The Harland Highway - 644 - Are you a GAS freak? Making choices.

Episode Date: January 29, 2015

Letters from Pavement Pounders. Question of the day. And, making choices in life! Pull your pill!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, my friends. Welcome to Mexican Radio. No, no, it's not Mexican radio. It's Harlan Williams, and you are listening to the Harland Highway podcast. Sorry, we're running a little late today, gang. I had to do some traveling, flying around the country, working. And so we're getting to you a little bit late. But nonetheless, we're going to have a good time.

We're going to be taking some letters today from the pavement pounders. We are, I'm going to be giving you news about my live podcast in San Francisco this weekend. We're going to be talking about the Harlan Highway question of the day. We're going to be talking about something that probably friends of yours do with their cars that will drive you nuts. Okay? I think we've all met this person, this friend, and something they do with their car. will drive you nuts. That's the question of the day.

Well, that's kind of the topic. That's kind of the sentiment. That's kind of the va... Just listen to it. The question of the day coming up. Also, we're going to talk about choices. What kind of choices as a consumer, as a voter, as a person that goes out to eat?

What kind of choices do you make? We're going to find out right here on the Harland. Highway You're listening to Harlan Williams Harlan, funny stuff, bro funny stuff. Keep it coming, later. How long have you had this job?

Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime.

The Harland Highway. to experience intense, mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't that be doing. I'll do what, I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy. You're never around here, ain't you? What's your name?

You're listening to Harlan Williams. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Right. Saaroni, the San Francisco tree. Too much? Too much? Too soon? Too soon? Too much? No. Is it? Wait. Too soon? No. Too much. Too much? Too soon. Okay. Good. Good. We got it. Okay. We got it. Thank you very much. Yeah. Yeah. Well, welcome to the show. And as you, as you heard, I started, off with the San Francisco treat, Lurtles and Snurdle Flurdens,

because I am going to be in San Francisco tomorrow, and I'm like encouraging all of you to come join me. I'm going to be doing some stand-up comedy, going to be doing some sketch comedy at an event called Sketch Fest, and more than anything else, guess what, we are going to be doing the Harland Highway

live in front of a theater audience. We're going to be recording in front of real people, something I've never done before. We're into like 600 episodes. And wait a minute, what episode is this? Let's see. This is 644 episodes. And I've never, ever done it in front of people.

It's always been in my private little bat cave on the 12th floor of our building in my dark studio with Roger watching me. Why am I talking like chimney glick? I don't know. So this is going to be an adventure, man. If you're in San Francisco, please come out. It's going to be on Saturday, this Saturday. at 4 p.m. in the afternoon, so you'll be home in time for dinner, which is good because you'll eat after the podcast

instead of before where you might throw up after watching me do the podcast. So to eat after the podcast is a really smart and safe move. It'll be San Francisco, California. We're part of SketchFest, which is a huge sketch comedy festival up there. It's been going on for two weeks. This is the last weekend. I'm going to be at the Eureka Theater 4 p.m. Saturday, January 31st. It's going to be me and my co-host, Sean Tweedley,

a very funny comedian friend of mine who's been on the podcast before. And we're going to be having fun and we're going to be talking about stuff and I'm going to interact with the audience. If you're there, I might tap you to say something or who knows what's going to happen. Well, I'll tell you what, that's going to happen, okay? I'm going to get people up out of the crowd to sing that song, because we're in San Francisco. How could I not have some pavement pounders?

I'm so excited. I'm so excited to meet some of you pavement pounders, all three of you that listen to the show, face-to-face. This is going to be a treat. It's going to be fun. If you're in San Francisco or you're traveling through, you're nearby, come out to the show. And I think I've heard rumors that Mr. Featherstone might be there. I've heard rumors that Aunt Ruthie might be there.

I mean, good Lord. Just to see Aunt Ruthie and Mr. Featherstone is worth the price alone, isn't it? But I might have you sing the Ricerone song. I might interview you. Who knows what I might have you doing. But I will be playing that song on the podcast. So very excited. My goodness.

