The Harland Highway - 657 - Interview with Ford Austin, filmaker,producer, survivor!

Episode Date: March 19, 2015

Today's extra long show is an interview with a filmaker friend who discusses his career and his near death experiences after a horrific car crash. Seed the speed!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Come to the cabaret, old chum. Come to, no, you don't have to go to the cabaret. The cabaret's coming right to you here on the Harland Highway. Pupu-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-podcast. What a great show I have for you today, gang. Today's show is extra long. It's like double the length. I have a very special guest with me today.

friend of mine who's a filmmaker, an actor, a producer, and he's going to tell us about his career, his films, his experiences in the entertainment industry, and also he's going to share with us a very personal and very inspirational story about a near-death experience he had that involved a horrible car accident that literally technically saw this gentleman actually die for short bursts of time three times. And I think you'll be inspired and moved by his story and by the events and how he's managed to come through it and carry on. It's quite a, you know, almost like a miracle. And, of course, I couldn't be happier because he's been a friend for a long time, and he's a wonderful guy and creative and funny, and I'm so glad he's here with us today. This is a special edition of the Harland Highway.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the Harland Highway. I promise you, I will please you all. Believe me. What is he life? What's he going anyway? He's an angel. He's an angel. He's an angel stuck from Arthur. You're going to need a bigger poach.

You're listening to Harlan Williams. Why don't you give me a name and a face and a reason why? Oh, man, what do you expect? The guy has chigolo, man. It's over, Johnny. It's over. Nothing is over. You just don't turn it off.

You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. Weird. Just plain weird. I'm still alive. I'll tell you what, I won't give you, you muckers. I won't give you the satisfaction of saying that I'm sorry. Welcome to the Harland Highway.

Oh, you get your money for us, believe me. Hey, everybody, welcome to the Harland Highway podcast. What a show I have today. This is going to be a real, this is going to be probably a Chinese and Danish delight rolled together. One of my old friends who I've been kicking around in Hollywood for many years with is my special guest today. I'll introduce him in just a minute, but incredible stories of filmmaker. He's an actor. We met on the set of a movie, and we've been friends ever since. But his story is

inspiring and creative and monumental not just when we talk about his career but also some life changing things that happened to him and you're going to love him welcome my guest filmmaker

actor entrepreneur producer Superman it's Ford Austin everybody how are you bud you left Wolverine off there too Oh, shoot. Hold on. And Wolverine, ladies and gentlemen, please cross that out. You are a wolverine. Yeah. Do you eat deer and stuff at night? Deer, yeah, deer horn, deer antler. Is that good for your virility?

I just wipe it all over my face and go out and run in the park. It's phenomenal. Is it crushed or do you actually scrape antlers on your face? Scrape antlers on my face. Wow, you're a tough. Saw me in the parking lot, right? Yeah. Wow. Have you ever crushed like a moose antler all over your face? Oh, gosh, that's like what Terry Cruz does. You've got to be a massive person to do that. Who's Terry Cruz? Terry Cruz?

Yeah. Massive, amazing actor who's now hosting Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? He's on Brooklyn Nine-N-N-N-9. This is actually a show about him. Let's talk about Terry Cruz for an hour. I think I know. He's the bald black guy, right? I don't see color.

Did you see bald? I see bald. Yeah, he has no hair. He's the bald. He's just the bald guy. The bald guy that does all the pectoral dances. with his pecks. Yeah.

Oh, man, he's been in a few movies and stuff, too. Yeah, he's worked once or twice. How do you go from Regis Philbin

hosting who wants to be a millionaire to big crazy black bald guy? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how to get to Regis Philbin. Oh, really? You won't have words with him?

Oh, God. Yeah, I want to find him. Are you mad at him or do you want to be? Oh, wow. What did he do? He went on a date with my mother. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.

Was it physical? Oh, beyond physical. was like they got married twice so you want to like you want to have a real good tongue lashing for for philbon why not who doesn't you should rub his face and a pair of elkhorns oh god that'll teach the little munchkin exactly what i'm gonna plan how are you how are you buddy i'm good man the question is how are you i want to talk about i was going to jump in and talk about your new movie which we're going to get to but when you first got here you know when we met you you know you're you're this young crazy actor guy, and I was this young crazy actor.

Now we're a little bit older, and we met probably, must have been 12 years ago, I think. Yeah, 2001. And somewhere in the middle of it all, you got into a really wicked car accident. Yeah, four years ago. Four years ago, it was life-changing. You know, my life was on this path. I was working. I was making movies in Hollywood.

I was directing movies. right at the time I had a movie I was making for Lionsgate I had another movie I was doing and George Lucas's company Skywalker Sound was doing all the sound on it I was doing the sequel to showgirls which I'm sure you've watched

showgirls too and a couple of others Elizabeth Berkeley I did a movie with her so right about that time I was driving home from the studio in my Hollywood douchebag Porsche car the little tiny one

that all all it seems like a lot of producers and directors have those they give it to you when you get your sag card and your pGA card yeah yeah what are those called the caras or something what are they called man if it's uh they're they're they're the little boxers right boxster it's the boxster yeah yeah so you were you were whipping down the street like in hollywood in the middle of the night at uh 2.33 in the morning and i lost control of the car fell asleep oh i was heading north on highland and then it spun around so that i was heading south on highland and i basically you remember how Paul Walker's car accident happened

where you're like bashed into a pole yeah the guy from Fast and Furious yeah whose new movie is coming out and I hope everybody sees it to honor that guy's memory because he was a really great actor yeah so his accident was the same as mine except their car caught on fire so mine bent around a pole

on the driver's side right at the hip and I woke up in the windshield 15 minutes later a firefighter walked up to the car and he I said hey get me out of here I want to live I don't know where those words came from but I fired up the jaws of life

and I thought it was a chainsaw and I said no just forget it leave me here I'll figure it out and I collapsed and I woke up two weeks later from a coma You thought you thought he was going to use The Jaws of Life to disassemble you I thought it was a chainsaw and that they would cut me so they don't hurt the car

And then reassemble you at the hospital Exactly exactly so I So you're in the hospital and you go into a coma for two weeks Well they put me into a coma Oh, they was induced. My injuries were so bad. They say I was going 90 miles an hour at the time that my body hit the pole right on my hip. No airbags, nothing.

