The Harland Highway - 592 - A death in the family. A visit from CHIN HO, Hawaii 5-0

Episode Date: July 14, 2014

Harland talks about a death in the family, Detective Chin Ho drops by to discuss Hawaii 5-0 crime stories, and a social blunder that might get you in trouble. Plink Plank Plunk!!! Learn more about yo...ur ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Why so somber Harland Well, an interesting show today I'm going to share some bad news with you today
Starting point is 00:00:16 Just for a moment I feel like it's important We're going to talk about A little bit of a tragedy that happened on the show today And then we're going to move on to the funny the silly, the wacky. I think we have a visit from a police officer Chin Ho from Hawaii 5-0. That's what I've been hearing.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I'm not sure that it's happening. I hope it doesn't happen because he annoys me to be honest. He's a nice man, but a little annoying. Anyways, you've heard him here before. I don't know if he's here or not. We'll have to wait and see. also a story a story about a modern day blunder
Starting point is 00:01:03 that could happen to any of us and happened to me something that caught me really off guard that we just kind of take for granted and then boom it lands in your face and I won't tell you what it is you'll have to listen to the show but it could happen to you is what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:01:23 okay so listen up because right now what's happening to you is the Harland Highway You just made a wrong turn onto the Harland Highway I am out here for you You don't know what it's like to be me out here for you It's like I picked the wrong week to quit smoke
Starting point is 00:01:43 I'm funny how I mean funny like I'm a clown I amuse you Like I took the wrong week, quit drink I make you laugh I'm here to fucking amuse you You're riding down the Harland Highway With Harland Williams I buy that for a dollar What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Starting point is 00:01:58 Well, we had a choice. Steak, fish. Yes, yes, I remember. I had lasagna. What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny? Like I picked the wrong week to quit, I'm fit of me. She's got a thoughtful amount of things aside.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Welcome to the Harland Highway. Get the wrong week, quickness and do. Okay, gang. So today's show's a little bit unique. You know, usually I keep it fun and lighthearted and goofy and silly, but for the first, like, five minutes, of the show. It's going to get a little more serious as I pay homage, as I pay a little tribute to my mother who just recently passed away on July 4th. A very sad time. I'm sure there's listeners right now who have had their mother pass away, obviously, or maybe their mother is sick,
Starting point is 00:02:49 or, you know, I don't know. We all have to confront that moment in our lifetime. and it's not easy. It's hard. Your mother is the one that brought you into the world. And it's intense. It's intense. But I don't want to dwell on it. I don't want to go too deeply into it because obviously a very personal thing.
Starting point is 00:03:14 But I always admired my mother for her kindness and her generosity and her intelligence. And I always thought of my mother as a very strong. smart woman. She was very smart academically. She entered university when she was 18 years old. She turned on to be a social worker and a marriage counselor and a teacher and an author and, you know, a hundred other things. And so I was at the hospital by her bedside, you know, just days before she died. And I thought, you know, I'd love to have a little moment where I could, you know, get my mother to if she wanted to leave a little message behind and she knows i do the podcast and she likes that i do the podcast and so i thought you know i want a little message from my mother that
Starting point is 00:04:10 maybe touches you the listeners or whoever happens to come across this little sound bite and so i asked my mother i said mom before you go is there any any words of wisdom anything you'd like to leave for people. I mean, my mom could write a book on it, but I kind of put her on the spot in the moment. And at first, as you'll hear, she kind of used her sense of humor, and then I had to kind of keep pushing her to kind of get to being a little more serious. And I'm glad I did. I sound a little upbeat in the clip because I was trying to pour positive energy and keep her spirits up and keep it light and of course my mom's sense of humor she kind of had me laughing while I was talking to her and she kept kind of going back to one of my movies that I did that she was very
Starting point is 00:05:09 proud of and so anyways like I said I don't want to get too deep into it because it's a very personal thing but I did want to play this clip for you guys and in hopes that maybe Maybe my mother says something in there that rubs off on you or has meaning to you or enlightens you somehow. I felt like personally it was important to, you know, have my mother's voice heard. And it's a little tough because this is just days before she passed away. She's in a hospital bed. She really can't move anymore.
