The Harland Highway - 578 - Crazy home invasion attack on my house, texting and driving

Episode Date: May 26, 2014

Something invades Harland's home, texting and driving madness, Harland does live stand up. Blunk and blark!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey now, hey now. Okay, no reason to be singing like that at the beginning of a podcast. It's probably alienating, and people are like, don't need that. I'm switching channels. Are there channels and podcasts? Are there a bunch of channels? I don't know. Welcome, everybody, to the Harland Highway. Glad you're here. As I said, another podcast. I've been all over the the place a little bit lately. I missed a couple of podcasts due to all my relocation with my

sitcom starting and stopping and blah, blah, blah. So we're here. What a show. We're going to be talking about something that you all do, but you will all deny texting and driving. Oh, sure. Everyone else does it. Not you. Uh-huh. We're going to uncover that. We get a call from one of the pavement pounders on that. I'm going to be talking about a species of animal that invaded my house, and I'm going to chat about that for a while, and then I'm going to go up on stage live and work it out. Get all my frustrations out and all my thoughts about this crazy invasive animal

taking over my home up on stage at a really weird comedy club. So it's going to be a fun show. Here we go. Thanks for being here. Gentlemen, this is the Harland Highway. You just made a wrong turn onto the Harland Highway. I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be me out here for you.

It's like I picked the wrong week for smoke. I'm funny how. I mean, funny like I'm a clown. I amuse you. Like I took the wrong week, quit drink. I make you laugh. I'm here to fucking amuse you. You're riding down the Harland Highway with Harlan Williams. I buy that for a dollar. What was it we had for dinner tonight? Well, we had a choice. Steak, fish.

Yes, yes, I remember. I had lasagna. What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny? It's like I picked the wrong week to quit am fit of me. She's got a thoughtful amount of things aside. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Get the wrong week. Quit the wrong week. Quit shuff and do. Latida. Okay, I can hold that no forever.

unusually strong lungs. I think I might have been one of the reclough guys in a former life. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the... The Harland Highway. Hsu, had trouble getting that one out. Again, my apologies, the last few weeks have been very scattered. I've been doing a lot of transitioning.

I've been wrapping up my sitcom that I'm shooting in Vancouver, Canada, and I've been traveling back to Los Angeles, where I live, and then I've been going to see family in Toronto, and I've kind of been on the move, and which rarely happens, but in the last month or so, I've missed a couple of the podcast. Podcast getting out there. I apologize. I like to keep it consistent,

but sometimes life just pulls me in too many directions. And I miss a couple now and then. It's very rare. I think we've done, we're coming up on 600, and I think I've only missed maybe four or five in that time. So there you go. But yeah, it's been a busy, busy time for me, and it continues through the summer,

so I'm going to do my best to not miss any. bad boy uh so there you go a million apologies um so let's get right to uh the action here if you can call it action uh you know it depends how much action an old lady has and when i say old lady i mean me okay get check this out uh i've got moths in my house i go away for a little bit and i come back and my the inside of my house in my house. I've ever seen these butterfly museums?

You ever see that you can go and visit these butterfly museums? You walk in and there's tropical plants and there's thousands of butterflies flapping all around. That's where my house looks like. I walked in and there's like a moth museum. There's these little tiny moths flying all around my house. And I guess they eat my clothes. They have a thing for clothes.

And so while I was away, I asked my cleaning lady, I said, look, I think we've got to get some moth balls or something. That's the only thing I know that kills moths. I mean, you can't go after them with a rifle. You can't start shooting moths out of the air with a rifle, right? So I come home from my working on my sitcom in Vancouver. I enter my house, and it smells like a lot of the ladies might not know this, but my house smells like a urinal, a public urinal. In the urinals, they put these little hockey puck size.

They're called urinal cakes. And believe me, you don't want one of these for your birthday. But they smell like a mixture of bad mouthwash and chemicals and liniment, whatever that is. I think I just made that up, liniment. It sounds right. there's a touch of menthol in there maybe some spearmint it's just an overall horrible smell and uh i go in my closet and i go in my bedroom and the the strong the sun's even stronger and i look at my cleaning lady has put all these uh moth balls all around

and what was more insulting than the odor was there was moths still floating lying around, the little bastards. I just can't believe it. They must be, like, having an orgy in my house. They're like, hey, man, this guy's gone. Hasn't been anyone home, man. Let's invite everyone over and have, like, a party, man. It's like that you ever have a babysitter or if you're your parents and you leave town?

