The Harland Highway - 730 - DR. ASCOT RETURNS. Islamic Fatwa for the good of man.

Episode Date: January 7, 2016

Dr. Ascot check in with Harland to make sure he is mentally fit to do his podcast in 2016. An Islamic Fatwa that serves mankind. Harland gives a tutorial in crazy voices. And 2016 ENERGY. Burn in a yern!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You begin to eat the dust of Baja California. Well, welcome to the podcast, the Harland Highway podcast. I'm Harland Williams. Wow, it looks like I'm learning to talk. And speaking of learning to talk, today one of the weirdest things ever, today I'm giving you a tutorial. One of the pavement pounders called in and asked for a tutorial of the most ridiculous proportions, wait until you see what I'm about to teach you verbally. It's unbelievable. Stick around for that. Also, we're going to be talking about energy, the energy of 2016.

We're going to tap into energy today, people. Oh, yeah. We're going to get the energy going. Also, Dr. Ascot is here for his beginning of the year, psychological assessment of me to make sure I'm fit to continue doing the podcast. Not looking forward to Dr. Ascott coming, but he will be here. Also, we're going to get into a wacky news story that gets me fired up. Oh, yeah, I get really fired up when you hear this wacky news story. It's good, but it's also bad.

And I'm going to get into it So put your helmets on It's 2016 Let's feel the energy This is the Harland Highway Where am I What is this? Some kind of a joke or something

Welcome to the Harland Highway What you're talking about words Son, you got a panty on your head Shut up and sit down you big ball fuck Oh God, what's happening here? What's happened? Hey, Harland, it's Shelby You just made a wrong turn

On to the Harland Highway We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other thing, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. That is fantastic. What's wrong with everybody in this crazy place? The Harland Highway. What is it? Opening.

To what? To another dimension. This is Harland Williams. You're a bad man. You're a very bad man. That is fantastic. Okay, okay. So it's a new year.

Okay? So instead of starting the new year off with a minute of prayer or silence, let's start it off a little energy. Okay? Just a little kick. Bear with me for a minute. Just hunker down and kick the year off with some sweet energy. It's a great pleasure. It's a great pleasure. it's a great pleasure to have all of you here today I thought you all might begin your tour here here We're going to do. Thank you.

Come on. Yeah, feel that energy. Move it. Yeah, it's a new year. Woo! Yeah, energy, baby. Woo! Yeah!

Come on now. Get the beat out. Mm! Beat those eggs. Oh! Yeah! Doesn't that feel good? I'm gonna drop some more energy in.

That little spots. along the way of the podcast. I'm so energetic, I can't talk. I'm so pumped up. I've lost control of my faculties. Me not know how to string words. Me not know together. Me too energetic.

Turn into Hulk. Okay, calm the hell down, Williams. Woo! Oh! Breathe. Don't that feel good, though? Just a little. little shot of some funky energy to kick things off.

Yes. You know what? Screw my energy. Let's hear how you guys are feeling coming into the year. Let's take some of your phone calls and see how you're feeling about, you know, let's hear your energy coming into this new year. That's what we're going to do. Enough about my energy.

What do you guys got to say? Hello? Hello. Hey, Harlan. Love the show. I just listen to episode 724. And listen, buddy, you can, you can, uh... Hello?

Hello? Hello? Okay, well, like, so much for that guy's energy. Who else do we got? Fuck your mother up the ass. Fucker. Fucker. Fuck your mother up the ass.

Fucker up the ass. Fucker up all night, fucker up all day, fuck your mother up to see us all I got to say today. Okay. You know what? Hey, we're going to go right back to my energy. How about that? Let's, you know, thanks for the calls, guys. Real, real nice, real upbeat, real positive, upbeat way to start the year.

Good Lord. What the hell's going on, 2016? Sweet Christmas crumble cake with a side order of cranberry crustacean covered cornbread. Wow. Well, speaking of energy, it's the beginning of the year, and I guess we're going to have to bring the energy down a bit now because it's mandated. that I have to check in with my on-air therapist, you know, on a regular basis. You know him, Dr. Ascot, who comes into the studio. And he's sitting here right now glaring at me.