Starting point is 00:05:46 And she's really having trouble speaking. to speak for her was very labored and she found the energy to perk up for this little moment and you know she said a few words and I thought I'd share them with you guys as I said maybe it's a little bit of therapy for me
Starting point is 00:06:08 and at the very least maybe there's something in her words that has value to you so here it is a little clip from my mom just before she passed away and then after that we will get on to back to the silly stuff
Starting point is 00:06:26 so here we go look I'm recording you want to say anything to the world yes I want to say what a lovely son I have and Harland Williams and all our other wonderful children I'm very blessed
Starting point is 00:06:45 what's your message to the world though all the people listening. What's your message to, give them a message of hope and encouragement. Okay, it's the message from Rocket Man. He has the whole world in his hands. No, no. It's got to be your message. What's your, from your heart and your soul? What's your message to everyone listening? My message is he has the whole world in his hands. No, Mom. Stop laughing. What's your message? What's your message? from you, Lorraine Williams, to the rest of the world. This is your chance.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Your philosophy on life. But everything that's created is good. That the world will never be abandoned by God. That all children deserve a happy child. childhood and growing up space and that true love is hard to find but very very desirable to hang on to what you find that's your message and I can put that on my podcast for the world that here? Yes, you may. And give us your name? Beraine Williams. Superstar. Superstar. Jazz singer and writer. Jazz singer. Where's that come from? Let's not push it, Mom.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Let's not push it. Okay, we can make up anything we want. That's right. All right. Well, thanks, Mom. I'm sure people appreciate your message. It's a good one. Good. All right. I'll say goodbye. Bye, dear. Not to meet everybody. Bye, everybody out there and you're listening now. There you go.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Good. So there it is. I hope you don't find that morbid or insensitive in any way. But my mom really liked to talk to people and communicate with people. and her whole life was dedicated to helping people. Helping people. anyways i hope uh i hope there was something there for you guys and rip to my mom great woman and uh love you mom and uh that's it roj let's uh let's go to a commercial i compose myself
Starting point is 00:10:07 we ask people who don't use eyedrops to take the vizine test with both eyes irritated and and red. We put a drop of vizine with tetrahydrosiline into one eye and left the other eye alone. Here's what they said. It does get the red out. The vizine eye is clear. It was very easy to use. Took the red out. I got to agree it did. Take the vizine test and see for yourself. Vizine gets the red out of both your eyes. Vizine gets the red out. It really does. Hello? Hello? Harlan, big fan. Number one, my favorite
Starting point is 00:10:41 is Dr. Ascott. Holland. That was pretty shitty. And my other favorite is Chinho. I love those two guys. I clean pools for a living and I listen to those skits over and over again
Starting point is 00:10:54 and they are fucking hilarious. So do me a favor. Bring me back a little Dr. Escott and little shit. Got one more thing to say to you, Harlan. Pineapple! Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex?
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Starting point is 00:12:04 That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Okay. Wow. I'm glad you, I'm glad you've missed those guys. You know, you might be on to something. Half of this I think you're on to it. Okay. I kind of silently. stopped seeing Dr. Ascock because we've been doing them for years
Starting point is 00:12:42 and you know the powers that be felt like the show was getting stabilized and I didn't need to do on air therapy anymore but you know after the passing of my mother maybe it would be a good thing for me to have him on and talk about
Starting point is 00:12:58 you know death and losing a parent or a family member that might be very therapeutic so maybe down the road I might get Dr. Ascott in here for that thank you but as far as Chin Ho from Hawaii 5-0. I'm glad you like him, but there's no real
Starting point is 00:13:14 reason for him to be here. I mean, we're living on the mainland. Why we care about what's going on in Hawaii in the crime scene, I don't give a crap. And this guy is a nut. I mean,
Starting point is 00:13:29 why do we need to know? What? Hold on. Who's here? You've got to be kidding me. I was just talking about him. There's no way. Get that. Slam the front door.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Oh, God. Do we have to have him? Okay, well, looks like you got your wish, guy. Holt, talk about karma or serendipity or whatever. Apparently Chin Ho is here. He's in the building. Send him in. Good Lord.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Here he is. Chinho. detective from Hawaii 5O police force Hello, Chin Hello Wow, are you Do you have a cold?