So one last time, it will be at the Eureka Theater. Just think, Eureka! I found gold! And when I say gold, I mean my podcast. This Saturday, 4 p.m. You can get tickets at my website. Just go to the stand-up tour link, and you'll see a buy-now banner on the stand-up tour site. And then if you don't want to see the podcast, I will be doing stand-up comedy and sketch comedy on Friday night.

Tomorrow at 7.30 at the Brava Theater. A great theater. It's going to be a blast. the Brava Theater. So my co-host, Sean Tweedley, will be doing some opening comedy, and then I'm going to do some stand-up comedy, and then we're going to come back out on stage and do sketch comedy together. And it's going to be just a cool beauty show.

So Friday night is the stand-up sketch comedy at the Brava Theater, 7.30 p.m. and then Saturday, 4 p.m. in the afternoon. The Harland Highway Podcast, live. Oh, my good. Oh, my good. Oh, my God. I hope it's, hope it's, oh, my good.

So I'm a little nervous. I'm a little, you know, a little, little, little fidgety, a little on edge. But, you know what? Gotta power through it. So hopefully we have some of you there. I can't wait to see you in San Francisco. Now, let's move on to the Harland Highway question of the day. The Harland Highway Question of the Day.

Okay, why, why, and this is a big question. And I hope you're not one of these people. But why are there people that in your life offer to come and pick you up or take you somewhere or drive you to the airport or, you know, you've got to be somewhere, you're going to a movie or you're going on a little trip or wherever you're going and it's it's a particular type of person it's it's very aggravating and and it's not something that happened once it's a pattern and i think all of us know one of these people they pick you up in their vehicle they know you're going somewhere they have had all day all night all week to plan and for whatever redonculus reason, they have no gas.

Do you know some of these people? You know the ones that are always riding right above the final, just before the empty needle hits the little drawing or the little graphic of the gas pump? Or you know, you get all those little lines, those indicator lines on your gas meter, and they're always like just under the last one. And they're the first to say it.

They're like, oh, my God, we're riding on fumes. Oh, my God, I hope we're going to make it. Oh, God. I should have filled up. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I'm out of gas again. Oh, God.

Oh, look, I'm on low. I don't know if we're going to make it. Oh, God. Do you know those people for the life of me? I don't understand them. and you know them that now there's always the people that do it by accident now and then they get a pass but i've known people in my life every single time i get in their vehicle halfway through you hear that little ding the empty gas light chimes in ding

or you just happen to look over because you know this person you get in the car you know you got drive for half an hour you look over and sure enough it's on empty and what's even worse is when they have a gas guzzler you know when you got someone that's driving an SUV or a hummer or something oh it's so annoying it's like wait a minute you picked me up at 12 noon that means you had all morning I'm assuming you maybe got up at a respectable hour nine o'clock maybe 10 that gave you three hours two hours to fill up your tank or how about on the way over to pick me up you probably passed 40 to 50 gas stations can you not fill up your tank i don't get it and then not only are you sitting there and you've done this you're sitting there all stressed out you're thinking okay

where are we going to run out of gas what's the weather like is it raining is it cold Where are we going to have to pull over on the highway, on a side street? What kind of creeps going to pull up? Are we going to have to call AAA? Are we going to have to walk through a field to a house? Are we going to all these anxieties start filling up your head? Because Mr. or Mrs. I don't want to fill up on gas because I like to live on the edge. Hasn't filled up on gas and we're living on the edge.

