The Harland Highway - 600 - ROMANTIC LETTERS with Samuel E. Quoke, Major Tom Dowdy on the Middle East, hot car death.

Episode Date: August 14, 2014

ROMANTIC LETTERS are read today with Samuel E. Quoke, Major Tom Dowdy updates us on violence in the Middle East, hot car death has happened to Harland. Brandish the outlandish!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, boy. What's this? It's all the hookah, Rod. What are you holding up in there? I don't know that folks can hear me. Rod's holding up a sign. What is that, say 600? 600.

What? This is our 600th podcast. Oh, my God. Okay. Well, now I get all this happy, joyous music. wow this is really our 600th podcast ladies and gentlemen welcome to the harland highway podcast i'm harlem williams we're 600 deep what a celebration and and to do it uh i think we have samuel e quelt coming by the studio today to read some romantic summer letters um we're going to talk about a really

deadly sad story i don't know if you've heard these stories about people leaving their kids and their pets in the hot cars in the middle of the summer. Well, wait a hear what I left in a hot car. Could have been a disaster. Also, this war in the Middle East is heating up. Iraq. We got the Palestinians. We got ISIS.

We got Israel. So Major Tom Dowdy from Camp Pendlington is going to be here to help us sort it all out and give us his assessment, his military expertise. It's going to be good. It's the 600 episode of the Harlan Highway. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan, funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff.

Keep it coming. Later. How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn.

On to the Harlan Highway. You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometimes. The Harland Highway You're all going to experience intense, mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't that be doing. I'll do it. I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy.

They're never around here, ain't you? What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Jeez, there they are. There they are. The new titles. The new intro for the Harland Highway.

Why? Well, it's a big day, ladies, and snorgo blargens. Does the number 600 ring a bell? Hello? Yeah, that's right. This is episode 600. Holy jumping crabgrass. That's a lot of friggin' podcasting, man.

That's like hours and days and months and years of time. Woo! Thank you all for riding along with me on the Holland Highway. It's been so much fun. Oh, oh baby, it's so fun. I like the way you ride along the Holland Highway. Oh, baby, yeah. Oh, just keep doing that.

Let's go get some catfish later or something. Um, so, uh, kind of a milestone, um, really, uh, really a fun time we've been having here. So thank you, thank you, thank you for being with us for 600 freaking episodes of the Harlan Highway. Now, let's get to the show. Um, have you heard these stories about people leaving their kids in the car and the kids die? they leave their kids out in the heat will they go into Home Depot or go into buy groceries or going to have a rendezvous

at the Motel 6 we'll leave the line on for you or people leaving their dogs in the cars and they die it's like putting your kids in an oven man or putting your pet in an oven they just start to roast in there they're like rotissory children

So it's horrific And guess what? It happened to me the other day This is horrific Because you know For single guys like me that don't have kids You know I think a lot of you can relate to this Your cell phone is your kid

So I pull into Home Depot the other day And I left my cell phone My iPhone on the front seat of the other day. on the front seat of the car with the windows rolled up and the sun was coming in and I don't know what went on in that car while I was cruising through

the nice air-conditioned hallways of Home Depot in fact I even went down a row where they're selling air conditioners just to rub salt in the wound not only was I you know in air-conditioned

heaven. I was viewing air conditioners. So I go back out to my car after a little while in the Home Depot, and there's my phone sitting there, and I'm thinking, oh, thank God, someone didn't smash the window and steal it. That was my first thought. And then I get in the car, and I thought, well, I better check my messages and stuff. I pick up my iPhone, my little baby, my little baby boy or my little baby girl, whatever I'm in the mood for that day. Maybe one day it's little Danny, and the next day it's little Samantha. I don't know. All I know is my baby, okay?

So I pick it up, I turn it on, and instead of like all my icons coming up and all the stuff I'm used to seeing, this screen fills up, and it says temperature. And there's a thermostat on the screen. It's all black, except for a thermostat. and the red, the mercury in the thermostat is like almost at the very top. And it says iPhone needs to cool down before you can use it. And I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God, I hope there's no cops around.

Can you imagine a like four or five squad cars pull up? Squeak through stock. I don't want me up against my car. Yeah, sir, we were on your child in the car unattended. I'm sorry, what? Yeah, we were on the same, we got to leave your child in the car unattended. I could have boiled the death. It could have melted.

