The Harland Highway - 655 - Bradley Cooper Elephant Man play objections. Harland's supernatural night
Episode Date: March 12, 2015A group of people who suffer from elephantitis are protesting Bradley Coopers new Broadway play, The Elephant Man. Letters from the Pavement Pounders. And, Harland has a most supernatural night!! Boo... a'la hoo!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. I know what we're going. You don't have to say it 40 times.
Here we go, stop it. Here we go. Stop it. Here we, here we. Stop it. Okay, ready? Yes. Okay. Hello, everybody. This is Harlem, Williams. You're listening to the Harland Highway podcast.
Great to have y'all here. This is, we're going to have a good time. We have a very interesting show today. My good
We're going to be talking to actually a gentleman from New York
who suffers sadly from a disease called Elephant Titus
and apparently he is very up at arms
and his society of fellow Elephant Titus sufferers
are upset that Bradley Cooper, the famous movie star,
is doing a play on Broadway based on the elephant man,
John Merrick, a man who suffered from Elephant Titus back in London.
back in the day. So he's going to be calling in, and it's going to get heated, I'm sure.
Also, we, I went to a seance. I went to a real live seance. It was very kind of eerie and weird
and spooky and kind of a fun thing to do. I'll tell you all about that. And also some really
great letters. We're going to dip into the mailbag, some great letters from some of the
pavement pounders. So let's go. This is the Harlan Highway.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce
The Harland Highway
I promise you, I will
Please you all, believe me
What is he like?
What's he like?
Oh, he's an angel
He's an angel strength from nothing
You're going to need a bigger pose
You're listening to Harlan Williams
Why don't you give me a name
And a face
And a reason why?
Oh man, what do you expect
The guy's chigolo man?
It's over, Jenny.
It's over.
Nothing is over!
You just don't turn it off.
You just made a wrong turn.
On to the Harland Highway.
Weird.
It's just plain weird.
You know what I mean?
I'm still alive.
I'll tell you what I won't give you, you muckers.
I won't give you the satisfaction of saying that I'm sorry.
Welcome to the Harland Highway.
Oh, you get your money for us.
Believe me.
are you scared kids
are you scared
oh boy
I went to a real life
seance
the other night
and
it was kind of creepy
I well okay
Roger you can cut the creepy music
Roger Roger
it was kind of creepy
but I can't say that
I was really super scared.
There's this facility, this place in Los Angeles called the Magic Castle.
And it's an incredible place.
It's kind of looks like an old castle, an old mansion.
And it's very big.
There's a lot of rooms and chambers and bars.
And you can go there for dinner.
And then after dinner, you can go down and catch, like,
a couple of different magic shows.
There's rooms where guys are sitting up close and doing slight a hand.
There's rooms where there's an actual stage and a showroom.
And there's all kinds of magic going on.
And there's one room you can rent out.
And it's a big kind of round room.
And it seats about, I think it seats about 10 or 15 people or 16 people.
And we filled it out.
The whole group of us went, and the room is adorned with some of Houdini's authentic artifacts, and, you know, old bookshelves and candelabras and chandeliers and vintage antiquities that give the place a real, a real kind of old, kind of enchanted vibe.
kind of a bit like a haunted house.
And so we all sat around in this private room,
and we had a nice dinner.
And then after the dinner,
a guy comes in, a clairvoyant or whatever you want to call him,
all dressed in black,
and kind of puts on a little show slash seance thing.
And basically, he, like, lowered the lights
and lit some candles and tried to bring back Houdini.
from the dead, which was a bit of a bummer because we were all thinking, you know,
we'd get to pick who we wanted to come back from the dead.
In all honesty, I'll do respect to Houdini.
I really, you know, what do you say to Houdini when he comes back?
Hey, Houdini, how's Trix?
You know, but I'm bump.
So I think we were all kind of hoping that someone was going to pick a family member
or we're going to pick a celebrity or someone notorious, someone famous.
