The Harland Highway - 660 - Actress JENNIFER GARNER calls the show. Remembering Mr. Spock.

Episode Date: March 30, 2015

Gorgeous actress Jennifer Garner calls into the show. A very unusal Mr. Spock tribute. And, lets stop exploting the weak. Spock a tic toc clock!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Too shy to shy, hush, hush. Shut your pie. No, I won't shut my pie because I need to talk. This is the Harland Highway podcast, and I'm your host, Alan Williams. So strap on your boots and your snowshoes and let's go. Welcome, everybody. Great to have you here. This is the Harlan Highway podcast. I'm Harlan Williams. And today, interesting show, we're going to talk. a little bit about extreme charity promotions. I saw one of the most horrific commercials I've ever seen, and I've got to talk about it. I'm pissed off about the manipulative way they're trying to tug at our heartstrings to get our dollars. Also, we're getting a call from a very famous celebrity, gorgeous celebrity, Jennifer Garner.

Wife to Ben Affleck will be calling in. Unbelievable. She's gorgeous. She's a Hollywood friend of mine. We've got her calling in. We're going to have a nice chat with Jennifer Garner. I think you all know her. She's just stunning. I love this girl. So can't wait for her to call in. And then we're going to be talking about the passing of Leonard Nimoy, Mr. Spock, and one of the strange tributes that Canadians are doing to Mr. Spock. So here we go. Live Long and Prosper. This is the Harland. Highway! Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the Harland Highway. I promise you, I will please you all. Believe me. What is he like? What's he going, anyway? Oh, he's an angel.

He's an angel. He's an angel. You're going to need a bigger pose. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Why don't you give me a name and a face and a reason why? Oh man, what do you expect the guy that's jigolo, man? It's over, Jenny. It's over.

Nothing is over! You just don't turn it off. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. Weird. Just plain weird. You know what I mean? I'm still alive.

I'll tell you what I won't give you, you muckers. I won't give you the satisfaction of saying that I'm sorry. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh, you get your money's worth. Believe me. Hello? Hello? Harland, Eric from San Diego.

Hey man, if you ever run into or know Jennifer Garner, do me a favor. Ask her if she farts because that will totally ruin it for me, even though farts are super fucking funny. But if she does fart, I'll have to go back to Meg Ryan because I know she does not fart. So just ask her. You don't have to say it.

a question from you just say it's one of your pavement pounders but uh i love you man and i know you can do this for me thanks oh yeah man no worries at all listen you know me i live in hollywood a hobnob with the celebs and uh jennifer garner is in my uh is in my uh phone right here in my uh roger i'm sending this through to you yes yeah call her up and uh let's get her on the line if One of my pavement pounders needs to know answers. I got to provide them. All right. Yeah, dial it up.

So Roger's dialing the number right now, and hopefully she's there. We'll talk to Jennifer Garner on the phone. Yeah, it's ringing. Okay. She's on? Okay, here we go. Hi, Jan, are you there? Hi, Harland.

How are you? I'm great. How's it going? Oh, my God. It's so good to talk to you. You too. It's been a while. I know.

I think the last time I saw you was at the, I think it was the Breast Awareness Foundation charity we did down in, I think it was down at the Man's Chinese Theater. Yeah, that's right. We were down there.

There was a bunch of people there, a bunch of celebs. We were raising money for breast cancer awareness. Oh, my God. It was so funny. Me and Ben get such a kick out you. Well, thanks, Jen. How's everything? How's the family? How's the career? Oh, my God. It's crazy.

I've just been doing some movies on the side, trying to keep the kids together. You know, Ben's been off writing. He's writing, getting ready to direct his next movie and stuff. Wow, you guys are the ultimate Hollywood duo. Oh, please stop it. How long have we known each other? I don't know must be what 14 years now wow wow wow wow oh my god we have to get together you want to get together for coffee sooner absolutely let's let's figure something out but i i uh called you today because as you know i do my podcast oh my god the harland highway yes oh my god i listen to it in the car oh my god the kids love it too although sometimes you get a little dirty i know i'm sorry jan It's okay. You're hilarious.

