The Harland Highway - 711 - Let's celebrate 7-11, stories from everyones favorite convenience store. Loud hotels

Episode Date: November 2, 2015

It's the 711th episode so today we talk about 7-11 convenience stores and how they played a role in our lives. Halloween stories. More Underwear Leg feedback. And what does one do if one stays in a LOUD ass hotel? Motel sicks!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to podcast we go. Yes, we are marching down the Harland Highway like big fat Disney elves or dwarfs, whatever they were, the seven, they weren't the seven elves, they were the seven dwarfs, the silent W, dwarf. Welcome to the Harlan Highway. I am he, Harlan Williams, the eighth dwarf, dwarf. Today, oh my God, well, this is the, we celebrate 7-Eleven. Today is the 700th and 11th podcast. So what better way to celebrate than to celebrate the 7-Elevenience stores? We're going to be talking about those, telling 7-Eleven stories, reminiscing about 7-Eleven.

We've all been to 7-Eleven. We're also going to be talking, following up on the underwear leg syndrome. There's been more miraculous phone calls from pavement founders telling me that underwear leg has happened to them as well. Yes, I'm not the only one. I'm going to be telling you about one of my Halloween parties that I went to, some fun hijinks that happened on my Halloween night. There was two parties. I'm going to tell you about the first one today and then the second party on the next podcast, but a lot of fun, a lot of laughs.

And then the question of the day, the Harland Highway question of they involving a lot of Loud hotels. Here we go. This is the Harland Highway. What is this? Some kind of a joke or something? Welcome to the Harland Highway. What you're talking about Williams? Son, you got a panty on your head. Shut up and sit down, you big ball fuck. Oh, God, what's happening here? What's happened?

Hey, Harlan, it shall leave. You just made a wrong turn. On to the Harland Highway. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. What's wrong with everybody in this crazy place? The Harland Highway. What is it?

The opening. To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Happy 7-Eleven day, everybody.

Stop it. It's not really 7-Eleven day, but it is today because this is the 7-Eleventh podcast of the Harlan Highway, so number 7-Eleven. And I thought, how apropos to celebrate not only the 711th podcast, but also So why not celebrate the 7-Eleven convenience stores? It's not their birthday or anything, but it's just the same number. 7-Eleven convenience stores, 7-Eleven podcast, the Harlan Highway. So why not delve into some 7-Eleven stories?

But before we do that, why don't we play you a little bit of info on the 7-Eleven chain? Just to get you up to speed. You're probably thinking, Hurland, you know, I don't really need to know anything about 7-Eleven, okay? I want to hear some dialogue. I want to hear some comedy. Why do I need to know anything about 7-Eleven? Well, you know what?

It's probably more interesting than you think. 7-Eleven's one of those things you probably take for granted in your life because they're always just there and you don't think about them. So I'm going to give you some good old-fashioned 7-Eleven learnings. Okay. So open up your head, pull your skull cap off, and listen to this, and then we'll reminisce about 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven's the place to stop. Just drive right in and come as you are.

We'll come out and serve you in your car. Can you imagine your life without 7-Eleven? Here are 10 uncommon facts about the world's favorite convenience store. Number 10. In 1946, the store changed hours, opening at 7 in the morning and closing at 11. p.m. due to the economic uptick following World War II. That prompted the name to change from Totem store to what we know now. Although the hours have since changed, the catchy name stuck. Number 9. In certain parts of the world like Indonesia, the stores are a lot more

upscale. They are considered trendy hangouts. Think along the lines of Starbucks. Some even have live bands. How do you like that idea? Checking a cool band at the local 7-11. Number 8. Okay, you can tell the truth. A slurpy is your favorite beverage. Well, it sure has to be for millions, considering 6.5 billion slurpees have been sold since the launch in 1966. Number 7. You may not realize that beyond food and drinks, 7-Eleven has got you covered with all kinds of unexpected products.

Headed to the beach, pick up some trendy flip-flops from the store. And if you're concerned about catching some unfriendly viruses on the beach, 7-Eleven has got a respirator for you. Finally, when back home from the trip, enjoy your evening with the sex on the beach incense, all thanks to 7-Eleven. 6. Can you guess which is the busiest day of the year for 7-11? Well, it may not always be the busiest, but Christmas Day certainly is one of the busiest. With many other stores closed, the company has much less competition on that day.

