The Harland Highway - 699 - Dog stories. The human spirit,

Episode Date: September 21, 2015

Today, some moving stories about dogs. A talk about the human spirit. Woof a hoof!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm not knocking on heaven's door. I'm knocking on your door. So you will open it up and turn on the Harland Highway podcast, which if you're listening to this, you've already done. So that whole beginning was redundant. Probably like this whole podcast.

Hey, everybody, Harland Williams here. Welcome to the Harland Highlands. highway. We are on episode 699, one away from 700. Wow. And what a show we have today. We're going to be, I'm going to be talking about a big announcement that's coming on episode 700. Won't tell you now, but I'll tell you later. We're also going to be talking about your spirit. Do you believe you have a spirit inside you? Deep probing question. How about buddies? Do you have a best buddy?

Do you know that dogs sometimes have best buddies? Way to hear this story about two dog buddies and how committed they were to each other. It's almost like a tearjerker. And then we're going to be talking to Antonio Pascuali is going to be talking to us about a great love story, a great romance that he had in his life, sharing some very intimate stuff.

It's going to get mushy here on the Harland Highway. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce The Harland Highway I promise you, I will please you all, believe me What is he like? What's he going to? Anyway, oh, he's an angel. He's an angel stuck from nothing.

You're going to need a bigger coach. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Why don't you give me a name and a face and a reason why? Your man, what do you expect the guy to check along, man? It's over, Jenny. It's over. Nothing is over!

You just don't turn it off. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. Weird. Just plain weird. You know what I mean? I'm still alive. I'll tell you what I won't give you, you muckers.

I won't give you the satisfaction of saying that I'm sorry. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh, you get your money for us. Believe me. When a dog gets trashed, and her best friend stands watch over her for a week until she's rescued. When the Washington state owners of Tilly, a setter mix, and Phoebe Abasethound, went missing, they became extremely worried.

An animal rescue organization, Beshton Island Pet Protectors helped get the word out, posting pictures of the dogs on social media. About a week after the dogs went missing, the organization received a call from someone who said they'd spotted a reddish dog on their property who come up to them and then head back into a ravine. When volunteers headed to the ravine, they not only found the reddish dog, which turned out to be Tilly, but realized why she kept coming up to people and then heading back to the ravine. She was guarding her best buddy Phoebe, who was trapped in a cistern. Tilly refusing to leave Phoebe's side except to try to get help.

Vi-I pet protectors say both dogs were hungry and cold, but doing well and are happy to be back with their owners. And now that the pup story is making worldwide headlines and everyone knows what these dogs look like, it'll be a lot harder for them to go missing again. Oh, oh, isn't that sweet? Isn't that a sweet way to start the podcast? Unbelievable. I mean, what a story. And there's a picture of these guys in the newspaper.

And the one dog is sitting over the other dog. And I don't know why this reporter used the word cistern. I've never even heard that word until this story. Cistern. Who was trapped in a cistern? Note to reporter use words. that aren't from Lord of the Rings, please. Let's use words from planet Earth.

Thank you. Has anyone heard the word cistern? Sounds like your sister's an intern or something. Yeah, I got a cistern over at Microsoft. She's there for two years, cisterning. Well, I guess a cistern is like a little concrete well. This thing, it was like in the middle. of the forest and I guess it was

at one time used for like getting water or something. It's about four or five feet deep and you know just like a little concrete rectangle and the bottom of it was some stones and a little bit of water

and stuff so bass and hounds have these little stubby legs and I guess this basset hound like jumped down into it and couldn't get back out so the other dog as you heard the story, sat with her buddy

for a whole week. And it's the cutest little picture. You know, bass and hounds already look kind of like, you know, doughy-eyed and kind of vulnerable, and they got kind of that, can someone make me a bowl of soup, please? I'm a basset hound.