You are just, you are hilarious. That Dr. Debbie timer that you do, hilarious. Thank you. So what's going on? Well, one of my callers called in, and pardon me for asking this, but we're friends, I thought I could ask you. Yeah, whatever. He wanted to know if you farted. What?

Yeah, he wanted to know if you farted. farted. Oh my God. That is so red. You want to know if I fart? Yes, I know. It's, it's... Of course not. Oh, my God. No, I didn't think so. And he didn't think so either. And he would have been like grossed out if you did. What was that? What? I thought I heard something. Oh, we're driving. We're driving. I guess we had a pothole or something. Oh, wow. So anyways, he, he would have been like, Totally like, I don't know, skizzied out if you were like a farter. No way. Are you kidding? I don't fart. God. What was that?

What? I thought I heard a noise just now. I don't know. Is your phone broken or something? I don't. Maybe it is. So you don't fart. Never.

Never. I mean, oh, my God. How gross. I mean, I don't want to sound obnoxious, but. I am like a Hollywood starlet. True. I mean, you are one of the most gorgeous girls out there. We knock it off, Arland.

Well, we're friends. I'm not coming on to you. I know that. Well, you just, you know how pretty I think you are. Silly. Silly, silly, silly, silly, silly, Harland. So, oh, wait, what was that?

What? What? What? I thought I heard. Oh. Uh-oh. What are those noises? That's probably the kids banging stuff in the background.

We have a we have a gardener putting up a fence and he's hammering. Oh, I thought you were in the car. Um, we were sitting in the car. Yeah, when, um, when you called, I was sitting in the car, but then I got out. You, what do you mean? You're just sitting in the, in the garage? Yeah. Me and the kids like to sit in the garage and sit in the car

and mommy pretend she's driving, you know, that game? I don't think I know that game. Oh! Oh, whoa! Ooh, whoops a daisy. What was that? Okay, you know what, Harland. What, Jan?

Maybe I... Oh, God, I can't believe this. What? Those are my kids. kids farting. Are your kids? Yeah, can you believe it? Those sound like adult farts, Jen.

They do? Yeah, those sound too strong to be... How old are your kids? They're like three and five. Yeah, those weren't... Those weren't kid farts. Those had some muscle behind them. Okay.

You know what you got me? I fart. Okay? You want to hear one? Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, you called me. Yeah, we did, but the gist of the call is that you don't fart.

Oh, my God, what was that? Well, you know, I just took the kitchen for bean burritos and Taco Bell Grande over at Taco Bell. So, so what, it caught me on a bad day. Wow. Does Ben know about this? Oh, my God, Ben, you know the little dimples in my cheeks? Yeah, they're like your trademark. They're like two little holes in the side of your cheeks.

When you smile, those dimples are adorable. Yeah, well, Ben calls him my extra assholes because when I... He does what? He calls him my extra assholes because when I get into the Taco Bell, I fart up the storm, and his joke is, oh, my God, you're farting so much. What, do you have three assholes? Oh, my God. Yeah, he pretends.

I fart out of my dimples. Oh, ooh. Yeah, and, uh, he, well, I get them back. How do you get them back exactly? Have you ever heard of a Dutch oven? Oh, God, yeah. Well, how about a Norwegian fucking Greenland oven? How about that?

Whoa, what is that? Oh, a Dutch oven is when you fart under the sheets and pull them up over your partner's head, right? Yes, of course. Well, a Norwegian Greenland oven. is when you fart like seven or eight times and you pull the blankets up until their eyes start bleeding. Oh, God. You want to hear one?

No, I don't think we do. Hang on, let me, let me smile, get my three assholes all in a line. Please don't, Jan. Our caller doesn't want that, and I don't want it. I don't give a crap. You called me. Here it comes.

Hold on. Oh, oh, oh, here it comes. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Good Lord. Oh, my God. How do you like that? Oh, my, hold on.

Who? Who's on the line? Great, now we got Meg Ryan on the line. Oh, my God, I love Meg Ryan. Is she there? Put her through, Roger. Hello, Meg. Hi, how are you?

Dave Harland. Great. How are you? What's going on? Well, I wasn't going to let Jen get away with doing all the farts. I want to toot into the situation. What are you talking about? Hold on.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my God, did she just fart? Yeah, I did, Jen. You're not getting all the farts. Oh, my God. Screw you, bitch. Hang on. Oh.