Yeah, yeah. 90 miles an hour in a convertible. Wow. And I've never heard of anybody surviving that accident. Not James Dean, not Paul Walker. Wow. I woke up from the coma because I heard my wife talking to me. Because when you're in a coma, your ears are.

open but your eyes are closed so what happens is your mind extrapolates a visual to go along with what you're seeing yeah yeah so whenever somebody would come into the room I'd see like crazy like my uncle came into the room and I saw him as uh Yosemite Sam in Jodpers thought he was a CHP officer who was going to ride me up the coast on his motorcycle okay meanwhile he's just a guy from Oklahoma that hangs out and plays chess and smokes dope so I uh I would see people I heard my wife say you promised you'd never leave me please don't ever leave me and she repeated it over and over again and in my mind I said that's right I did I made a promise to her yeah and I woke up and she was standing over me and she said

there's been an accident you're at Cedarsine Hospital this was after two weeks after two weeks she said everything's gonna be okay she just talked really calmly yeah my whole family was there everybody flew from around the country to say goodbye to me not to wish me well some of them did they thought you were say goodbye yeah parting words and um now wait a minute when you came out of the coma what did does the medical staff bring you out of the coma or did you just come out of it on your own so they i guess they back the medication off and they go okay well he's hopefully he'll wake up in the next 72 hours wow or he's gone that's tense man and um so i woke up after how long two weeks and i was paralyzed no once they

they put you put that reversal in the book you know i don't remember what that uh time frame was okay okay i woke up and i was paralyzed so from the legs down from from the waist down the whole left side of my body was paralyzed oh my god because i had a brain injury from hitting the windshield that affected my nerves and my whole coxic was cracked and all my ribs, everything. My spleen was ruptured and had to be removed. My lungs collapsed. My kidneys failed.

My heart stopped for three times. And they had to use the paddles to bring me back. But so I'm there. Dude, you are a fighter. It was crazy. And I'm in front of my wife and my mom. And because I'm paralyzed and I can't talk because I'm intubated, they think, well, he died for three minutes.

we have to determine if he's a vegetable or not, if he's brain dead. Wow. And so my biggest thing was I had to prove to them that I was alive and then I was having conscious thought. Yeah. Because I couldn't move and I couldn't talk. So they're standing over you talking about pulling the plugs.

Yeah. And you're listening. That's like being buried alive in a coffin. Yeah, it is. It is. But they weren't going to pull the plug. I hope not. But yeah, it was a, it was a,

big thing. And then I spent the next six months at USC or at Cedar Sinai. Yeah. And I had to relearn how to speak. And I had to relearn how to do math. And I had to relearn how to move my hand and walk. And my hip was shattered, but still they would get me up and make me walk with a shattered hip. And was that excruciating? It was unbelievable pain. Unbelievable. My hip was shattered for 10 months. I went home from the hospital with a shattered hip a suitcase attached to my stomach that sucked my stomach closed and it was everything out of like

the worst horror film you've ever seen good Lord it's like centipede meets Dr. Giggles yeah yeah with a little bit of good times thrown in right and you know I was catheterized and it was really painful because my whole body had to be rebuilt so I went home and I basically was in a hospital bed at home yeah where I had to I was still trying to

relearn how to talk I couldn't talk and the craziest thing was because of the brain injury yeah I couldn't think clearly yeah yeah and I couldn't intonate I couldn't tell a joke yeah you know I couldn't say things like you know a lot of people think that Chewbacca's dad was a general in the military but really he was a podiatrist he was a yeah so I didn't do that for you so uh I literally had to had to relearn how to do all that and just sort of hope that my mind would start to stitch it all back together and we did things like I would take singing lessons where a guy would come to my house and sit sit on my hospital bed while I sat there in the hospital

lied down in the hospital bed and he would just sit there for a month and go oh oh whoa and I was like when am I going to get to learning a song already. This guy's just teaching me how to do waterfalls of sound. Sound, it sounds almost like he was pleasuring himself if you asked me. He was. Could you see him or was there a curtain between you? There was a curtain. I don't know what was going on back there. I hate to tell you this, but he wasn't there singing. Yeah. Good Lord. How did he go?

Yeah, that's no. It's not singing. I wish I thought about that. Singing is ring around the rosy when you hear behind the curtain in the hospital room that ain't no singing teacher dude yeah are you okay I'm in therapy now I'm in therapy for this

so then I you know I spent that whole time that whole year basically at home in a hospital bed in a wheelchair and just so people can know that you are a super active guy. Like before the accident, you, you, Ford is one of these guys that's doing a million things at once running here and there, going to casting sessions, reading scripts, meeting with

people. You're like the Energizer Bunny. I'm just trying to stay active. I know, but you love it. You're a very creative, creative person and you love making product and art. And so for the notion of you being laid up is, it's insane even to think about it. That's a really great point because I forgot. One of the things that I did in the hospital once I was able to think clearly is I was producing a film from a hospital bed. Oh, wow. It was a documentary about same-sex marriage.

So I didn't have to do much except make phone calls. And my right hand was working. So I would make phone calls and I got us a theatrical release on both coasts for that movie from the hospital bed. And then I wrote a web series where I had some guy sit there with a computer and I dictated to him what the scripts should be. You were like Stephen Hawking at Cedar Sinai. Yes.

