The Harland Highway - 700 -CHARLIE LEE drops by with his daughter. Huge Highway announcement!

Episode Date: September 24, 2015

Harland makes a huge announcement for all the Pavement Pounders. We discuss fortunes and destiny. And, Charlie Lee drops by with his daughter Kimmy Lee and she sings a horrible song. Cookie a wookie!!...! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh, welcome to the Harland Highway, ladies and gentlemen. Episode 700. Oh, my God. Can you believe it? Seven. What up? What up? Milestone. 007. No, it's not that cool. I'm not James Bond. I am Harlan Williams. This is the Harland Highway. You are listening to Episode 700. Wow. I think it took us almost five years to get here. That's a lot of time. Holy crap. Thank you for being here.
Starting point is 00:00:35 What a show. We got a big special announcement right out of the gate. Right out of the gate. We're going to tell you about something really cool for all you pavement pounders. I think you're going to love it. We'll get into that. Also, we're going to be talking about predicting the future. Predicting your course in life with the use of a very, very accurate future.
Starting point is 00:00:57 future-telling machine. Not. Wait, do you hear about this? And then guess who drops by the studio with his daughter? Charlie Lee from the Moonglow restaurant and tavern. Charlie Lee drops by, I didn't even know he had a daughter. Kimmy Lee, and apparently she's created a song, a track, and she's going to be singing for us.
Starting point is 00:01:22 It's going to get crazy. Happy 700 episode right here on the heart. The Harland Highway. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the Harland Highway. I promise you, I will please you all. Believe me. What is he like? What's he like anyway? Oh, he's an angel.
Starting point is 00:01:44 He's an angel. He's an angel strike from nothing. You're going to need a bigger pose. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Why don't you give me a name and a face and a reason why? You know what do you expect the guy to chick alone? It's over, Jenny. It's over.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Nothing is over! You just don't turn it off. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. Weird. It's just plain weird. You know what I mean? I'm still alive.
Starting point is 00:02:16 I'll tell you what I won't give you, you muckers. I won't give you the satisfaction of saying that I'm sorry. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh, you get your money for us. Believe me. Is this in? Is this the big announcement music? Yeah, this is the big announcement.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Okay, is everybody ready for the big announcement? Big Harland Highway announcement. Here it is. The new Harland Highway app is available. Finally. Hello! Yes! yes yes yes yes I downloaded it myself I'm in love with it am I allowed to be in love
Starting point is 00:03:03 with my own app okay why not um wow it is so cool it is so cool I'm so excited for you guys to get this new app you just download it like any other app Android Apple it works across all platforms and it's just great it's easy to use user-friendly, simple, and here's what it's got. It lets you scroll through all the episodes. It lets you flip through. It lets you get the latest episode right up today. You can start it.
Starting point is 00:03:44 You can stop it. You can fast forward it. If there's a little part that you liked, like, let's say a little clip or something I said or something you heard, there's a little button where it'll rewind like just a few seconds, like 30 seconds and you can hear it back if you hear something shocking and you're like what did he just say and you flip it back and you can go here now here's the hook um as you know and by the way the app is free it's totally free but here's the hook and yes finally there's a hook on the harland highway we're here at 700 episodes that's more than most of
Starting point is 00:04:27 podcasts um and that's a lot a lot of podcasting and i've had a blast doing it and it's all free it's all been free notice i snuck the word bin in there but uh it's a lot of work it's a lot of time a lot of effort i'm not complaining i love it but um with this new app it finally gives me the opportunity to uh you know make a little money off it to help support the podcast and how it works is the podcast is still free on the app, still free, but only the latest, the 50 latest episodes, which is a lot. That's a lot of episodes, but if you want to get into the archives now, they're labeled under premium access only,
Starting point is 00:05:18 and you're going to love this. I think it's $7.99, $8. for the whole year, it's ridiculous. So, but not only will you get the backlog of Harland Highway episodes, what I'm going to start doing is adding special content. And I'm going to tell you more and more about that as the days go by, but there's going to be a second podcast that I do buried within the first one. And it's a totally different format.
