The Harland Highway - 701 - A visit with Harland's boss MR. FEATHERSTONE. The Pope, and Salty food.

Episode Date: September 28, 2015

Harland gets called to see his boss MR. FEATHERSTONE. A talk about some delicious yet nasty food. More news on the NEW APP, and thoughts about the Pope's visit to the USA. Pope uses Scope!!!! Learn m...ore about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, hey, hey, everybody. It's Harlan Williams, and you are rolling down the Harlan Highway with me, Harlan Williams, your host. Welcome, everybody. Great to have you here. What a show we have. Unbelievable. I'm going to be talking with my boss, Mr. Featherstone, later in the show. I'm hoping he's, you know, having. me come up to his office to congratulate me on the 700th episode of the Harlan Highway or, you know, talk about, you know, how we're going to do the special features on my new app, all that stuff. We're going to be talking a bit more about the new Harlan Highway app, which is great. We're also going to be talking about some delicious food. There's a special time of year when we have a special kind of food.
Starting point is 00:01:00 It warms the heart, but now I've discovered a way I can have it every single day of the week if I so desire, and I did it the other day, and it was yummy, and I'm going to tell you guys all about it. It's so yummy, it's disgusting and yucky. Also, the Pope was visiting the United States of America. I'm going to have a few serious words about that towards the end of the show. I found him to be very inspirational, kind of like this podcast, the Harlan Highway. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce The Harland Highway
Starting point is 00:01:33 I promise you, I will please you all, believe me What is he like? What's he going, anyway? Oh, he's an angel. He's an angel stuck from nothing. You're going to need a bigger coach. You're listening to Harlan Williams. Why don't you give me a name and a face
Starting point is 00:01:52 and a reason why? Your man, what do you expect the guy that's jig alone, man? It's over, Jenny. It's over. Nothing is over! You just don't turn it off. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Weird. Just plain weird. You're not me. I'm still alive. I'll tell you what I won't give you, you muckers. I won't give you the satisfaction of saying that I'm sorry. Welcome to the Harland Highway. Oh, you get your money to work.
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Starting point is 00:02:57 Oh, yeah. Who doesn't like a good Thanksgiving dinner, right? The turkey, the stuffing, the gravy. Oh, it's just, what a unique blend of foods and flavors that all come together and just fill your mouth with heaven? Right, that that gooey, warm gravy? Oh, the stuffing. Who even knows what it is? It's stuffing.
Starting point is 00:03:30 The turkey, the succulent turkey. And you wait for it all year for Thanksgiving, maybe Christmas. And who needs to wait? I want to tell you guys about something I discovered that's sinfully delicious and disgusting at the same time. Oh, my God. So I don't know how I came across this. I think I was like shopping at like a Rite Aid or a drug mart or something once. And you know how the Rite Aid and the Walgreens, the drugstores now,
Starting point is 00:04:11 instead of just shampoo and pills and hair cream and soap. Now they've got like food aisles now, right? So you can go in and they've got like, you know, all kinds of food. don't know why. It's a drugstore. But I guess, you know, drug stores, food stores seem to sell a lot of drugstore stuff now. They got that whole aisle full of stuff. But anyways, I'm walking through one day and I'm, I thought, oh, there's some groceries. Like, well, I guess I do need a few groceries as I wander through the drugstore. So I was like, why not? So, you know, I thought I'll, I won't do my main shopping but I'll pick up a couple of little items and I see this one thing on the shelf
Starting point is 00:04:57 and I got the package right in front of me here it's made by a company called Hormel H-O-R-M-E-L Hormel oh wait since 1891 geez when did these guys go into business the second they stepped off the Mayflower here we are we're in a new place a new place a new world, a new continent, quickly. Build a food factory. Um, but what it is, it's, it's one of these things. It's in a little oval package, and it's called completes. C-O-M-P-L-E-A-T-S, and they underlined eats. Get it, completes. Ready in 60 seconds. But guess what it is? Let me read it to you. Hormel completes. Turkey and dressing made with white turkey, oven roasted white turkey with traditional dressing and rich turkey sauce. Boy, they don't even say gravy. It's turkey. It's
Starting point is 00:06:05 rich turkey sauce. Okay, and it's in a dish, and it's a microwave thing. You punch the plastic film on the top with a knife, and you place this thing in the microwave for one minute. What are you nuts? How long does it take to prepare a traditional turkey dinner at Thanksgiving? I mean, just to thaw your damn turkey takes two days. Two days. Then you put it in the oven for, what, 19 hours and let it sizzle and simmer? You're telling me I can have my Thanksgiving dinner in one minute?