Why are you here? Why do you have the yellow socks on at the beginning of the year with the brown diamonds on them? Holland. Well, come on. Holland. Yeah. So what are we doing? doing? Why are you here?

Arland, it's the beginning of the year, Arland. Yes, I know it's the beginning of the year, Ascot. And? And what? And Arland. At the beginning of the year, we have to evaluate you. We don't want a loose

cannon running around on the airwaves. Oh, God. Haven't you figured it out after six years? Arland. Well... Holland.

Can you not say my name, please, for the whole year? Holland. Stop it! Holland! Cut it out! God! I'm just testing you, Holland, to make sure you're of sound mind and of sound body. Well, I am until you come in. here you always get me upset and throw me off allan you've been talking about energy yes i have and

you just kind of brought the energy down again worse than the guy that was talking about effing my mother alland well i didn't tell him what to say alland i didn't tell me about your energy for 2016, Alland. I don't know. It changes all the time. Sometimes I'm up. Sometimes I'm down. Sometimes I'm in the middle. So it sounds like somebody's on a bit of a roller coaster ride. Well, that's what emotions are, aren't they, Ascot?

Arland, you have to learn to level out your emotions. Because when you get on a roller coaster ride, what happens? Arland. I don't know. To me? Yes, Arland. Well, I tend to get sick.

And when you get sick, what happens, Holland? What do you mean what happens? I throw up. Where, Arland? If I'm on a roller coaster, I throw up in the air and...

Where does it go, Arland? It flies all over the place. And where does it land, Arland? I don't know, it lands on the people's faces sitting behind you, Arland. So, okay? So if you're here telling me that your emotions are all over the place, like you're on a mental roller coaster.

Yes? In essence, everything you say, including this podcast... Yes? Is just you vomiting up carrots, celery, roast beef, and whatever else you ate all over the listeners' faces, Alland. I'm not throwing up all over my listeners' faces with roast beef and carrots and... Celery. Salary! Holland, you have to recognize it for what it is.

Oh, really? And what is it? Basically, your podcast, Arland. Yes? Is you puking all over the public? I'm not puking all over the public. There's people that like this podcast. Oh, really, Arland. Yes, I have listeners.

And what types of things do your listeners have to say, Arland? I don't know. They like my opinions. They like my comedy. They like... May I press this little red button here, Holland and remind you what your listeners are like. I guess so. Ascot,

Turn it off. I do not want to hear that again. How dare you? Turn it off, Ascot. Are you going to turn it off? Holland, listen. Turn it off. What the hell is wrong with you?

Oh, Arland, as you puke up your garbage all over your listeners, they in turn respond by puking up their garbage onto you. We're not puking up garbage. You know, I was doing really good until you came in here with your lemon yellow socks and your, what color is that sweater? Purple, Arland. Who wears lemon yellow socks and a purple sweater? Orland, it sounds to me like you're puking up again. I'm not puking up! Almost smell the rotten.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Tomato soup and a salad? I did not. You know what? I think we're done here. Arland, see you're all over the place. I'm all over the place because of you, asked Scott. Holland.

Stop saying my name. Ohland. Get out! You're making me upset. I'm not going to do this. Holland, do you want me to get you a doggy bag or a bath bag so you can puke up some more of your podcast? I'm not puking up a podcast.

These are well thought out. I work very hard at these. You know, I once saw a child puking over the side of a boat because they got seasickness. But now I'm wondering if maybe they were just listening to your vomit-worthy podcast, Holland. Get out of here. I'm not going to be insulted. Get out. Holland, here's a nice bow.

Why don't you puke up your... Get out! I'm not puking up anything. Puk, Holland. No! Puk! Stop saying puke. Bauff, Holland. Barf, Holland.

Barf. Roland, Ralph. Get out of here with all your vomit terms. What's the matter, Holland? I don't know. All you're talking about... All you're talking about... Vomit is...

