The Harland Highway - 601 - BBQ Eddy, Aliens, Facebook, and AUNT RUTHIE!

Episode Date: August 18, 2014

The NEW Facebook, bad or good? BBQ Eddy still looking for ribs to share. Harland does some live STAND UP about Aliens. And Aunt Ruthie calls in and tries texting while she's driving. Steam my dream!! ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh my gosh, what a show we got today, man. Yeah, that's right. I'm so excited I went into another voice right out of the gate there. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Great to have you here, pavement pounders. We are going on a ride today. We are getting off on all kinds of crazy exits. We're going to be hearing from Barbecue Eddie today.
Starting point is 00:00:24 I think he's out there canvassing the world looking for someone to have a barbecue with him. So that's cool. We're going to be talking about Facebook and how it's evolving and how it's changing and how it's getting a little more creepy, a little more weird, but yet at the same time, a little more entertaining and kind of, I don't know, what we're going to talk about it. Facebook's transitioning, and is it for the better or for the worse? Let's talk about it.
Starting point is 00:00:53 I got a voicemail from my Aunt Ruthie. I haven't listened to it yet, but I don't know if you guys, have heard my aunt Ruthie, but she likes to call me from her cell phone when she's driving, and it never ends up good. So let's see what she's up to. I'm also going to be talking, I'm going to be doing a stand-up comedy bit, talking about aliens coming to planet Earth. Ooh, scary, scary, scary aliens coming to Earth. So we've got some live comedy, Aunt Ruthie, Barbecue Eddie, Facebook. It's going to be fun. It's always fun here on the Harland Highway.
Starting point is 00:01:30 You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan. Funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming. Later. How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn.
Starting point is 00:01:51 On to the Harland Highway. You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime. The Harland Highway. You're all going to experience intense, mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't let me do it. I'll do it, I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy.
Starting point is 00:02:15 You're new around here, ain't you? What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams. The Rotten Luck. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Jeez, you're listening to the Harland Highway there, boy, don't you know? Oh, dear boy, hey. How's it going, gang?
Starting point is 00:02:33 Welcome to the show. I'm Harland Williams. And we're going to have some fun today. I want to start with Facebook. I think Facebook is going through a bit of a transformation. I think we're all on Facebook. But, you know, there was a time when you'd go on Facebook and, you know, you'd see posts, you know, Hey, I'm at work.
Starting point is 00:02:57 hey, my sister died, hey, there's a party, there's a music festival, you know, every now and then you'd see a picture, someone holding up their baby or someone hugging their dog and and all this and that. But now, Facebook has gotten very, very, very video heavy. You know, I used to, you know, take or leave Facebook. I'd go on for a minute, maybe say hi to a few people. Maybe they'd say hi to me. I'd come, I'd go, never stayed on Facebook very long.
Starting point is 00:03:32 But now Facebook is doing something where the news feed, the main feed is tons and tons of people are starting to post videos now. And now I kind of dread going on Facebook because I get caught up in it. It's like every third post is a video, and there's a lot of interesting videos. I think Facebook might start to give YouTube a run for its money. because most of the videos are fast and quick and kind of, they're fairly interesting, which is a little scary. They're very entertaining. They're very strange.
Starting point is 00:04:09 And I dare say they're getting a little shocking and extreme. It's becoming a little sensationalistic, if that's even a word. These submitted videos are really starting to push the boundaries. Now, there's some great videos. Like, I could go on in a sitting and see a Marine returning from Iraq and its dog. Hasn't seen it in, you know, a year. And as the Marine walks in the door, the dog goes nuts and starts crying and jumping and wagging its tail. Or you can see people getting, you know, doing real funny marriage proposals.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Or you can see, you know, little pet, little pet piggies. you know, chasing around a squeaky toy. Like there's stuff that's super cute. But then in the mix, man, I'm seeing stuff that's pretty horrific. I was on one day, and this was within 20 minutes, I just kind of scrolled down. And I'm not kidding, I saw about a four-minute video of a woman beating a...
Starting point is 00:05:24 baby. Someone posted it. Obviously, they were saying, hey, we've got to find this woman, we've got a prosecutor. But I clicked on it, and it was this Asian woman in her house or in some kind of building sitting on a mattress, her baby faced down on the mattress, her other children standing at the end of the bed, and then somebody filming her with a cell phone, talking to her, well, she repeatedly struck her baby. with a pillow, smacked her baby in the face, hit the baby in the head, pinch the baby, smashed the baby's feet with something. It looked like a cell phone or something.
