The Harland Highway - 607 - DISCO FEVER - Harland's Hemmingway adventure!

Episode Date: September 15, 2014

Harland has an Ernest Hemmingway of an adventure. Funny DISCO stuff, and calls from the Pavement Pounders. Brass Ass Glass!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, hello everybody. Welcome to the Harland Highway. It's going to be delicious and tasty. Oh, my mouth is watering. Easy. Easy. Hey, welcome to the show. I'm Harlan Williams.

You are rolling down the Harlan Highway. Cool show today, man. We are going to be taking some calls from some of you pavement pounders about the very first time you opened something out of the box and broke it almost immediately. I had asked you guys to call in with some of these stories. We got a few of those for you. Funny stuff.

Also, I'm going to be talking about the disco era. Some nutty stuff from the 70s. Do you remember disco? Oh, yeah. We're going to be getting into some disco lyrics that should put a smile on your face and make you feel good, man, because that's what disco was all about.

And then lastly, an amazing story of an adventure I went on, a crazy adventure that was full of adrenaline and excitement and kind of a once-in-a-lifetime, wacky adventure that I will give to you in detail. It's a bit long, but hopefully you'll enjoy it. I had a lot of fun living this moment, and I'm going to share it with you.

So I hope you dig it. Let's go. Put your helmet on, get your face brace ready. This is, ladies and gentlemen, The Harland Highway You're listening to Harlan Williams Harlan, funny stuff, bro, funny stuff. Keep it coming, later.

How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harlan Highway. You're a groovy boy.

I'd like to strap you on sometime. The Harland Highway You're all going to experience intense, mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't that be doing. I'll do it. I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy. You're new around here, ain't you? What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams.

Welcome to the Harlan Highway. Oh, yeah. Oh, let's get back into the 70s, man. Oh, yeah, you get your elevated shoes on, your white bell bottoms, your Afro. Oh, yeah, your shirt done open all the way to your belly button. Yeah, good time, baby. Good time. Woo!

Yeah, we're with the roller disco, baby. Oh, yeah. We get that disco beat on. These are the good times. Yeah, we have some good times. Oh, yeah, what the hell? Yeah, oh, oh, yeah. We are having some good times, man.

I had to play that song to open the show because, I mean, not only is that just a fun song that fills you up with feeling good, you know, basic simple lyrics, which was kind of the. downfall of disco but at the same time disco was just so simple and mindless that it was it was actually beautiful but you know people just thought it was shallow and empty and so people became mad at it and they were like disco sucks and they were smashing disco albums and burning them and if you like disco you're a loser but if you look back on the disco era man it was just

It was just pure fun and dancing, and you didn't have to think a lot. It wasn't like listening to Pink Floyd or, you know, Soundgarden or, you know, Neil Young. There was no deep lyrics. It was just like kind of feel good stuff. And as a result, there's some kooky lyrics that came out. And that's one of the reasons why I'm playing this. I caught this song on the radio the other day. and I want you to listen to this next verse

because it's got a set of lyrics in here, the likes of which I realized I haven't really heard and they're just, they're insane. But yet they're so innocent and fun. So take a listen. This is the disco band, Sheik, and not chic as an oil sheik, but chic as a chick.

That is so chic, man. um c h i see so chic i mean this this whole segment is so chic thank you you're welcome um can you get back to it please yeah sorry um so listen to these lyrics and uh they just made me laugh and then i'll talk about them after you hear them check it out Did you hear it? Don't be a drag, participate, clams on the half shell and roller skate, roller skate.

Clams on the half shell and roller skate and roller skate. Oh, my God. Oh, come up the happy shell and roller skates, roller skates, roller skates. Oh, come on. We all got to sing that one together. Are you ready? We're going to start with Don't Be a Drag, Participate, Clams on the Halfshells, and Roller Skates, Roller Skates. I'm going to do a countdown, and I don't care where you are.