Number 5. Talk about coincidence. Even though it wasn't the reason behind the name choice, July 11th is the official birthday of the chain. Since 2002, customers who visit on that date get a free slurpee. Number 4. If you lined up all the pastry items made for the 7-11 chain in a one-year time frame, the treats would stretch on. for 6,000 miles. Basically, that's enough for a round trip from Boston to San Diego. Number 3. Out of all the United States-based retailers, even the biggest supermarkets, 7-Eleven takes

the cake for selling the most cold beer and cooked hot dogs. Number 2. Wondering how the company decided to stay open all day and night? After a University of Texas football game in 1963, students kept coming to the store all night long. There was never a break, forcing employees to stay open until dawn. From there, the 24-hour trend was born. 1. The chain sells 1 million cups of coffee on a daily basis. Break it down. That's 10,000

pots made and served every single hour of the day. Okay, so come on, give me a break, right? That was a little more interesting than you thought it would be. You know, everything has a story and almost everyone listening, unless you live under a rock, have probably been in a 7-Eleven. And if you haven't been in one, you've probably been outside in the parking lot of one smoking cigarettes rolling joints or losing your virginity in the back of a dune buggy okay so lighten up um but we all have the 7-11 experience one of my favorite ones is um i think y'all know the comedian uh norm macdonald right now he's playing uh colonel saunders norm macdonald is now colonel saunders unbelievable so norm is a guy norm macdonald is a guy from

Saturday Night Live, pre-Saternad Night Live, pre-moving to Los Angeles, Norman, as I call him, Norman McDonald, is a Canadian boy just like me, and Norman and I cut our teeth in the same comedy clubs up in Toronto, Toronto, Canada. And Norm and I were, I guess, two of the Canadian boys that emerged out of the pack. and for whatever reason, we kind of, like, bubbled to the top, and we got a lot of, a lot of juice, as they say, and we kind of took that momentum, and we both moved down to the United States to Hollywood. Norm went a year before I did.

Norm actually got the invite, I think, from Roseanne Barr, actually had seen Norm perform, and Roseanne, who was, you know, the number one sitcom star at the time, wanted Norm to write on her show. So he came down to pursue that and a few other things. You know, Norm started to have a lot of heat around them. And then I kind of went through a similar process where I was ready to fly the coop.

And I had some things, you know, I wanted to get done down in Hollywood. So I moved down a year later. And Norm and I were very close up, Canada. We worked together a lot. We hung out. We went bowling and then played hockey. We did some fun things together. But then when I moved to L.A., we really spent a lot of time together. Norm and I would, you know, hang out, have dinners and lunches. And what one thing we used to do is we'd play tennis all the time. There was a tennis court over by Norm's house at the time,

which was over in Hollywood. It was one of those free tennis. courts nestled in the community and he and i would play very competitively and neither of us were very good but we you know norm loves norm loved uh you know the idea of winning and losing and so did i i loved that's what i love about games there's a winner and there's a loser and uh and we were both very competitive and and uh we would play and play and And, you know, if I'm going to be honest, I won probably 90% of the time. And Norm could call in and dispute it, but there was no disputing it. I won most of those games.

And Norm was so competitive, we'd play like a bunch of games and would be tired and worn out. And we'd sit down to rest, and Norm would be like, ah, come on, man. Come on, let's play again. come on I want to play again man and I'd be like you know I was all young and full of energy I'd be let's go dude

and we'd play again and we'd be twice as worn out and we had great games and there was great camaraderie and we just had a blast but what we did afterwards and this is a very fond memory outside of hanging with Norm is we would walk over to

a 7-11 at the corner I think it's of I think it's on Laszianega, just above Santa Monica. I think the other, the cross street was Holloway or something like that. But on La Siena, I got right over by the International House of Pancakes. There's a 7-Eleven, and me and Norm would just be, you know, we were idiots. We weren't the kind of guys that understood dehydration. So we never took, like, bottled water to the tennis court.