the edge of my nerves that is so my question is why are those people in existence why do they do it why why why why why why just fill up your damn tank and don't be one of these people that go in and fill up like oh I'm only going to put $12 in

yeah you know it's it's cheaper if you just put a little bit of gas in I used to know a guy that would do that used to go oh it's cheaper if you only put in like, you know, like $8 to $12. In the long run,

it's cheaper. Um, I don't care if it's cheaper, dumbass. I don't get how it's cheaper. I don't know where your math comes from. I think you might have been inhaling gas fumes. But for God's sakes,

fill up your tank. Why? Do you leave it? Radon empty. The Harlan Highway question of the day all right let's uh let's switch gears let's read a letter shall we shall we read read a letter from up from the harland highway mail bag you know i always encourage you guys to write me at harland williams dot com and uh let's get into it i got i got an interesting

letter from a uh a gentleman named Shane uh just a few days ago and uh he had a response towards my comments about the state of the union address where I was kind of gone about how you know I feel like the US needs to puff its chest out and tell the rest

of the world to not fuck around you know what I mean Hey everybody Who wants to have better sex No yes yes the answer is yes You always want to have better sex That's what you want it to be better not worse

Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off. one item and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item.

It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discreet. discount and a 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. So here's Shane. He goes, hi, Harland. Avid listener to the podcast. Just finished listening to one where you talk about the state of the union. I've noticed whenever you talk about what America

needs to do, it's always about what's going on in other parts of the world. A lot of which is none of America's business, except for the fact they want to stick their noses and everything in the name of cash or profits somewhere down the line. Instead, why not worry about all the horrors the U.S. is conducting on their own soil? From the mismanagement of water, the inequality of citizens, be it their rights or their living standards, the horrible fracking all over the country threatening to destroy people's health and well-being for the sake of profit, oil spills, rampant races, dirty backdoor political deals which take place every day

to serve the wishes of a couple of pricks on the backs of many who trust them, et cetera, et cetera. Don't look past the American borders for anything to worry about until there is even an attempt to clean up their own yard. This is a big reason why the rest of the world hates the USA, the arrogance they show, to tell everyone else what they should do. but yet the reality isn't anything the U.S. does worth, sorry, but yet there really isn't anything the U.S. does worth repeating.

So this is coming from a fellow Canadian, and it's a shame you choose allegiance to that country. Is it just to share in their greed for your own personal financial gain? I would hope not. I guess all I'm saying is American, needs to fix its own problems and let the rest of the world fix theirs. Thanks. Keep the funny. Shane. All right. Well, I wrote back to Shane and I said, excellent letters. Shane, thank you. I'm going to read it on a future episode. Good stuff. Shane wrote me back and said, sounds great.

Harland, I appreciate it. I certainly want to make sure you took it for what it was and that I definitely mean you no disrespect by anything I said. I look forward to hearing what you say. Hopefully you don't rip me too bad. Thanks again for all the laughs. Take care, Shane. And then I wrote back, ha, ha, ha, ha, no ripping at all. I enjoy getting feedback on these things. It makes me think.

And that is very true. And Shane, I appreciate this letter. Obviously, you put a lot of thought into it. Obviously, you're passionate about it. And I'm not here to rip you. I actually like hearing people's different points of view, even if they're opposing or they're different, if they vary. In this case, it's not really an opposing point of view.

I think my rant about the State of the Union was really more about not so much America getting into people's faces, but America standing up to the evils that are coming at it and the evils that are present in the world. that probably take the strong hand of America to deal with them. Remember, keep in mind that as a Canadian, you're a Canadian, I'm a Canadian and an American, Canada's a big country, Canada's got morals, Canada does business and commerce all over the world, but Canada doesn't have the firepower or the strength or the bravado to stop some of the very horrible evils that are going on in the world. I think maybe you misinterpreted my rant.

And it's more about, at some point, you know, America's leadership needs to just kind of put the foot down and not be like, you know what, you guys have to stop it. America's got to be like, hey, guys, it stops like yesterday or else. And unfortunately, that's kind of an aggressive stance. But that was my point of the rant. I feel like the world's pivoting into a place where, unless someone stands up and takes control, I don't know where we're all going to end up. You know?

