The Harland Highway - 624 - LISTENER MAIL BAG. BBQ EDDY, strange news.

Episode Date: November 20, 2014

Today we read some of your letters. BBQ Eddy makes final call of the season, and you'll never guess how old the oldest person in the world is! Prune a sand dune!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sweet heavenly hellcat. Meow! Don't know what that meant, but I thought I'd start with it. Sounds fun to me. Welcome to the Harland Highway. I am your host, Harlan Williams. And great show today. We're going to be taking some of your letters.

We're going to dip into the Harland Highway listener mailbag. So we'll be hearing letters from some of you pavement pounders. um we're going to be doing a uh a call with uh eddie barbecue eddie's last phone call of the season before old man winter rolls in hopefully it's a good one for barbecue eddie also we are going to be doing a crazy news story about a guy who's apparently the oldest human being on planet earth Okay, I'm not even going to tell you how old he is. You're going to have to listen in on your own, but you are going to be startled and shocked and surprised

at just how old this person is. It's almost unbelievable, but wow. So there you go. We got a good show today, and thanks for writing in. You can always write me at harlomwilums.com or call me at 323-739-4-330. That's how you do it, and you'll be part of the Harland Highway. You're listening to Harlan Williams.

Harlan, funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming. Later. How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications.

He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap. be worn sometime. The Harland Highway. You're all going to experience intense, mental, physical, strength.

All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't that be doing. I'll do it. I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy. Remember around here, ain't you? What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams.

We're rotten luck. Welcome to the Harland Highway. This is Eddie. He wants to party, but they just hang up. Oh, hey, how's it going? Going well, thank you. Hey, it's Eddie calling. All right.

I'm going to see if maybe you want to do a barbecue today or something. This is an answering service. Okay, well, I got some fresh ribs and some. Corn on the cob if you want to slap them on the grill and maybe have a hyniquin or whatnot? All right. I think that you might have the wrong phone over, sir. Oh, who's this? This is Nikki with the answering service.

Oh, okay. Well, hey, I'm not opposed to inviting new friends to the barbecue if you want to, like, like, ribs or chicken and stuff, or you can slap some on the queue and have a hyniquin or have a hyniquin or have a Heineken or whatnot. Gotcha. Were you trying to invite the fellows at Advanced Auto Repair? Yeah, I was looking for some of the guys down there, but you're welcome to come and join in the barbecue, you know?

Sounds great. I do appreciate it. Did you want me to get a message out to them? Just tell them we're having the barbecue like 4 o'clock, but... Eddie? E-D-D-I-E? What's your last name, Eddie? It's E-D-D-Y, Eddie.

And... Jackson. Eddie Jackson. ACK-S-O-N. Is this for a company? It's just for the guys at the shop. And like I said, you're welcome to come. We could slap some ribs down or crack a Heineken.

What kind of beer do you like? That's okay. I don't drink beer, sir. All right, yes. And you're inviting them to a barbecue at 4 p.m. today? Yeah, 4 o'clock. And you're welcome. And if anyone else there wants to come, come on down.

I do appreciate it. Thank you so much. Okay, we'll get the ribs slapped on there. All right, inviting everyone and to please call back. Yeah, Eddie. All right, I'll go ahead get the message out for you, sir. Awesome. It's going to be awesome. Perfect. Okay, hopefully we see you there. Thanks.

You're welcome. Bye, sir. Bye. All right, I finally did it. I finally got someone to come to my barbecue. He wants to party, but they just hang up. Oh, yeah, I think that's a good way to end off the barbecue season with Eddie. I mean, we're into mid-November now. The snows are coming.

You know, I think we hang up the barbecuing until next year, Eddie, wherever you are. But I think that's a nice way to end the barbecue season with our man, Eddie, finally getting a barbecue going. At least it sounds like he got some. I'm answering service to send a message about the barbecue. Does the, but do people come to the barbecue? I have my doubts. But who knows?

Maybe we'll hear from Eddie. Maybe he'll do a winter barbecue. I don't know. But I'm sure we'll hear from him in the spring and find out if he finally closed the deal. So there you go. Congratulations, Barbecue Eddie, for closing out this season with What sounds like could possibly be people attending your damn barbecue. God bless you, Barbecue Eddie.