You were like Cedar Hawking. I was trying to figure out how to stay active. It's the name of your movie called, oh, by any chairs. Yeah. Wow, dude. Now, there was a spiritual element to this, too. You mentioned, and this is what I think will be inspirational to people. if you're comfortable talking about it

when you initially were in the car and you went through the windshield you mentioned that you had kind of a Patrick Swayze ghost moment where you feel like you saw yourself you saw deceased relatives can we talk about that a bit of course of course yeah you know the thing that happened was I

immediately after I hey everybody who wants to have better sex no yes yes the answer is yes the answer's Yes, you always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping.

And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. It doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. I will be packaged and sent discreetly for free. and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out.

That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer. offer specific to this podcast. So, be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out.

Kind of came to... In the windshield. In the windshield. I was no longer in the windshield. I was standing outside of the car. And I turned around and I looked and I saw the car smashed against the pole and my body was pinned in it.

Wow. You were looking at yourself. I was looking at myself, and I looked down and my feet were barefoot, and I looked ahead, and there was my great-grandfather who lived until he was about 76, but he was 35 years old, and he was dressed to go fishing, what I thought was hunting, the hunting vest on. And his son was next to him, dressed in a fedora and a suit to go to work, and he worked for his dad his whole life. Yeah. And then there was this doorway of white light that just was pure white light beaming at me. Really? So it's that typical what you hear about from people who have an out of body after life experience?

It was like a radiating, like was it hard to look at with the eyes or was it inviting? Was it pulling you? It wasn't pulling me. It wasn't inviting. It was there. It was just there. Because what I was really focused on was my great grandfather. Yeah.

In that moment, I felt I really had to thank him because he was. worked his ass off his whole life just and always thought about his kids and his grandkids and all this stuff and you know to this day we still sort of live in his house in Oklahoma City yeah we have it and stay there from time to time so I walked up to him and I said I just want to thank you so much for doing everything in your life that allowed me to have a better life wow and he nodded and smiled at me and then I turned to his son who also was about 35 years old yeah and he said do something for yourself that nobody else can claim don't be like me and I smiled at him and then I looked at the doorway of white light and I looked deep into it and I saw millions of

little angel wings or wings fluttering through it wow and then it started vacillating from pure white light to silvery tones of pink orange yellow and lighter colors yeah all lighter colors all silvery tongue and then it changed into a shape of a person and i didn't know if like that was supposed to be my spirit standing next to them you know like a generational thing or if that was like something else like a holy spirit thing and um so i just stood there for a second and then all three of them pushed me back into my body wow in the car and let me ask you this when you were looking at your own body was your body still conscious like were you still I don't know if I was conscious or not

I just saw the back of my head in the windshield so they push you back in and then I cycled through all of these visions and coma related things and like being pulled down I died three times in this accident

and they revived me three times at the hospital so amazing each time I don't know if this would it was but there were three different instances where I experienced being sucked down through a tunnel into a room where I was hovering over the room looking at a table in between a bunch of people and a body was on the table and I thought it was somebody else

I didn't know it was me. I was hovering down in the room and then finally I hovered down and it was me on the table and all the people around were the doctors and family members. So you were you were having an out-of-body experience obviously. Something and then it can't be a coincidence. I mean there might be people listening now and go, oh here we go. again with the white light and the door and the relatives. But it can't be a coincidence that so many people, whether the religious or not religious, have this moment. It's got to be something that's tied to us as human beings.

It's not possible for so many people to have such a common visual, spiritual experience, like the one you had, the white light, the radiating light, the seeing relatives, the visions of angel. type wings and covering over your own seeing your own body so it's very fascinating because i think a lot of people get skeptical and and and this and that but you know it's not till you know someone that you know as i know you or someone in your family and they come back and they tell you this happen and you can believe them because you know them and and you go there's just no way all the people through through history could be having the same kooky dream you know yeah yeah i i i did

definitely feel that. And when I woke up, I was like, did I really experience all this? Yeah. And then there was a book that came out about a month after I was in the hospital when I was coherent called Heaven is for Real where this little kid, they made it into a movie. Yeah, I saw the movie. And I read the book because my sister was like, you have to read this. And there was a lot of similarities. And then I started kind of looking at all of that. And I was never really overly religious before. I wasn't baptized until I got married in my first marriage and just wasn't really raised up in a religious household.

So for me, it was really more just I was experiencing this connection to family members that were concerned about me. That's what it was for me. I was experiencing these people who are really important to me in my life. I got to ask, was I there? Of course you were there. I was not. You were in the passenger seat.

Was I? What are you talking about? We were both dead. Oh, great. Great, great. I'm glad you made it back. I mean, was I there in your group of important people? It doesn't sound like it.

No, nobody was just the guys, just those guys. A crazy thing happened two years later. Thanks. When I became well, I went out to my great-grandfather's cabin in Wisconsin that he had built in 1929. Yeah. And I'm going through the cabin and I'm messing around doors and stuff. And I go in and I go in the garage.

Yeah. And I find the freaking vet. that he had on in the vision in the fishing vest the fishing vest wow find the vest and I make my uncle put it on and it it was weird unreal it was so unreal that that's amazing I wonder if there's something did you check the pockets or something of course I looked through all the everything was empty interesting interesting but it was you know it was a very healing time for me these past it's four years since the accident And obviously, I think I already know the answer, but I'll let you put it in your own words.

What's your outlook on life now? Do you feel like you've been given a second chance? Are you more religious? Are you more spiritual? Are you more, I've got to live every single day to the fullest? Like, what's your outlook now when you wake up in the morning? Well, one of the things that I had to really embrace when I was in the hospital was a couple of notions. One of them is patients.

Yeah. Because there were so many days where I could not talk. Right. And I didn't believe I could talk. Where my wife, who was with me through the whole thing, she would do rounds with the doctors in the morning. Yeah. And then go to work and then come back and then tuck me in and then go back home.