I'm sorry, what are you saying? Yeah, love your child in your car unattended. You could have melted and boiled him. I left my child in my car unattended. I could have melted him or boiled him. Yeah, that's right, sir. Is that an iPhone child? Yes, this is Samantha.

It looks a lot like a Danny to me. No, it's Samantha today. Thank you, sir. You're under arrest. You're going to jail, and you're going to burn in hell. So here's my phone. It won't start. It won't fire up.

And I'm like, oh, my God, oh, my God. And I picked it up. Holy crap. It was boiling hot. I felt like I should have rushed to a massage parlor and said, excuse me, can I get the hot stone massage treatment, please? Yeah, but don't worry about your hot. Hot stones. I brought my iPhone. It's ready to explode.

I mean, this phone was very, very hot to the touch. Like, I couldn't really hold it. I thought if I had a little mini portable coffee maker or even a little frying pan and a couple of eggs, I probably could have done a cookout on the back of my iPhone. So I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And now I'm panicking. I'm thinking, is this thing going to fry? Is this thing going to, you know, you hear these stories about, iPhones and cell phones and computers blowing up.

I'm like, okay, when's it going to go? And I'm like, I better cool this puppy down. I better cool my little baby down. So I blast the air conditioner. And I put my phone right up against the vent. There, there, Samantha. It's okay. Relax, Billy.

Relax. And then I'm thinking, wait a minute. Why am I holding this hot cell waffle phone in my hands? It's going to blow my fingers off. So now I'm getting scared, and I put it down for a minute. And I'm like, ah, it should be okay. So I pick it up again. And I'm cooling my phone down as I drive up against the air conditioner vent.

And surprisingly, it cooled down pretty fast. Like it cooled down real fast. But then I was worried, you know, sometimes. you know like on a bridge they've got those perforations or perforations in the uh asphalt and the concrete there's like these little openings because you know materials expand and contract metal and wood expand and contract in the heat and the cold and then i thought uh oh my boy what if i'm putting my boiling cell phone up to a source of cold and there's going to be some instantaneous expanding and contracting

and they kind of rip each other apart and I tear my iPhone to pieces. Oh, what a dilemma. I should have been arrested. I should have been arrested for cell phone negligence. So just be warned. A warning to all of you out there. Be careful.

Don't leave your little precious baby out in the heat. make sure to crack the windows so your cell phone can get some fresh air and be careful wear gloves don't burn your fingers you may be coming up on our westbound side of the freeway hey everybody who wants to have better sex no yes yes the answer is yes you always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged

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Don't throw your back out. Okay, let's move on. You know, it's summertime, and every summer we have this guy come in. And I guess, according to our producers, Roger, You know this. He's some kind of, I question it. I'm sorry, but he's some kind of eloquent author, poet, writer. He's a wordsmith and apparently specializes in the field of romance writing.

And every summer, you know, because a lot of people experience summer romances. We have this guy in. Samuel E. Quowke comes in and reads some of his romance. letters and I'm a little I'm not convinced they're that romantic but you know I'm not the guy that says who gets on the show

I wish I was so without further ado let's bring them in here Roger is he out there come on in Samuel E. Quoak how are you sir very very good thank you very much okay

so it's summertime Quite obviously, yes. Okay, well, I'm just said, yes. Okay, I'm here to read some romantic letters. Yes, I just said that in the intro. May I proceed, please? Well, I was going to give you a little set up. I don't know what needs to be set up for a romantic letter.

A romantic letter is a romantic letter. Well, okay, pardon me, Samuel E. You are pardon, sir. I didn't mean it for real. Do you mind if I read, please? Oh, well, excuse me. I've already excused you. Do mind if I read, please, my romantic letters.

Go ahead. God, attitude. Thank you very much. My dearest Belinda, I'll never forget. It was a hot summer afternoon. We were traipsing through a field full of wheat in the countryside, birds fluttering about, insects filling the air and billowy clouds peaking the heads over the horizon. The sun beamed down on us, a slight summer breeze tickled our noses, and as we tracked along in the merry summer heat, we stumbled across a set of railroad tracks, in the distance. we could hear the locomotive chugging along, straining to cut through the long, long miles that it had to traverse.

