The Harland Highway - 637 - Poetry read, new technology, and 2015

Episode Date: January 5, 2015

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Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. It's the first podcast of 2015, and I'm already running like a little bit late. I'm sorry, it's been the holidays. There's been a lot of stuff catching up on and cleaning up and visiting. And it's just so I'm a little bit late tonight, today. But we're here. We're here. And what a show we have.

Oh, my God. We're going to be talking about, I'm going to be talking about some incredible new technology that you'll be able to buy this year in 2015. I'm very excited about it. I'm going to tell you how you can watch some footage of this new technology, describe it, get into it a little bit. We're also going to start the year off. We're going to get a little deep. We're going to do some poetry today on the show.

We're going to tap into your poetic side and do some poetry. I think it'll be refreshing and revitalizing and deep. I'm excited to do that with you today. It's kind of a serious show today And we're going to talk about getting you started in the new year With some good ambition, some good goals We're going to try and get you motivated To do some cool, fun things this year

And I'm going to push you a little bit on that front So we got the whole year in front of us It's going to be fun We're going to have a lot of laughs, a lot of characters, A lot of stories here on the Harland Highway Let's get ready to go Happy New Year, everybody. This is the Harland Highway.

You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan, funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming. Later. How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication.

He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime. The Harland Highway You're all going to experience intense, mental, physical, strength.

All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't that's be doing. I'll do it, I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy. You're new around here, ain't you? What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Well, welcome to the New Year.

happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, heaven's to Murgatroyd, even. I want to start the year with something beautiful. Is that a bad thing to do? Could anything be nicer than to kick off the year with something beautiful? I want you to go to a quiet place right now. I want you to step into the world of poetry. people reading poetry and I don't know I just thought this would be a kind of an intimate way to kick off the year something kind of touching and deep end I don't know I'll leave it I won't say too much about it I'll leave it up to your own interpretation

but for me personally I just find such beauty in these words because the words are colorful they're rich and they can take your mind in so many different directions as opposed to when you're just in a conversation like right now everything i've i've said has followed a certain fluid order so that you can comprehend it quite easy you don't have to go back and play back what i said go wait a minute what what was that how did he what what does he mean how no it's everything's like straightforward from a to be okay But with poetry, it takes you up and down and around and in and out. And it's like all these flavors going off in your mouth at one time.

And on top of the words that just sound mystical, it's also the tone and the inflection in the narrator's voice. There's a real sternness and a real, I don't know, powerful voice, yet soft voice behind these words. And so I thought I'd start up with something that I find beautiful. I hope you find it beautiful. Maybe not. Maybe you'll hate it.

I don't know. That's the beauty of art. And this is the beauty of humanity. This is the beauty of humans. How they can bring life and put layers and textures onto just about everything we do. you're making a hot rod or you're doing a play or you're reading a poem or you're doing a painting or you're singing or you're writing a paper for your school it's the layers it's the layers we put on things that make humans so fascinating so without further ado just go to a soft quiet

place there's no comedy here right now just go to a soft quiet place stop talking to people don't look around maybe even close your eyes this thing's about a minute and 15 seconds just close your eyes go into the darkness and start your new year off with a little beauty cold-hearted orb that rules the night removes the colors from our sight red is gray and yellow white, but we decide which is right and which is an illusion. Pin-prick holes in a colorless sky, let insipid figures of light pass by. The mighty light of 10,000 suns challenges infinity and is soon gone. Nighttime, to some, a brief interlude. To others, the fear of solitude. To others, the fear of solitude. Brave Helius, wake up your stees, bring the warmth of countryside. watch lights fade from every room

bed sitter people look back and lament another day's useless energy is spent impassioned lovers wrestle as one lonely man cries for love and has none new mother picks up and settles her son senior citizens wish they were young

tall-hearted orb rules the night, removes the colours from our sight, red is grey and yellow-white, but we decide which is right, and which is an illusion. Yeah. Did you, did you feel it? Did it move you? Cold-hearted orb that stirs the night, or whatever he said. I don't know. It's just if you want to go back and play it, it's one of those things I urge you to go back. I don't usually say rewind this podcast, because if you're smart, you'll get through it as quickly as you can and get free and clear of it. But I urge you to go back to the beginning.