Wow. One cheeseburger with everything coming up. Heaven's to Mergatroyd. Let's see what the mail bringer gave them. It's time to check the mail bag. Letters. Oh, we get letters. We get your letters.

Every day. Mailman, mailman, mail today. Reach right in and pull one out. Those letters. I love those letters. Let's find out what you've got to say. Oh, boy. Mailman, mail today. All right. Let's do it. Let's check a little mail, shall we? Why not? We've got people that write into the podcast here. You can write in, too, if you

so desire, oh, uh, just go to Harlan Williams.com and you'll find the link there under the contact heading. Uh, click on the link and you can write to me too. Isn't that special? I think it's special. Uh, anyways, let's read a couple of letters here. We get a lot of them and we want, uh, your voice to be heard. Here's one, uh, this is from, uh, Mr. Tweedy. ER Tweety, Mr. Harland Highway. Just found your podcast at random, and it has made my list already. Well, there you go. This person's a genius.

I've been catching up and listening to all available episodes. Well, we're at the 600s, so you're going to be doing a lot of catching up. Have fun. Let's see. It says, I've turned people at work onto the podcast, and everyone thinks it's Hulleryhuss. In episode 423, you talked about vacations and road trips you take and how you don't plan anything.

My buddy and I did the same thing, jumped a standby plane from Dallas to Flagstaff, Arizona, rented a Camaro, and drove north around the Grand Canyon through K-Bob National Forest to Vegas and back. Wow, that sounds excellent. We had a blast, and I would recommend something to you that we thought of on the trip that I think made it better. Okay, what is it? Here it is.

No chain restaurants. We ate only at places we've never heard of starting in Arizona at Baylor's Amish Cafe. Oh, that's a great idea. It was great and made for a much more interesting trip. I think that is an excellent idea. Yes, yes, yes, yes, Tweedy. I totally agree with that. I think that's a great idea.

You experience new things. You kind of have a different flavor and food while you're out there. Excellent idea. Excellent. And then lastly, Mr. Tweedy or Mrs. Tweedy, I don't know, because they didn't put a first name. It says, thanks for the podcast. I would love to hear you on Joe Rogi.

Rogan's podcast since you've already been on Pete Holmes and DLM. Go and eat some chicken chowmaine. Okay. Well, yeah, you know, it's funny. I'm friends with Joe Rogan. I haven't got the invite to his show. But I would do his show if he asked me. I'm not the type of guy that goes around asking to be on stuff.

I'm just too humble that way. So I would never ask Joe to be on. I don't ask to be on anyone's podcast, but actually that's a lie. Sometimes I call Adam McRole up and say, hey, hey, buddy, let's jump on the podcast. Because I'm like a regular on Adams podcast, and sometimes I just miss it and I feel like I haven't done it in a while. So sometimes I call them most of the time they call me, but outside of that, no, I don't really ask to be on people's podcast. but should Joe want me on, man? Are you kidding? Yeah, I'd go on with Joe, stir it up with Joe Rogan.

We've spent a lot of time together over the years doing stand-up comedy and, you know, doing functions. And so, yeah, come on, Joe, call me. No. Thank you for your letter, Mr. Tweedy. Great suggestion. I'm going to adopt that one. Um, it's tough because when you're out on the, on a road trip, a lot of times, sometimes you want to eat in the car because you're on a road trip. But, uh, I like this idea of stopping at places you've never been at before. And I have done that a lot.

I haven't made it exclusive to my whole road trip. But now on one of my road trips, I'm going to do that because what you get when you, when you go outside of fast food places or familiar names like, Applebee's or things like that. What you get is something we call character, ladies and gentlemen. And character is in the mom and pop places. They're in the weird out-of-the-way places. And you get to go in and you experience something that looks different, smells different, taste different. That's what she said.