There's a lot of violent things happening. And yes, you're right. America's not scot-free when it comes to, you know, perpetrating things around the world. But at least you have to look at America and go, So usually they probably try to err on the side of things that are good and positive and keep the human race and civilization moving in the right direction. Now, everyone makes missteps and are there certain times in the U.S. history

where maybe they've done things that were for sketchy reasons? Yeah, maybe, but I think everyone has that in their history. And it's not so much about commerce and finance, because that's always going to be, there's always going to be crooked people and good people. This is more about the human spirit. This is about good and evil. This is about people beheading people. I already ranted on it in the last episode. But, you know, there's no right answer.

There's no wrong answer. but, you know, in my mind, whoever's got, you know, the power to slow down entities and forces that would really like to alter and maybe end our human civilization, that power's got to do it. Whether it's the, whether Greenland or Russia or China, you need someone who's going to fight. for freedom and fight for letting people live free and live their own lives and not be persecuted for religious beliefs and yada yada yada it's a very long long thing but i don't want to get into another rant but i do want to say i appreciate your point of you i appreciate your letter can't say i agree with all of it um you know you can always look at the negative and the positive you know for all the negatives you mentioned

And I would encourage you to write a list of all the positives that America has done. And I think they far outweigh maybe some of the negatives that you came up with. But that's up to you and the listeners to decide. But nonetheless, good point of view. I appreciate the letter. And please, if you have something to say or you want to write to me, I always encourage it. As I say, I never claim to be right.

I just like to put ideas out there. And in this case, with Shane, it sparked a reaction in his head, and he felt the urge to have to respond. And I like that. And I like what he wrote. So thank you, Shane, and all of you. Harlow Williams.com, if you feel inclined to get a little. little message out there yourself.

Why don't we read another letter while I'm here? What the heck? Why not? This is from Steve. The subject is downloading the podcast. Hello, Harland. You're great on Adam Carolla's show and I'm trying to listen to your podcast but the only way appears to be through iTunes. I refuse to own any Apple products or download any of their nosy spyware

or agree to any of their terms and conditions. If you can put a download button directly on your page, that would be great. Thanks. Well, yes, yes, yes, yes, Steve. If you go to my website, harloweems.com, and you go on the podcast, the podcast button or whatever it is, it will open the podcast page, and you will see there's three or four different options. where you can get the podcast through Stitcher,

you can get it through SoundCloud, you can get it through our RRS feed, you can actually listen to it right on my website, whatever you want. So there are multiple ways to get it. Don't give up. You don't have to use Apple. And just so any of you other listeners were wondering,

please, please, please know that you can get the podcast and other places. All right. I think that's enough mail for today. I think we have two letters is just more than enough. It's almost overwhelming, isn't it? Let's move on. Let's move on, please.

Yeah, I noticed with that last letter that there seemed to be a real brand issue with the person who wrote the letter. did not want anything to do with Apple did not want did not refuse to do anything with Apple and I find it interesting people can be like that people get very very brand fantastic it's a new word I've made up

brandtastic I find it it's as you find that a lot with TV and like you ever meet people oh you you probably watch Fox News I don't watch Fox News. I only watch CNN. But, you know, you always get people that refuse to do the other thing. Oh, I'm on Android.

I'm on Blackberry. I'm on Apple. I can't do the other ones. Or I watch CNN. I can't watch Fox. Or I watch Fox. I won't watch CNN. It's like, what?

Um, you know, there's a lot to learn from, from different things. I'm the type of guy. that I used to have a Blackberry, then I went to Apple, and before that, who knows what I had. I watch Fox News. I'll flip the channel and watch CNN News. I mean, my theory is you learn from everything, right? And I don't know. I always encourage people to try different things.

If you get locked in on something too much, it's, I don't know, you're locked in. you're kind of alienating a whole other thing, a whole other entity. Like, think about all the things that Android offers or BlackBerry offers, that maybe Apple doesn't, or what about the point of view you might get on Fox News that you don't get on CNN News or vice versa. Is there anything wrong with broadening your scope of trying different things? I don't know. Can you vote Republican one year and then the next election vote Democrat?