Oh. Oh, you think that, that's nothing. How about this? Oh, well, up yours, biotch? Fuck on this. Oh, why don't you suck up? Would you, girls, stop it? What the hell is going?

Are you having a fart war? I'm doing a podcast here, and you two are having a fart war? Well, you called us, Harlan. Yeah, you called us. I didn't call. you, Meg Ryan, you called us. Yeah, well, I'm not going to let her get away. You know, in Hollywood, us actresses, we have to fight.

Okay, we have to fight for our position in the pecking order. And I'll be goddamned if I'm going to let Jennifer Affleck Gardner call in and steal my fart ground. What are you talking about? Oh, that's it. It's on. Suck on this, Ryan. Oh, you bet you little bionch. Have a machine gun fight. Here we go.

Oh, you son of a bitch. You know what? I was saving this for Ben tonight. But why don't you suck on my Orville Redenbocker popcorn fart? Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Stop it, girls. Hold on, Harlan. I got one more.

How about this? How about a broccoli, Marie calendars, olive garden stuff, shrimp souffle, thunderblaster. How about that? Mm-hmm. Oh, oh. Oh, you. Son of a bitch.

Stop. Hang up on them, Roger. Hang up. Hang on. I got an Eskimo pot. Hang up. Oh, my God. Holy crap.

That is unacceptable. Are you, Meg Ryan and Jennifer Garner having a fart war on my show? We got to do better than this guy. Are they gone good? Wow. It's always like I never think. my podcast can hit a new low and then it does it bottoms out and you're not helping the cause roger okay i'll tell you that much because you let these calls through and you should probably

disconnect these calls way before you do and sometimes i think you actually like it so there you go my pavement pounder caller that called in Eric from San Diego I hope your question is answered I hope you're happy you know why couldn't people call in and have like really like cool questions like the meaning of life

or uh you know what are black holes or something deep and probing I get does Jennifer Garn and Meg Ryan fart. Oh, my God. Well, hey, I guess that's the beauty of my answering machine.

And if you want to call in with your deep and probing questions, whatever they may be, 323-739-4-330, 3-3-3-9-4-3-3-0. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No? Yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better. sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering

50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a clickaway. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire.

Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So, be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. The Harland Highway. Crazy news story. That's weird. Wow. That's strange stuff.

Here it comes. I love this crazy news story. Anything that involves Star Trek. Makes me laugh. Okay, so we all know that Mr. Spock, Leonard Nimoy, just died recently within the last month. Very sad, iconic pop culture figure, actor, all-round good guy, but best known for his role on Star Trek

as Spock, the Emotionless Vulcan. And, you know, no one can forget that crazy haircut and the pointy ears and the fingers up, the Liblong and Prosper. So he's a beloved character worldwide, I think it's fair to say. And when he died, Canadians, and this is why I'm kind of proud to be. be a Canadian, I guess, because we have a weird sense of humor if you haven't figured it out

yet. Most Canadian comedians have kind of, there's an element of the bizarre and the nutty and the twisted. And I think that's something that runs through Canadians in general. And, okay, kill the music, Raj. Yeah, I'm trying to get through this story. Now, kill it. Roger. Geez. So what happened is Leonard Nimoy passed away and as a tribute to Leonard Nimoy to Mr. Spock.

Canadians took the Canadian $5 bill, okay? And on the $5 bill, there is a picture of one of Canada's older prime ministers. All right? It's Canada's seventh Prime Minister, Sir Wilford.

He is featured on the $5 bill. It's a blue note, cash note, or whatever you'd call it. And there's several versions of him on it. There's one where there's a front profile of them. There's one where there's a three-quarter profile. But it doesn't matter. What happened is Canadians as a tribute to Leonard Nimoy and his life and his work, they started doing something called Spocking the Canadian $5 bill.

And basically what you do is you get a Sharpie and a black Sharpie and you color in Sir Wilford Laurier's hair and you cover over his hair with that crazy hairdo that Spock had, the black, the jet black bangs, the dumb and dumber bangs cut across the front. and then you draw on like the pointed ear and then you draw on the big crazy like kind of pointed eyebrows and lo and behold Sir Wilford Laurier resembles Mr. Spock and I actually had to go up to Canada

right during the week that Mr. Leonard Nimoy died I had to go up there and do some work at a comedy club and I saw this story and I just started laughing. They had some pictures of some Spocked $5 bills on the internet. And I just started cracking up. One, because it was like such a Canadian thing to do, such a goofy Canadian sense of humor type of thing.