Starting point is 00:05:51 I think you guys are going to love it. It's super fun. it's you know the harland highway i kind of do on my own this new podcast i'm whipping up involves uh other amazing comedians it's very interactive very fun and uh it's going to be uh it's going to be under the premium membership i'm also going to add other special things videos uh clips live clips of my stand-up shows um special uh special uh special events with some of the characters like Aunt Ruthie and you know others more of your other favorite characters that they will have special segments that you won't be able to hear on the Harland highway and I don't
Starting point is 00:06:38 want you to sit there and go oh burn I'm getting cheated no fair well you can't play that game come on guys for eight bucks a year or I think we even have a thing where you can do it for a dollar a month or you know some some weird thing if you only want to try the premium membership for a month but with all the all the work and all the freebies and all the stuff that that you got um you know eight bucks for a year of of all this content is uh is a really really good deal it's almost it's almost like a giveaway really um but like i said it does go to support the uh the podcast which has been a hundred percent completely free for I think six years now.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Wow. So after 700 episodes, I guess it's time for me to try and, you know, gather up a few shekels and help pay for some of the things that it costs to run a podcast. And, you know, hopefully you guys are cool with that. Hopefully you'll like it. And, you know, I feel like I definitely give folks their money's worth, you know. And with the extra content, the special content just for premium members, you know, I think that makes it worth it too. So I'm super excited.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Go in now, go on your phone, download the app for free. As I said, any episode within 50 is free, meaning all the new ones are free. But if podcast 700 comes out, then that. means you know the latest of the earlier one 50 back disappears so when 7 when 7001 comes out another one disappears off the back end and goes into the archives so you're still going to have plenty of free content if you don't want to splurge the $8 to get the whole year and get everything so check it out give me your feedback let me know what you think Please join up if you can afford it.
Starting point is 00:08:55 If you can't, like I said, you still get the freebies. And I'm excited and I'll be happy to put money towards reinvesting it into the podcast. As I said, I'm doing a new podcast within this podcast and I'll need money to support that. And I think you'll see it's going to be well worth it. Believe me, we've already recorded a number of them and they are really freaking hilarious. So I'll tell you what it's called. I'll tell you more about it, probably next week. So that's the big announcement.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Roj, can you play the big announcement music again? And I want to play a phone call that one of the pavement pounders sent in that really touched me and really kind of plays into this whole thing about maybe throwing a few bucks towards, you know, helping keep the podcast going. so give me some more of that that uh yeah there it is there it is the big special event music the harland highway app is here oh boy please get it you're gonna love it yes yes great okay roj now go into the phone call go go into the special phone call right here go go go go go hello hey harland i really love your podcast and especially the one about your mom because I'm in the same situation and
Starting point is 00:10:29 my mom has the early stages of Alzheimer's and I did a barbecue Eddie on her and her eyes lit up like a sunflower and that was beautiful and you tapped into something that reaches people and
Starting point is 00:10:45 tell me what I need to do to support your voice and your podcast and I will do it. I've been a long time fan just morgan dog pavement founder and I need to know how to support that kind of voice in this world. Thank you, Brian. Well, before I get to your mother, God, God bless her, here's how you can support the Harland Highway. And thank you for your generosity. Thank you for even offering that because I always feel guilty asking about money.
Starting point is 00:11:15 This podcast I've always felt like it was a gift from me to everybody, whether you like it or not. was just something I wanted to put out in the world. And as I get more and more into it and becomes bigger and more complicated and more people are involved, it's definitely requiring some support. And for you to even offer it without even, you know, me asking is just wonderful. So, Raj, play that music again, will you? Come on. Play that.
