The Harland Highway - 659 - Overcoming the burka. Harland gets a TESLA car.

Episode Date: March 26, 2015

A Middle Eastern man calls in to discuss ways in which North Americans can get used to seeing people wearing burka's. Harland gets his new Tesla car. Electric my selectric!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, shiver me, timbers, boys and girls. Welcome to the Harland Highway, everybody. I am your host, Harland. Middle name, not disclosed. Williams. And what a show we have for you today? We are, we're going to be discussing a touchy topic. You know, there's tension, there's a divide between Middle Eastern culture and North American culture

and all the unrest in the, you know, there's tension. the Arab world has not helped, you know, bring the two cultures closer together. It's made people a little anxious. And some of the clothing that they wear is so unfamiliar to us that that can sometimes make us anxious too. So we're going to talk to a gentleman who has found a way to kind of ease that tension, that trepidation that exists. And he says he has an innovative way to bring our two.

cultures closer together. Also, big announcement. I told you that I was going to buy a Tesla, the new electric car, and it just might be here. I might be able to tell you a little bit about it. In fact, I will tell you about it. I'm very excited. So stick around and let's get going. Let's have some fun today because this is the electric Harland Highway. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce The Harland Highway I promise you, I will please you all, believe me What is he like?

What's he like anyway? Oh, he's an angel. He's an angel strength from nothing. You're going to need a bigger pose. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Why don't you give me a name and a face and a reason why? Oh man, what do you expect the guy to jiggle-all man? It's over, Jenny.

It's over. Nothing is over! You just don't turn it off. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. Weird. Just plain weird. You're not me.

I'm still alive. I'll tell you what I won't give you, you muckers. I won't give you the satisfaction of saying that I'm sorry. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh, you get your money's worth. Believe me. Okay, so what are we doing? Okay. All right. So there was a story in the news that, and I think we're all sensitive to this, we're all aware of this, that, you know, as tensions and unrest flare up in the Middle East, and the emergence of ISIS and ISIL and, you know, the Al-Qaeda and all the things that are happening in that region of the war.

world, there's become a level of, shall we say, maybe some mistrust and maybe some fear that has been a byproduct of terrorist activity. It's made North American sensitive and a little leery of the Middle Eastern cultures, and in particular, maybe some of their customs, the way they dress. And Roger, you're telling me we got a guy today that, yeah, okay, we've got a gentleman from the Middle East who wants to address that problem. And he says he's found a solution or a partial solution to helping the two cultures acclimate and not be suspicious or fearful of one another, which I think is a healthy thing. and, what, he's on the line now? Okay, yeah, put him through, Raj.

Yes, put him through. Hello, Mr. Fazi Stod. Hello, how are you today, Mr. Williams? Hello, sir. How are you today, Mr. William? I'm good, Mr. Fazi Stod. Interesting call. How are you today, Mr. Williams?

I'm good, sir. interesting call that you... How are you today, Mr. William? I'm good, sir. Thank you for asking. Okay, dokey, then. So, so you are...

I'm not sure I understand this, but you're from the Middle East. Yes, I'm from the Middle East and the country, and I was looking to talk to you and sell very important products. You didn't sell... sell a very important product.

Yes, I want to sell very, very important product to help North Americans not be afraid by the Middle Eastern culture, to not be afraid by people who are coming from the Middle Eastern country, like talking about Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, places like this, Syria, Orky places like this. Okay, well, you might be right there, sir. I think, you know, there is a certain stigma nowadays with a lot of the unrest of violence in the Middle East. You're right. People might have an apprehension or be concerned about, you know, people from Middle Eastern countries because of all the conflict.

Absolutely. And what I want to do is help. help transgression A's, if that's even a word. Did you say transgression A's? Yes, is that even a word? What? Is that even a word? Is that even a word?

That is what I said. Is that even a word? Yeah, transgression A's isn't a word, sir. It's not in the English dictionary. I think what you're trying to say is you're trying to say, is you're try to help North Americans kind of, you know, bridge the gap between our two cultures and not be fearful or intimidated by some of the ways of the Middle East. Is that accurate?