And in an instant I had a wonderful romantic idea that we take pennies from my pocket and place them on the train track and sit and giggle and be amused when the train came by and flattened the pennies out. As the train chugged ever closer, I placed my penny on the track. And as the train chugged closer yet, you put your penny down. But alas, you had a wonderful frock on with long, frilly sleeves, ruffled at the ends by your wrists, and somehow the fabric got caught in the end of one of the railroad spikes, and you had the most horrible time having a tug of war with your sleeve,

trying to pull it away before the train came. And the train yet came closer and closer, Closer still, and you strained and screamed, and your pink skin turning red, the veins in your forehead protruding as you began to fill with fear and panic. You pulled and tugged the fabric, the cotton on your dress, your sleeve, not giving any leeway, and the train inches from your arm, you screamed a horrible high-pitched, screamed, and then, like an automobile running over a sky. skunk or a raccoon, the train rolled right across your arm and severed your arm. I remember you jumping backwards, a steady stream of blood, spurting from your severed nub. Your arm laying in the tracks, thrashing around, the penny still in the fingertips. You reeled backwards...

Excuse me! Excuse me? I'm sorry. Whoa, whoa, whoa, guy! Do you mind, please? I'm reading. I don't know what you're reading, guy, but that is like vile. I'm sorry, she puts a penny down on the track, her sleeve gets caught, and the train cleaves her arm off. Do you mind if I read my own story without your input, please?

I hope this gets a little more romantic guy, because this is making me a little bit Queasy, do you mind, please? Fine, go ahead, Samuel E. Quoak, thank you very much. Well, go! Thank you very much. You're welcome very much. I'll never forget as you stumbled backwards through the thick wheat. Unbeknownst to us, there was a fox's den in the middle of the field. You took three or four steps backwards and actually fell into the foxes.

One of the cuddly little creatures ran up and stared with an astonished face. Well, the other five foxes in the den glared at you with yellow and red eyes. Apparently they'd been infected with the rabies virus. As you struggled to get out of the fox's den, your spurting nubs sprayed the rabid foxes with blood, infuriating them even further, causing their rabies to accelerate. and in the blink of an eye as you looked at me with a desperate face five rabid foxes attacked your face

nipping at your flesh ripping chunks of garbagey flesh off your face and me just standing there helpless to get in the way in fear of getting rabies the fox is sinking their fangs into your throat and your chest ripping... Excuse me! Excuse me, sir? Yes, excuse me, sir! Come on, Guy! I'm sorry if you don't have any romance in your life, sir,

but I, for one, do. This is not romantic. This is grizzly. I'll ask you to keep your opinions to yourself. Clearly, you don't have a woman in your life. This is just... This better get better. Better real quick, guy, because this is off the rails.

Do you mind if I proceed, please? Hurry up, get it over with, Psycho. Do you mind, sir? Hurry up! God, you freaking... You're like Hannibal Lecter's sister, Hanelisse Lecter. Do you mind with the name-calling, sir?

Hurry up, Quoak! Finally, you were able to... to get up out of the foxhole one of the pup still hanging on your left breath it's fangs stuck into your nipple and you charge through the field

thrashing and wailing your squirting arm nub still spouting into the air like the blowhole of a whale and as you twirled and thrashed through the wheat suddenly over the ridge

a herd of wild bison in the middle of a The furious stampede came crashing over the horizon line. You rate in their paths, their sturdy, thick hooves crushing you underneath them, rolling you like a finely rolled piece of fresh dough on a baker's kneading board. You were rolled through the wheat, your ribs cracking, your cheekbones being crushed, your legs snapping backwards. Hold on, guy! That's it. Get out of here.

I'm not finished out. I don't care. I feel sick. Get the hell out of here, Quoak. And as you tried to struggle to your feet as the buffalo ran away, a giant bolt of lightning came out of the sky and made your legs explode, char-broyled nubs thrashing in the sky.

Your knees nowhere to be found. Get out of here! That's it. Get out of here, Quoak. Do you, I do mind. Get them out, Roger. Sick fuck. Excuse me, sir.

You heard me, Quowk. Out. God. Roger? I don't know what to say, folks. I'm sorry. I feel very, very ill. That was disgusting.

Romantic letter, my hairy Asian ass cheeks. You know, that guy can just go suck a Reese Witherspoon sandwich is what he can do. I think I'd like that, sir. Get out of here! All right, let's... This guy's done. I'm moving on to the next topic, Roger. Let's go.