Starting point is 00:06:44 Hello Honk So I bought this damn thing And I thought okay This is going to be ridiculous This is going to be disgustingly gross Why did I even buy it? What's wrong with me?
Starting point is 00:07:02 Why don't I just buy a can of dog food? Rooh roo Shut up I'm yours Shut up So I bought it I bought the damn thing and guess what I put the damn thing in the microwave for one minute it comes out I peel
Starting point is 00:07:21 the film off the top here's this this big it looks like a big bowl of gravy there's so much gravy on it you can barely see the the turkey and I dig in and I thought oh this is going to be awful I take a bite and I'm like whoa well wait a minute that actually tastes like Thanksgiving turkey. What the hell? And then I take another bite and it's soft and it's gooey and it's covered with gravy or as they put it, rich turkey sauce? I don't believe turkeys have sauce. I think they have blood.
Starting point is 00:07:58 If you shoot a turkey or cut its head off, I don't think rich turkey sauce comes out. I think it's good old-fashioned blood, turkey blood. So I'm a little scared at the term turkey sauce. Very ambiguous. Why don't we just say chemicals? So, you know, it's not the perfect turkey dinner, but if you're craving that turkey dinner flavor and that smell, good Lord, these Hormel turkey dinners,
Starting point is 00:08:33 turkey and dressing since 18691, by the way, where I don't even think they had microwaves in 1891, but apparently Hormel was ahead of the curve. I guess, you know, everyone else was boiling stuff in a big black pot over the bonfire, but the good folks at Team Hormel were, you know, in the log cabin whipping stuff up in the microwave. God bless them.
Starting point is 00:09:01 I bet they made friends with the Indians real quick. What you mean, you make them turkey in one minute? Yeah, that's right. We make turkey in one minute. minute. Okay, here. Have Minnesota. Um, so, but here's the kicker. Even though it kind of tastes good, in a disgusting weird way, it tastes good. You got to try it for yourself. I don't know. This isn't a commercial. This is just me. But here's the kicker. I thought, man, here's this thing, and it's not refrigerated. It's just sitting on the shelf. A turkey dinner and gravy are, quote,
Starting point is 00:09:41 turkey sauce, sitting on a shelf, and the expiration date is like a year away? I went, I went, how is that possible? And then it was like, oh, yeah, salt, salt! That's how they do it. They preserve, whenever something's kind of preserved like that, like tuna or salmon, anything in a can, your TV dinners, you know, they just can't shove stuff in there and seal it they got to have some way to like make it stay and one of the methods they use is salt so i look at the sodium in this thing and uh let's see total fat 14 percent saturated fat
Starting point is 00:10:26 15 percent trans fat zero correct cholesterol 13 percent sodium 41 percent hello wow surprisingly it's only 290 calories which isn't bad for a big you know Thanksgiving dinner in your face 20 grams of protein but in one minute you can be having your Thanksgiving dinner so you decide maybe you want to go out and get one but you know with all the stuff you eat every day you know burgers fries this that pasta whatever you really only have the big turkey dinner once or twice a year. But now thanks to Team Hormel, you can just whip it up whatever you want for one minute. So I don't know. I thought it was interesting. Try it if you want.
Starting point is 00:11:27 It's up to you. Hormel completes turkey and dressing dinner ready in 60 seconds. The Samprents in your tree Hello Hello Hey Harlan, this is Zach Indianapolis Just got done listening to a podcast
Starting point is 00:11:52 Number 700 Congratulations on making it there Just a couple things Your new app That you have to pay for I was curious Why don't you ever have sponsors For your show
Starting point is 00:12:08 most of the podcasts I listen to usually have sponsors throughout the show. I've noticed you've never really done that. Just a thought. Also, maybe you could give us one free preview episode on a normal podcast of what
Starting point is 00:12:24 the special episode is going to be before everybody does spend the money for the new podcast app. Anyways, just a thought. Maybe you can Let us know or reflect on that.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Until next time, Jalmain. Well, there he is. Zach calling in. We've had Zach on the show before. Thank you for the phone call, Zach, and some excellent, excellent ideas. Thank you for the kudos on the 7th 100 episode. What a delight.