If you could just make me a nice bowl of beef barley soup, I'm so cold and lonely inside, please. Right, Basset hound just, and they're kind of slow and lazy, so it almost looks like this Basset hound, you know, fell down or stepped down into this cistern, and was just like, you know what, I can't be bothered to stand up on my hide legs and get out. I think I'll just stay here. I mean, someone's got to come with them. bowl of soup or something, I mean, I'll just stay right here in the cistern, even though I've

never heard that word before, then someone will bring some soup. I could just stand up on my high legs and crawl out, and why do that? That takes too much energy. I'll just sit here for a week and wait for a nice bowl and beef and barley soup. So I don't know, but this other dog, what a great friend. How many humans would do that, man? You know, you get people up on Mount Everest to get caught in two feet of snow and most of them. Screw you. I'm going down to the base camp for a hot chocolate and a joint. What do you mean? You're cold and you can't move. Well, that's on you. See ya, loser. Have fun freezing to death. I'll be drinking a bowl of Swiss Miss Coco down at the base camp and I love it that the dog like ran up to the humans somehow it knew the humans could

somehow help and it would run up to them and then kind of run away and go sit with the friend again so so note to all of us if you are just going about your daily routine and a strange cute dog runs up to you and kind of looks at you and is anxious and then runs off in a certain direction. Okay. It's just a dog running up to see me. But if it does it a few times, yeah, follow it. You know, I'm sure dogs watch Lassie. They know how to do it. They've learned from Lassie that if you want a human, you go and you bark at them and kind of nod your head and kind of give them those follow me eyes, you know? And, uh, but such a, It's such a cute, cute little picture of these dogs,

and I thought, what a sweet way to start the show. Phoebe, she stayed with her friend. She left each day to go and find help. And, you know, this dog kind of stood over and, you know, stood guard over little Phoebe while she was in the cistern. I can't take, you know what, I've got to look this word up. It's driving me nuts.

Have any of you heard the word cister? Now this story's, I'm veering away from the sweetness of the dogs. And I'm totally obsessed with cistern right now. So I'm actually looking it up on my computer. Yes, guess what? I have a computer, ladies, and snurdle bluergens. And it's really working slow today. And it's annoying.

I, every, everything I press, I get that goofy little, you know, the little spinning colors. The little spinning colors in, you know, that little wheel that comes up. So let me type it in. It's C-I-S-T-E-T-R-N. Cistern. here it is noun a tank for storing water especially one supplying taps or as part of a flushing toilet an underground reservoir for rainwater all right come on don't be throwing cistern at us we don't we don't need that um i i don't know all right well now i'm flustered i've been thrown off guard, but you know, you know, I thought I knew everything. You know, I'm Mr. No

at all. You know, I, of course, I know everything. And then Cistern gets thrown at me. Oh, all right. Now I'm going to go jump in a cistern and cry. Why don't you come and find me? No, but it's an interesting story about, about commitment, about dedication, about loyalty. and we actually have a gentleman calling in who has a story about love and his quest to find that special somebody who got away

and he didn't give up on her and this is actually quite a wonderful romance story I'll let this gentleman tell it It's Antonio Pasquale, who I'm not sure what country Antonio's from. It's definitely European. I guess I can ask him where he's from. But just a wonderful romantic story of persistence and commitment and dedication. And let's patch him in.

Raj, patching Antonio Pascuali, please. Uh, hello, Antonio Pascuali. Are you there, sir? Ah, Mr. Williams, it is such an honor to be on your show. I, I listen to it every week for many years. I just, I love it. I love to listen to your show, Mr. Williams. Well, well, thank you very much, sir. What part of, uh, uh, Europe are you from? You obviously have a heavy accent. Oh, I am European. It doesn't matter. what part I'm from. Let's just call me European.

Well, we like our listeners to kind of know. Let's just call me European, Mr. Williams. Okay, well, if that's how you would prefer it, let's get into this story here. Now, apparently you searched the world for this dog of yours. Is that right? Absolutely, Mr. Williams. She ran away from me so many, so many years ago of the pitch.

Well, okay. She's the bitch. She ran away. She ran away from home, and I guess perhaps I must take a guilt for her running away from home. Well, okay. It sounds like you sound a bit crestfallen. Oh, I love to. her so i loved her she was she was ugly she was an ugly bitch she was an ugly dog but i loved

her so and i shouldn't have treated her the way i treated uh mr williams well what what is it you did to this dog that you know kind of made it was the catalyst for running away i was not kind mr williams her name was annabel i called her gorgeous What is Gorgio, sir? Gorgio is short for gorgeous, Annabelle. She was so gorgeous on the inside, not so much on the outside. She had crooked teeth and her eyes were spaced far apart, but inside, such a beautiful spirit. Gore, my sweet Gorgio.