You know the lyrics now. I don't care if you're in your cubicle in your car. We're all going to sing this one out loud. I promise it'll put a smile on your face. You will feel good. Are you ready? We're doing it. Three, two, one

Okay, that was good, I don't know if you're listening I don't think you're getting the message, don't be a drag, participate. And I don't think all of you participate. And I don't think all of you participated. So we're going to try it again And I don't care if you're embarrassed I don't care if you're in a mall

I don't care where you are On 3, 2, 1 You are going to sing this out loud Or shame on you for all eternity Here we go Don't be a drag, participate Clams on the half shell And roller skates and roller skates

Here we go everybody Three, two, one Don't be a drag Participate Okay, almost everyone that time with you, I'm going to do one more. I'm going to join in with you just so you don't feel alone out there. I promise you just sing it out loud. You'll feel great.

You'll feel good. Let's go. Here we go. One last time, I'm going to be singing with you. Three, two, one. B and J, participate. Cleaned on the hatchet and roller skates and roller skates. We have got good time.

See, didn't that feel good? Oh, my God. So there we go. kicking off the show, just had to share with you. I don't think in the history of songwriting, there's ever been lyrics quite as incredible as those. So I hope that put a smile on your face to kick off the show. Uh, and, oh, you just love it.

All right, I got that out of my system. Let's, uh, keep roller skating along right down the Harland Highway here. One cheeseburger with everything coming up. It was getting into the afternoon and the boat still moves slowly and steadily. But there was an added drag now from the east. easterly breeze, and the old man rode gently, with the small sea and the hurt of the cord across his back, came to him easily and smoothly. Once in the afternoon, the line started to rise again, but the fish only continued to swim at a slightly higher level. The sun was on the old man's left

arm and shoulder and on his back, so he knew the fish had turned east of north. Now that he had seen him Once, he could picture the fish swimming in the water, where there's purple pectoral fins set wide as wings and the great erect tail slicing through the dark. I wonder how much he sees at the depth, the old man thought. His eye is huge, and a horse with much less eye can see in the dark. Once I could see quite well in the dark, not in the absolute dark, but almost as a cat sees.

The sun and his steady movement of his fingers had uncramped his left hand now completely. And he began to shift more of the strain to it, and he shrugged the muscles of his back to shift the hurt of the cord a little. If you're not tired, fish, he said aloud, you must be very strange. And there it is.

There it is. An excerpt from Ernest Heaven Endingways, famous story, The Old Man in the Sea. This is the story of an old fisherman who goes fishing every day, trying to catch a giant marlin. And for those of you that don't know what a marlin in, it's like a swordfish. It's one of those fishes you always see mounted on the wall

with the big fin and the giant nose that looks like a sword. And they're just impressive, massive game fish. And Ernest Hemingway wrote in detail about this old man in a small little fishing boat, who didn't even have a fishing rod. He just had fishing lines spooled on pieces of wood. And the old man in the sea hooks into a 1,200-pound marlin that just pulls the old man's boat for days, and it becomes this epic battle out at sea between this old man.

and the fish that he's always wanted to catch, the marlin. And you're like, great, Harlan, why did you read us that? And I'm going to tell you, because although I don't want to refer to myself as an old man, this guy, Harlan Williams, had his own old man in the sea moment. That's right. Guess who hooked into a great big giant Marlin? Let me tell you about it. I'm in Cabo.

I go down to Mexico and I'm right at the very tip of Cabo there, the Baja Peninsula, which is in Mexico, that little dingle-nut that hangs down just under California and goes halfway down the coast of California. And right at the very tip is Cabo San Lucas. Give me another bottle of Cabo San Lucas, man. So I went down with like 16 friends of mine. We just decided to go on an end of service. summer blowout and 16 of us got on a plane together and we went down to an all-inclusive resort

and we were right on the beach and all the food you can eat and all the booge you can drink and swimming pools and boy oh boy did we have a good old time we had a good old time everyone just had a blast a bunch of friends laughing and joking and drinking and having fun But as you guys know from listening to the podcast, I am a fisherman. I love to go fishing. I love to catch me some fishes. Oh, yeah, I'm going to catch me some fishes. So I decided to book myself a boat, a 28-foot boat.

