The Harland Highway - 647 - Attack of the Baby's. Is Harland ripping off another radio personality??

Episode Date: February 9, 2015

Do babies and household pets mix? Sometimes they don't. Is Harland the same as radio personality Phil Hendrie? Let's discuss. Philler Diller!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good evening and welcome to the House of Horrors. No, it's not a House of Horrors. It's a House of Hilarity. This is the Harlan Highway. You are rolling down it with me, your host, Harlan Williams. The podcast where you can schnaudcast. No meaning. Today, we are talking about babies.

We're talking about babies and pets. Do they go together? I am going to tell you a horrific story that might make your stomach turn. Yeah, babies and pets together. Sometimes they ain't the best match. And if you have a baby and you listen to this podcast, you might hopefully think twice about leaving the baby out with the family pets. Sometimes it doesn't end well.

I'll let you listen. Also, we're going to be, I got a call from one of the pavement pounders asking about a very famous and super talented radio personality, a guy named Mr. Phil Hendry, who does something similar to me wherein he does characters on his radio show and his podcast, and he jumps back and forth between being himself and being his characters. And the listener asks if I'd heard of him, if I'd been compared to him, you're about to find out. on the Harland Highway. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Harlan, funny stuff, bro. Funny stuff. Keep it coming.

Later. How long have you had this job? Long enough. He's fine as long as he gets his medication. He doesn't get his medications. He's not fine. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway.

You're a groovy boy. I'd like to strap you on sometime. The Harland Highway You're all going to experience intense, mental, physical, strength. All right, hold tight on the Harland Highway Show. Don't that be doing. I'll do it, I swear to God. Don't be such a fucking pussy. You're new around here, ain't you?

What's your name? You're listening to Harlan Williams. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Sheesh. Okay, so I think I mentioned to you guys the other day that my little sister, my little sister had a baby, little tiny baby. It's so amazing the concept of babies, isn't it? That, you know, two weeks ago, this human being did not exist. I mean, she existed inside my sister, but was not walking this earthly place. with us was not was not out exposed to the world it's just weird that we start and we stop

we're there then we're not there then we're you know it's just so bizarre and uh and so i'm phoning my sister and i'm congratulating her and i'm like so how how's everyone loving the baby you know how's the father and my sister already has two little girls how the little girls and they're all excited. And then I was like, oh, yeah, you have a little wiener dog. I was like, how was the wiener dog? And she was like, well, he was a little nervous. Like, every time he got close to where he kind of started crying,

he's not sure how to take it. And then I remembered a news story that kind of freaked me out. It was very recent. It was just in the last few weeks. And I don't know if I should have said it to my sister or not, but I was, like, freaked out. I said, wait a minute, wait a minute. The wiener dog, I said, you know, there was a news story a few weeks ago.

And my sister was like, oh, no, don't tell me. And I said, no, no, no, I'm going to tell you. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I'm concerned for the baby, okay, Sandy? I said, there was a thing in the paper where this couple had a baby. And the father went to work. The mother went down into the basement or upstairs to do the laundry and heard the baby screaming. The baby was sitting in one of those, you know,

those little baby holder chair, bad things. And the mother came running down and her two pet ferrets were literally eating the baby's face. Oh, I know. I know. And I read the story and they're describing that the baby, The ferrets had chewed the baby's upper lip off and part of its cheek and its face around its eye.

Luckily, they didn't eat the eyes. And I was just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I mean, unbelievable. Is there anything more horrific than maybe having your baby stolen could be worse, but your baby's literally being eaten alive and not its fingers or its toes, its face?

Oh, my God. So, you know, this is the thing. You got to be careful. I had a friend back in Canada who had a baby. And one day it's dog. It was a fair-sized dog. It was like maybe a little smaller than a German shepherd. It was a mutt.

And one day they weren't paying attention. And this dog just went nuts on. their baby, like, attacked it and started biting it and dragging it and the baby lived, but it's like, you know, you got to remember, as much as human beings are like, oh, look at the baby, oh, coochy, coo, little baby, little baby, oh, look at the little baby human being, right? I'm afraid that, you know, animals don't really have the brains we have. They're not entirely sure what a baby is. They maybe have a concept, but then maybe they don't.

Apparently, some animals think babies are delicious. And you've got to remember at the end of the day, as much as your dog or your cat or your ferret or your wolverine, whatever you have, likes to cuddle and snuggle and roll over and do tricks, they are an animal. Animals have animal instincts. and especially ones are a little more wild. Look, I don't think ferrets are really in the same class as a dog or a cat.

I think ferrets are still got that strain of wild. You know, these are animals that tunnel underground and eat prairie dogs. So this was very startling, so I told my sister this story. She's like, oh, my God. And I said, so be careful as much as we love your little wiener dog. She goes, don't worry, I'm not. putting the wiener dog near the baby. I'm keeping the wiener dog.

