The Harland Highway - 620 - We finally meet ROGER the show's producer. CRANK CALL, and crazy car.

Episode Date: November 3, 2014

The mysterious ROGER who produces the show from behind the glass, finally comes in for a sit down. People with CRAZY cars, a crank call to a pet shop, annoying politicians, and the funny side to Ebola. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

O, B-O-Y. And the O part was not a letter. It was O-H. O and then B-O-Y for O-Boy. And I say, oh, boy, because, oh, boy, what a show. Holy smokes. We're going to be making a crank call to a pet shop. And wait a hear what I ask for at the pet shop.

We're going to be talking for the first time ever. I got a phone message from one of you pavement pounders demanding to know more about Roger and so I was like screw it Roger my producer on the Harland Highway and I just said screw it and I pulled them into the studio and you'll finally get to hear from Roger

um yeah yeah I'll let you hear it um also we're going to be talking about people in crazy cars okay I think we've all seen a crazy car I'll explain more as we get in but I call them nutmobiles because you'll see. A funny story, something I've witnessed in a nutmobile.

Also, we're going to be talking about politicians and kind of the bullshit that they perpetuate. Kind of the crap that they kind of insult us with when they make these commercials and tell us what they're doing. And then we're also going to touch on Ebola a little bit, a little bit of live stand-up comedy here. on the Harland Highway. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan, funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming.

Later. How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway.

You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime. The Harland Highway You're all going to experience intense, mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't let me do it. I'll do it, I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy. You're new around here, ain't you?

What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams. All the rotten luck. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Ho didily dunk, diddley do, diddy dunk. How would your Halloween, Flirtle Blurgens and Schnurdle Flurgens? Did you have a good time? I'm still kind of processing mine, so I'm going to hold off.

I'm still like unwinding. I'll fill you in on how it went. How about on the next podcast? But for now, I'm still kind of putting the pieces together in my demented head. um yeah yeah yeah yeah so i'll just leave that right there for the time being thank you very much but i'll get to it i will get to it i hope you had a good one i hope it was safe i hope you got lots of candies and had got that fun and people loved your costume and i hope you didn't run into cinnamon boy or timmy the campfire kid i just hope you had good old fashion fun man

Um, so here we are. We're moving into the holiday season. We're going to transition out of Halloween and then we're going to motor into Thanksgiving and then we're going to boogie into Christmas and then we're going to freak out into the new year. It's a lot of crazy stuff happening, man. A lot of crazy stuff. So, uh, it's kind of a fun time a year, though. I think you'd all agree. It's kind of like just when one holiday kind of settles down, another one.

kind of kicks into gear. It's a lot of activity. It's a lot of celebration. But it's kind of cool. So, you know, let's have some fun as we start to close out the year. And I hate to say that. I mean, we're at the end of October, man. It's like we're closing out another year.

Two months left, November and December. And then another year has boogied by. I guess that's why they designed all these celebrations towards the end of the year just to help us forget that we're getting older. It's like, you know what? People are going to get depressed that they're getting older, man. So let's obscure their thought patterns

and we'll throw a whole bunch of like, we'll throw a holiday where you dress up and get candy. We'll throw a holiday where you celebrate a giant turkey and some pumpkins. We'll have a holiday where you celebrate the birth of the Lord's Savior. We'll have a holiday for the new year. We'll just no one will realize they're getting old, man.

As I have a heart attack. But just enjoy it. Have fun. And speaking of having fun, we're going to have fun today. Let's kick it off with a call from one of the pavement pounders. Hello? Hello. Paul and Williams.

Love the show. Hey, I'm very curious about your producer, Roger. He seems to be antagonizing. Have you ever thought of getting another producer? He kind of makes the show funny, but tell me a little bit. I'd like to know a little bit more about Roger. What does he like?

How did he become your producer? He's based off someone in real life. So, yeah, I was just curious about good old Roger. Maybe I'll actually get you a guest that you have a normal conversation with. Anyways, love the show. Keep doing what you're doing, my friend. All right.

Bye-bye. Oh, well, that's an interesting call. That's a valid question. You know what, Roger? I guess people really haven't talked to you before. So thank you for that inquiry. And, uh, Rod, you, why don't you answer that? Who are you?

