The Harland Highway - 603 - ROBIN WILLIAMS remembered, Michael Jackson visits, and LINT.

Episode Date: August 25, 2014

ROBIN WILLIAMS remembered and a song about comedian suicides is played. Michael Jackson invades the studio, and a Pavement Pounder. gives sound advice about lint. Green in my spleen!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, interesting show today, Lurtle Flurgens and Blenargel Dargans. Welcome to the Harland Highway. I am he, Harland Williams. So glad you could be with us. Interesting show today. We're going to be talking about lint. One of the pavement punders called in with another phone message about the lint catcher in your dryer and has some important information about lint. we've really started a firestorm with this lint thing Also we're going to be getting a call from a pop superstar legend

Which I don't know if I'm happy about I don't know roger is he calling or is he coming in I don't know we'll find out I'm sure it's going to be annoying as hell And then lastly on a more somber note We're going to be talking you know I kind of waited for the dust to settle on the Robin Williams thing Kind of let the media have their circus And then obviously he's a comedian and a guy that worked with a new Robin Williams.

I thought I dedicate the last part of the show to talking about his untimely and sad, tragic death. And I'm also going to play a song that I wrote, and it deals with the kind of more specifically the topic of comedians that are crying on the inside and take their own lives, as the word may be. So that's it. It's going to be a mixed grab bag here today.

Let's do it. Here we go. Let's have some laughs and some tears on the Harland Highway. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan, funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming. Later.

How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. You're a groovy boy.

I'd like to strap you on sometimes. The Harland Highway You're all going to experience intense mental, physical strength All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway show Don't that be doing

I'll do it, I swear to God Don't be such a fucking pussy You're never around here, ain't you? What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams Welcome to the Harland Highway Oh boy, I'm late I'm late for the show.

I'm literally running into the studio. I got a little behind. I had some trouble parking. I'm running into the studio doors. I've got my mic on. I'm coming in. There's somebody in my chair. Uh, Roger, who the hell is this?

Excuse me. Excuse me, could you turn around, please? Excuse me, could you turn around? You're in my chair. Chee-hee! Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no. Hi.

What are you doing here? Hi, it's Michael Jackson. Yeah, I know it's Michael Jackson. What the hell are you doing in my podcast chair? I just came to say hi. Came for a visit. Well, I don't have time for a visit, Jacko. It's Michael.

I know it is. Look, what are you doing here, Guy? I can't remind everybody. Remind everybody of what? That it's special. That what's special? Shee. What did, what?

I can't remind everybody that shee! Chee! It's special. Wait a minute. Are you doing the noise you make when you do your rock videos and when you're singing? It's not a noise. Well, that thing you do, the Chi-Hei thing. It's not a noise.

It's part of my singing. It's special. Okay, can you stop saying... Special? Yes. Can you stop saying special? Would that be okay? Well, that would be special if I could.

Okay, you know what? You're already annoying me, Guy. And what is this thing you're talking about? Shee! What about... I can't even believe I'm about to enter into a... conversation about chee-hee.

Yeah, about Chi-hee. Chee-hee. Chee-hee. Okay. Can you not, please, do that? But it's special.

Oh, I know it's special. You've made it very clear that it's special. What, Fred, you think it's special. The way I think it's special. God. Roger, why did you let this

guy in here so I could talk about Shihi Stop doing it What about Shee Yes God I can't

Wow I can understand why you're saying wow Because it's special What about Cheehy Do we need Why are you here? talking about it.

I just want to remind people that it's still around. What do you mean it's still around? Shee! Still here, even though I'm God. Oh, God. Okay, so you're dead? That's right. I've gotten to the special place in the sky.

Okay, so you... But you want people to know that she-he is still... pertinent that it still exists, it's still around? Yes, thank you. Well, don't thank me. I'm not condoning it. You're the one here pushing it. Shee!

She! Okay, can you not do that one more time, please? It is special. Yes, it's very special, Michael. Thank you. I was being sarcastic. See! Stop it!

Is there anything else? Okay, you've got it out. Yes, I have a riddle. You have what? A riddle. A riddle. Yeah, lately I've been learning riddles. Lately you've been learning riddles, huh?

Yeah, it's special. All right, if I let you do your riddle, will you get out of here? Shee! What? Yes. Okay, we're all waiting. Well, that's special. It's not special.