I think you said it very, very sweetly. Like you said it like a Saudi Arabia sweet bread. Well, thank you, I guess. And how are you going to help North Americans become more comfortable, more familiar with the, you know, the Middle Eastern culture? Well, it's very simple. I think one of the things you have to do is they are not accustomed to our wardrobe. We wear long-flowing veils.

We have well on our face. We wear long robes. We wear veil on our head. And most of all, I think most people getting very uncomfortable around the barca. Uncomfortable around the what? I get it uncomfortable around the burga. The burqa, burka. You know burqa, burqa.

The burqa? That's what I'm saying, the burga. Okay, you're talking about that it's a robe and a veil that women wear. It's a full body suit and basically covers. them completely, except for a little slit, where their eyes are accessible? Exactly. Most people get very uncomfortable. They don't like the body to be of the women's to be covered up in the bariga, and so they get uncomfortable. When they say a woman's in a barque, walking around in a board, walking around in the street, and I've got a barca that their

eyes are sticking out. It's very unnerving to people. It is very unnerving, and you're right. Maybe if you could, you know, somehow make that more comfortable for people, that would help with the, you know, the relations between the two cultures. Exactly. And so what we are doing is we are trying to get the burq out to people and make them relaxing. Okay. And how do you, how do you, how do you get a workout? get the burqa out to north americans uh how do you get them invested how do you get them involved in in in this piece of wardrobe well married north american a fish tank in their house a fish tank a fish tank yes most of the north american neighborhood people in the house or the john the courgar melland

camp one saying in their little pink houses little pink houses yes and in their little houses, they have the fish swimming around in the fish tank. Okay,

they have the fish swimming around in the fish tank, yes. And what they got is the goldfish,

the big gold fish, you know, you know this type of fish, the gold fish? Yes,

we know the gold fish. And you have the gold fish with a big, puffy eyes. They look like

a man's testicles, big round, puffed up eyeballs. Yeah, You're talking about, I think they're actually called the big-eyed goldfish. It's a goldfish, and it looks like there's two big air sacks around their eyes.

Exactly. And so what I do is I own pet shop. Frasier's pets and puppies down on Melrose Boulevard. Very fun fish and puppies. Fun fish and poopies? Fine fish and poopies Little furry poopies Little furry poopies

Puppies Oh, oh, oh, pooh, oh, poopies Oh, oh, puppies That's what I'm saying I sell fish Or I sell a pool piece And we got the big-eyed goldfish The big bulgy-eyed gold fish

Okay And what we do is we may water Prove Borca I'm sorry, could you say that again? We make waterproof burqa. You've made a waterproof burqa? That's right. We put the burqa on the go, the big eye goldfish,

and their big puffy eye stick out of the underwater burqa. Their eye looks like the man's testicles after a man being hit with a golf club in the testicles. Well, that's okay. sure I like the way you're wording that, but you're telling me that you're taking those big-eyed goldfish and you're putting waterproof burkas on them and letting their big bulgy testicle-like eyes

stick through the burqa? Yes, we figure if people can't get used to the fish eyes, the big fat fish eyes, coming out of the burga, okay? A North American, they get used to because they love the goldfish. They love their aquarium. Okay? They love it.

They love it. If they could, they could make love to their aquarium. Well, I don't know if someone's going to make love to their aquarium. I make a joker. I make a North American joker. Of course, you don't make a love to your aquarium. Okay? joking. Okay, I got you. But

we do have the goldfish with a big fucking testicle eye. Okay, well, watch the language Fazizel. So I apologize. I get so excited. And we get the fish, goldfish eye, a big puff up gold fish eye. We put it in the underwater burka on the, and their eyes stick through and they swim around and people, North American, look in the go, in the fish tight, and they see, oh, beautiful, beautiful goldfish with big, puffy eye like testicles

sticking out of underwater burka, and they like the eyes. They love the eyes. They must even want to pull the fish out of the water and kiss the eyes. Maybe lick on the eyes. Okay, I don't think people are going to want to lick the eyes, but I think I get what you're saying. So because people like goldfish, North Americans are familiar with fish. that they provide comfort to a degree.

