The Harland Highway - 638 - Harland is a LOSER. Lizard beatings, and MICHAEL JACKSON stops by.

Episode Date: January 8, 2015

The year just started and already Harland is a LOSER. Taking a reptile beating. Phone calls from the Pounders. And, Michael Jackson stops by and it's nothing short of special. Skunk a lunk!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, hello, ladies and gentlemen. Just a good old-fashioned straight up. Hello. Hello to you. Hello. Okay, that was kind of awkward. Welcome to the Harlan Highway. I am he, Harlan Williams, your host, your MC, your waitress, whatever you want.

Welcome to the show. Happy New Year, everybody. I still am in line saying that. You know, I kind of say the first two, three weeks. You're still allowed to say it. Great show today. We're going to be discussing finding out that early in the year, I am a loser. I'm a giant loser.

Way do you hear why I'm a giant loser. Also, we got a crazy, crazy news story for you today. Somebody was beaten, physically beaten, and I'm not going to tell you how. You're going to have to listen. But it's pretty bizarre. also we're going to be taking some of your phone calls some of your wonderful phone calls we're going to be listening to those

and also I've heard a rumor that Michael Jackson has been seen walking around in the building somewhere boy oh boy I hope not because that freak always seems to wander right into my podcast studio and I never know what to do with the guy so let's get it gone here we go this is the Harlan Highway

You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan. Funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming. Later. How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn.

On to the Harland Highway. You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime. The Harland Highway. You're all going to experience in 10. Mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't be doing. I'll do it. I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy.

You're never around here, ain't you? What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh, hello, everybody. How are you today? Welcome to the Harland Highway, everybody. Wow, annoying. Before I get going, I want to mention, I usually save my announcements till the end of the show.

But this one's a good one. I want to make sure people living out in Corona, California, or in California in general, or anywhere on the planet. Don't forget this Saturday, January 10th, Yours truly will be at the M-15 concert hall and grill in Corona, California. We want to get people out there because it's a great venue. We're going to be doing a stand-up and sketch comedy show. And you can get all the details at Harlem Williams.com.

Just click on my stand-up tour schedule, and you can see and buy tickets and all that stuff there. So I wanted to get that out of the way, rate out of it away. read at it away we got dad at it away and I want to readdress something that I had talked about in a podcast last year seems so weird to say that last year it's like what's today

it's it's January what the 8th and I'm saying last year already God Last year, I did a podcast where I told you I entered a raffle. I got raffle fever at a mall, and I entered a raffle for a Ferrari 458 Spider valued at $377,000, okay, $377,000. thousand dollars what is wrong with me today man um so far i haven't heard the draw was january fourth

and here we are on let's see what is today today is today i just said it what is wrong with me today is the eighth um so i'm four days beyond the draw and i haven't heard from the good folks at the mall about my raffle win so I guess I'm just going to have to keep puttering along in my Ford focus I'm not going to throw the tickets out yet who

knows how long maybe I should phone them maybe should we phone them and find out about let's do it we phoned last time here we go let's phone the raffle line and see if they found a winner

oh my God so excited, so excited. Here we go. Ready? Okay, one. You got to dial that one for some reason. Here it comes. Hold for it. Okay, let's see what happens. Thank you for calling the info line for the Universal Educational Institute of Canada Raffles. We would like to thank everyone for their continued support for the Universal Educational Institute of Canada and the Canadian Digest of Health Foundation. We are pleased to announce the winning ticket number 0255 for the 2013 Ferrari 458 fighter valued at $377,000.

The winning ticket number 0,02555. The draw was held here at West Emmettimal in January 4th at 515 p.m. Our winner from Red Deer has already come and claimed the Ferrari. No! We're excited to announce that we will have a new raffle starting in the near future for a white Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4. No! The car has an estimated value of $433,000.

Again, we thank you for your support, and we look forward to seeing you at our raffle booths in West Edmonton Mall. Oh, boo! Boo. Darn it. And not only that, I'm looking at my tickets here. 50222 or whatever the number is. I mean, I'm looking at my tickets here.

This is for real, okay? I got ticket numbers 148242. 243, 244, 245, 241, 240, 246, and 239. I don't even have most of those numbers they announced. Like, you know, when you get a lottery ticket and you, you know, out of the 10 numbers, you usually have, oh, God, getting emotional. You usually have one or two numbers. I don't think I have any.