Do you want me to come in there? Uh, yeah, why don't you? Come on in. Come on in. Let's get you through the glass. Let's make this personal. Come on in. I'd rather not.

Just come in. Come on, microphone. No. Come on. I'm not coming in there. Okay. You know what? It's my podcast.

I need you to come in. Just come in. My listeners want to know about you. It smells in there. All right. So here he comes. He's coming in, ladies and gentlemen. This is my producer, Roger.

He puts everything together. He's the master. mastermind here and uh there he is not the mastermind what hey sit down right there microphone too is it on you should know i mean you're microphone too is it up there you go okay so uh so what do you want well people are just curious because you know we've been doing the show six years and i'm always talking you through the glass and you're you're pressing all the buttons they just tell them about yourself do i i don't want to get my last name i don't want to let people know that i'm What?

Why? My name's Roger. I work on the Harland Highway. Whoa, wait a minute. Why don't I want to say your last name? You're, you know, it's your podcast. It's like, you know, it's not on the radio, so it's just a little podcast, so it's not a big deal. So I just, it's a way to make some extra money.

You're joking, right? Look, you don't pay me. Featherstone pays me. Yeah, but you're... I come in and do the show. Yeah. I push the buttons. I do what you say.

I don't want to be on the microphone But we have a thing Like we're a team right We're like buddies Yeah Big team Big team Whoa wait a minute

Holy smoke Maybe I'm glad we had this call I'm sense in like An attitude here Or a disdain for my Podcast My podcast Haven't had a raise

In six years Harlan Haven't had a raise I do your thing The animals come in here You let these other people in here Dr. Ascot's a freak You don't, you're on the radio, you deal with them with your little microphone. I got to deal with them behind the scenes.

Hold on. You're the guy I come in here, and you've let Michael Jackson sit at my console. I've come in here, Captain James T. Kirk's in here. They have appointments. Fuentes makes an appointment. They come in. I deal with them. And then you, it's like, you do your little thing.

And then I leave, and they're in the foyer, and I got to talk to them. I've asked you not to let people in. They leave stains on my chair. It smells. What the hell's wrong with you? Are you saying you don't like me? It's not me. It's you. Wow.

It's what I'm saying. It's not me. It's you. I'm really glad we had this talk. It's good to know. Can I go? Yeah. Why don't you go?

And by the way, I don't pay your, as you said, Featherstone pays your thing. Yeah. Wow. Just a little something once in a while. It's all I'm saying. Well, it almost sounds like you're embarrassed to be affiliated with me in this great podcast. No. Okay.

You know what? There's the door. Now you're laughing at me. That's right. I'm out of here. You guys laughing. Line two. Line two.

Take line two. Wow, you are. You know what? Whoever wrote me this sent in this call or now I'm all discombobulated. You know what, Roger, if you're back in the booth, go to a commercial. We'll talk about this more when I come back. No. Unbelievable.

It smells in there. So, brother, would you knock it off? God. I'm kind of There's your answer There's the answer There's me and Roger in a nutshell I hope you're happy

You know what I need to take a bray I'm going to go get a can of Coke Throw to another call Throw to one of our crank calls, Raj I'm calling out right of back Oh we're out for dog training Grilling and affordable vaccines This is Adam how to help you?

Hi Adam, how are you today Pretty good how are you? Great. This is Charles. I was calling to see, I'm here with my husband, Bill, and our son would like, we adopted a young boy, and he'd like a puppy. Do you have puppies? Do we have puppies at the store? Yes. We do not. We have the adoption agency that comes here on the weekend, and there's often puppies in there. Oh, okay, what kind are there? Because my son's just, he's just nuts about puppies, and we'd love to get something. Okay. They're here on the weekends, usually around 12 to 3.

If you got any right now that I don't hear any. If you go to the Society of Humane Friends, Georgia Agency, that's who we work with. And they have actually all the dogs in phone pictures on there. Okay, well, he'll go for, did you have anything like smaller, maybe a guinea pig or a ferret? Absolutely, yeah, we have guinea pigs, ferrets, bunnies. What, the bunnies?

Yeah, we have one bunny here right now. He's really cool. Oh, my God. What color? He's all white. He's actually albino, and he's got a lion's mane. Oh, my God. Wait, hold on. It's an albino bunny with lion hair? Yeah, he's got, like, a whole lion mane. Does he, is he dangerous? No, he's not dangerous. He doesn't get along with other bunnies too well, but he's really good with people.