It's like that movie, Risky Business, and the kids throw a giant party and everyone comes over and wrecks everything. That's what happened in my place. I had like one moth, and he's like, hey, man, everyone, hey, come on. The dude's gone, man. It's like the big Lebowski of moths. Yo, dudes, flap on over, dude. There's all kinds of sweaters and shirts. It's like, and all you can eat buffet.

Plus, we can fly around. There's no fly swatters and whatnot. We can partay in this house in Hollywood, dudes. Come on. Someone find mothrow, that giant fucking Godzilla moth, man. We'll even get that dude here, man. Let's moth it up. Yeah, they sure did.

Like I said, my place is like a butterfly museum in there. I should start charging my neighbors to wander through my house. They can walk through with their children and stare up and moths flying all around. It's like little angels. Like you're in heaven, and there's little angels flapping all around your head. Last night, I'm laying in bed, okay? No shirt on. Not much else on either, you nosy bastards.

And I woke up in the middle of the night. I feel something crawling on my back. Did I jump up? Did I turn on the light? Did I get scared? Did I think it was a spider? Did I think it was a lizard? Did I think it was a devil?

Do I think it was the monster under the bed? No. I knew what it was. It was a moth. And I'm not even wearing clothes, so now I'm thinking, geez, maybe he's tired of clothes. He wants some flesh. What did I do?

Rolled right over. Didn't even flinch. Woke up, felt it crawling, moth, roll, crunch. There's me sleeping on some powdery, velvety moth wings. How about that? That's where I should have had a heart attack

and died. How many people get to die laying atop? That's right. I said a top. Laying atop some velvety, powdery moth wings. I do. Okay? Well, I don't. I didn't die, but that's how you want to go out. That's the only way to go out on top of powdery velvet moth wings. I'll tell you. So anyways, my house stinks like a urinal from my hockey arena, okay? I got a butterfly museum going on, and these things ain't stopping. I don't think the moth balls are working. Meanwhile, the first night, I didn't know any better. I got home.

I was tired. I'd been flying. I decided to go to sleep in my bedroom. I didn't realize it may. Maybe you shouldn't sleep with a whole bag of mothballs laying around your bed. Oh, yeah, P.S. mothballs, it's like poison. So here I'm laying in a poison chamber going into a coma. Moths are crawling all over my flesh.

Good Lord. So anyways, last night I was in Hollywood. I got invited to jump up on stage and do a little stand-up. And I thought, you know what, I got to get this moth thing out of my sister. So I went on stage and started talking about my moth infestation. And let me run the clip for you right now. I was able to turn my horrible butterfly museum into a bit of a bit of comedy for the folks. That this really cool comedy goes in the upstairs over a restaurant,

and it was set up like an attic. They designed this room to look like the inside of a really old, like, abandoned farm. I was like that peeling wallpaper and old pieces of wood and doors and lumber and window frames and chairs hanging from the rafters. It was, it was really, it's almost like doing a gig in a haunted house. So it's kind of fitting. I talked about the creepiness of moths. Here it is. Enjoy. Guys, come on deck. You all know this man. You all love this man. He's coming all the way. He's coming all the way from Fresno. Put your hand together for grape crush. Keep you going.

Great crush from Fresno. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. Hey, gang, how about a hand for everyone you know in the community that's been supporting the efforts of the Lower East Side of L.A.? What a great room. room we have here, gang, we should all give thanks. What a wonderful opportunity for a bunch of strangers to come together and communicate their essence. I would really love if a 9.5 L.A. earthquake hit right now and shook for 20 seconds And when we all finish screaming, this room was laid out immaculately.

I'm talking pristine. And I do not use that word very often. It's a real treat for you tonight to hear me say the P word. Because this room, ladies and gentlemen, is crazy. This room is craikors. cray. This room, if you're from Louisiana, this room is crayfish. This room is crazier than Forrest Whitaker's left eye. I think you all live that. He's got a crazy fucking eye.