If we start off by putting these big-eyed goldfish in burkas and their big fat eyes stick through the burqa, this will in turn make people comfortable when and get familiar with seeing a Middle Eastern woman walking down the street in a burqa. Exactly. It's a foolproof plan. You get a goldfish in a burqa, and then everybody going to be happy, everybody assimilate, and everybody get used to us in all the propaganda, all the horrible things people say and feel and all the tension between an Arab world and the Muslim world and the Middle Eastern cult just we all put that toward the side. We live in harmony, the North American

Well, it's kind of an oddball place to start, but I think everything starts somewhere, isn't that right? A hundred percent true. Whatever you just said, I totally agree with. So come down to Fajizel's gold, the fish and popes, and you get your goldfish, and you're going to throw. underwater burka on the goldfish and maybe we throw maybe some of the fish we throw an underwater turban a torben it's a torben

torben for your head up on your head oh a turban that's right you put gold underwater goldfish with a barca we got the turban and the people got used to it okay wow okay I guess you know I guess so

okay now I've got to go I've got customers You have got customers waiting. I'll talk to you later. Okay, thank you. Goodbye, Fazizel. Did he hang up? Yeah.

Okay, wow. That's kind of a... It's an interesting concept. I mean, at this point, anything helps, you know? And if putting goldfish in burkas, because he's right, Fajigel's right that people love goldfish and people are scared by the burqa maybe because they're not accustomed to it. Maybe marrying the two is a good way to start the process, you know, getting people acclimated to seeing a burqa. So you could have your own fish tank with your goldfish swimming.

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Swimming around with their big puffy goldfish eyes sticking out of the burqa. So there you go. Great, great conversation. Great to start the healing. and the understanding. Wow. Okay, let's move on, Raj. What else we got?

Okay, it's here. I can't contain myself any longer. Guess what I picked up yesterday. Yes, my new car, the Tesla. I got the electric car, the Tesla. Oh, my God. You know, I think I told you guys, way back when I first started thinking about it.

The reason I kind of gravitated towards the Tesla is because I was just so bored with all the cars that were out there. No offense to anybody and the brand of car they drive, but I kind of maintained that cars are just kind of the same thing. You know, they might throw a different panel on it. They might throw a different kind of audio player. They might throw a little thing on the grill or something. something, but essentially all cars, they're just, it's the same old thing, same engine under the

hood, same interior, same dashboard, same, same everything, okay? And some may go faster, some may have more cylinders, some may, but it's the same old gasoline-driven, oil-driven engine, blah, blah, blah, and the interiors all kind of do the same things. And I was just, I was just uninspired to get a new car and I told you guys enter Tesla I went and started sniffing around I went to a showroom I looked at it I asked a lot of questions I ended up going for a test drive yada yada yada and and suddenly I got stimulated I got excited by a car that offered a whole new brand of technology not just under the hood but also on the interior okay Elon Musk for the founder and creator of Tesla basically says, driving a Tesla is basically like driving a computer around. And it's true, the whole inside of the car is very automated. And the front panel, it looks like an iPad.

Everything lights up, and you can scroll through it, and you can connect to your phone, and you can connect to the internet, you can connect to all the functions going on in your car. you can kind of touch stuff and change stuff as you're driving you can you can change the level of your suspension you can change the the rate of your acceleration you can do all kinds of really cool things with with the motor and with the all physical parts of the car itself so I go down to Tesla they tell me my car is ready I don't know if you know this but

when you order a test, so they actually put it together for you. You basically go to their website. You decide you want a car, and then you go on the website, and you just start picking out all the pieces. You pick out the color, you pick out the upholstery, you pick out kind of the perks and things you want, if you want a sunroof, if you want different tires, all that stuff. And what's great is it's all there.

You pick it and you put it together, and it's all priced out. There's no tricks, and you put your car together, and then they build it for you, and you pick it up like a month or two months later, depending on what their timing is. So I've been waiting for mine for, I guess, about a month and a half, two months. Nothing crazy. And I put all the pieces together, and I got myself a cool Tesla. And then what else has been a surprise to me, which was really good, is the sales team.

You know, we've all bought a car. I think we all go in and we always feel like, you know, they're trying to, you know, kind of sleaze us over. The car dealer guys, no offense, but there's this element of, you know, they're trying to squeeze me. Oh, it's an extra four grand for this. It's an extra three gram for that.