Sicko. I really enjoyed her pretty and pink movies, so wonderful. Get out! Wow. You know, Roger, I don't know what to say. We're at 600 episodes and we still got guys like this coming on. Really? Boy, oh boy. If we could just have someone real that that wasn't.

isn't out of their mind. Is that doable? Just to get someone a little little more real that's not out of their mind. Well, we have someone on the line. Who is it? Oh.

Okay, this guy's not bad. This guy's real. Major Tom Dowdy, the military guy. Yeah, there's all this new stuff going on in the Middle East and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. let's put that that might be just the ticket yeah put them through okay this is good ladies and gentlemen

this this is a pick me up there's idiot reading romance letters but now we have someone who's really got his head in the real world uh major tom dowdy he's a ex-military man works uh works down at camp pendlington uh i guess he still circulates uh in the military uh he's a amazing Major from the Army, and he's going to talk to us about the unfolding issues happening in the Middle East. Major Tom Dowdy, are you there, sir? Sir, Major Tom, are you there, sir? Yes, go ahead, please. This is Major Tom Dowdy.

Yes, sir, Major. Good to have you back on the podcast. That's an affirmative, sir. That is a affirmative. We have a go. have a go for the podcast. Go ahead. Okay, sir, listen, this whole Middle East is just heating up. Heating up like a Vietnam skirt steak, sir.

A Vietnam skirt steak. That is an affirmative. We have a go on that, sir. Okay. Well, we've got the ISIS problem in Iraq. slowly starting to overtake and besiege all these Iraqi cities. I hear they're 60 miles from Baghdad. We have the Palestinians and the Israelis firing rockets at each other. It's just coming off at the hinges, Major Tom Dowdy. Yeah, that's Major Colonel Tom Dowdy.

You don't mind. Yeah, the major, uh, colonel. Thank you very much. Listen to here. Boy, oh, boy, there is a lot of stuff going down in the Middle East, and I got to tell you, uh, when I was in Vietnam, and I was crawling through the underbrush, okay? I was crawling around in the underbrush covered in mud up to my tits flaps, okay? Uh, tit flap, sir

That's right, you heard me Civilian, I was crawling through that Vietnam, man, Vietnam, Vietnam, Vietnamese Vietnamese mud Like a pig rolling in a caramel corn shitter, okay?

I was crawling around, covered in fucking ants, and I don't know if you've ever come face to face with a Chinese scorpion. Sir, are you okay? Yes, it's just I get emotional. I don't know if you've ever come. Sir?

Have you ever? Sir, are you okay, sir? Have you ever come face to face? Sir, sir, are you okay? Okay. Sir? sir i have we got a bad line here roger i feel like he's cutting in and out he's trying to say something and i don't know what it is what he's still there okay well this is i i don't hear

him he's cutting in and out all right let's let me get back to him uh uh major tom what i'm asking you is if you ever come face to face with the chinese scorpion in the middle of the jungle uh no sir i've never even been in the jungle well let me tell you something when you've been through the hell i've been through okay sir what is that hissing noise that's my uh agent orange lung i picked that up in vietnam but uh let me get back to my point yes sir if you wouldn't mind what's that supposed to mean civilian. No, I just mean it felt like you were getting a little off track

right there. Well, well, well, look at you sitting there in your plush little studio in your office depot chair and your staples computer table. And I spent

four fucking years in Vietnam crawling through the jungle with fucking sea scorpions and fucking Vietnamese. monkey eels and all kinds of crap, and you're telling me that you're... Sir, if we could stay on track here, please? I believe we were talking about the Middle East.

That's right, exactly. I'm telling you what? President Obama has ordered some military strikes from the air, and these are precision strikes. We are not going through any sovereign airspace. we are coming off the aircraft carriers out in the Mediterranean Sea, okay? And we are flying over Iraqi airspace, and they are dropping. They are dropping the big boys.