Starting point is 00:14:19 No Boy, oh boy Every time you come in here You sound a little bit weaker I'm fine You're fine Yes Okay, well
Starting point is 00:14:31 How's things in Hawaii? Very good, hot Lots of cries A crime. Lots of crime, yes. Yes. And what?
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah. Do you, do we need? Yeah. Do we need to know the crime in Hawaii? It's part of United States of America. I know.
Starting point is 00:15:01 It's one of the states, yes. So we must be included. Okay, but can't we just watch the news or something? No. You have to come into my studio to my podcast and tell us about crime stories in Hawaii. Is that it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Can you just say words nice and short? No. Good Lord. Do you go to any other podcasts and give them the Hawaii 5-0 crime update? No. So why me? Me likey, Harland Highway. Well, I'm flattered, I guess, but...
Starting point is 00:15:47 Yeah. Okay. Boy, oh boy, sometimes it's hard to be irritated with you. Yes. But yet I am. No. Can we just... Why don't we get to the crimes and you can get back to the beat?
Starting point is 00:16:04 Okay And please And I say this Delicately Can we not Have the crimes be Of a certain nature Excuse me
Starting point is 00:16:20 Can we have crimes That are typical Of Landlocked crimes here in the United States That involve knives and guns And not just all involved What? It seems that all the crimes you report on, Chin Ho.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Yes. Seem to be perpetrated by... Yes. I don't even want to say it. Pineapple? No, no. Don't do it. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:16:54 See? Here we go. Here's the stupid music. Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn it off. I see we're going to be going down this street again, huh? What?
Starting point is 00:17:09 You know what I mean? The pineapple street? Oh, God. Oh, why do I let... Turn it off! Just get to your cry. Let's get through it. I know where this is gone, Chin Ho.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. You're welcome. Welcome. Your first crime is... Serial killer. What? We have a serial killer.
Starting point is 00:17:41 You have a serial killer loose in Hawaii? Yes. Oh, my God. Well, that... Okay, that sounds a little dangerous. I didn't realize things were that intense over there. Yes, serial killer. Wow. Reminds me of my favorite cereal.
Starting point is 00:18:01 It reminds you of your favorite cereal. Yes. Which is? Cheerios. Okay, Cheerios, yes? With fresh fruit. Yes, with fresh fruit into it. What kind of fresh fruit?
Starting point is 00:18:20 Pineapple. Ah, come on! What did you do? Are you setting me up now? What the hell is that? Turn it off. Roger? Turn it off.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Turn the stupid theme music off. Turn it off! Is there really a serial killer? Yes. I don't even want to know. Move on. What else is going on in a while? These crimes, these horrible crimes.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Sea turtles dying in the thousands. What? Dying sea turtles? Yes. Okay. Now that makes me sad. because I love the critters. I just saved a turtle a few weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Yes, I listened to Harland Highway. Well, thank you. What is killing these turtles? Rings. Oh, I get it. The six packs from the six packs of Coke or the six packs of beer, those plastic rings. I've seen this.
