The Harland Highway - 687 - A Pavement Pounder reaches out for advice.

Episode Date: July 6, 2015

In this uniqe episode Harland tries to give sound advice to a Pavement Pounder who asked for it. Shrink with a wink!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Okay, um, hey everybody, welcome to the Harland Highway. It's me, Harlem Williams, your host. I think that's what I am. Um, very unusual podcast today. Um, got a really interesting phone call from one of the pavement pounders who was reaching out who who um who needs a little a little helping hand maybe or a little sound advice or a voice to help push him along on his journey and uh he reached out to me and and so i decided to reach back and offer up what i could to try and give him what he asked for And in doing so, it turned into a very interesting podcast, for me at least. It became a podcast unlike any episode I think I've ever done before.

So it's not kind of as comedic and wacky as we usually are, but I think it's interesting in its own way. And at the very least, maybe even helpful. So, sit down, relax. Here we go. This is a weird installment of the Harland Highway. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the Harland Highway. I promise you, I will please you all.

Believe me. What is he like? What's he going, anyway? Oh, he's an angel. He's an angel stuck from nothing. You're going to need a bigger pose. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Why don't you give me a name?

and a face and a reason why John man what do you expect the guy a chick alone man It's over Johnny

It's over Nothing is over You just don't turn it off You just made a wrong turn On to the Harland Highway It's weird It's just plain weird You know what I mean

I'm still alive I'll tell you what I won't give you you muckers I won't give you the satisfaction is saying that I'm sorry. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh, you get your money for it. Believe me. Hello.

Hello. Harland, Eric, San Diego. Hey, man. I've got a question for you. Hey, since you've been yourself and you have traveled through life from Canada to Hollywood, into movies and all that, but in between all that shit, there had to have been a time in your life where you were completely, completely flat broke, a time where you had no one left to turn to because you have asked everybody around you for help.

This is my situation right now. I've got my truck stolen. I'm sleeping on the floor at one of my best friend's house. was supposed to last three, four weeks. Now it's going on seven, eight weeks. Can't get out of the situation. And I just wondered if you had a story about this, because I need some inspiration, especially from you,

because you have the best advice, great story. great friends, and I think personality goes a long way. And ending up homeless is not an option for me. So I guess that's all I have to say. I just want some insight, my man. Chalmaine, brother. Oh, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric. I said it four or five times.

and boy oh boy i i hate hearing these stories my friend um we've all gone through hard times we all hit low points where it seems like nothing's working we can't catch a break um and sometimes when we get into those situations we allow that negativity to start to define us And we start to let our surroundings, we start to kind of wear that and somehow feel like, oh, maybe I deserve it, or maybe I'm not worthy, or this is what I deserve. So I don't normally like to give out advice, but if people ask me, you know, I'm willing to give it a shot. and it sounds like you asked me and so here's what I'll say to you

there have been times in my life where I didn't have any money the first time was when I was a teenager and you know I was going to high school and all that stuff and my parents weren't really the type that gave us an allowance so I was kind of penniless

and so I got I turned to the dark side and I was a bit of a thief. I wasn't a good guy. I would wait until back in my day when I was a kid, people used to get their milk delivered to their house in milk jugs. And every Tuesday night, people would put their empty milk jugs out so that the milkman who drove through the neighborhood could pick them up in the morning and replace them with new ones.

And these big plastic milk jugs were worth 60 cents a jug. So on Tuesday night around me, midnight, I'd sneak out of the house and wander through the neighborhood and just pick everyone's 60-cent jug off their porch. And before you know it, I had, you know, to 20 or 30 of the damn things. And I suddenly had some money in my pocket, but I realize that's not the way to do things. And when you're a kid, you know, I think everybody's gone down that road. So I'm not suggesting you turned a crime.