Why not? I think pledging allegiance to brands and including political brands is a little bit dangerous, and I don't want to insult anyone, but could be a bit narrow-minded. I think in life, you know, unless something harms you physically, like if somebody built a type of car where the wheels fell off, I'd be like, okay, stay away from that brand. But I don't know if you've ever rented a car. You might be the kind of person who goes,

oh, I'd never drive a Kia, or I'd never drive a Chevrolet. I'm a Volkswagen guy. But then one day you have to rent a car and suddenly all they have is a Volkswagen or a key and you're like, hey, this isn't half bad. Or you go to a restaurant, you've passed this sushi restaurant,

your whole life and one day your friend says let's go to my favorite restaurant and you're like okay where are they go it's the sushi place on the corner you're like oh my god now and then your friend takes in you go you know this was this was delicious what the i've been missing out on this for 33 years that's right loser so anyways do whatever you want but i would say you know in life be Open. Be open to the competition. Be open to other brands. Be open to seeing what they have. Try them. Take them for a test run. You might be surprised. Have you ever done something for so long and then tried something you didn't think you'd ever try? And you're like, holy crap, I did that with sushi as a matter of fact. For years, I refuse. I'm not eating raw fish. No way, man. And then one day a buddy of mine got me to try it, and I sort of liked it a little, but I wasn't over the moon. And then I tried it two or three more times. I was like, I love it.

What was wrong with me? Why was I being so stubborn? Why was I not wanting to see? And I love watching all the news. You know what? I'll hear something on Fox News that I won't hear on CNN, and I'll hear something on CNN, that I'll hear something on CNN, that Fox won't report on and I'll go over to MSNBC

and they'll have something and I'm like, okay. When you go on the internet, you just go to one site? Is that it? I'm only going to go to one site on the whole internet. No. Fiddle around. Try stuff. There you go. It's up

to you. All right, so I think we're running out of time here. Good Lord. We didn't really do that much comedy today i apologize it wasn't wasn't a super funny funny show but that's the ebb and flow of podcasting sometimes it goes really wacky and absurd for the whole 30 minutes and sometimes it's a little more down the middle and there's been a few shows where it's just been almost serious i try to keep it funny but today was a i don't know it was a little more conversational maybe

which is okay again that's definitely variety thing. It's like, well, let's try it real funny one day, and then let's do it kind of down the middle. But this isn't my favorite spot to be in. But still, we covered some ground. We discussed things. If you want funny, if you want to be super funny, come out this weekend in San Francisco, where I told you to at the beginning of the show. This weekend at Sketchfest, San Francisco. Saturday afternoon, the podcast live at the Eureka Theater. And then Friday night, stand up and sketch at the Brava Theater. Oh, it's going to be great.

And then let's see what else we got coming up. Let's see when we get into February. Oh, my God, I'm going to be in Orlando. Orlando did at the Orlando Improv. That'll be February 5th through the 8th. And then on February 19th through the 21st, I will be in West Palm Beach. So two weeks over there in Florida, man. Rock and roll, baby.

So get your tickets. You can go to my website, harlowe Williams.com, go on the stand-up comedy tour schedule. You can order your tickets right there online, baby. Also, while you're there, if you want to leave me a voicemail, the number is on the page 323 739 43330 323739 43330 leave me a voicemail write me at harlewilms.com there's a there's a contact form on the page also check out our store we've got the magic uh fuck off t-shirts in the store which people are loving order yours today we'll ship it out to you um book CDs music all kinds of fun stuff uh so Check it out. Check out my new app, Philopio, which is on the homepage. If you do have an Android phone, you can download it.

Great game. 99 cents. Hours and hours of fun. And that's it, man. Hope to see you in San Francisco. I can't wait to play the live podcast. We will be playing it live, of course. And it might be live to tape.

I don't think it'll be live. live, like, it'll be live when we recorded. It won't be live in the moment because we don't have those facilities, but it'll be live to tape, and we'll put it up as a upcoming podcast very, very soon. So there you go. Hope you had a good time. Thanks for your letters. Thanks for your thoughts and opinions.

Thanks for being here, pavement pounders. And until next time, chicken, chameame, baby, and... in your treat