Starting point is 00:11:44 There it is. Now, if you want to support, and believe me, I'm very grateful for anyone who does, the Harland Highway app is now available. Please support the Harland Highway podcast to the Harland Highway podcast app on Apple iTunes or Android. There, that's that, my friend, is how you can support. I truly, truly appreciate you asking,
Starting point is 00:12:09 and now it's here, and now you can support. But as you support me, I want to support you, and I hear what you're saying about your mother. it's so sad when our parents or anyone we know starts to go into a state of decline and, you know, the light starts to fade a little bit and it's very, very tough to see someone vivacious and so full of life start to forget and start to lose their abilities. It's probably the thing we all fear the most. and even without you supporting me
Starting point is 00:12:49 I want to support back I did go through it with my mother and I'm so sorry that you're going through it with your mother but the fact that something is ridiculous as Barbecue Eddie one of the characters I do on the show somehow got through to your mother who's ill is just a miraculous and fills me with joy that as you said
Starting point is 00:13:11 I was able to you know ignite a little light in her eye and in doing so maybe alleviate the pain or alleviate your pain or everybody's pain and so what i'd like to extend to you as a way of of helping is i would love for your mother if you can ask her and she's still capable of you know picking out one of her favorite characters that i do or even a topic that she wants to hear it doesn't have to be a character It can be a topic or anything. I throw a challenge at me,
Starting point is 00:13:47 but if there's something your mom would love to hear on the Harland Highway, hear me do, I want to dedicate a special little segment to your mom. I think that would be a lot of fun. And even if it turns out, it's just some more barbecue eddies. By God, I will do some barbecue eddies just for your mom. Because, boy, oh boy, when somebody's sick, anything you can do to, get through to help alleviate the pain or make their life more enjoyable, you know, you got to try and do it, right?
Starting point is 00:14:24 So I know you didn't leave your name, but I know you'll know this was your message. And if you want to call back and leave me a message, and even if you want to record your mom talking with your phone and, you know, playing that, and I'll play that. and I'll play that, and she can make her own request. But if she's not able to do that, if she's too weak or too sick, then by all means you do it. And I want to do a special segment just for your mom. Okay, sound good.
Starting point is 00:14:59 I think that could be nice. So there you go. That's our special announcement. Please get the app. Just go to your app store, whatever your device is, and just type in the Harland Highway, and you can download it for free, and off you go.
Starting point is 00:15:18 And off we go into the rest of the show here. Let's do it. Let's have some chuckles. You're such a fuck-ass. What? Please. Did you just call me a fuck-ass? Elizabeth, that's enough.
Starting point is 00:15:33 You can go suck a fuck. Oh, please tell me, Elizabeth. How exactly does one suck a fuck? You want me to tell you? Please tell me. We will not have this. At the dinner table. Stop.
Starting point is 00:15:43 So one of the fun things that sets eating at a Chinese restaurant, going out for Chinese food that sets it apart from eating anywhere else, is at the end of the meal, you always get a little treat. You know, most restaurants, you finish your meal, you have your dessert, you have your coffee, they bring you the bill, off you go. But with the Chinese experience, they bring you your bill, you have your dessert, you have your coffee, they bring you the bill, and there's something on top of the little leather envelope that has your bill in it.
Starting point is 00:16:21 That's right, it's a little weird-shaped cookie. It's like a folded, weird, odd-looking cookie. And inside is a fortune. It's a fortune cookie. And I think we all get excited about it because all of us, we kind of imagine that somehow, you know, we came out for dinner and our life goes on and we go about our business, but yet somehow there's this little mystical note baked inside a cookie that's going to tell us about our future. It's going to alter our destiny.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Unlike the trolls and the midgets who had to, in Lord of the Rings, it had to walk through fire and climb through giant tarantula nests and fight with Satan underground and the fiery brimstone. own to find the meaning of life. We just have to pick up a goofy, weird, half-crescent-shaped cookie and crack it open and inside is our future, is a look, a glimpse into what's coming down the road for us, what's coming around the next corner.