But that was one of the times in my life. And then the second time in my life was when I just got out of college. and I was entering the workforce, and, you know, you just don't leave college and suddenly you're a well-paid stand-up comedian or an actor or whatever, almost anything you do. And so I took a job as a carpet cleaner for a day. I took a job as a bus boy for a couple of days. And in the meantime, I was working on my stand-up comedy at night,

not getting paid a cent, and during the day I was writing and illustrating children's books for myself, for myself. And here's where maybe there's an inspirational story for you. Back in the day, the mode of getting published in the children's book world was you had to photocopy your manuscript and photocopy your illustrations and pack them in into an envelope. with a cover letter and send them off to a publisher and hope that they'd reply to you. And so I did that probably, I think I looked up every publisher that did kids books in North America. I mean, I sent out a stack and slowly but surely I got rejection slips. Week after week they kept coming in.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was getting beat down. And I decided I wasn't going to allow myself to get beat down. I wasn't going to allow myself to be rejected. I was like, I'm in this world with everyone else. What I do, what I have to say is just as valid as anyone else. If I write a movie or a book or do a drawing, it has just as much validity as anyone else's.

And if I don't push for me, who will push for me? who will push for me. So on my very last rejection letter, I remember reading it, and I was just so fed up. I must have had 40 or 50 these things, stacked in a pile. And I remember I just,

I think I grabbed the, I looked for the closest children's book publisher near my parents' house. And it was in a town like 35 miles away. And I just looked it up and I picked up the phone and excuse me and I phoned them and I said hey can I come out there and I want to meet with the publisher and the lady said no you can't come out here that's not how we do it you have to mail your stuff and I knew the song and dance and I was so mad I hung up the phone

I said mom can I borrow your car and I jumped in her car and I drove out there at about four in the afternoon. I drove all the way out to this place. I had my artwork with me. I had my manuscript with me and I just kind of burst in the door and the receptionist was there. She said, can I help you? And I was kind of adamant. And I said, look, I've got a manuscript and I've got some drawings and I want to show them to somebody. And she just looked at me almost amused and said, well, that's not how you do it. You just don't walk in here and, you know, show your stuff. We have a process here. You have to mail it in. I said, I know, but I've done all that, and it's not working.

And as I was kind of in the middle of, you know, going at it with her, this little older man walked out of an office door and said, what's the commotion out here? And I said, look, I got a manuscript and some drawings, and I want to show someone. And the guy looked at me, and I handed him my drawings, and he looked at me again, and he said, okay, wait here for a minute.

I'll see you in a few minutes. And I was like, okay, great. He walked back through a door, and the secretary looked at me completely flabbergast and astonished. And she goes, well, that's pretty good. And I said, what do you mean? She goes, that's the owner of the company. And I said, oh, okay. And I waited for about 20 more minutes.

The guy called me in. He brought his whole staff in. And he sat me down. and we talked and he said, I want to publish your books. And that was it. I ended up doing like eight or, I think eight books with that publishing company. And so my point is, you know, I was naive. I was kind of, I kind of didn't know what I was doing.

But in a way it was good. It taught me a lesson that if you want to get something done, if you believe in yourself, if you're searching for something that you know you're good at it, you believe you're good at. Just go for it. Don't wait around for an answer. Don't wait around for somebody. Stand up, fluff your chest out, and walk into rooms, make phone calls, push your way in front of people, and let them know how determined you are. Let them see that you have some fire. Let them see that you're ready to work, that you have something to offer. Now, I don't know what kind of work you do,

but in every field, there's people that rise to the top, and there's people that are like worker bees. And maybe this moment in your life where you're kind of in this setback has a silver lining wherein you can take a step back from the way you used to live your life and your old approach to work and living and maybe you can take this moment to redefine who you are

and redefine your energy and your approach and change some old habits and create new ones. And I think you'll find if you put honest energy into finding work every day getting up and doing something And even if it means, and pardon me for saying this, but there's honor and work, even if it means working a Taco Bell every day from nine to five until something else clicks, even if it means painting houses, whatever it is, there's honor in doing hard work. And, you know, like I said, sometimes you can't just walk into doing exactly what you want. but as a living, functioning, intelligent human being, there's no reason why you can't get a temporary job

filling the gap between what you really want to do. You know, you're physically able, you're mentally able, and I would never want to think of you as a person who relied on excuses and a lack of motivation. And if you are unmotivated, if you can look at yourself in the mirror honestly and say, you know what, I am a bit of a slacker. I'm not giving it 100%. Then that's on you.