So he's, I'm, wait a say, he's part bunny and he's part lion? No, he's not actually a little lion. It's just the type of hair he has. It grows really long around his neck and everything, like a lion's mane. Okay, because I wouldn't want my boy to be with a bunny in it. It turns on him and goes through his throat or... No, no, he's not like that. Okay, that's... How much is the lion rabbit bunny?

I'm not quite sure. I could transfer you to the floor, though, just because I'm in grooming. They'll be able to help you. Well, let me... You're in grooming. This is good because my son's allergic to animal hair. So what I need to know is, could you shave that hair right off? And could we get them?

hairless? On what kind of on the bunny? Yes. No, unfortunately everything that we work on in here has to have their rabies vaccine

and they don't do that. Rabies? Yeah, rabies vaccine. Do rabbits get rabies? I mean, in the wild they could. Well, this one sounds like you said it's part lion? Yeah, it's not part lion.

It's just has a lion mane. That's what they call it when it has long hair around his neck and chest. Let me ask you this. If I were to, let's say, wink, wink, wink, slide you a $20 bill? Could we maybe shave the bunny?

No, I really can't. I would lose my job. I'm sorry. What about would $40 get the bunny bald? No, man, I can't do anything with the bunny. I'm sorry. Well, I'm torn because my son is allergic to animal

hair and he gets his ankles swell up and he gets sick. We carry reptiles as well. I mean, we have snakes, lizards. Oh. Do they have hair? No, they're hairless, so you wouldn't have any kind of allergy issues with that. So they're bald? Yeah, yeah, all the lizards and stuff. They have no hair. How much is a bald snake?

Oh, hang on one sec. Let me check for it. Okay. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, I will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure

and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harlan. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Thank you for holding. This is Evan. How can I help you? Oh, hi, Evan. How are you?

Good. I was talking to one of your co-workers there, and I was explaining that we have a son, and he wants to get a pet, but he's allergic to animal hair. And so one of your co-workers in the grooming department was saying you have a lion rabbit, a lion bunny. A lion-headed rabbit, yes. It's albino? Uh-huh. So we were wondering, and I hope this isn't inappropriate, but I said I'd slip him $40 if he could bald it up for me, like shave it so that my son doesn't have a reaction.

Right. Well, a lot of times it's not just the dander. Sometimes the saliva can also be a problem, at least in terms of cats. The saliva? Mm-hmm. So, like, it'll spit on my child? No, like, you know how cats bathe themselves?

A lot of times I can cause an allergic reaction. Oh, my God, I'd just be devastated if, you know, Charles was playing with his albino lion rabbit and it spit on them. Well, let me ask you this then. Is it possible for $40, we balled it up, we shave it, and for another 40 we put duct tape around its mouth so it can't see? bit? We don't groom rabbit.

What about duct tape their little mouth shut? I'm afraid we don't have any duct tape. Okay. Well, I'll try another store. Thank you. Sure. Okay, bye-bye. Daniel!

Damien! Look at me! I'm over here. Damien, I love you. Look at me, Damien. It's all for you. Okay, settle down, everyone. Now, speaking of demonic,

have you ever seen a crazy, like, driver? And I don't mean, like, erratically driving, like swerving all over the road. what I'm talking about is a crazy driver in a crazy car. You ever see one of these cars and sometimes people have stuff like bunched up all the way to the roof, like the backseat and the trunk and there's garbage bags on the window. And, you know, clearly it's probably someone who's a hoarder or maybe they don't have a lot of money or they're just eccentric.

I don't know. But every now and then you see one of these real wacky cars. where the driver looks a little, you know, out of sorts, you know, like got crazy crooked wig on their head or, you know, glasses with lemonade on them or, you know, they're, they've got body sores or they're just, you know, their teeth look like they fell out of a scarecrow or something. I mean, you know what I mean? And every now and then you see one of these wacky vehicles where it just looks like