Okay, well, everyone has little pet names for their loved ones, that's for sure. Oh, my Gorgio, I searched the whole world for Gorgio. Well, where did you go, sir? I stood in the shadows of the pyramids in Egypt. I stood underneath the great sphinx of Egypt. I wandered the foggy, musty boers of Scotland. I went to the Taj Mahal in India. I swam the great berry reef.

I circled around the stone hedge. Well, it sounds like you really did go all over the world. Oh, Mr. Williams, there is no place I wouldn't go to find that ugly bitch, Gorgio. Wow, well, I don't know if you have to keep using the word. We get it, a female dog. You don't really have to keep hitting. Oh, that bitch. Ugly, ugly as a hippopotamuses.

fallen anis, but inside, just the most beautiful, beautiful bitch I've ever known. I searched the whole world for my ugly bitch. Yes, Antonio, we get, I think he can dial it back of it, but what is it, you know, there's always a reason, uh, you know, somebody leaves in, in a relationship. And what, what is it you did to, Annabelle? Gorgio, please call her Gorgio. Okay, Gorgio, what is it you did to Gorgio? Oh, Gorgio, I can see your crooked eyes and smell your rotten breath. Sir, if you could focus, what is it you did her?

Unfortunately, Mr. Williams said it. It pains my heart to say it. It breaks my heart. I don't know if you can hear my heart breaking. even though it is warm and soft and fleshy. If a heart could break like a crispy cracker, you can hear my heart cracking in half right now. Sir, if you could just tell us what you did.

I beat Gorgio. I beat Gorgio with a wooden spoon. I beat Gorgio with a belt. I beat Gorgio with a slipper that ugly, ugly bitch. Wow, okay. Um, unfortunately, I tied Gorgio to the couch. There were days when I would go off to work or I would go to bed by myself and I would tie sweet Gorgio to the couch. You tied her to the couch, sir.

That, that's, that's bordering on imprisonment. Gorgio, I know, Mr. Williams. I was not good. And can you blame Gorgio for running away from all. from going all over the world, perhaps, to get away from me. Good Lord. That's very extreme. I forced Gorgio, when she was tied to the couch, and it breaks my heart. You can hear my heart snap in half like a priest giving leaven bread to a young boy at communion.

Just snapping, snapping the communion bread. That's what my heart sounds like, Mr. William. Can you stop with your broken heart? What happened when she was tied to the couch? Unfortunately, Gorgio was forced to poo and pee all over the floor in the living room. My poor Gorgio, staining up my beautiful orange shag carpet. Orange shag carpet? Just the giant feces and urine all over my...

I had to beat her with a slip. the ugly bitch. Sir, if you, we get it. Okay, female, not the most attractive. Yes, my Gorgio. But that's worst of all, Mr. Williams. There's more? As worst of all, I forked my Gorgio to drink out of the toilet.

And I did not live in the most beautiful apartment. The toilet she was old and stained from the, previous tenants. It looked like there was meatloaf stains and asparagus soup stains and even a corn nibbleet tucked up under the rim of the toilet, Mr. Williams.

Okay, that's a bit too much. Uh... There were unremovable stains in the toilet, those brown ones that looked like cigarette buns. But it... Okay, sir. And Gorgio was forced to stand there.

and then down and drink, drink from the toilet with her beautiful mouth, even though she had fangled up crooked teeth, Mr. Williams. Well, sir, it's not uncommon for dogs to drink out of the toilet. What do you mean, a dog, Mr. Williams? Well, a dog. You were talking about your dog. I do not have a dog, Mr. Williams. I'm talking about Annabelle Gorgio.

