The Harland Highway - 626 - THANKSGIVING SHOW AND PARADE.

Episode Date: November 27, 2014

It's the annual Thanksgiving show where we talk about the holiday. Also we go LIVE to the 87th annual Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade with our commentators John and John giving play by play on the parade. Giblet my niblet!!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah, that's the turkey. That's the Thanksgiving turkey. Wow, wow, wow. Welcome, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving. Welcome to the Harland Highway Thanksgiving show, where the show centers around the holiday of American Thanksgiving. If you're Canadian or you're in other parts of the world,

maybe you don't relate. Canadian Thanksgiving is in October. and other countries in the world. I don't know if you do Thanksgiving, but I think you'll still have fun listening to today's show. We are going to be going to the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade with John Walters and John Walters and John starters. They're going to be doing the color commentary,

commenting on all the beautiful floats coming down, down the road, just a lot of fun. We're going to be talking about the actual day of Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving. What does it mean? What does the words Thanksgiving mean? We're going to be giving thanks today. We're going to be giving some thanks for things on the show. And we're also going to be talking about the turkey, the Thanksgiving turkey, and are there alternates to the Thanksgiving turkey when it comes to the Thanksgiving feast?

We're going to talk about all of it. Thank you for being here on Thanksgiving. This is the Harlan Highway. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan, funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming. Later.

How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. You're a groovy boy.

I'd like to strap you on sometime. The Harland Highway. You're all going to experience intense. Mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't be doing. I'll do it. I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy. You're new around here, ain't you? What's your name?

You're listening to Harlan Williams. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh boy, here we go. You know this song. The Thanksgiving song. play it every year yeah it's the thanksgiving day harland highway podcast and uh today we're going to uh we're going to do a thanksgiving podcast we're going to talk about the holiday we're going to talk about giving thanks uh we're going to be checking in on the harland highway thanksgiving day parade

with John and John throughout the show. They'll be up in the booth commenting on all the wonderful Thanksgiving floats coming down on the Harlan Highway. Just a wonderful festive time of year and a wonderful festive Thanksgiving show that we do every year. So hope you enjoy it. And I know I'm talking all over this song, but we'll play it again at the end of the show.

Nice and clean and clear. No gobbling or talking. And you can hear the turkey Thanksgiving song, which we play every year as well. So sit back and enjoy the podcast. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. And let's get into it right here on the Harlan Highway Thanksgiving podcast. Oh, turkey. Gubu gama, gauva, gauva, givna, givogga, gava, gauwagoole, gau, gips d'clock.

Ah, yes, the turkey, the dear old, stupid, old, dummy old turkey. Oh, uh, uh, turkeys are dumb. Uh, really dumb. Oh, man, poor turkeys. Good Lord. Give them a break. Maybe, maybe we do need to give turkeys a break. I mean, how many centuries have we been eating turkeys?

When did the turkey thing begin? Um, gosh. Uh, maybe, maybe we need to, maybe we need. to shift direction here. Maybe we've got to give the turkey a break and try some other birds. What if we, on Thanksgiving Day, we had the Thanksgiving Blue Heron. They're big. They're probably bigger than a turkey.

Or a Thanksgiving egrit. They're probably full of protein. They stand in the swamp all day and stab fish with their pointy beaks. And they're pretty. They're all white. The big, you know, those big white egreg you see flying around in Florida? Nice clean, white bird. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, uh, I don't know. Maybe, maybe we get rid of some birds we don't like. Do we like crows flying everywhere? Do we like seagulls everywhere? How about a nice Thanksgiving? Seagull. You can use the webbed feet to stir your eggnog,

and you use the webbed feet as a gravy stirrer. Just stir that gravy round and round with that webbed seagull foot. And then the egret's beak, you can roast marshmallows later, or you can use it to cut the pumpkin pie. Oh, yeah. Or what if it was more like dimmed, some, where we had Thanksgiving sparrows. You know those little tiny sparrows that jump around in your yard?