Holland? ...is making me... Now all I can think about is... Are you going to puke, Holland? You know, I do feel kind of... That's it, Holland. Puck up your disgusting podcast, Holland. a commercial, Roger. Get out of your ascot.

Pugh, puke all of puke. Go to a commercial. You've got to get to that theater. You've got to stop him. John Wilkes, Booth. He's going to kill Lincoln. I'm leaving you people. What do you mean, you people? What do you mean, you people? Huh? I think what Tug means is you people, you actors, you people.

You people. Look at him, B.D. Why do you want to get back to him? Okay, everybody stop. Everybody stop. Stop arguing. The energy's going all wrong on this show after Ascot's horrible energy and people yelling, let's get back. Let's get some more funky, cool music energy back to set this ship straight. Hey, everybody, who wants to have better sex? No, yes, yes.

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So be sure to use this code Harland so you get your discreet. count and a hundred percent free shipping code harland have fun don't throw your back out hit me hit me with that music roger give me some energy senator welcome to our microwave is there anything of yours that we could keep as a momentum of this business Take forward. Okay, okay, right, we're back on track for you. We're back on track. That's good. We're back on track. That's good. We set, we set the

energy back to where we need it to be at a good high level, a good concentration where we're we're just, we're just, you know, oh, Charles, oh, ha, ho! Whoa, easy, easy. Hey, Harlan, man, you got me all screwed up with my family. It's all your fault. I keep trying to be Charles Nelson Riley. They're rolling their eyes. my son's trying to do it we're always doing it and we just can't get it right so

yeah Charles Nelson Riley see you know that I need out parlance can you give a tutorial on how to do a good Charles

Nelson Riley and then I got a yeah a yamma a ding dong suit and maybe a Mr. McGoo too because I get those mixed up I must say

all right thanks following just a tutorial hey no problem man all you had to do was ask it is confusing uh charles nelson riley is is uh is tough he's very tough because uh you know this show's been all about energy and with with charles nelson riley when he does his voice it's like he yams himself up he gets all oh he gets all excited oh oh but then he brings himself right back down again

And that's kind of the hook with Charles Nelson Riley. It's like you got to get yourself really amped up and excited. And then just when you're about to crescendo, pull yourself back down again. And almost in your head go, I'm not allowed to get this excited, but I can't stop myself. So I'm going to get yourself. Oh, wait a minute. So it's just kind of that. It's kind of like a wave in the ocean.

It kind of rolls up high. and then it crashes into the shore and then another one rolls up. So just when you're doing his voice, think of big waves rolling in. Hi, I'm Charles Nelson Riley and I'm getting excited. Oh, but I'm not allowed to get this excited.

Oh, so I'm going back down here and I'm going to take it easy for a ceremony. Oh, but here it comes again. So there you go. That's your Charles. Nelson Riley tutorial. And you also mention an old fave of mine. Oh, Mr.

Mgoo, sir. The gentleman asked to find out how to do Mr. Mugu, sir. Basically, Magoo, you just kind of put a lot of weird pauses where they shouldn't normally go. Like a normal guy

would go, I'm going to the store to buy some bread and milk. And Mr. McGoo would go, Oh, sir, I'm going to the store, sir, to buy some bread, oh, and milk, sir. So you just got to put in stupid pauses and little grunts and groans. And that'll get you there, man. That's your, that's your, probably the weirdest. I've done a lot of weird things on this podcast,

but I never thought I'd see the day in my lifetime when I would be doing a tutorial on how to do Charles Nelson Riley and Mr. Magoo's voice is back to back. This is an unexpected treat. I mean, it's a, oh, it's just wonderful. Oh, I can't believe someone finally asked to do Charles. Oh, Nelson, Riley. Oh, take it easy, sir.

And bring it down a notch. Charles. Oh, Nelson, Riley, sir. Oh, ho. Okay, that's exhausting. The ocean waves must go calm for a few minutes. But it's interesting. this whole show's turned out to be all about energy, energy, energy.