But nonetheless, the lights go out and, you know, doors start creaking and candles start flickering
and items start moving around the room and voices start coming.
And as good an effort as they made to make it kind of scary, it's kind of more.
weird to hear haunted ghost voices coming through a sound system.
I think what you got to do is you got it, you got to, when everything goes dark,
it has to be a hidden panel in the wall, and a real guy or girl has to step into the room
because you can tell the difference between something that's kind of recorded and something
that's real.
So then they had the table rig that, you know, towards the end of the same.
the table started like moving up and down and bouncing and sliding and it was it was kind of
kooky so we did not we did not see houdini we did not see his ghost um you know we tried and
tried but it did not happen old houdini did not come back from the other side the other side
but it was fun man it's it's always it's always a little weird when you when you kind of stick
the probe into the into the nether world when you when you kind of you know we walk around all day
and we go oh our friends are in heaven and people are you know moved moved on and you don't really
tap into that that other plane but when when you're sitting in a dark room as a group holding hands
And you're actually making an attempt to reach the other side and reach other people and spirits.
And it's a little, it's a little unnerving.
It's a little unsettling.
It kind of creates a weird, panicky excitement.
And a few of the people in the room were a little fidgety and anxious.
And so it was kind of a unique little adventure.
I mean, how many of you can say in the last 10 years you've sat in a circle,
and had a seance.
Not many,
except for the devil worshippers
that listen to this show.
You guys are okay.
I'll carve you guys out, devil worshippers.
Ah, oh, oh.
Um, so anyways, that was our little,
uh, our little seance adventure.
Oh, who's that?
Houdini, is that you?
Houdini?
Oh, my God, he's coming.
He's coming.
Ah, Roger, go to a commercial.
It's Houdini.
So yeah, let fever mean you feel right, but I must admit it got the best of me, getting down so deep a good to drown, I can't get back the way I used to be.
skip ahead here
to a new category
if you don't mind everybody
apparently
Bradley Cooper
the star of American
sniper and
what's that one
The Hangover
and you know you know
Silver Linings
playbook all his popular
movies
apparently he's doing a play
on Broadway called the
elephant man and for those of you that don't know who the elephant man was this was a guy in
in england way back and i can't even tell you but it was a long time ago and a gentleman named
john merrick suffered from a disease called elephantitis which uh disfigures the the body
it uh it creates giant growths and it enlarge
the bones, and it's just a horrible disfiguring disease that causes all kinds of physical
problems, as you can imagine, and it disfigures the body, it contorts the body, it causes the
the muscles and the fat and everything to close in on the face and the mouth, and it, it, it
distorts the speech and it's just a horrible disease it's it's just ugh and so uh bradley
cooper is doing this play about the elephant man on on stage and on broadway and i guess
there are still people in the world who have elephantitis which is which is horrible
and uh i guess uh there's a small group called uh the elephant society
And these people are up in arms that Bradley Cooper is doing this play.
They feel that it mocks the disease.
Most people recognize the play as just kind of telling the story of John Merrick,
but people feel in the Elephant Society that this movie and this play are profiting on the backs.
of people with this horrible affliction.
And so we have a call coming in today from the founder and president of the Elephant Society.
And this gentleman actually suffers from Elephant Titus.
Larry Funlumps is...
Wait a minute.
Roger, what's his name?
Larry Funlumps?
It's German?
It's pronounced what?
Funlumps.
Okay, well, it reads Larry Funlumps.
It's Funlumps?
Okay, all right, his ancestry must be German.
So let's get him queued up, Raj.
And let's hear what Larry Funlumps has to say about Bradley Cooper doing the elephant man on Broadway.
Hello, Larry, are you there?
Yes, Mr. Williams, I'm here.
Okay, Larry, good to have you on the line, and wow, why don't you just tell us what your objection is to Bradley Cooper's elephant man.
But as you explain, it's a introduction to Mr. Williams.