The wiener dog does not have access to the baby. My little sister is very responsible, so of course, she probably already knew this. But man, it's scary. You know, I saw a thing on the news recently where some guy owned one of those big yellow boa constrictors, the kind Britney Spears wears around her neck. And this was like, you know, an eight, nine foot constrictor. And this guy's letting his three-year-old boy play with it on the floor. And the snakes just crawling all over them.

And, you know, people forget. They forget that, you know, animals really have one M.O. in life. Or two M-Oes. They like to eat and they like to sleep. And if somewhere in between you rub their neck or rub their tummy or throw a ball for them, great. But that's not wired into their DNA. Humble's DNA, they are wired to eat and sleep and maybe reproduce. The rest is just kind of goofiness and man alive.

You leave a baby laying around. You might as well put melted cheese on it and drizzle some chocolate sauce on its head and put and soak its feet and gravy. You might as well just, you know, prep it. Prep the baby for everybody, you know? And be very careful to love your animals, cherish your animals, but for God's sake, don't trust them to the point where they're okay with a defenseless, helpless baby. Thank God this baby cried out or it would have been being crapped out of ferret asses the next day. So hopefully they'll be able to do some reconstructive surgery on that little baby.

and, you know, my God. So there you go. Be careful. Be careful with your little babies and your doggies and your caddies. Okay? Thank you. Hello?

Hello? Hey, Harlan. This is Mike from Portland. I'm at work right now, so I'm on a 10-minute break, so forgive the noise in the background. Hopefully you can hear this all right, but I just wanted to ask you,

So if anybody's ever compared your show to Phil Hendry, he has a radio show or have one where he would also do different voices and people and things like that. Really funny guy. You guys obviously have two different styles, comedy, but still kind of the same thing a little bit. And I'm just wondering if you guys have ever communicated with each other, if you know of him, or, you know, if you haven't heard of him, give him a listen. You would probably think he's a pretty funny guy. Anywho, I was wondering if you could speak to that, and I hope we have a good rest of the day. Chick-a-Chameen, man.

Oh, my God. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. First of all, the answer is yes, I have listened to Phil Henry. I know Phil Henry, and I love Phil Hendry. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God. You know, I just said this to a friend of mine, other day. I'm not a guy that laughs out loud easily. I don't know why. I wish I was. It makes me

mad that it's so hard for me to find something funny and laugh out loud. Maybe that's why I do my podcast to amuse myself. I don't know. But I love comedy, obviously. I love humor. I love laughing. But for whatever reason, it takes just the right thing or the right, whatever it is to make me laugh out loud. And Phil Henry, I was telling this to a friend just the other day we were talking about Phil Henry. He makes me laugh out loud just about every single time I listen to his podcast or his radio show. I found his show by Fluke. And before I get into it, yes, Phil Henry's a guy that does the voice thing. He does his own voice as a radio host and then he jumps into other voices, other characters, very similar to what I do,

and I'll address that more later on. And he's immaculate. He's just, he's amazing. I mean, the way he jumps back and forth, the speed, the precision, he can get three or four characters going at a time, and he seems to remember everybody's time and place, and he switches back from men to. to women, to men, to old men, to, he's just the master.

The talent that Phil Henry has is unbelievable. And surprisingly, he's kind of a guy that, despite how much everyone who hears him, loves him, is a little bit under the radar. And that's because his medium is radio. And radio has been kind of displaced by, excuse me, all the other mediums that are available nowadays. So it's probably hard to get traction on the radio when there's so many other entertaining distractions out there from, you know, podcast to TV shows to movies to, you name it, YouTube.

You know, there's just so much. But the first time I heard Phil Hendry was I was just driving around in my truck and I was bored and I was channel surfing and I went on to the AM radio dial because I was tired of listening to music I was like, I'll listen to some talk radio and I accidentally stumbled on this radio show or this guy was interviewing this woman named Margaret Gray who was the president of the homeowner's estate

for some gated community and she was talking about how, you know, how good they had it in the gated community and sometimes when the immigrant children made it through the gates to play with their kids, you know, sometimes they'd give them a microwave oven or something for Halloween, you know, just so they didn't feel like immigrants. And of course it's edgy and provocative, but it's really funny because it's so stupid. What it's really doing is shining the light back on us, more than it's making fun of immigrants.

It's shining the light back on the attitudes of a lot of people in America who do treat. immigrants kind of as below where they are on the pecking order. And so at first, I wasn't sure because Phil's so good with switching back and forth with the voices, I was like, huh, something just sounds a little strange about this. And then I started to notice that Phil never talked at the exact same time the person he was interviewing talked, and it slowly, slowly dawned on me. I figured it out on my own that he was doing the voices. But even though I knew that, I was just in heaven because the guy, A, he's hilariously funny.