I say we throw back in some more energetic music just to keep the vibe going. Come on, Roger, give it some more energetic music. You know, I'm going to be able to be. I'm not I'm going to be I'm going to be the

I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going so as I'm going and I'm

We're going to be I'm going to be able to be. We're going to be able to be. I'm gonnae. Wow! Wow! Take out of you Take California.

California, take that energy. Oh, my God. And in case you're wondering who's doing this awesome music, it's a group called the Propeller Heads, and the track is Take California. And there's still a little more to go. You know what? We'll shoot that out at the very end of the show,

after all the credits and everything. Because I don't know about you, but that just gets me going. That gets my head bobbing and my feet tapping, and it's pretty, pretty cool music, man. And then, like I said, we're just trying to set the tempo here for 2016. It's going to be a wild energetic year. Let's put some energy into it, man.

Let's rock and roll. Why not? Why not make this the year? If you haven't thought about it, why not put this in your head? You know what, 2016, I'm going to amp the energy up a bit. I've been kind of coasting. I've been kind of, you know, on a level of 1 to 10, I've been riding at about a 6. You know, I get by.

I do my thing. I do what I got to do at work. I don't make any waves. You know, my social life. You know, it's cool. You know, I don't go out of my way to do too much. You know, I'm comfortable at a 6. Up yours.

I'm challenging you to put the energy up. Put it up. Why not? 2016, that's our motto. Write it down and put it on your fridge. 2016, up in the energy. Get it going to, get to the gym a few times a week. Go out dancing a few times a month.

Go to a nice restaurant. Go play some sports. Do something. Dude, just do something. 2016 up the energy Yeah man Could it be up the energy or how about up the annoying Yeah Harland it's really not energy when it's annoying

Okay Like there's energy over here But you're over here where it's annoying So if you could just you know Cut the bullshit Ha ha No I'm gonna keep bugging you to up the energy That's a new year, do it

And the year's going to be full of wacky stories In fact, why don't we check the wacky news story thing And see what we can kick the year off, something wild Roger, hit the theme The Harland Highway Crazy news stories That's weird Wow, that's strange stuff

All right, this one is going to kind of blow your mind a little bit Um, we've heard enough about, like, Islamic terrorism and Islamic violence and, uh, the fatwa, the Islamic fatwa. Um, and, uh, you know, it's like, we're just inundated with it. And it's nothing but evil and bad and people dying. But what if I told you a story where it was actually good? the Islamic fatwa turned out to be a good thing for the world. You'd be like, no effing way, dude. Well, check out this crazy news story.

Here's the headline, Islamic clerics declare fatwa. You ready for it? Not on America. Not on infidels. On poachers. Islamic clerics declare fat, fatwa on poachers.

I love this story. Check it out. Muslim clerics in Indonesia and Malaysia have become unlikely warriors in the battle to save endangered animals declaring wildlife poaching as a sin in the two Muslim majority nations. Can you believe it?

Clerics in Malaysia's northeastern state of Tagaruga, Wauwagga. I can't even pronounce it, recently joined Indonesia in issuing a fatwa on a religious edict against illegal hunting. When Indonesia's top Muslim council issued the fatwa in 2014, it was hailed by conservationists as the first of its kind. The neighboring Southeast Asian countries among the most biodiverse nations on earth home to vast array of animals from tigers and rhinos to elephants, sharks, and manta rays,

which, by the way, are being slaughtered like crazy, so that Asian markets can make ridiculous voodoo dust and soup and Viagra and all this bullshit. We're losing all our natural species on this planet to abolish. bunch of Asian and Chinese hocus pocus where people believe that if they eat a reindeer antler, it's going to clear up their psoriasis. Oh, I got athletes' foot. You got some baby Stingray for me? I got the dandruff for my hair.