And it's a fun idea. So I'm 100% behind it. Thank you so much for your. your letter tweetie tweetie pie and uh let's do another one here we go okay here we go here's another letter and before i read please excuse my nasally congestion i don't have a cold it's kind of like hay fever it's uh it's that time of year in los angeles where we kind of get hay fever allergy stuff happening at a weird time of year most people get it in the spring in the summer we just kind of get it now.

And so, you know, I already sound nasally enough, which I hope isn't too annoying for some of you listeners. But, yeah, it's a little bit, it's a little bit hay fevery now. So if I sound a little clogged up, it's because of that. But enough of that, let's get to the next letter. Here we go. This is from, well, it doesn't really say. So let's just...

Oh, wait, it's from a guy named Willie. Willie wrote me here. He says, I like the new website, but where's the merchandise? And he also says, great pictures and art on the new site. When will you get the store back up and running? Well, thank you, Willie. As I mentioned, I do have my website, harloweems.com, has been revamped. It's all new.

you can go in and look at it and it's a lot more interactive there's a lot more stuff to look at and watch and play around with and we are just in the process of putting the store back up online so you can buy fun

things especially with Christmas coming up so check out harlemwilliams.com and while you're there write me a letter just like Willie did thank you Willie for your letter Let's move on, shall we, ladies and gentlemen? Do you mind if we move on?

Here's one from Carrie Ann V. Harlan, on the subject of weird, crazy cars, I live in Orlando, Florida, and if you ever travel on International Drive by SeaWorld, there's a car that is covered with religious things, statues, dolls, and other things glued to the car, as well as quotes and Bible verses. It goes up and down, and I drive that highway all the time.

Hope you have a great week. Yes, yes, I've seen cars like this. There's a guy in Los Angeles that drives around in a car, and it's got all kinds of, like, military stuff on it. He's written, he's got Bible verses all over his car, and he's got stuff about war veterans and heroes, and it's just, it's crazy. It's like his car is like a driving advertisement.

And it's tough when you get around vehicles like that because you instantly become focused on, wait, what does that say? And it's a little bit dangerous because you kind of like, you start to take your eyes off the road because you're reading a guy's car. It's like a newspaper just drove by or a magazine article. You just like driving in traffic. La-di-da-la, trying to get a.

home on the rush hour commute and all of a sudden a book drives by and you're reading the side panels of a Ford Chevy. What? Hello. So, uh, awesome letter, Carrie Ann. Thank you. Yeah, we did a segment a while back about weird and wacky cars. Uh, people that glue stuff to their cars and all that kind of kooky stuff.

So thank you, uh, for sharing. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order, doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to

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Let's see, what else do we have here? This is good, ladies and gentlemen. I do love your letters. Here we go. This is from Shelly. Shelly writes in, Hey, Harlan just wanted to say that I first heard you on the Adam Carolla podcast. There we go.

And you made me laugh. Since then, I've seen you in Dynamo at your show. I loved it. My only disappointment is that I didn't want it to end so quickly. That's what she said. I was sad when it was over. Oh, I know people, it's funny when I do my stand-up comedy. Sometimes I'll get to the end of it.

and people will yell, no, don't go, no, like they don't want it to stop. And I get it because we're having fun, but, you know, you can only run a show so long. Shelly continues, she says, by the way, Adam should pay you a visit on your podcast, or will he be guests working on our own? And I must say, it's really funny. Keep up the great work. All right, well, I did have Adam Carolla as a guest on my podcast. If you look through the archives, you will find, I think there was one or two episodes where Adam Carolla was my guest, and maybe it's time to get him on again.

How about that? See, good idea to Shelley. Thank you for that so very, very much. And why don't we do one more email right here? And we'll see what people say. All right, here we go. This last letter, sometimes I dedicate the whole show to letters. Today we're just doing a couple to get caught up here.

Here's one from, oh, this person often, often writes in to the Harlan Highway. We love hearing from Veronica Rossi. Always some great letters from her. What she got to say, dear Mr. Williams, I love, love, love the pods. Aw, thank you, Veronica. Thank you so much. You're giving the gift of laughter,

and it's helping so many people. Well, there you go. Nothing wrong with that. However, here we go. However, recently you said, the only organism with triangle eyes are pumpkins. Obviously, pumpkins do not have eyes. I believe you meant that jack-o-lanterns have eyes.