Yes, Annabelle, your dog. That's what the story's about. This Gorgio. Annabelle was not a dog, Mr. Williams. She was my wife, the ugly bitch. Excuse me? My wife, she was that ugly, just crooked teeth, and her eyes like a hammerhead shark on the sides of her temples,

almost. Sweet Gorgio, but on the inside, Mr. Williams. just a beautiful human being. Are you telling me you beat your wife with a slipper, tied her to a couch, she defecated on your floor, and you made her drink out of the toilet? I told you, Mr. Williams, I regret it,

and I have searched the world for Gorgio, with her crooked teeth. It looks like somebody took a beaver and smashed its face against a log. Her wide hammerhead shark eyes, Your breath That smelled like a hippopotamus Faulted into a cheesecake

My dear Gorgio Sir This said Wait a minute My ugly bitch Oh the ugliest of bitches I don't blame my sweet Gorgio For running but I have traveled the world

Amazon forests Of Brazil I have climbed Mount Kilimanjaro To find my Ugly bitch Gorgio, her legs fat with cellulite, as if somebody had dropped a big pocket of cottage cheese all over the floor at the Walmart. Oh, Mr. Williams, Gorgio.

Okay, I thought we were talking about a dog. Oh, she is a dog. Just a horrible, ugly human being. Crooked spine like somebody slammed a giant octopus against the ceiling. They're fucked up. Okay, sir. Obliest bitch you've ever seen, but inside, Mr. Williams. Just abused my gold show.

Stop saying, you know what? I think maybe we got miscommunicated. And we thought you were talking about your dog, and you're talking about your wife? Oh, she is a dog, a horrible, ugly dog, bitch. Just her buttocks, so full of dense. Like somebody smashed a smart car in an underground parking garage. Just in and out. Okay, sir.

I think you've crossed a little bit of a line here. I'm almost hoping that you don't find Annabelle. Please call the ugly bitch Gorsio. Okay, I think we got to go. Gorsio, if you're listening, if you're one of the three people listening to this horrible podcast, Please, wait a minute. What was that? Oh, don't kid yourself.

This podcast is uglier than Gorgio, with a bright light shining on her pimply forehead. All right, hang up on him, Roger. Gorgio, I love you, you ugly bitch, and your crooked fucked up fangs. Hang up on him. Your fucking nostrils like batteens. Hang up on him.

Gorgio. Good God. God! What the hell? Roger! That was the most... Holy crap! The Harland Highway! Question of the day! Hey, Harland.

Good to have a podcast back. And... Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what... You want it to be better, not worse, trust me.

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Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harlan to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount

and 100% free shipping Code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. I heard you say the word spiritual. I don't know how many times. Let me ask you, what does that word mean?

What does that word mean? Thanks. Yes, yes. a very, very important question, although I am a bit alarmed that you and maybe others listening don't know what the word spiritual means. A little frightening to me because the spirit, in my opinion, is a force, it is a feeling, It is an instinct. It is a thing that maybe one can't even describe that dwells within you.

It's almost like, I don't know if you ever think of a ghost or a spirit. There's this invisible thing inside you. Maybe it churns like a hurricane. Maybe it watches like a giant eye. Maybe it glows. Like a burning coal. Maybe it's just a feeling. But to be spiritual is to allow this energy, this feeling, this feeling, this connection to the world, to the sun, to the sky, to your fellow man, to an earthworm, if needs be.

the spirit connects to whatever you want it to connect to and you become spiritual inside you find strength you draw strength and inspiration and courage from the spirit

that lies within you is it an invisible thing that swirls around inside, I don't know. You ever see a topographical map of a hurricane on the weather channel and you see that big swirling mass with the hole in the middle? Maybe that's what the spirit looks like, or maybe it's just invisible. But to be spiritual is to let your feelings and your actions filter through your spirit, which I believe every human being has.

Every human being has. And I feel like it's something you can feel. It's palatable. It's within you. And I know that this listener, at one point in his life, and maybe still is, was a professional weightlifter. He competed and lifted weights. and I would say to you, sir, Brian, that perhaps your spirituality came through your spirit when you needed it most, when you were lifting those weights, when you were trying to go for the record, when you had all those barbells on your shoulders and you were pushing through, and you were clearly out of physical strength, you were clearly out of mortal strength.