You got some grizzly bear liver for me. Yeah, I got the underarm deodorant. I got the underarm, oh, my underarm stink. Can you deep fry a panda bear cub for me so I can, come on. So this region has become a global hotspot for wildlife poaching due to growing demand, and here it is, for animal parts used in traditional Asian medicines. exotic pets, food and trophies combined with weak law enforcement

Oh my back I got lower back pain Yeah can you please Can I eat a tiger please You have an endangered tagger I know there's only You know 120 wild taggers left But this back pain

Every now and then it hurts when I try to sit down So if you could let me eat a tiger, I know it must cure it. Idiots. And if you think I'm making fun of them, yeah, I am. They deserve it, man. They're killing our freaking wildlife. I don't care if Limkow Wong has a sore back. Fuck them.

I want my grandchildren to see a tiger living in the wild. I don't care if Wing Chao Hawkins. Has a migraine headache? Fuck them. I'd like my children to experience seeing a grizzly bear in the wild. Thank you. Good Lord. Here it goes.

Let's continue here. Religion is a powerful medium. One of the scientists at a university in Malaysia who was involved in breaking this story. He says the whole idea is not to create. a new law, but to support the current civil law against poaching. We're not trying to change the culture overnight, but we are hoping that the fatwa will help build peer pressure. The fatwas

come as the threat of fines and jail terms seem to be having little effect in combating the lucrative illegal wildlife trade. Think about it. If you're a poor family that lives in in Malaysia or in Indonesia or somewhere in the exotic islands or in China. You know, these people work all year to make $4,000. Like, and I'm not talking 40-hour work weeks. These guys are working, you know, almost 24 hours a day off the time.

They make like $2 an hour. So if they see like a nice, you know, mountain goat walking by that's worth $60,000 Oh, I think I just got my Christmas bonus Oh look at the The mountain girl come down from the hills That my Christmas Oh I shot it right between the eyes

60K Gonna be a good Christmas this year And how about that? My migraine headache is gone Holy frock Up yours Unbelievable So we go on to read here that the edicts are not legally binding but are aimed at influencing the behavior of the faithful.

For example, the fatwa against poaching says Muslims who violate it will be considered sinful. And I guess that plays a big part in. in, you know, the Muslim religion. I mean, you've seen how intense the Muslim religion is. I mean, if you're a gay guy, you're getting thrown off a building. If you don't agree with, you know, some of the Muslim teaching, you're getting your head cut off. Now, to be fair, I'm talking about radical Islam.

But even regular, you know, Islam faith, you know, there's some stricter rules. There's, uh, I think. I think a lot of the Muslim faith follows Sharia law, which has really got some really rigid rules and almost probably rules that shouldn't be rules. I'm not super well-versed in it, so I'm not going to continue, but I've heard things. And, you know. So anyways, the Islamic clerics can play a major role in raising public awareness on conservation issues. in the Muslim heartlands

where over 95% of the 1 million population follow Islam. It is hoped the fatwa which was announced in late November can later be extended across the whole of Malaysia. Well, that would be nice. The top Islamic clerical body in Indonesia, home to the world's biggest Muslim population,

said it decided to issue a nationwide fatwa against illegal hunting and the trade in endangered species as protecting animals was in line with Kuarnik teachings. I don't know what that means. Some of this stuff is,

sounds like outer space to Kowarnik, Fatwa. My name is Kowarnik. This is my sidekick Fatwa. Welcome, planet Earth. They say animals have a right to live and we humans should protect them and ensure that they flourish.

Yes, I agree. This is, yes, this is common sense. There's a quote here as Muslims, we have a duty to maintain the ecological balance. You know, that's one of the nicest and best, most sensible things I've heard out of the Muslim world in the last five years, you know, because all you ever hear is this crazy radical Muslim.

crap. So this is the Muslim faith, you know, doing something quite good for the world, if it works. Despite the renewed push to stop poaching, authorities and conservation groups face an uphill battle. Frequent reports

in Malaysian, Indonesia about endangered species being killed for their valuable body parts, such as elephants, ivory tusks, and about alleged wildlife trackers being arrested, show the magnitude of the problem. Just last month, wildlife protection officials seized 60 protected turtles and frogs

that were allegedly to be sold to local restaurants, as well as rare birds in a separate raid. You see what I mean? There's just this greed, this lack of caring, this instantaneous satisfaction from these people who either they're uneducated, which I don't believe, I believe they must know what's up because they know that, you know, the green frog ain't worth shit, so they ain't poaching that one, but they know that the spotted yellow and black frog is worth a fortune, and then it's rare, quote, rare, so they go after that one and try to make money.