And you have to shed the skin you're in like a snake and grow a new skin and take a winning approach, a positive approach towards who you are. and what you want to do and what you want to be in the world. And I know this is kind of heavy, but you did ask. But see, I heard a little bit of this in your phone call. Can't get out of the situation. See, I detect in your voice, and pardon me if I'm wrong, but I'm just being honest. I detect a little bit of a defeatist attitude in your voice.

and just in your choice of words, I can't get out of my situation indicates that you're conceding defeat and you can't be in a place. Your truck was stolen, yep, but now you've got to deal with it. You don't have money in your pocket? Well, how do you get money in your pocket?

You've got to start problem solving you've got to start applying yourself and you can't say I can't you got to say I will and you can sit around and fool yourself you can kind of go oh it's not that easy and I wish it was that easy and well I hear what he's saying

but you know this is where I'm at in life don't hold on to that man you it's I don't know if you've ever worked out if you've ever had a little bit of belly fat or your arms were flabby and you went to the gym for a month and you thought you know what I'm going to change this body and you went to the gym and you started working out or maybe it wasn't you maybe it was a friend or a family member and they used to be out of shape and they committed to go into the gym and they reshaped their body and you were like wow well it's the

same thing with your life if you commit if you put in the time and the effort and really believe in yourself, there is no, I can't. There's only I will and I shall, and then later on, I did. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what, you want it to be better, not worse.

Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item, free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. All will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait. Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code

Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping. code harland have fun don't throw your back out so i hope that isn't too preachy or too heavy for you my friend but i am trying to be an inspiration to you as you asked me to be and i hope those words help you know i read a book once called go for it when i was a when i was a young you know young guy probably 20 years old it was some doctor wrote a self-help book called go for it i'd never read a self-help book before my life. My girlfriend at the time's mother gave it to me.

And I thought it was ridiculous and I was going to throw it away and I started to read it and I couldn't believe how pumped up it got me. And I'll never forget one of the passages in the book that I'll share with you. These are her words, not mine.

She said, picture yourself as the captain of a boat going across the ocean. and the ocean is your life and your boat is you and the only one that can steer that boat the only one that can make you go right or left or into the storm or around the storm or into the sunset or into the whirlpool is you and those words really resonated with me because it's true. We're here for a short time.

And, you know, if you really want to be something in life, if you really want to go somewhere in life, you're the one controlling your destiny. And you can't be shy. You can't let people tell you no. I know you've probably heard that before, and maybe you've just gone, yeah, right, you can't let people tell you know, whatever.

Well, I'm going to challenge you. Instead of just rolling your eyes and letting that slide off your back, why don't you try testing people? Why don't you figure out what you want and start throwing it in people's faces? If you want to be a mechanic at a garage, walk into a garage and ask to see the fucking owner. And say, my name's Eric. I want to work here. Yeah, I'm a great mechanic.

Or whatever it is you do, if you're a singer, go to a club and say, I need to play here. I'm going to challenge you to push yourself and your agenda into the face of other human beings. And you'll be surprised. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to be rejected. Just keep pushing. Because the other option is what? You just want to keep laying on your friend's floor for another four weeks, six weeks, eight weeks.

Don't wake up in the morning and slump to the kitchen and pour a coffee. Wake up in the morning. You ever see these people that run in the morning, the joggers, their alarm goes off and they put on their tight little jogging clothes and they're outside and they're looking at their watch and even at the stoplight when they're waiting for the light to turn color. They're jogging up and down. Be that guy, man.