What do you mean the big boys? You know what I mean, civilian. The big boys. Not sure what the big boys are, sir. The big boys. are the big fucking bunker buster bombs that if you were sitting in your shithouse at your long cabin

halfway through pinching one off one of these motherfuggers would come right through the roof and wipe your ass for you I didn't know what I mean civilian what Okay sir sir sir sir And what we got to do is we got to get behind The President of the United States of America and he's got to go in

and he's got to stop the momentum here what I'm saying he's got to stop the momentum because these people if you don't cut the tail off the snake the head's going to eat the baby pig

I'm sorry sir could you explain that if you don't cut the tail off the snake okay the head is going to eat the baby pig Um

Are you fucking getting me here, civilian? Sir, if you could just cut the language down a little. Well, look at you telling me how to speak. You think I cut the language down when I was in a P.O.W. camp in Vietnam when they were serving me dirty river water with 12 grains of rice. When a fucking cockroach crawling up the water,

Wal, tasted like a T-Bone steak at Denny's. I'll tell you what kind of language I'll use, you little fuck, okay? Until you've been strapped down to a bamboo bed and whipped with sugar cane all night. And that hot water drizzled on your fucking eyebrows. Fucking bamboo shoots shoved right under your fucking toenails, so it felt like some of them was fucking... hammer and fucking copper wire right through your fucking veins, okay, buddy boy. Until you've been a P-O-W, you can just go fucking suck a fucking Stephen Tyler from Arrow Smith

sandwich, okay? You can fucking kneel down, buddy boy, and suck Nellie Frittato's fucking magic slippers, you dirty fucking... Sir! I'm sorry. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If we could, can we cut to the, let's get out of the ISIS stuff in Iraq. Okay, sir, that's an affirmative. Why don't we switch gears and the conflict in Israel and the, with the Palestinians,

this has been going on forever and ever. Is this ever going to be resolved? It seems like it's just a comedy, not even of error, It's just a tragic comedy. It's not even a comedy. It's a sad, sad, sad drama. I'll tell you what it is. It's a fucking sad, sad war movie is what it is.

You know, I think I agree with you there. That might have been what I should have said. It's a sad, sad, sad war movie where there's no winners, okay? Nobody crawls out of the trenches in this story. nobody steps out of their tanks nobody washes the ancient orange off their burned flesh the way I did

when I fucking crawled I'm talking have you ever seen a fucking snail crawling around in your garden just slithering all over your fucking cucumbers and your fucking tomatoes and leaving that fucking shit trail

all over your fucking vegetables Well, that's what I did. I crawled my greasy ass right out of the Vietnamese jungle. Sir, we all appreciate your commitment and your service to the country. And please don't take this the wrong way. I think there's a time when you have to kind of hang it up and move on, and the past is the past. We can't change what.

happened to you i know it wasn't pretty i i know it was ugly war as hell but if we could just stick with the the here and the now sir well look at you uh look at you sitting there with your Nike sports socks on and your fucking uh wrangler jeans and your fucking uh who knows what kind of shirt a fuck like you wears excuse me you're sitting there air in your air-conditioned studio. Well, I sat in a hot box in Vietnam at the prisoner of war camp. I was in a metal box, three feet

by four feet wide. Okay, 32 days in a hot box. Do you know how much weight I lost, citizen? I lost 43 pounds. in 32 days when I walked out it wouldn't let me correct myself when I fucking crawled

out of that hot box like a slimy garden snail with vagina grease all over it I looked like a rack of ribs from Tony fucking Roma's okay the only thing missing on my fucking ribs with the barbecue sauce of the fucking parsley

did you say parsley sir The motherfucking Parsley. Okay, I looked like a fucking walking skeleton right out of Jason and the Argonauts. Sir, please, I respect you were in a P.O.W camp and a prisoner of war, but can we just address the issues happening right now in real time? Absolutely, absolutely. That's an affirmative. Thank you, sir, because we are running out. out of time here.

I understand. Hamas and Israel will never, ever end this conflict, okay? The divisions between these two countries run so deep and so, so divisive that you'd sooner see a monkey humping the. leg of a goddamn rhinoceros. Okay. Major, that's your assessment? Yes, it is.

Okay, so let me get this straight. Hamas, the Palestinians, and the Israelis have about as much chance of having a truce, finding peace, as a monkey humping the leg of a rhinoceros. That is an affirmative. That is correct, sir.

We have a go. We have a go. Okay, I think we're going to go, sir. I don't know if this really worked for us here. Well, look at you with your fancy fucking floss teeth. Okay, can we not Go have another flashback here Well, how about you, you dirty?

No, no, no, hang up, Roger. Hang up. Not going to... Thank you, sir. Thank you. I was in a prisoner of war camp And I ate fucking wardhog feces, okay, you preppy little son of a fuck.