of that little poem close your eyes and just focus concentrate on the words and the music and the sounds I don't know I think it's kind of magical

and my interpretation of the words I could go on at great lengths about it but why would I do that? It's art It's what your interpretation is But that's what I love about the piece There's so many offerings in it

There's so many twists and turns And deep things that come into the mind And that narrator The command in his voice just adds to it So, okay, there you go I thought I'd start the year off With something a little beautiful and nice I hope you liked it.

Now, just so you know, that piece comes from a, there's a band called the Moody Blues who were big in the 70s. And this was a segment from, I guess, one of their albums. I couldn't tell you which one. I don't know enough about them. I just know that that's from that band. I think the drummer is possibly doing the reading. But moving.

Thought-provoking. And I'll leave it right there. Go back and listen to it again. Quietly. Just close your eyes. Think about it. I can't believe it's not bother. Okay, okay.

Don't ruin it with Fabio. Thank you very much, Roger. Good night, Nelly Frittato. Good night, Nelly Fruit Roll-Ups Fratto. Um, hey, happy new year. I know I've said it already, but I'm just excited. We're kicking things off. It's a whole new thing.

It's a whole new deal. Another year of life has been given to us. Wow. That's big. Never underestimate the gift of life. Okay? I've said it before. Life speeds by in a flurry.

If there's things you want to do, things you want to achieve, don't put them off in the future. Start them now. Make this your year, my friends. Make this your year. I'm going to invite you to challenge yourselves. I want you to take three things, whether it's to travel to China, whether it's to build a model airplane, whether it's to take your girlfriend to the opera. Whatever it is, I don't know, but just to ensure that you hold yourself to the flame of your own wish list,

I would like you to take three things, write them down on a list. Don't make the list in your mind. Take a pen and paper out, which I know nobody knows what that is anymore because we all work on our computers. forget your computer grab a piece of paper and a pen or pencil if you don't know what they look like Google it they're long cylindrical pointy things

the writing instruments and paper FYI is flat rectangular smashed up pulp and bleached white and I want you to write three things that you want to do with this year

write them out I want to go to Sydney, Australia and stand on the giant bridge I want to go to Cuba and fish for a hammerhead shark I want to learn how to square dance

whatever it is write three of them down you might thank me later and put it on your fridge tape get your scotch tape it's probably in your accessories drawer next to the dusty pencil and pens you haven't used for 90 years. Tape it. Scotch tape it right on the fridge.

Not the freezer. Not the freezer! The fridge. The fridge you open every day and put it up at eye level. Don't put it down at the bottom. Rate it eye level. And I want you to cross those three things off as you go through the year. And think about things.

It can't be, I will go to 7-Eleven. I will go to sleep. I will watch TV. No, no, no, no. I want, these things should be exotic. Out of your wheelhouse. Things that add growth and expansion to your life. Things that make you expand your horizons.

I think that's important. And they don't have to be as big as crossing. to the other side of the world, but they can be. But even if you don't have the assets to kind of leave your general environment, find things within your environment that push you or change you or shake things up or offer you something different. I don't know what those things are. I'm just throwing it out there.

