. So anyone listening, think about it. Before you take imposters to your next, like, hookah party, or your next orgy, or your next rave, or whatever you're doing, just think about it before you take them. And if you do take them, don't dump them. Don't dump the impostors on your friends.

How dare you brought them? You do a song and dance for them. you sit in the corner and talk about stories and look them in the eye and pretend you're interested. Jeez. And when I say impostors, okay, I'm not talking about, like, if someone brings people that are kind of in the same, you know, kind of age group,

or, you know, if a dude brings some really hot girls or for the ladies, if a girl brings some really hot, dudes that seem around the same age range. Okay, those are good impostors. What I'm talking about is don't bring the gray-haired, like, guy who works, you know, in the back room at Lowe's or Home Depot or the brother, the brother who, you know, fucking makes bread at a bakery and you just don't know how to relate to them. God, I'm imposter angry. So there you go. I hope it hasn't happened to you.

I hope you haven't been imposterized. And I hope in the future, after hearing this segment, you don't impose impostors on people. This is a no-impose imposter zone right here on the Harland Highway. Who, Roger? Bob and Sarah, who's that? The people that I met last night? Oh, my God, we got to go.

Throw to a commercial. I'm running down the hall to the bathroom. Oh, my God. Have a really nice day today, folks. You deserve it. But the person you called has a voice mailbox. Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Hey, hi, hi, this is John from Casey.

I just heard John's story of crying, and I thought about giving us. in my story. And I was predominantly raised by my mom. My dad had a job where he was only home on the weekend. And so my mom was a huge cryer. It cries

all the time. Can't even watch any movies. It doesn't matter what kind of movies is. She ends up crying at the end of it. And so I'm growing up, I'm little, and I watched a lot of movies with my mom, and she would cry. And I would just

watch her cry. Like, what do you what you're crying about. And eventually, when I would turn like 5 or 6, then I started to cry at the end of every movie as well. So it was kind of odd when I started dating when I was 16

and I'd watch movies with my girlfriend and I'd end up crying. It's end up, like, it could be a super, super happy movie and I'd cry because I was happy, or it could be a sad movie and I'd cry because I was sad. It's not like bawling, but, you know, just dripping tears.

And my girlfriends would be like, what are you? Are you seriously crying? This movie is not that sad or whatever. And then, of course, any time I got into any fights or breakups with any of my girlfriends, I'd be the one bawling and they would end up crying too. But I'm always a crier in the relationship. And in my current relationship, my fiancé, she cries like twice a year. I probably cry like 20 times.

But she actually likes it. She says it's very sensual, and it's nice to have a boyfriend that's not too nasty one. And she, like I say, I have a big heart that I care about people, which I really do. But anyway, there's another crying story for you. Have a good one. Keep up the great work. Oh, well, thanks, John. I certainly will.

And you know what, thanks for sharing, man. And, you know, this crying story just kind of keeps on taking new life because I threw out there, you know, a number of podcasts ago, are there guys out there that cry? Are there criers? And most guys don't man up and say, oh, yeah, I cry, yeah, I'm a crier. Most guys probably won't admit it. And maybe a lot of guys don't cry. But I want to thank John for, you know, fessing up and calling in. and talking about how he cries, how he's got a trigger. And it's interesting that you said that your mom did it all the time

and that you would watch her. And I'm wondering if that's some kind of psychological imprint behavior wherein you adopted her behavior, you mimicked her behavior of crying because, you know, you're probably right. It's not as common for men to cry quite as easily, at least most men to cry quite as easily as the lady folk do. It's just the way it is.

That's not a sexist remark. It's just, I think it's just men don't get quite as emotionally triggered as women do. Although I do think men as they get older, get a little more emotional, I find. But back to John here, it's interesting that, you know, you cry. almost at the drop of a hat at any type of movie, whether it's a sad movie or a happy movie, you find that trigger. If it's sad, you start bawling.

And then if it's happy, you're like, that makes you cry too. And I think it's great that your girlfriend sees value in that, that she recognizes you're a sensitive human being, you're a sensitive person with feelings and emotions, and there you go, man. I think that's a really nice story. John, thank you for sharing.

And, you know, it's interesting that you cry a lot. And, you know, we appreciate you being candid and opening up to us here at the Harland Highway. That's fantastic. Good for you for owning your tears, dude. Own those tears. That's really nice. And speaking of tears, oh, my God, I got to talk about... I got to talk about something that happened just on the week,

and we have the Kentucky Derby horse race, okay? This is a big event where people dress up, and they, you know, they wear giant hats, and they drink like mint julep or something. They get drunk on mint drinks and watch horses run around at full torque, man. It's crazy. I love those giant hats, though, man. The women, every year the hats get bigger and bigger.