And two, it just looks so ridiculous. I mean, it looks, he actually looks like Mr. Spock. So if you want to, if you want to see what it looks like, just jump on to Google and to type in Spocked Canadian $5 bill or $5 Canadian bill

Spocked and I'll be honest man as soon as I saw it one of the first things I did when I got to my hotel I'm not this is the absolute truth I took out the only $5 Canadian $5 bill I had in my wallet and I spocked it immediately

and I sent a text I sent a picture of it to my cousin who lives in Toronto so we could have a laugh about it. And I drew the little hand sticking up with the live long and prosper and I did the black shiny hair and the eyebrows and the pointy ear. I was rather proud of myself. But I just started laughing out loud when I saw this. And I thought, man, if Leonard Nimoy's up in heaven,

I hope he's got a sense of human because it is kind of. kind of hilarious. And what's funny is the Canadian government came out, and, you know, it's illegal to draw on money in the United States. It's actually illegal to draw on the cash in the U.S., but in Canada, it's not. And so the Canadians, being the friendly, polite country that they are, came out with a statement. The government put out a statement, they're like,

Dear Citizens of Canada Although it is not illegal To draw on our money Please don't draw Mr. Spock On our money Or something along I remember reading it in the paper And I was like

It was so friendly and like It's kind of like You know like a farmer came out And says hey would you mind Not walking on my grass there I just planted some grass seed there hey Yeah if you don't mind But if you have to go ahead

And while you're at it Please don't draw Leonard Nimoy on the five-dollar bill there, hey. So a little piece of a Canadian culture that ties into American culture because Leonard Nimoy was American, but just as beloved up in Canada as he was all over the world. So I don't know. Maybe I'm tempted to maybe break the law and maybe Spock an American bill.

I wonder if there's an American bill and you could spock it. Who's on the American money that can be spocked? Let me pull out my wallet here. Let's see. On the $5 American bill, oh, we got Abraham Lincoln on the front. And then on the $1 bill, we have George Washington. And that's kind of sad. All I have in my wallet is,

A $5 bill and a $1 bill. What's that say about my life? But you know what? While I'm here, I'm not really doing this, wink, wink, because it's a legal wink, wink, wink. I'm going to grab a Sharpie, and I'm going to spock these two bills and see which one comes out, even though I'm not really doing it, wink, wink. Okay, I've got my Sharpie.

Roger, give me a little spocking music, even though I'm not really doing this. But give me a little spocking music where I pretend to spock the American $5 and $1 bill. Okay, let's start with the five, with Abraham Lincoln on the front. And so I've got my imaginary Sharpie, Black Sharpie, because I'm not really doing this. So here I go. I'm pretending to draw wink, wink on Abraham Lincoln. Here I go. Okay, the hair is almost done.

Hair is done. Now the imaginary ears, wink, wink. Okay, imaginary ears. Now the imaginary eyebrows. Ooh, okay. And then Abraham's got that little beard. He's got like a little goatee, so I'm going to like make it a little pointier. Well, I'm not really going to do it.

I'm just going to kind of imagine doing it. And, you know, maybe I'll put the fake, you know, I'm not really doing it. I'll put the fake Live Long and Prosper hand up there. Okay, there we go. I've pretended wink-wink to Spock Abraham Lincoln. Now I'm going to do George Washington. He's a little tougher because on the $1 bill he's got like a really small head. So let's see how this looks even though I'm not really doing it

because it's illegal. And I got the ears, got to put the little eyebrows. Yeah, yeah, not, I got to say the, even though I didn't really do it, the, the, the, uh, the one dollar bill, a disaster, but I got to say the five. $5 bill. Not bad. Not bad. You know, it's kind of close. If you practice a little and you do it right, I think you might get away with sparking the $5 bill, but I'm not recommending it because it's illegal. I wouldn't want you to go to jail. What's your daddy in jail for? Oh, man, he was sparking. Yeah. Yeah, he'd do it 25 year up in San Quentin, man. They call him sparking behind a, behind the Denny's down in

Oakland, man. Yeah. Yeah, to catch him behind the Denny's with a shoppy, and he'd just be laying out on the sidewalk doing some sparking and whatnot. So there you go. That's the crazy news story for today.