What a great wife. Is she single? She sounds like the type of girl I should be dating. You could get an award for that, right? Yeah, I hope they get an award for that. Yeah. So, but she kept me in process. And that's what it was.

It was about being patient. Yeah. And we had this saying where we were patient, patience. Because really we learned that when you go through an accident like that, you're not the only one. Yeah. Everyone you know and your family, they all go through it with you. Like, you were in that car accident with me. When you heard about it, you were like, oh, my God.

Yeah. Yes. I remember I talked to you probably around the halfway mark when you were really still healing vigorously. and and you know we weren't sure there were still times when you were in and out of we didn't know if you were going to make it or not and I remember I got to talk to you while you were I think still in the hospital or still in your bed and it was just emotional for me to hear you you know hear you kind of a little bit helpless and vulnerable like that and and hoping and praying that you would you would get better and it was it was it was just

it's hard and I'm not as close to you as your family obviously but it's hard to know that someone you know about you care about is down you know and yeah and it's that patience process applies to us too because we just have to let nature and and healing take its course and and it's very can be frustrating and and time consuming and test you you know that's one of the things I really learned out of it was the patience Yeah. If you really are patient, on a long enough timeline, everything improves. Yeah, yeah.

All you get to do is just stick around and stick with it. Everything improves. Look at history. Yeah. Right? Everything has gotten better for everybody. Everything. Maybe except for civilizations that died out, but still their generations current.

Or civilizations that still want to move backwards, you know, like some of these radicals in the Middle East. Yeah, yeah. They want to take all the forward motion and turn it backwards. So not everything, but most things. Not today, not today. But on a long enough timeline, those guys will fade away because progress and creation. You can't stop. It always win over destruction.

Always. It's more of a creative world. Yeah, yeah. Things get created. There's other things that get destroyed, like those jerks that are, you know, yes. Yeah. But those guys aren't going to be around forever. Yeah.

Those guys are going to be, they're going to run on this. Of course not. Of course not. Of course not they won't. But the other thing I learned in the hospital, aside from patients, was just that you've got to stay in process. Yeah. Like there were days and weeks and months when I could not walk. And they didn't think you'd ever, they told you that you would never walk or talk, right?

Doctors gave me a 1% chance of survival. Of living. Of living. And they said you will never walk again. And I had another doctor, a specialist to say, I never thought that you would have, I thought you'd be catheterized for life. Wow.

And then I had to have my whole urethra reconstructed. And boy, that's a walk in the park, I'll tell you. I bet. Well, you're like peeing out your ear probably at some point. Oh, yeah, I wish it was my ear.

At least it would have been part of me. Oh, wow. So, uh, but, you know, yeah, it's just being positive and staying positive about it and thinking. Amazing.

And there was somebody famous that said this when they got sick. They said, I don't have the luxury of a negative thought. Yeah, yeah. So that's what we kept on saying is we started to put the word yet on the end of everything. Because, like, I couldn't talk yet. I couldn't eat yet. I couldn't walk yet.

It took me two years to really walk well. Did you ever have a conversation about Yetis? Oh, that was all. That's all we do now, right? Because that would have been fun to hear. I can't Yetty yet. I can't yet yet. Soon I will yetty.

Yeah. Let me hear your best Yetty. What is a Yetty? Oh, man. It's like your dad, right? My dad, the Yeti. Everybody's dad turns into a Yetty from all the body hair after a while. Must put catheter in my ear, must I.

Yeah. So, but then we went on, and after two years, I got out of the wheelchair and got off the cane and the walker. And I went through two phases in eight. different hospitals over the course of that time god two coasts and thank goodness for insurance yeah because oh something that huge would just break you you you'd you'd have to go out in the street and just die under a stop sign yeah well i didn't do that but guess a number how much you think it cost to heal you and bring you back yeah i'd say i'm gonna say six million dollars seven and a half seven and a half you wanted to call me the six million dollar man but you're not

you're gonna call me the seven and a half million dollar man just rolls off the tongue that's amazing but see what's funny to me i didn't flinch when you said that because when you're talking about bringing someone back from the from the grave from the brink of death money's irrelevant like it didn't even phase me when you says okay if that's what you need great he's back yeah you could said 10 million. I went, great, done. You know, it's, it doesn't matter at that point. And, and, you know, the hospital systems and insurance systems are so huge. And I was so lucky. There's so much money in there. They always act like they don't have money. But, you know, just look at the, the insurance for Progressive with that girl, Flow. You know how much it costs to make one

commercial. It probably costs about $7 million to make a flow commercial. Yeah, yeah. Flow pulls that in one year and they make those commercials that they do like three a month so so they got time flows just flow they're progressive does a whole bunch of other commercials so they make they make that lizard how much does that lizard pull in the lizard i mean the caveman the money guy on the bike the money guy on the all of them these guys have so much money that that to to put like seven and a half million towards healing you is it for really for them is a drop in the bucket so you can't flinch when you hear that because they should be paying to bring people back. Well, you know, I felt like I was really just helping to redistribute everybody else's insurance money.

There you go. Just take it back out of their pockets and put it towards somebody good. And then someday it'll happen for someone else. I can't wait to help somebody else get through what I went through. I'll tell you. Well, let's hope nobody has to go through what you went through. But yes, well, amazing story. We could talk about it in much more detail.

But, you know, I really appreciate you sharing. It's a very intimate thing. and I think people hearing it will be inspired and I'm certainly grateful. Before you move on about it, I just want to thank my wife, Lori Dash. Lori Dash. Because she was really the advocate that I needed.

She was there with me every day. Oh, yeah, of course, man. I love her so much. And my cat helped out a lot too. Oh, really? Zoe Austin was there. Did the cat, like, do back scratches on you and stuff? We couldn't bring the cat in the hospital.