We are very disfigured people, as we don't need people, we don't need people shuffeting on the back of people that.
Okay, I'm having a little trouble understanding you.
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Williams, but my face weighs about 65 pounds.
Your face weighs 65 pounds.
Listen, I have growth.
I have my necker pressed together.
I have very difficult time talking to them.
Okay, well, we're going to do our best.
We understand.
Take your time.
Well, thank you very much.
And we feel that people need to see elephant clubs and feel that we don't want people making money off of our district union.
Oh, okay, okay.
And are you guys planning a legal action?
We will help the cease and assist forward to Mr. Bradley Cooper.
If that cease with this order has not met, we are planning a protest or a stampede.
A protest and a what?
A stampede.
A stampede?
Yes, Mr. Williams.
That one thing you don't want to do, it's get a third of elephants to put it off at you.
Well, I...
Okay.
When you say stampede, what does that mean?
I'm assuming what's to many nature itself, Mr. Williams.
where elephants, when they get irritated,
they band together and they stampede,
and they can be very, very distractors.
Are you saying you're going to stampede Broadway?
It's been asking, Mr. Williams.
It's successful we will.
Well, that sounds a little dangerous.
Are you talking about everyone from the elephant club
banding together and charging down the middle
of Broadway?
That's when it comes to,
Mr. Williams.
We as a society
will not tolerate
being mocked
in the public eye
by someone
such as Bradley Cooper
or the Broadway community
is inappropriate,
it's insulting
and instigating
to save the very least,
Mr. Williams.
Excuse me when I moved
one of my boils
of it.
Well, what are you doing, sir?
One of my boils has moved over the top of my lip,
and I'm just pushing it to his eyes and to bear with me.
My God.
There we go, Mr. Liam.
Now I can talk a little bit more.
See me as you can see.
Yes, that sounds a little clearer.
Thank you, Larry.
Now, I understand your sensitivity to, you know, somebody doing a play
and profiting from a horrible affliction.
To enlighten our listeners, maybe you can...
I know where you're going with this, Mr. Williams,
and I would be happy to tell you why I was so central to the disease of elephants
actually nature of look like an elephant to a degree.
And it is not...
Take your time.
You might want to move one of those boils.
Thank you, Mr. William.
Thank you.
It is not easy living in today's modern society,
the cosmetic society,
where everybody is a
scope as a plastic surgeon
and looks perfect.
And us at the elephant club,
we have, these, our affliction is
so severe that cosmetic
surgery cannot alter
our physical appearance.
Wow, that is sad to hear with all the
advancements, with all the skills, the
expertise, with cosmetic
surgery, to know that
that your condition is so
severe that not even that can be of any assistance.
It's very disheartening, Mr. Williams.
And what aggravates the problem is when people like myself or people from our society,
the elephant club, walk down the street, people throwing peanuts at us.
People throwing penis at you?
Peanus.
I'm sorry, penis?
Peanuts.
Oh, peanuts. People throwing peanuts?
Yes, Mr. William. People throwing seals out of them.
Because you appear like an elephant, people are throwing peanuts at you.
Yes, but it's exactly right. It's helpful, it's resulting, and it makes it very bad.
Okay, settle down.
Just take your time, Larry.
Thank you, Mr. William.
And so we...
Now, if you don't mind me interjecting, it also sounds like outside of you possibly bringing legal action towards Bradley Cooper and shutting down the elephant man, which I might add has been very successful.
Well, it's been successful on the backs of us elephant people.
Yes, and I hear that.
But there's another lawsuit pending, isn't there?
Well, I'm not necessarily one to talk about that one, Mr. William.
Well, I think in fairness, we have to talk about it.
You ran into some trouble at the New York City Zoo.
Well, I don't know if you call it trouble.
There have been some accusations thrown around.
Well, apparently you were watching the elephants and some tourism.
tourists saw you behind some bushes doing something.
I was, I had to go, I had to urinate, Mr. Williams, and I, as you know, we cannot walk very quickly.