Cheap, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, right? And it's just like, they're like dumplings. They're like Thanksgiving dumplings. You just cook up a whole basket of sparrows and chickadees. And instead of, you know, carving up one giant bird, everyone just has like a little, it's like a popcorn bucket. Hey man, you want a large or a small sparrow bucket? You want large, medium, a small chickadee bucket for Thanksgiving, man. I guess I'll take a medium.

Can I get some hot butter on that too, please? Yeah, you got it, man. You know, little baby. Or what about our national bird? What about that? That's a big, powerful bird. How about bald eagle? Dun-da-na-da-na-da-da-na.

You know, instead of giving thanks, you can stand around the cooked bald eagle and salute. That's our national bird. And with those big claws, instead of shoving an apple in the pig's mouth, you could put some apples in the turkey and the eagle's claws or, I don't know. Put a baseball in there.

That's in another American pastime. So a Thanksgiving bald turkey and maybe have some Thanksgiving sparrows as an appetizer. And how about for a frilly fun Thanksgiving dessert? You have a Thanksgiving flamingo. Oh, my God, this Thanksgiving bird is pink. Fabulous. Oh, delicious.

So I don't know. Just some thoughts. Maybe we shift gears this year. go out in your yard grab a blue jay grab a robin red breast a cedar waxwing a bat

I know those are mammals but they fly how about a how about a Thanksgiving bat or a flying squirrel even I hear squirrel meat's good they eat it in West Virginia I don't know oh god Anyways, enough about that.

I think Roger's given me the signal that we got to get to the first segment of the Harland Highway Thanksgiving parade. Okay, we're going to do that. Rod says they're just about ready to go. We're going to be over there with John Starter and John Walters. They're up in the booth, and they're calling the beautiful floats as they come down the Harlan Highway. Okay, Patch is in, Raj. Here we go. Here we go, folks.

Have fun. We are taking you live to the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade right now. Have fun. Well, good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 49th Harlan Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade. And what a beautiful day we have here today. I'm John Starrers, here with my sidekick, as usual, right here to my right. This is Mr. John Walters. John. Thank you, John.

It's really good to be here, and I hope we have a good parade this year. After last year's parade, pretty much sucked a giant lemon meringue pie, John. Well, let's not get off on a pessimistic foot here, John. The sun is shining. You can hear the children laughing, and I think everybody's warmed up and ready to go. I'm sure we'll have some wonderful, wonderful floats coming down the road in just a few minutes. Well, let's hope so, John, because last year was what I call a debacle. Well, in what?

No, don't try to talk me off a ledge here, John. It was nothing short of a giant debacle. People were crushed under floats. People were getting sick to their stomachs. There were old ladies that someone had their legs cleaved off. There were police choppers in the sky. It was just one giant cluster, you know what, after another. Well, we did have a little bit of, shall we say, unorthodox.

Not unorthodox, John. Smallpox, if you're going to use the ox word. Well, I didn't really use an ox word, John. Well, I heard you say unorthodox, and that doesn't do much to describe the parade we had last year. If you want to talk ox, then how about smallpox, a disease where people slowly wither up and die? Well, John, let's not get too carried away, carried away, shmeried away. Let's hope that this year things go in the right direction. because last year, John...

Oh boy, here it comes. It was not really working, John. Oh, boy, there's the not really working thing. That's all I can say. It was not really working. Well, why don't we put the pass behind us, John? Because as I look, coming around the corner is the very first float. And how exciting is this?

It looks like the gang from Massing Gil, a disposable douche, has got a beautiful float this year, John. Oh, boy. Someone get the oil and vinegar and make me a Caesar's salad. Well, it looks like we've got a bunch of beautiful women dressed up standing on it. It looks like a, well, I don't know if I should say it. Well, then allow me, John. It's a giant douche bottle on wheels.