At least that's been my experience. I've always felt like buying a car has been very stressful and very, I was always dealing with a bit of a sheister. And, you know, not everyone, but I think it's kind of a, it's kind of just a stigma that's attached to car dealerships. And, you know, let's face it, a lot of these guys work off commissions. And so they got to squeeze the lemon and try and get as much money as they can at you. And I don't like that feeling.

But with Tesla, there was no. up sale you know they kind of they bring you in and the guys are very non-intrusive they're not they're not pushy they're more like just friendly guys are like hey how you doing welcome to tesla yeah we have great cars you want to take a look here's what we got and then you know there's no like and for an extra 20 bucks we're gonna do this for you you know it's all kind of there on the website so that was a good feeling and and there's a lot of correspondence are always emailing you and following up with you and phoning you and saying, hey, how you doing? Let's get your charger ready.

Let's do this. Blah, blah, blah. So there's a lot of correspondence. And basically, it tests you, they say, welcome to the family. They kind of bring you into the Tesla family. And I got to say, it kind of feels like that. It's not pretentious. They don't hit it too hard.

It doesn't feel creepy or weird. It just feels very kind of a mixture of business-like. and at the same time, kind of like more of an emotional connection to their customers. And that's a good feeling. That's a hard balance to find, and I feel like they did that successfully with me at least. And so the big day comes, you know, as I told you before,

I got the charger put in at my house, and then the big day comes, they say, come on down, let's schedule a time, and I went down to their showroom, and, you know, they say your car's ready, and I show up, and there it is. It's sitting in this beautiful showroom with shiny floors and my big Tesla logo on the wall,

and I see my car sitting there, and it's all shiny and new, and they put a giant bow on the front windshield. Looks like a Christmas present, even though I paid for it. And then they spend about an hour with you, an hour and a half. You do the paperwork, but then the bulk of that meeting was for one of their guys. to show you all the functions of the car,

which I had kind of gone through when I went for the test drive, but, you know, it still wasn't my car at that point. It was kind of a test drive, so I didn't really learn everything. And so these guys took me through everything in the car, and I just, all that stuff I was looking for that I told you about, the excitement, the tingling inside. Oh, my God, I could hardly contain myself when the guy was showing me all the bells and whistles of the technology

and how the car runs and all the things that it does and I was just like, oh my God, this is so cool. It's so cool. And I likened it to almost like, remember when we had cell phones and those big bulky ones came out at the beginning and the flip phones and all that? And then all of a sudden the iPhone came out.

And it did so much more than any other phone. It blew our minds and it's still blowing up. minds. That's what a Tesla's like. It's almost like driving an iPhone. You get in and there's no noise because there's no engine. It's completely silent. There's no shifting gears. There's all this technology on the dashboard. I mean, it's just a different type of ride. And it's interesting. Once I got in the car, and I don't want this to sound pretentious or snobby or snooty. But this is a real reaction I had. Forget about the price of the Tesla.

Forget about anything like that. A reaction that I had when I got in the Tesla and I started driving it, when I started passing other cars or when I was sitting in traffic, I seriously had this feeling looking at all the other cars going, oh my God, look at these dinosaurs. look at these old i'm surrounded by a bunch of old and i started visualizing what was under the hood of all the other cars around me and there's you've seen under the hood of a car there's this big engine okay automobile engines are big and they're heavy and they're clunky and they've got

all kinds of moving parts and they smell and they got belts and they got spark plugs and they got pistons and they got chambers and they got I mean there's so much going on there and there's oil and gas and transmission fluid and all you know coolant and all this all this stuff and and I just started thinking oh my god it's almost like I felt like I was back in the old days with the old Ford model T's where they wind the cars up at the front and the grill and all of a sudden I felt like I was like in this modern vehicle and all the cars around me were old and all of a sudden the cars around me like the cool cars like the BMWs

with the logo on the hood and the Mercedes with the Mercedes logo and the grill I started seeing all these people going by and just a week ago I thought oh man those cars are so cool and I swear to God I saw people go and buying them and I thought ooh, those, how old, how ancient? You ever see an old guy driving around in a Corvette Stingray? Like a 1980 or 1990 version of the Corvette Stingray? And you just go, oh man, that guy's out of date. That guy's out of touch.