We would just play and play. we won't even drink out of the fountain. We'd just play and we'd be spent. We'd play for three, four hours, just sweating. And we'd, you know, this is the middle of the day because we were a comedian, so we didn't work during the day. And we'd walk over to this 7-Eleven and we would get the Coke slurpees,

the frozen Coke slushies or slurpees or whatever they're called. And we would sit in that parking lot. And that first sip, it was like heaven. It was just like our bodies were on fire. Our throats were dry as a witch's popcorn fart. The air was hot. We were sweating. Our clothes were drenched.

We were like a couple of warriors. We were like Federer and Venus Williams stepping off the tennis court at the U.S. Open. Just spent. And we would get these big, giant, you know, and I think it's the only time of my life I ever consume those things. Outside of that period, I think it was about a year, maybe two years we did this. And we would just go into 7-Eleven and you pull the handle and this stuff comes out. I hate to say it, it looks like a cow taking a dump.

it just kind of pumps out of this big hole and it plops into your glass but you don't care it's like give me that frozen cow dump I've been playing tennis for eight hours and it would almost burn going down your esophagus

down your throat down your tubes because it was so ice cold juxtaposed against your body temperature and the temperature around you and then the sweat and the heat and it was just like it was almost it was almost like touching something frozen

and your whole body started to freeze it's like when they put hands solo in that liquid stuff and they froze them it just felt like your body would turn to ice and me and Norm would sit there and we couldn't even talk like we'd you know in between games when we'd take a break

we'd talk and joke and tell stories and laugh and on the walkover to the 7-Eleven we'd laugh but once we once we got our mouths around those straws that's that that liquid of life started going down into our systems we just we couldn't even talk we just savored it it was like a 10-minute courtesy silence for 7-11 there was a 7-1 10-minute 7-11 courtesy silence where you just let the slurshy or whatever it's called. Now I'm mixing them up, a slurpy, slushy, whatever it is. You just let it take over.

And that's probably one of my fondest memories of 7-Eleven. And then one of my other memories, I think I might have talked about it on this show before. It was a funny memory. I don't know why or how this came about, but I was out on a road somewhere. somewhere like on a busy street in front of a 7-Eleven and for some reason I think I had a box of donuts. I don't know where I got them and in the box of donuts was one of those great big bear claw things you know the big like they look like they look like a bear claw really big and puffy like an apple fritter and I remember for whatever reason I took one bite of this bear

claw and I didn't like it so I just launched it I threw it through the air like a football and And it flew through the air and went right towards the 7-Eleven just as a guy who was pulling the door open at the 7-Eleven. And I remember seeing the bear claw go flying through the open door and just blow down the hallway of the cell. Like it hit the floor at the entrance and just like slid, you know, down the hallway. It just made me laugh. Like it's just such an odd thing. Like you open a door and a bearclaw flies in. Like how random is that?

So there you go. A couple of my little 7-Eleven memories. I'm sure you guys have some good ones. That's why I kind of pointed it out here today on 7-Eleven day, even though I'm making it up. If you want to call and tell me a 7-Eleven story that's sentimental to you or if you lost your virginity in a dune buggy in the parking lot, 323-739-4-330, 3-3-739-4-3-3-0.

Happy 7-Eleven day. Oh, and happy 7-Eleven podcast. Can't forget that. Hello? Hello. Hi, Erwin. It's Chris from Halifax, just on my way to work and a rinse for a rainstorm here tonight.

I've got to go up to Moncton, the big truck. I was listening to your show there the other night about you're talking about your... your underwear and the pant leg deal. You don't feel too bad about that, man, because I've done that a couple times myself. And I'll do you one better. I actually put my boots on and walked into the bus stop

in my long underwear before I realized what was going on. So there you go. So the underwear and the pant leg, like you say, it's no big deal. Okay, okay, bud. We'll talk to you later, chicken jamie. Oh, Chris, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. See, I told you, guys.

I knew I couldn't be the only one. who did underwear leg Chris got into his long johns and walked into a store before he realized he had his long johns on so there you go out there in halifax there by Halifax for those of you that don't know is a city on the east coast of Canada in oh god don't kill me i think nova scotia or new brunswick it's new one of It's Nova Scotia. And it's right up, it sits up there above Maine.

And the folks out there, a lot of them got a nice eastern Canadian accent thereby. Now, not all of them. I'm doing the extreme one, but they got a great accent. It reminds me of the Pikes from that movie, Snatch. But them there, them East Coasters, they'll take out jigging for squid thereby, if you give them a chance. Lord Tundran Jesus, thereby. How are you doing there, Harlan, by? Let's go, Jekin first.