Starting point is 00:17:33 It's fantastic. And I think no matter how old you are, you always get excited, and even though you goof with it and kind of write it off, oh, yeah, it's a fortune cookie, whatever. Don't we all secretly deep inside wish that there is something in there that is so poignant that pertains to our lives so much or gives us an answer or drops a wonderful surprise
Starting point is 00:17:58 into our maybe boring humdrum lives? I think there's always this kind of false hope, this, I don't know, this dream, this. wish that these sacred words baked into this cookie are going to have the answers we need in life. Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes. Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. for discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Plus, 100% free shipping on your entire order. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a clickaway. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select anyone, item. It could be an adventurous new toy, or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code
Starting point is 00:19:16 Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. but sadly and i've got a bunch of fortune cookies here like many things in life that things can be a letdown not always but sometimes so why don't we open some of these fortune cookies here let me let's open and well i'm going to open them up and read the fortunes And they're always kind of a little cheesy and ambiguous and don't really mean much, but you always, you're always hoping they do. So first I crunch over the, the, open the cookie, you kind of snap it in the middle.
Starting point is 00:20:18 It's like, like pulling a wishbone open. All right, here's the first fortune. What's it say? Trust your instincts with a big decision coming up. Okay. And then on the back, there's a hashtag. It says hashtag share P.F. Chang's. Well, I just did.
Starting point is 00:20:43 So I guess P.F. Chang's fortune came true. But as for me, trust your instincts with a big decision coming up. Okay. Well, my instinct is, and my next big decision is to open another God-forsaken free. cheesy fortune cookie so I guess that one came true here we go let's see what this next one has to say hold on we pull it out pull it out let's see what's this second I'm gonna open like four of them here others admire the example you set huh others admire the example I set okay how many of you
Starting point is 00:21:30 admire the example I set. Hello? Hello? I asked how many of you admire the... Is there anyone there? Okay, well, I guess nobody. Let's go on to number three. There we go.
Starting point is 00:21:48 See what I mean? So far, kind of... I want to hear, like, look over your shoulder. There's a gorgeous blonde with green eyes staring at you, and she wants to take you to the Motel 6 and power slam you all night. Okay, here's number three. Let's see what this one says.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Okay, this is a long one. You will have all you need to make an important decision. That sounds a little eerily close to the first one. Sounds a lot like the first one. You will have all you need to make an important decision. Well, my next decision is to open my last fortune cookie. And I guess if I have all I need, it's right here in front of me. So, boy, can there be something like you will find a wallet full of money in the men's bathroom
Starting point is 00:22:40 when you faint on the floor and hit your head or something? You will wake up in a Roman orgy at a steam bath. Here's the next one. Let's see. A faithful friend will soon need your advice. Oh, and just as just as just as a. As I said, as I read that, I got texted. Did you hear that in the background?
Starting point is 00:23:05 So maybe I, maybe this one was right. A faithful friend. It sounds like a dog. Dogs are faithful. Maybe I need to talk to a dog. Now listen, Rover. Okay, listen. You're going to get fleas.
Starting point is 00:23:24 And if you need to pee, you need to go out on the grass. Okay? Okay, that's my advice, old faithful friend. So I don't know. I wonder if any of you have ever got a fortune cookie where, you know, something was said in the fortune cookie and it came back and it actually happened. I guess it's possible. If any of you pavement pounders listening have had an experience like that,
Starting point is 00:23:53 I'd love to hear about it. And I don't make one up. I want it to be real. because I think the odds are pretty bizarre, but if you have one, I want to hear it 323-739-43330. 3-2-3-739-433. Leave us a message, and if you have a real one
Starting point is 00:24:13 that relates to a fortune cookie and it coming true, I want to play this on the Harlan Highway. So there you go. Fortune cookies telling you what you don't. really need to know oh hold on somebody's hit roger is there supposed to be someone here hello roger open the door who's there hello oh hello hello hello how you doing funny guy oh my god how you doing funny guy charlie lee that's right what are you doing here I listen to a podcast over at Moongro Restaurant, downtown, off of Exit 57, you know the praise.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Yes, yes, I go there all the time, you have delicious food. Oh, you can eat buffet, honey garlic shrimp, shrimp, tempura, shrimp wanton, shrimp fluffy fluff. Yes, I know, you've got delicious food. What are you doing here? I listen to your podcast, not very good. I don't like it. Well, don't say that. Well, it smelled like horse manure.