It looks like UFOs landed on their heads. And I'm thinking, why aren't there a lot of, like, people wearing sombreros at the Kentucky Derby? You remember sombreros? The Mexican hats, they're just huge. They, like, they come out around. They span out about eight feet off the sun. some comforts of your head. Like, there's such a big brimmed hat that, you know,

animals come and shelter under you when you wear it so they can get out of the midday sun. It's crazy. It's like, you know, 12 degrees colder under the rim of a sombrero. It's so wide. When it rains, rainbows appear. Okay, what am I doing rim shots here? Hey, that sombrero is so wide. I can see a rainbow.

Bada, bump. Suddenly I just launched into a big sombrero routine there, one-liners. Hey, is that a sombrero or do you just have a, are you having an eclipse? Bon-um-pump. But anyways, I don't know why they just don't wear those to the, because sombreros are decadent. Some of them, you know, they're really beautiful and well-dressed. You ever see these guys in the mariachi bands?

They got the big sombreros with the pom-poms hanging off them and the rhinestones and the glit. Oh, that's what you want to be wearing at the Kentucky Derby. And I got to say this Kentucky Derby, man, these horses, these horses are crazy. The owners of these horses pay millions of dollars for these horses. And there's a lot of mystery to that. That's like, would you throw a million dollars away? It's not like it's a car.

Okay, with a car, you know how many cylinders you're getting, how much horsepower you're getting, how the car was engineered, right down to every rivet and bolt. With a horse, you're just going, well, that guy looks fast, I guess. Here's $23 million for that guy. I mean, I can see some muscles bulging in his legs.

I guess that guy's worth $48 million. I don't know if I'd be that willing to gamble with my money on a horse? Hey everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority, plus 100% free shipping on your order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off,

one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So here's what I think they should do to simplify the whole horse racing industry and to save people lots of money. Forget about racing horses, race zebras, okay?

Just race zebras. They're basically horses from Africa, okay? You know they can run fast because unlike horses here that just stand around in the fields and eat dandelions, zebras at any given second have to put it into like fifth gear and run away from a lion. You know, a zebra can be eaten at any second. So they're like a Ferrari. They're going to go from zero to 100 in 2.1 seconds. Friggin domestic horses.

What do they got to run away from? These spoiled brat race horses? It's like they ain't running anywhere. It's like, oh, here comes the eight handlers to give me a sponge bath, massage my flesh, clip my hoofs, brush my teeth, feed me carrots and sugar, brush me, wipe my ass, and milk me, even though I'm not a cow. I mean, these things get pampered more than the real Hollywood housewives, man. So I ain't gambling my money on some horse standing in a field, watching butterflies fly around and eating daisies and friggin, you know, getting sun tanned.

Now here's what I'm doing I'm getting one of those scanners and I'm walking up to a zebra and I'm scanning it because zebras are basically nature's living barcodes Okay That's what they are They're just running, walking, eating, living African barcodes

They get all the black and white stripes You just get a scanner gun You walk up to a zebra bo-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-oh, you're worth 80 million. That's a good zebra. That's a runner. That's a winner. That's the secretariat of zebras.

How about this guy? Bo-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-oh. Three cents. Somebody's on sale. So you just scan your zebras. Get a very accurate worth on them. And there's your horse right there. So anyways, this decadent event, the Kentucky Derby, all the horses gather around and these midgets get on their back and they run down.

And what's interesting is they still whip the horses. It's got to be a little bit cruel, but it's like, you know, these midgets are up on the back riding these very muscular, strong animals. And they're like whipping them. They got that little hand whip. like two feet long and they snap them on the ass. It's like in the middle of the horse race there's some S&M going on.

Oh, you're running real good. You want some of this baby? Whoop-p-ch-who-p-p-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. Oh, yeah, feel it, take it. You like it, don't you? I mean, just run your race. Leave your sexual deviancy at home, man. But anyways, it's a little bit cruel, I guess.

But, you know, what's the horse thinking, man? He's running around on a track, first of all, with a human on his back. That's like if we were walking down the street and all of a sudden a monkey jumped on our back. We're just like, holy crap, there's a monkey on my back. I better start running, man. Monkey starts whipping me, puts a leather mask on. get the gimp you know

I mean those horses are strong if I was a horse I'd friggin stop and stand up and go dude get the hell off my back I'm going to stomp your face with my hoofs okay I will jump over a low

hanging tree and scrape you off my back if you don't get the hell off my back you dirty midget So anyways, we thought that in all fairness with the Kentucky Derby running and everything, it's only fair that since we do have the Harland Highway Celebrity Racetrack, that we take you there for not the Kentucky Derby, but the Kentucky Fried Chicken Derby, which happens every year,

a race that's not quite as well known as the Kentucky Derby. But here at the Harland Highway, we're committed to bringing you the best, sports. So here we go. Let's get Charles Parsley, who always calls our races down at the Harland Highway Celebrity Racetrack. He's going to take you through a very exciting race. Let's throw it over to Charles Parsley and the Kentucky Fried Chicken Derby. One minute to post time. We're approaching the gate. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. and I'm Charles Pazley.