I think you'll dig it. I think you'll dig it. So there's the little 2015 change. challenge right at the beginning here. So there's no excuse. Oh, I'm sorry. You know, I didn't hear this podcast in time. Sorry. No, no, no, no. Do it. Do it now. Do it. You can do it right after you listen to this podcast. And one of them better not be, I will never listen to the Harlan Highway again. If you do that one, I will put on my list. I'm coming to your house and grinding a square of lasagna in your face okay so there you go a little a little motivational kick you in the ass talk

and uh let's see what happens i'd love to hear from you guys towards the end of the year if you fulfill your list if you cross everything else i'd love to hear like next november this november this december harland hello harland is this the harland highway yes it is guess what i did this year Blop, Blop, Blop, three things. Had I not listened to your podcast, I wouldn't have done them. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes.

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Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adameneve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy, or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So there you go. I know I'm going to do it. If I can do it, you can do it. And then I want to talk about, you know, as we move forward, as we go into the future,

when we come back after this little break, I want to talk about something very exciting that will be new in 2015 that I think is going to move the needle a little bit. in the world of technology and human communication and the way we do things. So we'll be right back after this little doodily doot-dut-dut-dub-bid-bid-bap-dit-dit-dottily-dudily-dut. At the heart of the watch is a custom-designed chip that integrates many subsystems into one remarkably compact module, which is then completely encapsulated to protect the electronics. It's essentially miniaturizing an entire computer system onto a single chip. Did you hear it?

Did you just hear that? Okay, what that is, Lurdies and Bertels Lurgens, is an excerpt. And there's a silent XPT in there. This was an excerpt. Difficult word to get out. This was an excerpt from a demo. video on the Apple.com website

for the new I-watch that is coming out in 2015. Now, before any of you go, well, I'm not an Apple person. What the hell? I don't want to hear this garbage. I'm not an Apple person. It doesn't matter.

This, in my mind, is a is a very cool, probably big step forward into the future, into humans dealing, interacting, connecting with technology, and each other. Okay, so first of all, go to Apple.com to the Apple homepage, and at the top you'll see a little menu that says iTunes and iPods and I this and I that,

and you'll see a little title and it says the watch or watch. And click on that link, okay? Click on the watch link, if you will, babe. It says store, Mac, iPhone, watch, iPad, iPod, iTunes, and support. So watch is right in the middle. and what you're going to do is open a little link, a little page, okay, and a picture of a watch, the new eyewatch will come up, and you'll see two headings.

One will say, watch the reveal film, and then the second heading will say, watch the Apple Watch film. And that's what you want to look at. Watch the Apple Watch film. Click on that link, and there's like a little, probably about a six, minute movie that Apple's put together. And very subtly, by the way, you know, you don't hear Apple touting the Apple Watch just yet, but they've sneakily put this little movie onto their page without really drawing

attention to it, and I just stumbled on it, and oh, my God, this eyewatch is going to blow your mind. Now, everyone's going, well, there's already, you know, watches out there that you can wear on your wrist and blah, blah, blah, blah, with the, with the, internet, you know, the phone and all that stuff. No, no, no, no. All those other watches, the Samsung's and the Androids, these were watches that went into fast production

because they knew they caught wind that Apple was going to put out a watch. And so they fast-lined these other watches, which are inferior. I've read up a lot about them. I've heard there's a lot of flaws. They're not stylistically very, appealing. They're not comfortable to wear on the wrist. Some of them are clunky. Some of them

the technology's hit and miss. So none of them are really, really that good from what I've been reading. Now, I haven't wore one, but I've read enough reviews that I'm going to believe them. But then you go on and you watch the Apple movie about the Apple Watch, and it's a mindblower. I mean, the sleekness, the sexiness, the look of this watch is incredible. The face of the watch is incredible, which, by the way, you can change and put pictures in and put Mickey Mouse on and all this stuff. It is so slick and futuristic looking while at the same time maintaining its design as a watch it's just

it's a mind-blower the integration the connectivity of the old and the new is like seamless but when you hear the narrator start talking about the technology

contained within this watch oh my God I am just super excited about it I think I think it could change the way we communicate because this is a watch that is going to have

all the elements of your cell phone right on your wrist. So now you don't have to hold a cell phone while you're grocery shopping. You don't have to hold a cell phone while you're driving, which you're not supposed to do anyways. You don't have to go,

where did I put my cell phone? You don't have to worry about leaving your cell phone. You don't have to worry about dropping your cell phone. You don't have to go people stealing your cell phone. It's all going to be right there on your wrist. And just some amazing features. I won't spoil the whole demo for you because you will be engrossed by this demo. It's like, oh, my God, you're almost watching it and go on this.