Light a fire under your own ass. And you're going to be astounded at the result. results. Because I could be wrong and forgive me, but I'm detecting by the tone in your voice and by the tone of your message that maybe you're letting yourself drag a little. You've got some anchors tied to your legs and to your mind, to your psychology. Cut it all loose, cut it all loose and step into that new skin and fucking walk indoors

and walk up to people and fluff your chest out and demand from the world what you want demand from other people what you want and if 50 people say no maybe number 51 says yes and I'm living proof because I've done it

I did it when I first got out of college and I've done it my whole career and I've gotten results and if you read about people who have gotten results in life they have the same attitude and there's no shame in it there's no shame in pushing there's no shame in believing in yourself in fact it's the opposite you you respect yourself when you believe in yourself you have honor you have dignity you have self-respect don't let anybody or anything beat you down to the point where you feel you kind of had it coming or it's too insurmountable because it's really not it's only it's only going to be what you make it to be

nothing from nothing equals nothing let me ask you a question and you don't have to answer it you don't have to phone back but i'm going to i'm going to press you a little bit when you wake up in the morning in the situation you're in, and I sympathize you're going through some hard times, would you say out of a scale from 1 to 10, you wake up every morning and give it 100% to try and get yourself out of the situation you're in? Would you say you give it 80%, 50%, 40%, 32%, 10%, 10%, 10%? And you've got to look in the mirror and you should go ask yourself that. Look in the mirror tonight.

Staring your own eyes in the mirror and say, what am I given myself? When I wake up, what am I given myself in the morning? What percent am I given myself in the world to rise up to where I want to be? and if that answer ain't anywhere near a hundred then you're you're kind of to blame and i hate to dump that on you but like i said you're steering your own ship man so there you go that's a little you know psychological advice now here's some practical advice and you know when i was coming up trying to make a buck in the world and get my footing. I lived in a world where you had to mail stuff and make phone calls.

And now we have this wonderful tool called the Internet, where you can reach the whole friggin' world. And we have website machines out there. There's a site called wicks.com, where I built my website. If you want to go see it, wicks.com. go to Harlandwilliams.com, but Wix.com, you can build an incredible website for free. And if you want to upgrade it, you can pay a small fee, but you can add a store to it, you can add videos to it, you can do everything.

And we have a world now where you could, I've seen shows like Shark Tank, and I've read stories and papers where people are cooking doggy biscuits in their own kitchen. People are milling soap. People are doing artwork. People are knitting fabrics. People are finding strange and peculiar rocks. And they're building websites. And they're selling this stuff all over the world.

They're making a living. There's young kids making a living, a good living, putting ridiculous videos on YouTube. So what I'm saying is that there's no limitation to what you can do. If you have a passion, if you have a hobby, if you have something you're really good at, maybe try building a website and turning your passion into a career. Because there's nothing more rewarding than working on something that you would probably be doing anyways because then it's not even like working. Let me give you one more example and then I'm going to let it go.

my little sister Barbara two years ago maybe two and a half years ago I went home for Christmas to visit the family and we went out to dinner and she has two little girls now she has a new third little girl and we were just talking

and she kind of let it slip that she wasn't happy and I said what do you mean? She goes well I'm not happy with what I'm doing it's not what I want to be doing I feel like life's passing me by a little bit and I said, well, what do you want to be doing? She said, well, I want to be selling my artwork. And I said, oh, okay.

And I said, well, why aren't you? She goes, well, I can't. I don't have time. I can't do that. And I challenged her. I said, why not? She goes, you know, I'm just busy. I work.

I have two daughters, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I had seen some of her artwork pieces. They're really great. And I said, well, those are some. great excuses, but now what's the real story? Why aren't you selling, why aren't you making your artwork? And she kind of

just kept falling on the same sword, saying she didn't have time, she didn't have the energy, and I said, well, nothing from nothing equals nothing. And right there in the store, I said, I'm going to challenge you. It was December, and I said, I don't think there's any reason in the

world that by July I, okay, seven months from now, you can't have six pieces of artwork done. And she rolled her eyes, and she was, and I said, no, I'm challenging you. I'm calling you out on it. And she said, well, okay. And I said, and you're going to sell them. You're going to create a website, and you're going to take them around and blah, blah, blah.

and she just didn't believe in it. But because I challenged her, she took me up on the challenge. And sure enough, I think seven months later, I think she had something like 12 or 14 pieces done. And guess what? She went to an art fair, and she sold a couple. And then she went to another art fair,

and she sold like five or six. And then she started making more and more. And this was a girl that was ready to let it, go was ready to just let it die on the vine or never give it the shot that it deserved and uh and all it took was someone to push her all it took was was her to believe in herself and so i guess that's what i'm asking of you or i'm suggesting to you good sir because i don't like to hear you in the state you're in i feel for you man and look at this i've dedicated the whole show to you So, you know, I certainly care.