And the day before we left, I decided I would go out and go marlin fishing. So we were leaving on a Monday And I decided to go out Sunday morning Of course, Saturday it was the big night Where all 16 of us went downtown And we went to the disco No, hold that I'm not in that story

Let's get back to the old man in the C store We go down to the disco And I told everyone I said, guys, I'm out of here by midnight I got to be up at 6 a.m. I'm going to be up at 6 a.m. I'm going fish and everyone's like wait what you're going fish what are you doing why would you do that we're here we're doing the thing and where where are you going and i'm like i'm going so everyone kind of knew i was gone and uh they knew i was kind of going out for a big fish and so at uh like quarter to 12 i vanish

i get in a cab i go back to the hotel and uh i crash okay i wake up at like six in the morning It's been sunny every day, a beautiful, clear sky. I wake up on my fishing morning. The wind's howling. The palm trees are blowing. Rain is pounding against the window. I'm like, oh, drats. My fishing trip, man.

Don't be a drag. This is on the half shell, participate. So I was, like, bummed. I said, well, you know what, I'll get dressed. I've paid for the trip. I've booked it. hours out on the ocean fishing for marlin i've never done it before um these fish get huge they're trophy fish i'm here i'm gonna go check it out so i wandered down to the front of the hotel i can look

out over the ocean i'm out on the balcony and i see that the skies kind of opened up you know a couple of miles out there's a little patch and i'm like oh there we go see that's that's that's the patch i needed, all this cloud's going to burn off at 6 in the morning. That's the way it works in the tropics, blah, blah, blah. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping. as your privacy is a priority.

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Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So I get in the cab and I motor down to the marina and the guys are there and then are like, is it okay to go out?

They're like, yeah, yeah, let's go out. So we get on. It's just me and the captain of the boat and his son. It's the three of us. Okay? So we bait up. We load up. We get the fishing rods rigged and we get our fishing license and off we go.

We're heading out of the harbor The water's You know a little choppy but nothing crazy And the sky overhead is gray It didn't that little opening I saw It was kind of filled in And I took some drammamine Before I got on the boat

Because I've done a lot of fishing I've never been seasick but I've come close And I've been in some high seasies I've been in the swells man And when the sea gets high and starts rolling that where I come from they call that it's lumpy that's the term that he goes oh oh it's lumpy out there today i'll tell you by i wouldn't be going out there today by it's lumpy that's right be careful it's real lumpy out there so we get out kind of uh beyond the safety

of the channel we're going along the coast and then we kind of you know um the cavos san lucas is the very tip so we once you pass land, it's open sea until you go around the globe and hit the polar ice caps or something like that. That's the end of it. So we scoot out past the big jagged rock sticking out. The waves are pounding against the rocks. They're spraying up into the sea like landmines have gone off, explosions of white foam.

And now we're out in the open sea, and it's rolling. It's getting lumpy. by we're rolling we're rolling high but i'm like you know what i'm out here let's do it so we start trucking along we're out we're way out there we start kind of going along the coastline i can see it in the distance the coastline's on the horizon i'm just sitting there rolling up and down rolling up and down staring at the shoreline so i don't get seasick that's how they say you you kind of avoid see you focus on something stable and it keeps your equilibrium in check and i had the drama bean gone so it's like okay okay i can do this i can do this but these are high seas i'm in and the

captain's like kind of bouncing around he's like you know this guy's like a cat when you drop a cat out of a tree and he lands on all four this guy's bouncing all over the place but he's holding his balance and he he puts like four or five fishing lines in the water he's got some from up above where the steering column is he's got some trailing off the back he's got a few sticking out the side so we get like five lines trolling in the water at various lengths various depths and i'm just sitting there you know me and the captain are sitting there watching and waiting and uh it isn't long after about 35 minutes boom i get a hit i'm like i realize it's not a big fish but it's a fish and so they have those chairs you've seen those chairs at the back of the big marlin boat you sit in a chair it's like it's like they had jaws remember jaws and in between your legs there's a cup a metal cup and the the shaft of the fishing rod goes right between your legs it's very phallic it's very very phallic this big fishing pole between your legs and the cup and you've got both your hounds wrapped around it oh oh oh anyways um so now i'm sitting in the chair and i'm reeling up this fish and it's fighting and it's playing and it's doing all the things that fish should do and we're not sure what it is we get it up to