So I had to go to the nearest spot I could and urinate in the bushes.
Well, that's, that's not the story we have here from the Associated Press.
They said, you were spotted behind some bushes by the elephant enclosure with your penis out.
Well, that's how one urinated.
It happens to take your penis out.
Yeah, but they're claiming, according to this, that you weren't urinating,
that you were watching the elephants with people describing a lustful look in your eyes.
And it looked like you were doing some kind of repetitive motion.
the bushes were thrashing around.
I was simply urinating, Mr. Williams, okay?
I don't know what people are implying.
Well, if you want me to get right down to brass tax, Larry,
pardon me for saying,
but people are accusing you of masturbating
in the bushes raped by the elephant enclosure.
I was not masturbating.
I was not, I was simply admiring the beauty of the elephants there.
Lord's, unbelievable creatures.
They are spectacles of nature.
Well, of course, there's spectacles of nature,
but there are several eyewitness accounts that I hate to say this,
but apparently you were staring at the elephants
and pleasuring yourself in the bushes right by their enclosure.
I was not pleasuring myself.
Take a breath, sir.
sir i was not threatening myself to the elicence well you know people say that you were looking at them
with with very lustful eyes and and you were doing a repetitive motion back and forth with your arm
uh and they said it was accelerating it was getting more vigorous
It's not true.
I was taking, I was doing a tinkle, a number one in the bushes.
And then they said you started making, it sounded like pleasurable moans
that escalated into almost like elephant noises.
I slowly and completely deny this fraud, with Mr. Williams.
And if you're trying to divert James Henson from Bradley Cooper's elephant man,
save on you.
Save on you.
for third-day fucking thing.
Well, sir, I hate to say it,
but if in fact these charges are true
that you were getting off
in the bushes while you were watching the elephants,
I have to say shame on you.
Well, I understand it's very difficult
for a man in my position
to provide any sexual pleasure
or find a sexual partner in the real world.
Well, I can imagine dating can't be easy for someone with Elephant Titus.
So why don't you do the math, Mr. Williams?
What would you do if you couldn't get a date and you were all tens up?
And by the way, my texticles.
Your what?
My testicles.
Your what?
My testicles.
Your testicles.
That's why.
Each of my testicles due to the elephant titus, my right testicles.
my right testicle
weighs 72 pounds
72 pounds
and my left testicle
weighs 26 pounds
well there's always a crooked one
is that supposed to be trying this
William
no I'm just saying
so you can imagine
how much is backed up
into my testicles
and when I went to the zoo
and I saw the elephants
I couldn't sound like it looked quiet
so are you saying this really happened
No, I'm not, Mr. Williams, and I think he's convicted to what I called you for.
Bradley Cooper is an insult to the elephant club, and if he's not careful, we're going to form a stampede at his house.
You're going to stampede Bradley Cooper's house.
I think I've said it off, Mr. Williams.
I've made my point, and...
If we could just get back to what you were doing in the bushes at the zoo.
I was removed from the premises of the zoo, and if you wanted to see that,
any further you can talk to my lawyer good say mr. Williams okay is he going yes I'm going
good say what was that nothing no I thought I heard I heard something it was nothing
are you getting upset no I'm not getting upset okay it sounds like you're turning in
I'm going to love this, Williams.
Oh, my God.
Roger, oh, my God.
What's he doing?
Oh, my God.
Is he gone?
That got scary.
Well, there you go.
An interesting story, to say the least,
you know, it can't be easy having elephantitis.
And I get the sentiment that to have someone doing a play
and someone as popular and famous as Bradley Cooper,
who's, you know, let's face it, living a charmed life.
life right now, is out there kind of doing this thing that some might perceive as
insensitive and exploitive, even.
But that doesn't excuse this story that apparently Mr. Funlumps was at the zoo.