He's just got a great sense of humor, impeccable timing. And B, he's very, very smart. He's very knowledgeable. He's very intelligent. He's very well-versed. No matter what topic he seems to be talking about, he seems to be very knowledgeable. and have a deep understanding of whatever he's talking about. So that really helps sell his bits because whenever he talks to a fake guest,

as he interviews himself the way I do, there's a real convincing layering going on because he's so smart. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. what you want it to be better, not worse, trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy.

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code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. Um, so anyways, he's very funny. He's very smart, but the way he words things, the, the, the edginess, the topics, the way he twists things around. He makes me laugh out loud. And he used to do this in the old days. He doesn't do it anymore, which is kind of a bummer. He used to take live phone calls from his listeners as part of his show. So he'd be himself, Phil Henry, then he would interview one of his made-up characters, and then he would bring a live caller into the interview who wasn't aware that he was talking to himself in character. And so he'd have this three-way argument going on between himself as character

and a live listener calling in from somewhere in the country. He was syndicated all over the country. And just phenomenal, phenomenal. I urge all of you to, you'll probably dump my podcast and just want to listen to him. And I won't blame you. He's that good. Just phenomenal. So yes, yes, yes, 100%.

One of my favorite guys of all time. Here's what I do. This is a bit of a ritual with me to tell you how much I love Phil Hendry. I went to his website, and for like $75, you can become a member of his website, the Phil Hendry Show.com, and you become a member, and you can listen to his podcast. He just does podcast now. I don't think he's on terrestrial radio anymore. And you can download his whole library.

He has years of years, decades of material, of shows. He does a show every night of the week, five nights a week, at least he did. and now I think he even does a Saturday and Sunday podcast. He's an animal. But for like 70 bucks, you can join for the whole year. And I thought, hey, should I be doing that? Maybe one day. So what I do is I download the latest episode

or sometimes I'll go into the archives and download an old one. And I will literally lay my laptop on my bag. and listen to it as I'm falling asleep and just laugh my ass off. It's very comforting and funny, and it's a great time to listen to theater of the mind when the lights are out and there's no distractions. It's a really good time to listen to these made-up characters

and these made-up worlds, kind of similar to what I do. Now, your other question was, and by the way, again, I recommend you tune in to Phil Hendry. He's just Phil Hendry show. It's H-E-N-D-R-I-E, Phil Hendry at Phil Hendry Show.com. And I'm telling you, join. You get a backstage pass.

It is worth every penny to listen to Phil Henry. Believe me. He also does a video cast where you can watch him going in and out of his characters. But I warn you, that might not be the best idea because it kind of pops the bubble. His characters are so real that you almost don't want to see him doing them live because once you see it, you can't unsee it. And it's fascinating to watch, but at the same time, it might take the edge off of your experience listening to him

because he's so good. Now, your second question was, do I get compared to Phil Henry? And do people ask if I'm imitating Phil Henry? and fortunately, the answers there are all positive. I have had a few people compare me to Phil Henry, which to me is the biggest compliment. If there's anyone I'd want to be compared for, even said in the same sentence as it's this man.

And as far as being a guy that copies Phil Henry, I'm so happy to be able to say this. The answer is no, no, I have not ever copied Phil Henry, and fortunately I have proof. Oh, I'm so happy, because I've been fascinated with this type of theater of mind, the podcast that I do since I was a little boy. I've always loved doing voices and jumping back and forth and the medium of radio. I've always felt was the perfect place. and so when I was just getting started in stand-up comedy in the 80s, I decided to put out a comedy album.

And I decided I didn't want to do stand-up because as much as I love my stand-up act, that's kind of boring. So you've got to remember, back then, we didn't have the internet, we didn't have podcasting, we didn't have digital, blah, blah, blah. So I basically rented a real-to-reel tape deck where you get these great big round, like six-inch tapes, and you run them through a giant tape recorder, and it was called a reel-to-reel.

And I set up a microphone, and I had a few little sound effects things, and I had this little electronic box that mimicked the sound of a phone. And I did a whole album called Harland Williams when rhubarb turns to radish. And on side one, it was rhubarb, and on side two, it was radish. Now, the concept of the album, which was a cassette tape, by the way, side one and side two, cassette, here it is, I'm shaking. I still actually, this is it, I'm shaking, you hear the cassette in there?

I actually have a box of these left, and there's a picture of me on the front, holding up some rhubarb in one hand and some radishes in the other. It's pretty demented. But the concept of the album was me at a demented radio station, and the whole album is me jumping in and out of characters. People calling in, people calling in for interviews, me doing characters, me jumping back and forth between voices, exactly what I do on my show here,

and exactly what Phil Henry does, and I even have the date on the credit list inside, here in 1989. So ladies and gentlemen and Phil Henry fans, I'm not saying I'm better than Phil Henry, but I can, without a shadow of a doubt, tell you that I was doing this possibly before Phil Henry. Yes, yes.