Starting point is 00:25:30 You know, a podcast can't smell like anything. Oh, yours can, you funny guy. You all smell like horse manure just steaming on the ground. Really smell. It doesn't, my podcast doesn't smell like horse manure. Oh, yeah, it does. Really like a big giant pyre of it. Big steamy pile of horse manure.
Starting point is 00:25:54 funny guy what are you doing here Charlie Lee well I hear you talk about fortune cookie and a Chinese food and a terriaki well I wasn't talking about
Starting point is 00:26:10 Chinese food and terriaki yet you can't talk about fortune cookie without mentioning other one like free free pee and a pod okay what
Starting point is 00:26:23 free pee and a A quad. Are you saying three peas in a pod? That's what I say. What, you got wax in your ear, funny guy? Charlie Lee, you got wax in your ear. What are you, some kind of, like a killer whale? Why would it, what is the connection between wax in my ears and a killer whale?
Starting point is 00:26:47 You tell me, you're the funny guy. Stop the laugh. God, what are you? you want here? Why did you come down? Well, my little daughter here, 12 year old, Kimmy Lee. Say hello Kimmy Lee. Hi, I'm Kimmy Lee. Oh God, she sounds just like you. You got a problem with that funny guy? You make it fun of Charlie Lee and Kimi Lee? Funny guy. Who, hoo ha ha. Make everybody Giggle. Wow.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Okay, so Kimmy Lee's here. What is she here for? You boy, you get so angry around little children, huh? Maybe you, uh, we check a background record. What do you mean you check my background record? Well, Cree, you got anger issue toward young child. I don't have anger issues with a young child. I'm in the middle of a professional podcast.
Starting point is 00:27:50 and you come storming in here with Kimmy Lee and now, oh, see, you raise your voice in front of a young child. You got anger issues. We make background the check. Maybe funny guy, not so funny, huh? Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, stop laughing. You sound like a pot of dolphins, for Christ's sake. Oh, now you swear in front of Kimmy Lee, child.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Charlie Lee's child, you swear what? I said, what do you want? Oh, Kimmy Lee dropped some new vinyl, funny guy. What? Kimmy Lee, my daughter, you're standing right here, you swear wood, you have anger issue with. I'm not swearing, and I don't have anger issues. Kimmy Lee did what? Kimmy re, she dropped new vinyl.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Slow down, what? Kimmy re, she dropped new vinyl. Waxing your ear? Killer whale? I'm not a killer whale and I don't have wax in my ears. Well, why you're not here what I say about Kimmy Rhee? She dropped some new vinyl. Are you saying Kimmy Lee has dropped some new vinyl? Ah, hello! Welcome to 1974, 75, or even 78, if you like. What does that mean? You tell me, you're the funny guy.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Oh, stop! Boy, oh boy. Kimmy Lee dropped some new vinyl. That's right. Kimmy Reed, she's in recording studio. She makes new song. Make Charlie Lee, her father, very, very proud. So Charlie Lee hear you on your prod press.
Starting point is 00:29:42 He come down with Kimi Lee. We thought maybe you pray Kimi Lee drop new vinyl on your prod You know, if you think I'm going to play your daughter's song, is that what it is? Hello, welcome to, you know, 1992, Harald. Okay, what is with you and the years? I don't know. That's just what people say here in United States. People say hello, welcome to, you know, you pick a year, any year you put it in.
Starting point is 00:30:17 Kind of like the way you put it in your wife. Okay. Now talk about saying inappropriate things in front of a girl. Oh, Kimmy Rie don't care. She come out my wife. I could talk all I want about what didn't go in and out of my wife. I talk about what go in your wife, funny guy. Stop it.