their whole life is stuffed into the car and you get the feeling they probably sleep or live out of their car well the other day and this one freaked me out it like kind of scared me but made me laugh at the same time uh i pulled into uh staples you know good old staples to buy some office supplies and uh i get in my car and i i go into staples as i'm coming out i get in my car. As I'm walking to my car, I see this, like, nutty car pulling up. It was kind of a beat-up old car, and the lady behind the wheel looked a little maniacal. She had kind of big, like, rolling eyes, and her skin was seven shades of tanning cream. You know, she looked like a desert at sunset, just all these different shades of brown on her face, and the car was overloaded

with bubble wrap and sandwiches and I think there was a dog and a cat sticking out somewhere. And I'd seen it all before, but what really got me, and this is where it kind of stuck in my head, and I thought I got to share this with the pavement pounders, I saw on the steering wheel, it looked like plastic garbage, not garbage bags, grocery bags. And I thought, what the heck is that on the wheel? And then they started moving. and then I looked, and I realized she had grocery bags on her hands, like mittens. I don't know why.

I don't know. It looked like they were held on with elastics or string or rope or something. But both her hands were, like, covered with great big, like, grocery bags from, like, your local grocery store. and she was like turning the wheel and she had kind of a kooky look on her face and her eyes were all bugged out and she caught me staring at her just like looking at her like fascinated

like wow what the hell is it's like it's like the first time you go to Cirque de Soleil and you're like wow and you just you almost want to tell her you want to go hey hey nutty hello nutty Yeah, there's grocery bags on your hands. And then you realize there's no way that could be an accident.

You realize they put the grocery bags on their hands. And now you're going, why? Why? What's wrong with their hands? What do those hands look like? I mean, I live in California, man, where it gets hot. And this looked like an old car. The windows were down.

It didn't look like she had air conditioning. So I'm like, what do those hands look like? You're driving around all day. 100 degree heat in the San Fernando Valley with the grocery bags on your hands. And you're driving, and I don't know, you've got to figure it gets all sweaty in there and moist, and then you've got to go, well, how do you even hold on to a steering wheel? Your hands are probably all watery and slimy, and you're trying to turn a wheel, and then the plastic slippery on top of it, and, I don't.

don't know man the mysteries of human beings the things that they do it's kind of bizarre it was just kind of bizarre and i you know you kind of want to yell paper plastic you know but you can't because you know obviously something's a little loose upstairs but just i don't know if if you've ever seen anyone in a wacky car call me i want to i want to hear about it man I want to hear your story Because everyone's seen it You've all seen the nut the nutmobile With the whack job in it

There's a guy that drives around Hollywood He's been here for as long as I've been here 20, 25 years And it's this guy And he drives around Hollywood And he's got a big like old car And he painted it pink And he rode all over

And he painted his name on it And he stuck like dollheads to it and and pieces of garbage and I mean his car's like a rolling museum and he's got signs and goes I'm an actor hire me I'm an actor and I think Ellen actually had him on her show a number of years back like she is I think his name's Dennis Woodruff or something you can probably see him online I'm pretty sure it's Dennis Woodruff but he had this nutty car and uh you know well you know what let me look it up here for you Okay, yeah, found it, right here on the internet. Dennis Woodruff, Dennis Woodruff. Look it up. Go on Google Images. It's Dennis and then Woodruff with two Fs, Woodruff. And you'll see, this guy's got, not only does he have one car, he's got like, he's got a whole fleet. I mean, this guy's got a whole bunch. He's got vans. He's got pickup trucks. He's got a trailer. And these things have giant heads stuck to them.

skulls and movie reels, and the whole vehicle's painted, there's flowers, there's duct tape, everything but a bald albino bunny. And this guy drove around Hollywood for years. That was his job. He'd get up every day and drive around and park in front of Starbucks and park on Hollywood Boulevard. And believe it or not, people, you know, I guess if you make enough noise for long enough, somebody notices you. And as I said, I think Ellen had this guy on her show. And I know my buddy Tom Green, who's had a bunch of different talk shows.

He's had this guy on. And, oh, my God. He's just looks like he's been through about 50 different cars, this guy. But kind of an example of what I'm talking about. Like, you always kind of see these people in the Nutmobiles. and so if you see someone out there driving around with shopping bags on their hands you better yell quick

paper or plastic because they're probably moving along pretty quick hello hey Harlan just want to let you know flat chicken wings are definitely the best and the bowl of rockerola is the best thing I've ever heard ever Well, there you go. Yeah, I asked the question of the day on a recent podcast is when you get chicken wings, do you like the drumstick or do you like the flat part? And it looks like this pavement ponder likes the flat part. I'm in agreement. So correct. You are correct. And I'm glad you liked Ebola rockerola making light of this whole Ebola. Oh, my God, I just got some. No, I'm kidding. Making light of the whole Ebola thing.