That's, at least for me, that's what it felt like. And I'm not trying to hold it over and, oh, I've got a Tesla, you don't. That's not where this is coming from. It's coming from a futuristic point of view. It's coming from a moving the technology, moving the auto industry forward point of view. And I'm hoping everyone has an electric car or a Tesla or something like that soon. Because once you get in it, you realize, man, why haven't we been doing this? And there's people out there that are saying, oh, well,

Well, as far as the environment goes, you're still burning coal. Coal plants burn to make the electricity. Well, before you get on the whole coal burning, you know, electricity generating, destroying the environment coal plant bandwagon, just so you know, I live in California, and I guess as of 2005, California had 10 coal-fired generating plants at eight locations in 2005. And I don't know that there's that many anymore. But the capacity of these coal plants generated 0.7% of the state's total electric generating capacity.

So not a lot. So you got to figure there's a hydroelectric power. there's wind power, there's solar power, there's nuclear power. So there's a lot of different alternatives to coal-burning facilities, and I think a lot of coal-burning facilities are being phased out in the United States, and a lot of places are starting to turn to alternative sources of energy, which is very helpful to the cause of the electric car. So even though, yes, I will acknowledge that,

that coal burning plants still exist and are not good for the environment. I think we're starting to move away from coal and into other means that support the electric cars in a more organic way. And certainly here in California, we're already at that place. So I hear your argument, but don't get fixated on that argument because I think, you know, this country is moving. towards getting cleaner and greener. So don't be a naysayer. Don't be a Debbie Downer and jump on the whole, you know, don't look for reasons to not want the electric car is what I'm saying.

Because think about it, you know, there's, you know, you're still going to have coal-burning plants and you're still going to have 50 million, you know, or whatever the number is, the vehicles on the roads in North America, spewing out exhaust. So if you can have a few coal-burning plants and still have 50 million vehicles, but they're not spewing out toxic exhaust, well, I think at the end of the day, even though you've got the coal plants, you're still going to come out ahead in terms of emissions and damage to the environment. Now, I'm not an environmental scientist, but that seems to be common sense.

Anyhow, I don't want to get into all the science of it. I'm here more to talk about the car, celebrate the car. And in any ways, it's just very exciting. It's a lot of fun. And, you know, here's hoping that one day everyone can get into one of these. And even if electric cars aren't the answer, what I really is, really like is that finally, after decades and decades of the car kind of being stuck in the same kind of groove, the Tesla and electric cars are starting to change the dynamic, starting to

change the picture for the car making industry. And so that means we might even go beyond electric capacity. Maybe guys will start wrapping their heads around other ways to move vehicles around. That's even less invasive to our environment. and less toxic to our environment So I think it's a good thing Is it perfect no But it's a great step For all of us in a new direction

When it comes to cars And then the last thing I'll say Is what's really cool about this car too Is Because it's so computerized The car, much like a cell phone Is constantly hit with updates So you get in your car

And your dashboard tells you that you have an update and you push it and your car downloads updates. So let's say they've figured out a way to give you longer battery life. Will you press the update? Let's say they have a way to improve your navigation system or your stereo system or your steering system or your suspension or whatever it may be. You just download it.

And there's been word in the media that the next step for the Tesla is, you're going to be able to download a Tesla download that will allow you to be driverless. Your car can drive driverless working on sensors already buried in the car. Hey, we know you probably hit play to escape your business banking, not think about it. But what if we told you there was a way to skip over the pressures of banking? By matching with the TD Small Business Account Manager, you can get the proactive business banking advice and support your business needs. Ready to press play? Get up to $2,700 when you open select small business banking products.

Yep, that's $2,700 to turn up your business. Visit TD.com slash small business match to learn more. Conditions apply. So it's very exciting, very cool, and there you go. My Tesla has landed. So I'm going to be out there driving it, having fun, and if anything interesting comes up with the car, I will keep you posted.

And man, is it fast? I mean, that Tesla, when you hit the accelerator, there's no transmission, there's no changing gears. It's just a surge of electric power. And you, I think the car goes from zero to 60 in 3.1 seconds or something. It literally pushes your head back into the seat. It's quite phenomenal.

So a lot of great things. Maybe you want to go test drive one. Even if you don't have the money, they're not going to ask you. You could go to a Tesla dealership and go get behind the wheel and see for yourself. So there you go. That's my story so far. And I'll keep you posted as I'm driving my Tesla right down the middle of the Harland Highway. I can't believe it's not bother.