Starting point is 00:06:08 I mean, it was incredibly horrific to watch. It made me depressed to be a human being while I was watching it, yet it was so riveting. When in life do you see a baby being hit? and to be honest, you don't ever want to see a baby being hit, but it's such an anomaly. It's such an odd and peculiar thing to see. Guiltally, I found myself not being able to turn away, even though I was repulsed and I felt sick and angry and infuriated.
Starting point is 00:06:42 I just wanted to help that baby. I wanted to smash that woman through a wall, man. It literally turned my stomach. This poor baby just scurried. screaming and crying and so helpless. I'm talking like a baby that wasn't even a year old. It couldn't even stand up and walk, and it finally kind of got up on its haunches
Starting point is 00:07:03 and crawled towards the mother reaching out for her to love the baby, and the mother, like, smashed it back down with the pillow, flattened it on its face and kept hitting it. Oh, my God, I'm like, is this what's on Facebook? Do I need to see this? Does anybody need to see this? But it's like the old car wreck thing, you can't look away. And it's compelling, but it's disturbing.
Starting point is 00:07:32 And I guess if there's any upside, it made me become even more, you know, more, what's the word, a proponent of looking out for kids? You know, it made me feel like a mother grizzly bear. and protecting her cubs, even though this was just a film clip. I'm like, man, if I ever see someone touching a kid, I'm going to run in there and flatten them, man. So I don't, you know, if there is an upside to any of that, that's what it was.
Starting point is 00:08:06 I guess it made me feel more and more protective towards kids, but, God, it was hard to watch. I had to stop watching it. I couldn't watch the whole thing, man. So anyways, I'm watching that, and then I stop because I couldn't take it anymore and I scrolled down and here's like a city camera
Starting point is 00:08:28 of a view, a traffic camera of a view of a crosswalk and I'm like, oh, what's happening here? It looked like the one that the Beatles walked across with all the striped lines on the road. I'm like, okay, here's some people out for a walk on a Sunday and all of a sudden some kid comes across the crosswalk on a bike And I guess some car didn't know there's a crosswalk there And literally comes flying through the crosswalk
Starting point is 00:08:54 Hits the kid on the bike And the kid on the bike goes flying through the air The bike explodes The kid's body turns into a rag doll Flies through the air Probably goes about 100 feet And smashes to the ground in a crumpled heap Oh my gosh
Starting point is 00:09:15 It was shocking to see I mean it was obviously an accident But is this what we want on Facebook? And then it gets worse. I scroll down and all of a sudden there's a picture of a guy. There's a film clip, a video clip of a guy. I guess it's in India or Indonesia or something. There's a guy in a cage with a full-grown lion.
Starting point is 00:09:40 And the lion's got the guy's shoulder in his mouth. There's blood everywhere. And everyone's yelling and poking. sticks through the cage trying to separate the lion from, I guess it was his trainer or something. So the lion pulls the guy away from the cage and drags in the middle room and then sinks his fangs in even deeper. It looked like into the side of the guy's neck and head. And he's holding him there for this video lasts for about three minutes, four minutes, and people are standing around and yelling and finally a security guard comes in.
Starting point is 00:10:17 and shoots at the friggin' lion about four times before the lion kind of lets go and rolls over on his back and slowly dies. And then they're trying to revive the guy who's been mauled. And I don't think he made it. They're laying there like giving him mouth to mouth and pumping on his chest and he's not responding. And the lion's laying in the background on,
Starting point is 00:10:39 he's like on his bed. It's like, holy crap. So YouTube is becoming Or not YouTube Facebook is becoming a real Kind of three ring circus of You know comedy There's some really funny videos
Starting point is 00:10:59 There's some real life Like car accident videos There's cute videos There's love videos But also in the mix There's these kind of horrific videos And so, you know, now when you kind of go on Facebook, it's kind of, it's a game changer. It's like, it's like now you get kind of compelled to stay there and scroll and find these videos that are quite amazing, I have to say.