What the hell? The winning ticket number, 0-0-2-55-5-5. Yeah, I got it. I got it, Roger. You don't have to keep playing it. I'm a loser. Wow, look at this. How does this make me feel, gang?

We are eight days into a new year, and I'm a loser. It turns out I was a loser four days ago. It turns out I lost on... On January 4th, I was a loser for four extra days and didn't even know it. Boy, oh, boy, not a cheery start to 2015 for this guy. And I'm holding these tickets here. You can hear them. I'm raffling, I'm ruffling the rafflesings.

I'm ruffling the raffle tickets. That's kind of fun to say. At least I win with word smithing. I'm ruffling the raffling. And on the front of the tickets, it says win, and then three exclamation marks. Win, three more exclamation marks. Win again, three more exclamation marks.

Win, win, win. Well, how about lose, lose, loser. Man, you are one pathetic loser. A loser. Okay. Yeah. Okay, Roger. Ha, ha, I get it.

Loser, loser, loser, loser, looser. Roger. Roger! Would you knock it off? Good Lord. Yes, I'm a loser. Great. I got the whole rest of the year to be a loser.

Wow. Thanks, Raffle. Unbelievable. Good night, Nelly for talk. Okay, okay, speaking of losers Let's listen to this crazy news story because this guy is a real loser Check this out The Harland Highway

Crazy news story That's weird That's strange stuff Okay, how many of you have ever been beaten with a bearded lizard. And that doesn't apply to you, those of you in the S&M world. People who are into the S&M world, you don't get to answer that question. How many of you have been beaten with a bearded lizard?

Because you guys are probably thinking something else. Listen to this story, and then we'll come back around the other side and deal with this moron. New Ed Six, a story you don't hear every day. a reptile shop owner, arrested for allegedly abusing a bearded dragon. Yeah, Team 6 reporter, Steve Litz, the disturbing details. Ben Siegel's reptile store sells frogs and spiders and other exotic animals. It's pretty popular for people who own reptiles in this part of the region. Well, tonight, the owner of the store is accused of abusing one of those creatures.

On Friday, inside his store on Hillsborough Boulevard, police say Seagull. put a bearded dragon in his mouth, tormented it, and also this. Throwing the animal up in the air, swinging the animal in the air multiple times, the defendant's serving the victims with the bearded dragon multiple times. Seagull's store was in the news back in 2012 when he hosted a cockroach eating contest with the winner, Edward Archbold choking to death, according to investigators. Martin Vasquez bought these worms today to feed his bearded dragon He's been a regular customer for years and he knows Siegel

Yeah, it doesn't sound like him to me I would have to see it I wouldn't believe it like somebody came out to me and told me that Tonight Siegel faces several criminal charges Including battery for allegedly smacking people with the bearded dragon Okay, what is this world coming to Smacking people with your bearded dragon I mean, what the hell?

Okay, I need you to step away. Okay, step away. I'm gonna, don't, don't you put down that bearded dragon? I'm, step away from me. You just move away from me. Put down that bearded dragon. Don't, oh, did you just slap me with your bearded dragon? Don't you slap me with your, oh.

Oh, did you, did you just slap me again with that bearded dragon of yours? Oh, that's four. That's number four. I dare you to slap me with that bearded dragon just one more time. I dare you to step over. Ow! Oh my God, that bearded dragon of yours sure leaves a rash. You know what I'm starting to like it.

Could you slap me with your bearded dragon again and again and again? Oh! Give me that bearded dragon. dragon all over my body what the hell oh my god what is wrong with people man first he puts it in his mouth you know because you you want to you want to taste your bearded dragon you're best off if you lick your bearded dragon before you start throwing it around then the guy's twirling it in the air then he's throwing his bearded dragon at people guys did you know that someone can throw their bearded dragon at you?

Holy God! You better watch out next time you get in a fight with the old girlfriend. Who knew she had a ninja star between her legs? You're going where? Oh, no, you're not. Ah! Right in the back with the bearded dragon. Wow.