Starting point is 00:13:01 And as far as me having sponsors on the show, you know, I've had offers for sponsors. And I think it was. one point I tried it for a couple of episodes and I just I don't know it makes me I feel like I'm putting something into my podcast that's like a foreign object it's like you know people swallow things by mistake like safety pins and you know needles and you know coconuts it sometimes stuff doesn't belong so I'm not saying I wouldn't do a sponsor maybe if I I don't know I just It feels like it steps on the purity of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:13:42 How's that? So after 700 episodes, I've resisted the sponsorship thing. I know. It's crazy. But as I said, we do kind of need a little money to help keep the podcast going as it grows and grows. And so if I'm going to ask for money or get money, I'd rather get it organically where, you know, people are, helping out by me giving back something that's part of the show.
Starting point is 00:14:11 So that way it's like a give-take thing where if anyone wants to put some money in, they're getting back something special. They're getting something that contributes to the experience of listening to this podcast. So that's why I've kind of resisted the sponsorship thing, just to keep my podcast pure and clean. And I don't know. I guess maybe I'm old-fashioned that way. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:14:34 But that's why, and as far as the suggestion of giving you a free listen to the bonus stuff, that's a fantastic idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it. That's why I have you guys. That's why I'm turning into Bernie Sanders again. That's a great idea. And what I will do very soon in the upcoming weeks, I will tell you guys about the new secret podcast that I'm doing. and I will play a whole episode. I won't do it on a Monday or Thursday,
Starting point is 00:15:10 but I will put it in under the Harland Highway banner, and it'll probably show up as a special episode on like a Tuesday or a Wednesday or Friday, something like that, and you guys can listen to it, get your head around it, and as you said, Zach, see if you're interested in signing up for that as a premium package. I have a feeling you're going to want to.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I'm telling you, this new podcast idea I'm doing is probably worthy of its very own show. And I have a feeling that's where it's going to go to eventually. But for now, I'm going to do it as some premium bonus stuff for you guys. But I can't wait to hear your feedback on it and see what you guys think. So good stuff. Thank you for the suggestions.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Hey, everybody. Who wants to have better sex? No? Yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order, doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. And it's all going to shake down in the next little while. Now for those of you that want to get the app, you can get the app for free at your app store, whether you're on Android or whether you're on iPhone, just type in the Harland Highway, and it's a great app. And then if you want to sign up for the premium package, I think you can do it through the app, or if you want to go directly to the website, it's Harlandhighway. Lisbon, L-I-B-S-Y-N, Harlandhighway. Lisbon.com backslash
Starting point is 00:18:00 podcast. I know it's a mouthful, but once you're there, you can sign up for the premium stuff. So Harlandhighway. Lisbon, L-I-B-S-Y-N dot com, backslash, podcast. So I hope you guys get there, give it a chance, and sign up for the premium stuff. Right away, when you sign up for the premium stuff, you get all the back episodes. So we give away the first 50 are no charge And then anything in the archives Below 50 is part of the premium package So at this point
Starting point is 00:18:42 650 episodes Is what you're paying for And it's dirt cheap I think it's $8 or $10 a year It's an unbelievable deal For all the content you're going to be getting So I hope you check it out the new harland highway app and what oh he does okay why because you got a letter okay rogers telling me in my
Starting point is 00:19:11 earpiece here that my uh my boss mr featherstone on the 12th floor i guess one of your emails came through from the pavement pounders he read it and he he wants to see me roge yeah okay well i can go up there uh let can we read the letter though from from the pavement pounder just so people know what i'm getting into here okay so we have a letter from one of you guys he sent it in through the website harlum williams com and i guess uh my boss mr featherstone he gets automatically gets ced on all this stuff and he read it and he wants to see me so i'm going to read the letter okay put it up on the there we go all right let me read this okay this is from uh jim barby jim Barbie wrote in and he says
Starting point is 00:19:58 Harland, a five-year plus loyal pavement pounder before you even coined that phrase who's been there for your 400, 500, and 600 podcast. Wow, thank you Jim Barbie. That's unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Noticably absent from your 700th podcast was any mention of your boss, Mr. Featherstone. Did he put you up to the premium subscription feature? Won't he be pocketing all the money? Is there any truth to the rumor that Mr. Featherstone has gone missing
Starting point is 00:20:37 and that you are now a person of interest in his disappearance by LAPD? Yours truly James C. Barbie from Arlington Heights, Illinois. Well, hey, Jim, thank you for this great letter. You know, it's interesting, Mr. Featherstone did not say anything to me about my 700 podcast, which is a big milestone. And you're right. Now I'm suspicious. I wonder where the money is going. And obviously he hasn't been abducted or anything like that because he just called down and wants to see me.