So I'm so glad I had that because I would hate people to go, yeah, right, you just ripped them off. No. No, no, no, no. So this, maybe I was ahead of my time. You know, because I know Phil Henry did traditional radio, and kind of slowly kind of segueed into doing his characters. But I have a feeling my demented radio show with the Phil Henry style type of voice stuff,

I think it might have preceded Phil Henry even doing it. And on a further note, not that I'm getting in a fight with Phil Henry, my God, no, I love him. but Phil Henry actually does a character on his show, which is an air traffic pilot, which you've heard me do on my show, and if you listen to Rubarb turns to radish, that character shows up about five times throughout my album. And so I dare say that I was doing this character before Phil Henry was.

Phil Henry, yes, which isn't a... boast. It's just, you know, no one could ever look at me and go, oh, you're ripping off Phil Henry. So I'm very proud of my old album. I'm very proud that I can be mentioned in the same breath as Phil Henry. I certainly feel that some of my characters are just as good, if not better than Phil Hendries, and some of them are probably worse. But, you know, we have different styles. We have different sensibilities. We have different senses of humor. We do different comedy. And, you know, boy, oh, boy, I actually had the chance to have Phil Hendry on my podcast once. A friend of mine knew him and asked him if he would be interested. I asked her

to ask him if he'd want to do it. And he said, yes. And I've never been intimidated by a guest, but I have such high praise for Phil Hendry that I got really nervous, and I was worried that I would just bore the guy because he's so seasoned at being a broadcaster. He's so good at what he does. I thought, man, he's just going to sit here and, you know, huff and puff and puff and roll his eyes

and who the hell is this kid? And he might not have. He might have just loved talking to me, but I got all this stuff in my head, and I have so much admiration. and respect for Phil Hendry that I just, maybe I will talk to him one day and I think he's the type of guy would just start blubbering because, you know, like I said, he makes me laugh out loud. I just love his characters.

I love his intelligence. I love his humor. I love what he does. But as I said, I think I might have been doing the same format before. he even was, and it doesn't matter because there's room for me and him and anyone else that wants to do it. It's all about what you guys like to listen to. But as far as what I do, I enjoy doing it. I hope you guys enjoy it, but if you do enjoy what I do, I'm pretty sure you will enjoy what Phil Hendry does, and please, please, please listen to this man. He will make you

laugh your ass off, I guarantee. So there you go. Wow, I'm sorry my answer was so damn long, but man, when I heard that call, I got very excited because as you can hear, I'm a bit of a fan of the man. And, you know, I'm in the entertainment industry. I've worked with A-list actors,

and I've worked with all the best comedians, and I've been on all the big talk shows, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I've got to tell you, probably out of all the famous, talented, wonderful people I've worked with. Phil Hendry is, and I've never worked with Phil, but as far as my feelings towards someone with talent and funniness, Phil Hendry's probably in my top three.

Okay, so that's how much admiration I have for this incredible man. So Phil Hendry Show.com. go and pay the money and you will be happy you did i'm i'm pretty sure i'd love to hear your feedback on it um he is just great so there you go thank you for that call again sorry my answer was so long but i got fired up um and i hope did i run out the show i did god we're at the end of the show but i think it was worth it worth it to talk about uh phil hendry and uh hopefully send some of you listeners that have never heard of him towards him and his way and just sit back and enjoy. If you're older and you've gone through life, you have pretty much seen it all,

I've heard it all. There's not that much that makes me laugh anymore. I hope I have handed to you and this caller has handed to you a treat that is just going to brighten up your life and fill your time with laughter because he's amazing. So there you go. So there you go. And if you want to comment, if you listen to them and you want to give me any feedback on them, I'm happy to hear it. I'd love to hear what you think of old Phil Henry. And I say old because I think he's in his 60s or something, but he's still, his mind is as sharp as a Norwegian narwhal tip.

Too soon? Maybe some ferret should eat my face. So there you go. Let's end the show on a high note talking about legend. and let's fill you in on where I'm going to be this coming week. I will be in West Palm Beach at the Improv in Florida. West Palm Beach, Florida Improv, February 19th to the 21st, Thursday through Saturday. And then the following week, I'll be back on the West Coast in California, Brea, California, Thursday to Sunday.

That's February 26 to March 1st. God, we're going to be in March. And then the following week, I go up to Winnipeg, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada to a great comedy club called Rumors. Get your tickets all at Harlandwilliams.com. And I hope we see you out there. Should be a blast. Go to my website, click on the stand-up comedy tour link, and you can get your tickets right there. Check out the store while you're there.

uh check out all kinds of stuff it's all there go through the website you'll find fun things to buy fun things to listen to fun things to watch and uh i'll leave it right there thank you everybody for being here and until next time chicken chalman baby