Hang up on him. God. Roger. This is just... That was about... Six minutes of the... We didn't learn a thing. I'm almost missing Samuel E. Quoque all of a sudden.

As the burnt skin flaked off her lightning-melted body, she rolled onto the ground and a bunch of hungry hornets started stinging her melted eye socket. Stop it! Get them off! Roger! This has been episode 600, and what a blowout. Two goofy guests, and I don't feel like we got anything done today. Aye, aye, aye, aye, y, let's just, I got to shut it down, folks. I'm sorry for the nutbags.

But we tried our best. We made it to 600. Let's do some announcements. Let me clear my head. My God. Okay, let's do some announcements. My goodness. All right, first and foremost, ladies and schnertel Blurgens.

I guess my first comedy gig of the fall season is coming up real quickly. It's the end of August. It isn't fall. It's still summer, but it's leading. to fall. I'm going to be in Virginia Beach at the Funny Bone, August 28th through August 31st, which is a great club down there. I hope all my peeps who, all my military peeps who are fans of Down Periscope will show up. Maybe even Major Tom Dowdy will show up. I don't know. And then from there, we roll into, I'm going to be in a feat.

Phoenix, Arizona, on September 11th through the 14th. I'll be in Phoenix, Arizona at a brand new club called The House of Comedy. Oh, my God. I'm going to be opening that club. It's brand new and very exciting stuff. And then as I told you, in September 19th, I'm going to be in Utah, Odgin, Utah, at Wise Guys. That'll be the 19th through the 20th.

That's a Friday and Saturday show. And then Comzilla comes to town. Okay? Yeah, that's right. The Western Canadian tour starts, the Comzilla Comedy Tour, destroying your city with laughter. We start on September 23rd.

It's a two-week tour rolling right through Victoria, Vancouver, Saskatoon, Regina, Calgary, Prince Albert, it's all over the place. So make sure you check my website. The Comzilla Comedy Tour will be September 23rd through to October 4th. It's going to be at the Comedy Mix in Vancouver on Sunday, September 28th. It's a special show. they're opening the club just for just for us to do the comzilla comedy tour to all kinds of great stuff go to my website harloweems.com check on the stand-up link and make sure that you get your

tickets ASAP for the comzilla comedy tour you can you can click to the link right through my website and reserve your tickets don't be disappointed and wait Because that's how you don't get a good seat. Or you don't get a seat at all if we sell out. Just warning you. Also, while you're at harloweems.com, please click on my YouTube channel subscription button. You will be the first to get all my crazy videos,

and there's going to be a lot of them coming out starting in the fall, believe me. So you don't want to miss that. It's free. It's just free entertainment for you. While you're there, check out Harlow Williams.com, the store, where you can buy fun merchandise. And also check out all things, comedy.com, which is a podcast network, where you can also find my podcast. Lots of other funny comedians on board over there, too, doing their podcasts. Nothing like sharing the comedy around.

And please make sure to tell your friends. to get on the Harland Highway. I think they'll enjoy it. How can you not enjoy a show with Samuel E. Kowke and Major Tom, whatever his name is, Dowdy. Good Lord.

Is anyone listening right now? Hello? Knock, knock, knock, knock. Hello? Is anyone even still here? I don't blame you. Hey, boy. So that's it for now, gang. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for sticking. with us some of you might be original pavement pounders rate from episode one if you are i give you a special special thank you not that the rest of you aren't great but you know for the for those of you that have been with us for 600 episodes my god that is you just deserve like an extra shout out i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here and staying committed and being a fan and riding with us every week. And that means a lot to me. That means a hell of a lot to me.

And I really, really appreciate it. For those of you that are newer listeners, I certainly appreciate you just as much, and I hope you're with us for 600 more. How's that? But really, really means a lot. From the heart, you guys, this is so much fun to do

and to know you guys are out there getting off on it and enjoying it, having some laughs. You know, I get letters from you guys. Nothing tickles me more than when I hear people tell me they're in their cubicle or they're out in public or they're somewhere and they're just laughing and people are staring at them and looking at them and wondering what the hell's going on. And to know that you're listening to something ridiculous on the Harlan Highway is tickles me pink.

So let's keep going. let's keep doing it and uh thanks again you guys that's it for today until next time chicken chameh baby that is an affirmative that is correct sir we have a go we have a go