Hereby, Lord Tundon Jesus, by. So, great to hear from you. And thank you, thank you, for confirming to me that I'm not the only one that does underwear leg, underpants leg. But wait, oh, wait, is there more? Hey, Harland, Shelley. I am busy counting. the pavement and the trails on Vancouver Island.

Anyhow, I just want to let you know I'm a bit behind in your podcast, so I'm trying to catch up this weekend, but I have had underwear leg. I've had underwear leg, sock leg, and panty hose leg, so you are not alone. And as well, my favorite Halloween candy is something that we call rockets here in Canada. You might call it something else there, but oh my gosh, they're so yummy, and sometimes I eat them all at once, or I'll save them, and when I need a bit of a per cup, throughout the day I'll have a little happy pill, aka a rocket. Anyway, TGIF, have a great day, great weekend, happy Halloween. Bye. oh so sweet not only underwear leg but sock leg and pantyho's leg so how about that it just this thing just keeps growing uh man well i i want to thank you for calling and if you guys want to call in

323-739 43-3-3-3-3-3-7-39-4-3-30 if you have any underwear-legs stories you'd like to share please do drop home by and let me know won't you The Harland Highway question of the day Why not, right? We had so much fun with the underwear leg question

And I got such good feedback I have to ask this question question and this one is annoying as all ass hair oh my god this happened to me recently and it's happened to me many times and i hope it hasn't happened to you but i bet it has oh it's so annoying i i get riled up just even starting to talk about it okay here it is question of the day if you go to a hotel should you pay for the hotel if they're doing construction in the hotel and second question

should they warn you when you're checking in that they're doing construction because let's face it when you go to a hotel all you're really going for at the end of the day is a place to sleep a place for some quiet a place to shut out the world if you're a business person

you probably need your room as an office space so you're basically paying for space, quiet space. It's a hotel. It's a facility that's geared towards sleeping and comfort. And if there's a bunch of noise going on, a bunch of hammering and drilling for hours, even if it's during the day, A, should you be warned before you check in, and B, should you have to pay? Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes? Yes. The answer is yes. You always want to have better sex. That's what you want it to be better, not worse. Trust me. And Adam and Eve is offering

50% off just about any item plus free shipping. And more than that, Adam and Eve wants to make your life easy. They offer discrete shipping as your privacy is a priority. Plus 100% free shipping on your entire order, doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy, all will be packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast. Don't wait, Better Sex is just a click away. That's 50% off, one item, and free shipping. Bring more pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to Adam and Eve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or anything you desire. Just enter the offer code Harland to check out. That's Harland, H-A-R-L-A-N-D at Adam and Eve.com.

This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast. So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discount and 100% free shipping code Harland. Have fun. Don't throw your back out. And a lot of people like me, I work at night. Sometimes I have to sleep during the day at the hotel because I do my stand-up shows late at night

or I get up real early in the morning to do the media blitz, run around the city and do the TV and radio interviews, and then, you know, I'm up at 5, 6 in the morning. I do that for three hours. I got to come back and have a rest. I got to sleep because I got big shows that night. I need my energy.

Now, here's an example. I actually recorded this in a nice hotel recently, and this is exactly this. and there. I was running around doing my morning media blitz. I had a big show that night in a theater nonetheless. And I needed to get some sleep because I only had about four hours sleep the night before. You'll hear of the tiredness in my voice. And I decided to record the unconscionable racket that was permeating the whole hotel. It didn't matter what floor you're on. You can hear this stuff.

And here's what my room sounded like. This is me in my hotel room, trying to sleep. You hear that? I phoned the front desk. They said it's all through the whole hotel, all the way to the 15th floor. Wow. What are we paying for? hotel has a bed

and all you really want to do in a hotel is sleep now I'm trapped in a room with a Woody freaking woodpecker right Woody huh yeah

same to you pal can you believe it Did you hear that? And that's just like through the speaker on my phone, okay? It sounded even louder being in the room. This is the middle of the day. It went on all day. I had to leave the hotel and go out and walk the streets and go find something to eat.