And I know that down inside of you, there is, you know, there is the strength and the power for you to be what you want to be. And whether it happens in two days or two years, it's there. You got to believe in it. So from here on in, here's my challenge to you. Look in the mirror tonight. ask yourself how much you're really giving to get yourself up and into a better place and if that number's low

the next morning you need to step into a new skin and introduce yourself to the new you and go out and get what you want okay there it is I'll leave it right there my God

again You asked me for advice and that's it. It could be completely wrong. It could be completely right. It could be somewhere in the middle. But I'm drawing off of my own life, my own experiences. And, you know, I just, I hope in some way it inspires you or gives you even a little nugget of finding the right path. But I certainly believe in you.

And I hope, I hope a year from now, maybe even sooner, But why don't we set a date? Why don't we set a date for July 1st, 2016, and you can phone me back and leave a message and let everyone listening know how amazing you're doing. We all believe in you. All the pavement pounders are dying to hear. And if you don't get there, don't worry.

Don't, don't be down. Maybe it takes two years. but I have a feeling in a year if you really go for it and steer your own ship in the right direction we're going to hear a really nice phone call from you so there you go it's all in your hands

and we're all rooting for you man so do it okay so there you go that's the whole show it just went to you I don't think I've ever done that before but you know I heard I heard the hurt in your voice and you know it sounded like you needed a friend a helping hand a guiding voice a motivational

voice in the night and maybe maybe in a small way you were reaching out to me and and here's me reaching back so I believe in you man and I see good things on the horizon. Okay, everybody, so we're going to wrap the show up there. This is probably one of my most unique podcasts that I've ever done, and I don't know what to say. It was very interesting and nice to hopefully help somebody in need. Usually it's all about me just trying to be funny and make you laugh.

but one of the pavement pounders needed something different than the pavement pounder got it, I hope, on today's show. So let's dip into some dates. Let's dip into some dates for some comedy. July 9th, I will be in Nyack, New York, just outside of Manhattan, at Levity Live. Great Comedy Club. July 9th to the 12th, you can get your tickets at Harlandwiliams.com or if you're in Vancouver, British Columbia. Just north of Vancouver is a great music festival called the Pemberton Music Festival. That's July 19th. I'll be there one night only. Also in July 22nd to the 25th, I will be in Montreal.

at the Just for Laf's Comedy Festival doing all kinds of great shows there. It's going to be a blast. And then in August, I only have one show, so I hope you can make it. I'll be in Southern California, in Irvine, California, Orange County, at the Irvine Spectrum, at the Improv. That'll be August 20th to the 23rd. And a great new club they built out there. hold 600 people it's just they just put it up state of the art my god so check it out and uh and that's it um when you're at harlom williams dot com check out our store uh artwork and books and cds and t-shirts

and all kinds of fun stuff uh digital downloads have some great digital downloads um be sure to join my periscope account at harlem williams Twitter account at Harland Williams and subscribe to the YouTube channel at harlornwilliams.com. You will see my wacky videos as they come out. And if you want to leave me a phone message, the way our friend here just did, 323739-433, 323-739-4330, or you can write me a letter. We have a contact page at harloweems.com, and you can send me an email. That's it, a bit of a serious show today, but what's wrong with that?

Fun to shake it up now and then, and that's what we did today. We'll get back to the wackiness in the next episode. And until then, everybody, be 100%. This is your life. Go out and get what you want from it. You deserve it, and you can do it. So until next time, a great big bowl of super positive chicken. Chalman, baby?

I need some inspiration. I just want some insight, my man. Chowmaine, brother.