It sounds like, as we stated, doing something highly irregular in the Bush is just off
the edge of the uh watching the elephants in their enclosure so we'll we'll keep an eye on both
these stories and maybe we'll have uh larry funlumps boy i'm sorry to lap but that name is just
it's almost like fate handed this guy to two horrible hands first with with the elephant
titus and then that's not really the name you want if you've got elephant titus so so
uh we'll keep an eye on these stories maybe we'll have mr fun
lumps back as this goes along and see what's happening.
But interesting stuff.
I mean, you can't even make this stuff up.
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Have fun.
Don't throw your back out.
Can you?
So we'll see.
We'll see where it goes, gang.
Let's move on, Raj.
Interesting call.
Letters.
Oh, we get letters.
We get your letters every day.
Mailman, mail, ma'am.
Man mail today
Reach right in and pull one out
Those letters
I love those letters
Let's find out what you've got to say
Oh boy
Mailman
Mail today
Oh yes
Let's end the show with a few of your letters
Shall we
First of all I want to thank you guys
For calling in
Writing in I should say
I love it when you call in
But just love it as much
when you write in as well.
So let's get to a few of your letters.
We haven't read any for a little while.
Here is a letter from Andrew Wilson.
The subject says,
Fudgy Wudgy Greatness.
Okay.
Fudgy Wudgey Fudge Faces my indie movie that I shot
and is now playing on my YouTube channel.
And if you're not subscribed to my YouTube,
channel, you're not going to see it.
And all you have to do to subscribe to my YouTube channel is go to harlowewilums.com,
click on the YouTube subscribe button at the bottom of the home page, and you're in.
There's no charge, there's no fee.
There's just every time I post a new clip of Fudgy Wudgy Fudge Face, you get to watch it for free.
And by the way, we do it every Monday.
It's a four-hour epic movie that I shot independently, and it's twisted.
I call it the dumbest movie ever made
and you get to watch it over the next
year and a half
if you're so interested. So anyways, back to the letter
Andrew Wilson says fudgy-wudgy
greatness. Let's read his letter. Dear
Harland, I do the majority of my listening
and now watching in brackets from Shanghai
and any other place I happen to be visiting
in Asia for work. I know you have
pavement pounders all over the world, but I just thought it might be nice for you to hear.
That is great to hear.
Oh, my God.
I love it.
I love it that someone could be on the other side of the world, and I'm sitting in my studio
in California, and I'm reaching you.
I'm making you laugh as you wander through the streets of Asia.
That blows my mind, actually.
I love it.
And do me a favor.
Spread the word.
I'll make you my spokesperson.
You'll be the pavement pounder spokesperson for Asia.
spread the word over there on the Harlan Highway.
Let's continue your letter here.
It is also related to my opinion regarding one of your callers
suggesting you leave your current events discussions and opinions off the podcast.
I imagine you have had plenty of feedback on this,
and I enjoyed hearing the female caller's response to the original dude.
Okay, so it was a guy that called in and left a message that said,
I got to cut out talking about serious stuff, stick to the comedy.
And I played the call, and I got some calls and letters from you guys saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we like the serious stuff, too.
So let's continue reading.
I just wanted to tell you that as an expatriate residing in China, I've been exposed to such a wide variety of perspectives on geopolitical issues and interpretations.
of current events.
With that being said, not only do I appreciate your views,
even if I disagree with some points,
but I wish there was more of it in your shows.
I don't know how or where you get your news,
but your points are certainly not a regurgitation
of one particular side's view or the other.
Well, that's true.
I try to keep my opinions right up the middle
so that I can let you guys form or pick your sides.
I never want to be like a Bill Marr where I'm kind of just following or towing a party line
and blindly following one side of the other.
To me, that's stupidity, even though I think Bill Maher's funny and has a good show.
Let's continue the letter.
It is your honest sentiments backed by your logic, which you often spend time illustrating for the listeners.