I like to share about things going on in my life. It's not easy stuff about rattling glosses during the show. Unless that's a skeleton in the haunted mansion. Just waiting for one of those cars that float by in the Disney haunted mansion. Am I right, gang? Am I right, children in the flowers in the attic? Am I right? So you can rattle if you want.

It's all part of the essence of what's the name Katrina. Sir, have a seat. Here's what's going on in my life, ma'am, if you can focus. I've known a show. I got moths in my house. I don't know. Judging, by the way, some of you are dressed. There's some moth people here. Sir over there, hiding under the books. But moths are a peculiar critter. I mean, God created a lot of critters. There's a guy with a wool hat. I'm concerned for that gentleman over there.

Talking about moths, sir, you should be very concerned. Once you hear what I have to say, you're going to be very, very frightened. Moths are unusual because if you look at the animal kingdom, ma'am, but I can tell by looking in your eyes you love to watch nature shows and whatnot, most animals have an appetite for something that's living. A lion, sir. We'll take down a baby gazelle, just freshly born, ma'am, laying in the tall golden grasses of the Palahari, still covered in glistening placenta. A lion doesn't care.

A lion sees an opportunity to feed, man. And it just attacks that trembling little, I think they're called colts. Baby gazelles are colts. I don't think anyone here can challenge that. So, I'm not like anyone here as an animal expert has the authority to say a baby gazelle isn't a colt, so I'm going to just keep barreling through. A lion, ladies and gentlemen, will, a lion will attack a trembling little placenta-covered gazelle colt and basically sink. Lions, I don't know if you know this, man. lions are seven-inch canine teeth.

And I know this is a comedy show, but what they do is they plunge... Sir, if you could sit down doing a routine about lions eating baby gazelles. What they do is they plunge their seven-inch canines into the skinny little necks of these baby gazelles and tear their larynxes out. Has anyone here seen a...

baby gazelle colts larynx at all can i see anybody okay so you don't know what i'm talking about all right let's move this bit along a little faster then um but uh giraffes ma'am do you like drafts when you're not busy uh going over to europe on your travel miles and rolling around in the hazelnut fields of uh the ukraine this is not over here come to do a show there's a barely there's a hazelnut rolling shit here. Thank Rosemary's baby for coming to the show all right. Fucking placenta on my face.

But drafts will eat the tenderest of twiglets from the top of the gizonga trees in Kenya. Hippos will eat this tender swamp from saplings in the marshes. The Bengal Taggerman will take down a ukulele elk in the middle of the Persian forest. But moths, my South Park dressed friend, moths. Moths hanker for something else. A moth could be in your house going, gee, I'm hungry. Mmm, mm, mm, what I wouldn't do for a nice juicy pantsuit.

right now. God, I'm so hungry, I could eat a turtleneck. You know, Dang, I'm going to need a lot more out of you on the laughing thing. I'm up here, come on, let's, gang, I'm up here in this old fucking rickety, fucking sars of a house. The house could have sars.

This is fucking Sars house. And I'm up here doing stuff about baby gazelles and moths. Basically, I'm ripping this SARS house a new asshole. And to not get the feedback I need is disheartening to me. It's not easy for me to be up here. Look, I get it. Okay, gang, huh? Vine Street, gang.

I get it. There's a bunch of comics up here. You had the twin lesbian ahead of me. You had fucking Bugsy Malone up here, you have fucking husband and wife singing like they fucking just stepped out of a fucking terriaki chicken wagon down on 49th and fucking Kitty Cobbler. I don't know where they hang out. But I'm up here exposing myself. I'm a model, okay, I'm model.

Most of you are going, we can't relate to this fucking guy because he's not on the catwalk right now. fucking moth. Do you see that? Dude, run the fuck. Where's the fire exit? Dude, fucking run. Your hat's going to be gone in about half a second. But I'm model, okay? I'm not a comic. So it's not easy for me. I'm vulnerable right now. I'm going to be up here exposed as a model. I should be in Paris or two. Do you know what's going on?

Paris right now, sir, in the fucking Archie Bunker chair over there. Oh, hey, yeah, red dingbat, huh? This guy. Hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, meathead. Raise that fucking dingbat. Ah, this guy here. That's what he... Look at this guy. Who's up beside you? Oh, Archie! Ah! Look at this fucking, uh, all in the fucking SARS family over there. I'll tell you what's going on in Paris right now, gang. fashion week, okay?