This is a disgrace. There's children in the crowd. There's young boys who don't understand what douching is. And there's young girls that have yet to douche. This is really inappropriate. Well, they do throw a little money at the parade, John. And speaking of throwing things, it looks like the models of the giant bottle douche. Well, it's a douche bottle on wheels, John.

Don't tell me, my douche. I know, douche, do douche you know? What? Duce, you know what I know, John. Dush, I know what you know. Dush, you, forget it. Look it, they're up on the douche mobile, if I can call it that. Well, I think that's probably accurate, John.

And they're up there, the models. Why do women douche? Well, I don't know this time for riddles. This isn't a riddle, John. This is a medical question. Okay, I'll bite. Why do women douche? Because they get the yeast.

I'm sorry? They get the yeast infections if they don't keep the train tunnel clean, if you know what I mean. Well, now, John, let's get into the train tunnel. A douche is to keep the train tunnel clean so there's no yeast. Well, you know, it's not exactly medical terminology you're using here. John. No, I'm using street terminology, John, because that's where the giant douche mobile is right down there on the street. And look at the bright colors and the models are throwing yeast into the audience. What do you mean, John? If you take a closer look, those models are throwing

loafs of bread, muffins, kaiser rolls, and raw, uncooked dough, yeast. Oh, my goodness, you're right. Look at, oh, wow, an old lady just took a pile of yeast right to the face. And now she looks like a gingerbread boy. What, is there something in your throat, John? I'm saying she looks like a gingerbread boy. Well, she does look all doughy. Oh, my goodness, another old lady just got a.

a big blob of raw yeast all over her face, and she looks like Ben Grimm from the Fantastic Four. Oh, my God, you're right, the big hulking character from the Fantastic Four with the bumpy, yeasty skin. This is a travesty. These people should douche themselves right out of the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade. Oh, well, now John, I don't think... Don't John me, and what's that smell? You're absolutely right, John. There is a bit of an odor rising up off the Dushmobile. Holy Jimmy Crack Corn, and I do care.

That smells like vinegar, water, and dare I say... Now, don't say it, John. Vaginal oils. John? I'm sorry, but it is what it is. I didn't ask the Dushmobile to be in this parade, but it smells like vaginal oils down there. as if to encapsulate the reality of douche, douche, doosh-de-doosh-de-doch.

Well, John, I guess, you know, we have to call it what it is here at the Thanksgiving Day parade. And if part of douching is yeast and muffins and Danish pastries and, as you say, vagina juice, that's right, John. Then we must call it what it is. Okay, well, there they go. Oh, whoa, looks like a little child just got a loaf of French bread right in its throat. Oh, my God, that child opened its mouth to yell and cheer at one of those yeasty douche models through a full loaf of French loaf right in the child's throat, and he's choking. It sounds like you're choking a bit, John.

I am a little choked up. Well, we better get back to Get back to the studio. We're going to throw it back, and we'll be back for some more floats here at the Thanksgiving Day parade on the Harland Highway. It's not really working, John. Are you talking about the Doochmobile?

Not really working. Smells like a rotten lemon meringue pie. Was left out on the window lends too long, John. Oh, my God. Someone just got it looks. like some speckled pizza loaf. Oh my God, not really working, John. Okay, okay, are we back?

Okay, wow. Roger, what's going on with that first float? The DushMobile, are you serious? Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse.

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This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and a hundred percent free shipping code harland have fun don't throw your back out good lord these guys i don't know whatever but um let's let's examine the thanksgiving and when i say thanksgiving let's examine the word thanksgiving it's kind of an interesting word when you dissect it and pull it apart it's a holiday that starts with like uh kind of a a plight kind of word it's like thanks oh hey thanks okay see you later thanks uh sir your salad oh thanks madam your glass of burlow thanks it's it's a little bit odd isn't it thanks thank you thanks thanks a lot why isn't it called thanks a lot thanks a lot thanks

giving well i mean why isn't it called why isn't it called thanks a lot giving or thanks oh so much giving or thanks you're an angel giving i don't know and then it's giving at the end that's like an action so it's like giving what are you doing i'm giving somebody something do you mind what are you giving them a sexually transmitted disease do you mind it's weird so you got you got thanks Giving Thanks Giving