I mean, what do you tell your friends? What the hell do you tell your friends? Hey, Dave, what's that laceration across your face, man? Looks like you got a big cut across your whole face. Um, I got in a fight? No way, man, what happened? Like in a bar brawl? Um, no, man, like, uh, uh, tell us, Dave, what happened?

Um, okay, someone slapped me in the face with their bearded dragon? Uh-huh. I mean, come on. And this guy owns the pet store, man. Show a little love to your critters. You don't want to return anything to that friggin' pet shop. Yes, I'd like to return this gerbil. How dare you?

Ow! What was that? That was a bearded dragon. Now get the hell out of my store. Before I slap you with a... I don't know, a chinchilla or something. I'll take the bearded dragon again, please. Ow!

Smacking people with the bearded dragon. Um, and then did you hear the part about this guy who owns the pet shop? First of all, he's selling spiders and lizards and slugs and snakes. I don't know. Weird way to make a living. Not only to, you know, who's the guy? that wakes up in the morning and goes, well, better go sell some spiders today. I got a brand new truckload of sea slugs in.

I got on load, and those new 2015 tarantulas will be coming in today. Got to go sell those puppies. Got a whole new boxload of bearded dragons. I better get out in the parking lot and kick some ass. And then there's the people that buy this stuff Yeah, listen, my dog died I'd like to buy a bullfrog please Why'd you hit me with the bearded dragon

Because we're all out of bullfrogs Um Just kind of weird Hey everybody Who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes The answer is yes You always want to have better sex

That's what you want it to be better sex not worse, trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, I will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com.

This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So anyways, this guy who owns the pet shop, he had a cockroach eating contest. Can you believe this and people showed up to do it and a guy chokes to death? I think if you're eating cockroaches, you deserve to choke to death.

I'm sorry, to the family, to the friends. You're a train that's derailed. Eating cockroach, you know how dirty those things are? Why don't you just go sucking Ebola scab down at the Center for Disease Control? Hi, excuse me, yes. Is there anyone here with open Ebola sores? fourth floor? Okay, I'm going to go up and suck on them. Do you have any tequila salt and a lemon wedge? I'd like to squirt that on the open Ebola sore before I suck on it. And if there's

any cockroaches in the building, don't worry, I've got those covered. I mean, good Lord, man. What is wrong with people? That guy's gravestone? Here lies David Smith. choked on cockroaches. I mean, that'd be the only grave in the cemetery with no bugs in near it. Nothing's going to go into his coffin and eat them all up. That guy's going to be a perfect mummy. It'll be like a perfect one. They dig his bones up in 7,000 years.

It'll look like he just died that same day. The bugs won't even eat that guy. I'm not going near that guy. That guy eats cockroaches, man. Can you imagine the worms and the beetles? Don't go near that guy. He'll eat you, man. He's a cockroach eater.

He's got the world record. Either that or this guy that owns the pet shop, it was brilliant. He probably had like a cockroach infestation. He called Orkin or one of these, you know, exterminator plays. Yeah, we'll come clean your cockroaches out. That'll be $2,000.

Screw it. I'm going to have a cockroach eating contest. Yeah. That's like a freebie right there. So anyways, gang, there's your wacky story for the day. You know, in this violent world we live in, if you don't quite feel comfortable with a gun, or if you have a gun and you don't want to carry your gun,

you don't have a carry permit, do yourself a favor. Get a bearded dragon. And if anyone tries to mess with you, you just warn them in advance. Do you step away or I'm going to slap you with my bearded dragon? Man, you are one pathetic loser. Loser, loser, loser.

Okay, Roger, Roger, stop it. Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser. Stop it, Roger, I don't want to hear that in. What is, what is that? Who is, who are you letting in here? Oh my God. Hi. What? Oh, my God. What are you doing here? I just thought I'd come and say, hi. It's a brand new year. And I thought it was special.

Oh, God. Why did you let Michael Jackson in here, Roger? Hi. Hi. It's a brand new year. That's why you're here, because it's a brand new year. It's not just any year. It's not just any year, huh, Michael? Oh, it's a special year. It's a special year.