Starting point is 00:19:26 I've seen pictures of this. Yes. Where people pollute. drop those six-pack rings, the plastic rings that hold the cans together into the water, the turtles get them around their neck, the sea turtles. Yeah, sea turtles. That's what I said. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:46 And they slowly choked to death because as the turtles grow, the rings around their neck don't expand. I didn't say it was pop can rings. What? Not pop can rings Well if not pop can rings around their neck What kind of rings are around a sea turtle's neck in Hawaii A pineapple ring Ah
Starting point is 00:20:12 No no no no I said it pineapple ring Come on Roger Shut the damn music off Shut it up Shut it off Shit, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Here I am getting concerned about these sea turtles dying, and you're telling me that they have rings around their neck? Pineapple rings. Oh, shut it off! Shut it off! Damn it! You're very upset. Yes, I'm upset.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Crime is something to be upset about, and you're making. a joke about it I've got a joke you've got a joke yeah oh boy I can't wait to hear this all your crime stories seem like a joke to me watch it now well I'm just saying chin ho you want to hear my joke any I'd rather hear your joke anything's better than the crime stories that end in the P word okay here's job Okay, tell it. What do you get when you use your iPhone in the forest? What, hold on, what do I get if I use my iPhone in the forest?
Starting point is 00:21:46 I don't know. Pine Apple. Oh, God, oh God. You know what, get them out. Get them out, get them on a boat, buy him a plane ticket. Get the Hawaii 5-0 guy, Chinho, back to the big island. Pine, as in the pine forest. I get it, Chinho.
Starting point is 00:22:08 And Apple, because iPhones made by Apple. Oh, gee, thanks for spilling it out. Put them together. Don't do it. You get... Don't do it. Pineapple. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:22:24 Get out, get out, get out. Ah! Holy crap. This is just going to keep happening, isn't it? Unreal. Roger, go to a commercial. I've already had an emotional podcast. I'm a little vulnerable right now, as you can tell.
Starting point is 00:22:49 I've been through a lot. It hasn't been easy the last few days of weeks, and now you give me this guy. Go to a commercial Oh God And turn that damn music off Turn it off God
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Starting point is 00:23:41 Let's get back to reality here for a minute, shall we, gang? God. Wow. What are the odds? A pavement ponder calls in and says he loves Chin Ho, and I'm like, yeah, I'm glad you love him, but he ain't ever coming back here, and boom, who shows up? Talk about Newton's law or whatever, Murphy's Law.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Whatever bad can happen will happen, or however it goes. Oh. But let me tell you a story that's a little more grounded, a little more down to earth, and kind of an odd story, because it was one of these things that caught me by surprise in this day and age, okay? And I don't know if you guys have been caught off guard by this situation, but, boy, it sure threw me for a loop. And it could happen to you any day, so listen up, children. Gather around the fire, children, and listen up.
Starting point is 00:24:45 So here's the deal. I was in Toronto. I was back home, and I was staying at my cousin's place downtown Toronto. know he was out of town he let me his he let me his pad dude and it was really cool and i got up early one morning i'm like oh there's a lot of little diners and stuff along the road way near his house i'm just going to walk the diners and find a hole in the wall and eat have a nice old fashion bacon and eggs breakfast you know is there anything was there any more great comfort food than that.
Starting point is 00:25:18 So I'm walking along and I bump into this crazy little like mom and pop diner. You know, it looks like it's been there for a million years. It's squished between two other shops, like a clothing store and a shoe retailer. And, you know, it's just one of those streets like you see in New York where it's shop after shop after shop. They're just everything sandwiched together. Okay. And so I go in.
Starting point is 00:25:45 and the name on the sign is just like restaurant. It was like something or other, but the biggest thing there was restaurant. So I looked through the window, and sure enough, it's a skinny little place. It's about the width of a garage. And it's about the depth of maybe, I don't know, like it probably goes back about 80 feet, 90 feet, okay?