Starting point is 00:30:40 So you're telling me you want to play her. She drops some vinyl. She drops some, you want to play her song. What's it about? Well, what do you think, funny guy? Charlie Lee on the Mungro restaurant and buffet? Of course, she's going to drop a vinyl about the Chinese food. Are you telling me she wrote a song about Chinese food?
Starting point is 00:31:04 Is this a joke? Oh, you're the funny guy. You do the joke. Charlie Lee should serve up the chimp-fried rice, the honey stew-fry, chicken, the Mongolian beef, the sizzling shrimp in a walk, wanton soup, hot and sour soup. That's what Charlie Lee do.
Starting point is 00:31:25 You do the joke funny guy. Oh, man. You know, you are really, I really, what? You go say something racist, maybe? No. I was going to say you're testing my nerves. I thought maybe you were going to say I should go build a railroad or something. Would you knock it off?
Starting point is 00:31:47 You pray Charlie Reed Kimmy Reed's song She'd drop a vinyl Yes, if you'll get you out of here Where are you telling me this is a song About Chinese food Yajaro Welcome to, you know
Starting point is 00:32:01 18th century Oh brother Where is it? Right here you put in your computer You drop the vinyl It's not dropping the vinyl It's an MP3 Yeah, that's what you say square boy
Starting point is 00:32:19 The creed out on the street They say drop in the vinyl They say what? You drop it the vinyl It's an MP3 It's dropping the vinyl Stop saying dropping the vinyl Dropping the vinyl
Starting point is 00:32:39 Give me that thing, you idiot This is, oh my God, let's play it. What's it called? It called, I rub a Chinese food, Dumbo. Give it to me. Hurry up and hit prey. You're wasting time. Maybe all five of your listeners go to the bathroom and go number two.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Shut up! Here it is. Kimmy Lee, Charlie Lee's daughter, with her dropping her vinyl, her new hit, I love Chinese food. God. Oh, boy, are you kidding down and she gets grumpy. You shut up, listen to Kimmy Lee.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Okay, relax. Oh, God. Chal ma'am ma'am ma'am ma'am ma'am. Shut up and listen! I mean, come on, Charlie. This is... Shut it off. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:34:16 I love Chalmain. Chau Mamma, ma ma ma ma'amma man. Or at least you can listen to a lyric. She love a Chalmain, right, Kimmy Rhee. He. I love a Chalmain, Daddy. He, he. He.
Starting point is 00:34:32 Aww. Stop laughing. Look, no offense, but that might be the worst song I've ever heard in my life. How dare you? how dare you spit in my child's face I do background check on you funny guy violence towards children I did not spit in your daughter's face
Starting point is 00:34:55 you said her music smelled like dirty dump or dump diaper what you said her music smell like dirty dump a diaper I did not say her music smelled like a dirty dumper diaper like a dirty dump or diaper. And I did not spit in her face. You better pray to rest of it. Oh, let's get it over with.
Starting point is 00:35:39 You feel so, so good. Portuguese keys. I love Chinese Chinese food. I love Chinese food. You know that it's true. I love bright. I love food. I love chow-me-chal-mo-ma-ma-ma-me.
Starting point is 00:36:03 I love a wrong, funny guy. You know that it. that it's true I love Chowmaine Chow, chow, chow, chow, chow, chau ma'amain. I love Chowman, chow chow chow, chow, stop it! What the matter with you, funny guy? You can't sing her song when to drop a vinyl?