the side of the boat it's about a nine nine ten pound tuna boom i got my first fish i'm hopeful i'm feeling good it's a good good place to start something kind of medium to small so we keep going we keep chugging along down the coast and the skies are getting a little darker and the wind's starting to get a little heavier and I'm noticing that the waves are getting a little higher and so is the captain and his son and maneuvering the boat's getting a little more difficult and but we keep going and at one point I'm just sitting there looking at the horizon line a fish jumps out and it's a flying fish I don't know if you've ever seen a flying fish but they jump out of the water and it's kind of throws your mind off because it's a fish but its fins look like wings it has two fins it's two pectoral fins or no dorsal fins the ones that come out the side what am i what am i from finland it's the pectoral fins i believe they come out the side but they're so big they look like bird wings and these fish they jump out of the water they come up about two feet over the surf and they literally

fly for about the length of a football field and then you know kind of nosedive back into the water it was incredible to see so we're motoring along and and the seas start getting really high and i start to hear the radio crack one you know this boat's got a right it's like you know it's all in uh it's all in spanish i don't recognize it but it sounds like people are a little concerned and blah blah blah blah so uh you know we keep going we keep going and then we start to do our turn back you know so we can we can sweep the coastline going the other way and it turns out going the other way we're going against the waves i thought the way we were going was tough but the waves were behind us okay now the waves are going against us and we're rolling and these waves are going up

These rolls are gone up 10, 20 feet. I mean, I'm talking really big rolls. So unbeknownst to me, it turns out, Lurtles and Flirtle Blurgens, that a hurricane, a full-blown Category 5 hurricane, is churning about 400 miles out to sea right south of where we are fishing, right off the tip of the Baja.

So it's a Category 5. winds at 160-something miles an hour. And what we're getting with all these clouds up above is the outer residual effects of the hurricane, which in itself isn't so bad. It wasn't killer windy out there. But what we were getting was the effects of the hurricane from the sea. And so all the big wave action at the center of the hurricane

was now being pushed outwards and deflected towards. towards distant shores. And now we were right in the line of fire of these big waves. So the swells, it just keeps getting lumpier, ladies and gentlemen. It keeps getting lumpier. The waves start getting bigger, and we're rolling around. And sure enough, I was supposed to be out there eight hours

at about the hour 45, two-hour mark. The captain comes down from steering the boat. Hands the wheel to his son who's like doing an expert job. and rolling through these waves. I'm not really freaked out because I've been in high seas before. I don't even have a life jacket on. Thinking back, I'm like, man, if I went over, that probably would have been the end of this old man in the sea.

But I just wasn't phased. I'm used to being on the water. I wasn't scared. But when I look back, I go, I probably should have been scared. Those are the roughest seas I've ever been in. And we were only in a 28-foot boat. so he comes down the ladder and he goes on saying yor uh listen um you know you you paid for the boat for eight hours so it's your call but this is crazy i mean we we're not do we don't like this

we're not too good in this type of weather the waves they are homa msanda maria and uh and i didn't i didn't have to think twice i was like my god i was thinking the same thing maybe we should be going in this is this is starting to feel a bit dangerous it's starting to feel a bit dangerous it's starting to feel a bit crazy and i was starting to feel just a little bit uneasy in my stomach i wasn't there where i was going to be seasick but i was like yeah this is this doesn't uh feel entirely safe anymore and so i looked at the captain as we were both kind of it was almost like we were dancing because we're both uneven on our feet we're both kind of keeping our balance as the boat's rolling so we're it's almost like we're in some kind of somers

the samba dance together. The only thing missing was us holding hands and sambaing around in the bottom of the boat. That's how violent the seas were. And I looked at him and without blinking, I said, yeah, let's go in. Those are my words, let's go in. And I don't think the letter N had dried on the word in when I said, let's go in.