Hey, Harlan, is someone on line three? Oh, is it that guy again from the Pet Shop? Fazili or whatever his name is? Yeah, I figured. Okay, yeah, put them through. I don't mind. Hello, Fazili. Are you there, sir?

Hello, Harlan. How are you? I'm good, sir. You're back on the line. Yes, I forgot to tell you something about the ob. I was talking about my burca at the fish and poopies. Yes, your fish and poopies, a pet shop. Fish and poopies.

You had fish and puppies. That's right. You said puppies. I said fish and poopies. Well, you just said the same thing, sir. I want to tell you that I forgot to mention that we were talking about the burkas, the goldfish with the burkas, their eyes coming out of the borcas. Yes, the burqa, the Middle Eastern wardrobe, the Afghani wardrobe, where you can just see the eyes. on a woman?

Yes, we also have on sale for just a limited time only for the next three weeks. We have the owl burga. The what, sir? The owl burka. The owl, what?

The owl burca, the owl up in the tree. Hoo! who, who, who, who, who! Oh, owl! Yes, we have the owl burqa. I'm not, I'm not sure what you mean. sir. Well, the owls, they have the very big eyes. They have the big eyes. They sit up in the pine tree.

They sit up in the cedar tree. They sit up in the birch tree and they go to big eyes. They got, yes, the owls have very, very, very big eyes. Exactly. So we sell in order to try and bring the two cultures together, Middle East Grand North American culture. Not only do we have the underwater burqa for the goldfish, but we also, if you live in a neighborhood where you have owls up in the trees. Yeah, many, many people in North America, it's common to have owls up in their trees. Exactly, and we want to put a burqa on the owl so their big eyes can stick out,

and people like the owls, people got used to the burqa. owl up in the tree, who wearing the borka, and their big eyes sticking out of the borka. Yeah, I guess so. I think that would kind of look a little scary. Well, what's scary, Mr. Williams, is that there is a divide between North American culture and the Middle Eastern culture. Okay. So we have to get over our fears.

And if we see an owl with the big eyes and the borka, we go, oh, look, there is an owl. I'm familiar with the owl. Oh, what is the owl wearing a borka from the middle of eastern country? Fratis wearing the old, the great horny owl is wearing an Afghanistan borka. Okay. And I cannot see all of the owl, but I can see the owl's eyes big, big, big, big. eyes sticking, shining in the moonlight through the Borgica. Okay, so that the, the owl's eyes are sticking through the burqa, and people are going to, isn't that going to be weird looking up into a pine tree?

And there's a wild owl wandering around on the branches in a burqa? Well, Mr. Williams, if you can come up with another idea to help you know, bridge the divide between the two cultures. I'm all ears. But for now, I've got the big-eyed goldfish with the underwater a burqa. And now we special on sale for three week only, we have the wild owl burqa. Okay, and how much is an owl burqa? $475 for just a one.

Wow, that sounds a little outrageous. Well, that's because we are cornered the market. Not many people make the barker for the owl. No, I don't think anybody's making burkas for owls. And later in the year, for those of you who like to go underwater, under snorkeling or deep sea diving, we make a burqa for the giant squid. Did you say the giant squid?

Yes, the giant squid, according to the Guinness Booker. of world record, have the biggest eye of any living organism on the planet Earth. Are you, yeah, I think that that is a scientific fact. The giant squid apparently has the biggest eye of any living creature on the planet. And so imagine you are underwater, you are snorkelling, you are in deep, see a diving, the bubbles are coming up, and all of a sudden you see giant squid, by. Okay. But instead of just

swimming by with all his eight legs hanging out all messy and sloppy. Right. You see giant squid go by, but all you see is his giant five-foot eye sticking out of the squid borka.

So you're making you're making giant squid burkas? Just in an attempt to try and help people get used to seeing the borka. And then when they see the goldfish in the borca, they see the owl up in the tree, who in the borca.