Starting point is 00:11:33 I mean, you know, and then there's always stuff human beings do that you just, you never even think about it. There was a guy dropping balls on a keyboard dressed in a clown suit, and he was actually playing a song by dropping balls in a standing position. The keyboard was on the floor, and he's actually playing a song. There's a video of an Indian family where the little boy looks. He's like probably five years old, but he looks 40, and he's moonwalking and dancing. and I mean, Facebook is getting, it's captivating. I don't know if you're having the same experience, but let me know if you are.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Because it is, it is bizarre. It is really, it's really changing. It's gone from just being, in my mind, it's gone from being kind of a social interactive site to almost like an entertainment site now. where you're starting to see some really amazing things. So I don't know if that's going to give YouTube a run for its money or what, but pretty wild.
Starting point is 00:12:51 So check it out. And speaking of checking things out that are pretty wild, I think Roger was saying, we got a phone message from who, Aunt Ruthie? Oh, God. Okay, talk about shocking. All right. put it through, and, uh, you know, it's my Aunt Ruthie. I can't not listen to her phone messages.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Um, she always seems to be getting into trouble somehow. I feel bad for her, but she is my auntie. And, uh, let's play it. Play, uh, play the message from Aunt Ruthie, Rod. Hello. Hello, Holland. Hello. Hi, honey, angel. How are you today? Dahl? Hi, it's Aunt Ruthie calling Holland. I'm calling from Root. Just in New York. How are your little angel down there in Hollywood making your movies and your television commercials and your sitcoms and whatnot? Your Uncle Harry and I are so proud. I was so proud of you.
Starting point is 00:13:51 We're like, if we could bronze you and put you up on the mantel place, we would. Just a little Hollywood Holland is what you are to me and your Uncle Harry. want you to know that even though we're up here in rochester rochester new york it doesn't mean we don't think about your little angel okay anyways enough about that holland i'm calling because am ruthie's in a little bit of trouble today oh my goodness i tried it for the first time the texting while you're driving and i don't know if i did it right because i well let me let me back it up a little holland here's what happened. It's hot here in the middle of the summer. You know how sticky the air gets up here in Rochester? I mean, it's sticky like a fucking, like a pair of, you know, your uncle Harry's
Starting point is 00:14:50 dirty underpants stuck to the side of a cottage. You know what I'm saying? Just of the yellow piss colored underpants stuck to the wall. And that's how sticky it is. I mean, I've got to tell you Holland, my old petunia, the lips were stuck to keep. Excuse me, Holland. The lips were stuck together. It was so sticky this morning. I had to put vinegar and onion soup on it to get it. Anyways, listen, Holland, I stopped in to get some ice cream.
Starting point is 00:15:27 I got it in a dish. You know how they're over the basket robins. They put the ice cream. in the dish to 45 flavors or whatever the hell it is. Do you remember when you were a little boy, we were up on the boardwalk in Rochester, and
Starting point is 00:15:44 your uncle and Harry and I, we took you for an ice cream over at the 49 flavors. And we were like, what would you like? There's all kinds of flavors. There's raspberry ripple. There's Tiger, Tiger. There's Lemon, Sherbert.
Starting point is 00:16:01 There was Rocky Road, butterscotch, ripple all these wonderful flavors. It's like somebody fucking blew up a rainbow or something, okay? And out of all those flavors, we'll never forget. Me and your Uncle Harry will never forget, because we talked about it for ages, Holland. You ordered the goddamn vanilla,
Starting point is 00:16:21 and we went home that night, and we thought, my God, our little feckle-faced angel is 100% queer. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better,
Starting point is 00:16:39 not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, I will be packaged and sent discreetly. for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a clickaway. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So, be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Now, we know now that you're not queer Harlan, but when you ordered that vanilla, 79 flavors, we were convinced you was, you know, riding on the wrong side of the subway rails or something, and, you know, Little Angel, but we know you've had girlfriends and whatnot. Anyways, Arland, I ordered some mint chocolate chip ice cream over at the 72 flavors,
Starting point is 00:18:14 and I'm driving along, and it's hard enough to eat the ice cream with a spoon where your hands are on the steering wheel. You know, everything is dripping all over the place. It looks like, you know, a Chinaman with a bloody nose. And what happened is I decided I tell Uncle Harry, that I was on my way home from the 74 flavors and I thought I'd try the texting