I should be on a catwalk somewhere. I'm up here in fucking Sars. I was with fucking Carol O'Connor and Jean Staples'Bottom or whatever the fucker name is. Rob Reiner here somewhere, where are you, a greasy fucking meathead? Come on.

Anyways, that's not going to stop me. I'm plowing on, man. This comedy thing ain't fucking This fucking comedy thing's a fucking cakewalk Next to walking down a fucking catwalk, sir And an Armani suit, a $4,000 suit Think that's fucking easy, sir? This fucking comedy shit's a cakewalk

I come up here to talk about moss You fuckers are laughing your heads off What a breeze Okay, okay So there it is Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make

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Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. The new B-M-O-V-I-Porter MasterCard is your ticket to more, more perks, more points, more flights.

more of all the things you want in a travel rewards card and then some get your ticket to more with the new bemo v i porter master card and get up to twenty four hundred dollars in value in your first thirteen months terms and conditions apply visit bemo dot com slash the i porter to learn more i went off i you know i've told you guys before when i jump up on stage at these places i experiment my ass off and i just i decided I decided to go down this road where I convinced myself that I was a high-end male fashion model and that was my real occupation and I was just doing this comedy thing as a lark that I was tired of being beautiful and modeling and I was desperate to switch gears into something else. Needless to say, I think you can hear the crowd was a bit mystified. They weren't entirely sure if I was for real or not. I can't believe it, but, man, I had fun. I had fun with that one.

So there you go. That's my little moth rant. And I guess I should thank the moths because they brought a lot of laughter to me. They brought a lot of laughter to some other people. And there you go. So I'm working on the problem. The moths should be gone soon. Okay?

Thank you. you, Moth's. Over there. The gigantic insect known as Mothra. Now, speaking of Mothra, an interesting segue right there, I went to see the new Godzilla movie, and I'm not going to harp on this for long, but some of you said you liked it when I complained, and so here I'm going to complain again on a running theme that's been happening on the show, And I'm trying to get away from it.

The crying thing, but I went to see Godzilla. Guess what, everybody? Okay, the two leads in the movie. Brian Cranston's one male lead. Okay? And then there's a guy who plays his son. I don't know his name, but he's the star of that movie, Kickass.

He's a young actor. Good looking guy. He's all buffed up. He plays Brian Cranston's son in Godzilla, and he's his big, tough, buffed out a military. military guy. He's a highly trained Navy SEAL type of guy, okay? So if you go see Godzilla, I want you to check how many times in the beginning of the

movie, this is a deal wrecker alert or whatever they're called, Brian Cranston dies like a half hour into the movie. He's a great actor. He did a great job, but in the scenes that he's, in maybe 50, 60%, he's crying. So I kind of get it with him. He's an older guy. Maybe it's okay.

He's emotional. He's lost his family. His wife dies. So he's crying. It kind of fits. But then for the rest of the movie, his young buffed-out son, the military guy who, you know, went through training, went through Navy Seals training, was made to stand in the ocean for eight hours. in the middle of the night, was subjected to torture, was subjected to all the things they subjected to

when you become a Navy SEAL. You've got to be a real man to be a Navy SEAL. Now go watch Godzilla, and guess what? The big Navy SEAL, butch military guy, I'd say 40 to 60% of his scenes on camera, guess what he's doing? He's either crying, or he's doing that thing, where his eyes start to water, and he's like one second away from crying.

Again, what I said about Spider-Man, what I've said about every freaking movie Hollywood makes now, pusifying, our leading men, I get it that men have emotions, I get it that men cry, do they have to do it in every freaking movie now? Wait, do you see it? You're like, oh, there goes the big Navy SEAL guy. Crying again, there's his eyes.

watering. I get it. Maybe one or two scenes. You go see Godzilla and make a note of it. I'm willing to say that 40 to 60% of the time, the young son, Marine guy is on screen. He's doing a scene where his eyes are watering or he's crying. There you go. I'm not going to keep going on about it. It's disgusting and pisses me off. Can someone write a movie where a man plays a man and his butch and tough and kicks him ass and actually doesn't feel the need to cry. Gee, I don't remember Bruce Lee crying. I don't remember Charles Bronson crying. I don't remember Clint Eastwood crying.