And you are here at the Holland Highway. Celebrity races. And today, a very special racing event. It's the running of the 43rd Kentucky Fried Chicken Derby. We've got all kinds of incredible contenders today. We've got in Gate 1, we've got some chicken breasts. We've got a pair of chicken breasts in gate one. In gate two, we have some chicken legs.

In gate three, we have some chicken wings. In gate four, we have the man himself, Colonel Saunders, from Colonel Saunders, Kentucky Fried Chicken. And as the players, the races get warmed up, get ready to run, we stand by as always with bated breath from the bell to ring and the gates to open and wait here it goes the bell is just wrong and they are out they are running out of their stalls they are bolting down the track

it looks like the chicken legs are in the lead the kentucky fried chicken legs are running down the track at full speed two of them side by side the golden skin glistening in the sunshine but here comes the chicken wings getting airborne and flapping past the chicken legs. Colonel Saunders getting a slow start out of the gate. He's got a cane in his hand.

He just doesn't seem to be able to run the way he used to. And now here comes the breasts. The breasts are little heavier than the other runners, making their way down the track. Oh my goodness, they're actually starting to pick up speed, and they're passing the chicken wings. The chicken wings, it looks like the chicken wings are slowing down from exhaustion and the breasts the breasts are making a break right down the through

way but wait here comes colonel saunders himself he's running after them he's using his cane to get some leverage he's stopped one of the breasts it looks like he's massaging the breasts he's actually got it in his mouth and he's eating the breasts like a dirty dirty dirty old man and there go the chicken legs running past taking advantage of this lull in the action as Colonel Saunders kneels down and it looks like he's oh my goodness it looks like he's rubbing his face between the two breasts there's chicken skin all over his white little goatee his kentucky fried chicken glasses smeared with grease and here come someone's thrown some chicken fingers on the field some chicken fingers have just run and they've formed a hand the chicken fingers have formed a hand and they're slapping

Colonel Saunders in the face his old face turning red as the slapping continues and the chicken wings are back up in the air flapping down the track flapping down the track heading towards the finish line the breasts have pulled away from Colonel Sanders Colonel Sanders is having none of it he jumps up he's running after the breasts it looks like he's got a old man erection in his pants. Could it be he's actually sexually stimulated by his own secret recipe?

And there go the chicken legs. The chicken legs are dashing. They are running with all their might. One after the other, side by side. Storming down the track. Colonel Saunders with chicken grease and skin dripping off his goatee. It's Colonel Saunders.

Here he comes. he hobbles over the finish line and the chicken legs drop to the ground exhausted from the run and it looks like some seagulls are flying out of the sky and they've just eaten the chicken legs the breasts are heaving on the racetrack up and down and it actually looks like now they're tanning in the sun the chicken wings have flown the coop and they've just taken off into the horizon and the seagulls have eaten them as well What an incredible race here today. The Holland Highway Kentucky Fried Chicken Derby

with the winner this year, Colonel Saunders himself. Excellent day at the races. What an event. Thank you for being here. We'll catch you next here at the Kentucky Fried Chicken Derby. Until then, I'm Charles Pazley. Hey, Harmon. It's John from Casey again. I'm sitting here and driving to work. Still thinking about crying. Another thing I wanted to mention about it is that, I mean, it pretty much goes without saying, but it is the number one thing that can make you feel just happy and good again. Like any time that you're super stressed and you're having a bad year, having a bad day, whatever, after a good cry, everything just seems to feel okay. Life just seems to be green. you just get a good cry

and all your hosts and dreams will come true there's been lots of times where I have felt really bad or really annoyed or really frustrated in life and I thought oh oh you need to slow down put on grab a glass of wine

put on some sad music and cry because you will feel much much better and even sometimes it's better than sex well not really but sometimes you know if you have a bad lay or something Anyway, so yeah. Whoa, whoa, that's a very big statement there, John.

John's back again. Crying is better than sex. My God, I think I'm going to ask the question, John. Have you ever cried during sex? Oh, my God. Can you imagine how good that would be to you? Not to the rest of us, but to you. And how about this?

Having sex, crying, and chopping onions. all at the same time. I think you might pull a Hiroshima and just like blow up into a mushroom cloud. So John's back. He really endorsing this crying thing and it's got me wondering, I've never asked this before

and I'm going to ask it of you, John, and I think the pavement pounders would appreciate this. I think we want you, and I'm speaking for all of us, I think they'll support me on this. I think we need to hear you cry. I think next time you cry, you need to call the Harland Highway hotline.