This probably isn't real. But this is a watch that it actually senses when you bring your wrist up towards your face. And it activates the face of the watch. So, in other words, when your arm's just dangling, your watch isn't using up battery life. But somehow it senses when you bring your wrist towards your. your face to view it, and it activates. It goes on. And as you heard from that little snippet that the technology inside, I mean, it's got your

apps, it's got your GPS, it's got your phone, it's got your photos, it's got your texting, it's got everything. And it's very, very fascinating, and it looks sleek, and there's like 20 different wristbands that are interchangeable. and oh my god you know i'm not doing it justice talking about it but after this podcast don't you dare cut away from this podcast go and watch this little video at apple dot com under the watch heading and whether you like apple or not i don't think you can walk away from watching it without being totally like holy smokes

I think you might be astounded and impressed. And people always get on Apple, they're like, well, you haven't put a product out since the iPad, man. Apple's losing it, dude. It's been three years since Apple released a new product. They've lost it. I'm going to go get a stick and a log and use that. Well, the reason Apple doesn't put stuff out willy-nilly

is because obviously when you look at this watch and you look at the engineering, And the technology in it, holy crap. You go, okay, these guys take their time and do it right. And that's why they're Apple, man. That's why Apple stands out from the rest of the pack, right there. Now, I want to play you another little piece from the demo. A little bit of a spoiler alert, but this is a piece that talks about how Apple,

and I think this is brilliant. This is beyond a gimmick. This is a great marketing device. This is a great, kind of a new thing we haven't seen in the robotic world of technology. Let me play you this clip. It has to do with connecting our humanity to the machine that we will ultimately be wearing

if we wear the watch. Listen to this. Glances let you swipe through information efficiently. And pressing the button below the digital crown instantly shows you friends you can contact in just seconds. And with digital touch, we've developed an entirely new way for you to connect intimately with others. You can get someone's attention with a gentle tap. You can send a quick sketch. Or you can even share something as personal as your own heartbeat.

These are subtle ways to communicate that technology often inhibits rather than enables. So true. So true. So when you watch the video, they've created this thing where you can, if you're wearing the eye watch and someone else is wearing the eye watch, you can hear and feel. each other's heartbeats and they even put a little a little like pumping heart like an animated pumping heart all soft and fuzzy and warm on the face of the watch so let's say you're a mother and your kids in afghanistan and he's doing a tour of duty or let's say you're boyfriend and girlfriend and you're separated by work or or school or whatever or let's say you've got a little kid um or anything to do with human emotion or family or or relationships imagine being able to actually you know go to sleep at night with your girlfriend's heartbeat right beside your face

on your watch or a mother with her sons or daughter's heartbeat as they're you know duking it out in the hills in Afghanistan I mean it's it's it's it's really creates a human touch to what's normally cold steel in technology. And I think it's a brilliant marketing thing, but also just a brilliant thing to connect humans and machines together. So anyways, watch this video. Hopefully you'll like it or be inspired by you might think it's crap. I don't know.

But I think, man, if it works, if it catches on, And these watches take off. That could be like the end of it for cell phones. Everything will just be right there on your wrist. And then the designs will begin to change. The apps will begin to, that will get developed will be new and different and exciting. And just, it's going to open a whole new world. And I'm wondering, I hope, I hope that the new Apple Watch does,

for watches and phones, what the Apple iPhone did for cell phones. Keep your eye on it. Take a look and see what you think. Some cool stuff, and I've used up most of the show on all this stuff. It's been kind of a more serious show. I don't know if that's a good way to start the year. We're talking about poetry and technology and heartbeats and, you know,

New Year's resolutions, but I think this is stuff. stuff we've got to get through. And I do apologize if it was a little on the serious side here. But hopefully stimulating nonetheless. And we'll get back to the wacky comedy fun stuff on the next show a little more. For sure, for sure, for sure. But let me make some quick announcements here. Let y'all know what I'm up to.