The N was still wet when, boom. something hit the end of one of the fishing lines and when I say hit it hit and all of a sudden we forgot what we were talking about we forgot about the storm we forgot about going in we all just looks like yeah there was excitement the captain ran back he grabbed the fishing rod and he gave it a giant tug he gave it a giant pull and in the fishing world that's called setting the hook so what happens with fish is they will they will bite onto a lure or a hook and they will swim away with it or they will feel it in their mouth and sometimes they spit it out or they'll run with it and just spit it out of their mouth they haven't necessarily bitten into the hook that pierces their skin and goes through their lip or their mouth even though the hook's in their mouth and they're moving with it and you feel like you have a fish if the hook isn't set you ain't got no fish so this captain was obviously a you know a specialist this is what he did for a living and he ran back and he grabbed the rod he pulled it out of the holster and bam he yanked it back once or twice and boom and we're all sitting there going is there a fish on is there a fish on and then all of a sudden we're looking back off the back of the boat and remember the lines are way back there they're trolling so the lines are way way back there and all of a sudden from out of the

churning, boiling sea. In between the rolling waves we're in. We just see this great big Marlund come flying up into the air, turn sideways, and crash back into the frothy sea. It's kind of like when you see hide jumpers in the Olympics. They run up to that bar. They fly up in the air. They arch their back, and they sail over the bar,

and they land on the mat. That's what it looked like. It was like this giant fish. flying out of the sea, turns sideways, levels off, and crashes back into the water. And we're just, whoa, we're all like, and the captain's like, get over here, man.

You sit down, hurry up, get into it. So here I am. I'm like wobbling my way, like a drunk cowboy with the rolling boat, all the way back to this seat. I plop in the seat. The captain shums this giant pole in between my legs. and off we go man suddenly i've got a pole in my hand i'm in the middle of the effects of a hurricane the boat's rolling and i got a monster fish out there swimming for his life

and i've caught a lot of fish i've got like fish up in the 40 40 to 60 range category but this was bigger than that suddenly i was ernest hemingway's old man in the sea oh my god i knew it a marlin i knew it was a big fish because we saw it jump and so here i am and the way it works with marlin and big fish like that what you do is you lean forward with your pole and you just with all your might you pull backwards you pull picture the uh picture the guy uh on the train yard you know the guy who switches the tracks on the train yard and he's got that that big iron handle and he slowly pulls it back. You know, those old in the industrial age

and see these big muscular guys pulling the big metal pole back that made the railroad trains kind of the railroad track switch and click from side to side. It was like that, man. I'm pulling back with all my might. I'm straining.

I pull back on this giant fish and then I let go. I let go and I let go and I push the rod back down to the water, and in that moment, you reel as fast as you can. So you pull back, you're pulling the fish towards you, then you let go, you let the rod go whipping back, and in that moment you reel up and you just keep fighting for footage.

You're fighting for footage of line. Five feet, six feet, seven, you're slowly pulling this thing closer. So I had never been on the line with a fish this big. I'd never felt so much stress. and strain, reeling in a fish. And here I go. Instantly, my hands are cramping up. My arm hurts.

My back is getting into it. My heartbeat is just like, my adrenaline is rushing. I'm pouring sweat from the excitement. Immediately, it's like imagine you're just walking, and all of a sudden somebody said, fight off three football players coming at you. And that's what you're doing all of a sudden.

So now I'm in it, man. I'm bending down. I'm pulling back. I'm bending down. I'm pulling back. And after a while, I'm fighting this thing. And it's like for all the line I reel in, he just takes off with more line. He just goes.