Starting point is 00:18:40 and so here I am Holland, little angel I'm driving along and I'm my arthritic fingers are all curled up like fucking puppies in a puppy bed you know what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:18:53 out fucking bent and fucking sucking milk and stuff and I'm texting with one hand and I'm fucking eating mint chocolate the chip ice cream with the other hand, and I'm trying to keep my hands on the steering wheels, and I'm like, what am I? Some kind of a fucking octopus? I'm 85 years old, Holland. I don't have
Starting point is 00:19:15 eight hands and eight fingers. You know what I'm saying? How am I supposed to? How am I supposed to drive my vehicle and eat ice cream and text at the same time? I think these are things little old ladies like if Aunt Rupy shouldn't have to go to. Hang on. Somebody's honking at me. Excuse me. Can you not honk at me? I'm talking to my nephew. Okay? Or my grandson or whatever the fuck he is. That's right. He's in Hollywood doing the movies and whatnot. How dare you? And I'm trying to eat ice cream and text. Son of a bitch. Go suck a Nelly Fittato sandwich. Anyways, Holland. Here's what happened. So I'm trying to do a million things at once, like I'm some kind of squids, swimming backwards in the Mediterranean sea squirt and ink all over the place, you know, those dirty
Starting point is 00:20:10 Mediterranean. And all of a sudden, I guess I wasn't looking, and I drove, my aunt Ruthie drove a car right through a park where the children were playing, and I think I ran over seven or eight children. I had screaming and body stumping, and something flew over the windshield, like a fucking demented dragonfly or something. Some kid with fucking boogly-googly-eyed glasses fucking smashed my windshield and flew up over the roof and I think he landed on a fucking fire hydrant to something, Holland. Oh, my God. And I was moving along through the grass, okay, and all of a sudden I guess I hit a fat fuck kid.
Starting point is 00:20:49 You know, one of these fat fucks that they sit at home and they watch fucking Star Trek and they stuff chees and fucking hot dogs and fucking caramel corn in the fucking fat cheeks like a fat fucking chipmunks sticking peanuts in his mouth, you know what I'm saying, Holland.
Starting point is 00:21:07 And I guess this fat pudgy little fuck got stuck underneath my car and he was grinding and rolling in the grass and I was having trouble moving and so I'm screaming and, you know, I don't know what to do. What does an old lady do when she hits a fat little boy
Starting point is 00:21:24 who likes to eat fucking fucking Pringles all night long and watch, you know, fucking Baywatch or whatever he does. And I'm sorry for swearing, Holland. I know I shouldn't, but Aunt Ruthie's so upset. So upset. I had to floor my car, okay, with my little vainy orthopedic foot, with my little orthopedic shoes, I had to put the pedal to the metal, Holland. And I had to drive straight up the hill on that grass.
Starting point is 00:21:53 and I had to hit I had to hit a fire hydrant to knock that fat, but pudgy fuck I'm sorry I had to hit a fucking fire hydrant to get rid of that fat pudge from underneath my undercarriage
Starting point is 00:22:08 and so everyone's yelling at me and screaming and you know all of a sudden my car starts sliding backwards down the hill and give sure as shit I go right up the slide and of course there's some little bastard kids screaming and yelling coming down the slide. I'm going backwards up the slide in my
Starting point is 00:22:29 Chevy Nova. I fucking crush those little bastards. I think they got the blood all over the back of my car. Now I'm going to have to pay for a car wash, Holland. And then lastly, Holland, and then I'll let you go. I know you've got to do your actings and your whatnots. And with me and Uncle Harry is so proud of you. Can I just take a moment to say? We are so proud of you and all the things you've done down here in the Hollywoods. We really are, Holland. Anyhow, excuse me, if you cannot honk at me, I've just driven to a park and killed a couple of dozen children. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:23:14 I even hit a dog, and I don't know where he is, but I think he's tangled up in my axle. I can smell hair burning in my axle. Holland. Anyhow, Love, Little Angel, last thing, and then I'm on my way. I hit a kid on a swing set, and I'll be damned. I guess I was going a little too fast, but that's what happens when you eat
Starting point is 00:23:35 mint chocolate chip ice cream and text where you're driving, Angel. And I hit this fucking kid on a swing, and I'll be damned if he'd swing right up, go right upside down, and do a full circle, and come back down and hit the back
Starting point is 00:23:51 door, hit the trunk of my car, that little bastard. So now I got two dents. I got the dent in the grill where I first hit the little bastard. And then he swung up around. As I kept driving, he came right back down and smashed his fucking legs and face into my back trunk. And now I got dents on both ends from that little fucking crick.
Starting point is 00:24:13 And I shouldn't be swearing, but he ran through his man. Hang on a second. Stop honking at me. Go suck a Reese Witherspoon submarine sandwicher. dirty fucking criminal. Unbelievable. I'm 85 driving through a park, and people are honking at me all.