It's kind of weird Like Halloween Is like Halloween Christmas is Halloween Easter is Easter These are like kind of made up words Right Christmas Halloween

Easter But Thanksgiving is like Two words out of the common vocabulary That someone kind of mashed together thanks giving it's i don't know i find it a bit odd and why is it it seems like it's backwards did yoda come up with it shouldn't be giving thanks thanksgiving giving thanks no thanksgiving it is no i think it's should be giving thanks i disagree do i thanksgiving should be no yoda i think

It should be giving thanks because you're giving... What are you giving to someone? You're giving them thanks. But not clear should be that thanksgiving. It should, what not, it should be the Thanksgiving, it should. Okay, you know what? You are just completely ass backwards. Backwards ass, it is, I am.

Oh, God. Dog. What? you said you dog no i said god that's what said i no you said dog i said god no you said dog i said god correct i dog no shut up upshot you shout oh stop it anyways maybe it should be giving thanks day Thanksgiving is like turning it around It seems like if you really break it down In a grammar sort of way

Doesn't it seem a bit backwards I don't know Anyways it's just kind of a funny word And I realize, you know We do this Thanksgiving thing Giving thanks we must Oh God and I never really kind of examined that wacky word,

but it is what it is, and so happy giving thanks. Thanksgiving. Let's go back to the parade before I kick this little green football through the wall. All right, but yeah, patch them in, Raj. We're going back to the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day parade with John and John. Here we go. So I said to her, why don't you? suck the paint off the back of a John Deere tractor.

Okay, and we're back here at the Harland Highway. Thanksgiving Day parade. I'm John Walters. And I'm John starters. And we have our next float coming down the road right here, John. Well, it looks like, holy smoke. It looks like a big giant cauldron of something. Exactly, John.

It's Sally's succulent soup plantation, and she does a wonderful job down at 43rd in Maine. She has a wonderful restaurant where they sell delicious soups. I've got to say putting a 60-foot high cauldron of soup on wheels is at its surface level. Amusing and catchy on a practical level, John, could be a public. safety hazard. Well, now, what do you mean by that, John? Well, it looks like they've got a whole bunch of soup brewing in that giant container about the size of an Olympic swimming pool. Well, it is very large, John. And you can see the steam coming off that, off the top of the water there. It looks like it's bubbling. It looks like a thick chowder or a French

onion soup. Or maybe it's bean and bacon. John. I don't care. It's not really working, John. Well, now don't say that, John. It sounded like you were quite enthused about this Sally's succulent soup plantation float. I am. I love the smell of soup. I said it earlier. She does a fine job down in her shop, but putting a giant cauldron of boiling hot soup on wheels, all it takes is that float to roll over a nail or a spike, you've got a flat tire, and guess what, John? I think I know where you're going with this, John. I think you know where I am going with this, John.

That's what I said, John. And that's what I said right back, and I'm going to say something else right back. What's that, John? This float is not really working, John. Well, I'm not going to go with you down that road, John, because I think it's a wonderful float. Listen to the crowd cheering. They're very enthused.

The air seems like the soup, the smell of a nice corn chowder, has cleared out the smell of the douche that we had earlier. I'll give you that one, John. There's a nice corn chowder aroma in the air, and that sour lemon meringue pie, a vagina smell, is certainly wafted its way down the road. And that's a... Oh, wait a minute. Hold on.

What is it, John? Oh, it's just... Well, it's almost like I'm some kind of soothsayer, John. What are you talking about, John? Look at that. Oh, my goodness. It looks like the giant caldron of soup has run over something pointed. It looks like a railroad spike or something.