I don't remember, yeah, come on. Enough. Holy pusification. So there, I'm stopping right there. No more crying stuff. Let's move on, Raj. Get me out of this, because I get all fired up. Get me out.

There's nothing. Why can't I see? My blanket. My blue blanket. I'm sorry. I don't like people touching my blue blanket. Hello? Hello.

Hey, Harland. I called in to gripe about texting drivers. I pretty much always think that, you know, it's like a younger person that maybe a teenage girl or boy texting. But I just passed six drivers in a row, and every single one of them was texting. I don't know if they're texting. They could have been doing research online,

or what have you, but what amazed me is that there was like an old man, probably like in his 70s with his face down, there was an old lady, and then maybe like a 21-year-old dude, but it just amazed me to see an old man and old lady with their heads down looking at their phone. It's ridiculous. It's taken over the freaking world. I agree with you, man. I agree with you but but you know consider this the old lady and the old man you said their heads were hanging down their their chins were on their chest did it occur to you that these people were dead they said they were old i think they might have been deceased they just slumped in their seat their foot was already on the gas so they're they're still rolling but old people don't know

how to use cell phone. So I have to conclude that these individuals had passed away while driving and were just still kind of moving until they hit a tree or something. So you're okay there. Okay, I'm lying. You're right. Everybody texts. And here's the first question I got to ask you.

And I hear your mad, I hear your anger, I hear your frustration, I hear your aggravation. Let me ask you this and be honest, to you? Text when you drive? I bet I know the answer. I bet I do. Who's the little texter that drives? Who's the driving texter? Where is he?

Come on, come on. Where's my little driving texter? Are you my little driving texter? Who's the little driving texter? That's you. Yes, it is. Yes, yes, yes, yes, text, text with your little texting fingers. Yes, you are.

You're a good little text. text her when you drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know why I can say that? Because I'm I'm you. I friggin hate when other people text when they drive.

I know when they're doing it. I see them doing it. I can tell if they're poking along in front of me if they do it. I honk at them. I get angry at them. And then guess what I do? That's right. I text when I drive too.

And I become that guy. And I become that, you know what I mean? I think we all do it. It's a horrible thing to do. I try to limit it to when I'm at a stoplight, okay? I text when I'm at stoplights, but sometimes the stoplight changes, and I don't see a change because my head's down and I'm texting.

I don't text when I'm rolling. At least I don't think I do. I might have been guilty of it now and then. But I try. It is totally dangerous. Don't do it. But honestly, have you never done it? Have you never, ever done it?

I think maybe you have. And I could be wrong, but it doesn't matter that we're all part of it, and we hate them that do it, and we must hate people hate us for doing it. And it's so incredible because nothing's really important. Who cares if your buddy just bought a new pair of, nikes. Who cares if your mother just got home and she left the oven on? Who cares if

your plane reservation came in? Everything that's texted could be texted when you've stopped driving. There's very, very little that needs to be texted in order to complete your functionality as a human being in that living moment. There's no upside to texting, and at the end, it could be catastrophically dangerous and hurt people. Texting drivers. It's just a symptom of the technology. And here's what's going to happen, because, you know, I don't know what the stats are, but I'd be terrified to see how many traffic accidents and deaths are caused.

I wonder if texting now outnumbers drunk driving casualties. It'd be an interesting thing to look up. Unfortunately, I'm not the type of guy that does that kind of research. I could. Maybe I will. I don't want to sound slack. But what's going to happen is there's going to come up, there's some type of technology will come up to replace the texting.

I mean, it's probably already there. There's texting where you can just talk and it'll text and record and blah, blah, blah. But something's got to change because it's just too. irresistible. Humans love to be in contact. Humans love to communicate. Humans love to get mail. In the old days, for those of you that are old enough to remember, we used to get mail in our

mailboxes. And it was always a treat. Even if it was a letter from a grandparent or someone we didn't even know that well, even if it was a junk mail sometimes. When you got something in the mailbox, there was a little bit of elation because it's like, you know, somewhere someone out in the world reached out to you, to you, not nobody else, you, your names on that letter. And it was a real treat to get a personal letter or mail in the mailbox.