Starting point is 00:21:17 So I'm going to go up there, Roger. wire me up. I'm going to take everyone up with me, because I have a feel and Featherstone's got something nice to say. After 700, he better have something nice to say. And by the way, I'm going to ask him where the money's going for the premium membership. So let's go upstairs. Raj, throw to a commercial, and then I'll make my way up in the elevator and we'll pick it up with the live feed up on the 12th floor. So come on, folks. Let's go up and see my boss, Mr. Featherstone. fresh is a walk through the woods on an early spring morning fresh is a gentle breeze that takes you by surprise fresh is simple with summer's eve the most convenient disposable dish you can buy this exclusive one-piece unit means there's nothing to assemble and it's available in two fragrances or vinegar and water the solution doctors recommend with summer's eve freshness has never been simpler well here I am gang uh i'm up on the 12th floor in the lobby uh outside my boss's office mr featherstone uh
Starting point is 00:22:26 there's the receptionist is a betty hello that's his receptionist betty's over there typing hello betty betty hello okay well nothing um well okay middle finger um nice to see you too betty um okay she's waving me in she's right i'm going to in thank you betty thank you yeah i'm going in um hello hello uh mr featherstone how are you sir hello sir it's harland williams here to see you sir who harland williams sir how wally willie willie sir harland williams from the harland highway podcast Howie Wooz, Willis, Plob, Plah? Harland, Harlan Williams from the Harlan William Plob.
Starting point is 00:23:29 What are you saying? You're making me confused, sir. Well, if you're confused, how am I supposed to get it right? Who the hell are you? Sir, I'm going to say it slowly, concisely, and precisely. What are you rhyming now? What are you, Dr. Seuss and his adventures in Fun Fun Funville? What?
Starting point is 00:23:51 You know, Dr. Seuss. He rhymed everything and he had... Went on bubbly adventures in Bubbleville or whatever. I'm not sure... What do you want? I'm busy. Sir, well, you asked me up here because of my 7th hundred episode of my... My podcast.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Puan Poit! Podcast, sir! Don't raise your voice of me. Lemon time. Lemon time. what what do you what do you want i'm i'm a little baffled sir you look baffled you look like you just stuck your head between a stripper's tits and got smacked with a sledgehammer sir that is a little inappropriate so is your face sir what do you want what's your name again
Starting point is 00:24:45 Harland Williams. Halloween nights? Not Halloween nights. How does that even come close? Sit out and tell me what you want. Well, sir, I did my seventh hundred podcast. Plah, plah. Sir, it's podcast.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Whatever. Sounds like a skunk farted on a mushroom to me. Sir? What do you want? Well, it's not what. I want. Sir, I was told you wanted me to come up here, and I assume it was to talk about the podcast and, you know, where the money goes when people, you know, subscribe to it for the special features and all that. Well, let me ask you this before I do any of that. Okay. Have you ever
Starting point is 00:25:39 fought on a baby gorilla or a baby cheetah? What? You know, No one animals are babies? Yes? All right, guerrilla's got those wrinkled up little faces with the big eyes and cheetahs look like little fluffy kittens that just came out of the dryer. Yes? I'm asking you, have you ever farted on either one of those? Why?
Starting point is 00:26:05 Why would I fart on an innocent little animal baby? Ah, because it's fun, hello? You should see their eyes start to burn. It's like the first time they ever. cried or something. Sir, that is cruel. So is your face. What?
Starting point is 00:26:23 Sir, what are we doing with the 700, with the podcast? Are you the guy that's doing this thing where you got the bonus features and people can subscribe and they get like a special, you know, they pay like 10 bucks or something? Yes, sir. Oh, well, that money's going to me. Excuse me? That money's going to. to me so I can send my kid to singing school.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Wait a minute. Campfire Timmy? Yeah, that's right. Wait a minute, sir. I'm not taking money for my listeners so I can send your bratty kid to sing at singing school. I hope you just didn't call my kid braddy. Well, sir, I'm just calling a spade of spade. How dare you? If you think I'm giving the money to you so you can take it downtown and take it.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Spending at those funny little bars you go to What funny little bars, sir? Oh, you know the one, the, uh, the, uh, rusty sunset. The rusty sunset. Uh, what? Uh-huh. Sir, the money should not, I want to put the money back towards the podcast.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Pra-propra? The podcast, sir! Don't raise your voice. To me, Apple, lemon meringue pie ass. Sir! Let me ask you something. Have you ever farted at a Pioneer Village? Excuse me, sir?