And the wheels popped out. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The whole, uh, the caldron of soup is lilting. It's lelting, and I'll go one step further. It's tilting. Oh, boy, John. Here comes the seafood chowder or whatever.

the Christ is in that thing. Oh my God, it's, oh, it's pouring down the main street. Oh, it's swept up about 75 people in the crowd there, John. Oh, they don't have a chance in hell. They might as well be niblets of corn floating down shit river in the corn chowder. My God, John, this is horrible. Oh, my God, it looks like the skin is boiling right off of their bones. Oh my God, their flesh is boiling.

They're getting twirled into the chowder. Look at them go. Thank God, we're way up here in the booth, John. Oh, my God. I think I just heard some bodies thumping against the pillars at the bottom. I felt them do, John. Right at the bottom. Oh, there's another one.

Oh, my God. Look at that body. It's skeletal. It's like piranhas ate the flesh off it. The four or five children and an old lady had their flesh boiled off by Sally's succulent soup plantation corn chowder. What a mother-christor of a fucknutter. I'm sorry, John.

You heard me. I have a right to get mad. This is a motherfucker of a crutched flucker. I think you said something else there, John. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day, what I'm really trying to say is, yes, John, this float is not really. Really working, John.

Well, it is a bit messy. There's still people floating away down the middle of the road. Fortunately, some of the soup has been captured by the sewer grate. But not enough. Bodies being stripped of their flesh. Children boiling in the corn chowder. Good crackle crunch. Fuckle nut, cruggleplunk.

Okay, John, I'm not sure what that meant. I don't either, but it's not really. working, John. All right, well, there it is. Sally Succulin soup plantation float. We better take it back into the studio for more with Harlan Williams on the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day podcast. Hey, Harlan, back to you.

What the hell's going on down there? Soup flowing down like a river? Is that what I'm hearing? Roger? Good Lord, are those guys okay? Oh, man. Oh, God. Well, let's switch gears to something a little more positive.

That sounds a little scary, but it is Thanksgiving, and I want to take a moment, as I do every year, to give thanks for things. First of all, can we all agree thank you for life? Thank you for every day that we get up and we can breathe in the air and hear the birds sing and laugh and cry and touch and make love and be angry and forgive and and play sports and go to movies and drive our cars and all the things that maybe we kind of forget about. We give thanks just for living, just for even standing in the middle of a field and not moving. you can uh you can just you can just live and be happy that you're alive and for those of you out there that sometimes maybe get depressed or you're not happy

inside take a moment take a moment and think about all the wonderful things in the world push away all your problems just for a minute if you can if you're if you're swimming in an ocean of problems and negativity and sadness. I want you to pretend you're underwater and all that stuff surrounding you, but for a second you swim to the surface and stick your head out into the air. And in that moment, I want you to think happy thoughts and try and look for the positive spin for all the things in life that may be upset you. And give thanks and know that every second of being alive is a gift

It's a gift. It's truly a gift to be alive every second and absorb whatever this world, this universe, this cosmos has to offer. Remember, folks, we are a tiny little dot floating in an endless sea of infinite blackness. If I can paint a picture that's a bigger scale, don't think about the mall, don't think about your city, don't think about going across the ocean to other countries. For a second, think of planet Earth as a little tiny speck in the darkest, blackest night that goes on forever.

And somehow we're here, and we exist and we function, albeit we're not perfect. There's chaos here often. But think and give thanks for all the wonderful things. A cheeseburger, some french fries, a chocolate milkshake. Who knows what? So there you go. I just wanted to say that, and I want you guys to know all you pavement pounders and all the people that listen to the show and all my fans and friends and family and all the people in my life.