And we just want to hear you blubber. We want to hear you cry. We want to know what you're crying about. We want to hear the tears. And this isn't in a mocking way. This is just, I think we're all fascinated. because you started the show with crying and we got it, but now you're taking crying into almost a way of life,

almost as, you know, a health benefit. It almost sounds like you're doing away with your daily vitamins and exercise and nutrition and just cry, man. Crying, it feels good. It's amazing. There's nothing better. Just get a good cry, and all your hopes and dreams will come true. It almost sounds like a pill, like an upper.

Like, hey, man, I'm feeling horrible. Anybody got a sad movie I can watch, man, so I can feel better? Anybody, can anyone describe in detail a horrible car accident so I can cheer myself up here, man? after a good cry everything just everything just seems to feel okay life just seems to be green okay well that that's the challenge john i think you kind of set this one up on your own

and in order for us to buy into your subscription i think you need to prove it to us so what we're asking here and we don't want fakeness we don't want any acting we don't want because anyone can do that Anyone can go, oh, I'm crying. I'm so upset. No, no, no.

You've got to be crying for real. This will be a podcast first, okay? Consider yourself part of podcast history, John. The first one, first man to cry in and not cry and call in. It will be a cry in if you do it. Let's just call it that. You'll be the first, we're creating a new category just for you. We're going beyond calling in.

We want you to do the first ever and recorded podcast history, the very first cry-in. So you know the phone number. It's right there on my website, harlornwilliams.com. No faking it, real tears, and tell us what you're going through. Tell us why you're crying. Tell us how it feels.

And let's see if we can get you to do it. I think the pavement pounders will be in awe of you for the cry-in. And yes, we're taking the piss out of you a little bit, but also it really is kind of fascinating. So if you're willing to expose yourself and laugh at yourself a bit and be part of this fun experiment, I think it would be awesome. So we're on pins and needles, John. You're going to call in and you're going to do what?

Try. Right, because you've taught us that crying is. is better than what? Better than sex. That's right. So, John, call in, cry for us. Cry for us, you little baby, cry. And I think this could be very, very interesting.

It would be the very first cry-in on any podcast anywhere. But don't forget it. I'm going to say it one more time, can't be fakes. Got to be real. and try and use a nice clear phone if you have a landline or if you're on a cell phone get to a quiet place we don't want a lot of static so that it blurred we need to hear every little sob and and deep breath and hopefully hopefully you're crying makes us not sad for you but happy because crying's a happy thing after a good cry everything just

everything just seems to feel okay life just seems to be green thank you john thank you for those wonderful words cry got it got it cry yeah got it john thank you cry okay let's move on here just get a good cry and all your hopes and dreams will come true okay we're moving on now john cry john thank you the next time we hear from you you better be crying it's all I'm gonna say And that brings us to the end of the show, oddly in this weird, like, counterintuitive sense, we end on crying, but yet we're going to be happy because crying is happy. I'm all confused, but John will straighten us out.

I can't wait to hear from him. I hope he calls in. He's probably feeling the pressure now, but it's going to be big, John. It's going to be epic. I hope you pavement pounders root them on. And we'll see what happens. So let's wrap it up. Thank you for listening, everybody, to the Harland Highway.

Please tell your friends about the Harland Highway if you get the chance. We'll love to have them enjoy the craziness. Make sure you go to Harlan Williams.com. I've posted some fresh stand-up comedy dates. I might be coming to your town or city. So check that out. It's going to be a busy, busy fall. fall and went up until the end of the year for me doing a lot of towns and cities on the stand-up circuit

so that'll be awesome and while you're at the page the numbers there if you want to call in and talk about your crying stories or any story at all you can talk about anything you want leave me a message you don't talk to anybody it's strictly an answering machine so you can say whatever the F you want Also join my YouTube channel There's a subscription button Right there on the page

It's free No hooks, no gimmicks Just whenever I post a wacky video You get to see it first What else? Check out the store Harlem Williams.com store And also check out All Things Comedy.com

Which is the podcast network Where you can find my show As well as wherever you're listening to it but there's a lot of other funny comedians, Jake Johansson, Bill Burr, people like that on there. So do check it out. C-I-O. Check it out. Cry.

That was me. That wasn't John. Cry. I wonder if his last name is Cryer. John Cryer. You know the actor from two and a half men? No. Okay.

Nothing like ending on a lame joke. It was so lame it made me want to cry thank you that's it everybody uh we are done here thanks for tuning in like i said tell your friends and we'll catch you next time on the harland highway until then chicken chalman baby