Long live Leonard Nimoy, long live the $5 bill, and everybody live long and prosper. One cheeseburger with that. Everything coming up. Okay, I've had it. I've absolutely had it. You've heard me before talking about these TV commercials

where they try to tap into people's emotions. You know, they show the kid with the cleft lip, they show the kid with no legs, they show the kid with flies on his eyes, they show the puppy with a saw blade through his face, they show, you know, someone using babies for shark bait. I mean, it's just, it's ridiculous. I get it that every, you know,

there's people in this world that are suffering and have ailments and they need help. Of course, we want to reach out and help, and people should. But I've complained before that there's ways to do it and there's ways not to do it. And one method that's used is it's very manipulative, where they show people crying and this and that.

And it's just like, you know, Come on. And then there's the new method that they're using a lot now, which is the shock value, where I just told you they show kind of horrific, disfigured people. You know, people with missing body parts and disfigured faces. Well, this is where I just hit the wall, okay? I'm watching a show the other day.

And for some reason, these commercials, by the way, are always five times as long as the most. milk and bread and tampon commercials. Those commercials, 30 seconds to a minute, the disfigured human beings and mutilated pets commercials seemed to be about 20 minutes long. So I'm watching a show the other day. I'm not kidding.

They showed a commercial of a burnt baby. Okay? It must have been a, I don't know, They showed baby pictures, and then they showed the baby a little older, like three, four years old. And I'm telling you, man, I was, you know, God bless if there's a burnt baby, of course it needs help. But here it is in the middle of the day and full HD color on my TV, and they've got this baby stretched out with nothing on. I think it had like a diaper, and they're holding it up. and they're washing it and it looks

it looks like something out of a horror movie this poor unfortunate baby its flesh is just pink and its face is burnt beyond recognition I mean it was one of the most horrific things I've ever seen and it actually turned my stomach I couldn't change the channel fast enough

and I thought this isn't right This isn't right. There's a way to present people that need help, that need charity, that need assistance. And there's a way not to do it. There's a method where you're just going to repulse people and it's going to have the reverse effect. And this was just happenstance, but I was sitting in front of my TV eating my lunch or my dinner. I can't remember which one. I had a plate of food.

and here I am watching them prayed around and I would say abuse this burnt extremely disfigured little baby it was sickening I can only imagine what this poor baby went through but to do that to try and I don't know either raise awareness or raise money or whatever it is

they lost me, man. And it's not because I don't want to help. I always like to help. I always do charity work throughout the years. You know, everyone should do that. But A, I was so repulsed. I couldn't look at it. They physically forced me to look away,

so I couldn't watch the commercial. And that's on them. I mean, if you present something so horrific, that people have to look away or turn the channel. You've done a lousy PR job, okay? Because if people are looking away, then they're not seeing the phone number. They're not seeing the address where to send help.

I literally had to turn the channel. And then the second way that they lost me is they're just manipulating me. They're trying to show me stuff so heart-wrenching. and horrible that their mindset is, oh, people will see this half-blown-up baby, and they'll have to send us money. Well, guess what? You're wrong, okay?

There's an etiquette to helping people. There's an etiquette to trying to elicit our support. And there's a diplomatic way to do it. There's a classy way to do it. And if you had maybe shown still photographs, or two or shown part of the baby or even had someone just come on the screen and tell the story about how there's children that suffer from burns

or whatever the ailment was this little baby had. Maybe it wasn't even a fire, but it looked horrible. And so this stuff's got to stop because I think it's not, I think it's not fair to the kids. I don't think it's fair to people watching. on many levels, as I've just explained. And I just, I say there's a better way to do it, and people will always give from their heart. People always have compassion and caring, and people will always give, but you've got to

respect the people that are willing to give and treat them with a little common courtesy and give them the benefit of the doubt that they don't need to see a disemboweled human being smeared all over a high-definition colored television in order to get our attention or our support. Show a little decorum for God's sakes. Believe me, people will help. And as I said, the other way is you alienate people and you lose them by going so far over the top. So there it is. I hate talking about this, but I didn't think that I could be trumped. You know, some of the stuff I've seen on TV, I'm just like, whoa! And then here comes, you know, charcoal broiled, you know, Dairy Queen Blizzard Baby.