I want to say thank you to you for being part of my life, for listening to the podcast, for allowing me to come into your world and entertain you and offer you thoughts and suggestions. ridiculousness, I appreciate that, because without you, I couldn't be having all this fun. I have all this fun on your backs, and I thank you. I thank you for listening, for supporting, for telling your friends, and I think, I just am thankful to be alive, and boy, life goes by fast, man, doesn't it? Look at your life. look back at your life right now just take a moment and look how fast it's all gone by we're here for such a blink of an eye there's so much we're going to miss but that's okay because there's

so much we can celebrate in what's happening right here and right now so give thanks everyone not to tell you what to do but think about it and if you can find it in your your heart to give thanks. Give thanks. Give thanks for all of it. And I sincerely give thanks. Thanks to all of you for being part of my life. And now I'm getting weepy. Thank you for the Kleenex for my thankful tears running down my thankful face. All right, let's get back to the final segment of the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade. I think we're kind of coming up on our last float here. And then we'll close it out.

So let's throw it back. Oh, my God. Thank you for that cough because that cough tells me I'm alive. Throw it back, Raj. And I want to give thanks to Roger. Raj, thank you, buddy. And there goes his middle finger. Okay.

Well, you know what? Thanks for your middle finger. and there goes his other middle finger. Okay, well, I don't care. I give thanks. Screw you. Let's throw it back. Rodge, take us back to the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Here we go, John and John. And then I said, why don't you go shove a giant pineapple straight up here? Okay, we are back here at the Harland Highway Thanksgiving, 79th annual Thanksgiving Day parade. I'm John Walder. and this is John Starters, and what a day we're having. We're down to our final float, John. Yes, and what a day it's been.

Just a wonderful parade. I dare to differ, John. We've had a horrible parade. We had the Doochmobile. We had vinegar and water, and then we had Sally's succulent soup bowl, and the people got boiled alive. Not really working, John. Well, you know, with every prey there's the good floats and the bad floats.

And this one's had all bad floats, John. Well, now we've still got one more, John. Let's remain optimistic. I'm sorry? Optimistic. Oh, well, okay, Mr. Happy Face. Well, here it comes now. Listen to the music.

here to you hear the drums Here we go John Oh boy look at this float coming around It's the Pocahontas float And what a treat Look at a foresty scene There's people standing in the forest There's turkeys

And it looks like Are you seeing what I'm seeing John I'm not sure It looks like there's men and women on the float and do you see what they're doing? Well, it is the Pocahontas float and it should be representative of Thanksgiving Day with the Indians and the Pilgrims. I think you're lying to yourself.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Well, John, if I'm calling it as it is, I think I am seeing what you're seen. What in the name of sweet holy matrimonies going on? there are people bent over in the doggy style position oh boy john well i'm going to tell it how it is that's what we're paid to do give colored commentary it looks to me and pardon my french ladies and gentlemen everyone on this float wow is having anal sex oh boy here we go anal intercourse on the pocahontas Wait a second. That doesn't say Pocahontas. Wait a minute. What does it say, John?

As that sign comes into view, that says, poke your highness. What? Polk your highness. Wait, what? No, now it's getting clear. Polk your anus. Oh, my God. It's the poke your anus float from...

Oh, and look at that. It's from the video sex shop down on 23rd and 9th. Oh, my God. What a disgrace. What has this preyed boiled down to when we've got Indians and pilgrims slamming each other up the rear end with their Thanksgiving Bratwurst? Oh my God, it's very, very graphic, John, and there are people bent over logs. And there's one where there's a turkey standing on the back of someone's head while they're getting a sausage calbasa sandwich. This is just unacceptable.

Look at the children pointing and scratching their heads wondering what in the name of John Jingle, Jinglemyers Smith is happening here. Oh, my God, it's just the squeaking and the grunting. Oh, it's horrible. The poke your highness. Oh, my God, poke your anus float from Charlie's sex shop down on 43rd and 9th. This is an aberration. whoever's responsible for letting them in the parade

should have their testicles slammed in the side door of a Dodge Prius. Wow, you know, John, for once I have to agree with you that this float is not really working. It's not really working, John. It's not really working. Now, John, let's talk about the organizers of the parade and as a triple-X-rated float like poke your anus goes by, we have to ask ourselves,

what is the screening process to get in the Harlan Highway Thanksgiving Day parade? John? John? Excuse me, John. Do you mind I'm watching people have anal sex live? John? I'm sorry. What did you say?