He swims and starts stripping. All that work I did is for naught. He's like this big fish out there. And he's like, I'm not coming towards you. you you come towards me so i spent uh you know five minutes reeling in just you know eight 10 12 30 feet he decides to turn the other end go e and he takes a hundred feet i'm like exactly blah so i'm just killing myself and at one point after while i turned to the captain i said captain you got to take over man you got to take i need a i need a rest i couldn't do it man my arms were numb my back was

dying. I was sweating. I was out of breath. I mean, this is work. So the captain jumps into the chair. He goes, okay, I'm real for five minutes and then you get back. I said, yes, yes, yes. I just need to recuperate. So sure enough, he jumps in. I go sit in the thing and I'm just like breathing. I'm like, I'm watching the captain takeover where I was. He did it for about five minutes. And then I'm like, okay, let's switch. He's like, you get back in here. So now I'm back in. I'm fighting and fighting. And finally we see the pectoral fin, the dorsal fin, I should say. That's the one on the back, sticking out of the water.

He's getting closer and closer and closer. And I'm fighting the last, yeah, turning, turning. I'm all numb. I'm out of breath. I'm dying here. I'm dying here. Boom, we get him right up beside the boat. Whack.

Oh, the guy, the captain gets, gets, the gaff hook in the side of this Marlon's cheek. This thing's giant. Now we're in the rolling seas and we got this great big giant fish on the side of the boat and then his son comes running down. He actually leaves the controls of the boat. I don't know how he did it. He comes running down.

They both grab this giant fish. One of them grabs it by the point he knows. It looked like a sword. The other one's pulling in it on the gaffook and boom, the thing flops in the bottom of the boat. Oh my gosh They get a club out and whack they hit it on the head Before I could even say throw it back throw it back I kind of wanted to throw it back

But I kind of wanted to keep it Oh my gosh And and there it is We got the marlin in the boat 160 pounds The captain was freaking out He's like you know most of the time the fish we catch you They're only 100 pounds you

This is 160 pounds. And then on top of that, he goes, most people spend their whole life trying to catch a Marlon. You come out for two hours and you catch a 160 pound Marlon. He was laughing. He kind of couldn't believe it. And then when you look at the water we were fishing in, they were kind of laughing.

We were all kind of laughing. It was so crazy. And then, of course, about two minutes after we got it in, it happened. all of a sudden I just felt my stomach go around the corner. I was like, oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, boy, oh, boy, over the side, puke, sea-sick. It wasn't a lot because I didn't eat a lot that morning.

I knew that there was a chance I could be C-6, so I didn't eat very much. And I hung over the side, only for about two, three minutes maybe. Seemed like forever. I got it out. and it almost seemed fitting. I mean, I'm hanging over the side. These waves are rolling. I'm getting sprayed.

The pukes getting blown all over the side of the boat. I know. I hate to talk about it, but I thought to myself, if I ever had to be seasick, this was the time. This was high drama on the high seas. Ernest Hemingway would have been proud. We got back to the dock. We were kind of the talk of the dock.

of the dock at that moment. Everyone gathered around this big fish. They had to wheel it over to the scales, and we hung it up by a great big rope by the tail. 160 pounds, 110 inches, a striped marlin. And people were

getting in and taking pictures of it before I even could. The tourists and locals were all gathered around and people were shaking my hand. People were asking me questions, how did it happen? How did you do it? Oh, my God.

And it was great. And for a moment, I felt guilty about taking that big fish out of the sea, but then I go, you know, I fish everywhere. And, you know, most of the time I throw my fish back. I'm a catch-and-release guy. I have thrown hundreds and hundreds of fish back in the water, in the ocean, and lakes and rivers. I've thrown way more back than I've ever kept.

It's rare I keep a fish, but sometimes I keep a fish. And then I thought, oh, I've got to throw this one back because it's so big and it's 160 pounds. But then I thought, no, that's how big these fish get. That's what Marlon and sailfish do. This is how big they grow. So there's a ton of them in the sea, maybe not as many as schooling fish like cod and

mackerel and things like that, but, you know, this is the size they get. So, you know, and they also, by the way, get a lot bigger than the one I caught. I mean, I think these things get up to like eight, nine hundred pounds or more. But the area where we were, this was considered quite large. And believe me, when I hung this thing up, this fish is, you know, I'm almost six, two. This fish was way bigger than me, like twice the size of me. I think it was nine feet long or something. So not twice the size

But it was a big It's a big I think I posted a picture of it on my Twitter account If you want to go and join my Twitter account At Harlem Williams You'll probably see the picture in there somewhere I'll post it again So I felt a little guilty

But then I rationalized and I went You know what? Just because it's big doesn't mean I can't keep it So I kept it And to honor the fish I'm getting it stuffed And I'm not getting it I'm not getting it like phoning a taxidermy place and going,

oh, yeah, I got a 160-pound fish, and they pull 160-pound mold out of the wall. No, no, no. I insisted that they used the real skin, the skin of the fish that I caught. Yes, indeed. So I'm going to honor that fish. That fish would be sacred.