And, you know, I had to wander around in a mall like a zombie being. I had no sleep. I was catatonic. Who could sleep through that rack? it was just unbelievable and so my question is and this has happened to me before and when you check into a hotel and like hi how are you mr williams welcome to the sheridan arms we're so excited to have you hope you enjoy your stay we have a wonderful room for you there's vending machines there's a gym there's a massage parlor we've got wonderful room service mr williams oh and did we

We've got 12 robotic woodpeckers right over your bed in the ceiling tiles. They'll be pecking all night for the next 48 hours, Mr. Williams. Did we mention that there's an old lady under your bed banging a pot with a sledgehammer, Mr. Williams? Did we tell you there's a fucking rhinoceros in the bathroom trapped in the bathtub and he's going to smash his way out for the next two days? But other than that, enjoy your day, Mr. Williams. Are you effing kidding me? Up yours, hotel.

You weren't going to tell me about the construction crew? Five floors above with the jackhammer. Retiling the bathroom in the handicapped suite. Regrouting the pipes. Stripping the wood floor. with a sandblaster? Mining for coal? Through the...

Whatever. Isn't that ignorant, man? And they don't tell you? And you phone the front desk, and they're just employees? Yes, we're sorry, Mr. Williams. It's all through the whole hotel. We're so sorry.

I know this is awful. And they sound so upset. Why are they upset? They just, they have to stay, they have to be awake. They have to work. What are they upset about? Up yours. So there it is.

There's the Harlan Highway question of the day. If you pay to stay at a hotel, whether it's a nice hotel or a shitty hotel, and you pay good money, and you're paying for quiet and rest, and sanctuary Are they obligated to tell you And should you have to pay Williams out Up yours Woody Woodpecker

The Harland Highway Question of the day And speaking of nutty cartoon characters I promised you guys I'd tell you about my Halloween So I told you I was going to two parties I'll tell you about the first one uh the first one was uh was a blast it was at a uh like a hollywood nightclub you know we were out

and uh all these people coming in in costumes and gorgeous girls and guys notice i don't say gorgeous guys why do i why do i want to say that just guys who cares about guys there's a bunch of guys but lots of gorgeous girls And girls are great on Halloween, man. You know, you get all kinds. You get the ones dressing up super sexy. You get the ones that don't care. You get the ones, I don't know, it's fun.

But we went to this Hollywood nightclub, and, you know, whenever you go out in Hollywood, you know, there's so many gorgeous women in Hollywood that whenever you go to one of these clubs, you're overwhelmed by the hotness that's around you. And so that's always fun. And so me and my buddy were just hanging out, had a few beers. And it's always funny if you get a little buzz going. The world becomes funnier when you're standing around people that are dressed really bizarrely.

It suddenly, it almost felt like a flashback to Burning Man. I told you earlier in the summer I went to Burning Man. And a Burning Man, you got 70,000 people all dressed up funky. So this Halloween party was a little bit of a flashback for me. but we had a laugh we were laughing our heads up there's one girl there her costume was she had a blow-up doll strapped to her back but it was upside down so it looked like this blow-up doll was sucking her ass and so we we immediately called her the ass sucker and we spent about half an hour just making ass-sucker jokes it looked hilarious

and then, you know, a bunch of other people, there was girls, hot girls are dressed up like they were in clueless. And then there was a few girls or guys, I'm not sure. This is where me and my buddy had a big fight, not a big fight, but a big disagreement. I guess the club hired like some models, and they were done up like to the T, like their faces, their makeup, like really overblown like makeup and next to nothing on like a little little thing covering their boobies quote unquote and like a little thong or something covering I was afraid to look down because look I'll be honest I don't like looking at nude dudes and I was certain these girls were

dudes and he was like oh no those are girls and I'm like no way dude those are like no way dude Those are like dudes, but I think that the people at the club kind of purposely did it. They found either really flat chested girls or girl guy in-betweens that are in transition from switching gender. I don't know. But there was like three of them, and they have very slim, slender, tight bodies so that you couldn't tell, you know, by through the makeup of it was a guy or a girl and my buddy's just staring at him going oh my god and I said dude you're staring at a dude

he's like no way and I'm like dude it's a dude dude dude I felt like we're in that that movie dude where's my car dude you got a tattoo so do you dude no

dude what does my tattoo say sweet what about mine dude what is my Sweet. What about mine? Dude, what does mine say? Sweet.