Starting point is 00:26:09 And so I go in and I look, and there's at the opening of the little diner, It's the counter with the old bar stools, and it's a little dirty, but I look behind the counter, and it looks like it's an old, like, kind of ethnic, like Greek or Mediterranean husband and wife team. The chef's got a little apron on, and he's got the grill there, you know, the big flat, giant grill where you can sleep on it if it wasn't turned on. And he had the gray hair and the mustache and the apron around his belt
Starting point is 00:26:41 with the stains on it. And the wife looked a little younger, but she looked a little, a little beaten down, but still looked like life was good. And I was like, ah, this is exactly what I wanted. A little mom and pop place. I go in, I walk. I'm going to sit at the counter, and I'm thinking, I think I'll go get a table. So I go to the kind of the midpoint of the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:27:09 I grab a table, and there's this old black dude sitting in front of me. He's doing what I'm doing. He's ordered breakfast, you know, it's like 10 in the morning. He's got a beer gone. And then over to the left of me, it's hilarious. There's these two, like, you know, a buddy of mine, an old comedian of mine used to have a line in his act. My friend Eric Tunney, he had a line called Harley Honey's. And I think that sums it up, okay?
Starting point is 00:27:36 A Harley Honey is pretty much like, you know, a chubby chick with tattoos and kind of looks a little rough around the edges and stocky and looks like she can punch her lights out. So I walk past and at the other table there's a couple of Harley Honey sitting there. And they get the big arms and the tattoos and their hairs pulled back and they look like they've had quite the life. And of course they're sitting there. They're not eating breakfast. They got a couple of beers and Bloody Mary's going on. Okay?
Starting point is 00:28:12 And I'm like, wow, perfect. So I'm sitting in the middle of all this. I get the waitress's attention right away because I'm one of four people there. She goes, what would you like? I look at the menu. It's just simple. Bacon and eggs, pancakes, ham. And I just want to bring me a couple of eggs over medium, some bacon,
Starting point is 00:28:36 and some white toast with some butter on it, and an apple juice. Perfect. I'm loving this little place. I'm kind of eaves dropping on the heart. early honeies or like kind of getting into it. They're getting a little boisterous. They're kind of getting into a little fight, but they're trying to hold back because I think they realize,
Starting point is 00:28:55 you know, they're probably the only ones they got because they're kind of in a weird place, you can tell. And they're talking about doing the laundry, and they're talking about doing all this funny stuff. And in the background, the world, cups playing on a big screen TV, but not a flat screen. Not the modern-day flat screens, the old big screen,
Starting point is 00:29:18 the ones that stand on the floor and were huge and took up half your living room. And the picture wasn't high-deaf, it was kind of fuzzy and pixelated. So we got the World Cup playing behind me, and I'm loving it. This is just the atmosphere I wanted, right? And then all of a sudden the lady comes over,
Starting point is 00:29:38 here's your bacon and eggs, your apple juice. Love it. I eat it all up. I'm listening on more of the heart. Harley Honey's and their Harley Honey chat, the black dude in front of me, he's just minding his own business. He's kind of staring off into space, big grin on his face. I finish my meal.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I look around, I take the place in, and I'm like, man, this meal was like six bucks. And I'm like, look at these people. How much can this place really make? You know, it's old, it's dusty, it's in the middle of kind of nothing. I could tell it was like kind of a husband and wife team that this was their daily existence. This is what kept their lives and their family together. At least that's what I assumed.
Starting point is 00:30:23 I couldn't be wrong. For all I know, they didn't even know each other. But it looked like the dynamic was a husband and wife deal, right? And I'm like six bucks. I'm like, oh, man, I'm going to go up there and give them a big tip. I'm going to give them a tip bigger than the price of my meal. I'm going to give them like 20 bucks. You know, just because at this moment, the ambiance,
Starting point is 00:30:45 this was just what I was looking for, you know, in the world of cheesecake factories and drive-through breakfasts and, you know, everything having a corporate name on it, everyone out marketing their asses off to get your money to buy their processed food. I felt like I walked into somebody's home. I felt like I was in their home and they served me breakfast. It just had that feeling. It was kind of nice.