I think it's great and engaging and often huge.
humorous at the same time. Well, thank you very much. I respect both caller's points, but want
to say, keep doing what you do and being yourself. I look forward to the highway connection
to North America twice a week, opinions and all. Well, I can relate to that, Andrew. That's so true.
I lived in Germany for a year and a half at one point in my life. And that was pre-internet,
pre-digital media, pre-cell phones. So when you, you're just a year and you, you know, you know,
you lived on the other side of the world, you were pretty isolated from North America.
And there was one little newsstand near where I worked that sold USA Today, and it was always
like two, three days late. Actually, I think it was about a day late. And so I'd get old news,
you know, a news that was a day old, but I just felt so much comfort, and I so much love
buying the USA
today
and they charged like
five bucks a copy
because they had to import it
and courier it over
to get it there in time
and I didn't care
it was like my tentacle
back to North America
and I just, I loved it
I would read every word
I'd go through every page
even the articles I didn't like
I would read just because it
it was my lifeline back
to home so I get it
what you're saying
and the fact that the Harlan Highway
is kind of a lifeline to you
warms my blood.
That's fantastic.
Thank you.
So let's see.
Where did I...
Now I'm sorry I'm getting off topic here.
Okay, here's the rest of the letter.
Here's where the fudgy wudgy fudge part
comes in right at the end.
He continues, he says,
I have watched the first three episodes of fudgy wudgy fudge face
and can't wait for more.
Well, thank you so much.
That's the idea.
You know, I put out five, six minutes of it a week,
and it makes you want to come back for the next episode.
Six-minute trickles is almost torturous.
I know, I know.
I put it out in little five or six-minute segments,
but, you know, the idea is to keep you engaged and keep you wanting more.
And I'm glad to hear that in your situation, that works.
say to me the movie is so silly but the way it is shot makes it work and then you wrote something
in chinese uh i can't understand or read chinese so i'm just going to say squiggle squiggle slash
squiggles square squash and translated that's hona tonguea pongai and uh that's it he says
thank you well andrew thank you for your feedback what a great letter awesome
letter and uh and uh have fun over there in uh asia be safe and keep watching fudgey wudge face
we will keep queuing it up for your amusement and thank you for listening to the show spread the
word in asia and uh let's do one more letter before we close everything up oh whoa well look at
this this is interesting this letter actually just came in as i was doing this segment so let's
Let's read this.
This is a fresh letter just came in like three seconds ago as I was talking.
As I was reading the other letter, this one just came through in the email.
So here we go.
This is from Kyle Wright.
And Kyle says, his subject is Samuel E. Quowke and Crowd Control 3.
Okay, so Samuel E. Quowke is a character I do on the show who claims to be a wordsmith.
an author of romantic letters
and fancies himself to be poetic and romantic
and he comes on the show
and he reads these letters that
usually take a very grisly turn
and it's anything but romantic
it's kind of horrific
and he's quite the character
so let's read Kyle's letter
Harlan that's what I'm talking about
that's just like a shot in the arm
That's what I'm talking about.
Harland, episode 600 brings my reluctant favorite Samuel E. Quout to the show with another gem.
That was a splendid rendition of another classic romance letter.
Sorry I'm so behind on podcasts.
I will never stray too far from the highway.
Well, you better not, young fella.
I will send Larry Funlumps to trample you.
topping each previous segment of Quoke story.
For example, falling into a foxhole with a severed arm,
then being trampled by a herd of buffalo,
then the lightning bolt is about the funniest material around.
Well, thank you.
As I said, whenever he reads one of his letters about his exploits
with his lady friends,
they always seem to meet a tragic end.
His girlfriends start, you know, sitting by a warm fire side, sipping wine,
and the next thing, you know, a taxidermied elkhead falls off the wall and stabs them.
So the letter's always kind of spiral into this violent ending for whoever Samuel E Kouk is with.
Let's continue the letter.
The laughing during the letter, whoever that is, makes it even more funny and fun to listen to as well.