Okay, thank you, get out. I thought I'd stick around for a while and celebrate the new year because it's special. Okay, why? Okay, I'm going to hold you to the fire. I wish you wouldn't after my Pepsi commercial. I'm not, I don't like it. Okay, I don't mean I'm going to hold you to the fire. Why is this year's?

special. Because 2015. Okay, 2015. Whoopi-doo. So that's four numbers. What? That's four numbers. Two, zero.

Yeah. One five. Twenty-fifteen. Special. It's not special. Why is it special? Because there's four letters in the word special.

Four letters in the word special Yeah Four letters in the word special There's not four letters in the word special As a matter of fact, Jacko There's seven letters in the word special Okay But if you subtract three

There's only four And that's special Okay, I need you to get out real fast moonwalk your ass out the door and down the hall and do not come back here for the whole rest of the special 2015 year oh i just heard you said it say what special stop saying special okay why everything's not special you're dead how is that special in a dead way it's special in a Deadway. It's special in a dead way.

Get out of here. Special. Get out. It's real special. Stop saying special. Get out of my arm. Roger, get him out. Moonwalk out of here.

Okay, well, happy 2015. I hope it's special. Stop it. Get out. There he goes. Good. Close the door. Shut the music off, Roger.

God. Can we not ever have that guy? I've told you not to let him in here. Okay, everything he talks about, everything's special. He could get run over by a dump truck, and it would be special. He could have the worst things in the world happen, and it would be special. I told him to moonwalk and fall down the stairs. He'd think it was special that guy right there.

What do you want? I just fell down the stairs, and it was special. Oh, get out of here! God, smash your face into the door on the way out. Okay, will that be special? Because I want it to be special. I want to smash my face in the door, special. Get out!

Hello? Hello? Harlan, Rich. Hope you had a good new year. I'm not. I can't find your podcast on Buzz Sprouting. anymore. Are you not hosting them on Buzz Sprout anymore? I only have up to 635, and I'd rather not be beholden to iTunes. You know, it used to be great just downloading the MP3 and listen to it at my leisure

on whatever device I wanted. And I don't know how I'm going to hear this if you're not on Buzzsprout. I don't think you'll look into that. I'd appreciate it. Thanks, and I'll try listening somehow. Probably through your page. Bye. Well, don't say bye. We are going through some technical upgrades here at the Harland Highway. So for those of you that did catch the show on a system called Buzzsprout, I did put a little message on that platform that told you how you can upgrade to get everything you need.

on on on on the new uh platform so uh if you're having problems and you shouldn't be now everything's kind of leveling out um just go to my uh website harlem williams dot com and go on the podcast page and you will see a a little uh little icon where it says you can download this podcast for free it's a little icon where it looks like radio waves being transmissible into space. It's a little square, an orange square with pulsing sound waves on it, and that is the new feed. You can download that and you'll be hooked in, or you can, we have a link for Stitcher, we have a link for iTunes, we have a link for SoundCloud. There's all kinds of links. So, you know, get over there, and then my technicians inform me, too, if for some reason you're

having any difficulty to unsubscribe to the podcast on iTunes, on iTunes only, and then re-subscribe, and that should filter out any type of glitches if you are having any. And it might even help if you're having trouble seeing some of the backlogged episodes, try rebooting your iTunes and see what happens. but so yeah we're working to upgrade the system that the cool thing about our new platform is that it involves a player so now uh whenever i download the show and it shows up on twitter or facebook or uh even on my web page it automatically uploads a player so you don't have to like go searching for a link you can just hit the play button and listen to the show um so uh this year we're just trying to um

modernize and uh you know keep all the technology up to snuff and uh you know just make sure that everything's really special for you when you listen to the show and uh have a real hold on hi oh god hi what are you doing back here idiot i heard you say special what i heard you say upgrade the show yes and have a special experience okay out out out right now i can't go now i'm feeling special about your special no no i don't i want everyone to have a special experience except for you a what experience what you said you want everyone to have an experience of what kind i said i want them to to have a special experience.

He, he, he, he, he, what are you giggling about? You said, special. And that's special to me. He, he, he. Get out of here, Jacko. Out. God. Roger.

Now, if I may continue with another phone call, God. Hello? Hello? Hey, Harland. It was great here in Late Lament by the Moody Blues. It reminds me of when I was a high schooler, just like you, I went to an all-boys boarding school, and I had that poem hanging up.