So the day I got home, I burst into tears when I saw her on my wheelchair because she didn't recognize me and I just was like weeping. Oh, that's sad. But did she get to reacquainted with you? I mean, she must have picked up on your scent and... No, she was interested in the wheels.

They must have rolled through something on the way into the apartment. Oh, really? Yeah. Rolled through a patch of catnip or something. Exactly, exactly. So now she's... But Zoe Austin's there with me day in and day out now.

Aw. See, animals, animals are great healers. Like dogs and cats. You know, they can't speak, but that's why they take them to hospitals and seniors' homes. They have great healing properties. I heard there's a woman who's traveling around with a peacock now. She uses his therapy pet. Yeah.

Can you do a peacock in person? That was a peacock at the Taco Bowl Drive. It was. I like the specificity. Well, I remember I got whiplash once. I was in a car accident. I hurt my neck. It's like the same thing I went through.

Yeah, but I got whiplash and I had trouble turning my neck, so I was able to get my hands on a giraffe. And the healing that that little fella did for me, like just to have something with me with a really long neck and look around for me when I couldn't. I mean, what a healer. And then I'm an idiot. I went to the ceiling fan store.

Oh, my God. Poor guy. I mean, all he was trying to do was help, and I take him into a ceiling fan store. And, oh, Melvin. well at least he got me back where i needed to be well yeah that was melvin's journey yeah but anyway speaking of journey we're go i'm we're just glad you're here you're healthy you're back to work you're walking you're talking you're doing everything you used to do and uh hey let me tell you about

my new movie yeah let's i was gonna get into that yeah let's let's let's hear about your uh your new flick dude gosh i've got this amazing new movie called the astronaut what is it it's a short 24 minute film that we just qualified for the Academy Awards. Come on. And we got accepted. For the 2016 Academy Awards? Yes, sir. Wow. Yes, sir. Wow. And we got accepted to Cannes. No way. Yeah. So we're going to be at the Cannes Film Festival with it.

Give us a run. Give us a rundown of the movie. So basically it's a father and son story that the director James Schumacher made about his relationship with his father. And you're producing the movie? I produced the movie. I produced the movie. Yes, I'm producing it. Now, Schumacher's a pretty big guy, isn't he? What's he thought?

Well, that's a different Schumacher. This is a James Schumacher out of Reno. Okay. Very intense, difficult market to work in as a director, Reno. Reno's tough, huh? It's like working out of, like, Bolivia. Oh, wow. It's even hard to get your hands on equipment, but he did.

Yeah. And so we made this movie The Astronaut, which is a really wonderful story about this family relationship. And it kind of got some tones of the same thing I went through with the car accident, which is when you go through something, your whole family goes through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's about this man who was an astronaut, and his son is an aspiring astronaut, child, little toddler.

Sure. Played by Aidan, Aaron. A kid or not. A kid or not. And then the father is played by John Moslin. Wait, who's that? He's a newcomer, a hot-shot newcomer actor. And then there's another, the mother is played by Connie Joe Sechrist.

All three of these actors are just top talents. Wow. And they're really driving home the film, which I produce with a couple of other people, John Hollis and Matt Scots. Wow, wow. And can people see it online? Not yet. Not yet. As soon as we get done with all of the Oscar stuff and the...

Wow, that's a nice thing to say. Yeah, as soon as we're done with all the Oscar stuff, I'll let you have a peek out of it. Yeah, we'll have some peaks. That's a rare place to be to just say that sentence is, you must be on Cloud 9 right now. I'm really lucky. I'm really lucky because this is my sixth film that I've qualified for the Oscars. And I'm hoping that it's the best one. Oh, my God.

The last one I did was a documentary, the one I was doing in the hospital bed. Yeah. And we came close. We came close. Do you think this one will win? I'm hoping. Or at least get us a nomination or shortlisted at least. Who cares?

It's such a wonderful movie. And all of the actors and the producing and the directing, it's just coming together so nicely. And what's it called? The Astronaut. The Astronaut. The Astronaut directed, written and produced by James Schumacher. Produced by Ford Austin. Yeah.

St. Christ, John Mosulet, and introducing Aidan Aaron. 2016 Academy Awards. Well, everybody listening, keep your eyes open. And when you know it's available for mass consumption on the Internet, let us know. And we'll tell everyone how to watch it. Good. Yeah, absolutely. Well, amazing.

I got some more film questions for you later, but I want to shift gears now. Okay. Let's go in a completely different direction. We're going to have a Chewbacoff? You won't have a Chewbac off before the next question? Let's hear the Chewbacoff. Okay, you start.

You start. Oh, sorry, I stepped on yours. Go again. My turn? Wait. Oh, that was good. yours was better i think you're emoting a lot there

you got a lot of you're like a method wookie in that moment yeah that was deep I felt hairy did you ever see that episode that's on YouTube now of just the Chewbacca family on their planet

no the whole thing it's Chewbacca his dad his mom or no it's Chewbacca and his wife and kids he has a wife and kids On this episode, it is. And they're so hairy. And I think they all have the bandoliers. God.

Even the kids are at war. I wonder if they're like lapper doodles. Do they not shed or do they shed? Can you imagine going to... All the lid brushes they'd need, right? Well, imagine hanging out at a Wookie's house. You leave your suit would look like you spent the night in a Walmart sleeping bag with a polar bear. You'd just be covered in hair.

Well, the funny thing about this episode is they all speak in Wookie Talk and there are no subtitles. And it's like 20 minutes long And you totally get it Well, I guess it's no different than a parrot Or a, you know, lions You know, growl They understand each other I don't see a half hour episode of lion talk though

With no subtitles Yeah Wow. Interesting. Well, I love rookies, man. What's this next question you have? What do you got going on over there? Oh, well listen, we're going to switch gears uh this question is um you know i always like to throw stuff of people that they can't really prep for

yeah so here's my question we just talked about your cat yeah now we're gonna switch to to dogs okay oh yeah you're lost on an island or you're lost in the amazon you're somewhere you're completely lost with your dog and it comes down to do you eat your dog to stay alive or do you kind of pass away and allow your dog to eat you. It's a toughie, but I had to ask it. It's no toughie. There's no, there's nothing. I, I, I, I save the dog.