So I guess what Kyle is referring to is, you know, during me reading the letters, you can sometimes hear laughing, and that's me laughing.
Sometimes I'm saying things that are so ridiculous and mental that I can't contain my giggling, and it causes me to laugh out loud.
middle of doing my bit, and as much as I hate to break character, I sure do love to laugh.
So it's a double-edged sword, and I'm glad you don't mind that sometimes I lose focus.
Let's continue your letter. Please keep having him on. His letters make my life more enjoyable.
Yes, they're that impacting. Oh, well, how about that? Man, oh, man. Thank you, Kyle.
And then Kyle closes out.
He says, your crowd control 3 was just purchased 2.
Your crowd work is tops in the industry with Russell Peters.
Thanks so much, friend.
All the best.
Yours truly, Kyle Wright in Vancouver.
Well, thank you, Kyle.
Crowd Control 3 is a digital download that's available on the comedy page of my website.
And basically, I do a lot of.
crowdwork. I love to talk to the crowd and do stuff, spur of the moment instantaneously with
the audience. And what I've done is I've recorded some of the best moments and put them together
on a compilation album. And it's actually the third one I've done called Crowd Control 3. And if
you want to get the download, it's an hour long, and it's an hour long of hilarious,
unpredictable, unexpected
stand-up comedy
live in the moment
dealing with drunks and hecklers
and troublemakers
at my live stand-up comedy shows.
And it's a really fun listen.
I'm sure you'll have a great lava
that people seem to love it
and you can get it.
I think it's only $1.99.
So it's the price of a chocolate bar.
You can download crowd control,
3 and hopefully laugh your ass off and be live in the moment at these comedy clubs
with yours truly.
So yeah, it's on Harlow Williams.com.
Go to my stand-up comedy, stand-up tour link, and you can download Crowd Control 3.
And that's the end of Kyle's letter.
He says, thank you.
Kyle, thank you for a great letter.
And thank you for your support.
Thank you for your kind words.
to both our letter writers today.
And I'm sure Samuel E. Quoq will be showing up again soon.
He's long overdue.
Spring is in the air,
and you know he's going to be out there romancing somebody very soon.
So if you guys want to write to me,
you can write to me at harlidwilliams.com.
And as I said, while you're there,
subscribe to the Fudgy-Wodgy Fudgeface movie
by clicking on my YouTube subscription button
at the bottom of the page.
You can get Crowd Control 3 right there on the comedy page.
And check out my stand-up comedy special, my tour, I should say.
I don't have anything going for the rest of March,
but come April, holy smokes.
It's getting busy, folks.
I'm going to be up in Cleveland, Ohio at Hilarities, April 9 through 11.
Then I'm going to be at the Halifax Comedy Festival, April 22nd for one night only.
That's a Wednesday.
Then I'm going to be at Comics in Connecticut, April 23rd to 25th.
And then I'll be up in my home country of Canada.
I'll be at Yuck Yuck Yucs in Ottawa, April 30th to May 2nd.
So check out my page.
You can actually purchase your tickets online.
There's links to all the clubs and the payment methods.
And we look forward to seeing you there, ladies and gurgoblergens.
That's all we have time for today.
Well, you're at harlornombs.com.
Check out our store.
We have all kinds of other items for sale, t-shirts, books, CDs, DVDs, music, all kinds of great stuff.
And what else could I tell you?
Check out my app, Philopio.
If you have an Android cell phone, please download Filopio.
It's a great action-packed video game.
You can play on your phone.
If you go to the home page of my website, you can snoop around and look at it.
And it'll take you to the link where you can download it.
It's banned from Apple because it's so edgy.
but if you have Android, you can go ahead and get it.
So that's it for today, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for listening.
Please tell your friends about the highway.
We want to get people, all kinds of people listening to the Harland Highway,
and appreciate any help you can give us in making that happen.
All right, that's it for now.
Have a great one, and until next time, Chicken, Shaoamain.
Baby!