Starting point is 00:24:31 And anyways, I better go. My ice cream's melting, Angel. Oh, my God, I just got... One of the chips got stuck in my larynx. You know, in the mint chocolate chip, they got the chips. It just got stuck in your Aunt Ruthie's larynx. Anyways, I'm going to try and text you some pictures
Starting point is 00:24:48 once I get on the highway. Okay, Angel, but I just wanted to share with you. and check in and make sure you're okay and Ruthie loves you okay goodbye angel
Starting point is 00:24:59 bye little angel Aunt Ruthie loves you stop honking at me I'm blowing kisses to my whatever he is my nephew and my grandson I forget I'm 85
Starting point is 00:25:13 Sucker Nelly Frittato Club sandwich son of it by Angel and Ruthie loved you by Angel This is Eddie
Starting point is 00:25:26 He wants to party But they just hang up Hey, Carl Yacht Club, this is Hank Oh, hey man, how's it going? I'm bad Awesome, uh, it's Eddie Eddie Yeah, it's gonna see if you wanted to grab a barbecue today or something
Starting point is 00:25:47 Who is this? Uh, Eddie? I don't know any Eddie. I'm sorry. Could I see if maybe we could throw some ribs around and crack a barbecue open today, nice and sunny out and have a few hyniquins and stuff? I don't think you were trying to reach us. This is a city facility. Oh, well, you got time for a barbecue? What the hell? What the hell? That was Eddie.
Starting point is 00:26:24 He wants to party. But they just hang up. Oh, poor Eddie. Anyways, I wanted to let you in on a little experiment. You never know where your material's going to come from when you're doing stand-up comedy. And a while back I did a, I did another podcast. I did Pete Holmes podcast. We were talking about UFOs and aliens.
Starting point is 00:26:48 And when I went back and listened to myself on his show, I caught this little segment where I kind of just improvised, made up on the spot, this riff about aliens and crop circles and all this stuff. And I thought, you know what, that was kind of funny. I liked that. So I thought I'd go on stage and kind of work it, work it into a bit and see if there was something there. So here's me jumping on stage at the Hollywood Improv in Hollywood, California, just loosey goosey, get up on stage and never really.
Starting point is 00:27:23 done this bit in front of a crowd before. I think I might have maybe once or twice, but this might even be the first time I've done it. I can't remember, but it's at its very, very early stages. And I'm just trying to see if there's pieces that work. And I'm trying to see if there's a premise here, if it builds, if it's funny. And it's clearly not a finished sculpture.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Let's put it that way. but it's the makings of something that I think could be a lot of fun. And so I wanted to let you guys in on the process of how we kind of start with kind of a pile of clay. And hopefully somewhere down the road, I can play this clip for you again. And it's nice and shaped and beautiful. So here's me, Hollywood Improv, talking about aliens. Let me ask you this. Let's get into the meat of my app here, gang.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Who are I? Wait, sir, no talking about your show, please? Who here's afraid of UFOs? Does anyone here seeing a UFO at all? Where did you see it, kid? South Carolina. South Carolina. Now, give us, this is fascinating stuff.
Starting point is 00:28:36 I didn't think I'd get a ping here tonight, gang. But I just got a major ping. Break it down for us. It's South Carolina. You're out on the lake and your fishing boat with your buddy Charles. And you take it from there, guy. Yeah, and then the aliens came. The aliens came.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Sure just wasn't another boat, sir? Like a light from above. A light from above. Was it possible that maybe you farted? Maybe you could just start laughing with the others. Sour-puss-Magnolica you over here. Let's crack the gobble and smile, their riddler. Here's the thing, gang.