It's just awful I mean before you know it Species are going to be gone gang I mean we're losing them every day as it is But to have to lose you know Reptiles amphibians and mammals and birds So someone can have a nice bowl of soup Fuck you go to the store and buy some Campbell's fucking chicken noodle soup

And I can and get off your fucking high horse you ass Wad Look at me getting mad I hate this shit shit. This stuff does get me very, very mad. Let's see, here we go. Last year, Malaysia's iconic Malayan tiger was placed on the critically endangered list by the International Union for Conservation of Nature, the world's leading authority on the conservation status of species as its population is thought to have shrunk to just 250. How about that, gang?

250 Malaysian tigers left. How much time do you think they have left on this world? Oh, that's okay. If I can clear up my arthritis, I only need 50 tiger. You'll keep 200, I take 50. But then again, my uncle, he got sore elbows, So maybe we take 50 more, but that, oh, wait a minute. My sister, she has cramped when she get her period.

So we take all tigers, 250, yeah, it's okay. I got diarrhea. I might need to swallow a tiger to stop my bubbling diarrhea. And you want to know how I got diarrhea? Well, because I ate a baby polar bear carb. I ate two. I only should eat one. And now my tummy is upset.

So now I need to eat a tiger to counteract the polar bear cub that I ate. Which, by the way, there's only 12 left in the whole world. Fucking morons. And yeah, I'm doing the Asian voice, but if it was Swedish people, I'd be doing their voice. Yeah, I ate the tiger. I ate that the tiger because I had the tummy ache. Yeah, it's... I'm picking on the people.

people that are pulling the shit, man. Unbelievable. You want to hear another one? Okay, in Indonesia, the most prominent recent case was the death by suspected poisoning in September of a tame Sumantran elephant named Yonki who used to help rangers patrol threatened rainforest habitats, the killing of the critically and

endangered animal for his tusks sparked a surge of online anger and featured on several newspapers front pages. So here's a, here's a, a, and critically endangered elephant that was domesticated and friends to the humans and some assholes when no one was looking poisoned the fucking thing and took its tusks so they could sell them to China and China could make a carving of a bunch of people carrying a boat and working in the fields and whatever that bullshit is. Isn't it disgusting?

Now, this part I don't like, there is yet little evidence to suggest that the fatwas have had a major impact. Nevertheless, the Indonesian Council insisted awareness about poaching and the illegal wildlife trade had grown since last year's fatwa. Cautioning would be a long-term effort to convey the message that poaching is against Islamic teaching. Well, I hate to say it, gang, but with 250 tigers left and with a bunch of animals critically endangered, we don't have a long-term effort. How about we string up the people that shoot animals in the public square, and just show the village and the city what we do to poachers. I don't care.

Well, shouldn't you be compassionate to humans? That's a little intense, Harland. I don't care. Up yours. Look, once all these animals are gone, they're gone. There's over seven billion humans and we just keep going. At this point, I'm more concerned for the animals. I'm sorry.

If there's a batch of humans that don't seem to give a fuck about the rest of the world, I want to just keep annihilating Earth species. They don't have any regard for the human race, because guess what? It all comes back to us. When all the animals start dying off, we die off too. We're all interconnected. And, you know, don't think you're being compassionate by,

saving poachers. What's their contribution to the earth? Nothing. They're taking it the other way. So string them up, I say. Make it loud and clear. What else do we got here? Let's read the rest of this. Indonesian authorities also took a religious approach when trying to combat people smuggling. Indonesia is a major transit point for asylum seekers Well, I don't really care about that stuff I mean, that's not what I'm talking about I do care

But we're not talking about, you know, human trafficking We're talking about, you know, animals here So let's see, law enforcement is regularly being criticized as patchy in all these countries convictions for wildlife trafficking and killing of protected animals are still rare. The fatwa helps put the poaching issue in the spotlight. It focuses on a community where many are involved in illegal hunting. It is nice to hear voices other than enforcement and conservation groups on this issue.