As soon as I heard the beginning, I knew exactly what the poem was. I could recite it by memory. It brings back great memories. Thanks so much. It's what I love about your podcast. It's funny sometimes. It's poignant sometimes.

times. God, it makes me laugh most of the time. And I really appreciate what you do. Keep it up, baby. Well, thank you very much, kind sir. I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad you liked that poetry, man. Me and you are on the same page with that poetry. You know, with the stuff I played, it's not just the words which are very, I don't know what the word is. They're just very immersive is that does that sound like the right word because i just find i get immersed in those words and it's it's not just the words but it's the the way they're delivered the passion and then the uh the the acting in the guy's voice is uh quite spectacular to me so hey thanks for your kind kind comments i'm glad you like what we're doing here at the

harland highway and uh you know the biggest favorite you you can do is let your friends know so they can enjoy all this wacky and crazy and sometimes serious stuff that we do here thank you hey all and just want to follow up on some comments a rant really made on the crying and laughing podcast number 635 i google those commercials you were talking about the no more speechless ads played during football games these are actually outtakes completely unplanned and unscripted the actors and athletes in these ads were genuinely overcome with the emotional content during the filming of these ads and had to pause together themselves. So the cameras kept rolling, so they kept, this is what they captured.

So I sent you a message to our website at gmail.com and with the link to the article that's talking about these things. Okay. Hey, buddy, I love the podcast. And now for a big steaming bowl of chicken shall make me fun, baby. Bye. Okay, okay. I hear you. Thank you for that update on my rant about the crime where I accused the people in that ad of being insincere and being, you know, acting and putting it on for the camera. And, you know, excuse me for being pessimistic about it.

but I'm going to stand by what I said if they were genuinely moved and started crying and were overwhelmed by the public service announcements they were doing then God bless them if it was real but I'm still a little suspicious because it turns out the whole public service announcement is mostly them crying

So that makes me wonder, well, what happened to all the dialogue that was the core, the content of the public service announcement? And don't you find it a bit suspicious that everyone they used broke down and cried, all of them? And not only did they break down and cry, but they stared into the camera and cried, and some of them kind of mugged and, And again, I'm not knocking the cause. God bless anyone for, you know, advocating against violence, against women or against anybody. I appreciate their efforts. I appreciate the cause. But, you know, I'm an actor.

I've been on the set of, you know, I've done three sitcoms. I've done 45 movies. I've done blah, blah, blah. I've been on the sets I kind of get the scenario I've seen actors at work firsthand and I've seen producers

and directors and everybody and something just reeks of this is very, very staging and I almost picture someone going into the green room before these actors go out and say hey listen, listen gang so we're going to do

these public service announcements it's violence against women and we're going to put the dialogue up on prompters so just read the prompters and you know if you just happen to some for some reason whatever it's not like we're looking for it

but if you happen to get so overcome with grief and emotion and you start crying emphasis on crying we you know We don't oppose that. In fact, that might just be the only material that makes it into the finished product, if you know what I mean.

So, you know, just be yourself, do what you do, and if for some reason you start crying. You know, is it okay if we use it if you're crying? I don't know, man. I've been around it. It just, I'm sure someone sat down and said, let's do a campaign against violence and let's get celebrities crying. I don't think they sat down and let's sit down and get a bunch of celebrities reading off a prompter in black and white and, you know, condemning violence against women.

Because that's been done. That's boring. I'm pretty sure, you know, Hillary Swank won two awesome. is based on her crying. I've told you before. A lot of actors think that acting is crying. And when it's warranted, it's great. But one thing I've learned about Hillary Swank,

if you go back and look at all her movies, I guarantee you're going to see a big, big crying scene or the watering of the eyes. She can turn it on like a light switch. Good actors can do that. I think I've told this story before. I was with Jim Carrey once. We were in his hotel room.

Excuse me. I'm about to cry. I'm getting overwhelmed. And we were doing a show together, and after the show, we went to his hotel room. We were sitting there eating room service. Me and him at the table alone. And we're just talking, laughing, or eating cheesecake for dessert. And all of a sudden, Jim says to me, he goes,

You know, Harlan, I can cry. on command. I'm going to go, what are you talking about, dude? He turns his head for about three, four seconds, turns back and he's crying real tears. Real tears, and I'm like,

holy God. But good actors can tap into this, and, uh, you know, so I don't know. I don't want to blast. I don't want to blast the message. But maybe I'm blasted a bit.