What is going on here? Let's see. Well, let's see. Today, Monday, I'm going to be taping the Adam Carolla podcast. And I think it will either air today, Monday, or air tomorrow Tuesday. So my buddy, Adam Carolla, is having me on as his first guest of the year. Fantastic. And yesterday I did Kevin Pollock's podcast.

Actually, his is like a video podcast. Had a great time with Kevin Pollock. Thank you, Kevin. Please check out Kevin Pollock's podcast on, I think you can actually watch it on YouTube. We had some great conversations and some good laughs. And then Thursday at 8 o'clock at night, sorry, at 10 o'clock at night, Thursday, January 8th. I will be at the improv on Melrose Boulevard in Hollywood, California. And then this Saturday, the 10th, oh yeah, big show in Corolla.

California, me and Court McCown and Sean Tweedley who are doing a Power Slam show at the M-15 Concert Hall and Grill. One night only at 8 o'clock. It's going to be a blast, man. It is going to be a blast. Right out there in Corona. Go to Harlan Williams.com and click on my stand-up tour schedule. Check the link and come have some fun with us.

great venue. And then January 16th and 17th, that's a Friday, Saturday. I will be at Flappers, Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California. That's going to be a blast. Great comedy club. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. And then January 22nd to the 24th, I'll be in Atlanta, Georgia at the Atlanta, improv. And then at the very end of January, January 30th and 31st, I will be in San Francisco

at Sketchfest, which is a huge sketch comedy festival. I'm going to be working at Cobbs Comedy Club. I'm going to be working at all these theaters. And, and, and we're going to be doing the very first live recording of the Harlan Highway in front of a theater audience. So if you're in San Fran and you want to come and watch the madness live. live, we're going to have guests, we're going to have a co-host, we're going to be talking to the crowd, it's going to be a blast. So please check out my website, harlo-Williams.com, and it will tell you the details for the theater show in San Francisco, and you can buy your tickets right at my website. I can't wait to do that. That is something. See, there's my bucket list,

my 2015 bucket list, something brand new that I've never done, a little scary, A little out of my element Doing my podcast In front of a live crowd Never done it So it's going to be a blast Check out my crazy app Filopio if you own an Android

It's been banned from Apple So if you have an Android Get the Filopio app It's a great game If you like shooting sperm While you're in a fallopian tube With a laser cannon You've got to get Filopio

Go to the website, you can track it down at harlow williams.com. If you want to write to me, you can write to me at the contact page on harloweems. If you want to call me, you can leave me a voicemail. The numbers on the website, 323-739-43-43-43-3-3-3-3. We might play your message on the show. And please join my YouTube channel. There's a subscription button on my website.

Just click it for free. And trust me, when I tell you, I'm going to start putting up a lot of interesting, wacky videos this year, and you are going to get them. No charge, no gimmick. Hopefully they just make you laugh and chuckle. And I'll tell you more about those as we go along here this year. But if you don't click on the free button, the YouTube subscription button, you're going to miss out on the phone player.

So that's it. That's all I got. Once again, folks, it's the first Monday. of the new year, 2015. Happy, happy new year. Make it a good one. Let's have some laughs. Thank you for being here again.

All you pavement pounders and everybody listening out there. God bless you. And happy 2015. And until next time, chicken. Shaoamain, baby? Cold-hearted orb that rules the night. Removes the colors from our sight. Red is grey and yellow white, but we decide which is right, and which is an illusion.