However, governments in the region need to make full use of national. laws to protect native wildlife and work together to tackle the international legal wildlife trade that has led to Southeast Asia being a global hot spot. And that's the end of that story. Man, oh man. Just annoying. Like we live in this world where we're smarter than this. No matter what culture you're from. You know, people are walking around with with iPhones in their hands, supercomputers. It's not like they can't find this stuff out.

You can't walk around the world nowadays. Oh, I live out in the country. We don't get the news from the rest of the world. We don't know about all this stuff. We live way out in the, we live in farm country. Now, guess what? The internet goes everywhere now. So don't try to, you know, fool us with your sweet and innocent bullshit.

so there you go gang that's our first crazy news story of the year and we'll leave it right there there's some energy for there's some like angry energy right this show's been all about energy wow so uh let's get to some some energetic uh announcements and then what we'll do is we'll get to some energetic closing music to end the show how about that uh let's do some announcements here, Rod. Let's see. Why don't we start with some stand-up comedy? Let's switch gears to laughter, from anger and frustration to laughter. How about that? Like I said, my brand-new 2016 stand-up comedy tour schedule is out. You can find it at Harlandwilliams.com on the comedy tour link. And yes, my first show of

2016 is in Florida, everybody, Tampa, Florida. I will be in Florida at the improv. Wednesday, February 3rd through Saturday, February 6. So Wednesday to Saturday, the 3rd to the 6th in Tampa, Florida. And then the following week, if you're in Florida and you don't live in Tampa, go up to Orlando. Orlando, Florida. Yes, I will be in Orlando. Orlando at the improv in Orlando, February 11th to the 14th.

So Valentine's Day, gang, come and have some Valentine's Day fun. So Tampa, February 3rd to the 6th, and then Orlando, Florida, February 11th to the 14th. And then if you live in Phoenix, Arizona, it's Scottsdale. I'll be at the House of Comedy in Scottsdale, Arizona. Great new club. It's only about a year and a half old. Fantastic club. This is going to be February 25th to the 28th.

So make sure you get your tickets. Go online. Everything's posted at Harlanwiliams.com. You can even get your tickets right on the links on my website. While you're there, check out the Harlan Williams.com merch store. We have all kinds of great gifts, shirts. CDs, movies, books, everything. Order your merch today.

Also, you can write me. There's a contact number there at harlandwiliams.com. You can send me an email if you like. Or you can phone me and leave a message like some of our wonderful listeners did earlier in the show. Not. 323739, 43330. That's 323739, 4330. those numbers, that number is available at the website, harlot Williams.com. Also, please,

if you want to get the Harland Highway on your cell phone, go into your app store, click on type in the Harland Highway, and you can download this incredible app for free. The podcast will be on your phone. It's really fun to use. It's easy. It's simple. And you will get the latest 50 episodes of the podcast, absolutely free. And then while you're on the app, if you want to join the premium content, you just click on there, $20 a year to go premium. And you get all kinds of bonus stuff.

You get a whole other podcast that I do called Let's Have a Fight. You get special interviews, special characters, all kinds of special stuff all throughout the year. And I think you're going to really like that. So 20 bucks for the premium membership. And that's it, man. That's all we have time for right now. I hope you had a good time.

Once again, happy New Year, and let's keep the energy up, gang. Roger, let's go out with some final energetic music. This is a propeller head. Take California. We'll close out the show. And until next time, chicken. Chowman, baby.

Roger, no. No, turn it up. Your mother up the ass. Roger. The other music. Booker up on it. That's all right. That's all right

That's all right That's all right