What about mine? Dude, what does mine say? Sweet. What about mine? Dude, what does mine say? Sweet. What about mine? Dude, what does mine say?

Sweet. What about mine? Dude. What does mine say? Sweet! You, you... Idiots! Nah,

says sweet got it oh yeah it's a dude no it's a girl dude it's a girl dude it's a girl dude it's a it's a chick dude no so that's that went back and forth with me and my buddy and i think i won and i just you know at one point i did glance down and you know like i said they're wearing a thong so you could see full ass cheek and i was just like i i couldn't take Hell. It was a real quick glance. I was just very uncomfortable. I just don't like people tricking me with their gender.

Okay? Show me a magic trick. Show me a coin twirl. Pull a bunny out of a hat. Make the statue of liberty disappear. Don't toy with my sex drive. Don't dangle your sexuality in front of me and at the last section go, Gotcha.

I'm actually a guy. I know you were hoping to see like. titties and vulva but how about my cock and balls in your face how about that surprise trick a trade it's like no you don't you don't trick me with that you know anything else i've got a card up your sleeve you take my watch off my arm you know there's a there's a shiny silver dollar behind my ear great ha ha funny hey amusing um you whip off some clothes and there's a giant penis in my face. No, not a fun trick, okay?

Copperfield. So anyways, we went through that for a while. And then, you know, we were talking to girls and we were just having a blast. And then we got the hunger. We got, you know, we got the, we got to hit the drive-through, dude. So what we call Uber.

And I'm pretty new to Uber. And we go outside of the club. And as we're walking out, the paparazzi guys nail me, right? The paparazzi guys nail me, the TMZs or whatever they are. And, you know, it's so weird because you're coming out, you're with your friends. And all of a sudden these guys, like whip these cameras up and they got the lights on them. And one second, it was nighttime. Now it's like light.

It's like you're standing in traffic and there's a motorcycle coming at you. You've got a big light. And they're like, hey, Harlan, they're yelling at you. And your friends don't know what to do. Like your friends kind of like slink to the side. They're like, oh, God, what do I do? Or they stand beside you. It's more almost more awkward for your friends than for you.

And so the guy starts talking to me about, you know, half baked. He's like, what's better half baked or the Tommy Chung, Cheech and Chong movies. And then he starts getting into Hallie Berry. He's like, hey, Arland, do you think it's too soon? Hallie Berry is going through a divorce. Do you think she's fair game on the market? Or do you think she's purposely doing stuff to, you know, repel gentlemen? Do you think she's purposely trying to deflect men and turn them off by not dressing properly or something?

And so, you know, remember, when I come out of a club after, you know, having a few beers, I'm a little fired up. I got a little fun buzz going. So I'm giggling and laughing And I'm like, dude, it's Hallie Berry Hallie Barry could have broccoli growing in her hair Stretch marks across her face She's hot She's Hallie Berry

And then I said something I don't even know where it came from It was like one of my lines out of my You know, something about Mary movie That I improvise I just go Hallie Barry could do a watermelon bubble fart And guys would still love her

And so that got in my head And now I'm laughing all the way home At watermelon bubble fart What the freak is that? It just like rolled out of my mouth. I have no idea where it came from And so now I feel like You know, if TMZ ever plays it,

I've ruined Halliberry's career. That's what I said to my buddy. I just ruined Hallie Berry's career. Now nobody's going to be able to look at This beautiful Hallie Berry Without her doing a watermelon bubble fart. It's like I invent that's ridiculous so that was hilarious oh and speaking of inventing when we're in the club i

invented a word it's like people would be walking by and for some reason i invented like some kind of german word people are like hi and i'd be like uhlash kabuggeflagen and they're like what and i said uhlash babugaflangen and they're like oh okay hi uhlash and i'd say it again again again like an idiot and people would walk by and i'd say it to them and oh it was ridiculous but anyways we go we go when we get in the we called the uber and we're waiting for it and all sudden an uber pulls up and the guy rolls down the window and mumbles something and i go yeah yeah i'm harland blah blah blah so so we jump in and we're on our way to to get the burgers at wendies right and uh and and and so we're driving

and halfway through our drive, like my phone rings. And I go, hello? And the guy goes, yeah, this is your Uber driver. Where are you? And I'm like, I'm in the Uber, dude. Are you in here with me? Are you, like, calling me? And then all of a sudden it became apparent that my buddy's like,

dude, we're in the wrong Uber. And then the driver heard. He's like, oh, no, is your name, Catherine? And I go, dude, no, my name's not Catherine. I'm Harlan. He's like, oh, man, I've got the wrong, I think he was an East Indian guy. I've got the wrong passenger. And we're like, well, we're almost at Wendy's, dude.