Even though it's a serious thing, you've got to admit there's, like always, there's been some overreaction and some hysteria. You know, there's an epidemic of Ebola, and yet, you know, three people have it or did have it or what have you. More people die every year from the common cold and the flu than Ebola. Now, that being said, Ebola could take off like a wildfire if it did get loose. So, you know, it's definitely something that needs to be contained and checked. The ramifications are deadly and lethal. But we had some fun with it. And it brings me to a point where I don't know if you've been watching these elections,

the midterm elections or whatever are heating up. And, you know, forget the elections, just politicians in general. doing things that I think they think makes them look like just regular people and like they have good intentions and that they're willing to sacrifice for the people. And case in point, the mayor of New York, after they found out that this doctor came back to New York and he was covered with Ebola,

and I think he's still in the hospital. God bless him. I hope he's okay. but this guy before he went into the hospital was wandering around. He went bowling. He went into restaurants and all this. And the mayor of New York, like two days later, gets on the news and has a bunch of camera crews following him around. And he goes into the restaurant where the guy who had a bowl of was.

He's like, well, I'll go in there. I'm not afraid of a bowl. I'll go into that restaurant and eat. Why? Because I'm a mayor. mayors don't get Ebola i'm superhuman i'll i'll show the citizens of this good city that it's okay to eat in a place where the Ebola guy was that i'll be fine i'm i'm the mayor and it's just so phony you know what i mean it's like okay we get the intention we get you're you're trying to

calm people down you're kind of but you're you're so caked and bullshit if you were just a citizen you go, you know what, there's 12 million restaurants in New York, I'm going to go into the Ebola one, just to show everyone that I'm cool, that I'm down, that I can handle it. Oh, brother, please. Just stop it. You know, you know what you should be doing? You should be setting up some perimeter tape and say, hey, folks, you know what? We don't really know this Ebola thing that well.

It's the first time it's come to America. So to look out for you as your mayor, we're going to put some place. police tape up around this restaurant for two weeks and, you know, maybe the city can compensate the restaurant for its trouble, but this is like ground zero. We're not used to this. Or he could say, you know what, stay away from this restaurant for a few weeks. Just play it safe. Like, isn't that the logical thing to do?

Isn't that what someone with a brain would do? But this politician, well, I'll just walk right in and sit down and have a bowl of soup and a bowl of sandwich now not like he's going to get a bowl it sounds like it you know you got to be in contact with people you got to blah blah blah right but it just irks me how phony these politicians one there's a there's a commercial going in california now about a politician who who is trying to ingratiate himself to the common person by saying you know i'm tired of our politicians flying around in first class. It's about time that politicians sat with the rest of us.

And then they, I swear to God, they cut to a picture of him in economy, not only in an economy seat, but he's in the middle seat surrounded by two people. So not only is the aisle full, but there's a person on each side, and he's sandwiched in there. He's got a blanket on his legs, and he's sitting there smiling at the cameras up to say, vote for me, I'm one of you guys.

And I'm like, no, you're quit pretending, ass. That you like that. Who in the right mind likes to be in the middle seat on an airplane for six hours from New York to California in economy? Sandwich between two people that might be fat, that might have nasal congestion, that might have gas, that might have Ebola. Who knows?

I'm going to vote for you because you're pretending. You like misery? Don't insult me, you idiot. You're such an idiot. It's like, what is wrong with you, man? Yeah, I'm a politician, and you know, I love to sit in that middle seat sandwich between people in economy class.

That's the kind of guy I am. You're so full of crap, dude. The minute you get elected, I'd like to see how long you harp on that one. And by the way, getting elected is a tough job. Being a politician is a tough job. My father was a politician. My father was on the go constantly.

My father was barely ever home. He was so busy at social functions, at meetings, out there mingling with the people, listening to their problems, going to their debates, going to City Hall. I mean, my father was never around. Politicians are busy, busy people. You know what? When they fly, God bless them. Let them have a first-class seat. You've earned it, man. You deserve it. You know, just because you're a public servant, doesn't mean you're not entitled to little perks. It's not an easy job to be a politician. It's time-consuming, and there's a lot of pressure, and there's people pulling you in a million directions, and I can handle the upgrade.