And then they go underwater, swimming, having time in the bubbles. They see the giant squid, the seven-foot eyes sticking out of the borga. Okay, you know what? It's a cockamamie idea, Fazizel. But I guess no one else is really doing anything to kind of help bridge this gap, as you say? Precisely. So I just wanted to call back, let you know of all the exciting things we are doing without

the borga. Are you having trouble saying burqa? Sometimes when I say burqa too much, I get the tongue tied, you know? I understand. It's a tricky word. And maybe later next year we are working on a thing for the children. Okay. It's kind of like a Dr. Shoes type thing.

You know Dr. Seuss? Yeah, Dr. Seuss. He did green eggs and ham and the Lorax. Yes, and later in the year for the kids, we are going to do the orca. You know what the orca is? The orca, the killer whale? Yes, we are going to do for the kids,

the orca in the borka. The orca in the borka. In the burqa. Yes, we're going to do orca in the borca. So then the kids go out to do whale watching. They are eating a sandwich on the edge of a boat, and they kill out whale or the orca come up. He's completely covered in the borka.

And maybe we even talk to SeaWorld and so when Willie or whatever the stupid whales names are. Well, they're not stupid. Well, they always give it the whale a stupid name, like Okeechoki or Shimo or something. But whatever it is, the fish, the orca, they jump up in the water, at the sea world. They touch the ball hanging in the air. The train is right around on the back of the orca. And now, to help people see, we put the orca in a borca. Okay, I get you, I think you're reaching now.

Well, maybe I'm reaching across the ocean to help bridge the divide between Arabian, Saudi, Arabian, and North American culture. Are you okay? Sorry, I had to hit myself. I thought I heard that, yes. So that is all for now. Orca in the borka, owl in the borka, giant squid in the borka, and of course our goldfish in the underwater barker. Okay, well, thank you for the update, Fazizel, and let us know how it goes.

100%. I have some customers now. I have to go. We'll talk to you soon. Happy Borka and God bless America, United States of America. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Goodbye.

Wow. Is he gone? Yeah. Okay. Boy, some pretty far out ideas there, but, you know, he might have a point. I mean, that piece of wardrobe, the burqa is very intimidating, and maybe he's got a point to soften the effects of the burqa. Maybe if we start putting some of our most belmontia.

loved cutest, you know, pets and critters into the burqa. It'll help people adapt. So why not, right? Thank you for calling in. And, boy, we kind of used up a lot of time on that call. We are at the end of the show. So let's call it. And, boy, thanks for being here, everybody.

let's see if I have any announcements, announcements to make right here right to now. If you want to write to me, you can write to me at Harlandwiliams.com, or you can call me. There is a phone number at Harlandwiliams.com right there on the homepage. It's 323-739, 43330, and you can leave me your thoughts, your comments, your insult, your praise. You can breathe heavy. You can whistle. Whatever you want to do. It's just a voice machine, so you're not going to be talking to anyone. And if I like your message, I'll put it on the show. How about that? And I encourage the ladies to call in. We don't get enough for the girl, the woman folk, calling into the show. Don't be shy, ladies. Just so you know,

one wonderful lady called in from Florida not too long ago, and I ended up going to her work and spending the day at Bush Gardens with her. So who knows, ladies, you call in and maybe I'll spend the day with you at your work. You just don't know. So don't be shy. Don't be shy around me. I own a Tesla. Okay?

Do not fear the Tesla. Anyways, let's get to some stand-up comedy gigs. We're going to move right over into April because I have. I don't have anything going in March here. But starting in April, April 9th to the 11th, I will be at Hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio. Great Club. Come on down. Then later in the month, I will be in Nova Scotia at the Halifax Comedy Festival.

One night only, April 22nd. Get your tickets. You can go to my website, harlomwilums.com, click on the stand-up tour link, and you can book your tickets. It's right through there. Then on April 23rd to the 25th, I am in Connecticut at Comics with an X Comics. Get your tickets for there. And then the following week, April 30th to May 2nd, I will be in Ontario, Canada, and the nation's capital, Ottawa, the Ottawa Yuck Yuck Yucs.

And then, dare I go into May, I will be at a club in Buffalo. in May 7th to May 10th. And I'll give you more information about that as we get closer. So it's a club called Helium. It's a great club May 7th. So yeah, man, check it out. Thanks for being here. And I look forward to the next show with you guys.

Tell your friends to get on the Harlan Highway. Thank you so much for being. here. Until next time, chicken chamehamee, baby.