There was nothing left. There was no more surges of adrenaline. There was no more strength coursing through the fibers and your muscles. There was no more blood pumping to the regions of your body that needed you to lift that barbell up over your head. But there, deep inside your rib cage or your stomach or in your chest, was that swirling mass, that swirling hurricane, your spirit. your spirit and your mind your mind went to your spirit and said please i'm all out of gas let me lift this 400 pounds over my head and when you tapped into your spirit when you reached into that well guess what you my friend became spiritual and i believe since you asked me the question that that

exists within all of us when we need to win a race when we need to run for our lives when we need to pray in the corner in the dark at night when our lives aren't going so good or maybe they're going amazing and you reach into your spirit and you say somebody help me or you say thank you thank you and it's sort of like being in love i think everybody's felt those butterflies flapping in their stomach when they go on that first date or they see the person of their dreams or someone they're madly in love with. You get that unexplainable feeling inside. They call it the butterflies.

Well, sometimes when your mind and your body and your heart connects with your spirit, it is my belief that you feel something similar. It's not the butterflies. But it's a different feeling, sort of like the butterflies, but it's different. It's that invisible feeling where nothing's touching your body, nothing's physically pressing against you, nothing's inside your mouth or in your stomach. But yet you almost feel like there's an invisible tractor beam between you and something else, some higher force, some bigger force, some bigger form of energy.

and when your spirit connects with you and when it connects with others and it connects with whatever's out there, whether it be a cloud or just the sky up above, that, my friend, is what I believe to be spiritual. And I will tell you, it's probably one of the best feelings in the world. And I would submit to you that if you've never had that. that feeling, and I think you have, and I think you already knew the answer. But maybe you just needed to be reminded, but if you haven't had that feeling in a long time, or you haven't had that feeling at all where you've felt the spirit within you, and you've felt spiritual,

if you haven't had that, I suggest that might be a warning sign. That might be a little warning signed that maybe your world, your life, your spirit has become too superficial. It's become too surfacy. It's disconnected from that world that we can't even see, that world of invisible feelings and light and energy and spirit. So maybe, good sir, you asked the question because you're in search of that. And maybe you need to take some time and take a long walk through a beautiful forest by yourself or sit by the beach and watch a sunset

or stand in a field and just look up into the sky and meditate. I'm pretty sure I can assure you that if you go to someplace special, someplace quiet, and you can turn everything off, even if you can drive out into the country 30 miles from your house and walk out into a field and stand in the middle of it all by yourself and feel the wind brush your face ruffle your hair

hear the birds chirping in the distance feel the sun in your eyes and on your skin if you can just look up whether you're looking up to God or you don't believe in God and you're just looking up. I think something or something will be looking back. And if you stretch out your arms and even have to utter the words, come into me, spirit, I accept you, I want you, I need you.

Oh, great spirit. And allow your mind to open up and just let the energy of the universe make its way into your heart and your soul. I think you'll feel it. I think you'll connect to it. I think you'll feel that little cloud start to swirl around. And when you first feel it, just let it take hold. Let it build. And whatever that manifestation may be, don't even be afraid to say, thank you, spirit.

Thank you for coming inside of me and letting me be spiritual. And I think when you say that thank you out loud, even though there's nothing there, it amplifies that moment of spirituality. Because you're giving back to the spirit. You're giving acceptance to the spirit. You're giving gratitude to the spirit, and it feeds off that, and it grows even more intense inside you. And it's a beautiful, beautiful moment.

So I urge you, if you have lost touch with your spirit, your spirituality, if you can't remember what it is or you doubt that it's even there, please believe that it is. I believe that within all of you, it is there. You just need to allow it to come in and out and shine. Don't suppress it. Don't hold it down. Don't let skepticism.

Don't let pessimism hold it underwater and drown it. Believe in your spirit within you. Believe, communicate with it. Let it blossom. Let it pour out of you like a sense. sunbeam that comes out from behind a dark cloud. Embrace the spirit. And it doesn't have to be religious.

I believe every human soul is filled with the spirit, whatever it may be. And if you look around the world and you look at the accomplishments of humankind, and you look at the generosity and the greatness of people and all the things they've done, all the good they've done, that is the spirit. And that comes from being spiritual. So I hope that answers your question. It's the best I can do at the moment.