That'll be a once-in-a-lifetime trophy fish for me. And I gave all the meat to the villagers. and the captain and the fishermen. They all got some delicious, wonderful, healthy fish meat. And the last thing that I'll talk about, because this is a long-ass story, but I hope you're enjoying it because I enjoyed it. I got back to the resort,

and I bumped, I believe it or not, I bumped into some of the 16 crew that I was with, the group of friends I was with, I actually bumped into them at the breakfast buffet. Because I was back so early. They said, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be gone for eight hours. They're like, oh, the weather, huh?

You had to come back in. They said, yeah, we had to come back in. They go, oh, you know, some of them are like, oh, so I guess you didn't get a fish. And I went, no, no, I got a fish. And they're like, what? I hold up my iPhone because I took some pictures, of course. And they're like, what the hell? Everyone was pretty blown away by the fish.

I was blown away by the fish. It was quite the adventure. And it was a great, great time. So there you go. Hemingway's old man in the sea. And hopefully, hopefully I embodied that wonderful story that he wrote with my adventure. Pull it in Marlon on the high seas and Cabo San Lucas. Hello,

Hey, but mentirosa Enganguinas to the men With a Metir Hello

Hello Hello Hello Oh Hey Harland Miss Miss

Miss Oh Oh Hello Hello to share our stories of something that we got and broke the second we used it. For me, when I was a little kid, it was my birthday, my dad bought me a transformer toy, but it was like a really expensive, big, elaborate toy, and it had like these really complex transformations, and I was transforming it for the first time out of the box, and the head broke off. And I was obviously upset, and it never, you know, I just had to live with it like that. to the rest of its life with me. And my girlfriend wants to share her story.

Here she is. Hi, Harlan. When I was little for Christmas, I got a sky dancer. And the first time I'm using it outside, it went up and up onto the roof, never to be seen again. And my second skydance, the same thing happened in a tree. So, yeah, thank you. I think, Harlan, have a good time. Wow. Chalmain, man. Chalmain to your sky dancer. Chicken Chalmain. I don't even know what sky dancers are. Are those fairies? Are they elves? Are they kites?

I guess it could be in the name. Excuse me, it could be in the name. Sky dancer. You know, you let something like out of the bag with a name like that, it's going to hit the sky, man. So be on the lookout for two stray skydancers, everybody. And maybe they're being chased by a transformer without a head. Maybe that could be the Iqabob crane of the transformer world. You know, the headless horseman, you've got a headless transformer guy. That could be creepy. But the thing with the transformer is, you know, it's made of all kinds of different parts. So, in all honestly, you could have just grabbed anything around the house and stuck it on there.

It could have been like, you know, a transformer body with a ketchup bottle head or a two but crest toothpaste head or your shoe. You know, it could have been a transformer guy with all metal parts and a hair dryer for a face. I mean, you should have got creative. Okay? It can be anything you want. Excuse me, children. Has anyone seen Mummy's vibrator?

No, Mommy. I'm just playing with my transformer. G-spot-Tron. Okay, well, if anyone sees it, your transformer has a very pointy head. Yes, Mommy. It's G-Spot-Tron. Okay, I'm a little suspicious and a little bit aroused.

Mommy, mommy. So there you go. Thanks for calling in you guys. I did ask if anyone had, you know, broken something, you know, almost when they got it right out of the box or the first time they ever used it or tried it and got some great calls. Let's take one more before we end the show.