Starting point is 00:31:12 The air was a bit stale in there. There was a layer of dust on things. But, you know, the food was good. I could see the grill. The grill was clean. The people running it looked healthy and nice. And I thought, man, they're working hard. I'm going to give them a big tip.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I'm going to, it's not like huge, but I'm going to give them double what my damn breakfast costs. I'll give them $20. Now, here's where it gets weird. I get up. The Harley Hunnies have made their way out. They down their last drops of their beers and their Bloody Marys. I walk past the smiling black guy.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I don't turn around to look at the score on the giant television. And I get up to the front and I pull out my visa card and I hand it to them. And as I'm handing it to them, I look on the counter. and there's a sign that you rarely ever, ever, ever, ever see anymore. Cash only. Cash only. Cash only. Yeah, cash only, man.
Starting point is 00:32:25 And I'm like, oh, no. First, the first panic I had was, oh, my God, I don't have cash. Usually I do carry cash, but I'd been hanging around. I'd been spending. So I go, oh, my God. So I start going through my pocket. And sure enough, I had like $6 in bills and like a $1.50 in change. And I'm like, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:32:48 So here I go. I give them the money for the bill. And then I go, here's your tip. I give her a whole handful of change. And I was like, oh, my God, I was going to tip you so much bigger. But you don't take a, you don't take a visa. She goes, no cash only. And then I kind of started going through my mind.
Starting point is 00:33:06 I get it. They're in the hard part of town. They got the smiling glazed over black guys staring at the fan going around. You got the Harley Hunnies who are drinking beers and bloody marries at town in the morning. You got the 1983 big screen TV going. And I realized that this isn't the neighborhood. This isn't the area where people are walking around with credit cards. This ain't the area where even if they had a credit card.
Starting point is 00:33:36 credit card. It'd be like, you know, it could be a white guy with a credit card, and the pitcher on it would be of a Vietnamese guy if you get my drift. It probably wouldn't even be his own credit card. And so that I said to the lady, I said, oh, man, I wanted to give you a big tip. You don't take visa, you just take cash. She goes, it's okay, it's okay, thank you very much. And she was so nice and humble. And I made a point of saying to the guy, this was before I even paid when I first walked up to the counter you know there's no one else around so I said to the to the cook the the husband I said hey delicious and he kind of half turned around like he didn't believe what I said and he turned cocked his head and I went hey sir that was a delicious meal
Starting point is 00:34:23 thank you so much and then he really turned around because he heard it twice he's like in his head he must be going I can't believe it somebody is telling me that my food is delicious I make a piecey eggs, a greasy bacon, I make it a toast. How could this be delicious? But somebody here he thinks it delicious. So I really pushed it. I said, that was really good. Thank you. And it was just
Starting point is 00:34:48 bacon and eggs. It was good. It was delicious, but it wasn't like he made me a lobster Florentine or whatever the hell they're called. Right? And so, and so after all this hoopla, me telling him how great it was.
Starting point is 00:35:04 I go, oh yeah, and here's a handful of quarters for a tip, $1.40. Now, first of all, I was just glad I had enough to pay for everything, because imagine if I didn't, I'd be like, oh, it's only $6, but I can't pay. Here, hold my driver's license and my keys will I go find a bank machine. So anyways, the point of my story is, always carry cash with you. I mean, it is such a weird feeling in this day and age with our cell phones and our credit cards and our cash machines and all that.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Our debit cards, it just feels so weird to not be able to use them. I felt like I'd stepped into an episode of Little House on the Prairie or something where this stuff hadn't been invented yet. Hi, here's my visa card. I'm sorry, what is that? This is my visa card?
Starting point is 00:36:00 I'm going to pay for something. I don't understand. You want to pay for my beautiful bacon and eggs With a little rectangle piece of plastic What are you a fucking idiot No, it's my visa card No, you're a fucking idiot I mean you have fucking delicious breakfast bagel and eggs
Starting point is 00:36:19 You hand me a piece of rectangle plastic You're something of a fucking idiot No sir, I'm not a fucking idiot Well I'd say this is my restaurant I'd say, you're a fucking idiot. So there you go, man. It was a shocker. I walked out of there.