Just do your riddle and go. Okay, Michael. Okay, thanks. Okay, do it. Okay. What do you get? If you take the first four letters of cheese

what do we get if we take the first four letters of cheese and the first three letters of the heel what do you mean the heel you know the heel on the bottom of your shoe special heels aren't special everything's special

what your riddle is what do you get if you take the first four letters of cheese, that's right. And the first three letters of heel. Yeah. I don't know. Chill?

I don't know. No. Okay, what? She. What? She? For cheese. Okay.

And he for heel. The first three letters of heel is he. And the first four letters of cheese is chi. Say again, she he gets, Chee! Chee! You know what, I want you out.

I want you out of my studio. Roger, never again, get out. That sounds special. Oh, yeah. You know what? There's a cafeteria downstairs, Michael. Okay. And guess what?

They have lunch there. Okay. And you know what else they have? What? Ah, shi-hee, sandwich? No, they have a lunch special. Lunch special. That's right, Michael.

So why don't you get up and moonwalk out the door? Okay. And go get your lunch special. That's a boy. Okay, I'll see you later. Goodbye, Michael. Shee-hee. Shee.

Shee! You're special. Shee! Slam the door! Roger! Real good way to start off the show, man. With that nut? Well, folks, I guess we're in for a hell of a show.

A hell of a show. Unbelievable. Go to the... Go to the... Our voicemail, Roger, I've got to calm down. God, it's a stain on my seat. Looks like special sauce. Hello?

Hello. Hey, Harlan. I forgot to tell you about this. I've been hearing a lot of talk about lint, and you're into lint. You like the lint trap and things you can make with lint, and all the people are calling up about linked. Now let's not forget to be safe with our link traps. You can buy a little attachment in Sears or a hardware store for cleaning your lint trap on your dryer. And it's very important. You can hook it up to your vacuum and it's a thinner hose basically. And then you

Stick it down, pull your lint trap out, stick it down there, and then you can suck out all the lint that gets through the lint trap and builds up in your dryer. Now, this is very important because there are a lot of dryer fires from people who don't clean their dryers, at least once a year. You have to get in there and you have to clean it out. All right, so you suck it out with the hose and you hook it up to your vacuum and stick it down there and suck it out pretty good, but you also have to pull out the dryer, take off the six inch hose that's on there where the hot air blows out, and then you also have to clean that out. Put the hose in air and suck that out as well because the link gets all the way back there.

and even the hose itself, and even go outside where the air comes out and clean that little contraption outside your house too. Very important stuff if we're going to be dealing with this lint and lint trap. It's all fun in games until your dryer explodes in a fireball. So that's all I'm saying. If we're going to be, you know, fooling around with our link traps and doing link projects, let's make sure we clean that dryer out. It also helps your clothes dry faster as well. So there's a little tip for today and keep up the great podcasting.

Thank you. Okay, wow. Thank you. I mean, but that was a lot of information there. So let me just Let me just capsulate that We're doing what now? We're going to be, you know,

fooling around with our lint traps And doing link projects Okay, okay, I got it So we need to clean our lint traps Because It's all fun in games Until your dryer Explodes in a fireball

Okay, right So we got to do this Because we definitely don't want Dyer fires. No, we don't want drier fires. Okay, let's do this. Step one, we... Pull your lintrap out.

Okay, pulling it out, and next... Suck it out pretty good. Okay, and then... Stick it down there. Stick it down where? Where the hot air blows out. And then... Take off the six-inch hose that's on there.

Okay. And you can suck out all the... Wait, I'm sucking the hot. hose out? You have to get in there and you have to clean it out. Wait, so I'm sucking the hose now? The hose in there and suck that out. Okay, slow down, you're confusing me. So I got the

hose in my mouth and I'm... Suck it out pretty good. With my mouth. And I know, suck it out. And I know, suck it out. But how much do I suck it out? Do I suck it out good or do I... Suck it out pretty good? And we're still talking about the lintrape here, right? Six inch, um, hose. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm

doing what to the six-inch hose? Suck it out pretty good. Okay, if I suck this six-inch hose too deep, it's going to make me gag, and I'm going to puke all inside my washing machine. And then you also have to clean that out. Okay, you know, this is too much cleaning for me. It's too much.

I'm confused. I'd rather just have the giant lint fire in my house. It's all fun and games until your dryer explodes in a fireball. All right, I'll do it. Just give me one more good reason why I should do all this crap. It also helps your clothes dry pester as well. Okay, you got me. God.