This one kind of made me laugh and cry at the same time as well. Hey, Harland. This is Brian, and I was calling in response to your homework assignment about calling in about something that I had busted the first day I got it or something like that. And I had put in a very nice garage gym and even put in a 8-foot-by-eight-foot mirror. and on the wall and I had that set up and then I decided to put in a heater a little portable heating unit

and that would give me the climate control for the winter and I made a mistake of putting that next to the mirror well I found out that the heat would break the mirror so after bringing in this 8 foot by 8 foot mirror

into my garage putting it up and everything I promptly broke it and then had to call and have it replaced. Not very interesting but I just finally thought of something that met your criteria and so I was

calling in and I listened to your podcast religiously enjoyed very much and I hope all is well with you. Talk you later, back. Oh, Brian, Brian, Brian.

Yes, it's interesting. How many people here have put a gym in their garage and put big mirrors up and put the heater on and bake them and have them explode? No one, just you? Yes, it may not be interesting to you, but to us, it's fascinating and mesmerizing. That sucks, man.

when you have a big mirror break that's not only a pain in the ass that's dangerous you got big giant shards of glass all around and I think you probably had what seven years of bad luck hopefully you're through that window now

and second of all you know what Brian is a dedicated listener to the show and want to give a personal thank you he calls in and comments a lot about things on the show appreciate it, bry, bry, bry, and to all of you out there who are dedicated listeners, thank you as well.

But special shout out to Brian way down there in Texas, the big old state of Texas, where people put a big old mirror on the wall in the gym and in the garage and flex the muscles so big that the mirror go bust right off the wall, man. that's probably what really happened, right, Brian? You flexed. You got those pectorals gone. You were like, boi-o-o-y-o-y-o-y-o-y-o-h. There goes your mirror.

And that's interesting, too. But thank you for listening. All of you thank you for listening. We ran a little bit long today because of my long-ass fishing story. I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly have some incredible memories of the fishing and all my friends down there in Cabo and the great time. And maybe I'll have to do it again one day.

But for now, let's get to some announcements, ladies and Nergel Blurgens. Let's see here. What do we have going on? I believe this weekend, this weekend I will be in Utah. I will be in Salt Lake City at Wise Guys Comedy Club. And it is going to be good. It is going to be real good. It's a great club.

You can get tickets. I'll be there September 19th and 20th. That's Friday and Saturday night only. Go to Harlow Williams.com to get your tickets. And we usually sell out in Utah, so get there and get there fast. Great club, great shows. Can't wait to see you. Harlow Williams.com, Wise Guys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City.

And then the next week, starting September 23rd, yes, I start my west coast of Western Canada, the Comzilla Comedy Tour. We're going from Victoria, BC, and we're going to Vancouver, we're going to Calgary, we're going to Regina, Saskatoon, all these great places. You can go to Harlow Williams.com, click on my stand-up schedule, and you can see all the dates.

Again, get your ticket. it's early. It's going to be a blast. The Comzilla Comedy Festival. And then coming up in October, I haven't been back for a while, about a year, October 10th and 11, I will be in Denver, Colorado.

Isn't the pot legal there now? I don't know. Maybe should I go on stage stoned and record it for you people? I don't know. That could be a dangerous experiment. We'll see. We'll see what happens.

Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. So, yeah, lots of good stand-up coming your way. October 16th to the 19th, I'll be in Edmonton, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada at the comic strip. Incredible comedy clubs. A lot's going on.

If you want to write me, you can write me at Harlem Williams.com. If you want to leave me a voicemail like these other callers did, 323, 739, 43330, and that number is also available on the website at Harlan Williams.com where you can also go to my store and buy merchandise, or you can subscribe to my YouTube channel. It's all free, you just click on the YouTube subscribe button, and any time I post a wacky video, you will get it for free. As I mentioned earlier, I'm at Harlan Williams on Twitter.

if you want to get on the Harlan Williams' Twitter bandwagon and get all my wacky posts. And man, oh, man, I think that's it. I think that's it. So until next time, everybody, you know, don't be a drag. Have your oysters on the half-shell and roller skate, roller skate with your chicken. Chalming, baby.

This is a good time Leave your chance Leave your chance be found.