You know, there's a bit of, pretentious phoniness mixed in with it that kind of bothers me a bit because it's a tough sensitive topic, the violence against women and violence against anyone and last thing I need

is it to kind of feel like someone's doing a you know a show on Broadway surrounded by that you know so anyways who knows I don't know the real answer those are my thoughts and I'm going to leave it right there.

You can cry if you want to. And speaking of crying, oh my God, we're at the end of the show. And I hope you're all crying because at the end of the show, it means there's nothing left. Stop it. Let's do some announcements, though. We still have those, which are fun. I hope you pay attention to them.

because they're to your benefit, you get to figure out where I am and you can come and see me and have some laughs. And it's a big one this Saturday. If you're in the L.A. area or San Diego area, or anywhere on the planet, come to Corona, California. One night only, Saturday, January 10th. I will be at the M-16 Concert Hall and Grill. This is a great, great venue

We're going to be doing me and two other comedians Cort McCau and Sean Tweedley We're going to be doing a stand-up show And it's going to be great Two great comics Then myself And then after the stand-up portion is over I'm going to come back out with Sean

And we're going to do some sketch comedy for you Some Whose Line Is It Anyway type of stuff And it's kind of like a double show So this is going to be a good show You don't want to miss it. Get tickets at Harlan Williams.com. Just click on my stand-up comedy tour page, and you'll see it there. Also, the following weekend, January 16th and 17th, I'll be in Burbank, California, at Flappers Comedy Club.

Same thing, tickets at Harlowil Williams.com. And then the following weekend, boy, this month's getting busy for me. Atlanta, Georgia, the improv. January 22nd to the 24th, same thing, tickets at Harlow Williams.com, and in the last weekend of January, this is exciting, January 30 to 31st. I will be in San Francisco. I'll be doing a thing called Sketch Fest, where we're going to be doing sketch comedy, stand-up comedy.

We're moving around all over town to different venues. But one of the really cool things is we are going to be recorded, the Harland Highway podcast live in front of an audience at a beautiful theater in San Francisco. I've never done it before. I'm a little bit nervous, but I don't care. I think walking into the fire is good for you. And, you know, if you're in the area, please come down. Bring your friends.

I'm going to try and get the audience involved in the show. We're going to have guests. I'm going to have a co-host. Oh, I don't know how it's going to go, but it is going to be fun. So please go to harloweems.com. Click on the stand-up comedy tour link, and you can get your tickets and all that stuff right there. Please, please, please come out. Let's have some fun.

Also check out the store while you're there, harlewilms.com store. We have books. We have artwork. We have DVDs. CDs, new digital downloads, which I've never had before. You can download Crowd Control 3, which is my new album. Just me going at it with crowds and comedy clubs. Hecklers, Drunks, Wack Jobs.

The whole album is just in the moment improv dealing with human beings. And it's a lot of fun. I think you'll appreciate that one. It's only $1.99. and I think it's like an hour long. So check that out. What else? You can write me at harlornwilliams.com, of course.

If you want to write me an email and we're going to do the listener mailbag any day now here because I've got some letters stacked up. So we've got to read those. You can leave me a voicemail as our previous callers did. That number 323739-4-330. And that number is also on the website. You can see it if for some reason you can't remember it here.

And also join my YouTube channel. It's a free button, subscribe to it. I just posted a brand new video. It's called Brattie Kids. It's a minute long. And you're either going to love it or hate it. It's obnoxious. It's weird.

I'm not even going to tell you what it is. You have to go to my YouTube channel to get it. Or you can go to my website. put it right on the home page and you can watch it there and be repulsed or laugh your ass off. I don't know. It's all in good fun, damn it. So there you go. That's it, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you for being here. Have a great, great, great weekend and tell your friends about the show. Get them on the highway. And until next time, everybody, chicken chalmayne, baby. And you are one pathetic loser. Special. Loser. Special.

Loser. Loser. Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser. Special, special, special, special, special, special, special, special, special, special, special. Thank you.