All right, well, I'm going to clean out my dryer here, gang. Let's go to a commercial while I clean my dryer, so I don't have a dryer fire. And we'll be back right after this. God. Why do I feel dirty? Wow, what's that after shave you're wearing? You high karate after shave is so powerful.

It drives women right out of their minds. That's why we have to put instructions on self-defense in every package. High karate, the brisk splash on after shave that smooths and soothes and cools. High karate, after shave, cologne, and gift sets. Hi, karate. Be careful how you use it. Yeah, be careful. Well, we're switching gears here now.

And I want to talk about a subject that I think made all of us extremely, extremely sad and had us pondering the meaning of life and had us pondering, you know, the whole essence of being a human being and had us asking what's it all about and what's it all mean and why are we alive and why do we die? and, you know, I think the death, the suicide of Robin Williams brought up a lot of questions and created a lot of confusion in many of our minds because it just seems so counterintuitive for someone like Robin Williams

who brought so much joy and happiness and silliness and laughter to the world that he could turn around and end his own life and commit suicide and basically be so full of hurt and pain and depression on the inside that he chose you know not to live anymore and and uh i think um you know i've been in hollywood here working and living in hollywood for over 20 years now and i think the only other time I really felt this type of kind of hole in the community, not only the Hollywood community, but the community, the global community, where I think everyone just took a deep breath

and was deeply saddened was when a comedian actor John Candy died from Uncle Buck and plane trains at automobiles and Second City, an incredibly lovable, wonderful, funny, likable guy. And I remember the feeling around Hollywood where everyone was just down for about a week. It was palatable in the air when he died. And for some reason when other actors die or singers or musicians or whatever, there's always that sense of loss, that sense of grieving. But I feel like when comedians die, it somehow runs a little deeper. because comedians and comedic actors bring something that we all need in our lives so much,

which is joy and happiness and silliness. And sometimes that's our go-to feeling when we need a little pick-me-up or we need to be reminded that we shouldn't take life too seriously and that it's important to laugh. And so it was just such a crusher when Robin Williams was announced dead and it just kind of came out of nowhere. And I think what really hurts everyone

is that we all know that Robin was in his early 60s and probably still had many, many great roles and performances and jokes inside of him ready to come out and tell. And I know he was in line to do a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire, which I'm sure would have been incredible. I know he was in line to do other projects. And, you know, it's just really odd when we see someone at the top of their field, at the top of their game.

I mean, not only is he at the top of the stand-up comedy ladder, but here's a guy that made the transition to the top of the acting ladder and won an Oscar for his acting ability. And so, regardless of the fame and the riches and the accolades, there was something internally in Robin that was a fire that just couldn't be put out. And, you know, my condolences to... To any family members or friends that were very close to Robin and to Robin Williams, rest in peace, man.

It's just such a sad, sad thing. And I think we'll all miss you. And we're all, we've all been touched by your humor and we're all probably better inside to a degree because you made us all laugh. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No?

Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. All will be packaged and sent discreetly. for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away.

That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount

and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. And, boy, that's a tough one. On a personal note, because I'm a stand-up comedian and an actor, I got to actually have the privilege of doing a movie with Robin Williams. I did one movie with Robin. It was an animated feature, a CGI movie called Robots.

It was put out by 20th Century Fox. Robin Williams was in it. Greg Keeneer, Ewan McGregor, Amanda Binds, Drew Carey, all kinds of wonderful people. Mel Brooks was in it another comedy legend. And so I got to do a movie with Robin where it was just voice work, obviously, because it was a CGI computer-animated movie, but we all played robots, and I played a great big green hulking robot named Lug.

I did the voice for that robot. And Robin did the voice for a robot called Fender. And I remember that they brought Robin in, and he was so funny in the room. He was so funny in the studio that they amped his roll-up. initially he was just supposed to be kind of a second fiddle to Ewan McGregor's character in the movie, the lead character, and Robin was so outstanding and so off the cuff and so funny

and so spontaneous that, you know, the movie really became his movie. Even though Ewan McGregor is the lead character, if you watch the movie, you'll see that Robin just dominates it. He just took it over. and uh you know i think the movie was a little slow moving at times and it needed robin's energy and i think the filmmakers understood that and i think they're trying to kind of capture lightning in a bottle after robin had done such an amazing job with uh disney's aladdin and just blew that character up with his boundless energy and uh so um i had the great pleasure of working with robin in that movie and

And then because of that, I got to hang out with them a bit. And then also because of our shared roles in the stand-up comedy world, I also got to hang out with Robin Williams at some of the comedy clubs. And just a real, genuine, sweet guy. He was like a Jekyll and Hyde character. When Robin was on stage, when Robin was in stand-up comedy mode, you've seen him, you've seen him on the talk shows on stage, He's like a mile a minute.