The jack-o-lantern comes from the Irish. folklore about Stingy Jack. Aha, yes. And then she says, pendantically yours. Veronica Rossi. I don't know what pendentically means. She's so good with words.

I think she's trying to trick me up. I don't even believe it is a word, but I know it is because she's really smart and she knows about words. This is true. Veronica sent me this link about Stingy, Jack, and I never looked at the link. I didn't have a chance to look at it,

and then I guess this letter got kind of buried in the pile, and I went on and looked up the legend of the Jacko Lantern, which I told you guys about in my Halloween show, and that was even without looking at Veronica's link or remembering that she told me about it. But then since the Halloween show, I know there's another letter in here. she sent me a letter saying,

Hey, I was the one that told you about the link with that thing and blah, blah. And I'm like, yes, you, now I'm going back into the archives here. I see you're right. You're always right, Veronica Rossi. Always. And that's why we love you. Thank you for your letter of Veronica. Thank you to all of you.

Don't forget, just go on the website, harlomwilliams.com, and write to harlorewilms.com. You'll see the form under the contact header. And I look forward to hearing from you and reading your email on the Harland Highway listener mailbag. Let's close it up, Raj. Thank you, everybody. news stories.

That's weird. That's strange stuff. I don't know if this is crazy or it's kind of like crazy good, I guess, based on your perspective. But here's the headline. Are you ready for this? Hold on to your adult diaper. 179-year-old man found in India, quote unquote from him, death has forgotten me.

Holy jumping. Are you kidding? 179? That's just 20 years away from 200. It turns out a retired cobbler from northern India claims he was born in January 1835, making him not only the oldest man on earth, but the oldest to have ever lived, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. Wow. Well, except for Barbara Bush. I mean, Barbara Bush is, what, 428 or something? But she's a girl. So let's just say this is the oldest man.

According to the Indian officials, this man was born at home in the city of Bangalore on January 6, 1835, and is recorded to have lived in other cities since 1903. He worked as a cobbler until 19 he worked as a cobbler until 1957 where he retired at the already venerable age of 122. Can you imagine? I mean, you get a golden watch at what, 55? What do they give you at 122? You know what, have Bermuda. Yeah, old timer. Thanks for your service.

You've got Bermuda. And if you make it to 150, you know what? Hawaii's yours. Enjoy. And here's a quote from the guy, our 179-year-old friend. He says, I have been alive so long that my great-grandchildren have been dead for years. What? Holy God.

Imagine going to the funeral of your own grandparents. great-grandchildren? Explains Mr. Murasi, I'm probably getting the pronunciation wrong, he says in quotes, somehow death forgot about me, and now there's hardly any hope left. Look at the statistics. Nobody dies past 150, even less at 170. At that point, I guess I'm immortal or something. I might as well enjoy it.

A mortal, dude. You're a Highlander, man. This guy's a Scottish Highlander. You ever see that movie The Highlander or these guys just live forever? That's what this dude is. He's a freaking Highlander. From the dawn of time we came.

Moving silently down through the centuries living many secret lives. He's the only Indian man in India with a Scottish accent. Hello, hello, what part of India are you from? I've been coming from Bollywood. Go and give us a kiss then. I come from New Delhi, I do. Ah, let me get me bagpipes and play as some traditional Indian music.

Argue I'm afraid you don't seem like you're very Indian Aye I've been around longer than the Lochness monster lad What in the hell is the Lochness monster Aye, why don't you look at my 178 year old penis

Excuse me That's your Lochness monster right there Holy crap Are you telling us me you have a hundred and seventy-eight year old penis? I call her Nessie. Sweet Christmas plum cake. That's what she said. All right, enough of this. Highlander. From another time comes a man of great power. Talk funny Nash where you from? Lots of different places. But mostly I'm from New Delhi, India. And telling who this man is not from India. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you,

I'm lad. This guy who's been creeping around since 1700. It's not possible. Now the story goes on to say that this man's birth certificate and identity cards all seem to confirm his version.