Okay, but I, you know, what do we do here? Maybe you can talk to him. And then, so now the, my Uber driver wanted me to get on his phone and talk to the other guy, because the other guy was having a fit. And I'm a little, like, juiced up on beer. So instead of saying I'm going, you know, instead of saying hamburger, you know, when you get a little juice, you twist your words around so I started going Hamburgi

right just to kind of make myself laugh and annoy my friends so I get on this guy's phone he goes sorry you've got the wrong Uber and I said I can't I can't stop right now we're going to Wendy's for a Hamburgi my buddy's laughing his ass off of the the Uber driver's like

what are you saying what are you saying I said just go up there you see the sign we're going to Wendy's for a hamburgie we want a Wendy's cheeseborgie and I just kept saying it and then I realized I'm not talking on the guy's phone I'm talking in the guy's earbud he handed me like a wire to his phone and I thought it was a microphone so I'm talking into the Uber driver's earbud and I'm yelling we're going to get a hamburgie oh so we get to Wendy's and it's closed the drive-thru is open but the indoor parts closed and we wanted to go in and sit down we don't want to of sitting in an Uber. You don't sit and eat drive-thru in an Uber, do you? That's probably bad

etiquette. You don't eat your hamburgi in an Uber. So we go, oh man, take us to In-N-Out burger, which is another burger joint in California. So we're rolling down Sunset Boulevard, and we go into the guy lets us off, and it was just a debacle, and then we ended up getting our burger and shake and fries on, and then we called it a night. so a little bit of crazy stuff that's the first Halloween party i'll tell you about the other one on the next show i don't want to overload you and that and i've got to go get a hamburgie um so there you go my adventures in hollywood on Halloween Hollywood Halloween there it is um so there you go i'm going to leave it there because uh that that was a kind of a fun little reenactment of my night

I enjoyed that. I don't know if you did, but I certainly did. Oh, oh, oh. So, hey, before I go, I just want to let you know that my podcast app is available now. Go to your app store and type in the Harland Highway and you will get the app for free. And if you join the premium package on the app,

so the free part is 50 episodes. You know, up to the last 50 episodes of the podcast, totally free. New episodes free. You get everything free, but if you want to delve into like the almost 700 backlog episodes of the highway, that's $20 a year. Plus the premium members get my other podcast, which I do periodically throughout the year called Let's Have a Fight, which is a phenomenal podcast. If you want to hear a sample of it, go back about four podcasts and you'll hear it. Let's have a fight. It's a full podcast, tons of fun. Plus you're going to get special, premium member features and content that regular listeners won't be getting. And it's 20 bucks a year. That's nothing. And it goes to support the podcast and keep, well, actually both podcasts now and keep the ball moving. So I hope you can join up for the premium membership.

Also check out Harlow Williams.com at the store. We have a store in there. We have all kinds of content you can look at. and you can also phone the podcast 323739 43330. It's really easy if you have the app. You can just do it on your phone. There's a button that goes right to dials it automatically for you. You can also contact us via email while you're in the website, harlomwilms.com.

Check out the store. I always say this early because it always happens. People order gifts from the store for Christmas, but they wait too long, and a lot of times we can't possibly get the stuff shipped in time so that people get it on the 25th. So if you're going to order some Christmas presents from our store, hilarious shirts, music, CDs, movies, whatever, please try and get into the store early and put your order in so we can make sure it gets to you on time. Listen to this. Halloween just ended. I'm already talking about Christmas. Good night, Nelly Frittato.

So that's it for now, gang. I hope you had a great time here on the Harland Highway. And we'll catch you next time. And until then, chicken, chameen, baby. Dude, what does mine say? Sweet. What about mine? Dude.

What does mine say? Swing! Thank you.