As a taxpayer, I'm okay. Okay, that's not going to kill me to pay a few extra hundred bucks out of everyone in the country's 350 million people. Everyone throws in a third of a penny so that Congressman Jones can sit in first class and maybe take a load. off. And believe me, I'm not trying to stick up for a lot of politicians because a lot of them are pretty low life and sleazy and not all of them, but some of them. And the last thing you want to do is see some weasel in first class. But you know what? Every job you do, whether you're a janitor, whether you're a manager, McDonald's, whether you're a CEO. I don't care what you are. At some point, you get to go up a little notch.

You get little perks. If you're a janitor, maybe they give you a new bucket. Maybe they give you a brand new style of vacuum cleaner. Maybe, who knows, but everyone deserves little upgrades when they work hard. And so I don't mind that. But don't sit around and pretend that you're such a common man that you want common things. Gee, there's some homeless guys. Why don't you go live in a box under the bridge politician?

Why don't you show us what a man of the people you are? Go live under the bridge. Go live in the gang neighborhoods. Go eat garbage out of a dumpster with a homeless guy. You know, there's better ways for you to contribute and make life better for homeless people and people with problems and people with needs, which is what you're supposed to do as a politician,

but don't walk around acting like you want to be a commoner and you're going to go eat where the Ebola is and you're going to sit in the middle seed and it's all just too phony. It's a bunch of posturing. Stop it. Stop it. Now, that got way too serious.

I think maybe we should end on some Ebola humor. Isn't that the way to do it? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Let's end the show with a laugh. And let's continue. on this theme of Ebola well it's good to be here I can't say I'm happy about traveling right now and let me sum it up with this Ebollah stuff. Have you heard about this going around? Ladies and gentlemen, 40,000 people in Africa got the Ebola for crying out loud, huh? You know how you get it? This is what I'm hearing on the news. You get it if you get diarrhea, spit, and vomit on you. What kind of crazy East German scat party are they having over there?

How did those three elements come together at once? Say, Steve, sorry, I got some diarrhea on you there. clean that up. Oh, that smells. Oh, that smells. That should be the early morning system, too. Just put a fucking Swiss guy up on the hill with a fucking pipe. There it is. Okay.

Good old Ebola, ladies and gentlemen. So there you go. We ended on a little laugh. Let's wrap it up. We're running a little bit late here. So let me give you some announcements real quick before we go. Ladies and gentlemen. So if you want to catch me doing some stand-up comedy,

I'm going to be in Tampa, Tampa, Florida this weekend. I will be at the Tampa Improv, November 6th through the 9th. great great club come on down get your tickets online go to harland williams.com you can order your tickets right through my website there if you want and then the following week november 13th through the 16th i will be in san jose california on the other side of the country at the improv and then later in november november 20 to 22nd i'll be in Seattle, Washington at the Parlor Live. So three great clubs, November's chock full of great stand-up comedy venues for me.

And we're going to have a laugh. If you want to leave me a phone message and talk about chicken wings or Ebola, rockerola, whatever you want, the number's 323-739-4-330, 3-23739-3-3-3-0. The number's also on the website. remember it or if you just want to write me you can write me at harland williams.com and uh sometimes we read your letters on the air and sometimes we play your phone calls on the air so uh always love to hear from the pavement pounders anything you want to talk about is cool while you're at the uh website feel free to shop at the uh harland highway merch store we have some really great

fun gifts in there some new hand-drawn t-shirts uh music all kinds of fun stuff and make sure you check out all things comedy.com. That is the Comedy Network where you can also find my podcast along with some other funny comedic podcasts on there. And what else? What else? That's it. Subscribe to my YouTube channel when you get to my page.

Just click on the YouTube icon and you will get my videos when they come out. Hopefully you'll enjoy those. And that's it. Tell your friends to get this. their asses on the Harland Highway so we can share the laughter with them. And that's it. Be safe out there. Make sure you sit in the middle seat and always order your food at an a be, a be, a be, a be, a bowl of restaurant.

And until next time, chicken, chalming, baby. It smells in there. Thank you.