But unfortunately, there's no medical examination that can confirm what he is saying for now. The last doctor, Mr. Mersai visited, died in 1971, so there's little information available

about his previous medical files. Wow. Why don't they like search his body and see if there's like Tyrannosaurus Rex bite marks on his skin anywhere? Or, you know, cut him in half and count the rings.

This guy's a walking giant redwood tree, man. You cannot die, McLeod. I'm Connor McLeod. I'm Conard of McLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenn Finnan on the shores of Locksheel. I am immortal. I mean, can you imagine this guy like, what do his organs look like? What does his insides look like? How many times has this guy's heart taken a beat?

I mean, what's his eyesight like? what's his hearing like how does the human body sustain itself for that long i mean let's face it we've all seen people in their 70s and their 80s most people don't live through their 70s and their 80s and man some people look so withered up and shriveled they almost don't look human anymore and this guy's coming up on 200 i mean What if he just keeps going? What if he can't die? I guess there's got to be an anomaly somewhere in the human race

where just for whatever reason you just keep going. It's just a weird fluke, like the tallest man in the world and the shortest man in the world and the fattest person in the world. I guess maybe there's a fluky human being that can just keep going. I mean, can you imagine this guy was born before the first automobile? And he might be around when we land on Mars? Holy Highlanda! Highlander, there can be only one.

Yep, there can be only one. I mean, good Lord. Happy birthday to this guy, man. Unbelievable. Can you imagine all the candles on this guy's birthday can? I mean, it would be like every smoke detector in the village would go off. Fire! Fire! Don't worry, it's only my birthday cake. That's 179 lit candles. And I'm going to blow them all out. Maybe in another hundred years.

Wow. Well, let's see how long this time. tortoise keeps on crawling, man. And God bless him. I'd love to know what he eats every day. Probably count chocula and Snickers bars or something. Holy smokes, I eat haggas. So there you go. May we all live to be even a quarter of his age.

You cannot die, McLeod. Wow, pretty wild. He is immortal. Unfortunately, we are not immortal or immortal. We have to go. We've run out of time here on the Harland Highway. I wish I had 179 years to do my podcast for you. The longest podcast in the Guinness Book of World Records, 179 years. Anyhow, thanks for being here today. Please, if you're around the Seattle, Washington area this weekend, starting tonight, Thursday, November 20th, right through the weekend till November 22nd, I will be doing shows at the Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington. That's just a little bit outside of Seattle. So get your tickets at harlomwilliams.com.

And then in mid-December, I will be at the improv in Kansas City, Missouri. Get tickets December 4th through the 7th. You can get them at Harlow Williams.com. And then I go to Crackers Broad Ripple in Indianapolis, which is December 11th to the 13th. And then that's it for the rest of the year, man. Daddy's taking it off. So I hope to see it.

some of those shows and while you're there at the website take a look around it's brand new we just revamped my whole website harlom williams dot com can watch video clips listen to music um all kinds of cool stuff and uh really excited about the new website we're working on the store right now should have the store up and running again very soon um you can uh you can sign our uh Our mail or subscription list so we can let you know when things are happening. You can click on the YouTube subscription button so you can watch my wacky videos when they come a calling. And all kinds of stuff, man. We're going to have it so you can order digital downloads.

We're working on the best of Aunt Ruthie. Oh, my goodness, Angel. So we'll have that available soon. All kinds of cool stuff on the new website. check it out. Also, go to the comedy click, click on the comedy schedule, and reserve your tickets for these shows. Like I said, The Parlor Live in Seattle this weekend. Also check out all thingscom, which is a podcast network where my show is featured as well. Other good comedians on there, Jake Johansson and the like.

And what else? My goodness, I think that's it for now. Check out Filopio, my new app. It's banned from Apple at this point. We're working on it, but right now it's just on Android. It's called Filopio. It's a great shooting game. Philopio runs through fallopian tubes and shoots bad sperm cells,

preventing them from getting to the egg and making horrible people. I'm sure you know a few. And that's it. Man, that's all we got for today. Keep on being immortal, everyone. And until next time, a great big, endless bowl of chicken. Shaoamane, baby? You cannot die, McLeod.