And you want to know something? As I was telling you that, I was actually tapping into my spirit. My spirit gave me inspiration to find the words to deliver to you. I opened up my soul and thought that this was an important question. And maybe this was more than a question for this person. Maybe this person needed some of my spirit to ignite their spirit. Without being presumptuous or pretentious, if that's the case, I'm glad I could be there for you. And if it's not the case and all my words and my answer and my response fell flat and meant nothing to you,

I urge you to find your own way to connect with your spirit and be spiritual. I think, and this is just my opinion, it leads to a healthy, more fruitful and wonderful life there you go I'm just being quiet here from it because it seemed you know after all that

it seemed like we just needed kind of a you know that moment whatever you know that was some heavy you know when I thought maybe just that little silent pause for people to go So there you go. I think that's an important question, a great question. And I hope it helped you find some answers, good sir. You know, if you have any questions for the old man here,

you know you can always call in and leave your own question or comment or insult or whatever you want. 323-739 40-330 3-2-3-739-433-30 you can phone and it's just a voicemail nobody talks to you so you can kind of say whatever you want and you know I can't play every message but you know I pick out the ones that I feel are provocative or fun or silly or whatever it's random okay it's random

I never know which ones I'm going to put on it. It's just whatever tickles my fancy that day. And this one, I don't know. It got to me. It touched my spirit. And speaking of spirit, oh my God, next show, show 700. Okay, can you believe we've done 700 of these ladies snargles and flablergall dragons? Show 700, which is the next Harlan Highway Party.

guess, which is a huge milestone, I am going to start the show up with a huge announcement, a really big announcement that I'm very excited about. It's going to affect you guys, the listeners, in a great way. And so please tune in. I'm going to do it right off the top of episode 700. So be there for that, Skirgle bloggins and blingleblaggings. And we'll leave it right there We're going to leave it in the spiritual realm

We'll just ease out of the show today And I want to thank you for being here You guys lift my spirit up By being here And every podcast I do I actually instill my spirit into it Because I try to spread the laughter And you know

That to me comes from from the spirit. So there you go. Let's do a few more announcements here. Well, you're at the site, looking up the phone number, in case you don't remember, 323-739, 43330.

That's the call-in number, but you can also find that number at harlandwiliams.com where you can also write me. If you don't want to use your voice, you can write me. You can also check out our store and buy some fun, fun gifts.

We will mail them out to you. Please keep in mind, you know, sometimes people write me, they order something, and they're like, hey, man, I ordered a t-shirt, and it's been like 10 days, and, you know, then they file a complaint with PayPal, and please be patient, gang. We're not Amazon.com.

We have a very small staff, you know, fulfilling all these orders. And, man, sometimes we just get backed up. So give us at least a 10-day window. I know in this day and age where you get everything overnight or within an hour, that seems like an eternity. But like I said, we're a small little unit here. We don't have like Amazon or Google or Apple technicians here. It's just some good people running around in a mailroom,

you know, packaging everything, and it's busy, and it's a lot of work. So be patient. Give us a 10-day window. Of course, we try to get it there way sooner than that. But if we're a little late, be patient, and we will do our very, very best to get stuff to you as promptly as possible. Good things are worth waiting for, right? So check out the web store, books, CDs, T-shirts, artworks. music, all digital downloads.

You can have a fun time shopping at harlandwilliams.com. And like I said, big announcement next week. Oh, my God, oh my God, oh my God. And I think that's it. A few stand-up dates coming up, October 8th through the 11th. I will be at helium in, excuse me. It's like I sucked in some helium. Portland, Oregon.

God, I really did suck in some helium. October 8th through the 11th, Portland, Oregon at a club called helium. And then two weeks later in Denver, Colorado. October 23rd and 24th, two nights only, at the Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado. All these tickets can be purchased online at Harlowimbs.com. Just click on.

my stand-up schedule link, my comedy schedule link, and you'll be taken right to the pages. Get your tickets quickly because these shows sell out and then people are upset, so hope to see you there come October, gang. But that's it for now. Thank you so much for your calls and for listening. Tell your friends to get on the Harlan Highway. And like I said, next show, big announcement for all you pavement pounders. This is going to be good.

Something I've been waiting to tell you about a long time. So there you go. I'll leave it right there hanging in suspense. Ooh. And until next time, everybody, chicken. Chalmy, baby. Oh, gorgeous. I can see your crooked eyes and smell your rotten breath.

Thank you.