I don't eat the dog. There's no way I could eat the dog. You don't eat the dog to stay alive. No, well, no, I don't think I do. Well, okay, how about this? Maybe I split the difference. So you eat half the dog. We pair it down to a three-legged dog,

because three-legged dog's got a lot of moxie, right? Yeah. You ever, you ever seen like a three-legged dog? Yeah, but then you're trapped on an island with a dog who's really pissed at you because, like, dude, you ate one of my legs. Maybe he's pissed. You were like my buddy used to throw the frisbee for you. You eat one of my damn legs, dude. Yeah, what's the most forgiving breed of dog?

I don't know. I don't know if any dog gets over you eating its leg in front of it. You know, I think at that point, that dog, you know, dude, just eat all of me, dude. Oh, my goodness. Well, just my leg, seriously. There's no vegetation on the island? No, I mean, there is. You could eat a leave, but to stay alive, you need to eat the dog.

I have to eat the dog or die. I'm saying you could die, and the dog instinctually would probably eat you because we're flesh, and eventually it would probably start to starve, and naturally would probably eat you. Why wouldn't I fish? I'm on an island. Why wouldn't I catch a fish? It doesn't matter. You can't bring in other variables.

You're at the point where it's, you're down to you have to decide. Do I eat the dog or do I die? No, gosh, I slowly. I can't eat the dog. Okay. So you're going to die. No, I can't eat. The dog's going to eat you.

The dog and I are a team. How do we wind up on the island? It doesn't matter. We're buddies. That's how we're there. But are you okay with the dog eating you? I'm dead. He can have me.

I would love for him to survive and live another day and be able to go and make friends because he lived on my body. Wow. I'm gone. Yeah. He can go and live a long dog life. Okay. You know dogs only live about 12 to 14 years. Seven years for a boxer, right?

And that's what it is, actually, a boxer. Oh. Yeah, so you're pretty much. So I just gave up my life for a dog. But you gave up your life for about two years of a dog. That's what came out of that accident. I'm a very giving person. Wow.

I'm very giving. Wow, okay. That's, look, that's your answer. I tried to go in one with the leg. Let's put it that. You were kind. Yeah, you tried to get a little bit of years. I would have done the leg, but you said he'd get pissed.

Well, he would be mad. I mean, seriously, if I'm a boxer. He's not an elephant. Dude, we were here in paradise. We were making sandcastles that you were singing calypso. I'm sleeping and you eat my leg, dude. There's no paradise. There's no food.

Oh, my gosh. I don't know. I don't. Okay. Well, that's your answer. Oh. Why? Or why not?

Do you want to be Fort Austin on the team that goes to Mars? Do you want to go or do you not want to go? I want to go. Yeah. So you'd give up your life to go to Mars. I just gave up my life for a dog. Yeah. So who cares about Mars?

What if there's you and a dog on Mars? Oh my goodness. That's what the question should have been. But the dog and I on a team to Mars. That would have been it. It would be hard to eat his leg when he's got that thermal space suit on. Yeah, I know. You can't cut through that with a coconut husk.

But would you do it? There's people lining up right now. There's 100 people right. to Mars where they know they're not coming back. Would you do it? No, I won't do that. I won't do that. You won't. You're not even knowing. What's on Mars? Who cares?

Well, who knows? I got a good idea. What? Okay, is there a deli on Mars? They're not now, but at once. See, that's what this is about. To set up the deli? We start the process of colonizing Mars.

Before you know it, there's a deli. But it's about, you know, here's the thing. History might remember. Humphrey Bogart. They might remember Bono. They might remember David Bowie and Charlie Chaplin. But you know who history is going to remember no matter what? The first person on Mars? The first person, Neil Armstrong,

the first person on the moon, the first human being to step off the earthly plane. He will be remembered historically permanently. Everyone else will probably kind of, even presidents fade away. But that guy when you think about where the human race could be in four or five, six thousand years,

Neil Armstrong will be hailed as the guy that started it all. So to be one of the people that first one to step on Mars, you're going to be right into Neil Armstrong category, bro. Yeah, I hear you. Here is Ford Austin first man to set foot on Mars

and eat a dog leg. man you know I think that's really overrated you don't want it very overrated I'm an artist yeah

and that's all science and that's all pioneering and you know I think it's wonderful that there are people out there who really want to do that

but I would rather try and live another 70 years and figure out how to make some kind of artistic contribution great

that makes people feel good about not going to Mars yeah and makes all the people here crowded conditions and really poor sanitation. I want to try and help those people more than the people who are going to go to Mars 500

years from now. Got it. Like, do you remember anybody from 1776 besides like those top forefathers? Not really. Right. Who was the first guy that stepped on America? Well, they claim it was, you know, Chris Columbus, but I don't think historically that's probably technically accurate.

Right, because it was probably some Native American, like. a thousand years before that sure but we do know historically that Neil Armstrong was the first human that stepped on the moon who is the first person that went down in a scuba suit under under the ocean Jacques Cousteau no sure it wasn't Bill Murray it might have been but those are all earthly things yes that's what I'm talking about you want to be in outer space well we're talking about earth is is the the scope of our planet even though it's enormous and there's it's so intricate it's such a small dot in the vast expanse of the cosmos that that true history

will probably be remembered by those that ventured out beyond home base what's the best thing about being on mars do you think five you know what would it be i think it would just for me personally it would be the adventure of going to a place no one's ever been and and being the starting point for what's yet to come and to see the isolation and the vastness and the emptiness it would it would you know be like driving out into the desert to be honest but like opening up a Starbucks in Muskogee Oklahoma right but to know that you were the start of you were you were you were like the sperm that hit the egg and things started to grow and germinate from there which well okay on that thing there's there's always something to be said for the person that starts it but really

there's a lot of people that come in with great ideas that they refine things yeah yeah that's kind of what this whole world is built on now especially like all the pirating in china you know the first guy to get on mars that's the first guy he's just going to die right yeah it's going to be like oh i did it yes i've only got air for 16 hours yeah and i did it yeah they're like yes okay now we got to figure out how to give the guy like a hundred hours of error yeah or maybe two days so that you can figure out how to at least yeah yeah yeah build up I don't know, send a signal or something. Yeah, but it's the starting.