Starting point is 00:27:59 You know the Pioneer Village? It's like a theme place for the history or whatever. And you go in and there's people dressed up like the old days? Yes? Well, that's what I'm as. You ever fart on like a wagon wheel or sometimes you got the girl in the milkmaid thing churned butter you ever fart on a butter churner sir i do not walk around farting on things yeah it's probably because you're downtown at your funny little bars what funny little bars sir oh i don't know how about the
Starting point is 00:28:33 slippery foam booth for one the slippery foam booth ah excuse me uh uh sir sir you know How about this one? The olive oil laptop. I don't even, I've never even heard of that. Yeah, right. Sure you and all your guy friends go there and, uh, you know, dance around in your PJs. Sir, I don't even know how to answer that. Let me ask you this.
Starting point is 00:29:08 And be serious, look me right in the eye when you answer. Yes, sir. Have you ever farted? Sir, I don't fart on things. Shut your grease hole and listen. Good Lord, sir. Have you ever farted on an accordion? Sir!
Starting point is 00:29:27 I don't fart on musical instruments. Oh, you will. By the way, isn't that the name of one of your funny little bars? The vainy accordion? Sir! Ah! Sir? I'm...
Starting point is 00:29:44 Sir... What are we doing with the money? And by the way, I would like a congratulations for my 7th 100th podcast, please, sir. Oh, you would, would you? Well, why don't I just get a bunch of daisies and throw them in your bathtub while you're rolling around with your guy friends? Sir, I don't roll around in my bathtub with my guy friends. Yeah, I bet you do.
Starting point is 00:30:11 probably like a walrus covered in fudge grease sir I am not a walrus covered in fudge grease ah sir by the way you ever fought underwater and it floats up into the air
Starting point is 00:30:32 and pops in your grandmother's face sir that's not even physically possible it's called a font bubble asshole sir do not come me names. You're telling me you've never fought it under water and the bubble floats up out of the bathtub, floats down
Starting point is 00:30:49 the hall, your grandmother's coming out of the linen closet or something and pop right in her face of broccoli cows are all fought. Sir? You know what? This is going nowhere. I'm getting far questions. You're accusing
Starting point is 00:31:05 me of going to funny little bars. Well, that's where you go, isn't it, on Saturday night? sir how about uncle blimpie's fun room you ever go to that one i've never even heard of uncle blimpie's fun room sir uh sir uh all right i'm out of here sir i got no respect from you i didn't get a congratulations you're you're diverting the money from our listeners our prized listeners our wonderful listeners and you're sending your kid to singing school, what are you going to do about it? I own this station, I own this network, and I own your stupid prod prop. It's a podcast.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Pla plo pla. I'll say it how I want. And if you don't like it, you can go stick an onion an electrical socket and suck an electric onion. There's no such thing as an electric onion, sir. There is if I say there is. And you'll watch your tone or I'll make you suck some electric broccoli right out of a vacuum cleaner, you puffed up freak face. Sir?
Starting point is 00:32:17 Get out of here. I got, look at this. I got a phone call coming in. Boy, oh boy, sir. I bet boy, oh boy, for you. Chef Boy, Audie. You ever been to that bar? Chef Boyd.'s Fudgehouse.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Stop it. Get out of here. I got to take this. phone call. Thanks for nothing, sir. Oh, you're welcome. It's free. Get out of here. Jeez. Well, here I go. That led to absolutely nothing. I got verbally abused. He accused me of... He doesn't even know how to save the name of my podcast. I don't know why I even come up here. Betty, thank you. I'll see you next. Betty? Okay, she just flipped me off again. Hey! She just threw a pencil at me. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Goodbye. Roger, play a commercial. Can you hear me, Roger? Yeah, play a commercial. I'm going back down to the studio. I'm pissed. Cat.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Hat. In French, chate chapeau. In Spanish, your agato and a sombrero. In German, your a catza in an hut. I also know. Herb your a gulka in a bunk of funky in Eskimo. Why, George, I think he's got it. Now, if you will, allow me, sir, but please don't think I'm
Starting point is 00:33:35 motion, I think that I can tell you what you are in, in, in Russian. What? Shabka, schlapa. You're a shabka in a schlapah. Hey! Hey! Well, I'm glad to be back in the studio away from my dopey boss. What a nutbag.