Well, I was asking if you can just hold off on the questions for a minute Well, I get the binoculars out here Because I really think it's important I get a close up look John now I don't think Oh my God look at that Wow Oh my God you know what maybe this Whoa this float might be working John

Now I don't think we should be condoning Poked your anus I think this is a family person parade. I think this is a time for children. And would you shut your fat, pus-filled fuckhole? I'm watching people get power slammed straight up the ass pipe. Now, John, this is really not family talk. Shut your sweet Jesus gobble-fest face. I'm watching people get their ass on on the poke your anus float. This might be one of the best floats I've ever seen, John. You know what, John? I think we better end the Thanksgiving. Shut it. I'm watching the

pokeranus. Wow, look at that one. Take it. There's a double penetration. Okay. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. You've been listening to the Harland Highway Thanksgiving Day Parade. I'm John Walters, and he's... John? John! When you shut your fat, grizzled, fat jiblet face, I'm watching poke your heinous right up the anus. Okay, good night, goodbye, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving from John and John here on the Harlan Highway

72nd Thanksgiving Day Parade. Could I get those binoculars for a second, John? Sure. Take a look at the couple right on. the edge yeah over the wheel at the back i mean that chick's really really taking it yeah oh man wow wow look at that this this float really is working john yeah oh man oh wow wow wow wow roger whoa whoa Cut away from them. Cut away, cut away, cut away, cut away.

Are you kidding me? I said cut away from them. They cut their feed. Are you kidding me? What in the name? What is going on here? The poled uranis? I know that we thought it was Pocahontas.

It was anything but. And I don't, don't laugh when I say but. we apologize here i apologize you know it did john and john said it right somewhere before they got lost in their sex starved spell of anal intercourse they said it right that's a family parade there's no place for a a sex shop an r-rated adult type store having a a a float a poke your anus float and in the Thanksgiving Day parade just unacceptable.

A million apologies, ladies and gentlemen, it won't happen again. I'm seriously wondering if we should have them even do the Christmas Day parade because this is whatever. Wow. Well, we're going to leave it there.

I don't know how we top that, ladies and gentlemen. Boy, oh boy. let me say it again happy thanksgiving to you and your families and your friends your loved ones uh happy happy thanksgiving embrace it enjoy it give thanks for all you have i always say be thankful for what you have never worry about what you don't have okay just be thankful for what you have things that have gone by, opportunities that you've missed, lottery numbers that you didn't pick, the promotion you didn't get, it's all in the past, it's all gone. Be thankful for what you have today.

And that's all I'm going to say about that. So let's end the show with our traditional Thanksgiving Turkey Day song, and we'll play the whole thing in its entirety. and we'll stop it right there. Before we split, I'd like to do a few little announcements here real quick. Don't forget next weekend, December 4th through December 7th. I will be at the Kansas City Improv, Kansas City, Missouri. And we're going to have fun in the following weekend.

My last show of the year, December 11th through the 13th in Indianapolis. And that is going to be a great one, too. So I hope you can get tickets. Go to Harlem Williams.com and purchase your tickets on the comedy tour link. Also, while you're there, we have the store up and running again. We've got all kinds of great stuff. The website has been totally redesigned.

Take a look. Join the YouTube subscription button for wacky videos. You can write me at harlough williams.com. If you want to leave me a message, you can email me at harloweems.com. You can phone me, leave a voicemail at 323-739-43330. 3-2-3-739-43330. The number is on the website if you want to check it out. Love hearing from you.

And check out all thingscom. ATC.com. a podcast network where you can also find my wacky podcast, all kinds of good stuff. So there you go. That's it. Happy Thanksgiving. Let's play the Thanksgiving turkey song and chicken. Chalmy, baby.

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