So, yeah, there's no right or wrong answer. I just wanted to see where your head was at. Don't you think they should send animals first? I don't know. I got a three-like-a-dog. I could get my hands on. I'll build one for you. They should send an animal with this team, though, definitely.

They should send a dog with this team. Yeah, I agree with that. Don't you think that would build, like, amazing morale? If you're like, hey, buddy, what are you doing over there? Come on, let's go up over that hill and find that rover. Yeah, and there's no gravity so you could throw a stick for about 922 miles. Yeah, and the dog would just jump all that way. I like it.

See, that's why maybe you need to go. Fetch on Mars. You're thinking about stuff. It's full of possibilities. Are beluga whales albinos or just really pale whales? I don't see color. Yeah, good answer. That is correct, by the way.

So jumping back to your movies and you're directing and you're producing and everything, Tell me, what is your ultimate dream script? What genre of movie? What is your dream script? And who would you love to cast as your lead actor and your lead female actor? You could direct it. First of all, let's start with the genre.

What genre of film would be that dream script? I guess it's going to have to be one of those, like, kind of, well the 1970s to me are like the golden age of cinema okay you got movies like um straight time with dustin hoffman and uh harry dean stanton yeah and you got movies like scarecrow with jean hackman and alpuccino and these movies were pioneered by this great symbiosis of directing screenwriting and also the actor bringing so much more to the role yeah than traditionally is explored today Judd Apatow is kind of doing it when he does a lock-off shot and he lets his actors just cycle through wild takes

and just spit out lines of all different variations flying from the seat of their pants. But I think I would want to do a movie like that. Okay. And I would want to make a very, very heavy outline and I would want to work with the actors who really bring some personal life experience and personal ideas.

So I guess it would kind of be a drum. or an action drama or a thriller drama but I like comedies too so I go back and forth like I would want to put you in a comedy I would want to make like what was that astronaut movie you did where you farted in the suit rocket man well I was the first man on Mars with the first man on Mars yeah so and I farted that was my contribution yeah and you know I would want to do a a buddy comedy with you or I'd want to do this really great thing in the drama thriller thing and get an actor like Gene Hackman to come out of retirement. Oh, I love Gene. What happened to him? Is he gone? Yeah, he writes novels out in Santa Fe. Really? If you're ever in Santa Fe, you can go out there and go to this great cafe called The Pantry that he'll go to have breakfast at. And you kind of, he wound up on an episode of diners, diners, drive-ins and dives with Guy Fieri. Really? So he doesn't really do movies anymore?

He retired. Now he writes these kind of John Grisham-type novel. except I don't think they're set in the world of law. But what a phenomenal actor, right? French connection too? Yeah. Yeah. Even sillier movies like Hoosiers. Like he was just so natural and he was kind of that every man's guy.

You know, he was everyone's father. He was everyone's boss. He could just slip into that role and he was so convincing and real. I think one of the reasons that was his training at the actor's studio. Yeah. And he basically became kind of. comfortable with just presenting himself in a role and finding himself in a script. And he could do it too.

He was just mesmerizing to watch. And he'd drive all the scenes he was in. Yeah. So I would want to do that. I would want to get Gene Hackman. And who's your female lead? Jennifer Lawrence. Really?

Why not? You would think I'd say like Merrill Streep or Dave Judy Dent. She's like the hot flavor of the month type of thing. I don't know if she really heard or Shailenele. I like Shailene Woodley's really nice. performance you know sheleen woodley has she's the girl who was in the fault in our stars oh okay cancer girl yeah yeah she's also in those divergent movies now yeah yeah yeah and there's just something that she does that's it's very close to her and i heard a rumor that she doesn't

even want to carry a cell phone and she just lives out of a suitcase and i kind of like that off the grid actor lifestyle where people just want to tune out and um interesting but otherwise otherwise what, Gene Hackman and you know, Jennifer Lawrence or Shalene Woodley because I like their just their, their, their whole demeanor and the way they are themselves. Yeah.

Or I would find, you know, some British person, some really famous British actor. Yeah, yeah. Throw them in there, Dame Judy Danch, or maybe some British guy I don't even know just off the streets in London. Just, hey, are you an actor?

Yeah. Oh, yes, I am. I'm a total actor. absolutely I'd love to act I just put that guy in there wow I almost you maybe you could do it well I guess I actually would love to do it yes

wow I didn't know you were British why not yes from South London definitely I bloody love what I'm hearing right here right now why don't you let me hear a British Chewbocker yeah British Chewbocker are you fucking crazy mate

no I'm fucking straight on a level it's a type of thing you don't normally do on a podcast No, it's exactly what you've got to do on a podcast If you won't get to episode 569 What, let me get this straight then You, Ford fought in Austin Yes Right, recovered from a fucking car crash

Want me, Olin Williams To do a fucking British, uh, woody The real first man on Mars Who fought in his spacesuit All right, mate, here it is Can you give me a count in from three? All right, in three Two

One That's British right there That was British That's fucking Cockney Actually you were definitely right That's South London You sounded like like Bob Oskins Bob Oskins or like a Western girl type of thing