Starting point is 00:36:40 I was like, I felt kind of ashamed. I felt kind of bad. I felt really disappointed that I couldn't give them any money. And it was quite a walk to get to this place. And I knew there wasn't an ATM machine anywhere between there and my cousin's place. And as much as in my heart, I wanted to go, I'm going to find an ATM machine and walk all the way back there. I just didn't have the time or the energy. But if I'm back there again, which I have a feeling I will be,
Starting point is 00:37:08 I'll drop them a big giant tip and even the score. So there you go. Always keep a little cash in your pocket, right, gang? Okay, so let's end the show there. I gave you some great advice. Again, interesting show. Thanks for indulging me, allowing me to play. play that little clip from my mother.
Starting point is 00:37:33 You know, this show is an extension of an expression of me and my world and my life. And I really struggled with, should I let you guys in on such an intimate moment? Should I let you guys into that part of my life that it's painful and hard to deal with? And I thought, you know, yes, I don't keep a lot back on this show. I don't give all the details of my life. but it wasn't so much about, you know, dealing with my relationship with my mother and the ups and downs and the trials and the tribulations. What I really, really wanted to do is, as I said,
Starting point is 00:38:13 I feel my mother was a wonderful woman, and I just really wanted her to, I guess, in a way, not be forgotten. And she won't be, believe me, she has thousands of friends. She touched a lot of lives with all her work and her kindness in the world. but I thought, you know, you guys have never heard from my mother and maybe something in what she said touches you. And that would make me happy. And even if it doesn't touch you, just to know my mother existed
Starting point is 00:38:46 and that she was alive and she was my mom and that you guys got to hear her. And I'll leave it right there. Thank you for allowing me to share that with you. And let me close by saying, I hope your mothers are all healthy and doing well. and, you know, take the time out to say hello, tell your mother you love her, send her some flowers.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Because, like all mothers, one day the mothers aren't there anymore. And I can tell you firsthand, it's a different kind of emptiness. It's a hole in my soul, pardon the rhyme, pardon my rap. It's a hole in the soul unlike I've ever felt before. It's different than any type of losing a girlfriend or a friend dying or, you know, it's really a powerful emptiness when your mother goes away. So I'm glad I could share her words with you. That's as much as I'm going to go into it.
Starting point is 00:39:47 And I, again, my final word to my mom, rest in peace. Mom, love you. And that's it. Let's move on to some announcements. for gosh sakes. And by the way, no thanks to Chin Ho. Just let's have that for the record. As much as I was happy to share my mom with you,
Starting point is 00:40:11 I was not happy to share that annoying cop, Chin Ho, from Hawaii 5-0 and all these stupid pineapple. Oh, God. Get out! Get out! Shut it off, shut it off. Get out. Let's do some announcements.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Wow. He got me. Sticks his head back in right at the end. Thanks for that, Roger. Okay, so let's see. Go to harlornwilliams.com if you want to leave a voicemail. That's 323-739-4330. 3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3.
Starting point is 00:40:50 Harlow Williams.com. You can write me if you don't want to leave a voice message. Check out my stand-up comedy schedule at harloweems.com. I'm doing a big tour starting at the end of June, July, August, right through the fall. I might be coming to your town or city, so check it out. Also, check out the Harlandwilms.com online store at Harlanwiliams.com. And join my YouTube channel. There's a little subscription button down there on the corner,
Starting point is 00:41:23 and if you join for free, if I put up a wacky video, you're the first to see it. So there you go. And outside of that, man, we are golden. Enjoy life, enjoy every minute of life, ladies and gentlemen, because it goes by quickly. And then one day you take your last breath and that's it. So no matter what's going on in your life,
Starting point is 00:41:50 your trials, your tribulations, things that might be bumming, you out, try and rise above them, look around them, and enjoy every moment of your beautiful life. And on that note, until next time, chicken chalmayne, baby, with pineapple. Thank you.

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