Starting point is 00:29:43 They say the aliens are these super-intelligent beings out from another galaxy, right? And yet, what do they do? come down to planet Earth. And what do they do? They make crop circles. Okay? You think the most intelligent beings in the universe are going to come all the way across the galaxy
Starting point is 00:30:03 to planet Earth to do donuts? And I ain't scared at no aliens, gang. Have you seen these fucking characters with their long fucking Arsenio Hallfingers on? You've seen these long fucking long, fucking skinny fingers on these freaks? I'll tell you, it's not scared of aliens. I'm going to be standing in the crop circle
Starting point is 00:30:27 with my shirt off and a bottle of olive oil. I'm going to be getting me a deep tissue massage from one of those skinny, fucking freaks. They're fucking foreheads. They look like an army of chardais running around. I'm a fucking chardet with their giant fucking, I don't even know what genre. of music she sings. She's in a class
Starting point is 00:30:52 in her own. It's like forehead jazz or something. But I've never wanted to head butt anything in my whole life, but fuck, if I saw one of those almond-eyed fucking Arsenio-Hull-Fingered fucking charadee four-headed freezing, fucking bomb
Starting point is 00:31:07 a regular. Welcome to Earth, griebel floor pot. I would work matter, but a waitress cut right through my material there. It's not good that ever yet, please. Excuse me, my thoraxes park. Sir, if you could stop staring.
Starting point is 00:31:29 This is Eddie. He wants to party. But they just hang up. Hi. Hi, how's it going? Who's this? Oh, this is Eddie? Eddie, who?
Starting point is 00:31:46 Eddie from the hardware store? I'm going to see if you want to maybe grab a... barbecue today or something? I think you must have the wrong number. Throw some Budweiser's back. Maybe have some hot barbecued ribs and stuff. Who are you trying to reach? Just looking for a friend to, you know, throw some ribs around, have a nice...
Starting point is 00:32:09 I think you had the wrong number. Just want someone to have a barbecue with if that's okay with you. Who is this? Uh, Eddie? Eddie, who? From down at the hardware store? I got... Hardware store.
Starting point is 00:32:25 The one downtown, I got Heinekins. I got some nice... You need to take my number off of your phone. Thank you. Goodbye. Wait, what the hell? What the hell? That was Eddie.
Starting point is 00:32:38 He wants to party. But they just hang up. Oh, yes, they hang up. And we have to, unfortunately, have to hang it up right now. We are at the end of the barbecue. or the podcast, I guess we should call it. But we will be back. Hopefully, Barbecue Eddie gets his barbecue on before the end of the summer.
Starting point is 00:33:01 God bless them. A few announcements before we split, gang. Don't forget my stand-up comedy touring begins towards the end of the summer the last week of August, August 28th through the 31st. I will be at Funny Bone in West Virginia. Virginia Beach, I should say. It is going to be a blast. And then September 11th, a brand new comedy club in Phoenix, Arizona, called the House of Comedy.
Starting point is 00:33:31 I will be doing the grand opening of that club, September 11th through the 14th. It's a beautiful new club. It's going to be amazing. Please come on out. I know I haven't been to Phoenix for a little while, so it'd be great to see you, Kat. Then September 19th and 20, I'll be at Wise Guys in Utah, Salt Lake City, Odgin, Utah. Then I'm beginning my Comzilla comedy tour of Western Canada. This time we're only doing the western part of Canada.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Hopefully the next time through we get over to Manitoba and over on East. But for now, we're starting September 23rd, and going through Victoria. Vancouver, Calgary, Regina, Moose Jaw, Port Albert, all kinds of places, Saskatoon. So if you want more information for the Comzilla Comedy Tour, destroying your city with laughter, and for all my stand-up shows, please go to Harlow Williams.com, click on the stand-up link, and you can order your tickets online. Do not wait because you will be disappointed if we sell out, which we usually do. grab on. Grab on tight, baby.
Starting point is 00:34:54 And you can see all the other tours I have coming up right up until the Christmas holidays. I may be in a city or town near you, San Jose, Tampa, Florida, Edmonton, Canada, all over the place. So check it out. While you're there, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. There's a lot of funny videos posted. There's no hook, no price, no cost. They just come right to you and I post them
Starting point is 00:35:19 and you get to have some laughs, hopefully. And check out the store while you're there, the Harlandwilliams.com merch store. We got all kinds of stuff, music, books, t-shirts, artwork, all kinds of fun stuff for you guys. Videos, movies, downloads, it's awesome. And check out ATC, all things, comedy, where you can also find my podcast under that network,
Starting point is 00:35:49 that podcast network, amongst other funny comedians, Jake Johansson, Bill Burr, people like that, hilarious guys. And it's going to be super, super cool if you can get over there. So that's it. Hope you had a good time here today, ladies and nerdle bloggins. I know I did. And if you're out there driving, be careful. watch out for Aunt Ruthie.
Starting point is 00:36:18 She is not a good driver. So buckle up, and until next time, chicken. Chalmane, baby! I can smell hair burning in my axle, Holland.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.