And I hate to make a joke about it, but it was so extreme. It's all you can do is just like, what the hell? So there you go. You guys, if you're out there listening, dummy up. Give people a chance to dig into their pockets and treat them. them with a little more intelligence than what you're offering. And on that note, closing, hey, I always say it's always good to share a little, right? If you make some money, even if you don't make a lot of money, even if you can give a little bit

somewhere, somehow, it's not only good for the cause, but it's also good for your heart, it's good for your spirit, it's good for your soul. trust me if you're if you're feeling if you're feeling down you're feeling depressed you're feeling kind of whatever um try giving try handing part of your paycheck over and i'm not talking about you know half of it i'm even twenty dollars ten dollars five dollars it it always feels good to give so i always encourage that and uh whatever your cause is Or even if you see someone in need on the street or something like that, never hurts.

And I think the reward back to you is that you've all done it. You know that feeling you get inside when you give. So just a little reminder. And we don't need burnt babies to be reminded. So there you go. We'll end the show on that little rant. Get that out of my system, man. And wherever that little baby is, I hope it's okay.

God. My goodness. Let's do some announcements. Let's go from the tragic to the joyful. And that's what I try to do with my stand-up comedy, is spread the joy to the good folks of planet Earth and beyond. April, April 9th, Thursday, April 9th through Saturday, April 11th. I'll be in Cleveland at hilarities.

Pickwick and Frolic, the comedy club right downtown there in Cleveland. Amazing club. Great food. They have a great restaurant attached, so you can do a dinner and a show type of thing. Get your tickets at Harlandwilliams.com. Go to my stand-up touring schedule, and you will see it. Also, later on in April, you can see me in Nova Scotia. One Night Only at the Halifax Comedy Comedy.

Festival, Wednesday, April 22nd, and then the very next night I'll be in Connecticut at Comics with an X, C-O-M-I-X Comics Comedy Club, that will be Thursday, April 23rd, through the 25th. And then the last week of April, I'll be in yuck-yucks, Yuck-Yuck-Yucks, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada to May 2nd. And then getting into May, you can catch me at helium. Buffalo, New York, May 7th to the 10th, and then San Diego, the American Comedy Company, and that's going to be May 21st to the 24th. So there you go. A lot of stuff going on. Please check out Harlowelliams.com. Join my YouTube subscription service. You will get free videos sent to you when I put them up. Wacky, weird, wild videos meant to make you laugh.

Free. That's my giving. That's my little thing to give to you. A little something, something to put a smile on your face. And if you want to write me, you can write me there at harloughwilions.com. There's a contact form. And if you want to call me and leave a message, 323739, 43330. That's 323739.

Leave a voicemail if you want. It might get on the show. The numbers at the website. and make sure you check out my digital download. Crowd Control, Volume 3. It's an hour-long digital download of me going at it with live comedy clubs all over the country. Drunks, hecklers, wackos, nut jobs, all interrupting or getting involved in my stand-up comedy show. And the whole download is just the best of moments.

It's only $1.99, and you can download that at my stand-up comedy page or in the store at harlandwilliams.com. I think it'll bring you a lot of laughs. We all need the laughs. So there you go. We are done for today. Our thanks to Jennifer Garner and I guess Meg Ryan for calling in and to our pavement ponder who called in and asked for me to ask Jennifer if she farted.

Yuck. I got to say, I always had a crush on those two ladies. I'm a little iffy on it now. Man, what was it, the merry calendar shrimp stuffed, olive garden thunder blaster or something? Wow. All right, well, we're out of here. Please tell your friends to get on the Harlan Highway, join the podcast, and thank you for being here.

Until next time, everybody, chicken. Chalmy, baby. How about a broccoli, Marie Calendors, olive garden stuff, shrimp souffle, thunderblaster. How about that? Oh, oh. Thank you.