Starting point is 00:36:28 She's not dropping a vinyl and stop singing Chowmaine. I love Chowman Chow, chow, chow, chow, chow, chow, chow, chow, ma'amain. I'll tell me, may, may, may, me. That's not even it. You hurry up and pray to rest before I throw a lawsuit at you for speeding in my daughter's face.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Gladly, let's get it over with. This is the worst song I've ever heard in my life. You can order broccoli and chicken wings. Good Lord. Pray this song, funny guy. Shut up. That's true I'll write, right,
Starting point is 00:37:12 I'll go, I'll show me, chau move away Get it off. I can't take another second. This Here it comes. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Shall we be, get it off. Unbelievable. Horrible. I never ever, shut up. You'll almost talk over the special gong at the end. Charlie Lee played that part. What, you played the gong at the end? Yeah, that's what I did. I prayed a gong. Right at the end, you hear it go bong. You know, I just, I never want Chinese food again, thanks to you. Oh, you tell you'll make, you try to try to.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Hutt Charlie Lee's business, the Bumulgrove restaurant and tavern. You don't get out of here. Maybe Kimmy Lee want to sing it all over again. No. No, no, no, out. Kimmy Rees sing again. Here we go. Drop your vinyl.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Out. Get the hell out. Maybe before I go I whip up some honey fried rice on your console. No. Get out! Child hater. Charlie Ligo called child services. Spritting in face.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Child killer. You're a child killer. I'm not a child killer. You probably have little bodies all wrapped up in your basement underneath the concrete. Probably kill lots of children and bury them in your basement. Child killer. I'm not a get out of here.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Child killer. Get out. Jesus, H. Lord. Wow. Possibly, I didn't... I didn't ever think anything could be more annoying than Charlie Lee himself, but then Kimmy Lee comes in and sings the Chinese food suck.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Good night, Nellie Frittato. What a downer. That was ripe. Real ripe. Charlie Lee played a gong for you one more time, funny God. Have a wrist in my gong Get out, get out, get out, get out!
Starting point is 00:39:40 Up yours funny guy with prum sauce! Out! Jesus, that's it. I meant, Roger, end the show. Sorry, folks. End the show right now. I cannot, I'm too fired up. My blood pressure is boiling.
Starting point is 00:39:57 What a jack-wad. Chich-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-main. what the hell all right let's do some announcements save this thing uh if you want to catch me doing some live stand-up comedy uh Portland Oregon October 8 through 11th yes what a night what a weekend that'll be uh it's at the helium comedy club in Portland Oregon October 8 to 11th please come out we're going to have a blast. Maybe we'll have some chit-ch-ch-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-chau-main. And then check it out. Denver, Denver, Colorado at the Comedy Works, October 23rd and 24th. Two nights only, Friday, Saturday. Comedy Works, Denver, Colorado, October 23rd and 24th. Great room, great people, great fun. It's going to be a blast from the past. And as I said, please download this new app.
Starting point is 00:41:09 You're going to love it. It's really fun. And if you have a little extra cash in your pocket, please join our subscription service for the past archives and the special bonus features. I think it's $8 for a whole freaking year. That's like buying three and a half chocolate bars. 11. It's nothing.
Starting point is 00:41:38 And thank you for your phone calls. You can call in. 3, 2, 3, 739, 433.30. Always love to hear from you guys, sad, happy, in between, praise, insults, whatever you got. Throw it at me. I love to hear what's going on in your heads. Or you can write me. Go to harlew Williams.com and you can write me from there. Or if you have the new app, you can actually write me right from the app, which is great. Just click on the contact page and you can write me right from your phone. What else? Check out the store while you're in there at harlewilms.com. We have all kinds of great merchandise we will send out to you. Shirts, music, books, art, CDs, DVDs, digital downloads.
Starting point is 00:42:31 It's all there. can't go wrong there harland williams dot com and the phone numbers there in case you forget 323 739 43 30 uh so there you go guys hey 700 shows i want to thank everyone who's been here the whole time the pavement pounders have been here since day one people that have been on and off people that have only listened to whoever you are or matter if you've even listened to one episode or if this is your first episode, hey, thank you. Keep spreading the word. Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening. Hope I'm able to make you giggle, have a smile. Be entertained. That's what it's all about. We're going to, let's see if we can do 700 more podcasts. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:43:25 So there you go. Be well. Be happy. Make someone smile. And until next time. Chicken. Chaubeen, baby. Oh, you're a dirty child killer. Child killer. Somebody check in his basement. He got all kinds of little bodies buried under the concrete. Child killer. Oh, he's a child killer. is gone.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.