Starting point is 00:33:53 What's wrong with that guy? My apologies to anybody who's been offended by anything he said about farting or gay bars or anything. He's just such a knob. And I don't even care if he hears this. But speaking of good people versus him, I want to close the show out with just a little comment about the visit of the Pope to the United States of America. You know, it was a lot of hoopla, a lot of people, you know,
Starting point is 00:34:29 running around having Pope mania. And, you know, at first I think, thought it was a lot of hysteria and a lot of, you know, overdoing it. And I thought, what's, what's with all this, this stuff for the Pope? Why, why so much stuff for the Pope? And then on Saturday, I watched him give his, I don't want to say speech or sermon, but he gave his words. He offered his words up at the gathering of the families in Philadelphia.
Starting point is 00:35:05 And I guess he had a sermon or a speech of some kind prepared. And he decided to just go raid off it and improvise it, according to what all the reporters said. And he went on for about maybe 15 minutes, 20 minutes or so. And they had an interpreter there who spoke English. You know, the Pope would talk a little bit in his native tongue. And then he'd pause and let the interpreter. say it out loud in English so everyone in the audience could hear it.
Starting point is 00:35:39 And the Pope was just so engaging and bright and charismatic. And you could kind of feel his charisma right through the camera lens. And he was kind of a, you know, he came across very serious and stoic, but at times he just lightened up and he kind of like started smiling or laughing or saying something humorous. And his whole face just lit up when he smiled, and his eyes would sparkle. And they filled up with a youthfulness and a mischievousness. And there was just something very captivating about him that I really enjoyed watching.
Starting point is 00:36:23 But more than anything, and, you know, this little commentary isn't about being religious or anything. But more than anything, I felt after he talked and during him, talking um you know he he said some very interesting things and whether you believe in god or don't believe in god if you're if you believe in a religion if you practice a religion or not i think as a human being you might have connected to him and his message and his energy and he said that before any of this any of this stuff we know any of the things that humans bring to the world any of the human problems any of the human feelings any of the human situation before there was anything before god even created the world he he created love and and that's a that's a big thing
Starting point is 00:37:21 to wrap your head around and and you might be going oh god so religious and everything but but really if you listen to what he says that he created love before he created the world and then he created the world and then he created families and that families were an expression of love and uh you know i'm not i'm not quoting it word for word but it was very uh it was very very interesting to hear it and and here's the part i wanted to talk about it was i found it very powerful and positive and loving the message and whether it was the dalai lama saying it or or a Muslim leader or, you know, a rabbi. It didn't matter to me because the overall message was about us as a humanity,
Starting point is 00:38:15 us as human beings all together. He wasn't just talking to Catholics. He was talking about the world and all the people in it. And he kind of wrapped his arms around everybody and talked about how love was the driving force of the world. Love was stronger than evil. Love propelled us forward and that we should never forget the power of love and what love does and how love is what really keeps us together in the end.
Starting point is 00:38:47 But beyond the message, whether you got entranced by that message, or you absorb that message or not, here's the part that really struck me. And I hope you guys, everybody listening can appreciate this or my point of view on this. You know, we live in a world that lately seems to be getting darker and darker. You know, the atrocities by ISIS, the atrocities by the al-Qaeda, the fighting in the world, Afghanistan, the Middle East, Russia, you know, the atrocities in Sudan, you know, militant groups kidnapping 200 girls, people, being beheaded. And I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer here, but there's an element to our world that's very dark.
Starting point is 00:39:40 And you hear it on the news repeated over and over and over again. And there's kind of been this like veil of kind of foggy darkness that seems to lay on top of the activities of humankind right now. And there's not a lot of people preaching the light, you know, preaching the good, preaching hope. And, I mean, maybe there are in your local communities, but on a big global, worldwide way, there really isn't. You know, there's politicians giving the typical political talk and standing up at the podium and saying, we're a great country and we can do anything and blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:40:22 But with the Pope, it was different. It was almost like the Pope's words and his charisma and his warmth and, and, and, and, And just everything he said, it almost felt like that, you know, you know when you see a dark, cloudy day and it's been raining, and all of a sudden the sun kind of pushes the clouds aside, and the light pushes through the grayness and the darkness, and you can see the sun hit the land, and you can feel it on your skin.