But those days are gone. And now your personal mail or letter, is a text or an email. And we can't resist that. Because, A, it's like an ego boost. It passes the time. It makes us feel important. It makes us feel wanted.

It makes us feel special. So that's all primal in humans, man. And so we can't wait to read or text back or let people know. And most of it's irrelevant. It's just chit-chat. A lot of the time, it's just goofiness. How many of you get text? from friends is like, hey, jackass, you smell like a bag of turd.

And you're like, okay, one of my best friends just wrote me and said, hey, jackass, you smell like a bag of turd. And for some reason you feel inclined while you're driving to pick up your phone and type, ha, ha, ha, so do you, stinky breath. Idiot. Okay, did that exchange really need to happen at 60 miles an hour on a highway or are going across surface streets through lights and stop signs where there's children and pedestrians no but everybody's doing it man but i just passed six drivers in a row and every single one of them

was texting yeah it's a problem six in a row that that's pretty big i mean to pass six in a row and they're all texting that that's that's like a parade you you sir you just somehow Segwade your vehicle into the middle of a text parade, okay? You got yourself a text convoy, good buddy. Breaker, breaker, come back, nine. We got a text convoy trucking through the night. We got a great big text convoy, ain't you a beautiful sight? Texcomboy, yeah, breaker nine.

I got an LOL here with a hashtag dash, hey, hey, hey, hi, lexicon. Hey, hey, come back now. I'll break her one, nine. Here's a rubber duck. You got a copy on me, a love machine. All 10 for pig pen. For sure, for sure. Bye.

It's clean. Clear to Taco Town. Yeah, we've definitely got us the front door, good buddy. Mercy's sake to live. Looking like we got us a convoys. Okay, I've gone too far. It's ridiculous. It's taken over the freaking world.

It has. And we all have to do our part. to stop it including you my friend I'm I you know I need you to be honest here if you're doing it too you need to stop it because one day you might be going down the street and an old man looks over from his dusty old Nova and he sees you with your head down is like Jesus Christ look at that little whippersneper text in our way or possibly doing some I don't know if they're texting, they could have been doing research online or what have you, but... If there's one thing I hate more than young whippersnappers texting while they're driving is doing research online.

Son's a bitch. I'm going to ram that son of a bitch with my 1973 Nova. Son of a... I'm going to do that as soon as I finish texting my old lady, because we got a great big texting convo. Chuck in through the night We got a great big Convoy Ain't she a texting sight Texting Convoy Arizona

Moon of the 7th of June When they hive hauled over the past Old Dog Mac with a can on back and a jaguar haul an ass He's ten on the floor Stroking four Seat cover starting to cane Now fever you trucking with a rubber duck

And I'm about to pull a plug on your drink Big Convoy trucking through the night we've got a texting convoy we're texting all night text boy yeah that's it i just it's called a text boy it's not a convoy it's a text boy so we'll go out on that be safe stop texting stop making people mad no one else is allowed to text while they're driving except you okay as long as you're driving and texting it's all good but nobody else can well so there you go that's the show

what a show what a wonderful show what a wonderful christopher walking show don't forget to check out my stand-up comedy schedule at harlandwilliams.com I've added a bunch of new dates there so I might be coming to your town or city

very soon and if you're over in Ireland of all places if you're cruising around in Ireland I'm going to be in Ireland, excuse me, at the Cats Laft Comedy Festival in Kilkenny, Ireland. That's going to be May 29th to June 1st. And it's a great festival. I've been there before.

Kilkenny's this picturesque little town in the center of Ireland. And I know the odds are a lot of you. won't be there, but if by some fluke you are, come see the kid in action in Ireland. How often do you get to see old Harley McWilliams doing stand-up comedy over in Europe there, don't you know? Also, subscribe to my YouTube channel when you get to my homepage at harlindwilliams.com and you'll be the first to see any of my wacky videos I put out. And tell your friends about the Harland Highway.

You can click on Amazon at my homepage, you can do all kinds of things. So there you go. Great to have you here. We'll check you next time. And until then, chicken, chamein, baby. It's ridiculous. It's taken over the freaking world.