Oh, no, no, no, no. He just, he can't be stopped. He's like a tornado. He's like the Tasmanian devil. But when you had Robin alone and you're just sitting with him and talking to him, which I was able to do on several occasions, he was almost like a curled up little, almost like a fetus. He was very, very internal.

And he had this kind of, had this permanent kind of little grin on. his face and this kind of little boy twinkle in his eye and uh he was very he was very right down here and oh yes i i think that's a good idea he's uh oh that's that's very funny he has said but just came off as really gentle and soft spoken and the complete opposite of the tasmanian devil he just became like this little little angel this really warm kind of uh charismatic guy and uh And so, you know, on all levels, in real life and when he was putting on the show, he was an extremely likable, engaging human being. And he'll be missed.

And R.I.P. to Robin Williams. And now I want to switch gears a little bit more and talk about, you know, the topic of depression as it relates to stand-up comedy, which is a weird phenomenon. And I want to share with you a song that I did. I think I played it on the podcast many years ago. It might have been the first year I did this, but I think now it's even more appropriate. And when I was starting up in the stand-up comedy scene,

there were some younger guys that came up under me. One was a kid that never really got off amateur night, and there was another kid who ended up making it as kind of a middle act. so he kind of opened up for the headliners. And the guy on Amateur Night was a real sweet-spirited guy named Brett Weir, and the middle act was a guy named Mickey Rush, and these were Canadian comedians. And Brett Weir in particular was a real kind-hearted, sweet soul.

And, you know, he was a guy who really wanted to make people laugh, and it seemed like he uh you know it seemed like maybe some of the people in the stand-up comedy community didn't take them as seriously and and uh you know he uh i guess he got depressed and he ended up taking his own life and and uh the other gentleman uh mickey rush he ended up for whatever reason taking his own life and and this was when i was about you know four or five years into doing stand-up comedy and it really shocked me. It really

stayed with me. You know, as I said earlier in the show, the juxtaposition between someone whose whole career is based on making people laugh, but so pained inside that they killed themselves.

And I think these guys' suicides always haunted me because I couldn't ever really get my head around how it could be this way, how, you know, a clown, someone who's making everyone else laugh, is dying inside. And I thought it was a really strange and eerie contradiction in the human spirit and the human soul. And so it inspired me to write this dark song about comedians taking their own lives.

And since those two gentlemen did it over the years, I know that there's other people I know, a gentleman that I became friends with here in Hollywood, Richard Jenny, who was an incredible stand-up comedian, the quintessential stand-up comedian. This guy did an HBO special every year, and, you know, he was at the top of the stand-up comedy chain,

and for whatever reasons that I won't go into, who he took his own life. He took a gun and shot himself right in the head, in the face. And I know it's morbid to talk about it, but it happened. And there's other people I know. And so it made me, it really, it's a weird and sad phenomenon. We all get depressed, but I guess it seems just stranger when a clown gets depressed, when a funny person gets depressed.

and when they go all the way to the end and take their own life. And so I wrote this song called The Clown, which was kind of in a way a tribute and also maybe a bit of a eulogy and also a bit of a remembrance and also just a sad commentary on when funny people can't take being funny anymore and can't take anything at all and take their own lives.

So once again I thought it would be appropriate in light of what Robin Williams did, how he tragically passed away, that this dark, somber song be played, and I don't know if it helps clear anything up or if it's just something that needs to be heard. And it's, as I said, it's basically, something that came out of me as kind of a way to deal with it, I think.

And have these poor souls remembered, is what I really think it was. And unfortunately, it's such a dark topic. The song is dark and the lyrics are dark. So without further ado, I'll end the show on this somber song. It's called The Clown. And rest in peace, all you clowns that could no longer see the light and rest in peace to our funny, funny friend, Robin Williams. so many times before

his heart it pounds like a drumbeat but he always comes back for more and the crowd they all came to chuckle he makes them laugh until they cry

But for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. And tonight, somebody's going to die. Because he's a cloud, he's crying on the inside. He's a cloud, he's lonely and afraid. He's a cloud. He's crying on the inside He's a clown with one foot in the brain They all stood

And they cheered as he ended His fake smile Masking his fake fame He takes a bow And he makes a big exit Unaware, they'll never see him again Back at home The bullets sit waiting