Or somebody right of a Guy Ritchie film Like God Richie or what his face Yeah Hugh Grant Do a Hugh Grant I'll do it Hugh Grant Oh that sounds like Hugh Grant when he was down there On the Sunset Strip all right

Yeah definitely Beyond Denny's you got it you right there in the mouth oh my goodness it sounds like he was with your singing teacher sounds like what else are you thinking about

all right so we're coming we're coming to the end of our our interview and this is never leaving never leaving no well here comes the good part you get to play a game at the end of the interview by the way you got a great apartment here in van nice wonderful this you like our studio we're up on the 12th floor yeah and we look out

van eyes courthouse and burbank and uh we like it up here man my my boss is up uh three floors up mr featherstone great bail bondsman placed out there outside right next to the right down in the shoe store yeah so it's cool it does the job thank you i'm glad you you like our neighborhood here um so here we go this is uh this is how we end out the show with Ford Austin. We do this with all our guests. We play a little game called Too Soon or Not Too Soon. And all you have to do is guests.

You've heard the saying, oh, too soon. Too soon. Right. And there's a certain way you've got to say it. Like, how would you naturally say it? Too soon. Yeah, that's a good. If you say it right,

too soon. That could be the difference between winning and losing. So you're going to have four questions, too soon or not too soon. Let me read them. You can think about them for a second And let's see how many you get out of four Our first question for Too Soon or Not Too Soon

Fort Austin, are you ready? Yes, I'm ready Too Soon or Not Too Soon John Cougar Melanchamp Gets skin cancer And changes his name to John Cougar Melanomacamp Too Soon or not too soon?

It's not too soon Oh, I'm sorry, that is wrong That is wrong it just happened The real answer would be too soon Was it the news today? Oh my God I'm sorry

I'm sorry John Everybody used to say I was like John Cougar Melanoma camp When I was growing up Is that right? Yeah Why?

I just looked like him When he was doing Little Pink Houses That song Oh yeah It was a classic Remember back when MTV Actually played music videos

Nonstop? Yeah Yeah You'd see like the Erythmics And yeah The blondey videos Those were the days kid.

Question two. Here we go. Fort Austin, if you find a severed finger in your bowl of Wendy's chili, do you use it to pick your itchy bum too soon or not too soon? You find a severed finger

in your bowl of Wendy's chili and you use it to pick your itchy bomb too soon or not too soon. That's not too soon. Oh, my God. Ford. No, the answer is too soon.

I've got to start looking at the news more. Yeah. All right, you want to move on? Doesn't that happen like every six months, though? Well, you know. People to find fingers in that food all the time. It's all of, it's all your point of reference. Oh, grow up in Oklahoma and Texas.

There's fingers left and right. All right. Well, ready for question three? Chili country, yes. Fort Austin. Well, the tin man. from the Wizard of Oz is sleeping. The cowardly lion gives him

a full body rub down with olive garden olive oil and then sucks his metal feet. Too soon or not too soon. Oh, yes. It's too soon. Oh, yes. It's too soon.

Yes. Oh, I got one. I got one. I got one. That is too soon. Yes. Excellent. Just a sigh of relief over here All right, you're down to your last question. I'm shaking, I'm shaking.

Fort Austin, Donnie Osmond. This is worse than getting out of a wheelchair. Donnie Osmond's teeth are used to carve a new face into Mount Rushmore. It's the face of John Merrick, the elephant man, too soon or not too soon. My head is so big because it's full of dreams. That's not too soon.

Oh, no. It's too soon? It's too soon. Oh, but I died in 1898. I was dead. People have been shopping my bones all around. I'm the elephant, man. No, that's not going to save it.

It was too soon. Too soon. It was too soon. Usually all the answers are too soon. And you have to say it too soon. Yeah. I only did one. You got one, though.

I got to watch. Got the tin man, the lion's sucking the tin man's feet. Yeah. Even though instinctually I would think it would be not too soon, I answered. You did. You got one, which doesn't mean you failed. I didn't. I passed.

You barely passed. Well, Ford, we passed the Harlan Highway. You passed the Harlan Highway. You've made it through the toll booth. And we are glad you came up here. We're glad you recovered. We're glad you're okay. We want to wish you luck for your movie, the astronaut.

Thank you so much. Keep your eye on that. Keep your eye on Ford. And also, Ford has a backlog of other movies and projects. Where can people go online to look at your work for? Or if they want to check out IMDB, obviously. Also, actorfordaustin.com is another one. Actorfordaustin.com.

And then I've got a couple other projects listed in development on Ford Austin Productions.com. Okay. Great. And is there anything on YouTube? Yeah, there's a YouTube channel under Angry Baby Monkey. Anywhere there's Angry Baby Monkey on the internet, that's me. That's you.

Please go to Twitter, Angry Baby Monkey and Facebook and Instagram. And follow me, tweet me. I would love to answer questions. And if you want to make a movie with me or make a TV show or something, reach out to me, man. I'd really love to get people involved in my work because I think it's a collaborative thing. Definitely. You know, I'm looking for other stuff to make. Good, good.

You know, I'd like to thank the entire city of Van Nuys for having me out here today. And thank you, Harlan. Oh, you're welcome. You're in the Harlan Highway. Are you kidding? Absolutely. Really, man. Thank you so much.

It's so good to see you. Good to see you, buddy. We love you. Thank you for being here. I'm so grateful that you made it through your ordeal. And let's keep making magic, whether we're on an island with a three-legged dog, whether we're on Mars or whether we're right here in Hollywood. Ladies and gentlemen, this has been the Harland Highway.

Please reach out to Ford. Check them out online. Yeah. And should we do one final, like, singing school class thing before we go together? Yes, absolutely. I'll count it down and we'll do a final thing. Three, two, one. Oh, that felt good.

All right, that's it. This is Harlem Williams, Ford. Ross and my special guest. Until next time, everybody. Chicken. Chalmy. Baby. Baby.