Starting point is 00:40:57 And what a difference the brightness makes? And I'm going to, you know, emphasis on that. word the brightness, because that's what I felt the Pope did when he talked into the cameras and addressed the world and addressed that crowd. I'm not using the word religious. I'm not using the word Catholic or anything tied to religion or, you know, Jesus or anything like that because I don't think that's what it was. What I felt was he just punched a hole in the darkness and brightness came through and it washed over me
Starting point is 00:41:33 and it washed over the crowd and it really felt good I gotta say in a world where you know I don't say I walk around and look at the darkness in the world I don't walk around under a gray cloud and go God what a horrible world but we're most of us
Starting point is 00:41:48 aren't blind to some of the bad things that happen in the world right and that can cause psychologically that can cause us to feel like ah there's there's there's this there's this bad stuff going on out there but in that moment i felt like that the pope kicked the door open and and in a way that maybe sometimes we forget he goes
Starting point is 00:42:11 no no no there's a lot of good out here there's a lot of light there's a lot of hope there's a lot of there's a lot of energy there's a lot of love and the power that love brings and uh it was very powerful to me, very moving, and I really enjoyed it. I didn't know that I would. I just started watching and I got drawn in and it made me feel really, really good to know that, you know, there's a force like the Pope that can make an impact on people and remind us of the light and all the good in the world. And as I said, it doesn't even have to be based on religion. It can just based on him as a human being, making us feel and remind that from another human being. So really cool. I don't know if any of you guys had an effect from the Pope being here,
Starting point is 00:43:09 or if you watched him, or you listened to him, or you even cared. But as I said, at the end of the day, I feel like people like him, regardless of what their religion is, are very important. to, I would say, the soul of humanity to remind, remind us all that light always wins. Light always prospers. Light is the source of, I guess, love, and never let the darkness knock you down and keep you down and make you feel like there is no more light. and so we're grateful for people like him
Starting point is 00:43:56 that can remind us of that and show us that and it was a beautiful thing. So there you go. A few little comments on His Holiness, the Pope, from me to you to close it out. I don't know what your interpretations were. I'd love to hear if you have some thoughts about it. 323-739-4-3-30.
Starting point is 00:44:17 You're welcome to leave comments. and I'll leave it right there thinking about the Pope. The old 80-something-year-old Pope. Bringing the light, man. And speaking of bringing the light, like I said, please get the app. Now be aware the app is brand new, so we've already had a few little phone calls and emails and stuff about things that are still a bit
Starting point is 00:44:49 sticky. Maybe there was a couple of little tech issues, but we're working those bugs out as quickly as we hear about them. It's nothing major. On Apple, there was a little bug where if you tried to press the phone number to call the show, it didn't connect. It worked on Android, but it did not work on Apple. But we have that fixed already and a few other tiny little things, but please go and get the app, sign up for the premium service. It's going to be really fun this year having the premium service. And of course, I'll fill you on more about that, including the new podcast that I've been kind of teasing you about. So check it out on your phones, the Harland Highway app. And then let's see, do we have some stand-up comedy announcements here? Yes, we do. We
Starting point is 00:45:45 October 8th to the 11th, I will be in Portland, Oregon, fantastic, at a comedy club called Helium. Great Room, October 8th to 11th, Portland, Oregon. Please go to Harland Williams.com and click on my stand-up schedule for all the info and tickets. And then two weeks later, I'll be in Denver, Colorado. I love myself some Denver. That was where the Harland Highway actually originated when it used to be on terrestrial radio before I turned it into a podcast.
Starting point is 00:46:23 October 23rd and 24th, Friday and Saturday night only. Please come on down all you pavement pounders to the Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado. Again, all the info is on my website at Harlandwilms.com. Well, you're there, check out our store. We've got all kinds of fun merchandise for you. And you can write me at harlandwilions.com. You can phone me.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Again, the phone number is 323-739-4-3-3-0. All that stuff is in the app, by the way. The new app, if you want it. You just press a button on the app to write to me or press a button on the app to phone me. And you're in, man. You're in like Flintstone. So looking forward to having you guys.
Starting point is 00:47:12 join up onto that app and thanks again and that's it for today we are done i'm going to go back down to mr featherstone's office and throw a pie in his face or something and until next time i always remember look for the light feel the light walk in the light believe in the light ladies and gentlemen and also believe in chicken chowmaine maybe have you a ever farted on a baby gorilla or a baby cheetah what

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