The empty chamber It calls out his name Pull the trigger A flash and explosion and the cloud is ending his pain He's a cloud, he's crying on the inside. He's a clown, he's lonely and afraid He's a clown, he's crying,

He's a clown, he's a clown, he's a clown, he's a clown. And you'll never laugh at him. again oh man there it is the clown crying on the inside I want to give thanks to that song

which I wrote the lyrics for and kind of came up with the harmonies and everything I got to give props to my and Kevin Hearn, who did all the, put all the music together, played the guitar in that in that song. Also, I got to thank the bare naked ladies who did backup in that song for me. Stephen Page did backup vocals. Tyler on drums, incredible drums, Jim Cregan, playing the stand-up bass. The only member of the band we couldn't get in there was Ed, unfortunately. but that's the rest of the instruments and backup sounds all from the bare naked ladies

and my cousin Kevin Hearn, who's also a member of that band as well. So hope you enjoyed that. I know it's a little dark, kind of a deep way to end the show, but I thought it was important and something, you know, to keep in your head. So let's stop it there and we'll move on to some happier things. We'll keep the comedy machine rolling. We won't let the comedy ever die. And we let these other comedians who passed on their spirits certainly live through the rest of us comedians

who keep stepping out through the curtain and bringing the laughter. And so I would encourage you to go to my website, check out Harlow Williams.com, and find out if I'm coming to a city or town near you. A lot of stand-up comedy dates planned for the fall here, starting with the Virginia Beach Funny Bone, Virginia Beach Funny Bone, this coming weekend, which will be August the 28th, Thursday through August. Sunday the 31st, great way to kind of wrap up your summer with some hilarity, some laughter. And then following that, you'll be able to catch me in early September, September 11th through the 14th. I'll be at a brand-new comedy club in Phoenix, Arizona, called House of Comedy. I'm doing the kicking off the grand opening weekend.

It's going to be amazing. Please get your tickets. All tickets available at my website on the stand-up comedy tour link at Harlow Williams.com. I'm going to be at Wise Guys in Utah, September 19th and 20th. And then Western Canada, look out the Comzilla Comedy Tour comes to your town or city, kicking off September 23rd, right through ending up in Calgary, Calgary, Alberta on September, October 4th, I should say. So please go to my website and look for the dates.

We're going to be in Prince Albert. We're going to be in Regina. We're going to be in Saskatoon. We're going to be in Calgary. We're going to be in Vancouver. We're going to be in Victoria. All these great places, Nanaimo. Oh, just all kinds of good stuff.

But don't miss out. Get your tickets now before they sell out. Also, while you're on my website, please check out the store for merchandise, and please subscribe to my YouTube channel. There's a little button right there, the YouTube channel subscription button, and you will get, you'll be the first to see the wacky videos that I put up. There's no hook, there's no catch, it's just more free stuff, just like this podcast. And I just do them to try and put a smile on people's faces.

So I hope you enjoy it. Also, if you want to write me a letter, you can write me at Harlowelliams.com, or if you want to leave a phone message, oh, my goodness, a phone message. Good Lord. The phone number is there at harlomwilms.com, but in case you can't read websites

or you don't want to go to the website, 323-739-4-330. 323-739-4-330 is the number. want to leave any comments. Maybe you want to leave a comment about Robin Williams or about the song we just did. Who knows? You don't have to talk to anyone. It's just a voicemail so you can say whatever you want. If I like it, I put it on. So that's it, guys. A great show today. I think we covered a lot of ground. Michael Jackson, Robin Williams, you know, Lint. What more could you want from a podcast really um hey keep on smiling and maybe we'll talk about the topic of depression

on a broader scale just depression in general on another show because i feel like it's you know if nothing else robin williams may have ignited a an area of important discussion because every one of us as human beings have have fallen into the depression pit before and uh it might be worthwhile to have a chat about that and throw some ideas and thoughts around and a future podcast. But for now, let's always think about the future, think about the bright things that lie ahead, even if today may be dark, the clouds will clear. There's always something sunny and bright just around the corner. So always hang on to hope, always look for the The silver lining and the brightness, even in the darkest moments.

And I certainly hope this podcast helps put a smile on your face. You guys being here put a smile on my face. So thanks a lot. Tell your friends. And that's it. Until next time, chicken chalemain, baby. That's exactly what they had for the lunch special downstairs. Chicken chalemone, so special.

Thank you.